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What are some things you've done as a result of your psychopathy?
psychopathyis....
Confessions of a Sociopath: A Life Spent Hiding in Plain Sight
by M.E. Thomas
Available in Paperback and Kindle
www.amazon.com...
TRANSCRIPT
What are some things you've done as a
result of your psychopathy?
Sometimes when I think about these
stories, these Guilt stories, I don't know
what people would feel guilt about so I
do have a little bit of mind blindness
There. You know like I I've never lived
the life of somebody who feels this
empathy, this guilt, and so I don't
know what might trigger it.
I've never
really felt anything for animals
you know. I've never had a pet or
ever felt like a connection to animals.
I've never tortured animals. I
know you know some Psychopaths do torture animals for
various reasons but I never was
one of those that tortured animals. There was, however,
one time I was teaching swimming lessons and
I went out saw that there was this baby
opossum in the water. It was
just struggling to try
to get out of the pool and I thought the
baby opossum must have fallen in the
pool during the night or in the early
morning and now he's trying to get out.
But I also thought an opossum is a
pest and I don't want this opossum around me.
If I fish the opossum out then who
knows what he's going to do. Even domesticated animals can kind
of turn on you especially when they feel
like they're kind of in that fight or
flight kind of moment so I was like, I'll
just drown the opossum. What I did is I
just got a hose and just kept
hosing him so he's trying to get up
and I'm just trying to drown him
with the hose and I do that for
five minutes and he's he's actually a
trooper this baby opossum and so I
thought, this is not working. I figured I'll just
cancel the swimming lesson and just go
off and do something else, you know, go to
the beach for that afternoon.
I think maybe that seems cold-hearted to
people the way I went about it
but that's just kind of an interesting thing too - we're
socialized to certain things.
Different things are cold-hearted to different people and I
guess I am just immune to socialization
in general.
Another
example that stands out to me is
I was living in Los Angeles and it
would have been a
12-unit apartment complex. It was kind of
a nice apartment complex and I was an
attorney at the time and I was
making well into the six
figures and so it was very
comfortable for me to pay the rent. But I
noticed that my neighbors across from me
were driving like 1980s 1990s
Civics. Both of them were driving these
old Civics and I thought
I wonder how these people are paying
rent? I thought of it sometimes and I also
noticed, since they parked
right next to me, that they had these two
bikes that were collecting dust. I had
a friend visit me one weekend and I
thought let's go biking. And I thought,
well I have my bike but I don't have a
bike for you and I don't want to have
to drive somewhere and rent a bike because it's very inconvenient. I figured we should just
take my neighbors’ bikes. So I went down
and I pumped up the air and the
seats had dust on them - I mean they
clearly hadn't been ridden for years and
they were just little cheap Schwinn bikes
you know probably $100 or something.
So we bike and we come back several
hours later-we bike to the beach and it was great, it was fun. And then in
the evening I get this knock on the door
and I go answer it. Luckily it was me who answered and
not my roommate at the time because I answer
it and it's my neighbor and she said: you
know my bikes were missing earlier and
we were looking all over for them
and then we noticed that they were
replaced. Do you know what
happened with the bikes? I said yes, I
borrowed your bike and I
took it to the beach with my friend. Color drained from my neighbor’s
face-she was so angry at me. She
was like, why would you do something like
that and I'm gonna call the police and
that's theft. And I said it's probably
not theft technically - if anything it's
conversion, the tort of conversion, and
you'd have to sue me in small claims
court and I don't think the damages
would be very high because I just took
the bikes for several hours.
That was kind of my reaction but she
was livid.
The thing that people
find most shocking about the
book is when I say that I'm probably
smarter than the person reading the book. I find that to be an unusual
reaction for that to be the
most shocking thing in the book. It
surprised me, I didn't understand why
people would feel that way because that's
just statistically true. I mean I score
in the 99th percentile on all
standardized tests. Maybe there's been once or twice when I haven't
scored the 99th percentile
even on graduate school tests.
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