Psychotherapist's Hacks on How to Change Your Life | Lori Gottlieb on Impact Theory

Change. What holds us back from accomplishing it, why do we fail time and time again in pursuit of it, and how can achieve it once and for all? It is what frees us from being stuck in our ways and it opens up our lives to new opportunities, perspectives, and paths that we didn’t even knew existed.
On this episode of Impact Theory, Tom Bilyeu joins psychotherapist and author Lori Gottlieb to discuss such matters and more as they explore the power of therapy, how to move on from your past and forwards towards change, and why self-compassion is crucial to leading a happy life. They discuss how to become unstuck in your negative ways, how to truly achieve change in your life, why it’s crucial you need to have self-compassion, the freedom in knowing you have choices, how to see things from other people’s perspectives, how forgiveness is truly achieved, and ways to overcome trauma and pain.
Order Lori’s Book, ‘Maybe You Should Talk To Someone’: lorigottlieb.com/books/maybe-you-should-talk-to-someone
SHOW NOTES:
Stories | Lori shares the power of stories and why she chose that approach for her book. [0:10]
Unstuck | Lori discusses the power of therapy and its ability to move you forward in life. [1:23]
Change | Lori discusses our incredible ability to make changes to our personalities. [2:57]
Approach | Lori shares her approach as a therapist to encourage her patients to change. [4:41]
Choice | Lori discusses why people face such challenges when trying to make change. [6:35]
Comfort | Lori shares how she makes her patients comfortable with the idea of change. [9:10]
The List | Lori shares the guideline that can help you begin moving towards change. [10:05]
Self-Compassion | Lori discusses how to develop self-compassion in your life. [14:29]
Cognitive | Lori shares her approach in relation to cognitive behavioral therapy. [15:57]
Homework | Lori reveals the actionable homework she assigns to those that seek it. [16:45]
Freedom | Lori discusses the power of taking a breath and feeling the freedom of choice. [17:56]
Perspectives | Lori shares the power of putting yourself in other people’s shoes. [20:59]
Betrayal | Lori shares how she approaches cases of patients with hurting relationships. [23:41]
Cheating | Lori discusses what could really have been going on when a partner cheats. [25:35]
Patterns | Lori shares examples of unfinished business brought into relationships. [27:00]
Childhood | Lori discusses the influence of your childhood self has on your adult self. [28:27]
Forgiveness | Lori discusses the true nature of forgiveness and how it’s achieved. [29:50]
Overcome | Loris discusses how a couple can come back together after betrayal. [35:43]
The Sexes | Lori shares the similarities between both men and women in therapy. [38:23]
Trauma | Lori discusses pain and how it shapes our personalities if we don’t heal. [41:53]
Move Forward | Lori shares why you need to accept the freedom of adulthood. [44:36]
Reframe | Lori discusses how you should frame your mind to let go and move forward. [46:36]
Connect | Lori shares how you can continue to follow her and stay connected. [47:50]
QUOTES:
“…some of us, like sort of human nature, would rather stay in the familiar place, even if the familiar is miserable or unpleasant, than to say I’m gonna risk something and go to this place that makes me really uncomfortable.” [7:47]
“Most big transformations come about from the tiny, almost imperceptible, steps that we take along the way.” [9:49]
“People act a certain way because they have to keep you at a distance so that you can’t see their pain.” [43:16]
FOLLOW LORI:
Website: lorigottlieb.com
TED Talk: ted.com/speakers/lori_gottlieb
Podcast: lorigottlieb.com/podcast
Column: theatlantic.com/projects/dear-therapist
Twitter: LoriGottlieb1
Facebook: GottliebLori
Instagram: lorigottlieb_author

[@kenhoover1639]

"You can not move on to a better future if you are holding on to the hope of a better past." Profound!

[@azucarweber2456]

I hear her say: do not prescribe meds to someone before you find out they living with ASS*** les… I quit my anti depressants ( very slow) I divorced the Ass**le that was depriving my mental sanity.. Lori you saved my family ( my lovely kids and me) ❤️

[@LifeNavigation]

“At some point in our lives, we have to let go of the fantasy of creating a better past” - Lori Gottileb

[@robertharison1945]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iaOukHWhaa5lqNE 1

[@RyanFila]

Past is strictly factual 🙏🏽 We can never change it, we just have to learn to deal with it. Live your comment!

[@michelleantolik6912]

So very true💜

[@kellycalvert3941]

Very well said!!

[@RyanFila]

@@michelleantolik6912 You got it! ❤️

[@cthornton523]

Best Lori Gottlieb interview. "We marry our unfinished business." Shazaam.

[@POSITIVEMILLIONAIRE]

Whoever is reading this may you attract good health,wealth, abundance and prosperity in their life

[@chantellmoody828]

And you as well 🌺

[@adamarmstrong9408]

You too 😀

[@naomifox2893]

The most profound, self-compassion mantra is the powerful Hawaiian prayer: I love you, I am sorry, forgive me, I, thank you! @antdemario

[@bageshwaradhamanubhavreact12]

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[@MovieMagicFrame]

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[@LulaS]

I love her explanation about excuses we all tend to come up with. Many don't even realize they constantly find excuses to avoid doing what's necessary. Excuses are one of the natural mechanisms our brain has to protect us from danger, from taking risks. Excuses are natural mental brakes. We MUST take risks. So, to fulfill our dreams, we must train ourselves NOT to give in to excuses, NOT to become a hostage of our own head. ❤💪👍

[@robertharison1945]

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[@RyanFila]

Who ever reads this please know: You have so much potential inside you. You are beautiful and strong. Have a wonderful day ❤️. Much love!🙏🏽

[@bluejay5531]

Have a wonderful day Ryan and same to you!

[@RyanFila]

@@bluejay5531 thank you! 😊 ❤️

[@pujabatalvi6437]

Thank you Ryan!! ❤️

[@RyanFila]

@@pujabatalvi6437 you’re welcome ❤️ 😊

[@Marimbalala]

💕😊💕

[@WisdomBytes]

Conversation looks so effortless that the whole episode passes by, without realizing the time gone by. Subtle and intuitively informative.😇🙏

[@Corrans]

I love it when Tom gets intrigued and leans forward and says "Go on...."

[@SearchingLives]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/rXS0lYaMbLiSpc0

[@koroglurustem1722]

She is very wise and nuanced. I love how she is breaking things down for Tom. I see that Tom is learning a lot from her. Her book is a must read for me. From her examples I already can see so many parallels with the people in her book.

[@bageshwaradhamanubhavreact12]

motivation :kzbin.info/www/bejne/qZqmk5isqNOApq8

[@seamusdebuitleir20]

Tanx Lori and Tom. Life is not about finding yourself,it about reinventing yourself.🤝💚🔑🙏🏻

[@SearchingLives]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/rXS0lYaMbLiSpc0

[@dianas1324]

OMG! This has easily become one of my favorite interviews on impact theory! Lori's answers are so amazing and the explanations so articulate and Tom's questions are perfect, exactly to the point, exactly about what I would want to know. Wow...

[@SearchingLives]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/rXS0lYaMbLiSpc0

[@stories-of-elle]

In my opinion loving and accepting yourself is the key ✨

[@Luther_Luffeigh]

But what if you’re a lazy and unproductive person

[@robertharison1945]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iaOukHWhaa5lqNE

[@edgarguzman8888]

@@Luther_Luffeigh best form of self love is discipline

[@stories-of-elle]

@@Luther_Luffeigh I used to be lazy too and for me it stemmed from believing that i didn’t deserve the things that i wanted, which subconsciously made me lazy and not even try.

[@Luther_Luffeigh]

@@edgarguzman8888 true that

[@zonadaworks]

That part about self-compassion REALLY hits home with me. I've been facing this part of my programming head-on for almost two years, and I feel every time I have an Ah HA! moment through meditations or self-dialogues, I'm bombarded with either a memory of someone close to me making me feel ashamed and unworthy or the "inner voice" trying to sneak back into my thoughts. Been following Impact Theory for most of those two years, really grateful for KZbin algorithms #hastags!, and I've learned how to identify when my brain is telling me lies vs. manifesting solutions. You HAVE to do the work. You can't just watch these things as entertainment. Don't dive into the work trying to gain CONTROL, but rather, dive into the work with the FAITH that there is a better experience awaiting you at the other end.

[@antdemario]

The most profound, self-compassion mantra is the powerful Hawaiian prayer: I love you, I am sorry, forgive me, I, thank you! @antdemario

[@aayushr.s4670]

Called as honoponno

[@tompatterson6626]

Irish prayer: May those who love us, love us; And for those who don't love us, May God turn their hearts; And if He doesn't turn their hearts, May He turn their ankles, So we will know them by their limping.

[@bageshwaradhamanubhavreact12]

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[@MovieMagicFrame]

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[@bageshwaradhamanubhavreact12]

search: kzbin.info/www/bejne/inmzZpiwZdSimc0

[@Connectingthedots.]

Amazing video. Thank you for creating this ❤ Self love and self compassion is the ultimate lesson. The deeper we love ourselves, the deeper we are able to love others, quiet our mind and see things from new perspectives. 🙏🏼

[@bageshwaradhamanubhavreact12]

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[@michelleantolik6912]

This was a great interview. As a person who was cheated on in a 13 yr. marriage...forgiveness does not mean I trust you. We are to forgive as God is merciful and forgives us. When you don't forgive you let bitterness take root and that just hurts you. My ex could care less if I forgive him or not, but I have told him and feel free to move on and know his negative behavior has no hold on me.

[@anti-apathycampaign1941]

Thank you so much Tom. Thank you for this platform and your passion to help others!

[@mishahudson873]

Lori's knowledge is AMAZING!!!

[@foop145]

What a brilliant person. I wish she had her own podcast or KZbin channel. I want more!!

[@jollycolours]

She mentioned that she has a podcast with another therapist, its called Dear Therapist. Imma go search for it 😊

[@SotoTube]

Tom Bilyeu, I love the way you interview; you really bring out the best in your guests and your audience so the message is clear for all. You facilitate so well and keep the speaker on point and the audience engaged. And the topics so pertinent to "today." This one - - really good! This speaker rocks! So intelligent.

[@SearchingLives]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/rXS0lYaMbLiSpc0

[@dianaescobar1402]

Great episode, Lori is so clear in her comments and I love when Tom is so implicated in the conversation. I can’t wait to read the book!

[@bageshwaradhamanubhavreact12]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/pF7dhYqiiLdoj9k

[@Faro1]

Amazing interview, extremely accurate and very relevant. Great job Tom and completes to your guest.

[@VincentFulco]

Tom-- This was one of your best and most genuine. great back and forth between the both of you. Kudos!

[@latypic954]

Minute 32 : apologies absolutely key for me because it shows awareness and willingness to grow. No apologies means (in my mind) no awareness thus no certainty it's not gonna happen again

[@kollegekarol]

Phenomenal! So validating and empowering

[@SamMartinPeakPerformance]

solid stuff as ever. SO true that both people often feel the same thing e.g. unheard. Whilst s lot of the time this is miscommunication it's also just so many people are way too self-absorbed

[@keithboyer3908]

I started reminiscing today about the journey which has led thus far. I asked myself, what was the turning point in my life? The answer popped into my mind so effortlessly and quickly that I suspected brainwashing on my end. Baseless thought, just a habit to question everything. The moment I discovered Tom Bilyeu, and for the record, that is much easier to remember than Impact Theory for me. I'm not sure why. I came here today to tell you that I seriously, like I'm dying of water and searching for it, miss watching your episodes of Impact Theory while you're sitting on stage with 1 other person. It adds a type of flare, or novelty to the scene. It makes it much more memorable. I've followed you for years, but the only memories I can remember from your show were of life lessons I learned whilst you were in that setting. I always noticed that the most profound details, the biggest takeaways... you'd react the most subconsciously. Your reactions to speakers, is what gauged the importance scale in my mind subconsciously. When one is in unfamiliar ground, they seek those of the same species to learn how to react at a subconscious level. Your leaning forward while the camera angel was at this specific section. Maybe your head cocks a certain way. Maybe we notice your toe starts to fidget as your impatiently waiting to wordvomit your new revelations that you happen to be sifting through. The subconscious indicators is really one of the most powerful ways to capture an audience. I may have theorized this, but I've never found evidence suggesting otherwise, even whilst actively searching. Because I've followed you for so long, I'm familiar with the recent getup due to covid lockdowns. I'm here to say that... I'm not sure what's different, yet. However I don't remember any specific lines or speakers names you've had on your show since this new transition. My best guess would be the direct face on camera angle takes away the most experience. Only seeing half your body takes away a big chunk. You could presume that it could be because I'm not focusing as much on your channel, and that'd be an accurate assessment, but I'd beg to differ because I've never needed to re-watch one of your shows unless I wanted someone else to absorb the information. It's like as soon as a new paradigm is introduced into my psyche, I dissect it until I no longer remember how it was prior. So I'm pretty confident in my ability to absorb information. Maybe something to do with the environment. There's something off, and I noticed today I miss your shows. Came to share that.*But* I had to stay for the new ideology! :)

[@LauraDreams]

Thank you for this interview, Tom! Very powerful stuff, our minds. Change your mindset and change your reality. ✌️💜

[@bageshwaradhamanubhavreact12]

motivation :kzbin.info/www/bejne/qZqmk5isqNOApq8

[@rockstar8838]

I read this book at the beginning of the year and I've recommended it to everyone I love. It really is moving in a weird way. Also, Lori is a brilliant writer. So yay for that.

[@bageshwaradhamanubhavreact12]

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[@SearchingLives]

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[@lilamnbdh967]

That was so interesting , thank you so much Tom , you’re the best! God bless you 🙏

[@bageshwaradhamanubhavreact12]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/pF7dhYqiiLdoj9k

[@happyJy1]

I am having a lot of trouble getting shit done. Laziness is so hard to fix I kept trying but at the same time I hate myself.

[@patmebg3794]

Me too

[@valvrj]

Start taking baby steps and focus on one goal at a time.

[@koroglurustem1722]

Same here. Let's take self compassion message more seriously and become wiser at handling ourselves.

[@GroundbreakGames]

Try breaking any goal down to single tasks. The least amount of effort you would need to technically move forward. Then do that when you catch yourself motivated to do it and let the momentum build. Don't be hard on yourself if you don't but give yourself praise when you do.

[@edinstantphysio]

Motivation follows action. Don’t wait until you feel inspired. Start and then you’ll get the motivation after

[@DanielL143]

We are not robots, incapable of change. We can evolve. We can rewrite the narrative. It begins with awareness and transforms into a calm state of mind, which enables a balanced viewpoint and the power of choice, here and now, in the present. Eventually, following this path, we achieve a kind of freedom as we accept our true nature and destiny. Zen teaches awareness and calm. Stoicism teaches us to either accept or change. Taoism teaches us to allow our energies to flow. Existentialism teaches us about freedom and the terrible responsibility that comes with self determination. Most of us prefer excuses for failure and therefore refuse to change because those excuses enable us to avoid the truths in life. Many elements of the philosophical teachings of the East and the West can be found in Lori's work which pulls it all together and applies it to the modern human condition and especially to the greatest challenges in our lives; 1-Loving ourselves 2-Loving life 3 - Loving others. Life is really all about understanding the True meaning of love (which is not at all what you might think at first). IMO, its about a journey towards an unfolding (not forced) relationship between our selves and the rest of the world, that eventually if we are lucky leads to a rich experience of joy. Its a delicate thing indeed. Most of us only taste of this joy briefly and dimly, some miss the boat altogether; life does not come with a guarantee or a promise of happiness. Most of us experience suffering of some sort. There are no benevolent gods that are going to right the wrongs. But perhaps we can free ourselves of some of this suffering, through higher and higher planes of awareness. This is the starting point of Buddhism (I have an affinity for secular Buddhism if you need a label for it). Zen teaches not to be attached to these labels either. You have to see 'it' and let it come to you (you cannot Make it happen or 'achieve' it). It cannot be accomplished so much as it can be received. I think its a bit like a gift, right in front of our faces that we cannot see. It is mostly, letting go of not only our personal but just as important, letting go of our cultural narratives. Just look at where we are headed on this planet. Everyone is shoving their culture, flags, tattoos, pronouns and other labels in everyone else's' face instead of just being silent, looking where we are going, listening and then shifting our perspectives and energies in a better direction. Joy eludes us because we live in a culture of divisiveness, aggression, empowerment, me first, I'm special, management by objectives, increasing our net worth, global domination, the rat race, pride, profit and progress.. All irrational and self destructive illusions. Our psychological health as individuals is in part a reflection of and a product of our cultural values. Our culture is very sick, so it shouldn't be surprising that we are sick. You can't have it both ways. Thanks Lori and Tom.

[@breezinoz]

This upload is pure *GOLD* 🤗

[@user-cl6uj5bn2f]

What she says about forgiveness hit me hard. She hits the nail on the head.

[@david.walters]

Before you listen to this; I wanted to tell you, that you are beautiful and exceptional. Also your a phenomenal human being; I love you and I hope more positive experiences will start happening in your life, if they haven't already. Keep moving forward my friend; start adopting positive and beneficial habits & behaviors. Eat healthy and treat yourself with kindness, in addition to others also. Fair well my friend; God Bless you 💖

[@robertharison1945]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iaOukHWhaa5lqNE

[@saratonnan]

What a great interview.

[@karolinaurbaniak8524]

Practical, educational and valuable 👌 Thanks Tom!

[@KillaKam922]

Amazing interview!

[@ReWriteTheRulebook]

Another transformational episode as always! Would love to see Jay Abraham on the show Tom! I think he could bring insane value and impact to the audience inside and outside of a business context

[@KhoiNguyens]

thanks for the good work and sharing another gem. ⚡

[@wellnesspsychotherapist]

Wonderful! I agree men and women struggle in life, we are all trying the best we can. Her book is amazing, lots of stories that we all relate to. Therapy is so helpful a great way to begin is by reading her book!

[@bageshwaradhamanubhavreact12]

search: kzbin.info/www/bejne/inmzZpiwZdSimc0

[@jo8301]

Amazing Lori!

[@IAmSam_TheMan]

Outstanding interview and very, very insightful!

[@bageshwaradhamanubhavreact12]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/pF7dhYqiiLdoj9k

[@ekongkarkaur5117]

Thank you both

[@blisswkc3344]

Thank y'all so much dearest 🌹 Y'all such an inspiration 🥰 Appreciate y'all from the bottom of my heart 💖 Be Blissful Eternally 🙏👼🌈

[@lollercopterz100]

Thank you for the help

[@rushi9154]

Thankyou so much!

[@TerryRajsombath]

Just finished Lori's book. What a powerful book! Poignant, insightful and all around a fantastic read. Thanks for introducing us to Lori's work, Tom.

[@bageshwaradhamanubhavreact12]

search: kzbin.info/www/bejne/inmzZpiwZdSimc0

[@RozzaMindset]

Great conversation!Very useful information!Thank you for sharing !

[@SearchingLives]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/rXS0lYaMbLiSpc0

[@11jacqueline11]

Just bought her audiobook, stoked to listen to it! Thanks Tom!

[@SearchingLives]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/rXS0lYaMbLiSpc0

[@olesiaoriginal2510]

Such a useful video. Saving it and rewatching later. Understanding how changes happen and that it is a process makes it easier to be patient with the change.

[@victoriaholden7774]

Your comment spoke to me, change is a journey and an ongoing process. I always want to get over that process but I know I can't! One day at a time!

[@SearchingLives]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/rXS0lYaMbLiSpc0

[@juliandebortoli3726]

I loved listening to this. So insightful. Very helpful 👍

[@SearchingLives]

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[@SpiritLives]

Thank you for this!

[@SearchingLives]

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[@nosihlegumede8373]

Tom,Thank you for always inviting All these amazing people to the show.I definatly benefited alot from this interview. Keep up the good work. If possible please invite Dr Brené Brown one day.Thanks

[@bageshwaradhamanubhavreact12]

motivation :kzbin.info/www/bejne/qZqmk5isqNOApq8

[@olmo47]

I hear you, I have being in this marriage for 49 years of lies and disloyalty, that I think is so overwhelming, to forget and not to think on that ugly affairs, just hurt my brain. Sound so good when you say it, but I fell fight a Goliath like problems, it seem so ideal to be able to apply, that formula, and is very hard to do it alone, if I bring a topic up, I get beat emotionally (like you said) the person I live with keeps blame for the other to have the affairs.....ugh!

[@bettinazwerdling9158]

Choice: vote with your feet or decide to shift your inner focus (and after doing so, either stay and/or eventually go, if you so choose. To recover our agency, autonomy, our decision-making and responsibility for our lives, I guess.) To move beyond the 'stuck' places. This is your life, and it will be your/all of our individual deaths! Time is one certainty about our living and dying. Other people and relationships outside ourselves can and do make a central difference, and yet ultimately, it is our own inner orientation, so to speak, that we can a) be most blind about or b) actually do the most about. And growing conscious and what our focus is matters. It is our own mind and hearts that are ours to attend, compassionately and with commitment, added (adult) consciousness, and care -- or not. Pragmatics in circumstances (like money and ability to be safe, functional, and OK also play into it; this much is also true, but the inner work is actually primary to our becoming 'unstuck' (beyond the focus of pain and frustration dominating) -- psychologically AND pragmatically, and with specificity, in the time we have. I am very sorry to hear about your dilemma and stuck feeling of deep hurt, fear, numbness, or lack of 'self-agency' - having what is tolerable and more of what you want. Something(s) and thoughts or feelings have 'kept you' there, and learning how to love and care your/our Self/selves (better) is the path forrward. Fear and lack of self-compassion can keep us frozen - repeating thoughts, scaring but familiar emotions, more confirmations of traumas we are not fully enough aware of to 'make the essential inner transformation --and changes that can follow. The problem can actually become a kind of 'raft' out -- and into a new relationships....starting with a new relationship to Self/inner selves (terms used in IFS therapy - Internal Family Systems - founded by Richard Schwartz; see other youtubes.) There is a lot about what can be driving all this in what gets called 'the adaptive unconscious' (a term used in Hakomi therapy) , and a growing awareness of the hidden filters and 'beliefs' that we look through - often formed by our early trauma and things we are not very conscious of. Somatic Therapy modalities like IFS (Internal Family Systems) or Hakomi or Somatic Experiencing can help you grow more conscious, or 'uncover' those 'implicit' beliefs and expectations (from early traumas, etc) that keeps us repeating, stuck, waiting for others to change and abandoning our agency and acceptance around 'what is'...and how we can consciously 'care' for ourselves differently. We all look through 'the filter(s)' of deep beliefs/expectations of what is normal and what we have to 'accept'. Our self-image becomes habitual and essentially 'unconscious' or disassociated often. Stories, including telling our own stories in therapy can be evocative and liberating, but ultimately one cannot be (verbally) 'conscious' of what one is not conscious of! New approaches to the effects of trauma and the assumptions and habits that come out of it, and new knowledge about the 'adaptive nature and capacities of our human brain in development or affected by trauma -- are leading to new healing modalities, making transformations more possible. And as it is also acknowledged these days in psychotherapy that 'The Body Keeps the Score,' which is the name of a 'breakthough' book (Bessel van der Kolk) about SOMATIC psychotherapy -- and new paths towards wholeness/locating courage & insight/new self-regard and new relationships -- through these new healing modalities to 'getting unstuck'. There is growing interest/positive results in psychedelics - in careful contexts with informed and compassionate therapeutic settings, and how they can help some people with long term 'stuckness', depression, and beyond inner patterns involved. . Very best wishes to you.

[@corlisscrabtree3647]

Thank you

[@jmac1813]

Really enjoyed this interview. Quality again. Downloading the book on Audible

[@bageshwaradhamanubhavreact12]

search: kzbin.info/www/bejne/inmzZpiwZdSimc0

[@SearchingLives]

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[@inthso362]

I've been thinking about this- and it's basically for my use, on how I think about this, but I'm not using hacks for anything. Just the implication that something is a shortcut, a get-whatever-quick scheme, because that is the sort of mindset that I'm trying to avoid. The instant gratification mindset, instead of the, "Yeah, this is going to be hard and time-consuming, but it's worth it, and I'll figure the best, most efficient way as I go along." Not that I'm against anyone calling their method a hack, and not that I won't use it, but I think it's a little contradictory for me to want to find an easier, softer way to getting tougher, and be willing to do hard things. Again, not trying to convince anyone here how to think about these things, but I have to think about them in the way that makes them most relevant to me.

[@SearchingLives]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/rXS0lYaMbLiSpc0

[@joshb1072]

Wow pure value!

[@robertharison1945]

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[@benjaminrobertson3114]

Thank god for this channel 🙌

[@robertharison1945]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iaOukHWhaa5lqNE 1

[@alanchu1980]

I am mind blown. Thank you.

[@SearchingLives]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/rXS0lYaMbLiSpc0

[@amandamcdowell]

Enjoyed reading her book!

[@futurestrader101]

I must get this book. Wow. Earth moving

[@prokurbah1308]

Good Things Come To Those Who Believe, better things Come to those who are patient And The best things come to those who don't give up.

[@robertharison1945]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iaOukHWhaa5lqNE

[@saraw7038]

Thank you Tom, throwing in the stoicism descriptor.

[@bageshwaradhamanubhavreact12]

motivation :kzbin.info/www/bejne/qZqmk5isqNOApq8

[@jaxx-inspiregrowcreate2862]

The choices we make on a daily baizes are what shape our lives. Choose wisely my friends

[@robertharison1945]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iaOukHWhaa5lqNE

[@MindNow]

Nice to see u here again brother

[@jaxx-inspiregrowcreate2862]

@@MindNow haha! Likewise brother

[@RONNYMORRISMUSIC]

Truly interesting and inspiring

[@R.A.A.1980]

This is incredible

[@vin_lulz]

Wow cool can't wait to check out her podcast. Another great episode💯 Always listen when I'm donating plasma😆🤪

[@allcalmsoothing9443]

Great Lessons

[@ronniecreed6023]

Tom is such an amazingly cool dude!

[@bageshwaradhamanubhavreact12]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/pF7dhYqiiLdoj9k

[@creatingreality291]

Tom Bilyeu is doing what Tim Ferriss thinks he's doing lol Love your interviews ❤

[@SearchingLives]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/rXS0lYaMbLiSpc0

[@audreysegura8933]

Fantastic interview ! Got so much out of it !

[@bageshwaradhamanubhavreact12]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/pF7dhYqiiLdoj9k

[@konstantinospavlakis929]

Hi Tom and thanx for one more amazing episode. Did you ever reveal publicly those 25 beliefs that you are talking about?Im really curious to hear.

[@SukayahRamli]

Wow, one of the best videos you made.

[@SearchingLives]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/rXS0lYaMbLiSpc0

[@JoeKawano]

Tom rocks out the Great Empty Circle (over the belly) shirt from Zen, which is a symbolic idea about where all your power is: living just in the moment (a symbol of energy located in the stomach). And she is wesring the circle necklace too! ..."And they don't even realize they're wearing it."

[@dailydoseofmedicinee]

Choose happiness with words. Get uncomfortable and try new things. Help someone in a way only you can

[@robertharison1945]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iaOukHWhaa5lqNE

[@SearchingLives]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/rXS0lYaMbLiSpc0

[@lashawn369]

Checking in from the DMV

[@growthobsession8781]

Change your mind, change your life!

[@robertharison1945]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iaOukHWhaa5lqNE

[@solp0325]

I loved the book and love her sooo much 😍😍😍😍😍

[@taheemtownsend1003]

Which book are they talking about I didn’t catch it

[@solp0325]

@@taheemtownsend1003 “Maybe you should talk to someone” by her Lori Gottlieb

[@greenweave3882]

Tom Bilyeau- a song that reminds me of your message called "Kingdom" by Twelve Foot Ninja. If you haven't heard it I hope you listen to it. I think you will love it. Thank you for all you've done for people.

[@bageshwaradhamanubhavreact12]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/pF7dhYqiiLdoj9k

[@janespitfire9884]

I am stuck cause others treat me crappy. I think cause my outside looks weak(body and cute face) people treat me shabby. It seems everyone does. So trying to change my outer shell to be sterner ,but more aloof and not as friendly.

[@ladylynschannel]

3:35 we are borned with a certain temperament BUT there are so much room for change people kinda feel like this just how it is this is just how the way i am… NO You are actually making choices In everyday daily life Everyday of every moment we make our choices

[@MMJJBB]

I usually leave this talks running in the background while I work, I had to pay full attention to this one. Great work 🇦🇺💪

[@kjarneson655]

Love this talk! When she got to her description of forgiveness tho...I found myself yelling at the screen “so to speak”. Forgiveness is NOT giving the person a “get out of jail free card”! I have learned forgiveness in very hard ways...especially with an abusive dad, and then a sex-addict husband (who I am with 29 years now). I would describe forgiveness as more of a choice to cut the strings that keep you bound to the hurt and victim-hood with that person who hurt you. You can still be connected to them in old or even new ways...but In some aspects, maybe in all...you have a new separation and freedom from them than you did before your choice to forgive. It is not a one time event, it is an announcement, a choice to let go of the bondage to/with the person that hurt you... over and over and Over again when you get re-triggered...because it is a path of you choosing to be free of the wound and the pain. It is not giving up your right to discuss your pain, to process it, or your right to have strict boundaries with that person. It is simply letting that person be free of their “bondservant” type connection to you because of their shame and regret..it is to delete their “IOU” bill. It is choosing yourself to acknowledge that a wounded, imperfect person hurt you, and then choosing yourself to grow and learn from it instead of stuffing or holding onto the pain, which is-in my opinion...what we are really doing when we hold onto “unforgiveness”. We are still waiting for validation and assistance in our healing from the one we can’t forgive. In regards to the point about men finally opening up and getting vulnerable... They are so right that it is often hard for women to accept too much, and hard for men to really go there! Tears are one thing...but emotions...especially tears mixed with other emotions (especially with anger for me with an abusive dad)...was a hard and necessary breakthrough for me and my husband. I realized I can hardly handle any emotion in my husband because I “take it on” and want to make things better fast...so my tendency is to shut him down, run away and/or take things personally. He, onthe other hand...went through a stage of feeling week and broken when emotions would come up . Allowing him (hubs) to feel deeply and share with vulnerability was super touchy for us but a huge turning point. We are learning new dance steps...an this unfamiliar funky dance is becoming comfortable and even fun- and it’s so much better.

[@koroglurustem1722]

So much respect for sharing all that hard earned wisdom with us. So much respect for all of your work you did on yourself in connection with your dad and husband. God bless you all. I am also working on myself, trying to graduate, finding a partner and so on. Please pray for me, thanks

[@kjarneson655]

@@koroglurustem1722 thank you! I believe in prayer too..I just prayed over you!

[@deemanweller2266]

I need this book. There are things in my life I need to change but afraid. I'm stuck and been stuck for years

[@SearchingLives]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/rXS0lYaMbLiSpc0

[@vyleart4488]

If you enjoyed her book (which I did) I strongly recommend Irvin Yalom's books. He was one of the precursors in that style.

[@bageshwaradhamanubhavreact12]

search: kzbin.info/www/bejne/inmzZpiwZdSimc0

[@Bousilicious]

I love Tom

[@rhondachristensen8619]

Always having a situation to overcome, physical, emotional or financial, I've always listened to coaches like Joyce Meyer, using scriptures to overcome things in life; my biggest was learning to walk again, after a bad car accident of 2006, and " looking for that ideal man "..he doesn't exist !! Barbie doll fairy tales we grow up on, with Ken driving Barbie in a car, and him holding the door open, maybe fine, until the mask slips....

[@cairomilano6049]

Amazing . I need to go to therapy.

[@MovieMagicFrame]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/kHrEnIZ6bNl6ns0

[@SotoTube]

😆 lol! I as well!

[@marinasmith7601]

Hey dear Tom bilyeu Thnxx so much for all your help and good information about are health & life may god bless you always, I love to if you invite 1 - dr Eric berg he is the keto (guru) and 2 - Paulo coelho is most 3- Mr Dan Lok for sure @tomBilyeu #Impacttheory

[@valvrj]

Start believing in yourself and speak gentle to you cause in the end the only person that will stay forever it's YOU.

[@leonlouiswalker]

WoOo hOo! I'm Liker No 23 ;-) Thank you, Lori Gottlieb and Impact Theory for such a POWERFUL share!

[@robertharison1945]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iaOukHWhaa5lqNE

[@SearchingLives]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/rXS0lYaMbLiSpc0

[@esthernobasi1368]

‘...People’s behaviour speaks the unspoken words’

[@maryloueppard425]

When birds fly over don't let them stop and build a nest. Can't have a feeling without a thought. Choose to your change thoughts, concomitantly your feelings will change.

[@migi7787]

Lovely🙂

[@juvandi]

Tom, what software do you use for the interview calls? Is it zoom, skype, something else? And, what camera are you using? In general, it would help a lot of people if you could share about your setup, recording process, editing, the software, etc. Thanks in advance.

[@ashleytaylor994]

I want to know too

[@bageshwaradhamanubhavreact12]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/pF7dhYqiiLdoj9k

[@pjk7685]

Can you go over adult sibling rivalry twins, favoritism of one child etc.

[@charliechase7390]

Whoever reads this; Put yourself 1st and really love yourself unconditionally 🤍

[@richard217]

we do realise this voice is there...we do...!!!!