The "Best" of Tumblr

[@Decay.Constant]

That sponsor is so in character yet so outta pocket

[@FR0571C]

Ikr

[@twinfantasytowers]

6 seconds into the video, my guess is that it’s that one edible sponsor chat I will update if im wrong edit: goddamnit

[@imdoingthisnowreally]

​@@twinfantasytowers buddy is in for a shock

[@p-__]

My farts are better than Kwite’s farts 💨

[@Boi_Fluff]

​​@twinfantasytowers you see the sponsor yet? Edit: lmao that response

[@MusiciansRule07]

Once you make a Tumblr account, it's like checking in to the Hotel California because you can never leave. Even if you delete your blog/become inactive, the sense of humor infects you for life. I've been on there since 2009 and I'm still active, mainly as a color blog but I still have my fandoms and I'm still a big fish in a couple of them because of the sheer amount of fanfiction I wrote for them, LMAO! Plus, PM Seymour's channel will keep the spirit of Tumblr alive forever.

[@Idkpleasejustletmechangeit]

Just made one less than a month ago. Tumblr somehow managed to make me follow the concept of the Pokémon Wurmple.

[@p-__]

My farts are better than Kwite’s farts 💨

[@devilbowser253]

Dont forget bettina levi

[@jacob99503]

.I have never been on Tumblr but I was infected through osmosis. I also resister as a false positive on GayDar.

[@early_riser4776]

PM Seymour mention!!

[@Silentanmaly]

was not excpeting a lovesence ad but here we are

[@p-__]

My farts are better than Kwite’s farts 💨

[@asveses5730]

​@@p-__ But are they louder?

[@ratoh1710]

Not the first time. Last time he invited us to an orgy too

[@Ambipie]

I was expecting a weed ad

[@StarryPuppeteer]

​@@AmbipieIm trying to think of a weed smoking girlfriends joke but its 5am and i cant think

[@benenwren4110]

The concept of a curated tumblr subreddit is so funny bc curating posts is like the main thing you do on tumblr

[@p-__]

My farts are better than Kwite’s farts 💨

[@Otherversian]

Contrary to popular belief, that's actually not what the "curated" in "curatedtumblr" means. It just means they have actually functional moderation tools and don't just let repost bots run rampant on their subreddit like the original r/tumblr

[@mimisezlol]

Edited for accuracy It actually exists because of some issue with the moderation of the original subreddit. I think it had to do with the mod team and... I think it was just bad moderation of the actual posts, like too many reposts.

[@hamishfox]

Did you guys know that the J.D. in J.D. Vance stands for Jorkin Depenits?

[@ambergirl986]

Sobbing and shaking

[@sagoot]

Sad but true

[@24shineon]

It’s actually Jorkin Dolphins, a common misconception

[@UwUOnDatBeat1101]

Jance Dance

[@4thalt]

James David

[@theblackunicorn261]

I've been on Tumblr since 2011, and it hasn't let go of me yet. Your sense of humour is pretty much infected for life. My best achievement on this hellsite yet is being part of the group that bullied Alex Jones off this hellsite

[@murasakidrummer]

Thank you for your work Soldier 🫡

[@p-__]

My farts are better than Kwite’s farts 💨

[@TakitoRi_]

Kiana pfp moment

[@conspiracypanda1200]

The best I have is being a small part of 🐜🍑, but now I feel like I pale in comparison to you and your glory

[@kaydwessie296]

I left and came back so yeah true

[@industrialsizedweeb4186]

i was not expecting that sponser

[@p-__]

My farts are better than Kwite’s farts 💨

[@BeegOof-t7z]

Honestly, it was a matter of time

[@0gar485]

At 6:51 Kwite misread the text “at the hospital” as “at hospital” and didn’t bother to reread it before accusing them of British.

[@p-__]

My farts are better than Kwite’s farts 💨

[@firelordoregano5632]

he reread it and remained wrong, which is funnier

[@KeitieKalopsia]

I think “hours” is the main British part

[@mizeounao]

What a horrible thing to accuse someone of, that doctor is brazilian!

[@Shnoidz]

tumblr levels of reading comprehension.

[@nebulaxe1]

6:29 in one of the purge movies its implied that the rate of murder is artificially increased by the project leaders to make it seem more effective in reducing crime

[@p-__]

My farts are better than Kwite’s farts 💨

[@nebulaxe1]

@@p-__ why would you say this to someone

[@saucevc8353]

I think in one of the Purge prequel movies, the first Purge fails because people just use it to do really minor crimes. So the evil government secretly hires a bunch of mercenaries to kill all the poor people instead. So the thing about the Purge overestimating the amount of violent criminals is actually baked into the setting.

[@berdansargol1577]

Yeah, in The First Purge, they also hired a scientist to observe the effects of Purge, and she correctly pointed out the suspicious surge in murder after the Neonazis the government hired to kill people came in. So the government dropped her right into those Neonazis' lap and hired another scientist to fabricate results

[@DistressedNotBlessed]

I could sense kwite dropped without the notification, he's got to my head

[@p-__]

My farts are better than Kwite’s farts 💨

[@v1rzen]

Telepathic push notifications go crazy

[@tygical]

aboringdystopia

[@emilussy]

I work at a sex shop so when the lovense ad came up I was okay normal and then I had to do a double take cause it Was A Lovense Ad By Kwite lmaooo

[@p-__]

My farts are better than Kwite’s farts 💨

[@SirMaximus919]

can you imagine chucking at none pizza with left beef and then living though the death of humanity and resurrecting a chunk of it and becoming a god figure to the new society you create and then 10,000 years later referencing it in conversation to a horribly traumatized teenager who has no possible frame of reference for this ancient meme that no one else alive has ever heard of

[@himynameismax7516]

on behalf of all tumblrinas, thank you for visiting our enclosure

[@vexywexypoo]

When i tried using AO3 for the first time, the search system confused the shit out of me and I just gave up and went back to wattpad. Came back 2 years later and finally figured it out. I rarely use wattpad anymore except for publishing.

[@Xfrtrex]

how did you figure it out please tell me

[@feralnightwing]

@@Xfrtrex what part of it confuses you /genq

[@Xfrtrex]

@@feralnightwing i can never find what i want. like if i include a tag for a character its only there because the character says something once or something

[@juliakauffman3639]

​@Xfrtrex that's fair, i think some ao3 authors erroneously tag characters that they only include once or twice for more traffic but I think that kinda sucks of them. I don't do that and I think others shouldn't either. Usually authors will tag the main characters of their fic first and the other characters later, so if you want a fic of a specific character or pairing check how close they are to the top of the tags and that should let you know better whether they are a main character in the fic. Sometimes to get around the problem I exclude popular ships or characters so I don't get fics about those characters but this may also end up excluding stories where those popular characters and pairings are in the background. It can be a difficult problem and I definitely feel your pain.

[@feralnightwing]

@@Xfrtrex mmm. i know what you're talking abt. unfortunately that's a problem we all have lol. most of the time there _are_ [character]-centric tags, but it does exclude a bunch of fics that don't use that tag. i'll be honest, sometimes i just find a good fic that's centered around the character then go to the author's works. if they have bookmarks, that's even better. but if you're just rawdogging the tagging system, you'll have to learn how to include and exclude tags certain tags to get what you really want. it does take a bit to figure out, tho. my suggestion is like what i said before: find a fic that you really like and look through the author's works (and if they have it, bookmarks). best way to start is to arrange the fics according to the number of kudos, since that puts popular fics in the fandom up top. once you see one that suits your tastes, do the author and bookmark thing. 9/10 times you'll find even more fics like it in the bookmarks. i've recently started looking through the bookmarks on the fic itself, but that's only bc i've consumed so much fanfic that i've read almost everything lmao. still a viable option tho!

[@chumbucketworker83]

i love you kwite please dont explode on december 14th at 5:56 pm.

[@IAmOneAnt]

get back to work

[@mach.in.a]

12:18 the sheer horror mixed with inhuman excitement when i realized i have read this book. in fact, i have read this entire book series. the locked tomb by tamsyn muir. all the things mentioned in the post are explicitly canon btw.

[@TheParadoxGamer1]

Ive been hearing how good TLT is but this may have finally won me over

[@p-__]

My farts are better than Kwite’s farts 💨

[@shadowgirl_10]

Holy fuck I might be completely wrong in this but tumblr user thermodynamic-comedian, my good mutual, is that you?

[@fredranzalot4849]

@@TheParadoxGamer1 It's 250% worth it. I'm feral for that shit.

[@TheParadoxGamer1]

@ 🫡 on it then

[@unsealedglint7808]

What the hell is that sponsor

[@user-jo2gx9du1g]

auto jerker

[@inamillionfandoms]

hi mugman

[@Waffles-ketchup]

People who say they didn't expect that advertisement don't remember the kwite orgy ad

[@ambergirl986]

i remember and yet i was still traumatized

[@sharksrcool22222]

the kwite what

[@_.z33._]

@@sharksrcool22222you heard them

[@Kwiitchi]

Yo Which video?

[@freedomballs69]

It is my new life mission to find an exploit in that thing.

[@asveses5730]

I hate myself because I have a tumblr account. I love being a tumblrina and hate it at the same time- also, love your shoelaces! I really hope you didn't steal them... right?

[@Cow-Moth-With-A-CRT-Head]

Nah, I stole them from the President.

[@mimisezlol]

Totally stole them from the president. You can never leave

[@2DnMe]

get down mister president

[@applekoi8639]

0:22 kwite those look like dead accounts from like 2017 ofc they use doge speak

[@RorysHappyHouse]

Great video! Unfortunately I am doomed by the narrative and must die.

[@maikamaikamaikamaika]

For anyone wondering, yes, that last post is indeed a reference to a real book in the Locked Tomb series. Specifically Harrow The Ninth, I believe. Great series. It has everything you could dream of: lesbians sword-fighting in space plus necromancy. Good stuff

[@user-bo6vy5eg8g]

honestly my first assumption seeing that post was it was a homestuck reference

[@vexilanimous]

@@user-bo6vy5eg8g iirc the author was a pretty prominent homestuck fic writer before becoming a full fledged author of published books, and trust me, it is like a fungus in your brain that effects you forever man. and at that point everything you write will inevitably have at least some random homestuck references whether you're doing it on purpose or not

[@fredranzalot4849]

@@user-bo6vy5eg8g You are more correct than you might think.

[@canadianlucifer8446]

5:16 kwite I am sorry to tell you that that discourse is still very much active. It's died down, but there are definitely still a few people arguing aspec people are not queer unfortunately

[@NarlepoaxIII]

Hold thy tongue, Zoomer. Such-Justice-Wow has been using that handle since it was a hot and fresh meme. You were a mere child when she donned that moniker. Do not dare to profane it.

[@BetaJackMaxis]

Ah, grandfathered in.

[@alekzomer]

Ay fok uyo i aint shuttin me mouf

[@lilaculots]

something something would you call a bear brave for standing in a suburb when its habitat has been bulldozed around it

[@bakedgoldfish45]

"hold thy tongue zoomer" we think we shakespeare now 💀💀💀

[@user-burner]

​@@bakedgoldfish45yes

[@rudebega1494]

11:42 locked tomb reference spotted, that is a canon thing that happens in these absolutely incredible and very gay books, please read them

[@luvkirby4ever]

YESSS THANK YOU. Everyone please read the Locked Tomb series!!

[@xenothyst]

Guys, hes been sponsored by them before. He co-ran an orgy event on it 😭

[@merobiba413]

fr, i'm surprised so many people in tho comments don't know about that

[@AlyxTheProtogen]

There was an orgy event??????????? How can I learn about future orgy events?

[@idioticle3816]

Whenever one of my favorite creators upload it makes me happy not just because im a fan of them but because i get assured theyre not dead

[@jennadiahkino]

I've only had tumblr for a couple of weeks, and my feed varies from deep talks of the symbolism of many films that tell a lot about today's issues in the world... to fanart of Sonadow drawn by talented artists.

[@GoobyGoblin]

I downloaded Tumblr, posted about me getting a 20 dollar game for less than 2, then promptly never used the app again.

[@himynameismax7516]

you should come back. join us :)

[@ZackShark1]

I stopped using it because the comments are all Russian bots

[@unchartedraider7547]

Heyyy friend, we would want you baaack

[@burghley3044]

j o i n u s

[@YourWaywardDestiny]

There are only two reasons people dip from Tumblr, engagement being ass and your feed being dead. Both of those problems are easy to solve by following people and allowing yourself to be deranged and uncensored with your posts. You can't be a social media pillow princess there. You have to actually use it.

[@arbitrarySalamander]

Would love a video going over Pukicho’s posts, god those are some bangers

[@NailoSalise]

Dude I’m so criminally early 17 seconds is actually crazy 😭😭😭😭😭

[@ZackShark1]

Hmmm 32 minutes ago, comment is 31 minutes ago, something ain't right

[@adonysus]

Does that board say lovense? Is this gonna be a lovense ad?

[@adonysus]

The board did say lovense. It was a lovense ad.

[@littlesunflower6464]

i havnt heard the words "none pizza with left beef" in ages,,i feel old.

[@Sakura_floofy]

“11 minutes ago” damn… I’m really chronically online

[@coal9205]

Now your comment says 11 minutes ago! I'm 11 minutes late to a comment that was 11 minutes late to a video

[@TineaMothLord]

Your reply was 11 minutes ago for me!

[@RepMetal]

I was so caught off guard by that ad spot. I didn't skip it just to be sure of what Kwite was trying to sell me.

[@rase6080]

I was not expecting a Lovense ad on a tumblr video of all places, but i guess it was a possibility

[@moresnqp]

1:50 yall wont believe me but ssamjung (Korean spice paste) grilled cheese or ESPECIALLY Mac n Cheese SLAPS so hard. its incredible. ur welcome.

[@nedhunter4444]

5:40 I believe that, if we're talking about bisexuality in an evolutionary context, it literally dates back to the dawn of sexual reproduction. The first organisms capable of sexual reproduction would not have been able to identify the sex of other members of their species, and thus would mate indiscriminately (of course it's really a lot more complicated than this).

[@LGhost-wo8hf]

it is the most tumblr thing to have a very clear and obvious reference to the magnus archives and kwite's reaction is just 'yeah normal experience for a tumblr user'

[@crystallineAurora]

For the death note post, the reason it's talking about morals is that you aren't guilty of murder for the first name you write into a Death Note, because you have no reason to believe that writing a name will kill someone until it actually works.

[@Localcatgirl_]

I LITERALLY JUST STARTED WATCHING YOUR VIDEO

[@p-__]

My farts are better than Kwite’s farts 💨

[@Localcatgirl_]

@ nice

[@devinq4605]

​@@p-__You are incredibly dedicated to this spam lol.

[@Marpai14]

the only read-someone-else's post/watch something and react youtuber I really fw

[@kaallie08]

the bisexuality thing was phrased so stupidly. the actual history behind the relationship between lesbian and bisexual labels is that for a while bisexual women used the words bisexual and lesbian on themselves interchangeably, but lesbian separatists were like "you can't have our word because you like men ewwwwww", separatists did not INVENT bisexuality 😭 -someone who studies queer history

[@idioticle3816]

I just woke up from a dream of you and mickey mouse doing unspeakable things and that made me check your channel and get jumpscared by a new video

[@ashxolotl175]

i'm sorry you had a dream about what now

[@lepokebloc4198]

*0:33 Kwite said "online stigma" and I just went "Erm ... what the stigma?" Am I cooked 💀

[@rizgriz3956]

Yes

[@firelordoregano5632]

yeah

[@murasakidrummer]

We have to put you down, sorry man

[@CourierCat-2]

deepfried

[@Child69]

You’re too far gone, sorry

[@BlurryMango666]

Thankfully I, BlurryMango, will hopefully never end up having a post end up on "curated" "tumblr" as despite how often I post to my tumblr, all of my posts are certified not good.

[@rowanweaver3241]

hm nice pfp

[@BlurryMango666]

@@rowanweaver3241 Ah a fellow man of culture I see.

[@kaydwessie296]

Then I should be following you lol my posts alsp flop

[@BlurryMango666]

@@kaydwessie296 Follow me, I dare you.

[@elainad6728]

0:08 Such-justice-wow?! It them!

[@HarlowBrent]

My favorite hellsite, and my favorite youtuber I’m eating GOOD tonight

[@cherenkov_blue]

Oh hey, I was around when this sub was founded! There was so much banter back in the day, it was great. Real ogs remember jokeefunny and the minecraft server

[@BetaJackMaxis]

The term Minecraft server now activates the fight or flight response.

[@TinyShinyUnique]

I stopped scrolling Tumblr to watch this.

[@Forcommentingpurposes]

The thing about tumblr humor is that it follows a formula and is very predictable. The only problem is that every Tumblr user is deranged and whatever they have cookin for a response will be something you didn’t even know you had to brace for Needless to say, I will be checking BACK into the Hotel California soon

[@mariofrog5838]

first kwite video i’ve watched in a while it better be good or im coming for u kwite

[@TineaMothLord]

*pulls out microphone* "Excuse me sir, what did you think of the video?"

[@mariofrog5838]

@ good video might come for him if next one not good want to join ?

[@null9014]

9:30 Well I mean, it's kind of just "If you don't eat citrus you get scurvy", I was at serious risk of scurvy (among other things), and I've never even _been_ on a boat! I'm just really lame.

[@dee_is_tired]

4:35 MAGNUS ARCHIVES REFERENCE LET'S GOOOOOO

[@violetfern1427]

YEAH

[@samsquatch7880]

9:11 Same, but it was when Sonic 2 came out and it was for KNUCKLES cause he don’t CHUCKLE

[@sneakyjones8949]

Bro i did not expect a lovense ad on KZbin today

[@so_much_for_jj]

Any other folks whose only exposure to Tumblr posts has been through people reposting them to Pinterest because your parents wouldn’t let you get any social medias besides Pinterest? I’m so excited to make a tumblr once I turn 18 💀

[@Rubberduckie3000]

I looked at so much gay ship art on Pinterest when I was a teen lol.

[@felixisfruity]

I love living on the edge knowing that my post could end up in one of these videos (I‘ve seen it reposted to 3 different social medias HELP)

[@problematicllama9623]

Absolutely delicious video my good floating hoodie , chef's kiss

[@Siegh..]

Tumbler is truly an interesting place

[@daanhuisman1040]

7:16 I honestly find it pretty funny that there's a Dora the Explorer wiki. People are really putting the "lore" in "explorer" there

[@BlockyBro]

your edging me with these uploads man

[@velcrooo891]

11:46 that post is a reference to a wonderful book series called the locked tomb but i can see how deranged it sounds out of context

[@inamillionfandoms]

Watching a Sonic show just for Shadow to be on screen is so real tho.

[@chillermiller3565]

i think you misinterpreted the death note comment, theyre not saying practically youd get away with it, but if someone who believes in objective morality and is not a pure consequentialist ie believes an actors intentions matter significantly, they could not hold you morally culpable for the first kill because there is no reason to believe that writing someones name into a book that says death note on it would actually kill them, however legally you could argue the death note user could be charged with manslaughter if they genuinely wanted the person to die even if they didnt think the death note would work

[@crimsonsolaris2140]

I had never heard of this sponsor before and I genuinely thought this was a joke

[@murlocmaster6192]

Im from the future and i can confirm i still dont know what lottery is gonna win. Things are far more complicated than u know

[@Elio-x3]

The time tumblr got popular because of text to speech reading the same pukicho post 100 times over was the worst time of my life as a real native tumblr user

[@eleanorbarnea5029]

AHHH THE LAST POST IS A REFERENCE TO THE LOCKED TOMB LETS GOOOOOO

[@eridanampora3024]

As someone who has been on tumblr since 2018, this is only scratching the surface of the sites delusions 😂

[@sandrasierra3560]

Make a guide to it . Post I wanna see !! Last time I was there it was so boring

[@s.higgins4974]

the last one is based off of the locked tomb trilogy I'm pretty sure (my sibling read it, not me tho)

[@PuurksYT]

lovense ad is genuinely insane but i already own their products :/

[@Ryu1ify]

Only 5,000 views in 30 minutes? Nice work king

[@cyanide_cirby]

i saw mention of the hellsite and immediately felt such fear and anticipation

[@cryptid176]

9:15 that's so incredibly real honestly.

[@gabrielaj82]

yooo i just saw that ao3 post in the wild the other day, glad it is getting seen by more eyes lol

[@Saw_blade_bat]

Babe wake up, new kwite video dropped. (totally me except babe is a delusion created by me as a way to cope with the fatal crash)

[@Black_jesse]

Hi!!!!!!!!!😊

[@mikitoburrito]

hi black jessee

[@XenoMew]

Hi :3

[@ambergirl986]

JEESSSEEE!!! :D we love you at r/MinecraftStoryMode

[@zenburt2512]

3:58 bro what would this guy even be doing with the decontamination suit and a vr headset

[@PistachaBear_]

do not recite the ancient texts to me, witch. i was there when it was written

[@RareBowser]

You are the only person in my life that I've seen sponsored by Lovesense

[@disambodyedhand8778]

Loving everyones shoelaces

[@o5-7firefox]

4:36 Jonathan sims bullshit "Supplemental. I am in the tunnels. I was exploring and I got lost."

[@kargrub2939]

knowing the episode to shadow the hedgehog screentime ratio in that exact sonic show is exactly the unexpected information that i needed today, thank you my fellow shadow loving comrade 🤝

[@FunkyPsycho]

1:50 holy crap, this has changed me for the rest of my life

[@Fuzzf]

I swear lovense has sponsored every KZbinr I watch They know

[@oripoke4396]

That last text post is, in fact, a reference to the Locked Tomb book series! Specifically the second book, Harrow the Ninth. It’s a great series if you like good writing and twisty, genre-defying sci-fi mysteries, but also if you’re internet poisoned like me then it opens up an entire new dimension of enjoyment, somehow without detracting from the drama or suspense. HIGHLY recommend.

[@HelmsmanButterscotch_OwO]

thank you for giving me something to cheer me up

[@grayventras1235]

The final post also being a reference to my favorite book is what makes its inclusion here all the more wild.

[@Alyssa-sn5dv]

This made me remember a video I watched where Trumblr made Tumblr and Twitter into humans, shipped them, and then compared it to fucking Greek mythology. Also, wtf was that ad?

[@cs82271]

Just finished a vacation where my parents brought themselves along and they couldn't stop complaining about the "damn liberals" all over Utah and Arizona. Even when politics physically couldn't be applied to the situation

[@nathantotten2074]

Loved yesterday's stream

[@Suprcharged_Toastroven]

5:29 Jabroni Mike’s invented bisexuality confirmed (if you’re seeing this not long after this upload, go root for Kwite on Mike’s game show tonight!! Stream starts 5 pm eastern iirc, we gotta be there for our oshi or whatever that word is )?

[@katarinadreams6955]

Loving the K.K. Bossa background music

[@MantledMimi]

I was not expecting that sponsor… I tuned it out when he was talking about it. I clicked the link in the desc out of curiosity. And uh… I was not prepared…

[@dvr1382]

We're waiting every night To finally roam and invite Newcomers to play with us For many years we've been all alone We're forced to be still and play The same songs we've known since that day An imposter took our life away Now we're stuck here to decay Please let us get in Don't lock us away We're not like what you're thinking We're poor little souls Who have lost all control And we're forced here to take that role We've been all alone Stuck in our little zone Since 1987 Join us, be our friend Or just be stuck and defend After all you only got Five nights at Freddy's Is this where you want to be? I just don't get it Why do you want to stay? Five nights at Freddy's Is this where you want to be? I just don't get it Why do you want to stay? Five nights at Freddy's, oh We're really quite surprised We get to see you another night You should have looked for another job You should have said to this place goodbye It's like there's so much more Maybe you've been in this place before We remember a face like yours You seem acquainted with those doors Please let us get in Don't lock us away We're not like what you're thinking We're poor little souls Who have lost all control And we're forced here to take that role We've been all alone Stuck in our little zone Since 1987 Join us, be our friend Or just be stuck and defend After all you only got Five nights at Freddy's Is this where you want to be? I just don't get it Why do you want to stay Five nights at Freddy's? Is this where you want to be? I just don't get it Why do you want to stay? Five nights at Freddy's, oh

[@ishipitlikefedex2610]

The reason why that one death note post is debating the morals of it is because (at least according to ryuk) anyone who writes a name in it even once is immediately cursed and never go to either heaven or hell. There's a somewhat popular theory that people who use death notes turn into shinigami when they die. That person is arguing that the first time shouldn't get you cursed, it should be a freebie, bc there's no way anyone would expect it to actually work, making an accident - less murder and moreso manslaughter.

[@RonanDahlman-ci1ql]

In other news, today’s my birthday.

[@divineyetinpain]

It’s funny how you found these on a subreddit considering Tumblr and Reddit used to be mortal enemies. Very fun deep dive to go down, I remember it like it was yesterday.