r/AmiTheA**Hole AITA STORIES EP 5 | r/AmiTheA**Hole Top Posts of All Time

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[@andrewkent650]

My cat understood English when she wanted to. I told her once "if you're hungry or want attention when I'm in bed asleep, jump on me and claw f$*k out of my chest" and she did. Smart kitty.

[@veronicavatter6436]

I hate hate hate, the people that keep saying that when the guy dies his wife will get everything anyway. If he has a will....no she won't. That's how wills work!!!

[@marurei143]

Exactlyyyy. unless anything in the will is marital property or actually owned by the wife

[@kristinewatson3702]

Yes. If the spouse isn't on the ownership papers for house, vehicles etc it's a real hassle to get that property transferred. My dad made that assumption despite years of me begging him to just make a simple will. Thankfully my mom was on all these legal deeds, titles, etc so it wasn't too bad. After he died I waited a bit then I took her in to get a simple will put together. They both literally brushed me off for years and said oh you kids will just split it evenly. Oh REALLY? Let's talk about probate!?! My brother is a narcissist, an addict, and has a hoarding problem and they were gonna leave me with zero paperwork to execute their 50/50 wishes. Face in palm. It was bad enough with the will after my mom passed. I just miss my parents now but I wish they could have thought this shit through to make things easier for me because they KNEW it was gonna be a disaster and I would be the one to deal with it. Ultimately I was and I did the work to make sure there was a will involved for my mom.

[@Yandipetal]

Ikr…. So stupid 🙄🤦🏾‍♀️

[@mywingsareyours]

I mean I think they mean most ppl leave everything to their spouse per how the will is laid out because those are shared assets and one owner is still alive. You can totally split them up, a lot of ppl just don't. They leave in rules for if their partner is or isn't alive or what's to happen after their partner dies

[@TheZombifiedFairy]

Cat story: NTA... but the commenter who attacked the OP, are you dense? In what world is YANKING and MANHANDLING a kitten okay? It is NEVER okay. And it is not a way to bond with them. I have an 18 lb rescue and I've NEVER done this

[@nabbitabbott6161]

Exactly. I've been reading through the thread for this comment and yeesh, they are missing the point that the girlfriend kept insisting on invading the cat's space and ignoring their tells of "leave me alone." Yeah, it's not abusive, but the issue here is that she's not letting the cat be independent and explore, but rather forcing them to interact with her when they obviously don't want to. That's very stressful on any animal. Yes cats are fickle and assholes, but they become affectionate on their own terms when you give them time. She's not willing to be patient and she would have been the cause of why the cat stays in one room and doesn't come out.

[@TheZombifiedFairy]

@@nabbitabbott6161 my fat arse rescue came home 24 lbs at 3 years old. When I got him, I literally had to pour him out of his carrier and he hid under my futon in the guest room. I just put food and water in its designated area and went about my day. Next thing I know, in about 3 days, he's in my lap looking for cuddles and talking profusely. We're 3 years in, 6 lbs lighter and the big guy hasn't looked back. Adopting any living being means acknowledging that they will not instantly warm up to you. You have to be okay with that. This girl definitely didn't need a special needs animal, definitely not a kitten, and probably should have started off with a cat who had a temperament of being more affectionate and "needy", one more forgiving of "first timer" mistakes

[@nabbitabbott6161]

@@TheZombifiedFairy this. All of this! Always go for an older cat unless you have had experience and are ready to try and care for a younger one. You are absolutely right

[@TheZombifiedFairy]

@@nabbitabbott6161 and no high energy breeds or high energy breed mixes unless you have the time and lifestyle

[@justanothergalaxy8379]

The commenter asked why the op is an expert on the cat, but forgot that the cat loved him and not the gf

[@faeryb0mb]

the "cat fosterer" who commented is talking out of their ass. the cat clearly does not want to be around her to the point of HIDING AND ONLY COMING OUT TO EAT. even with a shy cat this isn't normal.

[@paulineisme]

That guy is like "I have experience so listen to me" and a few moments later "OP you don't know shit, you only have experience"

[@momochan8920]

@@paulineisme for real. As someone whose also fostered cats I can say their take was shit. It made me so angry.

[@recklessrex]

@@momochan8920 Omg yes, I was furious with that comment. I swear some people on reddit just don't know how to read

[@duanesamuelson2256]

Depends on the cat. I've had cats who hid for several months (feral admittedly). Without knowing the cat you have no idea what's normal for the cat or not.

[@katieb.1184]

yeah.... that whole comment gave me the WORST vibes. Like, yeah, cats like different things, but a cat completely avoiding someone is a good sign they're doing something wrong. I just had to say goodbye to a shy girl in December... it was very, VERY obvious when she was shy and when someone scared or upset her.

[@TheZombifiedFairy]

The college story: So... punish one child because the other messed up? That's a load of BS.

[@douglasluiz2225]

Exactly i would resent tremendously the dumb sis.

[@avantikamathur2859]

@@douglasluiz2225 is this the first story?

[@douglasluiz2225]

@@avantikamathur2859 tep

[@dream6562]

No, one is well off and the other needs help, why shouldn't someone making a will making sure that a child struggling gets well taken care of

[@douglasluiz2225]

@@dream6562 freaking communist

[@ceridwen04]

"It's my money, I decide"... The decision has consequences... Surprised Pikachu face

[@natekolodziejski]

As a person with Asperger's and autism, I'd be offended if I lost, and the event organisers harassed the winners, begging them to give me part of the winnings. What some people may not realize is that in my experience we need to be able to accept failure in order to be able to basically function in society as as normal of a person as we can. Sure it can provoke an episode, but learning to accept failure in the end will help prevent future episodes. That is, as long as we're getting proper help for our issues which is hard since doctors like to push things like risperidone which will make you hear voices among other things.

[@Draggonny]

Good point well made. We can't expect people with learning difficulties to grow into well balanced adults by treating them in a way that turns neurotypocals into entitled adults. If we need to treat someone differently because of a condition, it should be in way that has been shown to actually help them with their difficulties. How can anyone navigate the world when we change all the rules depending on if we know they have autism or not? That's gotta be confusing as all heck.

[@wordforger]

I work with autistic kids, and so much this. Part of my job every day is teaching social skills, coping strategies, and INDEPENDENCE. The end goal for every one of my children is for them to be functional adults who are able to handle all the curveballs life will throw at them. I am there to offer enough scaffolding and support so that eventually they reach a place where they don't need me anymore. Sadly, a lot of folks seem to think that they need to do everything for a child with some sort of disability or neurodivergence; When they do that, they are actually DISABLING the child. How is a child supposed to learn to anything in this life if they never get the opportunity? The child loses a contest? This is a great time to teach her that not everything in life is guaranteed but she can still take pride in herself because she did her best effort. Just giving her stuff for being neurodivergent? That teaches that she's a pitiable creature who will just get stuff for showing up. Is that REALLY the lesson we want to go for here? A lot of people don't think about this when they do stuff like that. They think they're being nice... but autistic kids aren't stupid, just different. If they're supposed to function in this society, they need to be able to handle the same setbacks as everyone else.

[@RiverWoods111]

@@Draggonny You should do some research because the fact is that unless an autistic child is born with other things like intellectual disabilities they are at the top of the intellectual quotient (IQ). The top .15% to be exact with ADHDers and other Neurodivergent human beings. You see we learn the opposite of NT/neurotypicals, and because as we are learning we are hyper-focussing we are burning much deeper neuropathways. This actually makes NTs the learning disabled because you can't focus on one thing for very long, and you forget what you learned within 3 months. I mean, you have an average IQ, but just average and you can't do what we as ASDs can do. We also are the only group of employees that have a productivity rate at work of 141% of what you can produce, so better workers. The biggest corporations are spending millions to hire us, onboard us, retain, and promote us, and that is because we are literally the most innovative, creative, and amazing problem solvers. Seriously, AUTISM isn't a disability it is a brain type, and it is literally the other normal, but because of the lack of ability to actually study anything, and better understand it, we are pathologized and discriminated against which is the only reason we are disabled. Give us another 50 years and the tides will have gone out and the NTs will be seen as the weak link in society because of their inability to innovate, create, and problem-solve and their lack of focus. Then you throw in, that autistic people don't bullshit, say exactly what they mean, and mean what they say... We don't do small talk because small talk is based on useless talk and small lies. Maybe you should do more research and stop with the stereotypes. Oh and we communicate just fine amongst ourselves, it is you that is the problem. Your comment is ableist/bigoted and offensive!

[@Draggonny]

@RiverWoods111 Aw, bless. You think I'm neurotypical. 😊

[@rsmith6425]

The salt and pepper story: my ex-boss (a chef) used to tell us it is rude to salt and pepper your food before you taste it but after you taste it you can alter to your own personal tastes.

[@duanesamuelson2256]

That was told to me since I was probably 4 or 5. My father was basically you made it inedible so you can just eat later (a bit of personal responsibility there).

[@katwiltz1134]

Because it's ignorant to Salt and Pepper anything that you haven't tasted yet it's ignorant

[@Raveneye67]

I absolutely HATE when people add salt/pepper without tasting a dish first. It doesn’t bother me if it’s added afterwards. It just irks me if it’s done without even a taste.

[@kristinewatson3702]

I'm so sick of parents ASSUMING that their children will be able to fund their college with sports. This doesn't always work out. It can all literally go out the window over night because of an injury or health concerns. It happens ALL the time. If you have the income to plan ahead then you plan ahead for all your children assuming those scholarships don't exist. They can lose that money because of injury at any time during their entire 4 years.

[@ravager0292]

I had a friend who was married and then his wife sprung that she was a casual drug taker and never told him, a few days later he moved out and was getting a divorce

[@kitcat8308]

For the addict story, I'd like to add that drug addiction can be a symptom of mental health issues, not just a cause. The idea that drugs are the only cause of mental illness in previous addicts or users on general, can be harmful.

[@D-me-dream-smp]

Well said- it is extremely common for people to try and “self medicate” undiagnosed or untreated mental health issues with all manner of harmful substances/behaviours.

[@shersmk90]

The first one: yta def! Why punishing the bro’s for doing well...and coursing drama for the ones that get left behind. Also where is the wife? And why planning the will on how the situation is now instead of over 20 years?

[@TheZombifiedFairy]

It's not a punishment. Its an acknowledgement that they are more well off than their sister who could make better use of the money. How selfish do you have to be to feel entitled to your parent's money and to only think of yourself?

[@jameson1239]

TheZombifiedFairy by the time OP kicks the bucket they will be in there mid 40s and early 30s if she doesn’t have a plan to pay off her loans buy that point there’s a bigger problem

[@TheZombifiedFairy]

@@jameson1239 we don't know why he'll die and not everyone has debt paid off by their 30s. It really depends on the career path chosen and the amount of debt accrued. No matter, he perceived her need as dire enough that he should worry about it and all the sons could think about is "but what about me. So what I have a good paying job and live comfortably. I need MORE money", which is still disgustingly selfish in my view

[@wombat4583]

What I wonder is why do they have half a million saved up and yet the daughter (and possibly previously the sons) are struggling to afford staying in school.

[@shersmk90]

@@wombat4583 this! parents aren't done supporting their children when the children are 18+ that is lunatic, selfish and weird. When still at school u can't work fulltime jobs and you get paid less then adults. Also the dad should have saved for his kids so they could study without worries.

[@undeadladybug7723]

I have an Asperger's diagnosis myself, and I can tell you my family would feel the same way Jessica's did about the forced "prize". Those moronic event organizers and anyone else who gave OP and his wife grief are the worst type of hypocrites out there.

[@elfrancesca698]

I’d be so pissed if someone made someone split money with me just because I’m autistic.

[@imsleepy6211]

I would be pissed. What, I’m not capable of winning on my own so I need pity money? OP probably worked on that sauce for a long, long time - that is years of work. She will win one day, on her OWN merit - not out of pity.

[@scepticalhyenas5750]

53:35 _"she told me to grow up and not even an hour later I get a call from my dad asking why I have so much hate for my 'sister'"_ Okay I'm really glad things turned out well for op here but oh my god, the sister really went _"stop being childish _*_or I'm telling dad"_*

[@susansimon8310]

I think cats know what you want, but since when has a cat EVER taken orders!

[@sharonblevins3281]

I know right!

[@angeldark404]

Ours take the order to "get back to the house!" Pretty well, tbh. But these kitties have been trained since they were 6 weeks old.

[@Joirish-rm7jk]

It's entertaining to see "you may be a good cat owner but not an expert" from another person who is the exact same.

[@cutelilkitten96]

Cat story... In my household my cats actually tell me what to do and how to do it. The fact this man thought he could tell a cat how to be is C R A Z Y ! My furry little monsters probably would have given me up for adoption if it was any other way in our home, though😂 they're the bosses and they know it full well lmao

[@Draggonny]

When he was saying about giving orders to the cat my immediate thought was "take the cat back and suggest he gets a dog". I know there are some cats that are pretty obedient and enjoy a good game of fetch but expecting any rescue animal to follow orders from day 1 is ridiculous.

[@kavertia6261]

Oh my god the first story. He’s right about one thing only: it’s his decision where the money and assets go. If he’s managed to save up that much and isn’t planning on spending it all now, what has EVER stopped him from paying for his children’s (yes, all three of them) education up till now? He’s justifying his decision by the fact that his youngest is still in college, but is at the same time doing nothing to help her (I assume, since she’s “getting by on a waitress job”). The cognitive dissonance is real here. He knows his decision is bad and is justifying his favoritism any way he can.

[@SH-qs7ee]

Good on OP for reinforcing the idea that hard work and success should be punished. Of course the youngest sister deserves all of it, hell, she should quit studying full stop, get some minimum wage job and never move out of her parents home, just to make sure she deserves it all.

[@cannibalculture4499]

About Nelson's story, I've said this since I started working with the homeless cat population in my area, but cats choose you. Period. We have 2 boys that started out as young homeless boys and are now our shadows. Oscar took to my husband more and Snagus Maximus took to me more, though they both love us dearly and we them. Snagus took me weeks to get close enough to touch him, but the second I ran my hand down his back, he just melted into the ground. I picked him up and he laid back in my arms like a baby and gently placed his paw on my cheek before rubbing his face on mine. I learned later that he was basically claiming me as his in that moment. They are the sweetest boys that ever lived, and I hate the thought of what would've happened to them had we not moved where and when we did. I continue to help the homeless population here find loving furever homes. I'm up to finding homes for 9 cats if you count my 2 boys. And I wouldn't trade a second of it. 💖

[@wordforger]

The thing with cats is this: Respect boundaries. Let them come to you. If they are shy and scared, don't get closer. Give them space. Look away. Do something else. Eventually they'll feel comfortable enough to investigate.

[@blackwidow9420]

The recovering addict story: my dad's family split an inheritance. They had money put into a trust for the 2 siblings that had addiction issues. Had restrictions to withdrawal allowed amounts.

[@jaiengore2908]

My parents left their assets to be spilt 3 ways upon their deaths. I was supposed to have gotten the house, but my brother's sold it without my permission. They did what they wanted, not what our parents wanted. I have to remind myself (almost daily) that karma will bite them in the a$$ better than any revenge I could ever do.

[@arkbennet8299]

Isnt that theft?

[@jaiengore2908]

@@arkbennet8299 not according to the state of Alabama.

[@kbf9644]

Stepsister hasn’t changed. Her response was to insult him, to tell him to “grow up”. And then she calls Daddy to tattle. 🙄

[@Cosmiccrying]

the dude who thought his cat could understand him genuinely makes me giggle, my two older cats don't understand most commands but my kitten will give me little forehead kisses when i say "kiss kiss?" and he has conversations with me, I think its because i got him when he was WAY to young and always talk with him so he copies me.

[@pixiewixiechu]

For the pasta sauce story: I HATE HATE HATE the way people use disabled people as props for how good of people they are. They wouldn't even have wanted his to hand over the money if the news wasn't there. They wanted to use that little girls emotions as a prop. Disgusting.

[@bobcatred]

The addict that’s being cut out of their parents’ wills: I feel like it’s understandable to be upset because they feel like they’re being told they’re not worthy. I think. The parents, if they wanted to split the inheritance evenly between the children but wanted to prevent OP from abusing the money, could set up a trust for OP and designate a trustee that would have to approve the use of the money. It might be the safest option for OP even if they can maintain sobriety for a longer length of time.

[@D-me-dream-smp]

His reaction is definitely understandable, especially considering drug usage is often linked with existing low self esteem issues so any perceived rejection is likely to be felt intensely. That said part of growing and developing healthy coping mechanisms is learning how to process and manage these negative emotions by realistically evaluating if your reaction to the situation was rational and then communicating how you feel. In the end you still have to realise that you have to accept their decision and understand you only have control over how you respond to a situation.

[@marie34K]

Cats do absolutely what they want and most of the time that makes us laugh .But even the most stubborn or standoffish cat is such a comforting friend that we love them 😊

[@riceracm]

Hey Markee, you know what would be a really cool feature for these super long compilation videos (if it’s not too much trouble)? Like in the description if you put the time stamps for the beginning of each new story...that way, if we want to go back and listen to a specific story again, we can more easily find it. If it would be super difficult, don’t worry about it, but it would be great. 🙏💖

[@ZombieSazza]

Bro if the community tried forcing a couple to give some of their winnings to me, purely for being disabled, I’d be insulted, it shows they only view my disability and don’t see me as a person, it’s not fair at all, it shows they feel bad for me… like, what?!

[@Roedygr]

BABYING: You are not doing your brother a favour if you do his homework for him. Years from now his school and workplace will assume those capabilities and assign him a task that requires them. He will fall flat on his face, and possibly get fired. You made him waste his entire education, He did not earn anything.

[@medchan5810]

For the salt and pepper story: I feel like everyone is forgetting that HOW LONG you've known someone plays a factor into things. From the start of the story, it sounds like they've known each other for years. In that case, the friend/ex would already know the taste of OP's cooking fairly well if this is a common occurrence. In regards to my family, I know that I like things a lot saltier than they do. It's habit to grab the salt shaker and give a very small shake, taste, and continue to season if need be. I honestly don't know if I do the same at restaurants or not. It's not about being rude or not; I happen to like really salty food and I happen to KNOW that what I consider a good level of saltiness would be unpalatable for most people. In fact, it makes it really hard for me personally to cook for others. I have to purposely under season my food, to try to match the taste of most people. If you fall outside the norm of taste range, liking say things that are more seasoned or under seasoned, it can be a lot harder to eat food because you often have to eat things not to your tastes. I'm a heathen and don't care about appearance 90% of the time but for others, it can be very hard to admit that they don't like the food the way it's currently seasoned. There's a lot of social pressure still that you have to be extra polite and say you like the food, even if you didn't. Him being willing to season the food without much thought could actually be a show of trust between friends. Or maybe he's a heathen like me, too, doesn't give a fuck. Who knows?

[@Draggonny]

I'm the other end of the scale. My mum stopped adding salt to food when my elder sister was weaning so I grew up with pretty bland food from birth. My mum is also mildly allergic to chilli so didn't get accustomed to any kind of spiciness. I've adapted as I've grown up but I still hate black pepper and won't eat something with a peppery flavour like rocket. It's pretty easy to add flavours to food but it's a tough life when even an undressed salad can be too spicy for you. 😆 Thanks for thinking of us blandies when you cook.

[@Frazzled_Chameleon]

I laughed so hard when stepsister was like “But we were so close when we were kids!” I was like…in what delusional word do YOU live in? Bwahaha! Nelson’s owner CLEARLY does not know how cats work. LOLOL. Expecting a cat to LISTEN to you. What a preposterous idea! HAHAHA.

[@CocoCece08]

Kitty story - Awwwww... I'm so happy Nelson has a good home! Hope he gets lots of tuna and kitty food and loves!

[@zacharydobbins6267]

Yeah I can relate to the cooking competition story, I have Asperger’s and won second in a store based magic the gathering competition, and the winner was a pro player that let me have the winnings. But not because of my Aspergers, but because I made it that far for my very first try at a ternement and giving him a challenge, that felt more gratifying than pity. You should always give a justified reason for any prize

[@brightonbabe2139]

I think it is safe to say that Nelson adopted his human.

[@MsLaughingRabbit]

Okay for the first one: I'm very happy I live in a country where each biological child is entitled to a percentage of the inheritance regardless of the parent's feelings about it. In this example, OP's decision to give nothing to his older children was a horrible move, definitely the cause of a future rift between the older siblings and the youngest. Even worse, the older children had done nothing bad for OP to make the decision, and it seems to stem entirely from some serious favouritism.

[@Suelorie]

The will-yes you are TA-sounds more like daddy favoring daughter vs sons

[@Airin1823]

why doesn't he just film the cats behavior. a person seeing the effect they have on something first hand could be invaluable

[@misfit1395]

Sounded like she wouldn't have cared anyway. Too stubborn

[@paden1865able]

Molly sounds like Elmyra from Tiny Tunes and the poor cat should be put beyond her reach. Break up and she either leaves or you take the cat and get the hell out. P.S Some cats see the carrier as a safe place away from asshole humans.

[@katieb.1184]

that mom/stepmom gift: omg. that is beautiful that the stepmom even made a way for the mom to not be blamed.

[@hannahchristine5240]

Step sister story: I don’t talk to my sister. She was incredibly cruel to me growing up and my final straw was her saying she’s glad my beloved pet died in a horrible way and that it’s better than being my pet. That was three years ago when we were both adults and I will continue to not speak with her. If someone is willing to abuse you for so long, they won’t change and it’s best for your own mental health to avoid exposing yourself to people who treat you poorly.

[@kittykat65]

5 year anniversary story if the situation was reversed and it was the man blowing off the anniversay date with his wife and she took he BIL out & gave him the gift everyone would be saying good in her

[@anthonygilmour6236]

But you are using logic and common sense. At least OP won't have to worry about the 10 year anniversary.... except to celebrate his divorce. 🤔

[@martinrusev3502]

Workaholic wife story - NTA. Next time, she'll learn that her work is not more important than her marriage.

[@misfit1395]

Even if my cat did understand me, he'd ignore me anyway...

[@anneargo-davies692]

I am so proud of you for being honest with your boyfriend! The truth no matter how hard is always better than trying to keep up a lie. Stay sober, do whatever it takes. Keep doing therapy and go to meetings, it doesn't work if you don't go. It would be good to take boyfriend with you so he can see where you go, and get him involved in supporting your sobriety. Much love.

[@Can_think_of_a_name]

How is it a lie though? People are allowed their own past

[@DarkestFIameMaster]

​@@Can_think_of_a_nameit'd lying by omission.

[@TonyA-gx1ts]

I want to send this message to the person who laughed at the guy with the cat situation. There should be another category of am I the a****** and that is should I have been the a******. And in that case you definitely should have been the a******. Because anybody who thinks a cat is going to take orders even if they do freaking understand you is out of their darn Minds

[@mameeocean6194]

The guy who needs salt.. She asked if he’d do it to Gordon Ramsey’s.. I can’t even envision S/P on GR’s tables. If there was, I totally envision GR smacking him right square in the chops the instant he used them before tasting! 😆

[@mysterylovescompany2657]

Pasta sauce OP: don't feel bad about not sharing your prize, not a single 1 of my friends at any point of the spectrum say they'd want the pity gesture. More specifically, they say _they don't need it_ , & that they'd find it creepy + embarrassing. Your community are more focused on virtue performance + narcissistic display than actual respect. NTA.

[@mysterylovescompany2657]

P.S. Who TF garnishes a full third of a payment + doesn't expect the recipient to notice? That poor family, you're just as much the victims as you. How humiliating. I'm so angry.

[@tegantalks9612]

The story at 10:00 hit home for me. My boyfriend is a former cocaine addict but has been clean for awhile now. He was also in a super toxic and mutually abusive relationship while he was heavily addicted. He was honest with me about his past when we started dating and told me he understood if I wanted to walk away. I told him I trusted him and we have a fairly stable relationship with 3 kids. I think OP would be an asshole if they don’t disclose the past soon. It’s better to be upfront and honest then have them find out another way. I would have been so hurt and questioned if I could trust my partner if he had tried to hide that part of himself from me.

[@Draggonny]

It probably would have destroyed the relationship one way or another if he hadn't told his partner about his past. Even if the partner didn't find out from other sources, can you imagine spending years of your life hiding something that big and wondering if they really love you or just the lie you've made yourself out to be? That doubt would eat him alive. Thanks goodness he asked for help and took the good advice. It saved him from making a huge mistake.

[@ashleydanielle4042]

The cat story: I've had MANY animals in my life, and I can confidently say to rehome the trash, abusive girlfriend and keep the sweet cat. She sounds god awful. If the cat is out and about with OP, and runs under the bed and literally HIDES from her then SHE'S THE PROBLEM!

[@OnyaB]

Lol. You gotta stop this. I don’t like cats. But every time I visit my friends with cats. These cats don’t leave me alone!! I’d prefer to think that they were tormenting me than they were choosing me. 😭

[@danganryanne9499]

@@OnyaBFrom what I knows, the sweet kitty beans will gravitate to the person avoiding them :3

[@Jax_Destro]

My family has every male going back 3 or 4 generations named Orval. They all have different middle names they go by to avoid confusion. My dad didn't know I existed til I was 5, so I escaped the name. He told me later that if he knew about me, he would have named me Orval out of spite. "If I had to deal with it, so would you."

[@saltwatertaffy7020]

Out of spite?😂

[@bridgetcooney5085]

My mom was the executor of her brother's will. He had three daughters. My mom settled debts/expenses for the estate and put all the assets into a trust for the youngest daughter who has learning disabilities. The eldest daughter absolutely agreed with this decision, because she understood her youngest sister would probably need the help for the rest of her life. The other sister was a jealous jerk about it. The rest of the extended family is all in consensus.

[@kekumontgomery192]

The salt and pepper story reminds me sooooo much of the "well done steak" or "steak sauce on a good steak" type arguments lol why is everyone so offended by how people "season" their own meal? Lol 😆

[@toyairy7612]

OP in the cooking contest did good. with the cooking competition would have been a good place to "donate' their recipe to Jessica's cook book. maybe have both recipes side by side in the book for trying the compare the two recipes. Whatever, contributing help with her cookbook is the best prize jessica could have. the money could not have bought someone to photograph and edit the cookbook.

[@terrancemuzic5157]

2:03:00 If she can't stop working for her anniversary what makes anyone here think she'll stop for therapy. If OP was the wife this wouldn't even be a question of AITA

[@bacgu]

For the laughing at the customer story: I get both parties. Thinking a cat can understand english outright is silly. That being said, with enough time and consistent tone, an animal can understand you. My mom would send my cat to me or my sister by saying "go to [name]'s room" and we had to spell around my dog to keep him from getting excited and he learned what we were spelling, like snack and walk.

[@astonjanuary]

Thanks for these Markee! I like that you do them even if some of the stories infuriate me.

[@manxeable]

I just had to google what are OD's since English isn't my first language, only to finish adding a comment for google explaining "OD = overdose = sobredosis" bc it wasn't translated to Spanish. Once I understood the meaning, I began to think that I had already heard it two paragraphs ago... But I couldn't remember the English word, it was in Spanish in my memory 🤣. Congrats to me, thank you for reading my will.

[@katherinehutton9870]

I a big believer in people keeping their mouths shut about what they are getting in wills. My children have always know they are not inheriting anything. I grew up with people knowing they would inherit and they all turned out to be assholes. Now the friends I have that are in their fourty talk about what they are going to get when their parents are dead. This always pisses me off. Everybody saying why is he talking about riding and that's sill. I lost my mother when I was 20 and my father at 33. It can happen out of the blue. My children will inherit when I die. They are just not counting on it and they will also get many items of a personal nature.

[@thedarkestkinghtstar]

Mom jokes she'll write us out of the will but honestly I don't "want" anything anyhow. She has however pointed out different things she wants us to keep in the family, and that will be honored. Anything else, I just want them here for as long as possible.

[@RJLiams]

Sounds like you just have extremely shitty friends. I've met plenty who knew they were getting inheritance but weren't pricks about it.

[@katherinehutton9870]

​@@thedarkestkinghtstarI know what you mean. I think that is why this is a pet annoyance of mine. I was very close with my mother and I was the one of us who took care of her (lung cancer). We only 6 months after she was diagnosed and I was there when she took her last breath. No amount of money makes that better. Hearing these people talk while they take there parents for granted bothers. Each one of her daughters inherited a ring my brother inherited a watch that had been her father's. I inherited the rest of her jewelry. Every piece of my mother had great meaning. My father gave my mother a piece of jewelry for every important event and holiday. I got her engagement that my father paid for while at war in Korea. My sisters got the rings that were bought at their birth. Unknown to my family I took a piece of jewelry and put it a side for each grandchild. I give it to them upon marriage or an occasion that feels right. These pieces have become the most important things we own.

[@tazhienunurbusinezz1703]

I guess I dislike the whole inheritance idea. It usually just ends up tearing families apart.

[@Draggonny]

It would probably be for the best if inheritance tax was 100%. Less hoarding of money. Less intergenerational wealth and privilege. No inherited titles or land. Everything would be much more equal and meritocratic. But people don't like the idea of losing everything they have, even when dead, and often do everything they can to give the next generation a leg up in life because starting from nothing is so damn hard in such an unequal society. It's a vicious cycle.

[@zashgekido5616]

@@Draggonny I mean.. Yea, sounds about right to want what you've earned in life to benefit your loved ones when you die

[@dontwanttousemynameso6095]

Story 2: YTA. One of my requirements in a relationship is to know addiction pasts because both my parent's are/were addicts. And spoiler the "were" isn't because they quit. They died. I could date an ex addict. Only clean for a year and a half? Hesitant but fine. Lie to me about your past? No. Absolutely not. Break up or couples therapy on the spot

[@dontwanttousemynameso6095]

@Gabrielle Boilard Thank you so much. Don't worry I am as mentally and physically healthy as I can be and am doi ng well. Thank you so much.

[@tobysvibin5533]

A year and a half is a significant amount of time. Don't diminish ex-addict's progress, that's rude and hurtful.

[@Can_think_of_a_name]

There's nothing wrong with people wanting their own past private, OP didn't lie, YTA not him

[@catpoke9557]

@@tobysvibin5533 I found the comments calling a year of sobriety "nothing" despicable. Describing something that, to someone experiencing it, might feel like the longest year of their life, as "nothing" is a sure-fire way to get them to relapse. Sure, it's not a long enough time to say they will definitely not relapse (though no amount of time really is) but it is still an ACHIEVEMENT and a big one at that. It is FAR from nothing.

[@oliviaksiag6163]

Reminds me of me, my sister, and our little cousin. When we were younger, I just thought they were annoying little kids, but then my sister started growing up and being able to have a real conversation. My cousin is still a little kid and is bratty sometimes, but I am older and have a bit more patience for her now than when I was 15 and had a 5 year old who kept following me around and copying me.

[@mad-dog_gamer]

To the one seeking a name change, just think of the most iconic character, Bart Simpson. Bartholomew JoJo Simpson. Ain't that a trip. 😂

[@surrealistgirlx]

I struggled with a suicidal ideation for decades. I always told my partners about it. I moved past it during my last relationshop. My ex has two children. Because of the children I realized that I couldn't do it. Good on OP for telling his boyfriend. To the person with the feral kitten, DTAA. It's not right to keep it in that kind in that environment. Screw her for yanking the kitty out of the cat carrier. As someone who has had cat for decades. The fact that kitty runs away from your gf is enough. Your kitty will happy in a new setting. The fact that she wanted you to keep your sick cat alive is cruel. Eff her. Re: the father who planned was not give any money to the adopted daughter based an athletic scholarship is being very short-sighted. That would put a great deal of pressure on her. Many US states don't pay for tuition for adoptees. Many athletes might get a sports injury. Tution is revoked. Cats obeying orders. 🤣🤣🤣 That would put pressurre

[@flamelily2086]

OP can leave his assets however he likes but cutting two children out of his will because they are successful is ridiculous and hurtful. OP is the AH.

[@susanminer2088]

My first thought about Jack’s gift was ski equipment.

[@gamefreak2383]

I agree that the recovering addict should have told this boyfriend but the poster that said That a year and 1⁄2 of sobriety is nothing is just so toxic and abusive.

[@genesisshort3097]

While I do find it unsavory for guests to drown their food in salt and pepper (personally, i can't stand black pepper), it's not really that rude. My mom comes to eat at my place sometimes and immediately wants to drown her food in crushed red peppers, no matter what it is. I find it gross but she doesn't have very refined tastes. And that's okay. Get over your pride, people.

[@brandonshelp4682]

Story 1: definitely ahole. If you treat one child way better has consequences. If it's a good chunk, it helps the precious princess anyway.

[@sassysavageshannon6205]

People who eat tons of salt on their food can actually be addicted to salt. Many years ago I was addicted to salt and family members used to have to hide it from me because I would literally ruin good food but food was bland and tasteless unless I doused it because my tastebuds were so used to tons of salt. The tons of salt looked like my foods were snowing lol. Plus so much sodium gave me daily headaches and a massive migraine 2-3 times a week. It took the intervention of my older brother, sister and boyfriend to hide all salt and make me promise me o try to go a week without salt to see if the headaches and migraines eased off. I was literally in denial and refused for sooo long but the pain got to me so I finally agreed. They eased in intensity and I agreed to stop. Best decision ever. Less headaches and migraines and eventually food tastes came back. I used to gross everyone out when I ate because of all the salt.

[@tobysvibin5533]

SAME! Would flat out eat salt and just suck on those big seasalt chunks til they melted. Worst thing for you, ugh..

[@averagecommenter4623]

1:02:36 I would also get into physical fights with my brother when I was younger. We're both in highschool and we barely talk to each other. The only time I go to him is to see him play need for speed. He even let me customize a car. He's still an ahole to me verbally sometimes, but it's never where we are kicking or punching.

[@justlikethewizard]

Yeah the people running the food competition don't care about making their contest accessible. They are using that poor girl as an excuse to feel good about themselves. They don't actually care about her. EDIT: see the fact that OP didn't even know about the cookbook says a lot about this. If they cared about her cause they would have been talked about it!

[@skyelindsey687]

If I remember correctly for the last story they do end up doing the test at the therapists suggestion and he gets even angrier when the results come back that he is the father. Turns out he was no longer in love with her and wanted an easy out that would’ve negated all financial obligations he would have towards her because of the divorce.

[@NationandState]

The Bert Story just sounds like guys who are irrational and insane.

[@yaqbulyakkerbat4190]

Is that commentor seriously stupid enough to say op is TA for not letting his girlfriend violently throttle a kitten???

[@Nope148]

Honestly, I would give the recovering addict a stipulation in their share of the will: they get 1/15 of the chosen share for each year of sobriety. If they relapse, they forfeit the right to any years they had left, and the forfeited amount goes to (insert charity here). If they relapse after the 15, it's already too late to be expecting someone to bail them out. Also, I first assumed that the mystery sport could've been a fancy bike. Those things can get VERY fancy and VERY expensive, even more than a used car.

[@stevelemur6113]

When I was reading about the former addict's concern about telling his love about his past, I was imagining an O’Henry story moment when he confesses all and his love then says “Guess exactly what I have been worried about telling you?”. SCENE: We see them sitting at a table, hand in hand, gazing into each other’s eyes. Camera pans back, violin music comes up, lights go down. The end. Well it didn’t go that way, but it has a happy beginning, so that is what counts. I wish you two a long and wonderful future together. Prosperity, blessed be, mozel tov, whatever is right in you two’s situation.

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

One year is NOT nothing in recovery! It's huge and can feel like forever. Wording it like that seems very dismissive. Other people who have not been through it, however, will not see it as long at all. Think of it like this: You walked into the forest for 10 years, it's going to take you 20 to walk back out. All that being said, he let that send him right back out and he proved he is definitely not ready for that....

[@tobysvibin5533]

I know right? I've said the same thing, it's hurtful to diminish other's progress because YOU think it isn't "long enough". My father's an alcoholic and hasn't been fully sober even a MONTH let alone a year, and I still don't go diminishing him for it. Granted, I have LC/NC with him for the alcoholism.

[@panicwithcompulsion]

My husband's grandmother also has that catnip type personality. As soon as my grandmother walked through the front door, my cat ran up to her and started SCREAMING for attention from her. My cat is incredibly friendly, to the point of laying under the boots of maintenance workers, but she has never sensed someone's presence and screamed for it like that. She's just got that Grandma Energy, I suppose. xD

[@theducklinghomesteadandgar6639]

For the college Sisters and OP. As parents who can save for their children to go to college, you save for all of them. If one or more get scholarships and/or financial aid the funds that are their share, are still their share. To take from one because she worked hard and EARNED a scholarship, and give her share to one who basically just coasted through school and doesn't appear to have tried to improve her chances at college by having better grades, or 4 point classes, or some form of scholarship chance is like telling the one with scholarship your either going to punish her for her accomplishments, show favoritism and/or reward mediocre efforts not efforts to try and help oneself and even help the family. It doesn't matter how well or not so well one child does over or under another, you treat them all equally fair and they get equal shares of any help given, at any time, so for college, for wedding, for honeymoon, for a house for inheritance, or any one or all of those listed all kids get the same, period!!! IF inheritance is more in property than money, they either all own the property and share the usage of it or one can buy two out if all in agreement...if not, then put it up for sale and divide the funds

[@pinkremus961]

I have autism myself and I originally thought the OP was an arsehole because of that but as the story went on I think everyone else is the hard arsehole except for opening and their wive Myself as an autistic person I don’t want to hand out I want to be treated like everybody else giving me the money if I didn’t win I wouldn’t take it because I didn’t want it and it isn’t mine to take

[@pinkremus961]

If the autistic person did not win the competition which she didn’t she does not deserve all should get that money not even a little bit not a pity prize because that never works out

[@cynicalminion]

how in the heck does somebody who works with animal rescues miss the part where the cat HIDES FROM HER, after spending the day with HIM?? no, the problem is not the cat, but that doesn't make her ignoring his opinions and forcing herself on the cat okay, and doesn't bode well for any potential children, either.

[@vetaroberts3333]

Just because you are family, doesn’t mean they are wanted in your life

[@catpoke9557]

"It sounds like she's decided your advice doesn't work, and maybe it doesn't." IT CLEARLY DOES. The cat likes OP. It hates their girlfriend. Clearly OP is doing things right while she isn't. Good lord. And yanking the cat out of the carrier isn't the right thing to do. "Maybe he hates the carrier" THEN HE WOULDN'T BE HIDING FROM IT AND TRYING TO STOP HER FROM TAKING HIM OUT. It's not the carrier he hates. It's HER TAKING HIM OUT. This person should NOT be rehabbing animals. The post isn't about the girlfriend. It's about the cat. She is traumatizing this cat. They shouldn't just 'keep trying' if she clearly isn't actually trying to do it right. She's trying to force the cat to like her methods, not trying to find the RIGHT methods.

[@jamiehorne1173]

These people didn't know that addiction is a disorder. OP is going to how to deal with for rest of their lives.

[@gigga143]

For the inheritance story: NTA. The parents should be setting up a trust for him for his portion of the inheritance for it to come to him in certain amounts with a trustee watching over it. I think Markee and anyone saying OP is the AH is in the wrong. OP has a right to be upset and feel like he’s being treated wrongly in this situation. There was a way to do this and the parents did this the wrong way…. after the update, and look what it lead to, him relapsing. Way to go parents. You need supportive people to get over addiction and imo they pushed him towards it.

[@cass973]

How would the town like the News Media to find out the town has not given out the full amount of the prize money?? The organizers have shit on their own event. The "organizers" can't organize very well. It would have been easy for them to do with out stealing from the winner. We can only hope that this will be part of the book. Showing the different types of treatment. It's like the organizers were treating her like a side show to make the town look good.

[@emeraldqueen1994]

First story : on what planet is OP NOT TAH? For the story where OP is a recovering addict : I just want to say, that I’m proud of you for fighting the good fight... that takes A LOT of courage to do! For the story where OP didn’t want to share his prose money : I’m an Autistic person, and I second what you said Markee... she didn’t win and OP did! It IS condescending to get a pity prize like that!!!! For anyone who wants to learn about ASD, please check out Max Derrat’s KZbin channel or the KZbin show “Autisticly Me” for the story where OP’s husband believes that their son isn’t his : going off personal experience, that sounds like an anxiety disorder (I have GAD & PTSD)

[@anitacharron9153]

I have 2 younger brothers and my oldest next to me and I used to argue all the time and are still not as close as we could be but as we grew we realize we needed each other and when we lost our parents we figured out even though we had our own families that we were all we had and are still so opposite it cracks our kids up but we have gotten so much stronger that we compliment each other personality wise it will get better as u get ilder

[@Me-wk3ix]

In the last story, the OP is right. The husband is basically accusing her of cheating. That's not something to gloss over. There is either something very wrong in their marriage, or he is struggling with mental health. Either way, therapy would be good.

[@stevelemur6113]

Regarding Nelson T. Cat: OP, do you mean the shelter staff don't routinely discus the subject of languages with every prospective adopter? “Well Rover is pretty good in English and Spanish, but his French is a little weak. Do you sir know any sign language?

[@starlaaster523]

Animals know when they meet their person. My very traumatized dog bites everybody who tries to touch her, but when I met her, she did a terrifying jump to get in my arms and was all kisses.

[@silverwurm]

First: she doesn’t have Asperger’s and autism, she is autistic. Asperger’s is a subset of the autistic spectrum. Second, as someone who is level 1 autistic (would have been categorized as Asperger’s if I had been diagnosed years ago) I too would have found the decision patronizing.

[@muhname6052]

The cat: Did op just put the cat down without telling her? If so, op sucks so hard, and i hope he stays single.

[@caz5288]

My funny cat story is my mom adopted a cat. When we got her home, she decided she wanted me instead of my mom. Guess I’m a cat mama now. 😻

[@raywhittaker4813]

about the addiction story, yta but also nta. i have baggage that I ALWAYS tell my potential boy/girlfriends about because it can be a dealbreaker for some. i have a rare inflammatory arthritic autoimmune disease known as ankylosing spondylitis that's literally sp painful, medical professionals compare it to the level of pain experienced during childbirth. this disease can prevent me from doing certain things when my pain is at its peak unbearable level. it also kills my libito and causes me to over use the medical mary jane im given for when i have flare ups. not to mention, the mental toll it takes on me. my cousin has this disease but were not close so i essentially have no one around who understands, leading me to phases of depression where i isolate myself. because of the pain level associated with my condition and the burden it puts on myself and those around me, i often think of ending my life. this is what caused the end of my relationship before the one im currently in. when theres things about you that could be a dealbreaker in a relationship and you refuse to tell your partner until it becomes an issue, you become ta because you essentially gave them a sense of false security that everything is fine when in reality its not. imagine how they would feel if you relapsed and they had no idea to help you which leads to your death. that could absolutely RUIN their life and possibly cause them to end it because of the guilt they feel for 1) thinking they made you feel uncomfortable to the point where you felt like you couldnt tell them. and 2) for not doing enough to save you. youre also nta because this is a very personal and difficult topic and you shouldnt feel forced to tell anyone anything unless its in a medical or life or death scenerio. i understand your hesitation with telling them because youre afraid of losing them, but you need to think about them and their feelings and what it could do to them if the worst case senario comes.

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

Honey, a huge part of the program is RIGOROUS HONESTY. You are putting yourself at the risk of relapse holding such a deep secret. It may shock him, he may need time to process but he absolutely deserves to know. You yourself can't even say with 100% surety that you won't use again. What happens if you do and suddenly he's finding out about all these massive secrets?! I doubt he'd want to stay and hear you out. He deserves to have all the information. Whether he leaves or not because of it just isn't up to you, no matter how much it sucks

[@Dohyden2]

Drug addiction and troubled past... As someone who participates in same sex relations I sure hope this individual went and saw a doctor and got checked up. If he didn't, who knows what he might be passing onto his partner.

[@mameeocean6194]

My question for the addict in 10 mo relationship: What was your mindset about your ability and likelihood to remain sober the last time, before relapsing after 2 years? Just curious if you had the same confidence at that time, being 99.9% certain you were home free. It is very encouraging that you’ve stood through several major life stressors this stretch of time without craving, even having a bad taste in your mouth at the notion. You’re truly blessed and inspiring to others that are struggling and doubtful about recovery.

[@lanadelrad6147]

The centuries old root name: Jesus that utterly cripples the 7 generation 1st son name in another story. Like centuries? Across nations? Honestly that’s impressive