My Friend Is Angry At Me For Not Contributing To Her Wedding I Wasn't Invited To r/Relationships

[@QuayHollywood]

Yeah, story 2 I've heard, and I'm gonna say he's not having anxiety he's having psychological delusions. They should have gotten him tested for schizophrenia.

[@janedoe885]

Might be worth it to check on paranoid personality disorder too just to be safe. Anxiety can absolutely get severe but especially with how everything is being projected as reflecting the character of others it doesn't read as anxiety. It's possible there was a misdiagnosis when the guy was younger, but either way seems like the parents would rather it be anxiety because that's a less intimidating diagnosis than some alternatives. If it is actually something else though, he isn't going to be treated effectively under the anxiety assumption.

[@QuayHollywood]

@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse This didn't seem like a red pill thing. It seemed like he was just hyper fixated on the DNA portion of it, reflecting something that would be the cause of some thoughts he was having. Or hearing this co workers talk put ideas in his head that sent him spiraling. But after the thing about his anxiety coming up. This was less about anxiety, and more of this guy is delusional in the literal medical sense of the word.

[@rinpaisys]

Or paranoid persecution complex

[@betheguy_posts]

As soon as OP started describing his brother's "anxiety" and giving examples, all I could think what "Dude, that just sounds like paranoid schizophrenia or paranoid personality disorder. He needs a real psych eval."

[@neru1584]

​@@betheguy_poststhe brother couldve gotten better a LONG time ago if his parents weren't in so much denial. If he got treatment for (what sounds like) schizophrenia way earlier or something then I feel like a lot of this wouldn't even have happened. Way too many parents deny that their child could ever be "ill" and let them destroy their lives or hurt other people because of it. I see it in way too much of these stories and it sucks.

[@Lestaticate]

Story 2: Yikes, OP’s parents need to stop being in denial and get their son the help he desperately needs. If push comes to shove, OP and her SIL might need to take full control before things potentially escalate further.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

Yeah. And the reddit comments were so cruel to him before the update. Like What did they expect him to do? Live in fear for the rest of his life? He can't help what he feels like. But i guess his peace of mind is worth less than her pride. Like what other option is there besides live in fear or get the test and peace of mind. Thats why I disagree. Men deserve the right to know for 100% sure their child is theirs. It's a litetal human right. And they should be able to ask for one for any or no reason. If paternity tests were legally mandatory before any father can be put on the LEGAL birth certificate this wouldnt be a problem. Unfortunately men aren't given the same parental rights as women are. And theres a huge stigma against it. I dont understand why the wife even cared? Like why is her pride worth more than his peace of mind? It isnt. And if my husband wanted one i wouldn't hesitate. I really wonder if some of you even love your spouses.

[@CircusoftheMoon]

@@WhitneyDahlin He could’ve gotten a paternity test without turning his life into a dramatic day time tv show. Men do it literally all the time.

[@srkh8966]

My blue-eyed brother married a woman whose parents were from Iran. We assumed their first baby would take after her-Nope! My nephew is the spitting image of my brother, so much so that her mother actually thought they’d brought in the wrong baby lol. The next baby boy is the spitting image of his mother-people are surprised to find out their brothers

[@hubbachubba1]

Yes! My best friend who is a blue eyed strawberry blonde married a very dark Hawaiian man with blue black hair. Their son was born with brown skin, black hair & blue eyes which later turned hazel. Their daughter is tan with light brown hair & hazel eyes. Genetics are not 100% predictable.

[@KanaidBlack]

My pale-skin aunt married a guy with dark skin and had 4 kids with him; older daughter and younger son are dark skin but younger daughter and older son are pale skin. I have a couple of friends who's mom it's a blonde woman with super white skin and the dad it's this dark brunette guy with black hair; older bro it's his dad copy and younger bro it's his mom copy (if she was a boy).

[@jacksparrowismydaddy]

I started crying over the frenemy that cared about that lady's dad. what a great person.

[@Kyrriie]

I know... I was waiting for her to say they are now good friends :( I hope they did get closer both seem like good people

[@jacksparrowismydaddy]

@@Kyrriie its also possible they may never be friends but at least not frenemies anymore.

[@YellaBellaReno]

Dude, Reddit is so on it sometimes. When OP said it was anxiety, and started explaining the symptoms, I was like, “yeah… that sounds more like schizophrenia than anxiety.” Nice to see the commenters picked up on that too.

[@Nyanx4]

S2: That's not "anxiety", that's paranoia. Which, y'know... can make people anxious. Weird how his parents are insistent that it's "just anxiety" when there can be many external and internal causes for anxiety. Wonder if they don't want to admit it might be something bigger because that would mean they'd have to reckon with their medical neglect of their kid?

[@carolinaazevedo2088]

Exactly. I have anxiety. This is not it

[@lina9535]

Yeah, that's my thought as well. And I have severe anxiety. What the brother has is not anxiety.

[@owlbyovrprepared1128]

Yeah that paranoia says psychosis or OCD to me. Get him help.

[@madalice5134]

Paranoid Personality Disorder, maybe? I have OCD and high anxiety and the intrusive thoughts and OCD issues are not delusions. I know they aren't rational. I don't actually think if I don't lock unlock and lock everything in my house that my dog will die, it's my brain misfiring. This guy sounds fully delusional.

[@pippo17173]

The parents are hiding something. There is no way their doing this without something holding them back. Makes me think how he got it in the first place.

[@sherryluu518]

I have black straight hair, brown eyes. My husband has wavy brown hair, green eyes. He was born with brown hair, it lightened to blonde when he was a child and then changed back to brown. Our daughter has hazel eyes and brown curly hair. It looks red sometimes. Now that summer is coming and we are outside more. Her hair is turning more blonde. Genetics are crazy. Also we both have grandmas with red hair. Curly/wavy hair runs on my moms side. I'm Vietnamese, Irish and Cherokee. My husband is German and Czech. I was not expecting our daughter to have light hair.

[@lina9535]

I have a niece and nephew (born in that order), and when my niece was born, even at just one week, she looked like a copy of her dad. Just with blond hair. My nephew was more of a mix between them, and while he was born with blonde hair, it did change to a dark brown later. The color changing is very common for hair and eyes when it comes to babies. Most are born with the "baby blues" (hence the name if I remember correctly), but as they grow, their real eye/hair color comes in. If I recall correctly, one theory is that because it's dark in the womb, the melanins and other stuff that affect/effect (sorry, I never remember which one is which) haven't "started yet". Like how skin color depends on the sun originally for natural protection. Those genes haven't gotten the "start signal" yet, so to speak. Eye colors though I find so interesting. The punnet square thing isn't really applicable anymore, as there's like... around 15 or so genes that influence the eye color. While we can still use the BB, Bb, bb thing, they have found that people with BB (typically brown), can have blue or green eyes, but it's a smaller percentage. It's the same with the other 2 as well. I look a lot like my dad, pretty much the only thing I got from my mom was my blonde hair and being female. The strange thing though, is that I look like my half sister, who looks more like our mom (she has a different dad). Isn't that funny? She looks like mom, and I don't, but I look a bit like her 😂 As for the mannerisms, those aren't really inherited. Those are learned. So I guess we knows which parent has been with Lisa the most.

[@kristinicole2055]

Myself and my boyfriend both have brown eyes, my daughter has hazel eyes. We both have brown hair, she has blonde hair. I’m mixed, he’s white, our daughter is light enough that no one would know she is mixed. My son on the other hand, he’s tan, brown hair, brown eyes just like me but looks like dad. 😂 genetics can go back years, and you never know what you’ll get.

[@7ShadowMaiden7]

I saw your profile picture and your facial features are very beautiful! I hope you and your family have beautifully happy lives!

[@sherryluu518]

​@kristinicole2055 What a beautiful mix. I bet they are a real cutie. I was shocked how she has such light hair and really curly too. When its wet, it shrinks into a tight curl. It's a learning curve working with curly hair when you are used to straight hair all your life. ​@@kristinicole2055

[@90charmedndangerous]

Yeah, my mom has blond hair blue eyes,my dad has brown/black hair(that was blond as a kid and turned darker), my grandparents all had blond or brown hair except for one who had red/ginger hair (and very curly). I was born with brown(almost black) hair, which torned into a light/medium brown(in the summers it gets blonde/almost blonde) with some reddish/copper tones and brown/amber eyes,my brother had blonde hair that turned light brown and brown eyes and my sister was born with and still has blonde hair and blue eyes like mom. Each side has curly/wavy hair (some of us more than others) im the one with most curls of my siblings.

[@elizabethescalante8114]

If OP's "friend" is strapped for cash for a wannabe rich wedding, then I have an excellent solution! A financial advice book from an SNL skit with Steve Martin called "Don't Spend Money You Don't Have!!!"

[@jakemarie828]

Love that skit!

[@elizabethescalante8114]

@@jakemarie828 Right?! Me too! And this one if you can guess it! " Have you ever killed a dog while driving drunk, and then been upset that there was no way for your car engine to cook it for you on the rest of the drive home? Well those days are over thanks to Doctor Lee's pet engine cooking bag!"

[@ZombieSazza]

I don’t understand why folk have super lavish weddings anyway, surely you’d be better off doing your wedding cheaply and saving all that money that would be wasted on your honeymoon so you can travel together for an extended period of time, where your money would go on memories..? Just always found it insane women will spend thousands on a wedding dress

[@xelectrix]

Sotry 2: I'm a firstborn daughter, and I look like a carbon copy of my mother. If I were the wife, I'd do the paternity test and give him the results along with divorce papers. I know that's such a reddot take, but on top of being called a cheater, I'd be upset at having a partner that's so ignorant and unreasonable.

[@ZombieSazza]

Nah I think that’s a reasonable take, especially because he refuses to listen and is showing how much of a POS he really is

[@ZombieSazza]

Especially because if this is how he is acting about this in public then how has he been treating his daughter and wife at home, if he’s been distant, rude, argumentative, pushed his daughter away then that’s divorce worthy to me!

[@marshawargo7238]

Exactly what I would do! How long after the test confirms that the daughter is his, will it be before he starts saying that "Just because she's mine, doesn't mean that she's NOT cheating on me!" No Way would I live with or love someone who is always calling me a liar!!! Trust & communication are the foundation of marriage, without those, it's just an illusion!

[@katie6731]

I don't look like my parents or grandparents. The only person I resemble is one of my cousins. Though, my hands look just like my mom's, and my feet look like my father's. Nobody has questioned my parentage. I agree with your take. If it's come to the point of requiring a paternity test, then the relationship is over because it is devoid of trust. There _might_ be a rare couple that can work their way back from such a place, but they would both have to be completely invested in rebuilding their trust in each other. This isn't an option for OP.

[@katie6731]

I don't look like my parents or grandparents. The only person I resemble is one of my cousins. Though, my hands look just like my mom's, and my feet look like my father's. Nobody has questioned my parentage. I agree with your take. If it's come to the point of requiring a paternity test, then the relationship is over because it is devoid of trust. There _might_ be a rare couple that can work their way back from such a place, but they would both have to be completely invested in rebuilding their trust in each other. This isn't an option for OP's sister-in-law.

[@QueenSix811]

Story 2: that’s extreme paranoia if I’ve ever heard of it. I am a paranoid person as well but definitely not to that extent

[@steveadams7592]

1st story. This is a shakedown for money, plain and simple. If you give in this time; fully expect further calls when her poor money management skills rise again.

[@marshawargo7238]

I just listened to another story on Mark Narrations where OP's SIL was mad that she got less gifts & money from people who she sent her registry to after ELOPING. She was comparing her haul to her brother's & SIL's who she was whining to! SIL told her "I had a large guest list, venue & meal, a Party so how can you compare it & it's results with your elopement, no guests, no party & with a request for gifts Afterwards???" SIL had the nerve to say "I know the difference between our weddings, I'm Not an idiot!" (IMO Apparently, SIL IS an idiot) 😂😂😂 If you ask people who were not invited to the party, to pay for the party, they are not guests they are patrions😮!!!

[@carlrood4457]

1. If you are not invited, you are not a guest. 2. If you are expected to pay for the party (invited or not), you are a co-host, not a guest. People really need to learn definitions.

[@JK-sh8rc]

Don't understand why OP would even consider having a reconciliation with her ex-friend. Especially after the way OP was treated? Going nc is probably the best solution.

[@elizabethescalante8114]

@@JK-sh8rc I just the other "guests" who weren't invited followed her lead! I know I would!

[@hr_3m0_fk_rv5u2]

Lmao People can't be "guests that didn’t attend." If they didn’t attend, they aren't a guest.

[@DominosAndHearts]

Story 1 not the a hole, you shouldnt pay for what you werent invited to attend! Also not op fault the friend didnt budger correctly

[@101Mant]

You shouldn't pay for one you were invited to attend. Have the wedding you can afford, don't ask the guest to pay they already give gifts.

[@michaelplunkett8059]

Didn't make the invite cut, why would you pay? You are NOT a guest if you are not invited Sarah.

[@waitwhat1029]

I know it was technically a typo but i'm completely stealing that word... Budger: noun. Similar to a budget but when the spender wants to use your wallet instead of theirs.

[@marshawargo7238]

​@@michaelplunkett8059 You are also not a guest if you are asked to pay, you then become a patrion!😮

[@IzzyPR2010]

I've seen a few stories like this, going further, another story here was asking someone to use their home for a venue, then exuding them from attending, asking them not to be home while the wedding is going on, guess what, they lost the venue. Shocked pikachu face.

[@alyzu4755]

Story 2: That's way beyond anxiety and goes into, at least , paranoid personality disorder or even paranoid schizophrenia. It's really important they find out, especially with a new baby on the scene.

[@JamaicanMonroe]

Can't believe some people have the audacity to ask guests to pay for their wedding. Even worse to ask people who weren't even invited 😲 If you can't afford the wedding you want, don't get married untill you can or plan a simpler wedding! It's not the responsibility of your friends and loved ones to pay!

[@carlrood4457]

They really need a dictionary, because they don't know what the word guest means.

[@B1ack_1otus_Guidance]

It’s beyond tacky. An old coworker that I hadn’t seen in years sent me a GoFundMe link on Facebook to help pay for her wedding. She also lived across the US so it’s not like I would’ve gotten an invite anyways. Funny part is she actually included a reason, an excuse, saying that because she came out of the closet her family is not supportive and won’t pay for her wedding so therefore she feels like stranger she hadn’t seen in a long time should help donate for her wedding.

[@JamaicanMonroe]

@@B1ack_1otus_Guidance Wow that's crazy! I do feel sorry for them not having family to support but a lot of people don't have family who can finance a wedding. It doesn't make it the responsibility of others.

[@neilschroeder7854]

Story 1- just tell her Sarah you can’t send her any money as it was allocated to pay for OP’s birthday party Sarah wasn’t invited to, but that OP thinks Sarah should have helped pay for.

[@SiFireHasSpeed]

That’s not anxiety…. that’s paranoia

[@ZombieSazza]

I said the same thing! He needs to be properly evaluated so they can figure out what his exact mental health diagnosis is, like for me I was just told I had depression for years (from 18 to early 20s, just dismissive male doctors thinking I was dramatic) until I pushed for a proper mental health evaluation, to find I actually have PTSD (cPTSD to be exact) and that means treatment is different, I needed more involved help and guidance mental health, different medications. But for this young man? Yeah that ain’t anxiety and mismanaging his mental health is a sure fire way of making him more mentally unstable, he also won’t be getting the proper support, may not even be on the right medications etc. I’m wondering if the parents are downplaying his mental health because they don’t wanna admit to medical neglect or have backwards views about people with mental health disabilities. He needs proper help immediately either way, poor guy.

[@marshawargo7238]

Just wait until his bent brain figures out that, just because the baby is his doesn't mean that she's not sleeping around!!! No Way could I be married to or living with someone who is always calling me a liar! If they take some time apart so that he can get sorted out & she finds out how peaceful, her life is without him in it, that might just make his life worse, possibly more prone to life ending😥🥺!!!

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Story 2. Brother is an idiot! I am Puerto Rican, Native American, and Rwandan from my mom, and Brazilian and Mozambique from my dad. I am tan, with brown hair and eyes. My husband's mother is from Norway, and his father is English, and my husband is very fair with blonde hair and blue eyes. Typically, it is believed that darker genes are dominant. Well, let me tell you....we have fraternal twins, boy/girl. My daughter looks just like me, but she is very fair, with blonde hair and blue eyes. Meanwhile, our son (her twin) has darker skin with brown eyes and hair like me but looks exactly like his dad. Our youngest is the perfect combination of both me and my husband. He has brown hair and blue eyes and not too fair skinned but not too tanned either. Genes are not predictable and work the way they want to work.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

My grandpa, mum and I are the only red heads on both sides and I look like my mum's twin lol. Genetics is fascinating.

[@mythogenesis4788]

Story 2- I am a daughter. The first born, my brother, and I both look EXACTLY like my mother. We got virtually nothing from my father aside from ears and nose bridges.

[@ZombieSazza]

I have some of my biological mothers small nose and face shape, and my dads eyes, mouth and interestingly ears, one of my ears sticks out further than the other lmao, just one of them random cool genetic things! My biological brother the last I saw him about 8 years ago was the spitting image of my dad, just a younger version with more hair. Whilst I have features from both (both have blue eyes and brown hair), I inherited features from my Grandmas dads mum, which is her red hair. As a kid my hair was completely straight and reddish-brown, as an adult it’s lightly wavy and just red (like strawberry blind) which seems to turn slightly more red when in the sun! (Dad is only biological relative I speak to, sorry if confusing to read)

[@miragedown]

I literally just thanked my friends for not being shitty people. Thank god.

[@dragonrider1549]

Final story - as someone who went undiagnosed with asthma until I was 18, as well as ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression until I was 30 I pray someone takes that brothers mental health seriously and gets him the help he clearly needs. Going undiagnosed is like that can do some permanent damage to not only the brother, but to everyone around him, and I hate it when parents downplay their child’s condition.

[@katwiltz1134]

As a mama I would also make a plea because I didn't always listen I thought I was responsible for whether or not my kids were healthy so my relationship with their medical conditions was not healthy I'm just coming to terms with that now please please listen to your children

[@sovereigncrux]

story 2: If his behavior towards his wife deteriorated over the year of him obsessing over the idea of his child not being his, I imagine his behavior towards his child deteriorated, as well. That's probably why he tried to assure the girl he loved her only after the test, and in a sheepish manner. This is more than anxiety, I hope he gets treatment for it, but I also hope they get care for the daughter whose father turned away from her and her mother while claiming she wasn't his child.

[@ZombieSazza]

Yeah she’s gunna need a lot of love and reassurance after this, she’s gunna be wary around her dad because of his behaviour and he only has himself to blame, but he’ll made his daughter very cautious around him

[@bricksloth6920]

Last story sounds like paranoid schizophrenia.

[@srkh8966]

Or bipolar

[@lilunette9319]

​​@srkh8966 schizophrenia fits better because he has delusions of people conspiring against him. Plus, it manifests in the early 20s.

[@srkh8966]

@@lilunette9319 I know, but so do bipolar issues and they can have similar symptoms

[@ZombieSazza]

Either way, he needs proper mental health help, his parents are more concerned with pushing his genuine mental health aside than getting him proper help!

[@JJ-pb1rf]

I don’t think it is. When someone is acutely psychotic or delusional their belief system are not easily changed or challenged even with scientific evidence or rationale. There are a multitude of mental health issues that can mimic psychotic behavior and even for mental health professionals, takes a period of time to figure out. So simply saying someone is schizophrenic is not helpful.

[@ErisstheGoddessofmanhwas]

The moment my best friend say "you are not invited" whatever the reasons is , she is out of my life forever.

[@VeggieMama722]

So i watched this a couple of hours ago, and i still can't get over OP getting uninvited and then being asked to give money. The level of entitlement OPs friend is something I've never seen in my life

[@gabbidurham]

It’s not just anxiety. It sounds kinda like paranoid schizophrenia

[@maurer3d]

Story 1: NTA, even if you were invited the only people responsible for paying for the wedding was her and her fiancee. But to send out a money request to people who didn't attend, or were not invited at all is pure insanity. Don't give her any money, her economic troubles are 100% her fault for throwing a wedding well beyond her means.

[@lynnw7155]

The sad part is that OP is even asking if she should give Sarah money. I like the idea of turning it around and asking Sarah to contribute to OPs vacation.

[@GellaHumbug59]

Story 1: NTA for not paying for friend’s wedding. Period. Even if you had not been uninvited, and actually attended. Why should anyone be expected to pay for anyone else’s wedding? I don’t remember this being a thing years ago.

[@SilverDomainShrine7]

Story 1: Op is for sure NTA. I’ve been in a situation where I was friends with someone and then they turned around and pushed me away. The feelings sucks so much. Op, take all the time you need to recover from this, but don’t let it consume you. Cry, scream, rant if you need to- just do what you need to do you need to move on. It’s a hard journey and there will be setbacks, but you will get through this :)

[@BoxOKittens]

Story 2: I have an anxiety disorder, and I also had severe psychosis years ago. His train of thought is very similar to when I experienced psychosis.

[@heatherdickau5335]

Story 1 I wonder how many friends the bride lost after asking for money?

[@cheshiredeimos1874]

I knew a couple who both had dark hair. Their first child had red hair that turned brown at age five. The second child was blond until age 13 when it too turned brown. There wasn't dye involved. Their hair just turned dark as they got older. Appearances and resemblances change with age.

[@madeonpluto]

It's not anxiety! It looks like Paranoid Personality Disorder.

[@michaelplunkett8059]

Parents are minimizing issues. He needs meds and intensive treatment.

[@mimiwhite1963]

Story 1 I think it is standard that you do not contribute to any occasion when you are not invited

[@bkgksan9798]

My first “welcome to America moment” was when a grad school friend got married and I knew her and her bf - fiancée. We regularly hung out and did things together. She would constantly talk about her wedding. She went on to invite everyone except me. I was the only brown person and I was also the only one not invited. Just a week before her wedding , I got an email from her, I thought - may be an invite. Nope- it wasn’t, it was a link to her wedding gift registry and a link to her honeymoon gift money collection. She didn’t want to invite me to the wedding but wanted me to spend hundreds on gift and wanted me to find her honeymoon. And of course, it was not racism because she has brown friends. 😂😂😂

[@tmarie-ce5rj]

2nd Story: As the middle child of three girls my oldest sister has more of our maternal families features, I have a mix of both but look mostly like my paternal Grandmother and the youngest looks the most like a pretty feminine version of our dad. I've also never heard a saying like that

[@alexacarrillo4339]

Why would anyone struggling to deal with wedding costs still do a honeymoon? The only time I sent a nice gift when I was uninvited from a wedding was because Covid hit and the bride had to give up her big wedding to one with just her family.

[@rachaelclark8465]

Sarah's wedding story, She's out of her mind if she thinks people will pay for something they weren't invited to. If it were me, she would no longer be a friend.

[@gilles111]

On that 2nd story, I don't think brother has an anxiety disorder, it sounds like paranoia - a mental disorder in which the person thinks everybody is against him/her (including family and partners). People with this disorder have high chances to develop an anxiety disorder and/or schizophrenia. The anxiety disorder can be treated in most cases, the paranoid disorder seldom.

[@KE-hr4sb]

So common nowadays to see someone think their spouse cheated because "baby doesn't look like me!" Does no one pay attention in biology? My parents have brown skin, brown hair, and brown eyes. I was born pale, white-blond, with blue eyes. Turns out my dad's side of the family immigrated from Sweden in the late 1700's, and I'm some kind of genetic throwback.

[@pixiegirl131415]

That is not just anxiety. That is paranoia. I really hope the brother gets the help he needs.

[@untiedshoelaces2588]

Story 1: OP has to be an extreme simpleton to even consider being in the wrong. She may consider Sara a friend, but it is clear that those feelings are not reciprocated.

[@dianasmith8248]

Story one: NTA, you never have a wedding that you cannot afford.

[@srkh8966]

Wedding receptions aren’t transactional-it’s a party you throw for your guests to participate in your marriage celebration. No one owes you anything for attending, although gifts are a traditional way to wish the new couple well in their new life together.

[@littlegreycat]

27:24 that's anxiety with a mix of paranoia and that's much worse for a person.

[@rowdysgirlalways]

Story 1: NTA! Friend Sara is a grifter!

[@coreymartin6486]

Sarah isnt a friend. If she were, she would cut down her wedding budget to make sure OP was included. Sarah is yet another woman treating weddings like nothing more than parties and being princess for a day where they dont consider other people's feelings, even the groom's feelings.

[@maurer3d]

Story 2: NTA, the first born (just like every other child born), will be a mix of both parents, and may look like either, or neither depending on how the genes mix and what dominant, co-dominant and recessive trait the parents pass on. 90% of the time when someone is making baseless cheating allegations like this they are the one who is cheating, so I bet you brother is cheating and just projecting his actions on her. Story 2 (update): That is not anxiety, that is straight up paranoid personality disorder (or worst paranoid schizophrenia). You need your parents to tell you the truth, because if it is paranoid schizophrenia, you need to be tested for the genes for it, so you know to keep an eye out for symptoms.

[@boozy_baby]

That sounds like more than anxiety. My dad is bipolar & experiences pretty extreme patterns of paranoia.

[@Pintosonic]

Story 2: How dumb do you have to be to accuse your wife of cheating without. If you have paternity doubts, just buy a DNA test, swab the child and have the results mailed to your job or something. Now, no matter the results, he just stupidly blew up his marriage.

[@lynnw7155]

Give him a DNA test and a divorce.

[@SiFireHasSpeed]

SO CLOSE TO 100K I’M SO PROUD OF YOU

[@gigga143]

i have fairly severe anxiety, and i have a very close family member who has schizophrenia with paranoid delusions. that’s what it sounds like the brother has to me, though it could be a form of bipolar disorder as well. the parents seem in denial, but i hope the wife convinces him to get the help he needs.

[@katie6731]

Story 2: How does the man's sperm know whether or not it's fertilizing the first child? 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@mari.s752]

One thing that people should understand about most friendships. The reality is that roughly 90% of relationships that we call friends are at best casual acquaintances and at worst fair weather friends. This applies to long term relationships as well, ie why fix something that is unbroken. The word friend is used far too loosely in modern society.

[@dorianleakey]

I wonder with stories where one party is so clearly not the asshole if half the story is missing. There is a reply where she says her friend helped her out financially in the past, so I wonder if she just said "can you pay me back" and if the removal of the invitation was because this was never offered.

[@tantelila7464]

Pitching in for the honeymoon? What? - Cancel the honeymoon and take that money for the wedding!

[@janettesalisbury6524]

I would send her £10 worth of food vouchers, but then I'm petty lol

[@meagancall5005]

I don't care if you're the damn maid of honor, it's still inappropriate for the bride to ask you for money after (or before, or during) her wedding to pay for the event. This seems to be a weird trend, asking guests to "chip in." No. It would be even more inappropriate to ask an INVITED guest who was unable to attend to chip in for the event. Asking an *uninvited* non-guest to give you money isn't even tacky. It's full on delusional.

[@anthonystike6034]

Story # 1: "Sarah" figured out because OP probably used her main account and "Sarah" knew it and recognized the descriptors about the "friendship". Perfect reason to use a Throw Away Account for posting in Forums like Relationship Advice, etc.

[@thegreatestgatsby]

I disagree with the comment on story one saying that wanting a big wedding is selfish and entitled, however I will say that expecting guests to help pay for it is absolutely ridiculous.

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

Lol at my wedding we did have a registry but I would have been shocked if anyone I didn't invite sent a gift. Also, most of the inlaws just gave a card with a twenty. You know what I did? I sent them a thank you note. I would have died about asking for more money.

[@HamsterPooh]

That could just be obsessive compulsive behavior, which is basically anxiety. The behavior stems from anxieties. An example of how severe OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) can get is POCD. The P stands for individuals who have inappropriate attractions to kiddos. These people are not that AT ALL. They just obsessively worry about becoming one, which results in disturbing intrusive thoughts and unnecessary actions that distance themselves from children whom they are NOT attracted to. Their minds just latched onto the fact that those types of people are the worst and the worry that they could become one. People will self-cancel because of POCD. It's bizarre how an anxiety about something can spiral into a belief and actions.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

If you didn't get invited, you aren't a guest. And even if you were invited, you don't need to pay for somebody else's wedding. Over budget? Whose fault is that?

[@katie6731]

Story 1: I've probably heard too many Reddit stories, because I'm seeing huge red flags. I'm wondering if there's more going on with Sarah's relationship than OP knows. I don't know why it's triggering my spidey senses. Maybe it's something about Sarah uninviting OP, when--by OP's account--she and Sarah were close enough that OP would normally have been a bridesmaid. The way this kind of set-up often plays out is: Sarah's husband is abusive; Sarah's then-fiancé makes Sarah cut her guest list to push her from her support system away (how many people at the wedding were Sarah's husband's friends and family?); when the people who were uninvited still want to be in Sarah's life, the husband starts needling Sarah about the cost of the wedding and honeymoon; at some point, Sarah starts to buy into his manipulation and reassures him that she'll figure out how to get the money; Sarah turns to the people she trusts, because she can't admit that she shouldn't have married her husband. Or something like that.

[@NotAFanOfHandles]

Story 1: If you didn't go, you aren't a guest. You don't have to pay for other people's luxuries. But, uh, at 10:10 "she helped me when I was... low on money." Did, um, did that involve her giving you money? If so, did you pay her back? Because that is a very relevant point if she had and you hadn't. ETA: Story 2: Yeah, that sounds like schizophrenia. Now I'm blaming the parents because they should've made sure he got the right diagnosis and thus the right treatment and it's clear they never did.

[@only1one1me]

Story 1: It sounds more like schizophrenia than anxiety.

[@lindaindallas3356]

1st Story, I hope OP lets her friend know it felt like a betrayal of trust. If you explain the hurt and they say you are over reacting it’s time to cut the friendship.

[@JJ-pb1rf]

Story 2: Reddit psychiatrists are amazing. There are a multitude of anxiety disorders and personality vulnerabilities/disorder that can mimic this. Not to mention some spectrum disorder tendencies that somehow I see on the story. It’s amazing how they can conclude that something is and isn’t on a story.

[@infjandcoping4614]

Traditionally, a wedding is a public way to announce your major change in life. You invite everyone who you want to celebrate with. Either as an acknowledgement of the change, or whom you want to share the joy of the occasion with. If you don't make the cut of a guest list... you are not valued as being worthy of a spot in her new future. You are a 'childhood friend'. And that is fine. But to turn around and ask someone who was either demoted or fired for money... eww. Traditionally, gifts for the wedding or bridal shower are usually household items to start your new life off with well wishes. (Personally, I don't care what the ages of the bride and groom are, or if they both have been adults for awhile with actual adult homes. Nice new towels are better for the new couple than money for their honeymoon and coming home to dry off with his ratty old bachelor grody towels.) I know that there are cultural, religious, or family tradition reasons to gift x amount of cash. And that is fine. The gift giver should be able to do what they feel they wish to do. But for the bride/couple to make demands seems greedy and gold digging. Their wedding is an event that they chose to host. They literally chose every thing fully knowing the price, before they chose it. Contracts spelling everything out were signed months beforehand. If they chose to blow their budget... that was their choice. They knowingly did so. They should not expect guests to pay for their poor planning and decision making. Especially their actually disinvited guests.

[@terriebtsOT7]

Cheaters project cheating to cover their own guilt

[@ssga_tgbuddy3082]

Story 1 - OP mentioned that the Bride helped OP with a Loan in the past. But she never clarified if that loan was paid back.

[@linola644]

For the last story, this is not anxiety, it's delusional paranoia.

[@benjie128]

My grandparents had brown eyes. My mom and her brothers have blue (mom), hazel and brown eyes. My dad had brown eyes. Both of my siblings have brown eyes. My eyes are greenish brown. Genetics are weird.

[@burntblonde2925]

You work 2 jobs when you have financial trouble. You don’t ask other people to pay

[@dre1978]

Honestly, if you've read on extreme cases of anxiety then this kinda does fit the bill. Although extreme anxiety can often be a symptom of something else it's not always the case. If you read "Turtle All The Way Down" it's honestly a great example of extreme anxiety mostly centered around one thing. In the book it was germs, the character drank hand sanitizer because she couldn't stop thinking about all the germ inside her and needed to get rid of them and they also had a extremely hard time believing the people around her wanted to help due to her anxiety

[@defender4004]

Story 1 So the bride and groom went over budget. Apparently bad enough to ask random acquaintances (they aren’t guests as they haven’t been invited) to give them money - AND THEY STILL PLAN ON GOING TO A HONEYMOON? Why don’t save money and cancel the honeymoon? Loads of couples never had one.

[@Microondah]

FedoraMarkee! PirateMarkee! The markeeverse keeps expanding!

[@kaykay8855]

Story 2: When will people learn that genetics are a lottery, especially if the parents are from different backgrounds.

[@trillionbones89]

The ones that have learned, are not complaining about it. He literally learned during his own survey that multiple parents did not look much like their children, but instead of thinking he could be in that minority - he went overboard. Misunderstood genetics are not the reason for his delusion.

[@Zaddy-Lu]

PLEASE watch for updates on that last story, I am really curious what the brother gets diagnosed with (I am entirely sure it's more than anxiety and that the parents are in denial, and I'm betting they never took his to get a psychological evaluation) and if his marriage is able to recover.

[@seraglioborneo2803]

S1 When quantity = number of friends matters more to OP than quality of friendships. I bet there were red flags even earlier which OP ignored because "we are best friends"!

[@heatherweir8726]

Story one. Op to friend. Hahahaha. Oh you're serious let me laugh harder HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

[@Zanzetihunter]

Story 2. I know cheating happens, but the fact his only "proof" is the daughter doesn't look EXACTLY like him, but does look like her mother, is insanity.

[@amypest1976]

Story 2: Genetics is crazy wacky fun. I have B/G twins born 2minutes apart. Baby A (Boy) is a carbon-copy of SO but blonde & blue eyed. Baby B (Girl) is a good mix of both SO & I but favors SO a shade more in looks but more in her personality. She still got my crazy curly hair, though. Boy was a surprise bc of the coloring being sort of a wildcard. SO is **very** Jewish so seeing that totally opposite coloring floored us. I can't even use the milkman as an excuse unless it was really the challah man. 😂

[@BoxOKittens]

Story 2: I'm an eldest daughter who looks nothing like my dad. My younger brother does though. This weird myth is stupid.

[@carlacampbell2430]

That’s not anxiety that paranoia and as such is much more dangerous

[@JoltaeAndwae]

I would make a go fund me poll "Here's the situation, if you think it's reasonable please donate 2£'s"

[@UnicornOfDepression]

#1: "No. I was _UNINVITED_ from your wedding. That is why I will not be contributing a single fucking penny towards your wedding/honeymoon/future expenses. Ask the people who attended your wedding, or were actually invited, for money."

[@skylazer4065]

Genetics truly are wild. My mom has brown hair and brown eyes, my dad has black hair and blue eyes, and my little brother and I both have blonde hair and blue eyes. Though my little brother has dark blonde hair, while I am regular blonde

[@SalsaRimjob]

It's a red flag in of itself for someone to obsess over having their "dream wedding" that they end up going way over budget. It shows a blatant disconnect from reality. Most of the chicks that do this end up getting divorced, mainly by their own hand, after a few years. These people should be avoided, both romantically and platonically. That level of selfish delusion should not reproduce, let alone encouraged.

[@abeal49]

Bride couldn't afford her wedding, groom couldn't afford honeymoon. Each of them thought the other was wealthy. That marriage is doomed. Sit back and wait for the implosion then be ready to help her pick up the pieces

[@TheScaletIbisNW]

Story 1: she is not your friend. If you get cut from their wedding you are not considered a friend. She also had the audacity to ask for money after being uninvited. I have a hunch she has a history of using you and this is so big you can't ignore it.

[@carlrood4457]

The paternity thing could just be anxiety or even just not understanding genetics at all. Howevert it sounds more like paranoia if he was concerned about being stabbed with pens in school.

[@Kittinlil]

1st story. NTA OP and do not let her use the whole selfish thing. It was selfish of her to over spend on a budget when she already knew it was an issue. Expecting others to flip the bill because she was not willing to be smart and make better decision is a load of crap. If they could not even make a reasonable budget had hold to it for the wedding, they should not have gotten married when they did. Their mistakes and theirs alone. IT's not yours or anyone else obligation to give them anything.

[@srsmedic8285]

When I start sliding into a milder manic episode I get very paranoid too. I think everyone hates I do things like unfollow all my friends and family on social media.. I won’t return texts or phone calls.. stuff like that

[@Mooskym]

"It's common knowledge that the first-born always looks more like the father" (or something like that) - This story here is literally the first time I ever heard such a claim. That statement is absolutely bonkers, and the only possible way someone can believe that is if they had zero (or even negative) sex-ed... so basically 2/3 of Americans.

[@lorifiedler13]

Dang. That man cant put the genie back into the bottle after accusing his wife of cheating and the daughter not being his. When he finds out he is the dad, it will be too late to salvage either relationship. As well as the relationship with his parents and sibs.

[@DrawciaGleam02]

Crazy thing is, I've seen constant advice to DEMAND paternity tests on forum threads. I don't often see fallout like this on Reddit stories.

[@amethystanne4586]

Story 2 ….. How genetics play out is an interesting thing. I always wondered who I “took after”, until finding a box of old pictures in our parents’ attic. In the box were lots of pictures of Dad’s parents. One picture was of Gramma and her sister, with how the shadows played out across their faces……I swear that Gramma and Dad’s faces were almost identical. We found another picture of Gramma at age 16/17. My OldestDD and YoungestDD look so much like her they could be identical triplets.

[@ruthsaunders9507]

#1. Her friend is goofy. She needs to do what she can afford. You don't hit up your "friends" for the unnecessary extras.

[@jam2727]

Story 1: Something about how OP kind of glosses over being financially supported for a time makes me think there's other things she's not including, like the underlying issues she mentions. Not saying it's automatically wrong to not help out, it just depends on *how* much the other friend was actually helping and I don't really think she asked *everybody* because that means she's /that/ disconnected from reality but also helped OP that much (emotionally and financially) while she was struggling. Maybe I'm just a skeptic though, if everything's true then NTA