r/AmITheA**hole For Becoming a Mega-Karen?

r/AmITheA**hole In today's episode, OP is a parent of a child attending middle school. The school takes away her kid's phone, so OP drives to the school to get it back. However, the school refuses to hand it over. OP becomes enraged because it's her daughter's phone, not the school's phone, so what ride do they have to keep it? She activates Karen mode and makes a scene in the principal's office until they give back the phone. Is she the butthole here?
🍑 r/AmITheA**hole For Firing My Spoiled Son After He Stole From My Company? • r/AmITheA**hole For Fi...
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"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), License: CC By Attribution 3.0

[@rSlash]

The phone story is is like Suicide Squad! Even though Karens are evil, sometimes they can use their powers for good.

[@Garvity69420]

Hi

[@lukebodden8618]

Hello

[@TechnoKid10]

This is a case of not all Karen’s are bad

[@saulgoodman3496]

Yes

[@Whazgud]

@@TechnoKid10 y e s

[@amyscottishpotatoqueen7932]

The first story, she literally said that she did not sign anything saying the school could take it. The school has no rights to take it for longer than the school day and I would honestly consider it theft.

[@NicholeParker]

I know, that signing part people keep bringing up makes me mad because she says they didn’t sign for it at all. Also I feel like it’s still legally murky for schools to hold personal property for excessive amounts of time aka after school hours but I’d have to look into that and it would probably vary by county and city and state and country, and I don’t have the time or care to do that lol

[@bluestreaker9242]

So the school LITERALLY would have been stealing, then. Did OP specify if this was an American school, because it sounds like something one would do, ngl. >.>

[@nationalinstituteofcheese3012]

Imagine getting a speeding ticket and not only do you get a ticket but they also take your car for 2 weeks.

[@susanaworth5667]

In most places it’s actually a felony if it over a certain amount of money so “holding” 500 or more dollar phone could be considered a felony charge

[@ratskelll]

It's also really dangerous! In my country, often you have to get a bus that won't wait for you if you're a few minutes late, so kids could be left stranded with no way to contact their parents. For example, when I was in year 7 (11) I got a phone for safety reasons, as I'd got accepted to a school that was an hour car drive away due to my scores on their test. I didn't have money, as you use your thumb for school lunches, and I wouldn't have had a clue which bus to get asides from my regular bus that dropped me off at a train station. Then in the darker months, I'd have to walk home from a train station in the dark. My phone meant I could google bus routes, call my parents if I missed the bus, and call the police if something awful happened on that dark walk home.

[@leandrogaldeano7731]

2:00 OP did NOT Karen her way out of it. She fought for her property. She was actually entitled to ask for it.

[@JustinSaysRadio]

She fought for HER DAUGHTER'S PROPERTY.

[@sabersz]

She Karen'd her way out of it rightfully and understandably, at minimum.

[@Second_of_four]

A teenager water plants with bleach to “get even” is not a mistake. A mistake would be like if he accidentally used hot water and burned the plants or something, but doing something on purpose with malicious intent is not a mistake. OP was totally reasonable to cancel to trip. Actions have consequences

[@nope6021]

My friends ex-roommate did this to them. She was crazy; like she left huge messes everywhere, and then yelled at people for tidying up, saying "Don't touch my shit!" When my friend went on vacation, she watered their plants with bleach to "get back at them" for telling her to not be a fucking slob and leave the house a mess. There's no way anyone could do that on accident. Bleach smells!! Strong!!

[@eksboks148]

Yes, it actually was a mistake. Mistake: Something that you regret/shouldn't have done, Accident: Something that was done unintentionally.

[@Second_of_four]

@@eksboks148 a mistake is actually defines as “an action or judgement that is misguided”. He did it on purpose, he knew exactly what he was doing, there was no “I thought this would be fine but turns out I was wrong” it wasn’t a mistake, it was a malicious action

[@Wander85942]

Is it too far to be concerned he would be that guy to throw acid at someone who rejected him? You know in clouded judgment?

[@alexiaturner9709]

exactly!! plus, he stashed the bottle out of easy finding. it was premeditated

[@chiensyang]

Whenever I hear "isn't apology enough?" I would tell them _If apology is enough, what are prison systems for?_

[@teslagod7221]

or why death penalty used to exist and in some countries still exist...

[@strawberrysoulforever8336]

What about if you apologize multiple times, plus can and do rectify the mistake to the point that it has no consequences, plus the mistake was perceived and not meant? Is that enough? Apparently, a certain author doesn't think so. Also, apparently deleting all your hard work because someone thinks you copied them and apologizing over and over again is still being selfish.

[@Redluna32]

"He's a kid and he made a mistake." Um, no, hun, there are way, *way* too many purposeful actions that kid would've had to have taken to do such a thing to call it that. And "stinks of child abuse"? Looks we know where this kid learned his guilt tripping from.

[@avamasquerade]

His apology and "that should be the end of it" while doing nothing to make it right *and* repeatedly hurting the victim again and again while accusing the victim of being the abusive one is right out of the abuser's playbook...almost like his mother is conditioning him to be abusive...

[@Lans32485]

"He's a kid and made a mistake." No...at 16 he's way past the cutoff point for that excuse.

[@helixxia9320]

yeah an it wasn't like an accident, it was a delibarate choice and plants are expensive. how else is a kid going to learn right and wrong without punishment. wasn't even a harsh one

[@helixxia9320]

simple punishment isn't abuse my gosh

[@Espenfalls]

Sad story but my parent made this excuse for my brother when he was 16 when he did something that'd get him on a list. Parent's shouldn't make excuses for their kids past a certain age, especially for big things.

[@shoegal623]

The mom made me so angry. I hate parents that are spoiling their kids like that. No wonder we have so many narcissists in the world 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@eisenklad]

agreed... i bet his mother and Bio-father let the internet raise him.... i remember when these stupid pranks were all the rage a few years back. well, it still happens but its mainly by tiktok users now

[@jacobfuller6530]

that school in the first story is asking for lawsuits. yea schools should be able to take phones DURING SCHOOL HOURS. but they have to give it back as school ends. that school administration is so stupid.

[@ReigoVassal]

They must be runs by only boomers who think that phone is unnecessary and just for games.

[@sharkygirl8264]

My school had the june box man, i thought that was common

[@smashrosa8111]

@@ReigoVassal That's true but a lot of kids in school use smartphones mainly for social medias or games.

[@sketchiscribblr8285]

I'm pretty sure a lot of schools have similar policies. Mine did (graduated 2015) and it was 2 weeks, and that was if the teacher even admitted to having it and turned it into the office. The assistant principal would have an assembly the Friday of the first week going over phone policies, that they didn't care if, for example, you were a cheerleader and needed to call your mom to get you after practice. If it was on school property and not off and in a locker, they were taking it for 2 weeks. One girl got hers back to find that, when her battery was charged back up, the office secretary had signed her up for all kinds of mailing lists My response was to just keep mine in my bra. Those cameras dont pick up sound but they'll sure as hell get you touching me.

[@smashrosa8111]

@@sketchiscribblr8285 I live in France and my school a kinda strict policy concerning Phone but not at this level. We were allowed to use them on school grounds (until a bunch of idiots posted videos of others without consent) but not inside buildings except for emergencies. It's kind of weird for a school to not let students call their parents.

[@franl155]

Deliberately putting bleach into a watering-can and then watering all the plants was no "mistake", no "error in judgement"; it was vindictive spite over not getting his own way with publicly humiliating OP in the video. "I'm disabled, how dare you not disable yourselves for my wedding to make me look better!"

[@ashh4929]

Right? If you can pop off that sentence in it's full context, you're damn sure old enough to know you don't do things like this to "get back" at someone for *another* "error in judgment" you had and you're old enough for real world consequences.

[@Crow_Smith]

For the phone story: I've had schools confiscate stuff that I NEVER got back. Ever. Ever ever. They never even gave it to my parents. Sure, my stuff was small like a deck of cards [collectable neopets cards - they barely sold them and I don't think you can even get them anymore, they were a lot like Pokemon cards but they also gave you real rewards on the website], and even a nice pen. I was never personally allowed to get them back and they supposedly had had my parents come pick the items up. And in one case some kid that went to sneak his phone back, ended up taking EVERYTHING in the desk drawer of a teacher with the phone so he got a lot of "Confiscated" goodies including another student's phone [this is when smart phones had just become a thing, and he didn't have one] as well as candy, some toys and other stuff. I don't remember everything in the desk, just vaguely about what else had been taken and because when he was caught he actually got in actual trouble because iPhones/Android smart phones were actually hella expensive then too - and the person who owned the phone's parents pressed charges since he actually sold the phone. That was like 6/7/8th grade too - he never came back to school after that so I imagine the punishment was probably more than "just a fine" or something. But yeah, I've experienced and heard of countless horror stories of stuff being lost/stolen after given over. To the point I remember the COMMUNITY COLLEGE I went to, if they had electronics handed over to them, it was literally kept in a locked cage at the back of the security office. Like I legit felt like I had walked into a tiny prison. [I left my iPod in the bathroom on accident and thankfully someone turned it over to security] I had to and was able to describe it perfectly and unlock it with the password, only then was I allowed to have it. The worst part is I had just changed the lock screen so I 100% forgot what it was so almost thought it /wasn't/ mine but they had me tell them the password and when it unlocked handed it to me after having me sign a form to assure that it was 100% mine and it asked for a bit of contact info just to be sure. [Nothing the school didn't already have mind you]. That's like the only place I ever felt like "If something was confiscated from me, I'd know it'd still be there when I could officially get it back"

[@ThEjOkErIsWiLd00]

...wth was their reasoning for confiscating your PEN???

[@Crow_Smith]

@@ThEjOkErIsWiLd00 If I remember correctly it was a distraction because it was getting some attention since that was like 6th grade so people didn't have fancy nice pens. Then again I also had like 0 friends at that time and I often got in trouble for things I didn't do. Ex. I was suspended, and came back from suspension to hear that they suspended me longer, because two kids got in a fight and claimed I started it - I wasn't even in the same town during my suspension since I was sent to my dad's ... my dad had a nice word with the school and they didn't continue that suspension. So it's possible that someone lied and said I stole it or something - that one is the only one I'm not 100% on the details for.

[@scheneli000]

That is DEVASTATING about the Neopets cards. I'm so sorry

[@SakuraKotoni]

This is not a recent thing. My mother had a lot of supplies get confiscated then go 'missing' and that was when my mother lived a lower middle class lifestyle so the stuff could be replaced somewhat easily. By the time I came along, my mother was living very lower class (not her fault) so she made sure to label near enough EVERYTHING since she knew she wouldn't be able to get anything replaced right away if it got taken for any reason, and she could say, "Look, this has my daughter's name on it, it's hers, please return it." She learned from her being a kid. There was actually one time she sat in the reception herself and refused to leave until a toy I'd brought with me to school without her knowledge was returned to her (as it was precious to me, looking back it was absolutely a comfort item from my at the time undiagnosed autism) and the school did have the audacity of claiming it belonged to the school, until she pointed out the label. She punished me for taking it because it was against school rules, but didn't want me to lose it either because it's my toy that she got for me that I loved and took everywhere. As an adult, I have my IRL name on the lock screen for my phone, login screen for my laptop, etc., in case I do end up leaving them somewhere as I am scatterbrained. My IRL name is very distinctive and unique so if it's somewhere like a university, they'll be able to find my details with ease. Her habits have become my habits.

[@Crow_Smith]

@@SakuraKotoni Yeah, in high school a teacher pulled out an engraver and engraved our names in all of our calculators and calculator covers because TI-81/4s were like $100 and he was like "I am doing this so if you ever have it taken BY ANYONE not just a student, you have your name on it all over". Someone suggested putting it on the inside of the battery panel too because the other 2 were obvious but if it was removed from there, it'd be clear someone in that room took it. Legit someone got theirs back after a teacher took it because of that one in the battery compartment as the teacher sanded the other 2 names off. Sadly only a slap on the wrist because his family couldn't afford to press charges over "just $100" but no one ever trusted that teacher again and they quit by the next year.

[@Synthmilk]

First story: Not a Karen. Badass mother, yes. Second Story: dump the boyfriend, there is no possibility he's a decent person.

[@MrKingArthurhk]

I ran into the cell phone problem years ago when my daughter was trying to text relevant information about pickup and bus problems. My wife tried to argue that it was school policy. She has always been a rule follower no matter how ridiculous. I argued they can either return our property, or I was going to Jack the principals ride up and take all their tires. She argued that would be stealing. I replied, exactly.

[@nobodyofconsequence6522]

I beg you to tell me it came to that

[@terra_the_nightingale135]

You sound wonderful

[@CreativeCreatorCreates]

👏👏👏

[@sabersz]

Fuck yes hahahaha I love it.

[@GamerSapss]

As a substitute teacher, I would probably stick to the "keep the phone until parents come get it" rule, but keeping it for 2 weeks? no way that is going to fly, and if the parents didn't sign an agreement, the moment I heard that I wouldn't be able to take it back again, I would sue for grand larceny

[@supervegito2277]

Yeah im wondering if confiscation for 2 weeks is even legal. Confiscating until parents can get it, i can understand, but 2 weeks? That feels a bit too close to theft for my comfort.

[@tenyaiida4694]

And say the school lost or broken it they won't repair it or pay for it

[@ZombieSazza]

And if the school forces the students to sign a contract stating their phone will be confiscated for 2 weeks? Well that contract is null and void. Minors cannot sign contracts, so if the school tried forcing under 18’s to sign a contract to hold onto their property for asinine reasons, then that would be illegal. Hell holding their phone for that length of time without a contract is illegal, it’s essentially theft because they almost never let the mother, the legal owner of that property, to collect her property.

[@DeathProductions200]

@@ZombieSazza oh boy, plus if a contract is signed by force, as an adult, it is void. And since schools force all contracts of the school to be graded it by nature is coerced into being signed, thus you can't even say it counts if the daughter signed it at 18. I remember having an F in class because I refused to sign the contract that a teacher made saying "no phones under any circumstances in my class" because if my family needed to contact me, they are not going to call the school unless I direct them to. They don't know how the process works (admitted it to myself even though I despise them for abuse which is another reason why I needed that phone to know what to expect when I get home and mentally prepare myself) I got yelled at constantly, and eventually she had to change her rules because so many kids complained. We are adults in the senior year, treat us like it or simply, don't teach seniors in high school. If we are on the phone, kick us out like a work place would. Simple as that. My boss tried to "hold phones during work hours" and I told him if they have adults, he must treat them like adults, and same with the minors and he shut up really quickly. The reason why, I was texting my family that I was going to be late a bit because it was busy, even though I was way ahead of what the place needed.

[@PrincessAries86]

@@DeathProductions200 If people had self control it be fine or the mind to use the phone out of the view of customers but some people don't care and will whip out their phone on the job. The problem is instead of punishing the one person who is the troublemaker everyone gets punished.

[@dracko158]

Principal: *"I am not giving back the phone, what are you gonna do about it?"* OP: *Threatens him with the police* Principal: *Surprised Pikachu Face*

[@mrn234]

Its just weird. They can keep it for the lesson or day but not for weeks ...

[@jay_vee96]

@@mrn234 I agree

[@emanymton7184]

I have been working for a private company doing schooling for young adults and teenagers. We had a policy that every electronic device had to be put in a box on my desk at the beginning of the lesson. And at the end they could get them back. But if they didn't deposit them and were found out the device would be confiscated till the next day. Then they would get it back. Everyone knew and was OK with it. Any time longer IMHO constitutes theft and should get the person arrested. Op did the right thing in my eyes, tho she was way more lenient than me. I would have told the VP he had 5 minutes to produce the phone or I would have him arrested for larceny. I would be pressing charges against him personally, the principal and the board. Larceny, reckless endangerment of a minor, aka a big fat lawsuit. And I would go public with naming names. I don't think they would be keen on having to deal with the justice system and bad pr.

[@bostonrailfan2427]

guess he didn’t consult with the solicitor

[@johannam5833]

@@mrn234 At a specific 'school' I went to to redo a specific school education (It wasn't a real school, just a specific program for teens to redo their simple school education / or get a higher school education (both in less time than normal) and on top to get a volunteers job at the end of the program or maybe even end up with a contract for a company) we were allowed to have our phones close to us eg. in our bags or jackets, but not openly on our tables. When it was break time of course we could pull them out, but as soon as classes started we had to put them back in our bags. However when we were about to write a test we had to put our phones in a little carton that the teacher held out for us to put our phones into, then the carton would be put on the teachers desk, I know risky, but nothing ever happened and depending on which teacher we had a student could either get their smartphone directly after they were done with the test but had to then leave the room (to not disturb the others) or they could choose to wait until everyone had finished the test, then everybody got their phone back. Kinda risky letting the smartphones sit in an open box at the teachers desk, but again, nothing ever happened. All of us students were at the time in an age rank from 15 to 20, so we all were kinda respectful of others property. Especially also because this wasn't a real school like highschool.

[@kwams26]

Story one: I can see some creepy older teacher getting ahold of one of the confiscated phones and getting raunchy pictures off of them for blackmail/personal use/etc....

[@TheMadagascarqueen]

Wow. I was thinking of them stealing personal stuff like accounts and passwords, but that's much worse🤢

[@onettaviator5396]

Eugh

[@mariposa9506]

Also if your teen has raunchy pics on their phone it's time to become a VERY involved parent.

[@_LunarDragon]

@@mariposa9506 As long as those raunchy pics are only of themselves, and they aren’t sharing them, I don’t see the problem.

[@dustyrose192]

@@_LunarDragon techinally that still counts as cp

[@imnotsuspiciousshh]

Bruh the parent of the 16 year old that killed his plants let him off easy. He is not just a kid, he is a teenager. He KNOWS better. He just also knows his mom wont do jack shit when he does something wrong. OP's wife/kid's mom is a pushover and is totally wrong in that situation. OP is justified in cancelling that trip and it is NOT his fault.

[@QuertyQw33n]

yeah, I know that 16 is technically a kid, but only technically. 16 is old enough to no better on a lot of stuff, especially of the malicious variety.

[@shadow4you]

A 9 year old sleeping in the parents bed? Oh hell no. You can love your kids all you want but they need independence as they get older. Once my son turned 3, we got him bed and taught him to sleep there. He's happy with how we decorated it with stars and space and always looks forward to bedtime.

[@someoneidk308]

It's a difficult issue. My mom and little sister had the same problem. My little sister had SEVERE attachment and fear of abandonment issues and literally could not sleep without my mom. She was sleeping in my moms bed until she was about 9? 10? Occasional instances of bed sharing (once a month) up until she started puberty, when she broke the habit entirely. The thing is, stuff like bed sharing when the kid is older is a sign of a deeper issue. Kids often want to sleep by themselves! They want independence. But when your kid doesn't want independence and is having literal panic attacks at the thought of being left alone, that's a real issue that has to be addressed. Not by forcing the child out of the bed- that'll make it so much worse because it'll actualize their fears of abandonment. You do it by getting the kid some damn therapy. My sister needed help. And she got it, and it helped her. I wish we got her help sooner, but I can't time travel. I think the most important thing to realize here is that your kid wants independence. He likes his own space, decorated with stars and his interests. Kids with attachment issues? They're terrified of that. All of it. No amount of decoration, reminders of their parents still being there (like a stuffed toy they gave the kid), etc helps that fear. And you making them go into their room and sleep on their own bed makes them feel like you've left them, you hate them, you don't love them, and you're not coming back.

[@JustStar276]

Despite being quite young still, the rule for me and my brother, we were never allowed to sleep with my mom and my step dad. The closest we'd get was being in the same room on a cott if we were sick. Until I was about 11 or 12(around the time my mom and step dad got divorced and he moved out) when I didn't have a bed for quite some time. I would sleep either on the couch or in my mom's bed with her. I've forced myself to sleep on the couch until I finally got the bed thing sorted out. It is still hard for me to sleep most of the time when I'm not sleeping in her bed, with her.

[@datbadassunicorn2832]

I did the same thing for my daughter.

[@wannabehistorian371]

@@someoneidk308 Why did your sister have that much abandonment issues?

[@someoneidk308]

@@wannabehistorian371 My theory is it stemmed from traumatic experiences. Namely the fact that my mom had medical issues and was in and out of facilities for a while, and there was always a fear she wouldn't come back. It's easy to see how that can affect a young child.

[@jlyo1991]

I would have called the police immediately. Pretty sure theft above $500 is a felony.

[@PLUH676]

our schools give us 3 chances before a confication till the end of the term. that's a semester for americans i think. for some reason noone has lost their phone after the end of the confiscation period

[@bethelzebub5216]

With the plants story, OPs wife needs to get this: the negative experience after doing something wrong is called a consequence!

[@BlueBeetle1939]

Yeah definitely don't send the plant killer to the woods

[@Nerobyrne]

If the kid pulls this crap out in the world, it's first of all a crime, but also there are some people who would just stab you over this. At the very least, beat the stuffing out of the little brat. He needs to learn real quick that actions have real consequences.

[@LeannahW]

Right? Just because a kid is upset after the punishment doesn't mean it's abusive. They're not supposed to be fun lol

[@beaujolaisrose]

Worst part is, is that he decided to get bleach then do it. Like its not a haze of bad judgement- you thought it through on how to hurt the person best at that time. Crazy that a kid could think about doing that and expect things not to blow up in his face.

[@pork_soda_91]

LMAO the fact that the school gave back the phone literally confirms they *knew* they were in the wrong

[@Maverick52093]

For the Dad with the bed, completely NTA. That type of enablement actually does worse for the child if not nipped in the bud. I had attachment issues as a child that were encouraged by my mother allowing my to sleep in the bed with her and my father until the age of flipping 8. It wasn't until then that my father said that was enough and had me sleep in a futon (on the floor) because I was not only restless but I got in between them too often (we didn't have other rooms for me to sleep in as the house was shared with other family members). Up until the age of almost 15 I had a huge issue sleeping alone and would often be overcome with anxiety from being in my own room in the dark due to the feeling of loneliness. What ended up curing this was my mother purchasing me a maternity pillow (a body pillow) that imitated me being close to another body; needless to say I still have one at the age of 28 now and it's tough sleeping without one still.

[@suitdoggy4707]

I had the same issues but instead me and my younger brother would share a room together. An since we were scaredy cats during lights out we slept in the same bed until i was 12 he was 9. After we moved to a bigger house we had separate rooms and my dad insistent we sleep apart. I would be unbelievably frighten and hide under the sheet waiting for morning to finally sleep. I'm 20 and still have problems sleeping alone. It's gotten better though I fall asleep much more peacefully when I hear other people are around.

[@courier-ec6zj]

The one who bleached the plant: Canceling the trip is a perfectly reasonable punishment.

[@ShelbyZealand]

Seriously! What is with the mom? She's raising an entitled future criminal.

[@theickster3008]

@@ShelbyZealand right? And the mom letting her kids that are way too old to sleep with do so every night is gonna cause some long-term issues. What's with the crazy moms today?

[@ScorpiusZA.]

Completely. I also agree with rSlash - he needs to be reimbursed for the plants. That was malicious damage.

[@gaxalee7392]

The claim that he “made a mistake in a moment of clouded judgement” is bs, too. A moment of clouded judgement doesn’t take multiple days to come about and people certainly don’t pull the passive aggressive fake niceties crap literally seconds before, finally, doing some bad thing against another person or their property. This was malicious revenge for not being allowed to embarrass his stepdad online with that prank video because being considerate and respectful of people’s feelings is apparently one of the worst things you could force this kid to do.

[@ReigoVassal]

That's not a reasonable punishment. That's actually a mild punishment, he got it easy. Quite easy actually. That guy need to run from there. There's a lot of red flags and very unhealthy toxic environment.

[@cardhitman89]

The boyfriend in the gift story sounds like he has had "gifts" be used to guilt and manipulate him into doing things for a long time, possibly by parents or a long term previous partner. Dude needs to see a therapist and OP may need to leave if he refuses.

[@hotarubinariko]

In hadn't thought of this, that's a good point. I agree. Either way, seems he's not ready for a relationship. But if he does agree that's a good first step.

[@nightrayneraven1323]

That's what I was thinking

[@Nightlovechild]

Spot on. That is what I immediately thought. That boyfriend has had someone close to him control him or guilt him into doing things. Once gifts are weaponized, people get super squirrelly about things they are given. In a perfect world they could have a discussion that gifts are a hard limit and the boyfriend could address the past with a therapist. But with them being so young if this can't be dealt with then OP needs to leave. OP doesn't need to bear the weight of a trauma that she was not made privy to in the first place. That just perpetuals the line of abuse.

[@frag4007]

For me i love getting and giving gifts its just when you don’t have money to buy gifts back it feels bad because you can take care of the other person. Not saying this applies to the story just giving another perspective for you iys

[@heidtb6746]

Yeah i also thought of it as not that big of a red flag, just a huge insecurity... i mean, still 0/5 for OP, but the boyfriend much likely just needs help

[@AnasThePineapple]

The school cant legally keep the phone, the parent is in the right.

[@jangofett4277]

Yeah and school’s have ridiculous rules for phones so students aren’t absorbed in their phone.

[@liamzakhaev]

yep, school faculty tend to operate on the assumption that their status as government workers gives them the authority to confiscate property that actually belongs to legal guardians.

[@theickster3008]

Yeah., and depending on the price of the phone and the laws of the area its quite possible you could have a case for grand theft

[@siinxkj]

@@theickster3008 ooo you gave me a great idea, many thanks

[@johnnyhuntrero6870]

In my school if the parents didn't sign an agreement and the staff have the phone for more than 3 days or lost it they can get sued for theft because if an emergency happens how are you going to get help.

[@nicholaswilkerson4394]

Second story. Third option. He has dated people before who actually DID use the fact that they bought gifts for him as a manipulative tool to control him. Sounds awful, but it DOES happen. Happened to me a while back.

[@llamaniaman4002]

If that's the case then Rslash's explanation still applies. He's a nutjob

[@aubarlowe]

that's what I was thinking! Regardless, though, it's not healthy for him to immediately accuse OP of it, especially since she didn't even do i

[@justasentientmclarenp1879]

Or fourth option his parents raised him to be that way.

[@zeroxbrother1]

It was his birthday, It's a normal thing, but I understand that behaviour can leave a mark

[@AHVSSR]

rSlash, I have to admit, your videos have changed my outlook on what's right and wrong for the better. I've been way more kind to my parents and have always offered to help them through their problems by talking it out calmly, and I have you to thank for it! I really did used to be a spoiled brat before I saw your videos a year ago so it was a change for the best lmao

[@AlwaysANemesis]

There's a third possible scenario in that second story: the boyfriend might be cheating, and is seeking an excuse to eject out of the relationship. It wasn't something that I was initially thinking, but that line about "dealing with a materialistic girlfriend" raised an immediate red flag.

[@MoA-Reload...]

I think you may have hit the nail on the head. The weird reaction could also be guilt coming out. Still a total scumbag if he is cheating but guilt still a thing

[@BeckBeckGo]

That was my first thought. He’s trying to get out and he’s pissed off because such a generous gift made him feel guilty. “How dare your generosity make me feel guilty for my actions and intentions?”

[@slaanynionysus7420]

THis. Immediately This

[@velvetdarksoul8741]

@@BeckBeckGo huh, my first thought was someone in his life abused the gift giving system and made him feel guilty for whenever he didn't give someone a gift if he was given something it makes alot more sense than cheating

[@AlwaysANemesis]

@Chris G My guy, I was poor, I'm _still_ just over the poverty line, and I've never reacted like this before. I'm not sure what your reasoning here is.

[@moste5921]

As a teacher i can tell: this rule is illegal. Hold the Phone until the Patent gets it, is a grey-zone. But hold it for two weeks. No. How they remember which Phone belongs to whom?

[@1985toyotacamry]

Exactly that's a lawsuit and criminal charges waiting to happen

[@steelrarebit7387]

How you think the principal would get the newest iphone?

[@cheeseycarp5364]

@Chris G also most easy to sell for profit

[@kienphan2784]

@Chris G wait relly

[@sabersz]

I'm very glad my school was lax about it. They just said "get it from the front office at the end of the day"

[@FuckAssName]

Especially now, when phones are really expensive, even the most affordable options, there are less exceptions for that BS "policy" that the school has. Can't justify the phone "accidental" damage to a 500+ phone....

[@velvety2006]

Op was not a karen, she was a mama-bear there is a diffrence.

[@alexxxxxxx6261]

Here’s the thing with co-sleeping. It is a good thing for kids up until about 6-7. After that you have to teach them to sleep in their own bed and be responsible. My 12 year old sister still co-sleeps and she is a nut job in her social life. I don’t blame it entirely on co-sleeping (Story for another day) but I do believe that her co-sleeping has contributed to her lack of social understanding.

[@alliecatxx7921]

Anyone who reads this don’t listen to this moron.. co sleeping is so bad and my friend just had a woman in the hospital days ago who rolled over and killed her child. Be a good parent and actually promote healthy habits with your kids, that means NOT sleeping with you.

[@darlenefraser3022]

Yeah, that’s just freakishly weird. Those kids are going to end up being SO coddled and spoiled that nobody will want to be with them as they get older.

[@AdorableFloof1999]

My little sister would still co-sleep with my mom in high school when my dad was out of town. She's kinda entitled and throws fits over not getting her way a decent amount

[@QueenofTaterTots]

I co-slept with my mom until i was 15, at first it was because we couldn't afford a bed for me but i always had severe monophobia and nyctophobia due to abuse and neglect from other family members and just general mental disorders, but I turned out just fine, very independent and...somewhat socially capable

[@ydrahkcin]

*Punches step-son* "I am sorry for punching you. " Wife cant get angry because he admitted to doing it and apologised.

[@Winterdragon101]

As someone who has a lot of plants and names each and every one of them, that story about the plants hurt me on another level :’) NTA, most definitely.

[@SAJK0KAT]

I wish I was like that.. but I forget or don’t have patience 🙈 but I loooove the idea of giving names and have a “jungle” of plants. I would cry if someone destroyed my babies for a joke 😰

[@SknowBleu]

Most of my plants have names at this point... by the time I've named them and spent months or even years growing them from a small little thing, they are not very replaceable.

[@NyanCatzzz]

Whats the plant's names? :D

[@Winterdragon101]

@@NyanCatzzz We've got Bao and Sato, my tea plants; Mochi and Match, my plum trees; Yasu and Iku, my berry shrubs in the front; and Lucy, my succulent! My vegetable garden have names like "babies" and "bean boys," but tend to have more collective names instead of individual ones :'D

[@lightfurya2087]

One of my friends is like that

[@komandorbentus2731]

Wait! Principal gave back phone quickly after word "police" coming out? And, the school has already a history with lost confiscated earlier student phones? Well...something doesn't smell right. This boyfriend...has some worrying issues, something is off with him... Another story...omg.

[@bluestreaker9242]

Agreed. Methinks they were gonna try and keep the phone or pawn it off; in both instances, that's theft and a major cybersecurity risk, both of which would leave HUGE black marks on the school's image. >:3

[@nightrayneraven1323]

First story: who knows if the school would end up selling it and say that they 'lost' it. 2nd story: the boyfriend could possibly have some childhood trama with the gift giving, he could have been from an abusive family but op is nta 3rd story: definitely not the ahole. I think wife needs therapy for why she thinks it's ok to sleep in the same bed as the kids. Imagine if the kids were invited to a friend's house for a sleepover. 4th story: Definitely not the ahole. Play stupid games, win stupid prize. Also Sean needs an actual punishment for his actions, mama is raising a criminal and op is trying to make Sean a good human. 5th story: NTA holy bridezilla

[@guitarbass22]

First story: completely agree Second story: still a red flag Third story: definite red flag as well…they need counseling and OP should probably rethink his life decisions with her Fourth story: “play stupid games, win stupid prizes” is exactly how I’d describe it too Fifth story: definitely a bridezilla

[@chalkietigger4650]

Agreed ish for the second story but its also possible the dude feels guilty about something and he's angry about how his girlfriend is so caring whilst he did something so he accidentally takes anger out on her or smthn

[@guitarbass22]

@@chalkietigger4650 No. He’s gaslighting and being manipulative. Nothing else to it.

[@ChaoticNalilitoMC]

Not only but that in the comments of the story, some people pointed out it was also probably illegal since they planned to keep private property and whatnot

[@axestellion3787]

This is actually a spoiler comment

[@squeakybeak7832]

Listening to these stories has made me realize that many people have no idea what the word "mortified" means.

[@im_salty4901]

Im a 14 year old girl and the thought of sleeping in the same bed as my parents makes my skin crawl them kids need a better mother.

[@GeneralArin]

I agree with the "Karen" in the first story. Especially if it wasn't signed for or contracted. And for TWO WEEKS. Like holy crap. That's where you NEED to be a Karen. AND maybe go straight to the school board to complain

[@chanaleahsteinberg2645]

I totally agree with that. There was no signed contract whatsoever.

[@SherriLyle80s]

Yep. I wouldnt mind them holding the phone and asking the parent to pick it up in the office. That makes more sense.

[@Young_Baller7]

I also agree like what would the school want to do with the phone. Like it’s dumb and just stealing like who knows who will get access to the phone in the school

[@Starman062]

The only thing I disagree with this comment is calling the OP “Karen”. This anger was justified. Karen’s aren’t

[@Young_Baller7]

@@Starman062 true. Like a Karen is someone who feels like they’re entitled to something. But OP isn’t being entitled, it’s something she paid for

[@maxamillion26093]

If the school relented after being threatened with the police then they know that they’re wrong

[@BubblyBlackbird]

I think it's more about wanting to avoid escalation. You're giving the school too much credit by assuming they're aware of how stupid and reckless they're being.

[@steelrarebit7387]

Or, what else are they hiding?

[@maxamillion26093]

@@BubblyBlackbird You’re not wrong people are stupid after all.

[@Picksflower]

So you're telling me a nine-year-old kid and a thirteen-year-old kid are still sleeping with their mother? Nope not ok

[@onlyzhen]

Alabama type shit

[@steelrarebit7387]

@@onlyzhen Could be or could be separation anxiety, codependent/dependent behavior. Either way, I think some counseling is needed in their lives.

[@secretshadow9515]

I did that til I was 10 or 11 and I can say it cause attachment and abandonment issues for a while at 16

[@R0x__]

6 years old is my limit

[@grimlockgreg3063]

Oh no, Alabama is spreading

[@franciscojaviermendezrinco1902]

Fourth story: He wanted to keep a video of him humiliating OP and then get revenge for taking it down? What are these women thinking when they are defending him?!

[@dwanimations7338]

"teenage girl shouldn't sleep in bed with grown man" Thank you!!!! I've been trying to tell that to my dad for years ((ok that sounds way worse than it actually is)) but whenever he takes us to spend the weekend with him i always end up having to sleep in the same bed and my older brother or my dad because there isn't enough beds and it just makes me so uncomfortable (my brother hates these situations as well)

[@lillyisnthere1305]

the parent was 100% in the right. my school lost my sisters brand new phone within ONE day of "holding onto it". then they refused to pay for it. they only paid when we threatened to sue

[@21BUNNYLOVER]

Where am I?

[@cakepop918]

@@21BUNNYLOVER Not here?

[@secretshadow9515]

I think they sold it because how do they lose a phone and say no to pay it back after losing it, they probably did it to make money off a new phone which is messed up

[@akl2k7]

Wow, and school districts wonder why they're running out of money (of course, terrible government funding doesn't help either)... If only they had given the phone back in the first place.

[@_Fizel_]

Keeping the phone is very illegal. Also I have said this before about co-sleeping. It is actually very bad for the kids. It causes so many sleeping problems later in life.

[@wafflebean9828]

Yeah, I had trouble sleeping by myself until I was 9. Luckily, I got over that but my brother hasn't and he's 18 (he has autism tho)

[@thedoor43]

The wife in the bad back story is like Lysa Arryn from Game of Thrones. Run away as fast as you can. No one over the age of 6 should be sleeping with their parents every night (nightmares are an exception of course)

[@gothicgolem2947]

Why run away in that story tho that seams like something they can work out

[@ARandomSpace]

I had trouble sleeping all the way until 11. No nightmares, but I was just too scared to sleep alone. My secret? My parents... ended up separating and I was treated badly for a while.

[@josiahbotsford3817]

That phone story was insane. When I was a teacher, I just held the phones in a cabinet in my room and handed them back to the students at the end of the day. I think the school had a similar policy, but I told the kids if they give them to me, they won't lose them or get in trouble. It worked well...

[@requiemslullaby3657]

In my senior year, teachers kept taking our phones for similar having on our person (regardless if we were using it or not) and would refuse to return it. One day a senior had a bright idea and refused to hand his over. His threat was that if they touched his belongings he would contact the police for theft. His teacher threatened to take it from him by force but was quickly shut down by the student threatening assault charges. The school pumped it's breaks after that when it came to students that were 18.

[@BlissfulDiamondblaze]

About the phone story: My mom is a Karen. However, there was a time when her being a Karen was used to do the right thing. My elementary school introduced a Lego robotics club which was a pretty big deal because I moved a lot and usually ended up in poor school districts with no access to such luxury. When I heard about it, they said we had till the end of the week to get a permission form and turn it into one of the two teachers running it. One teacher was a chill guy but the other was professor snape as a woman: scary and unapproachable, especially for a 3rd grader. (she even had his hairdo lol) Every single day I asked the male teacher for a permission form but he kept telling me "not yet" or "don't worry about it". My mom would ask me about it too because I wouldn't shut up about it. Eventually, I gained the courage to ask the mean teacher for a permission slip since the male teacher was a no go. Then she told me "Too bad" and said that I should have been more responsible. With my little broken heart, I went home crying and my mom asked me what happened. I explained everything and my mom blew up. I guess she raised hell at the school and the teacher had to let me in. She hated me and targeted me over the other club members alot but my design and notes won us first place in the city competition. Turns out, her constantly enforcing me to take notes over the other students meant I was the only one in the club with usable notes for the competition and my design was the only one with a 98% success rate. She ended up telling me how proud of me she was and said "see? I told you to take notes. " She was definitely a professor snape lol

[@PawsOnTheBalcony]

Wth is up with those teachers? They basically refused to give you a permission form to fill out even though that was a requirement?

[@terra_the_nightingale135]

Think I prefer Snape. Least there’s magic there

[@BlissfulDiamondblaze]

@@PawsOnTheBalcony The male teacher was our science teacher and was supposed to print out copies of the slip to give out but he kept putting it off. The "Snape" teacher wasn't one of my teachers and she was all the way across campus in a separate building. She was the one who was running the club and the male teacher just helped I guess. When I finally went to go get the slip from her, I got lost multiple times and another teacher had to lead me to her secluded classroom, making me miss the timelimit. So, in summary, the male teacher was lazy and chill while the mean lady teacher was a hard ass with high expectations for 3rd graders.

[@BlissfulDiamondblaze]

@@terra_the_nightingale135 To be fair, we did have robots and Lego's so kinda like magic in a kid's mind 😂

[@wannabehistorian371]

Male teacher also sounds like a lazy Kevin.

[@thecountrychemist2561]

Start flushing the pots out with water. You're on a bit of a timer before damage sets in from oxidation and/or salt damage. Plants are very resilient. That bleach will kill microbes in the soil a lot faster than it'll kill the plants. You might have to remove most of the leaves from the plants if too much root damage has occurred. But most should recover if caught soon enough

[@RWAsur]

Good comment, ty

[@sorenthekirin3921]

The first story is a perfect example of how the power of Karen can be a force for good in the right hands.

[@Michaelebills]

The Co-sleeping Story: That is a very unhealthy marriage relationship, if there is one... looks to me, she married the man to pay their way, but no real marriage relationship!

[@jofip9199]

Ok, my mom worked as a therapist with kids that have trouble learning and as they grow up they most likely they will develop some kind of difficulty educational and emotional. So after about 2 years old is best to let them sleep on their own bed

[@talon7132]

2 years ! Oh Hell to the No. My kid was in his own bed from 2 months old.

[@jessicamorgan3568]

I don't love how Reddit pushes therapy constantly, but family therapy might really work in memory-foam-dad's favor. A neutral third party will almost assuredly tell his wife she needs to cut the umbilical cord already.

[@justaperson4656]

I don't mean to push therapy here, but I do believe everybody, regardless of any trauma or mental health problems, even if the individual doesn't have them, can benefit from individual therapy

[@mrlugh]

@@justaperson4656 i 100% agree with you, but there are also "stages of change" to consider. Even if therapy could completely resolve a particular scenario, if the client is not at the right stage, then it becomes counterproductive. I'm not saying you or Rslash are forcing therapy, as I do believe there is a difference between forcing therapy, and advocating for it, and that you are on the right side of that distinction. Raising awareness of the values of therapy can help shift the stage of those who could greatly benefit from it, as not participating in therapy (or other course of action) is akin to doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result each time.

[@justaperson4656]

@@mrlugh I agree with you there, but although therapy can be counterproductive, more often than not its because of stigma the patient has or one party refusing to cooperate. I'm not saying everything can be solved through therapy, just that you can go to therapy to get an outside perspective for any situation

[@luckanzetriel2888]

@@justaperson4656 pretty sure that's what he means. If you force someone on therapy, they're more likely to go with the damaging mindset, while if you only advocate and allow people to change their minds about it passively, they'll go with a more healthy mindset. But I also understand that, sometimes, it's hard to see people cracking their skulls on the same rocks over and over again, when therapy could do so much to help them, it's hard to be neutral in these scenarios specially to people who can relate due to personal experience. So I kinda get why reddit pushes so hard on therapy. Just take it with a pinch of salt, I'd say

[@j.c.2240]

@@justaperson4656 Can we discuss therapy?

[@m.s.252]

The first one is not a karen. She had good reason and was absolutely valid in her demands. And yes every single point that rslash and op said was valid. Who the hell feels safe with all private info in a place where anyone could misuse it and it could have literally life destroying consequences? Hell no.

in my country, teachers can have the phone during the duration of the teacher's class with the student, and once it's over, the teacher has to give it back, if not, he/she can be charged for theft

[@m.s.252]

@ yeah. That's the way to do it. (In my country phones are not allowed in school campus)

[@smithavaz4316]

@@m.s.252 what happen if phone found at shool?

[@smithavaz4316]

School*

[@m.s.252]

@@smithavaz4316 depends on schools . It's mostly warnings but if the school is very strict , even suspension.

[@Godssillyestgoose]

As someone with a houseplant addiction myself, plants are expensive. I easily have $1,000 worth of plants in my house. Some plants even go for $1,000 and are hard to find and get. What that kid did was incredibly unacceptable. I'd be in tears if something like that happened to my plants. Not only are they for looks, but they deeply improve mental health and you can ask anyone who has it as a hobby. What that kid did was excessive damage and disrespectful. They were absolutely justified to give the punishment they did.

[@christiantalbert7460]

“You’re making me feel obligated.” Well duh, that’s how a relationship works.

[@thebaldnerd1989]

For the birthday gift story at the beginning, it’s quite possible that the boyfriend was emotionally abused growing up and conditioned to think that gifts must be repaid. Any gift that may have been given to him may have been used as ammunition in the future for favors or guilt tripping. Just something to consider

[@anionleader]

Yeah, "gifts" with more strings on them than a musical instrument or marionette. Honestly this was my first thought too, why doesn't RSlash see that first?

[@1985toyotacamry]

Very true that can happen.

[@sophdog2564]

That doesn't change the fact that he's being abusive now though. If he isn't emotionally mature enough to recognize that former abuse is what is causing this behavior, then he needs to spend a good while with a therapist before being in a relationship. Working out that issue is not OPs responsibility, it's her boyfriend's

[@nathanr.7375]

@@sophdog2564 totally agree with the therapy thing and not being OPs responsibility. But the comment is more about how RSlash didnt mention this and just said he was being manipulative or nuts, which is kinda... Invalidating to people's trauma? Felt kinda weird to hear, tho its fair, some people just dont think of this sort of possibility if they dont grow up with this sort of abuse. (I did. And im poor. So whenever my friends give me gifts i feel extremely guilty. Fortunately I'm an artist so to "repay" i give them drawings or other hand-made things!)

[@sophdog2564]

@@nathanr.7375 I understand that perspective, but rSlash usually talks as if he's saying things directly to OP, and whatever is causing the boyfriend to be like that isn't relevant to OP (although I would bet that nested in a few layers of comments on the original post, people are talking about that, which is why I wish he'd read some comments in aita videos)

[@Lovuschka]

In Germany, it would be a criminal act what the school does ("Unterschlagung", which is keeping property of others that they found or got otherwise by legal means, such as by borrowing or here by confiscating it from the girl, which would be legal only until school ends for the day.). No clue how laws are where OP is.

[@Nerobyrne]

I'm German and I didn't know what Unterschlagung meant, thanks!

[@xStarCandyx]

Also in Germany after the teacher taken or unterschlug your property and someone stole it from the teacher, then you are out of luck since the teacher is not responsible for “schul-fremdes eigentum” and since a teacher is also a staate employee or beamter like the police they would not do anything. He was also the vice-principal Getting a phone back nowadays is probably easier then when i was in school.

[@theoryofeeveelution]

So for the plant story let me see if I have this straight: OP's son damages, possibly even kills, OP's plants as obvious revenge for making him delete the prank video and OP's wife considers OP an a-hole for taking away something their son was looking forward to as punishment? Exactly what world is OP's wife living in?! OP you are in no way the a-hole. It was a punishment that very much fit the crime (and yes it is the crime of destruction of property) that your son committed. OP's son is exhibiting clear signs of entitlement and it needs to be nipped in the bud or he will face much worse problems as an adult. Imagine if OP's son did this to the property of a stranger. They would not hesitate to press criminal charges against OP's son and then his life is potentially over. OP you and your wife need to make it crystal clear that what he did was very wrong and why you punished him the way you did. However don't end it with just the punishment. Sit down and talk with him man to man. Explain to him why it was wrong, how it made you feel, and maybe even request that he helps you plant and care for new plants. Once he has, in your eyes, done enough to redeem himself then surprise him with the trip that was initally taken away. This can be made into a teachable moment, both that actions have consequences, saying sorry isn't enough, and redemption is earned. OP I hope that you and your family come out of this much closer. Good luck :)

[@animatedbymuddy6837]

agreed

[@ArcanineEspeon]

You've really thought this out, and I don't see anything wrong with what you've written down.

[@theoryofeeveelution]

@@ArcanineEspeon why thank you. That story really did get me thinking as I've seen similar situations to this. If my parent (only had one from my teens onward) hadn't imposed consequences on me I could've very likely been this kid. The role parents play cannot be understated. Without mine I would very likely be on the street or worse. So it's stories like this that really hit me right in the heart. Oh as a side note I love your username. Espeon is my second all-time favorite Pokemon, only behind its pre-evo Eevee :)

[@theoryofeeveelution]

@Jose Orozco That is a good point, however if there wasn't any sort of father/son dynamic there I am very certain the wife would've immediately vetoed the punishment. From how I read the story OP is more a father to this kid than their biological one even if not related by blood. My bio father and I had a very strained relationship so trust me when I say blood is not always thicker than water. I'm certain that deep down both the son and wife know it's the right move, however the son doesn't want to outwardly admit it, especially since he is being punished, and the wife doesn't like to see her child upset. I almost want to look up that story on Reddit to see if there's an update. Also 69 likes on my post? NICE! :)

[@greenmind3488]

First story, that is an unlawful seizure of property, and that school/school administration can and should be sued into the ground for trying to pull that kind of shit.

[@zebrahunter6956]

"we'll wake up face to face with dog butt." Me, in a childish mindset: hehe what if the dog farts at that moment, lol

[@coo_coo_]

“am i the butt hole for buying birthday gifts” um….. what?

[@insu_na]

To be fair, I'm always on the other side of this. I like to give generous gifts to my friends, but I'm always worried that it makes them feel like they need to reciprocate "in kind" or something. It's not my intention and I always state very clearly that I don't want any gifts in return (because I don't, it actually is uncomfortable to me to receive gifts)... Can't see into the minds of people.

[@thekingnerd6639]

2nd story, 3rd possibility: bf grew up in family where if someone got you a gift, you had to get them one of equal value

[@skysight1553]

Yesh i am from a some type of family like if someone from the neighborhood send food or something my mother would have me go buy stuff and send food as well and usually in the same plates the food came in its like a ritual or something that plates cannot go empty to somebody who send gift but it good for me i got to eat the neighbors food then mothers food and usually its like meat stuff so nice

[@Inspectorzinn2]

but still how is that an issue? Is he that broke he can spring $40 for a b-day gift? Like if it was a $1,000 gift, sure, but a video game? Max $60.

[@nerdygirlb3cca549]

Or the bf is from a family where the act of gifting was a manipulation. "You got me 2 presents for our anniversary this year, but last year you gave me 5. I guess you don't love me as much anymore"

[@bellerain381]

The bed sharing issue….the youngest is 9 years old!!!! They are way old enough to be sleeping alone! Hell, I was never allowed to sleep with my parents! (I was the first kid, long story on that and not relevant)

[@alansartrignot]

That quote, “actions have consequences” always makes me paranoid when I’m at work thinking I’m going to screw something up badly or something like that, lol

[@AM-cv9fi]

I hate school's sense of entitlement. Taking a phone without permission is theft. I wouldn't have even talked to the school at first, just showed up with the cops.

[@the_name_is_kat3056]

That first story cell phones can be extremely useful. I had a medical emergency in high school, I had called my mom and ended up passing out in the school bathroom. My mom ended up calling the school nurse while driving to the school. That happened in a matter of 5 minutes no time to run to the office to call.

[@DDonSon1]

Depending on the plant, the health, and size/growth, we are talking a lot of money there.

[@MrTStat]

Plants are not property, they're living being, I consider my plants my pets, Imagine someone beating up your dog, that's how I feel about it, and that how I imagine op feels about it!!

[@Wicked_Lizzie]

1st story, had my blood boiling. My oldest son was born the year Columbine happened (I'm a Gen-Xer) and I've now seen that horror repeated countless times. Both my kids were told to NEVER relinquish their phones to school for ANY reason. They were to tell whoever wanted it that they weren't allowed, to take them to the office, call me, and I'D deal with the issue. That mom was WAY calmer than I'd have been in that situation.

[@Azurko]

The story with the bed is just insane to me. I have a cousin that's currently doing this with her child (another on the way) and it makes no sense why. I've already told my wife that, once we have kids, it's not happening. Cribs in the room is one thing but they will not share the bed with us.

[@insanedeer844]

He can legally drive so imagine he gets in a car accident that was clearly his fault says I'm sorry and makes an attempt to drive off while the police are still there or he pisses off the wrong person and ends up getting beat up

[@emie7275]

imagine thinking its ok to hold someone elses multi-hundred $ private property.. how crazy is that. phones are just as much for safety as they are for fun

[@goku-sangreen4510]

"Multi hundred" that's a new phrase

[@Diviance]

With how much phones cost these days and the fact the parents did not sign anything to consent to this... this could result in charges for grand larceny. It likely wouldn't stick, but it doesn't have to stick for it to be absolutely not worth the school's time to even try that kind of shit.

[@emie7275]

@@goku-sangreen4510 what would you say instead? it gets my point across just fine.

[@soulgazer11]

Holy cow. I've never been allowed in my parents' bed at night. I'd literally sleep on their bedroom floor with my pillow if I had a nightmare. OP needs to make his wife watch some Supernanny!

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

Same, I would come in with a pillow and maybe a blanket and sleep on their floor if I had a nightmare. I even slept on mom's side

[@soulgazer11]

@@SoManyRandomRamblings my dad's snoring was reassuring to me because that's how I knew I wasn't alone, therefore safe. I never had the priviledge to cuddle up to my parents. But at least hearing other people snore doesn't bother me now 😅 actually the opposite

[@songbird-wj4yj]

I and my sisters were allowed in if we had a nightmare, but we stopped that around like age 6 maybe. 9 is too old to have a meltdown about sleeping in their own bed. This mom definitely needs to realize that she’s causing problems for her kids. Can her kids not go to sleepovers because they have to sleep with their mom? I can’t imagine how much the son would be made fun of at school if the kids there found out he can’t sleep in his own bed

[@BeckBeckGo]

I went through a phase around 12 where I demanded to sleep with my mother because I had been touched by an adult. At first my parents tried to say no, and would find me sleeping in the bathtub because the bathroom door to the hallway locked. (A door went to my parents room that did not lock) I recall sleeping with them after that (I don’t remember the bathroom thing) but it only lasted until I got some help getting things back to normal. I think that’s a reasonable thing that might find a preteen in bed with mom. The issue is that a kid that age wanting to bunk with mommy is not normal, and the root cause needs to be addressed. Something is eating that family’s 9 yo. It’s natural to want to comfort him, but sorting out and eliminating the cause should be a concern.

[@akl2k7]

I remember going into their room after nightmares or something when I was like 4, but other than that, I would just sleep in my own bed. Now, I *was* afraid of the dark, on the other hand, so I remember going to sleep as a kid with my light on (mom would turn it off after awhile). No ten year old should be sharing a bed with a parent on a regular basis (the only exception I can think of is if they're sharing a hotel room bed).

[@BrianStorm742]

If any school would ever make it impossible for my hypothetical teen daughter to not be able to reach me, I would fucking RAGE

[@Loverleezack]

The phone thing was tried at my son's school. I gave the school written notice that should they attempt to confiscate the phone whatsoever, even until I picked it up, the police would be called. Kick a kid out of class, give them detention, call the parents whatever. But taking someone's personal property is theft, end of. They ended up abandoning the policy and one of kid's teacher told me I was one of dozens of parents who did the same. Schools need to stay in their lanes.

[@myopinion69420]

first story, definitely not, The school should not confiscate the phone for any longer than the school day, at end of day it should be returned, if it keeps happening, then you contact the parent. Back when I was in high school (early to mid 2000's) the reason I even got a phone was for family emergencies (mothers health issues). that being said, none of the teachers even knew I had it as it stayed in my pocket in class and was on vibrate. As it was a 3315, all I could could realy do on it was text and play snake anyway!

[@yelljal2764]

Yeah. I am almost 100% sure that if the phone isn't given back at dismissal or at least once a parent can pick it up it would be considered theft of property.

[@myopinion69420]

@Sharee Mitchell its been a long time but i seem to remember you held down the power button and it gave you options for silent, vibrate, turn off etc.

[@leviuzumaki3903]

What school thinks it’s okay to hold a phone for 2 weeks honestly a lot of schools actually allow phones during doing work to listen to music because it helps them focus and work. Plus holding the phone that long is a safety risk what if you need to call emergency services or something and you don’t have a phone to call them?

[@DeathProductions200]

Also, some schools are very dangerous for snooping. And since the girl is in high school, at that age, we can only assume what is on the phone. If I had a 16 year old, my first thing would be to NEVER trust the school with a phone for more than 24 hours. Ive heard of some wack stories at my school I went to where a teacher took a kids phone, and started fucking around on it (where he could, the phone was locked thankfully) and the student called him out in front of the class for trying to invade her privacy. Schools need to get with the times, and not be full of dictators

[@heidtb6746]

I know someone who bought their daughter a smart phone, because she got bullied over missing out on Whatsapp etc. So a policy like that is not only a safety concern, but it seperates a child from her classmates causing a lot of bullying... I'm not even sure if that would stop after those 2 weeks

[@ApocalypticEmu]

Gift story: I’ve had friends who didn’t like getting gifts bc it did make them feel like they owed me. This was either due to unhealthy home situations, anxiety, or both. They communicated this and asked politely if I could stick to cards in the future. Conversely, if I really wanted to make them something, I’d ask if that was okay first. The big difference here is that they didn’t accuse me of being manipulative. (Although I did one time convince someone to take a gift by insisting that they were doing me a favor by letting me test out a new pattern, which wasn’t a lie lol.)

[@SAJK0KAT]

You seams like a good friend! I’m like your friend and I really don’t like presents. But I always tell people first so I have never yelled at someone for it. That’s only rude 😂 I get anxiety of gifts and I don’t really know why. 🤷‍♀️

[@suitdoggy4707]

Same with me I am not a big gift fan. anything over 20 bucks will make me nervous to take it to the point where I probably won't even use the item out of fear of breaking it. So I make sure to communicate beforehand for holidays or birthday gifts to just give me something to eat and that'll be perfect.

[@AmaraTheBarbarian]

I have the same thing going on, receiving gifts makes me really anxious because I feel indebted or at least like I'm supposed to, and I'll worry about reciprocating a gift "properly". So getting a gift to me is also like getting the gift of anxiety, which I have plenty of already. And even when giving people gifts where I make it quite clear I want nothing in return I still worry like, that it's not good enough. Conversely I've also never gotten like MAD at receiving a gift, even for someone with gift anxiety that seems like a weird reaction...

[@ThEjOkErIsWiLd00]

I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you're giving me a gift and you then expect to get one in return in the future, then that is NOT a gift. A true gift is given freely and without any expectation of something in return.

[@Leostar-Regalius]

i hate the stupid school confiscation thing, its like "we're going to steel your stuff legally and you can't do anything about it"

[@brysoncerutti9151]

"A school can steal property anyone can steal property" that sounds like an advertisement

[@troberts1]

I looked up the co-sleeping story on Reddit for some clarity. Here are some details that might help making heads or tails out of this from our American/Western perspective. 1) They do not live in a western country and co-sleeping till even 16 is apparently common. 2) Both children are on the spectrum and are in therapy. 3) Apparently OP and his wife finding time for intimacy isn't an issue because he says she's asexual and that they don't get intimate. 4) So the OP's one and only issue is his inability to sleep on the mattress specifically purchased for him for his medical needs without being kicked in the night while also being also able to sleep in the same bed as his wife. 5) He also says he's happy in his marriage and this bed issue, which seems to be solely triggered by how the co-sleeping is affecting his ability to rest, not the co-sleeping itself, is the only problem.

[@ig_4220]

I was like 5 the last time I slept in my parents' bed, throwing tantrums about it at 9 is a problem

[@BeckBeckGo]

It sounds like something is really freaking this kid out.

[@cyclone-studio18]

Sounds like abandonment issues or smth

[@omarbaba9892]

WHAT ABOUT 13

[@stevec3526]

3rd & 4th Stories: Single guy marries a single mother and gets no respect...

[@grungehamster8]

Really? To me the third story sounds like the mom and kids had a routine, the step dad married into it and they never addressed it (even after marriage) until he got hurt. He absolutely deserves comfort, but I see poor communication in this couple rather than a lack of respect.

[@Lemon-jh7gu]

@@grungehamster8 Well I feel as though calling him abusive and forcing him off something he paid for is a lack of respect

[@grungehamster8]

@@Lemon-jh7gu I have to agree with that part People who cry abuse over every little thing are as disrespectful as people who act like providing basic things for their family, like.... A bed for example is anything beyond the bare minimum of what they should do as a parent or partner. I'm on his side as far as prioritizing his health and comfort, but both of their verbal arguments sound like garbage. Neither of them is abusive based on the post though. They should talk about solutions as 2 people again the problem instead of blaming one another. I know it's easier to view a situation from an outside perspective, but I can't understand why he hasn't asked her to buy a second bed. Or better yet, what happened to the bed she was sharing with her kids before he showed up? The kids were in her life first and always will be. If he tries to approach this situation with demands and orders the kids out of the bed, their relationship will suffer. If they can create a comfortable space for the man and his wife to be together along side a comfortable space for her to be with her kids, it seems like everyone would win and there could be a transition to a different sleeping arrangement.

[@Lemon-jh7gu]

@@grungehamster8 Imma have to disagree on neither of them being abusive and while yes I’m not in this situation so I don’t truly know, sharing a bed with children all the way into their teenage years isn’t good for them. Getting your child used to having you by when you’re sleeping is gonna be terrible when they grow up and can’t sleep with you anymore which I would consider abusive.

[@grungehamster8]

@@Lemon-jh7gu I respect your opinion. It seems odd to me personally and makes me wonder if the wife is from a culture that cosleeps more / longer than my own culture.

[@G94Nick]

"hE's a KiD aNd maDe a MisTaKE" He KNEW bleach would kill the plants and actively saught to do so. He's not sorry and this will teach him that actions have consequences that result in punishments. If he tried the "whoops! My bad!" when he's older, it might not end with someone JUST yelling.

[@JLAndersen01]

With the co-sleeping story: my mom solved that real easy. "Oh you want to sleep with us? There is the floor. What? You're cold and want a pillow? Guess what? Those are in your bed." I'd sleep on the floor for an hour or two, get cold and uncomfortable and just go sleep in my bed. Done.

[@saxybrian]

I'm listening to this with my child in bed next to me. Totally feel that posters frustration

[@DreadEnder]

1:40 a kid stole my phone ( iPhone 7) and the teacher confiscated it, they said I could get it back at the end on the day. When I came back they had left WITH IT THEY WERE A 1 DAY SUPPLY TEACHER and I had to move to a new school

[@brandommario2]

Ouch man

[@SpruceOaks]

I imagine you're getting some blowback from your response to the first story but I think you're 100% right. The school cannot hold the phone if the parent, whose property the phone is, requests it back. Good on OP for standing her ground.

[@Asapps]

1st story: For the record at least, They don't have access to her phone's info. It surely is locked, right? No point in not locking your phone.

[@MasqueTheRivals]

The boyfriend gifts story: take the gifts back, return then if they’re such an issue, dump the dude. The cosleeping story: why would you have a bed ir bedroom for your kids if they’re just going to sleep with you? Also, it’s just like a blankie, kids have to grow out of certain attachments so they can progress later as adults, they won’t have something holding them back. Their parents won’t always be around to share a bed, they’ll never be able to move to their own home and sleep normally if they don’t grow out of it.

[@SilverAnemosLupa]

I remember when I was in highschool, if your phone got confiscated, you had to pay the school money to get it back. It was like $5 or $15, i cant remember. Wish I was more aware of things then like I am now bc I would have absolutely been questioning the legality of that.

[@davidward2634]

I refused to give mine up when teachers tried to take it. I told them it wasn’t their property to take and it they had an issue with it they could call my mother. She is the one who told me not to give her property to them since she paid for it

[@graceromero3744]

@@davidward2634 they have authority over you, they can take it, but the parent has to come and get it

[@cheeseycarp5364]

@@graceromero3744 they have a certain amount of authority, not absolute, so the legality of that is very iffy, they can ask you to hand over the phone and provide additional discipline upon refusal, but I really don't think they can legally take it from you, unless it was in some document that the school sends out for parents to sign, which is why OP in the story mentions she didn't sign anything new.

[@Young_Baller7]

What that’s just dumb like your parents bought it not the school. Honestly that is illegal because it’s not school property and it’s not like you broke their computer

[@HaakonTheRayquaza]

the last story: I think i've heard this fairy tale before: that sister sounds like Snow White's mother "you can't be more beautiful than me", really? if she wanted everyone else at her wedding to be ugly then why not dress up as goblins and witches, it'd be a Lord of the Rings themed wedding then

[@Blue2x2x]

This episode, I completely agree with rSlash on everything.

[@delinquents00]

Took a few videos but finally I feel the same way.

[@secretshadow9515]

@@delinquents00 agreed

[@marvelpovs2412]

I agree with the op in the first story. They have no right to keep a phone for 2 weeks! When I was with CYS, they tried to take my phone but my mom went all Karen on them. The only time I approved her being a Karen. They wanted to keep my phone until I was out of the system. Which would’ve been 2 YEARS.

[@FinneganTheCaptain]

For the co-sleeping story: I used to co-sleep with my parents until I was like 7 and then sharing a room with my siblings up until I was a teenager. That led to me having TONS of separation anxiety and I was never able to make it through the night at sleepovers. It ruined my social life and I lost some friends because my severe anxiety from being away from home. That kid needs to get out of the bed before his separation issues get worse. I’m now going to therapy and the separation anxiety is a little bit better, but I still don’t sleep away from home, and I’m 18 now. I don’t think I’ll ever fully recover and I have too many mental health problems and anxiety to move away from my family. I really hope the OP of that story and his wife work on transitioning out of the co-sleeping as soon as possible, because those kids will lose so many opportunities because of this.

[@naluzoniro]

"smartphones nowadays cost like 1000$" *Laughs in 120€ Motorola smartphone*

[@chargable_water]

Laughs with my iPhone 4 on eBay for 1 buck

[@psycowolf7632]

SAME

[@jasmijn-1419]

I didn’t know the kid that destroyed the plants was 16, i thought he was 12 or something. If the mother keeps treating him like that he’s going to turn out bad.

[@vintagecameragirl]

So the second story. My brother couldn't sleep alone, he slept on the sofa beside my mum. Until he was 28! Only then because he had met his now fiancé and she makes him sleep in a bed. Op...put your foot down now!

[@Tobgi_]

That kid humiliated and murdered all their plants and they all think an "iM sOrRy" is enough?

[@POG-ist]

My father also had a work issue that resolve in an injured back. My dad needed about 3/4 of the bed just to turn sides. My mother was extremely understanding and had 1/4 of the bed. They have a pretty large bed so if me or my brother were ever were sick we would be able to sleep there! Absolutely NTA.