AITA For Telling My Brother He Shouldn't Call Himself A Dog Dad?

#AITA #Reddit #Story

[@chloecook4511]

I dated an alcoholic for 7 years. He could function very well while drunk. Most people didn't even know when he was drunk. He once got a job on a reference that sais that he functions well while drinking (he had to do a lot of fund raising at cocktail parties). He died in his early 40's from a heart attack and had significant liver damage. But he drank from the time he got up til he went to bed. One can be an alcoholic and still function.

[@TheVeggiekat]

I’m so sorry for your loss.

[@toxicradiant9858]

I'm sorry for your loss :( my dad was a functioning alcoholic, literally my only family member who was good to me other than my brother. He worked incredibly hard, he was super charismatic and he was the glue to the family and the biggest peace maker. Everyone loved him. He passed away from liver failure when I was 10 and he was 47 there's not a day that goes by that I wished he would have listened to everyone who asked him to give up alcohol....

[@foreignbentley173]

Definitely correct when I was in highschool I had a best friend named Alex he always was drunk lol. He was so normal drunk he pulled up to my house once and told me he helped build it lol (he be drunk building houses too lol) best house I’ve ever seen build too btw. He came to school once sober and lawd he did not look good at all. Him drunk was more coherent then him sober 😂

[@GIChiyo]

So the kid needs to "make a sacrifice for the family" so you can go on a trip for leisure?! YTA, people need to stop parentifying their children and need to stop thinking of just themselves Bindi is going to cut you off when she gets older 100% if you don't change

[@gillianbergh7002]

May God forbid that Bindi ever thinks of leaving the family home , living with a partner or getting married! It's her job to look after he brother and she should be willing to sacrifice her chance of any happiness. If any family members would criticize OP for missing the family reunion they are AHs.

[@everymoviehero9248]

You're making your 17 y/o minor daughter miss an important school event, to make her, who is likely embarrassingly unqualified to take care of a special needs child, step up because, let me check my notes, ah yes, all of this for what sounds like a girls' trip, one day soon, your daughter will stop speaking to you Like seriously, if no one outside of your home will watch the boy, then either stay home or take him with you, don't recruit her to be some 3rd parent 2nd edit, don't you dare try and say she needs to make the sacrifice for family, the sacrifice you're making her make, isn't for the family, it's for your stupid trip

[@lynsthoughts3576]

They have companies for this type of thing a BREATHER for the parents, it's called RESPITE CARE. She just doesn't want to pay for a sitter.

[@socksandpi1264]

My last job tried to reprimand me for "job abandonment" when a coworker carried me on his shoulder as he ran to his car to drive me to the ER after I went into anaphylaxis and the supervisor wouldn't call an ambulance. That coworker (also close friend outside of work) used the Epi-Pen from my bag before running with me, and had to stop half way to the hospital to use the second one I had. Refused to sign that shit. Coworker refused to sign his. Union fought it for us, and got it dropped because it was a medical emergency and almost died twice.

[@thunberbolttwo3953]

Socksandpi that would have been a real easy lawsuit for you to win. That managers incompetence could easily have killed you. He then could have been up on murder charges.

[@BootyCrusader]

Story 1: “there are people who can’t have children who might be hurt by him calling himself a dog dad” oh, like gay people who generally have fewer options adopting/having biological children? Like OPs brother…? Get over yourself… yta

[@damien678]

yeah... it's genuinely devastating to not be able to have kids (at least not as easily) and one way we cope with that is by being parental figures/guardians in other ways.

[@LaunchPadMcQuack4Hire]

Definitely! The OP was an overwhelming a-hole in that situation!

[@SH-qs7ee]

To be fair, the brother says he wants to be able to travel and be spontaneous; neither are things you should be if you want to call yourself parent. If he's calling himself a dog dad, then puts the puppy into a kennel for a month while he goes off somewhere on holiday, I'd be calling bullshit too; this is a person who isn't a parent of any kind.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

Yeah, I kind of paused the video for a second after reading that like… wow OP really is that dumb huh 😂

[@emilybarclay8831]

@@SH-qs7ee you know you can travel with pets or get a pet sitter, right?

[@minagica]

Parentifying hypocrite OP is always the AH, nothing more needs to be said 🤷‍♀️ Parent-shaming is absolutely valid in abuse situations, it's why CPS exists

[@ZombieSazza]

As a completely infertile female: him calling himself a dog dad literally doesn’t offend me. Let him and his boyfriend live his life, just let him live his life

[@BCFBreakfastClubFan]

I also can't have kids, and I find op's assertion that someone like me would be bothered by it to be actually MORE offensive. Of course, I'm a cat mom, so....🤷‍♀

[@Byebyebye-]

As someone who would die if they tried to carry a child: it literally doesn't bother me in the slightest either

[@Nicholem718-1]

That woman is so ignorant I had to stop listening. Very low tolerance for fools.

[@isaiahkennedy6839]

If you have a cat or dog your not a parent your a owner yes like a slave owner u took them from there parents and breed and sale them and yes they love you because you’re the only thing they know and give them food wtf else are gonna do ……THINK ABOUT IT HONESTLY

[@rachelguyer8447]

I'm actually offended because I can't have kids and I call myself a dog mom Because my dog is my absolute child, world.

[@D-me-dream-smp]

The fact the OP claims “I didn’t pressure him but I told him I wouldn’t go to his wedding if his brother wasn’t invited” demonstrates just how much OP is oblivious/in denial over how dismissive she is of poor Isaiah- I have no doubt this is just one of numerous occasions where she has chosen to support the badly behaved brother over the actual victimised one and rug swept simply to maintain the image of a happy family.

[@pippo17173]

Reddit seems to be a haven of horrible family stories. Like I want to know how the fuck are all these family members are raise while the victim family is the only one who is breaking this shitty ass cycle.

[@LaunchPadMcQuack4Hire]

I thought Isaiah was the a-hole/lying brother. Maybe I'm remembering it wrong.

[@ambermcglone4811]

No Isaiah is the bad brother . Daniel is the one with the wedding

[@emilyna753]

The mom saying "I'm not pressuring you to do something you've been clear you wouldn't be doing" while giving an ultimatum... cognitive dissonance

[@kskidspastor]

Didn’t pressure him, just delivered an ultimatum. I really hope OP realized what a huge mistake she was making and apologized and got her nose out of her sons’ relationship.

[@Logitah]

Oh for the love of... my mum called herself a "grandmother" when I started collecting resin BJD-dolls at the age of 15! Anything I take care of and love truly is a granchild for her! I'm not going to have kids any time soon, but my cat is enough for now. ❤

[@ImaNerdANDaGeek]

my parents sometimes referr to me as the dogs 'human sibling'

[@liviwaslost]

@@ImaNerdANDaGeek lol

[@JustAthena1]

I told my mom that my dog is her grandpuppy 🤣 she is going to have him for a while because I don't want kids anytime soon.

[@yvonnepalmquist8676]

@@ImaNerdANDaGeek do you get the phrase "human sibling"? lol, we just get the phrase "brother." There's me, my sister, and our German shepherd "brother."

[@kylebroflovski8656]

Oh a fellow BJD doll collector I see!

[@Shenn3165]

1st story: my sister has twins, and an older dog, you better believe that dog is just as much family to us as the babies, she’s my moms grand dog too! And my furry niece!

[@Cat-di9lg]

I secretly tell my sisters dog that she's my favorite niece 😂

[@paranoiarpincess]

The one with the brothers had me break down in tears. I'm so happy the older brother came to reddit. That likely singlehandedly saved his relationship with his brother.

[@eva_art_0533]

I call my dog my child and I joke that my parents will be getting grand puppies instead of actual kids. Every person i know who owns a pet calls them their kid

[@kylaluv8453]

I have a cat, he isn't my child but more like a very demanding master. He has us all quite trained.

[@professorrosenstock5026]

I view myself more as a roommate.

[@Cinnie.Stories]

My mom calls my pets her grand-dog and grand-cats hahaha

[@naturalPaths]

Story about imitating Arnold. A little known, less remembered factoid is that when Arnold was first in the US building a reputation, he took elocution classes to lose his German accent. Turns out his popularity began to decline. He chose to embrace the accent as part of himself and indeed his persona as well. Imitating him only shows he made the right choice. I bet he’d love it.

[@laurenmentink7401]

Did not know that. Thank you for the information.

[@groofromtheup5719]

he is Austrian. they did a voice over for his first movie.

[@naturalPaths]

@@groofromtheup5719 I knew he is Austrian, but I did Not know about the voice over. Thank you!

[@jonnys8853]

@@naturalPaths they also didn't credit him as "Arnold Schwarzenegger," but as "Arnold Hercules."

[@Ragard123]

I've heard that he actually don't speak with that accent privately anymore. It's only a part of his brand. I've also heard that he needed to get voice lessons a few years ago because he started to lose the accent.

[@candlegal10311]

I wake up every day thankful my grandmother told my mother at my birth Her Name is Kimberly. Otherwise, my mother would have named me Keepsake Hope. My mother planned to call me Keep as a nickname. for the first year even though she changed it to Kimberly she tried to use Keepsake as a nickname. when I was a baby she got away with it, But later as I was reaching school age I let her know I hated the name and wanted to be called only Kim or Kimmi. after that Keepsake fell away and she started to see How much the name was a bad idea. now it is just a joke in the family and my mother hates it just as much as the rest of us. She has told me how glad she was Grandmother put her foot down because she would have to pay to have it changed when I was 5.

[@andrear7550]

Thank goodness for your grandma, that's one of those things that I think in the parents quest for a "perfect name" that they get lost along the way. For OP's daughter I really hope someone also talks some sense into her before she names her daughter after a tumber fanfic title.

[@pumkinplays]

Anybody else feel relieved when he finally pronounced Isaiah correctly halfway through the story? 🤣

[@elsaflood6393]

People don't understand how traumatic for children to be bullied because of their name. They make fun of them, make silly rhymes with their names.

[@mazurka5042]

"ever winter rain" 😭😭 i already have an image in my brain of what this mom looks like ....

[@mazurka5042]

LOOOOL hes skipping a wedding for a game hes not even seeing in person ..?

[@theducklinghomesteadandgar6639]

OP and Co-worker with blood phobia: I get that James has a phobia, but I think he also has a fear of his phobia making everything worse as well, or he also has chronic anxiety that causes him to become more anxious thinking about seeing blood. He needs someone to first help him to break the cycle of getting anxious just because he knows someone has to check their blood. 99% of the time they won't be, but he is "purchasing" the anxiety in advance just expecting it even though it isn't happening and making him feel that way all day long. It's like saying there's a tiny cloud in the sky, it must be going to rain today and then taking all kinds of precautions in case of rain, and then it never rained, but you had a slicker, rain boots, wading pants, an umbrella, this precaution and that which made getting anywhere take that much longer and be that much more encumbered for the tiniest of a cloud being in the sky that maybe might have meant rain. Then once he could deal to some extent with not buying the anxiety and/or whatever in advance, THEN work on the actual phobia

[@mbrennan459]

Story 2. Op said husband is not good at confrontation. Did anyone else get the sense that op didn’t want kids and husband wanting to avoid confrontation, said “no”?

[@ghostdragon5735]

It’s almost like th bio dad had his rights taken away.

[@jellysquid8077]

How the fuck is the brother jokingly referring to himself as a "Dog Dad" hurting OP?? Like, it's not like he's saying he has it harder than OP or looking for sympathy or something??

[@groofromtheup5719]

If you are going down the brainless politically correct path, better go all the way down that bitch.

[@jellysquid8077]

@@groofromtheup5719 Wtf are you talking about...?

[@AgentVenom8190]

For the story beginning at 15:45, NTA. Yes, the girlfriend wanted to spend time with him, but he told her before that he just wanted to relax at home and do nothing, then she tries to decide how he gets to spend his time off, yes, they need to compromise but in this instance, OP is NTA for just wanting to relax in his time off, the girlfriend is a AH but by a tiny bit, I get wanting to spend time with your significant other, but she should have respected his decision when he told her that he didn't want to do anything and just relax at home before she even put in her one week off notice and then trying to get him to do stuff that he already said he didn't want to do.

[@Flakey101]

This what gets me. The post is litered with people saying he needs to compromise, but the situation is he wants to do nothing for 2 weeks, and she wants him to do something. There is no comprise in this situation. One or the other will get their way.

[@AgentVenom8190]

@@Flakey101 Exactly, when technically, he told her what he wanted to do even before going on his break, sure, he could compromise, but I don't think OP should have to, it's his 2 weeks off, he can do what he wants during that time off

[@groofromtheup5719]

@@Flakey101 she wanted him to do somethings for half of the 2 weeks. OP is a slug. I hope she dumps him.

[@kylaluv8453]

@@groofromtheup5719 Yes, than he can fund a better furlfriend who respects his wishes. I have in the past taken time off to hide and do nothing after a stressful year or so at work. I usually schedule trips a month or two later. It is called self care. He knows what he needs, she doesn't.

[@Bleg94]

@@groofromtheup5719 he wanted to do nothing, he has NO problem with her also taking time off while he has time off, he also has no problem with them doing nothing together, he has a problem with her planning HIS vacation, her planning him to do a lot of things

[@Slithery]

For the diabetic story: NTA. I have a phobia of needles and my boyfriend is a type one diabetic. I know different people react differently, I can’t look at him when he tests his blood sugar but op’s colleague is being ignorant and demanding. Diabetics NEED to keep tabs on their blood sugar it can be dangerous if they don’t. The colleague is being stubborn and dismissive I hope HR sides with OP

[@renipede835]

as someone who is both needlephobic (to the point of therapy) and diabetic, literally. if other diabetics prick or inject, I just... look away? i feel queasy but I have the sense that their health and safety is more important than my feelings.

[@pansprayers]

'Owning a dog isn't nearly as hard as raising children'. Um, having done both, yes, yes it CAN be harder, because at least children eventually can start *speaking* and tell you what they need. Just STOP IT.

[@mgaus]

I have both and I understand your point. But dogs never struggle with the range of human emotions. Dogs don't have ethical or moral quandaries. Dogs don't leave the nest. There is a higher struggle with raising humans than dogs. That's simply a fact, regardless of communication development.

[@pansprayers]

@@mgaus that's not the argument posed here. Thanks though. The OP wants to go down the route of calling himself the saint and spokesman for Infertility Mountain (to his brother with a boyfriend), while throwing himself on a cross because... *parenting*. See the issue?

[@mgaus]

@@pansprayers I never said OP had any decent points. Simply pointed out your flawed logic. You're welcome, to that and more. Simply ask if you get confused

[@jimbobjones9330]

@@pansprayers Your argument is in such bad faith that it hurts my brain. Raising a dog is nowhere NEAR as tough as raising a kid. I have two kids and two dogs. I love my kids and love my dogs. That said... I'm not worried about paying for my dog's college. I'm not worried about my dog getting bullied at school and hiding that fact until it scars them for the rest of their lives. I'm not worried about teaching my dog right from wrong (except for the very basic "don't bite" and "don't crap on the carpet"). I'm not worried about my dogs getting involved with the wrong crowd and doing drugs and harming the rest of their lives. So, I'm guessing you either didn't raise kids (or you had step kids you did nothing with or once dated a guy who had kids and think that makes you an expert), or were an astoundingly terrible parent if you think that the two are equivalent. Taking care of dogs is maybe 1/50th of the amount of effort and heartache and stress needed to raise children. With that though -- I couldn't give a flying crap if another person calls themselves a "dog parent". Is it silly? Sure. But there's nothing wrong with silly.

[@MilfywayGalaxy]

@@mgaus Yeah.. Exactly what you said. I don't care that OP called himself a "dog dad." I have both kids and dogs. I call them the "fur children." That doesn't hurt a soul. However, to say "raising a dog is hArDeR" is super ridiculous. Like what kind of dog do you have where it's harder than raising a human?? x.X Are you kenneling your kids? Like what's going on here xD Also, did you see how many people AGREED with this logic??? WTF

[@l1s4sp1ts3]

Ever Winter Rain sounds like the name of a protagonist from a YA book, probably one of the mildly edgy, romantic ones where the main character borders on being a Mary Sue.

[@nicoleveda]

I think Winter Rain is actually the problem. I know a guy named Ever and he never had any problems with bullying and everyone in school liked his name.

[@l1s4sp1ts3]

@@nicoleveda oh fully agree. Ever isn't a bad name on its own. It's the combination of Ever, Winter AND Rain that makes it so bad.

[@Don-Angel]

My heart breaks for the kids not wanted by anyone. They didn't ask to be born into a relationship built on lies, they didn't ask dad to vanish and they definitely didn't ask for the parents they knew to die and they're being shoved from Pilar to post coz no-one putting kids NEEDS above their own WANTS.

[@Suelorie]

This kind of attitude (and not just from you Don Angel 188) reeks of 1.Homophobia 2. ignores the fact that the gay dad was cornered into giving up his parental rights 3. ignores he fact that the kids mom and stepdad did not plan for that possibility so the fault lies with them for not doing so. and 4. the bio dad did not want kids would not likely be a good dad if forced into it. Finally those saying he tricked/lied to his wife when he did not admit his orientation--uh do you not have a clue how hard that can be when those around you hate and despise you for it.?

[@groofromtheup5719]

Mom "forced" him to give up parental rights. It ends there.

[@Don-Angel]

@@Suelorie I'm not homophobic

[@gaywerewolf1294]

except he didn't vanish lmao, the ex made him vanish. he tried to stay in those kids' lives except no one wanted him to be in their lives. and now it's "boohoo, we can't help. here, you take them bc we name you their dad now". on top of that the family knew he relinquished his parental rights and they still pull this shit

[@yvonnepalmquist8676]

1. Except he does have choices. He had children by his own choice. Under his own lies and deceit. And he walked away, yes, actually, of his own choice. His shit with his ex is just that. Shit between the two of them. His shit with his ex in-laws is just that. Shit between adults. That he played a painful role in. He chose not to fight it, for whatever the reasons were he felt that was the best choice. Hopefully that choice was about what was best for his children. But yes, still his choice. Whatever path he's on, all paths are his choice. Did his choices suck? I'm sure they did. Like most adults, he did wrong, and was wronged by others, and he paid a price for that, as we all do. He played his role in creating life, and certainly had a huge role in making a mess of his own life with his lies and deceit. None of his choices negate his moral obligation to his children. Good for him that he has no "legal" obligation. 🙄 2. No way short of killing me or disappearing with my kids can someone "make me vanish"... unless I didn't want the kids in the first place. 3. As an adult, my old battle wounds of a relationship, where I am just as much to blame for the damage created, does not take precedent over my children's needs. 4. Yeah it must be really shitty for biological family to pull the, "but I'm not 'legally' responsible to take them" card... oh wait... he played the same card and he actually IS the parent (we get it... he hates what the family did to "him" and the family hates what he did to the mother... it ain't about the adults!) If he doesn't want them, that's his choice. He doesn't get to blame that choice on others. What a shit show.

[@crafteuphoria3608]

For the voice imitation story… three words; Saturday. Night. Live. The OP was not doing it to be mean or racist or whatever. She was laughing about cliche movies lines and other drunken shenanigans. Says in a bad Austrian accent “Hasta la vista, baby.”

[@gl8172]

"If you didn't want to spend time with your GF you should have told her not to book time off or cancel it." So... did he need to explicitly tell her not to try to rope him into painting an entire room, too? Maybe Netflix isn't quality time, but how is co-opting someone's time off for manual labor quality time? If he's an ahole for not compromising, then this must be an ESH, not a YTA, situation--because it takes two people to compromise, which she also chose not to do when she decided to unilaterally dictate how he was going to spend his time. Having less time to spend with family during a busy work period doesn't make you need less time to decompress afterward, if anything it's going to be the inverse. If girlfriend's idea for "quality time" is putting him right back to work, and somehow she thinks that is going to lead to her having a happier relationship with a happier boyfriend, she's mistaken. I get that painting a room isn't a one-person job, and maybe this is something that's been on her to-do list for a while, but this was poor timing and worse execution.

[@juliearmfield2634]

She didn't ask she just made plans without talking to him about it.

[@raz7573]

That commenter is an idiot. Anyone with half a brain knows people like to decompress when they get break between jobs. The last time I changed jobs, that’s exactly what I did. I didn’t even tell family I was home for two weeks.

[@Ridgely]

The response mocking him made me extra angry. Nothing he did or said indicated that he didn't want to spend time with her.

[@ameixsell]

The vacation story irked me, "my SO found out I'm taking 2 weeks off and scheduled her time off for that same time (there was no discussion) I told my wife I just want to do nothing on my time off (wife proceeds to make plans, working on a room and then a cabin stay, which while sounding nice, whose hauling all the luggage, driving there, ect) (again, there was no discussion) upon finding out about the undisclosed plans OP reminds wife that he wanted to do nothing. I bet this pattern of behavior filters into other parts of his life and gets his free time hijacked all the time and voluntold to do stuff. NTA

[@CrystallynRose]

I was surprised by all the YTA and ESH. The SO basically highjacked his time off without discussion. I like how reddit seemed to ignore that she expected him to do a house project during that time. OP has been working hard and told her he needs a break and she doesn't seem to respect that. As someone who used to work a stressful job, both physically and emotionally, a lot of the time I took vacations just to relax so I didn't burnout. His SO should've respected that. Perhaps they could go away next time once he's not so burned out.

[@ImaNerdANDaGeek]

I knew a girl named Ever, so I don't think it is that weird a name, but the Winter Rain part is what seems a little too much for me.

[@nicoleveda]

I feel exactly the same! I'm always so surprised when I see the comments on this story. I went to school with a guy named Ever and he was never made fun of and people like his name. I think Ever is a nice name but Winter Rain is a bit much.

[@Ackalan]

Sounds depressing as well, who'd want an everlasting rainy winter?

[@jimbobjones9330]

The whole name sounds like a brand of female hygiene products. It's been a year since this video, but hopefully the woman came to her senses.

[@2Ten1Ryu]

I haven't heard the end of the first story yet, but I truly don't think that someone calling themselves a dog dad invalidates the work as a parent to children in any way. You might call it weird and unnecessary, but it doesn't take away from your efforts. There are a lot of bad parents out there that abuse or neglect their children, and unfortunately they get to call themselves mum or dad, too. you do you, the only validation you need is from your own children because they one day will appreciate what you did for them.

[@D-me-dream-smp]

People who get so worked up about minor things people do that have absolutely NO impact on them at all are so tedious and ridiculous. His martyr complex about being a parent also doesn’t reflect well - like he’s upset he hasn’t received praise and a big gold medal.

[@lrock48]

OP sounded salty AF. Probably jealous of his brother being able to have fun.

[@kathrynkelly9955]

First story the guy's an a****** that's all there's to it

[@carolroberts4614]

He is a massive idiot! 'I can't tell my brother how to live his life, he said, then proceeded to tell him how to lead his life! All because he thinks he's Dad of the Century and they're taking away some of his glory!

[@mothergoose9383]

The dog had a dad. He was a dog, not a person. You're a pet owner, not a parent.

[@paulineisme]

The ever winter rain one: everyone is dog piling on op for agreeing to "each parent names one child", but I mean, how should he expect his wife was going to suggest naming the kid after a word? The wife turned the tables completely

[@JewelWildmoon]

Regarding the name "Ever Winter Rain," she could just take one more realistic like "Evelyn Winter" as the first and middle name or something. It sounds close enough and isn't just a word for a first name.

[@DameiusLameocrates]

The story about the guy who didn't want to go to a wedding he didn't care about. Feels bad for the reaction he got, I don't think it's an arsehole move to change your mind. Being married doesn't mean suffering events you were never interested in, people believe some toxic trash.

[@emceeourtney241]

I agree i kinda think the wife is the a**hole for making him miss an event that's extremely important to him to follow her around for an evening at a wedding he doesnt seem to have much investment in at all; then the subsequent resentment. Itd be different if it were his own wedding lol

[@Mglay556]

When ever I hear the football over a wedding story, I hear it as Peter Griffin reading the story to us, cause it sounds like a family guy episode

[@trash-hime]

Story 2: Going against the grain and saying NTA. The dad tried to remain in the kids' life but was constantly rebuffed by the ex-wife to the point of having to give up his parental rights. The mother removed him from their lives; she didn't want him seeing them and she refused child support from him. He has 0 legal obligation and, honestly, 0 moral obligation. He's nothing but a stranger to these kids. You don't know how those kids were raised or what shit their mom told them. For all anyone knows, they could hate their bio-dad and you'd just be putting them into a situation where the kids create a volatile environment. Now it's sad that no one from their mom or adoptive dad's family's are willing to take them in, but it also says a lot how they're wanting to foist the kids off onto the estranged bio-dad. How many of them agreed with the mom's actions of removing him from the kids' lives? Did any of them ever speak out against it? Likely not considering it sounds like this is the first time in years any of them have reached out to him.

[@gaywerewolf1294]

do you honestly think they didn't agree with bio-mom's actions considering he left town for his safety?

[@sakinasimmons297]

No, the children never said they didn't want him as a dad, the children never took him to court for solo custody. And he was a lair, knew he was gay and had them anyways. Disgusting

[@suruha2306]

I raised three children and had two grandchildren live with me much of their lives. I still refer to myself as 'momma' to my doggo and kitteh!

[@tegantalks9612]

1:38:13 that one hurt. If my oldest son treated his brother like OP did in that story I would be furious. Also I’m the oldest child by 8-10 years and I can’t imagine, even at 17, being that cruel to my younger siblings.

[@princesssunshine874]

As an introvert I totally feel OP's pain. I know people are shitting on OP, but the girl friend also seems to have no sense of her bf's needs to be alone and have space. If she had emotional awareness she would have told her bf. "I know that you need some space. How about I give you a full week to your self and plan a few days at the lake house week 2? OP is burnt out and stressed. After a week of doing nothing he will more likely be ready to do things and spend time with people.

[@groofromtheup5719]

Blood checking; the co-worker is a huge AH. The "needles" create such a small hole that you need to squeeze your finger to get 1 drop out after being "stabbed" by the lancet. I often bleed FAR more than that in a random day without even realizing it.

[@andrear7550]

And depending on the needle size it's hardly noticeable unless you stick it in his face. Having the condition is hard enough, without a dumbasses harassing you for taking care of your health.

[@missybuchanan9631]

The therapy the guy is getting is likely exposure therapy as well, phobias tend to follow a schedule of exposure. He should have spoken to his therapist about it, because it actually might have been helpful in his therapy. Makes it sound like he wasn’t even trying, I had a friend who was like that with cockroaches and within a year she was holding one.

[@gillianbergh7002]

I hope the co-worker is single and child-free. How will he cope if someone he lives with gets diabetes? It would be ironic if he ever becomes diabetic - not that I'd wish this on him.

[@katrinalindsey1869]

Lmfao @ the football wedding OP, dude sounds like the Bostonian boyfriend character walked out of a Chris Fleming bit into the real world and somehow acquired a wife

[@peteallen8420]

Listening to the story about the mother not going to the wedding of one son if the other isn't invited, she IS ta. She says she isn't trying to pressure him into forgiving or inviting his brother? She is literally blackmailing him by saying "If Isiah isn't welcome I won't come." She is telling her son his feelings are not important and he should forgive the brother that destroyed his happiness and accused him of a crime that he himself had committed with the sole intent to ruin that future over a stupid bike. Daniel would be well within his rights to tell his mother she has made her choice and go full NC with her over this imho.

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

I feel like you're weird if you don't imitate Arnold Schwarzenegger at least once in your life lol

[@anonmouse15]

Americans struggling to be offended for cool points.

[@xxSweetySaraxx]

Right, I can’t think of the sentence “I’ll be back” without his voice ratting up in my head 😂

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

@@xxSweetySaraxx lol right!

[@Ash-mo7oc]

I call myself a dog parent, I have PCOS and can't have kids. Just because something is "harder" for you it doesn't invalidate the emotions of someone else. Its like comparing two people with traumas. People can argue that war trauma isn't the same as sexual violence trauma if they want but both instances are still traumas that can both lead to life-long crippling mental health issues. Whether taking care of a child or taking care of a dog, its still taking care of a living being that requires responsibilities and emotional energy. Theres no need to compare and contrast because no one asked you to. The term "pet parent" is actually a widely known term and used by pet owners world wide in multiple cultures. You may personally not feel the same towards your pet as you do with your children but that isn't the same case for every person in existence. There were cases of people leaving all their riches to their pets after death despite having kids because to that person, their pet was far more important/loved than their own kids. In Africa there's even people that MARRY animals because they deem their relationship with their pets more important than being forced to marry someone that doesn't like their pet. So although your view is truthful in your case, it isn't the case for everyone else.

[@jvangriend560]

The Dog Dad story. Op commented on the brother getting a breeder dog, "I don't agree with it, but whatever I don't tell him how to live." Yet OP then tells brother he can't call himself a dog parent. Way to "not" tell a family member how to live... SMH

[@teryenu]

Story 1: We need to find the gatekeeper of gatekeeping. That way when some annoying butt starts to gatekeep something stupid we can send in the master gatekeeper to gatekeep their attempts at gatekeeping.

[@corlenajames1381]

What?? 😂

[@katizkool5039]

As a mom, I have nothing wrong with people calling themselves pet parents. It is different having a dog and having a toddler but they are both work and both worthwhile.

[@SeifellAlmancht]

Oh damn. That whole story about the brothers had me crying. I have a younger brother (and a twin brother) who live across the country and it made me miss them a lot.

[@Ash-mo7oc]

Ever winter rain sounds like a depression song. The first song that came up when Googled was "always december" with is a depression song that contains all three in the lyrics.

[@gillianbergh7002]

If OP'S wife thinks it's such a cool name she should change her own name to it.

[@nai5949]

I love that song!! I think I know what song you're talking about😆

[@michelebrown9923]

I'm a woman and not into sports but wouldn't the wife have more fun with her friend who loves to dance and is excited for the wedding rather than her husband who isn't? Maybe it's the selfish in me that is seeing his side.

[@83gemm]

Look. I have a personal disdain for closeted people who involve another human being in keeping up their lies. Every situation is different and sometimes it really is dangerous to come out. That part I don’t judge. But the moment you look at another person and say, “I love you. Let’s make more humans together,” I lose sympathy. In some cases, the closeted person has created a reality of deceit so deep that they don’t even know they are lying, and I get that. BUT SOME OF THEM KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING. They are a victim right up until they start using/hurting someone else. In this guy’s case, he was 20, sheltered, and in an oppressive family. I don’t think he deserves full blame at that point. But he stuck around long enough to father TWO children three years apart. I’m glad he didn’t stay in the lie. I’m glad he didn’t hurt himself rather than face his truth. But he hurt the family unit he created to foster his secret. So for that part of it, he gets a YTA, with provisions. I don’t think he was the AHole for signing away his rights. At that point he had lost his relationship with them. He and his (was it partner or husband? I missed that part) are definitely NTA for not taking these kids who are now strangers and have just lost everything. The OP laid it out well. They should not be moved across the damn country to live with two men they’ve never met (daughter was three when he left, so technically she has met him, but she doesn’t know him or probably remember him). Also, and this is key: these men do not want these children. Forcing them into this situation after they lost the only parents they knew while making them cut all ties with everyone in their life to move across country is staggeringly cruel. It IS horrible that the kids are orphans and no one can care for them. But OP and their bio dad can’t CARE for them either. So… maybe that part gets a NAH? Poor freaking kids though, sweet Jesus.

[@zashgekido5616]

The father is and will continue to be an asshole, but not for not taking those kids back. The fact is his ex was straight up used so he could stay in the closet, and that is (without the partner's consent) a fundamentally shitty thing to do to a person.

[@JSainte17]

“Having children isn’t a priority in his life ans ‘if it happens, it happens’.” Has no one explained to your brother how babies are made? If he’s waiting for a baby to “just happen” with his boyfriend, he’s gonna be waiting quite long time.

[@drkatbun8566]

Adoption is a thing too, if it happens it happens, might just be a “if I ever want them” or as the other comment said, he could be bi

[@dulcilass]

Maybe, since children aren't a priority, he was being sarcastic when he said "if it happens, it happens" Or who cares if I have children, not me. I don't think he's waiting for a baby to happen. There are people who just aren't interested in having children and enjoy being "child free". Many of them have "furbabies" instead to enjoy a warm cuddle with.

[@scourgedarkpaw9949]

Thats a but harsh. He might need to take a child in if a tragedy occurs within his family

[@dulcilass]

@@scourgedarkpaw9949 Or he could refuse, depending on the circumstances

[@scourgedarkpaw9949]

@@dulcilass true but it's still possible

[@forestforest1191]

Many, many (most?) dog owners in the USA call themselves dog parents/moms/dads. This is because we don't believe pets should be considered "owned". We are guardians, giving them the best life they can live.

[@carolroberts4614]

And cat servants!

[@jjr9792]

RE: OP not attending her son's wedding unless he invites his brother...OP ITA × 2! [53:13] Regarding her ultimatum, OP states: "I wasn't trying to pressure him or trying to change his mind I was just letting him know". First, this is just so passive-aggressive. Second, it's blatantly obvious that the sole purpose of this threat is to pressure David into inviting Isaiah, and not even having the decency to admit it is another a****** move

[@dulcilass]

I didn't even get to the comments before I was calling the OP a bit..h about her "Not pressuring her son to invite his brother" What the h..ll does she think she's doing with the "If he can't come then I won't either" attitude. EEEESH

[@PurpleHeartsOnFire]

Ever Winter Rain sounds really depressing tbh

[@whitneyr.846]

Story 1- as a mother of two kids, and have a dog, cat, and bird (cockatoo).. It doesn't bother me if people call themselves "dog mom/dad"... However, those who want equal recognition on mothers/fathers day because they have pets kinda gets to me. Let us parents to human children to have our day, cause raising humans is hard. I can't think of a situation where it's acceptable to put human children in a kennel for a day while you go do things.

[@1hellofabutler1313]

No but you get a babysitter, or daycare. What about the poor people who are infertile? Don't say adoption because it's so easy to be denied. When it was suggested for another day people threw a fit because it "diminished real parents."

[@whitneyr.846]

@1hellofabutler1313 caring for a child is very different than caring for a pet, no matter how much we love our fur babies.. nor do you have to be a give birth or adopt to be a "parent", foster parents, guardians, hell when I was a teen, I would recognize my mom's best friend on mothers day, because she was like a second mother.. And its like someone in menopause wanting to be recognized during Infertility awareness month.. its not the same, it's okay it's not the same.. one is not valued more or less than another. I'm part of the emergency response team at work, which means we aid any emergency until parametics arrive, yet I would never say I'm a "first responder" when it's time to recognize them.

[@phtevlin]

re: "The name". That child has to live with that name for the duration of her life. Some parents don't take that into consideration.

[@lyaneris]

Yes. I'd think Everlyn Winter would be a good compromise. It can be shortened to Ever, doesn't sound like a string of random words, the name backwards isn't anything bad and I can't find a way to bully someone with that name. It also doesn't have any bad stigma (ie with teachers) as far as I'm aware. One should also try to find a name that people can pronounce and won't mistake for another, if possible.

[@LaunchPadMcQuack4Hire]

They should name their kid Seven. It's a beautiful name for a boy or a girl. It's Mickey Mantle's number. So not only is it an all around beautiful name, it's a living tribute.

[@bamilekewoman373]

Vacation Story-OP, move out, now! She sounds controlling & OP needs to get away from her immediately & SPEND YOUR TIME OFF HOWEVER YOU WANT.

[@tigernotwoods914]

1. YTA it doesn’t affect you at all. 2. NTA he signed away his parental under pressure from the mother. He has no obligation.

[@theconfusedvampire]

21:02 Wtf is wrong with these people? Staying home isn't quality time for most women? What bullsh*t is that?

[@meiimacca4054]

Right?! Utter bs、 the lot of it.

[@gillianbergh7002]

Husband names 1st child. Wife names 2nd child. 'Why in the world did you make such an agreement? You could have built in a veto cause...' It is it possible that OP thought his wife was sensible enough not to choose a name that's bound to lead to ridicule? Or that it never occurred to him that she would? The best outcome with this name is that others constantly 'mispronounce' the first name as 'Eva' and the child is happy with that. For all those who say OP is the AH - the daughter will think she's got a great dad if she ever reads this post.

[@justaboringvegetarian449]

Girlfriend who got the $500 roses probably enjoys the extra male attention. Makes her feel like a prize. OP being jealous is just icing on the cake. And on her birthday too. This whole situation is a confidence boost for the girlfriend and she is mad at OP for trying to stop it. So I'm going to say kind of ESH but leaning towards NTA.

[@Moonblade64]

Eh gotra disagree on the slight ESH. You dont just BUY someone a 500 dollar gift without warning the major participants (like the BF) Even if your rich. I feel rich people have more tact and grace when it comes down to giving gifts. I dont want to say there is an agenda but op is not the a-hole for cqlling out what is a sus action.

[@justaboringvegetarian449]

@@Moonblade64 True. I was thinking about the message confronting the guy leading to an IRL physical fight between the men, which is not worth the drama or potential police involvement. It would be better for the OP to reevaluate the relationship as a whole.

[@Moonblade64]

@@justaboringvegetarian449 oh hell no. There is rarely a good reason to fight while you are an adult. It wasnt as much as an asshole move as an idiot one. Who the fuck fights a multimillion dollar man? Like if he really wanted too he could ruin your life. Dick move but not assholish. You seriously dont do something that nice without implication. But than again the gap between super rich and middle class when it comes down to things they do is FAR different

[@duchesseebene1273]

Expensive is a relative term... and no one asks a friend's s/o, who they don't know, for permission to gift said-friend. The problem is what red roses symbolize. The friend could've spent the same amount and played it safe with a gift card or tickets to an event.

[@groofromtheup5719]

@@duchesseebene1273 $1k worth of roses probably = like $50 in the off season for a distributor, but yeah, "friend" is trying to get in her pants with it.

[@user-oh9yt8wt8i]

The guy who booked 2 weeks off is NTA. Relationships are about communication, He verbally told her that he did not want to do anything. She ignored that and then plan things that he didn't agree to. in what world is he the A-hole

[@fayellaf]

A functional alcoholic is still an alcoholic. He was showing concern for you and it is the fact you know you are an alcoholic that has made you react this way.

[@freecat1278]

I don't see why someone would be offended at someone calling themself a dog dad. Embarrassed maybe, but not offended. I seriously doubt that guy believes taking care of a dog is the same as raising children.

[@bethking9830]

Regarding the burned out guy taking 2 weeks vacation, leave him alone to reset the 1st week

[@angeleyesgreen1586]

This is why I always bring doctor's notes to cover my @ss. Is, personally contact whatever labor department you have and get a consult on this situation. They shld be making an accommodation for this situation

[@happyfriar]

I think the whole "dog parent" thing is cringe as hell, but unless they're trying to insist they know that being a real parent is like, OP needs to let it go.

[@pansprayers]

Mr Pink Whitney has an issue. This is what we call 'functional alcoholism'. 750 mL a NIGHT is a fast way to waste your money, your liver, your pancreas and your life. Doing it since High School, and doing it to sleep better? Holy GOD, bud.

[@D-me-dream-smp]

Definitely someone in denial because they are somewhat functional. The only issue is that unfortunately the roommate (he’s young though) approached it in the wrong way - directly “accusing” someone of having a problem (or anything negative) rarely works (same with using shame or guilt) since it will instinctively cause a defensive reaction and denial. Addiction issues are an incredibly tricky situation to address since part of addiction is a deep level of denial and rationalisation to avoid addressing their actual problems. His whole post screamed of the classic excuses and explanations found in addicts.

[@pansprayers]

@@D-me-dream-smp I live with someone who has 16 years of sobriety under his belt (and unfortunately have had way too many people come and go in my life with similar issues - a couple of them in a wooden box, one of them less than 96 hours after his pancreatitis started) and I'm fairly sure this has been addressed in other ways, and everyone else has a problem with it, too. The difference is the one who confronted him with it, just had the guts to finally address it head on. Beating around the bush only causes bigger problems in the long run. I'd rather you hate me and get help, because you're at least alive to have emotions.

[@vurmonistrang5544]

The alcohol story: NAH. Technically, yeah, you can drink whatever you want and however much of it you want, and that doesn't make you an asshole. But it sounds like he was just concerned because you do, in fact, drink a LOT. You sound like an alcoholic, not gonna lie.

[@pinkanimositygaming]

My parents struggled with fertility issues for a few years before I was born. For a while, they thought having kids was never going to happen so they adopted two dogs and a cat. My dad would take the dogs with him to work and doted on them, calling them his sons. Even after my sister and I were born, the pets were cherished. Pets are a part of the family. I call my dog “son” bc I adopted him and my fiancé and I can’t have kids yet bc of the economy.

[@theducklinghomesteadandgar6639]

1st Story WOW!! What a snot shows for those kids. And super double shame on the mother for cutting Dad out and allowing everyone to shun him. There is no way one can be with someone that long and not know the type of person they are...good/bad/etc. and also to not have some kind of idea that the spouse is attracted to their same sex as well or something. Obviously if the WHOLE COMMUNITY shunned right there is one reason he waited so long. Another being, he was likely taught to have faith and live right, and everything would disappear, but it didn't so he spoke up. Doing so destroyed his life completely and he lost his children. Just because children may be orphaned does not make the worst traumatized child you can come across, unless they watched their parents be murdered of course. That is a horrible assumption to make. It is just two young children, actually not that difficult with two adults willing to raise them together. It may decrease some freedoms to some extent, but IF you're okay with planning them to go as well then it doesn't really slow you down that much once you get the hang of everyone's needs and wants and a routine to meet them. ALL they need is room and board, an education and love and they'll be golden.

[@mildredmelusine6970]

My issue with that dad is that he would be okay with knowing his children may be put into the foster system where there is a decent chance they will encounter abuse. At the very least they would age out of the system and have no where to go and no support. If you have a child, you need to step up if for some reason they are orphaned. At the very least he could provide financial help to the aunts and uncles so they can care for the kids.

[@lynsthoughts3576]

LOL, Tom Brady's wife DIVORCED him for going back on the field. . lmao

[@indiashante1560]

Lmao

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

1- YTA, my mom struggled with infertility, stillbirths, and losing a newborn. The cat my sister and I adopted bonded with her to the point that he cries if she's going for more than 2 hours! She calls him her baby and talks about him like he's one of her kids!

[@laurenc4138]

I like how the first guy says his brothers approach to kids is “if it happens it happens” I feel like that’s the brothers nice way of saying he doesn’t want human kids, since he’s gay… first op is a dbag

[@SunBeeSmoked]

I mean, I wouldn’t say “since he’s gay” since honestly being gay doesn’t really mean someone wouldn’t want kids as much as anyone else. I think it’s just a nice way of saying he doesn’t want kids.

[@jessicafrost5825]

@@SunBeeSmoked i think she means because since he can't have a baby with his boyfriend its a nice way to say "we aren't having kids" instead of up and saying it.

[@SunBeeSmoked]

@@jessicafrost5825 I know exactly what she means, but being able to biologically have kids is not the only way to have kids and gay people are just as likely to want kids as anyone else. So I think they both simply decided they don’t want kids. Being gay doesn’t seem like a huge factor in it.

[@gaywerewolf1294]

@@SunBeeSmoked yes but there is no "if it happens, it happens" type of scenario in that. you do know what that saying means, right?

[@SunBeeSmoked]

@@gaywerewolf1294 idk how many times I have to explain this but you’re missing my point. Not to mention it’s not completely accurate either that he couldn’t have children, only in a cisnormative way really.

[@jeannemclaughlin7978]

THEY ARE NOT HIS CHILDREN!!! THE CHILDREN DON'T KNOW HIM!!!!! HE HAS NO LEGAL OR MORAL RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE THEM IN!!!!

[@sandyberger-r9j]

Proud mom of a (human) kid and a poodle. I got a poodle because my kid has allergies and I knew this breed is safe.

[@lynsthoughts3576]

BLOOD PHOBIA GUY AH... does he not care about SANITARY situations about BLOOD and PUBLIC Bathrooms.. nasty... His HEALTH is more important than his damn phobia. He said it takes 10 secs... NTA

[@YourShadowKeeper]

One employee with an irrational fear of needles and blood does not trump another employee's need to check their blood sugar levels in their own office. OP only checks their levels in their own office, it's a finger prick and a droplet of blood, not the Red Cross taking blood donations in the communal space. His phobia is his issue and he needs to learn strategies to address his phobia in an appropriate manner. Such as messaging OP via app/e-mail, or as they did make a quick phone call to ensure it's not during a time OP needs to check their levels. He clearly needs extensive therapy if the mere idea of someone being diabetic and needing to check their blood sugar regularly freaks him out enough to quit his job.

[@kaykay8855]

The co-parenting story: NTA. Op was understandable and respectful about their parents divorced and how they raised op and her brother, but op’s feelings are valid.

[@asomelord]

As someone who dislikes when people call themselves their pets parents, the guy from story 1 is absolutely the asshole. It's not rude, it's not devalueing parents, it's not hurting anyone. I personally find in cringey but i just get over it, even when people refer to me as my cats father. Confronting the brother was definitely a no-no

[@jimbobjones9330]

Yeah, I find it stupid. But who cares? It's a harmless thing.

[@barbaral743]

I'd go to the wedding with Tito and have a wonderful time. But I wouldn't be accommodating next time husband wants to go somewhere or do something I don't want to do.

[@grey2366]

For the first story: YTA. I find it very rich that the man with two children is being oversensitive about a couple that likely categorically would have to go through significantly more hoops to have children at all. "But what about infertile couples?" is going to fall on deaf ears when as a baseline they'd most likely have to do pretty much the same as any infertile couple if they wanted children (and most likely would face more problems actually having those avenues available to them simply because they're a same sex couple). But also, as a dog dad in a queer relationship with another man myself, I very much see my pup as my child and have long accepted that human children just most likely won't be in the cards for us. I have heard plenty of people talk about being parents to their furbabies, some of whom are parents to human children as well. I know of quite a few couples who also can't have human children who are also specifically animal parents and call themselves as such.

[@indiashante1560]

My daughter has a classmate named Ever. I said to my daughter "that's different" and left it at that. I kinda like it. I wouldn't choose it as a name for my daughter but there nothing wrong with it either. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@Bala_Niranna]

some of these people out here naming their kids like dnd characters

[@cynicalminion]

about the ONLY thing i agree with the first op about is that there are better places to get dogs from. 20:33- she's not ASKING for anything at all, and THAT'S where the issue lies (for me, at any rate)... he's got time off before starting his new job... great. THAT is the time to sit down and talk about potentially spending part of that time together, NOT after the GF has taken time off so that she can make plans for them. what bugs me about the roses is that op's expected to just play along and pretend they're from him. i'd be willing to bet there are plenty of people in your social circle who know damn well who they ACTUALLY came from... so it's not JUST about expecting OP to be okay with this, it's also letting your social circle know you expect THEM to be stupid enough to buy into the lie... ESH, not for BREAKING the agreement on naming your kids, but for MAKING that agreement in the first place... "you were willing to terminate me. that would ALSO have resulted in me not being there, so pretend you did that." i love stories where HR are actually helpful... but knowing the right way to approach them is also key to getting a "satisfactory" response. do not go with "a complaint"... go with a situation, asking for THEIR opinion. the HR folk usually love being the ones to hand down policy decisions... and it IS their job to protect the company, so you can outline a "situation" in such a way that even the most defective HR wage-slave can see it has "LAWSUIT YOU'RE GOING TO LOSE" written all over it... it looks good to the bosses to have proof of "i COULD take that step, but i'm coming to you first" i would also add that you're imitating a celebrity. think of it like slander/libel where you have to go above and beyond in order to meet the threshold of "causing harm". while there ARE instances of a celebrity overplaying a stereotype that applies to them (think margaret cho's "this is not the chicken salad of my people" sketch) it's generally obvious when you're imitating a PERSON, and not the STEREOTYPE... i also get vibes of somebody who prides themself on their acceptance who's been called out for an ingrained stereotype they have, and overreacted into the realm of "whataboutism" and "so why is THAT okay, but the thing I'VE been doing for years ISN'T?" the head games of making YOU feel bad about not having asked for an apology are mind-boggling. TELL her she's not invited to your wedding, and make HER OFFERING the apology one of the conditions of having future contact. a ten-year-old is not "trying" to embarrass you. and you START the post by talking about how restrictions have basically made it so that you ARE his main source of human interaction. he's completely forgiven for interpreting "having fun" while you spend time together as "being best friends". kinda like YTA because you're seventeen and that's just an expected trait. (side note- yes, even seventeen-year-olds get punished by their parents) it's probably NOT gonna help anything, but i'd say that (likely) the best way to make ANY of this better is to have a chat w/him and try to explain "yeah, we have fun together, but we're BROTHERS. it's not that i don't LIKE you, because i do. but you should also have "friends" who are your own age and you share interests with." also, it might not even have to be fortnite, but finding SOMETHING you guys can do online together could help mend fences by spending time together without involving PHYSICALLY going places?? forget wanting to leave exactly at 1, YTA for being willing to go at ALL. if you really want to add perspective to this, your bf is unwilling to commit to a schedule that would mean you could spend "pleasant" time together. dude needs a wake-up call, and "forget leaving no later than 1... i'm just not going" MIGHT be what he needs (assuming that he isn't just slacking because it's the passive-aggressive way of letting you know that HE doesn't want to go, either)

[@lina9535]

For the flowers, yes a rose means "love", BUT the color matters. Red rose = true love. Blue rose = Mystery, love at first sight. Yellow rose = friendship. Pink rose = grace. Dark pink = gratitude. Lighty pink = desire, passion, joy of life, youth, energy. The amount of flowers also have a meaning.

[@TheLilyMustang]

Insecure or competitive about their misery!!! Hahaha! Brilliant!

[@DespairDoctor]

Roses are automatically thought of as a romantic gift these days, but they weren't always seen as such. It depended strictly on the color of the roses when it wasn't necessarily considered romantic. Like yellow or white roses meant friendship, red and pink roses were akin to romantic interest. I wish we could honestly go back to those days. Because certain flowers could convey, "watch your back, someone wants to murder you" too

[@aichelsworld]

That story with a phobia of blood and needles, if there are details that need to be seen by the OP, why did they not consider the use of screen sharing software like Teamviewer or Anydesk, where OP can see the co-worker's screen and discuss the question while talking on the phone.

[@crystalmorgan8039]

OP: I can't tell him how to live his life Also OP: I will tell him how to live his life.

[@em0via]

Are we forgetting the mother made him sign over his parental rights? Are we forgetting the kids don’t know him? Ops husband may be the AH for leaving but he should’ve never laid down with a woman knowing he was gay. However, she was hurt and shunned him out of a relationship with the kids and now he doesn’t want them. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@wmdkitty]

She didn't "make" him do anything, cupcake. He CHOSE to sign over his rights. He's a massive a-hole just for that.

[@SunBeeSmoked]

@@wmdkitty he’s an Asshole for letting his kids get adopted and be part of a simple nuclear family where they’re loved and wanted? Do you think other people who need to put their kids up for adoption are assholes too?

[@Yllania]

@@wmdkitty You dont know that lmao, were you there when they were served with the papers? How do you know they are lying? Oh, you dont?

[@horsepanther]

@@Yllania She knows because that's exactly what the OP said.

[@em0via]

@@wmdkitty She did. She wasn’t allowing contact with the children. What was he supposed to do? How is it his fault kids that don’t KNOW HIM are orphans? It’s not the childrens fault but if he doesn’t want them, don’t put kids he doesn’t want in a situation to be abandoned, again.

[@randalhill6283]

The dude that wanted to spend his vacation at home is definitely not the asshole. He made it clear to his girl that he didn't want to do anything. He said it multiple times. And she just went behind his back and started planning stuff after he said he didn't want to do anything. She just went ahead and bought the painting supplies and expecting him to do that. How is he an asshole for not wanting to do that? Throw the girlfriend away and start over.

[@D-me-dream-smp]

Agree- I’m a person who loves to relax by staying home with NO plans. The girlfriend sucks for unilaterally making this decision after he had already made his choice without discussing it with him or any conversation. Sure she could negotiate a few days together but talk FIRST.

[@randalhill6283]

@@D-me-dream-smp I would have lost my shit if my girlfriend had surprised me with painting an entire room on my vacation. I would have sucked it up but still been pissed for the cabin plans. All of the YTA comments are mind boggling.

[@lrock48]

@@D-me-dream-smp and the commenters (who think OP is the AH) seems to forgot the fact OP told the gf multiple times of wanting to not do anything during his vacation, and gf went ahead behind his back with the planning, there are no discussion between the two at all and no compromise to be made, because no alternatives were discussed.

[@tayganroberts5098]

“Most women don’t consider watching Netflix to be quality time together” 1. Disagree wholeheartedly. Netflix is the biggest streaming site in the world and not solely because of men. 2. ITS NOT HER VACATION, WHO CARES WHAT SHE THINKS IS “quality time”

[@cheallaigh]

agree, they weren't, now the GF was being one... painting isn't fun usually and is actually exhausting depending on the size of the room and if it's empty. sure a cabin might be nice, but then there's the weather, the drive, the packing and all the other shit. there is nothing wrong with wanting to relax and rot your brain between highly stressful jobs. while hubby and i don't watch nextflix(we got a box) exactly, we do enjoy bing watching shit on his rare times off... which might actually be this week due to covid exposure.

[@RoxannBoykin]

Stormy Sky is a name I would have named my next daughter

[@lina9535]

About the dad that came out of the closet. Did some of the comments miss that he SIGNED HIS PARENTAL RIGHT AWAY? That means while yes he is their bio-dad, he is no longer their dad and isn't responsible for them. It's a horrible situation for the kids to be in with the loss of their parents. However, there are usually some sort of financial support that relatives can get if they take in or "adopt" kids from a situation like this. OP and husband are NTA

[@owlintrenchcoat]

The alcohol story brings me back. At 21-22, when I was drinking as soon as I got off work, drinking to deal with my roommates, drinking to sleep, I got so angry that my roommate (also an alcoholic, but that part isn't super relevant) was talking to friends about how she was concerned about my habits. But she was right and she was the only person willing to say something. For the one with the point system, this is why you can't win even being the model employee at a place with such a strict policy like that. It won't help you when you really do need to miss.

[@pinkglitter93]

OP on first story really sounds like that kind of parent that needs to pat himself on the back and wants a cookie for raising children he chose to have!

[@jvangriend560]

Isaiah seems a little extreme as a teen. Isaiah told a lie that broke up his brother's relationship and got jail time because Daniel sold a bike that Isaiah was using, though it previously belonged to Daniel... SMH I wonder how that story played out.

[@muse425]

You picked Tom Brady a man who doesn’t know you exist over your wife

[@kixi8033]

While I think the whole pet "parent" thing is silly, it isn't hurting anyone. Unless the op's brother tries to insist he act like an uncle to his pet, he needs to ignore it and let it be.

[@anrexfk]

lol no those children are not the mans children by law. his ex went to court to to demand that the man gives up his parental rights. of which he agreed upon to not further the her cause and causes more harm to those kids in the long run. them dying? is not his fault nor could he know that in advance but the fact still remains that they are not his kids anymore. if her family wants to complain and if those kids want to complain? then they know which grave to visit because he is not their father anymore. period. you cannot change the rules after being forced in to it.