r/InsaneParents - Dad "Proposes" to Daughter

[@watchbot7517]

I think the best quote I ever saw about it is in RPG terms: "Your birth family is just your pregenerated party. You can stick with them if they work for you, but no one can stop you from replacing them with people you chose yourself."

[@sallyparty1978]

@@watchbot7517 ok i love this

[@AIHumanEquality]

@@watchbot7517 The old saying is "Family is much more than blood."

[@spiritravenheart1335]

​@@AIHumanEquality that's not the saying either... its "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb"

[@AIHumanEquality]

@@spiritravenheart1335 That's a Bible quote. We're talking about different things.

[@spiritravenheart1335]

@@AIHumanEquality i mean, not really, I figured we were using old sayings and proverbs to mention the importance of friends and family and how family is a lot more than what we make it or think of it... guess not though.

[@nubs9895]

My grandfather was SAing me when I was a teenager. I lived with him, but managed to move out when I turned 18. I never planned to tell anyone aside from my mom who helped me move out, until I realized that he'd been grooming my young cousin. I reported it, he was arrested, I won the case, and lost all of my mom's side of the family aside from her and my sisters in the process. They all sided with him and even helped with his bail during the investigation. It's been nearly 20 years and I still miss them sometimes, but I don't regret at all the sacrifice I made to protect my cousin and anyone else he may have hurt, especially my own children who never met him and never will as he died shortly after he was released from prison a decade ago. I wish all the best to anyone having to face a similar decision.

[@NinnyPrinny]

You dropped this: 👑 (seriously though, you are an amazing human being for protecting your cousin, and you have my respect)

[@grmpEqweer]

Hero.

[@rebny7801]

You were so brave! Thank you for getting this criminal to stop his crimes!

[@tealkerberus748]

I'm glad your mother supported you. So many people in your situation, even their mother takes the abuser's side, and that level of betrayal is incomprehensible.

[@firstandlastaliv3]

All the best for you, and I'm sorry for what happened, but you literally saved so many lives. Not all heroes wear capes. Courage to stop ev1l is enough and you had it. Thank you!

[@jaqsre]

38:46 clothes don’t matter. age don’t matter. there are clothes from babies, toddlers and kids in the museum. horrific

[@MillieBlackRose]

This is very very true.

[@annika8504]

Those little clothes and diapers are heartbreaking to see. The people assaulting others are the only ones to blame.

[@edene.4870]

Yeah, but for some reason, the, "OK, so what do you think the 2-year-old toddler did to deserve it?" question at the oh-so-moral victim blaming arguments are always met with counter-arguments like, "That's not the same and you know it." People who insist that victims could have done something always have some reason to dismiss reasonable counter-arguments, much like the flat-earthers.

[@MillieBlackRose]

@@edene.4870 the only thing flat are their brains.

[@MikeMiller-jd1rq]

It’s absolutely terrible even as someone who has never felt much bad for people (I can understand right from wrong but I don’t get affected by feelings of those consequences) and even I understand I should feel bad about that they are children, even if they weren’t even if they were horribly old or incredibly wrong it doesn’t matter it’s not something you should do to people, I can never understand how people can go through with these things (I do understand that some are feelings which aren’t good and can be helped which you should quickly get help) but it’s terrifying and terrible

[@jonah_404]

How a parent can blame their child for getting groomed by a pedo, calling them a sl*t and trying to get them to be around said pedo after, is insane. Their children should be taken away, and that guy should be in jail.

[@AIHumanEquality]

@@jonah_404 It's more common than you'd think in the US. I've had to comfort and shelter a few girls who's families or part of their families were like that. It's terrible.

[@aleksabanjevic8316]

I'm very curious how the parents would tell the story, like, how on god green earth can you justify that? How can one even remotely think any part of that is the right thing. Anytime I hear a crazy story like that, I really am curious how can the other person possibly justify that kinda behaviour. Like, what mental gimnastics does it take to take the side of the groomer of your child

[@hotrodgirlie7028]

My high school boyfriend’s mom sent his half sister to a receiving home (new name for orphanage in California, don’t know about anywhere else) for coming to her when his dad was molesting her. It is insane!

[@LRM12o8]

What confuses me the most about this, is that when the victim raises accusations, they brush it off saying: "you were/are just a kid, you don't know what you're talking about", yet at the same time they ascribe enough agency and maturity to them to make the alleged decision to seduce an adult. What the hell? Too young recognize abuse, but not too young to make an informed decision to agree to or even instigate s3x with an adult?! 🤢 Tose things can't both be true at the same time, make it make sense! 🤬

[@AIHumanEquality]

@@aleksabanjevic8316 Often times they'll blame the child and find excuses that way. They're really horrible people and parents.

[@edene.4870]

The Mom blaming her 15yo. really isn't surprising. These types of people are even capable of accusing freaking 7 year-old kids of "seducing" their pedo partners, never you mind a kid at an "adult" age like 15-17.

[@grandmasterofdemoniccock]

A seven-year-old wouldn’t even know how to define the word seducing😒

[@emorainbow8999]

I came here to say that because that's exactly what happened to me. I was 7 (about to be 8) when it started. I told my mother and she spent two hours calling me names and accusing me of stealing her man or ruining her happiness. Afterwards, she made ME apologize to HIM for "spreading lies." Then, two weeks later or so, they got engaged and I was forced to have "daddy days" with him (basically 4+ hours spent completely alone with him, usually spent locked in my mother's bedroom with him). That's how I spent my 8th birthday instead of being allowed to have a party. It was like a really fucked up power move. She still insists I was in the wrong.... As a fucking 3rd grader. She's still married to him too. Only stopped the "daddy days" when he said in front of the whole family at dinner one night that I was "past my prime." I was 11. I hate people.

[@Emily-eq1ts]

My brother is a detective and he says the number of parents who victim blame their children destroys his faith in humanity.

[@Emily-eq1ts]

Oh dear god I’m so sorry you were put through that. That’s horrible.

[@MelissaWickersham-k4o]

@@emorainbow8999 You were too young to consent to sex, full stop. You were never at fault. Your abuser was the one who should take all of the blame. Your abuser was a pedophile, plain and simple.

[@evanwoodward6376]

Ah yes, the subreddit where parents behave like toddlers and their kids are the real adults.

[@mjjoe76]

The 31-year-old with the tattoo was the best. That person has been done with the mother for a long time and it shows.

[@13crystals61]

They don't even behave like toddlers, more like infants.

[@waffles3629]

Hey, don't insult toddlers 😂

[@julianmrgl9568]

Click plays the deranged mother character suspiciously well

[@grzegorzrolnik2855]

yeah that is...

[@jaydentt]

its from all the insane parents hes been lookin at probably lol

[@YukiTheCat15]

How strange... 🤔🤔🤔

[@kingofpenguins4157]

I think you mean the deranged mother plays the Click character suspiciously well

[@EmcoGaming]

Definitely hiding something...

[@mage1439]

Your children don't refuse to talk to you because of one thing, even if that thing is wearing a wedding dress to their wedding. This woman refuses to acknowledge the long road that has gotten her here, and she found an echo chamber where terrible parents can pat themselves and each other on the backs and assure each other they're not bad.

[@justanautisticnerd8969]

I have a feeling she knows she is in the wrong. Because unless we had a bridezilla situation. I dont know why the hell would you cut contact with someone for the wrong color... but white. Of course we cannot really assume. But lets be honest. The fact she was so vague about the details of the arguement. Tells me that she did wear a bridal dress and she wont specifie the color because alot of people would know that wearing a bridal dress at a wedding when your not the bride is a huge nono. She know she did something wrong, she just want to make it seem like her kid was overreacting over wearing the wrong color. She wants people to validate her.

[@AIHumanEquality]

@@mage1439 Well sometimes they do. It really depends on the person but there is a good chance this woman did something more than simply wearing wrong clothes to a wedding. People who say such vague statements are often hiding the truth on purpose to make themselves seem like the victim.

[@nurkkakala5665]

honestly, as soon as they talked about a tracker, I knew she did some f-cked up things and the dress is at the bottom of the list 😑

[@Wanttowrite]

Thanks to another KZbin channel (Oz's Vault), I learned the term Missing Missing Reasons. Your kid yelled at in public for an hour, wrote a 10-page letter, left you a 30-minute voicemail, or something similar, but you can't imagine what could have caused their reaction. These parents are in DEEP denial about their wrongdoings.

[@sfsin3380]

@@nurkkakala5665 As soon as she said three kids I knew. One kid can be a bad apple, I can see two if you've got a vindictive ex in their ear but 3+ kids all going so far as to be NC is a surefire sign that the no contact isn't the kids fault.

[@darkunykorn404]

27:00 my mom actually knew a woman who would hit her son because he liked to play with her makeup and clothes/jewelry. She would hit him because "he wasn't gay". Turns out he is, in fact, gay, and has very little contact with his mom. No amount of shaming and hitting him ungayed his gay self. Playing with clothes doesn't mean one is trans or gay, but stopping kids from doing so will also not make them cis and straight if they aren't.

[@grmpEqweer]

Agreed wholeheartedly.

[@LRM12o8]

If only every parent understood that you can't change someone's sexual orientation nor their gender identity... 😪 Also: clothes don't have a gender, they aren't a complex biological organism. Clothes just have a fit! 💁 That fit might be tailored to suit women or men best, but that doesn't mean that only a woman or only a man can wear them. 😊

[@MelissaWickersham-k4o]

@@LRM12o8 Right. Clothes are gendered only because human beings design clothes to be for one gender or another. Makeup is also gendered only because humans decided that makeup should be gendered. In other societies, both genders can wear similar makeup and similar clothes.

[@blueStarKitt7924]

Exactly.

[@waffles3629]

Yep. My spawn points wonder where they fucked up that caused me to think I'm trans. Yeah, I don't "think" I'm trans anymore than I "think" I'm 5'4", I am trans. And the only fuck up is not accepting me and trying to force me to cis. Wanna guess who barely speaks to their parents?

[@Insertia_Nameia]

The What Were You Wearing Museum, I want to point out not only has full body coverings such as burkas, but has a LARGE number of children, toddler, and infants (many include diapers,) clothing.

[@cecile886]

38:45 A couple of places (e.g. Susan B. Anthony project, CAPSEA...) have "What Were You Wearing" exhibits as well. Pretty low ratios of "skimpy" clothing in the exhibits.

[@kittyplayz1480]

That’s horrifying

[@Insertia_Nameia]

@@kittyplayz1480 It truly is

[@EspeonMistress00]

"Was it my fault?" asked the mini skirt. "No it happened to me too" said the burqa. The diaper in the corner couldn't even speak. -By someone (sorry bad with names)

[@Marco-i9b7g]

Yeah, there's even a full on military uniform in there, it's crazy

[@kokkolintu3528]

The stepdad saying that the child's "boobs are waiting" 🤢🤢😨😨 Makes my skin crawl, that's disgusting!

[@13crystals61]

I'm kinda scared to ask, but wtf does "boobs are waiting" mean?

[@Kardinaalilintu]

​@@13crystals61 nothing in itself but I suppose he's implying that the (assumably) virginal boobs just yearn to be fondled by...somebody. Aka he's expressing being horny towards the girl. Now please excuse me, I need to go vomit from writing that.

[@grandmasterofdemoniccock]

Reminds me of this podcast where this woman shared her story about how she was groomed growing up, and on one particular occasion when she went training bra shopping, her stepdad insisted on coming with her and her mom and made a bunch of inappropriate comments on what he thought she would “look good in”. Absolutely disgusting.

[@Charara999]

@13crystals61 because his stepdaughter doesn't have any boobs yet and he's waiting for them to grow. Either to oggle at them or... worse.

[@seigeengine]

@@13crystals61 I can confirm as an adult man that I don't know, but whatever it is it isn't good.

[@tobiasbayer4866]

38:49 Little side fact about this topic: Traditionally "sexy" clothing are, if anything, actually less likely to get you assaulted because they are usually pretty tight and thus harder to quickly remove in a struggle. Predators will typically look for the "easiest" targets, not the "sexiest".

[@michaelmorton5698]

Finally, someone other than me said it.

[@mothgirl2617]

I didn't know this. Thanks for the info 😊

[@kerriganm]

Hmmm… I guess a very particular flavor of predator. If you didn’t know there are different varieties, you’ve lead a luckier life than I.

[@novu6196]

Don't... Don't give advices. Ever again. 😐😰 As if predators will be picky. They mainly do it for the power trip, and secondary is the sexual fucked up-ness. They won't go like "oh, a girl in tight clothes in an abandoned alley way. Ain't no way I'm SAing her, it would he hard to remove" 🤣🤣🤣

[@joseybonnie3142]

Well, there goes my plan of looking less attractive, considering I can’t defend myself for shit!

[@libertymceachern8773]

I can relate. At 16 I was blamed for the sexual harassment by my mom's boyfriend too. Apparently I shouldn't have been wearing tank tops and shorts, during the summer, in my house. I know the pain

[@Sarika38]

I’m so sorry that you had to experience that, I hope that you are doing okay!

[@spambox3624]

Disgusting that the blame was on the victim. They failed you, you deserve better 🫂

[@blueStarKitt7924]

May you heal and find peace.😔🙏❤️

[@rhondaflesher8313]

The thing is, even if you had been a full fledge tramp at that age it would not justify his behavior or make you at fault. He was an adult and should have acted as such. Decent adults don't go lusting after young teens or children.

[@shadowldrago]

The controlling father who send his literal children such formal emails is so deeply fucked up.

[@youtubeuniversity3638]

A kind and caring father sending such formal emails could be seen as quirky or just straight up humorous, really is the bad parenting that seals it as horrible...

[@AIHumanEquality]

@@youtubeuniversity3638 I don't imagine a father who actually genuinely feels kind/caring towards his own family would be sending formal emails.

[@shadowldrago]

@@AIHumanEquality I mean, MAYBE as a bit?

[@youtubeuniversity3638]

@AIHumanEquality Not even as explicitly an attempt to get laughs?

[@AIHumanEquality]

@@shadowldrago Maybe once or twice as a joke sure but not in the manner this man sends them he writes them like business emails.

[@RoseDragon529]

The dad sending the formal emails So he wants his *12 year old* daughter to volunteer at a homeless shelter for a year? And write him emails about the men she's helped?(the dad specified men) And get a "glowing" report from her supervisor? All while doing school and everything else?

[@KOKO-uu7yd]

Actually... the "helping men" angle slid under my radar. I'm in my 50's. Been dealing with childhood trauma all my life. Just this year I have FINALLY reached the layers of "Daddy issues". This is the person in my life that was my strongest ally - and he was so toxic. He even genuinely loves me, but is truly damaged and made some horrible choices as well as persistent toxic currents... I hurt for that little girl. There's SO MUCH about his instructions that, if looked at individually, could be twisted into "wholesome" 😢😢😢😢 that makes it SO DAMN HORRIBLY IMPOSSIBLE to even begin to see it, from inside the traps he's structured. 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

[@therewillbecatswithgwenhwyfar]

Came here for this comment! So he's trying to groom his 12-year-old daughter? This is getting more disgusting as it goes.

[@verenabecker2724]

He also specified that she should work 'part time or full time'. Like...I'm sorry, FULL TIME?

[@FableTheWolf]

@@therewillbecatswithgwenhwyfar Don't forget specifically wanting to hear about her young female friends only on top of only helping men. The garbage spiral of this man does not stop.

[@dianajohnson7337]

My thoughts as well.

[@Sly-Moose]

That "Dear Daughter 2" dude doesn't even talk like a father. He talks like an AI

[@Stars-7w7]

Live in the office father

[@AIHumanEquality]

No he absolutely does not. He talks like a corporate drone. AI actually has character and intelligence.

[@Kartoffelkamm]

I'd bet money the "eating habit" is either a result of him abusing his children, or just the daughter learning to cook for herself and making food she enjoys eating. I'd also bet money she already has a therapist who helps her with it, but the therapist says it's the dad's fault, so the dad doesn't consider her to do her job properly. And lastly, the whole "don't focus on those around you" is almost definitely an attempt to keep the daughter from engaging with her social network so he can regain control over her.

[@aeea8318]

Don't insult the ai, I mean, ai is much better than that cold shit

[@Stars-7w7]

@aeea8318 Nah, don't push it

[@LittleMaitea]

The second story about the “allowed not allowed dress colour” I bet everything the conversation with her sons bride was like this: “Is it ok to wear a yellowish dress?” Bride: “Yes Yellow should be ok” -> Mom comes in bride dress that is “papyrus white”/ “cream” / “eggshell” Also possible with any other colour that can be an off white

[@rebny7801]

That story reminds me of the one time I blew off at a guy in an argument, not because of what he said, but because of the condescending, belitteling voice he had. As a third party came in the picture to try to deescalate, the first guy just said "I don't understand what makes you mad! I just said so and so!" To this day I don't know if this guy is a genius manipulator or plain stupid.

[@tealkerberus748]

Either that or it's not actually about the colour at all, and the dress she wore was inappropriate in some other way. We've already concluded she's lying, so what else is she lying about?

[@foureyedelf6151]

Alternately: "Is it ok to wear a white dress?" "Sure as long as it doesn't look like a wedding dress I don't see why not." Mom proceeds to go to someone else's wedding in a very obvious wedding dress.

[@LittleMaitea]

@@tealkerberus748 as she is most likely lying by omission with the most stuff A lot ,as she leaves out a lot!

[@rhondaflesher8313]

Or it could have been that the bridal party as well as the parents were all to be color coordinated and dear old mother decided she didn't like the color and went with something else.

[@wardrobewings8000]

16:00 WOW what an asshat. The "termination notice" for the older daughter was bad (and petty) enough but demanding from a *12-year-old* to spend a year volunteering at a charity before her own father _magnanimously_ _grants_ _her_ _the_ _privilege_ of a physical meeting? Telling her he gave away her toys? Berating her over what/how much she eats? Shaming her for going on holidays with her other guardian? Peak "very divorced man" behaviour.

[@sfsin3380]

Don't forget that she has proven that she helped specifically homeless men. Men as in adults he wasn't he 12 year spending all her free time trying to get glowing approval from adult male strangers in order for him to want to see her.

[@vellathewench]

He's probably one of these divorced men that complains the ex is keeping him from his kids, when it's him that's a literally POS that is keeping them away.

[@Kartoffelkamm]

Given how he talks, and the things he says, I think there is no "other" guardian; unless he lives in some patriarchal shithole, under-developed 3rd world country, or the USA, there is no way he's still the girls' legal guardian.

[@blueStarKitt7924]

​@@sfsin3380Oh no!😰

[@thehippydisnerd4887]

​@@blueStarKitt7924exactly

[@cathycatsville67]

Since the trans panic is rising up in the US i'm really scared how many kids get punished for playing the opposite gender ir trying on something they think is only for boys/girls... the amount of paranoia that goes with the trans panic is so unhinged that i really fear for the kids fantasy 😔 not the mention what it will do with actual transkids 😢

[@seigeengine]

It's worth considering the kind of parents who do that stuff were never going to not horrifically abuse their kids. Ordinary decent people don't just become transphobic abusers.

[@LRM12o8]

Another example of how EVERYONE suffers from restrictive gender norms. It affects gay, trans and other queer people much more significantly than cis-heterosexual people, but even the most cis-heterosexual person to ever have lived will have occasionally have an interest or play of them shut down with the stinking old "this is not for you, it's for boys/girls", has had their grief or criticism coldly brushed off with a stupid "BoYs DoN't CrY" or "YoU'rE jUsT a hYsTeRiCaL wOmAn/oN yOuR pEriOd", had their masculinity questioned or has been called a wh0re from time to time in their childhood and teenage years, simply for being a human, who happened to be of the perceived "incorrect" gender for the *universally human* predicament they found themselves in.

[@LRM12o8]

@seigeengine I'm not sure about that. There are a terrifying lot of abusers out there if that's true. I think a lot of people are just saying bad things they have no clue about. I mean, it's obvious that the vast majority of anti-trans folks (and anti-LGBTQIA+ in general) have no idea what being trans means, how trans people feel and why they do what they do, what the community is about and what their goals are and they've probably never ever spoken to a trans person and definitely never listened to them with an open ear and mind. One can only hope that a significant portion of the transphobes and queerphobes would rethink their hurtful opinion if a family member, relative or friend came out as trans* or queer. I know my dad believed the anti-gay sentiment of the time until one of his brothers came out as gay and it completely changed his mind and I myself as a kid thought homosexuality was wrong until I finally accepted that I am undeniably homosexual. I simply hadn't got a clue and thus believed what religion teachers, bad representation of homosexuality in the media (as the butt of Schadenfreude jokes) and the use of the word gay as insult by classmates told me. And yes, I had to sit and listen to -PDFiles- catholic priests teaching me their religious beliefs in a public school. In a state that claims to be secular, religious preachers and religiously biased teachers should not be allowed to preach about their religion, but that but that's exactly what was and still is going on.

[@hamishstewart5324]

It’s kind of whack how scared so many people are of a demographic that’s not even 1% of the population and their claims that they’re forcing surgeries on kids that they’re legally not allowed to get until their at least 18.

[@ladyfreedomrocks]

Remember. The trans panic is just a part of the overall satanic panic. The satanic panic never ended, it just quieted down.

[@jorgelotr3752]

16:56 it's even worse when the one telling you "how can you be depressed if I saw you smiling once the other day?" is the doctor in charge of renewing the medical leave you got for anxiety and depression.

[@aleksabanjevic8316]

..... Does just anyone get medical lisence this days? One of the first things ppl learn about depression is that it's a continual state with diferent periods, and a small smile is at best, AT BEST, progress, not the end.

[@AIHumanEquality]

@@aleksabanjevic8316 In the US you can buy your way into getting a medical license either with literal wealth or family name. It's a pretty hard truth many don't want to acknowledge.

[@aleksabanjevic8316]

@AIHumanEquality having money (something mostly possible through inheritance this days) or family name.... Wtf do you mean we are living in feudaliam, I don't see any feudaliam, do you see any feudaliam?

[@grmpEqweer]

​@@AIHumanEquality To a degree. I mean, family can and does get people in (legacy enrollment). Having family wealth means the 200k for the college/med school isn't an obstacle. But you still have to pass the exam and go through residency (10 years, very little pay, working at nonprofit, big city hospitals) I think it's more that there's people who go into medicine with their prejudices. Then instead of believing all the stuff they have to learn to get that doctorate, they retain that prejudice, instead. There's a HUGE amount of prejudice with mental illnesses in this society, and doctors aren't immune.

[@AIHumanEquality]

@@grmpEqweer You only have to pass the exam which can be done simply by memorising some things. You don't have to do well on it, which is another very deep issue.

[@crochetmatriarch]

"If you laugh and encourage the behavior, your kid will change their entire personality at that moment and forever on because you gave them attention for more than 10 seconds!" Says more about how little attention they paid to their own children. If you're attention-starving a kid enough that their entire being changes after a couple positive responses, you've got bigger problems.

[@lydiaboll2872]

Yeah, that literally sounds like textbook BPD.

[@rhondaflesher8313]

Sounds like my dad. He even admitted that he did not believe in giving compliments. According to him if you compliment someone then they will be ok with where they are at and not strive to improve themselves.

[@waffles3629]

Yep. As a swim instructor I could tell what kids were emotionally neglected pretty quickly. Sadly unless I suspected further abuse there was nothing I could do. A lot of kids would act out to get my attention, because it was the only way they could get attention at home. But within a few lessons of responding the same way to them as the kids who called my name instead, they were fairly reliably calling my name instead. It's not hard.

[@Sarika38]

Any “parent “ who allows someone to sexually abuse or harass their child should be put in jail and lose custody of any children. As a survivor of SA,it’s absolutely heartbreaking to not have support from family.

[@Phoebe5448]

God, this reminds me of that period of time where I, as a 14 almost 15 year old girl got home from school one day. Mum was drunk and went out to "get milk." She didn't come back for a couple of hours or so. But she got back pretty late. At the time she was maybe 40 something. This wasn't a new thing since my mum started drinking longer than I've been alive but she went into rehab when I was 17, and had multiple relapses through the years. Not to mention almost causing me to finally have a mental breakdown from the period of October 2021 to November 2021. But anyway, the very next day she announces, "I have a boyfriend!" This random ass dude she met when she was drunk off her ass on a park bench. Luckily for me, he apparently wasn't a creep. He was in and out a few times and I didn't take much notice of him. But my mum had basically become a spoiled teenager, forgot I existed and started to drink more. I was supposed to be studying for my exams and that didn't turn out well. I moved out and he ended up beating my mum one day. She still has a damaged eye and to this day denies anything bad happened. But I'm sorry you had to go through that. Sorry for the essay.

[@SeaWitchUSN]

I was describing to my sister (non-bio, best friend of 20+ years) the whale shark tattoo I want on my upper right arm, and my mother loudly goes, “um, no.” We both turned and looked at her. “Pardon?” Mom: “You’re done.” Me: “It’s cute you think you have a say.” Cut to my sister sputtering trying to not laugh and my mother sputtering in outrage. I’m 44.

[@waffles3629]

Ugh, what is it with parents thinking they control our lives for forever? My spawn points when I informed them I had a hysterectomy date said "No". Yeah, they did not like it when I said "I'm not asking for permission, I'm informing you it's happening" and hung up.

[@rachelmanente9927]

She's done.. Well done. Because you roasted her so well 😂

[@SeaWitchUSN]

@ I got some silent treatment for that one, which is perfectly fine by me: I like the quiet 🤣

[@futureastronaut5090]

Thats so embarrassing omg 😭

[@GavsterGaime]

The shoe one 🤣😭 Cross-dressing as a child means absolutely nothing! As a young kid I LOVED the Snow White movie and dressed as her ALL THE TIME! Turns out, I'm still a guy at 31, who'd have thunk? No longer into cross-dressing (or Snow White, lol. That shit is HORROR, wtf was toddler me smoking?). I did turn out homosexual, but the bear kind, lol. Not feminine at all. Moral of the story? Kids be kids, amd kids be cray cray.

[@grmpEqweer]

Exactly. Kids try on things-roles, clothes, whatever. It's what they do.

[@cabooedens4164]

Yep. I’m a girl and I dressed up as Harry Potter several times growing up. I loved his character as a child. Now as an adult I wear all black and carry around a dirt block I painted and mimic an enderman lol.

[@tealkerberus748]

Parents prohibiting a kid from dressing up as this or that character will do a lot more harm than just letting the kid explore their identity. Obviously there are limits - you wouldn't have a costume for a Nazi or whatever in the house, so they wouldn't have an opportunity to dress up as something really vile - but boys and girls both want a turn at dressing up as the princess, and that's normal.

[@anonymouscommentor411]

Yeah, kids have active imaginations so they'll often play various roles especially roles of those they see in real life such as their mom and dad since that's part of how they learn.

[@fizzyofbrassica]

I’m surprised you did not say that you now find Snow White unbearable😂

[@joparkin6960]

To the college student afraid her mother will find her - tell your close friends. She's a scary figure for you emotionally but she'll be just a random crazy to them. They can literally stand between you if she shows up and won't be manipulated out of swiftly calling the cops. You are free and you're staying free! Big love.

[@waffles3629]

Yep. And if you have a job, potentially HR/your boss.

[@mattuwu9978]

*his mother. Username is Kevin, his mom mentioned being pregnant (which, as of right now, is an impossibility for trans women).

[@katherineknapp3782]

I think trans-rant grandma would be surprised to learn that kids as young as 3 understand that they are a whole-ass person with distinct traits/goals/preferences. My son does “mommy and daddy impressions” just for fun sometimes. At no point does he think that doing shirtless push-ups will literally turn him into his dad or that wearing glasses and sighing a lot will turn him into me lol 🙄

[@rebny7801]

That sounds like very sofisticated impressions. It might turn him into an actor!

[@jamesonmiller8283]

To be fair, in her story as a child she wanted to be a dog and in adulthood she became a crazy bitch. So it kind of makes sense.

[@rosenrot234]

It is kinda cute how often kids just mimic their parents for fun. That behavior is baked right in because they're learning lol

[@seigeengine]

No, actually. Three year olds don't understand that other people are persons. Obviously they know that acting like something doesn't make them that thing though.

[@rosenrot234]

@@seigeengine No they're quite aware what people are at that point. The brain and voice are just at different development levels so they might not know the words yet out loud but they're quite spongey at that age

[@LadyPlants]

Purity culture in the southern part of the USA is disgusting. Very young girls marry their fathers, they wear white dresses, do a father daughter dance and make promises to stay pure until their wedding day to their husband. It's more common than I would like and gives me the ick.

[@sunnyandthechlo]

@@LadyPlants Yeah they get a purity ring and have ceremonies where they pledge themselves to their fathers until they are given to their husbands. Good way to teach your daughter she has no control over her own body or self. Grosses me out.

[@UnicornsPoopRainbows]

I'm from northern Indiana and purity rings were a thing there too. A lot less but I knew a few girls who had them. Grossed me out

[@John_Weiss]

Total incest gives from that.

[@blueStarKitt7924]

Disgusting.🤮🙄

[@alisaurus4224]

My parents gave me a purity ring in 9th grade (no pledge dance at least) and i absolutely planned to wait until marriage. I lost the ring in college, as in physically lost the ring but had still not even kissed anyone. Mom said years later that she noticed i stopped wearing the ring, ASSUMED I HAD BEEN ASSAULTED, and then didn’t ever ask about it because “you wouldn’t have wanted to tell me.” Points for not going the “you little slut” route, i guess, but WTF Mom?? Spoiler alert: when i did in fact get assaulted, i definitely didn’t tell her.

[@sohnoterra16]

Another thing to consider with family members stalking you is that some people may not even believe it's possible for family to stalk you, "because they're family", which can result in them giving estranged family contacts or putting you down for "not making an effort to reconnect" or whatever.

[@wintergray1221]

My ex-father definitely stalked me and once tried to kidnap me from the school parking lot. I screamed obscenities at him loud enough to alert the teachers and he booked.

[@waffles3629]

Yep. There is a good chance that whenever I manage to go no contact the only people who will get my address is my sister, and two of my cousins. Because they are the only ones I can trust to not share it.

[@woofexe4050]

Parents say they want to live, laugh, love their way into your heart but instead they kill, scream, hate their way into your soul 😔

[@LittleGreenCar514]

Some people grow on you... like fungus. Some of these people are parents

[@AIHumanEquality]

@@woofexe4050 Live Laugh Love sounds like cultist codewords. Is it just me that thinks that?

[@AIHumanEquality]

@@LittleGreenCar514 That seems like an unfair statement. We shouldn't insult fungus like that. Unlike insane parents they actually contribute something to the world.

[@NinnyPrinny]

@@LittleGreenCar514 As a giant mushroom who gained sentience, I feel offended to be compared to these people >:(

[@ac1d._.r0tz]

Literally this

[@CC4real]

38:46 Horrifying to think that OP's 10 year old cousin is still stuck in that house with a monster who will prey on her and a "mother" who will not protect her

[@edene.4870]

Well, if it helps, there's a chance the 10yo is safe for a few years yet. Creeps who like 14-18year-olds don't tend to go after pre-teens, so... OP should find a way to save the cousin in the meantime.

[@MelissaWickersham-k4o]

@@edene.487018 year olds are legally adults. Anyone below that age would be a child or a teen.

[@edene.4870]

@@MelissaWickersham-k4o You realise that these kinda semantics aren't the gotcha you think it is? It makes people wonder if you are one of the ones who think it's perfectly acceptable for a 40 yo. man to have an intimate relationship with an 18yo. As long as the number of the age contains "-teen" in it, they're teenagers, as far as I'm concerned, and anyone above the age of 30 going after them ephebophiles.

[@LRM12o8]

@MelissaWickersham-k4o I don't see how that clarification that eighteen year olds are adults (adult TEENagers, btw. You're still a teen until your 20th birthday) is relevant? Unless you want to insinuate that having a s3xual relationship with one's own stepchild who is also still living in their (step-)parents' house and dependent on their (step)parents' money magically turns totally okay and harmless for the dependent child with no power imbalance, causing at least an indirect coercion, once the child turns 18! 🥶

[@MelissaWickersham-k4o]

@ A sexual relationship with one’s own stepchild is inherently bad because the stepparent should act like a parental figure to their stepchild. Parental figures should never be sexually abusive to their children or their stepchildren.

[@Lucius_Moon]

The therapist mom seems to be the type of person who sees acknowledgement of wrong doing to be the same as an apology

[@sandalaris]

An abuser contacting you again is such a constantly anxiety inducing fear. Mine doesn't even live in the same state (last I heard) and I still fear them finding me. I impulsively make up situations where they could contact me, amping up my own anxiety and yet I still can't stop moments of making up scenarios

[@tealkerberus748]

Are you able to get help with that? Imagining scenarios where things can go horribly wrong like they did before is one of the things I've been working on not doing for years - and yes, I'm formally diagnosed with cPTSD. If your trauma symptom is making your anxiety worse, that's time to look for help.

[@sandalaris]

@tealkerberus748 I see a therapist, I also have cPTSD, and am on meds for it, and while it happens less than it used, it still happens fairly regularly

[@bobbywamsley4828]

That's something I struggle with too, even being over two thousand miles away. Feels like it's never far enough and I might have her wind up on my doorstep begging to stay the night which means permanent stay. My egg donor has flatout said to others that she wants to harm me, her own lies managed to somehow manifest in her head as reality. Glad you got help in managing it though, you may think things are bad or be paranoid but things will work out just fine. It becomes a state of being dealing with abusers, thinking the worst case scenarios to keep a step ahead

[@huggelion]

the worst part is that i know so many older people who used to be very inclusive that have lost their minds cuz of the internet that they are just full of hate for reason other than that one person online is telling them to be. and with that i also want to remind people that its not all older people but some of them are lost and some of them can be helped

[@sunnyandthechlo]

Yes! My parents used to be normal and now they believe every conspiracy they see and are raging republicans. I've had friends say the same about their parents. My mom used to be pretty accepting as long as we explained stuff to her but now nobody needs explanations as long as they're crazy enough on the internet.

[@misakimei8715]

My dad has turned into a conspiracy nut-job, anti-vax (though he himself is fully vaccinated and grew up seeing the effects of polio), and queer-phobic. The recent bigotry hurts me even more than the first two because firstly, as a kid, him talking positively about gay and trans people was def the reason why I didn't fall into using homophobic and trans phobic slurs (they were pretty commonly used by my peers over here -India, and secondly, I am no longer confident he or my mum for that matter( Even she is listening and agreeing with him) , will be supportive if they ever find out I'm queer. I am now terrified they will turn physically violent and/or tell me to leave our house.

[@vaishnavirao5319]

​​@@misakimei8715 That really seems bad considering our country seemed to be turning more towards being open but ya the wave is definitely having effects had some on me for a bit I'll admit but I am happy to be out of it now. Maybe you could try showing them the more sensible side of the net and news, and slowly try to get them to change their mindset. More power to you, personally that's what helped me from getting completely swept off by the radicalism. Somewhere even they might be aware of what's happening to them. Just a suggestion on my side if it's recent and not very deep rooted there's a bit more hope.

[@petercaliver]

"Hope you're having a good day, because that stops now!" Is such ominous foreshadowing right before the US election results started coming in

[@Chifaire]

The other day we were celebrating my niblings (12yo, 10yo and 6yo) birthdays with a party for the family. My youngest nephew had painted his nails, something my mom have stopped commenting on after both my sister and I had several conversations with her about painted nails not making my nephews girls or means that they want to be girls. After dinner I was sitting next to my nephew playing with his hair because he enjoys it, and I made a tiny ponytail with the hair on top of his head. I joked that I need some elastics so I can make more ponytails with the hair on the sides. My mom started teasing my nephew about how he was a girl now, saying his auntie was turning him into a girl, and she kept calling him by the female version of his name. My nephew kept saying he wasn't a girl, he was a boy, and I was trying to shut down my mom using my "no-nonsense-teacher-voice", telling her that he says he's a boy so that makes him a boy. I also made sure to say that boys need to put their hair up also, and that anyone can wear nail polish, makeup or anything else they want, because I want my nephew to feel comfortable wearing things he likes. I could tell my mom was starting to get annoyed with me for ruining her fun, so I quickly ushered my nephew out of the dining room before she could blow up on me. She has dementia so by the time I got back in the room she was still annoyed with me but didn't remember why so she just glared at me and made snide little comments about everything I said.

[@grmpEqweer]

Ah, lovely.☹️

[@tealkerberus748]

Kind of impossible to teach new ideas to someone with dementia. I'm sorry for your situation, but at least you have an awesome relationship with your nephew.

[@MelissaWickersham-k4o]

@@tealkerberus748 Not quite correct. Someone with dementia could have some trouble retaining what they have learned because their memory circuitry is slowly being destroyed. Both short term and long term memory are affected. The process of forming and consolidating new memories is one of the key neurological processes that are severely impaired in dementia due to the progressive destruction of the hippocampus. However, dementia patients can still learn new skills. It’s also likely that the mom had trouble learning something new about gender identity because she refused to be taught something new about it due to her background and the fact that she was having fun teasing a kid.

[@cattheace17]

you know it’s gonna be a good one when the intro has karen wig click

[@artheenbyrogue804]

This made me realize that I had insane parents (mum). I plan on escaping and never looking back for uni. Thank you for these Click. And to everyone else who has an insane parent, you guys deserve better. Sending my love

[@Bread16091]

Good luck! I hope you’re life gets better:)

[@artheenbyrogue804]

@Bread16091 thank you I appreciate it

[@tijgeke87]

im glad you realize, make sure you have things like birthcertifiate secured... a bank account with only you ny name on it to start with. i hope you can get away soon.

[@Seeathecat]

Hope you manage to escape successfully!

[@artheenbyrogue804]

@@Seeathecat thank you!! I plan on going to uni next year off of some scholarships. After dealing with so much transphobia, homophobia, threats of being kicked out, and verbal punch downs when my mental health was poor, I'm hoping it'll all turn out well.

[@reggiereggiesauce5755]

38:53 I remember seeing a picture of someone in a protest, wearing a jumper, jeans, and trainers, holding a sign saying ‘this is what I was wearing, tell me I asked for it, I dare you.’

[@waffles3629]

Damn, that takes so much courage

[@reggiereggiesauce5755]

@ I know, if went through that, I think it’d take me a solid year before I could even look at those clothes again, and they were definitely a teenager when the picture was taken

[@searchwoman529]

When I changed my name to suit my gender identity, my mother tried to guilt trip me using my dead father just like the tattoo girl's did. Apparently keeping the family last name doesn't mean anything. All she accomplished was ensuring I take my partner's last name when I get married.

[@justalittleturtle5600]

In cases like that, I like to think the deceased parent, if they loved you, would want you to be happy. A name would be nothing in the grand scheme of you achieving happiness. If my child ever changed their name because they didn’t like it/felt like it didn’t suite them, I wouldn’t care. I would be excited for them, because they’ll probably be really excited for their new name. Like, I would be so excited to throw them a birthday-esq party for their new name. Because they’re my child, and what makes them happy and healthy makes me happy. Screw your mom, that’s such disgusting behavior.

[@cheddarcheezit2647]

My dad got my deadname tattooed after I came out, and I was lowkey like "ooh, that's embarassing. I'm the only one of your kids that still talks to you (well, texts on holidays), and you wanna do that? Aight, bet". A few years later, my voice is as deep as his, my social security has my real name on it now, and the poor guy is left with a random name tatted on him 😂

[@mattuwu9978]

I was named after both of my grandmothers; first name for my paternal grandma, middle name for my maternal grandma*. When I changed my name to Matthew my mom’s only complaint was “well _I_ would’ve gone with Maxwell or Quentin if you were born a boy, but your name’s cool too, I guess (insert exaggerated sigh)”. I then informed her that if she did go with Quentin I would’ve changed my name anyways lol *middle name went from Judith to Jude - I wanted to keep a part of it because I loved my grandma Judy very much

[@searchwoman529]

@@mattuwu9978 Why can't they just be happy for us for once?

[@mattuwu9978]

@@searchwoman529 oh, I don’t know if it came across in text but the comment my mom made was all in good fun. She’s been very supportive of me ever since I came out - she even paid for my top surgery ($7000 since insurance refused to cover it) and funded the entire trip + hotel stay since the hospital that performed my surgery was 3 hours away. She’s amazing, and I wish every trans person had a mom like mine.

[@curiousnerdkitteh]

16:56 My family doctor (GP, not even a psychiatrist) literally told me I couldn't be depressed because if I was smiling too much. Him plus my trained-as-a-nurse mother convinced me of this so I spent 6 years needlessly untreated. 🙄 Same doc when I told him I had jaw pain said "it's from all the talking" (yes, I'm AFAB) and winked at my dad and made that hand-jabbering motion. I have a much great doc now, moved to another town, and no longer have a relationship with my narcissistic parents either who would only gaslight and mock me, guilt trip and feign offense and hurt when I expressed unmet needs or said that any of their behaviour was unkind. I now have chosen people who love me and are shocked by that behaviour.

[@AIHumanEquality]

@@curiousnerdkitteh Do these people get their doctorates out of a cereal box?

[@Voidi-Void]

southerner?

[@spambox3624]

Shouldn’t be a doc at all, his manners worse than a child. I’m so sorry :(

[@John_Weiss]

That GP is a hazard to the health of his patients.

[@waffles3629]

Ugh, as a teenager I had a doctor dismiss my period issues as "stop being dramatic". In my mid 20s I had my "drama" surgically removed and recovery was almost as bad as my mild periods. Yeah, I had a whole organ removed and my biggest struggle with recovery was the lack of energy to make grilled cheese.

[@Dutch_Man68]

All kids deserve parents, not all parents deserve kids

[@edene.4870]

Yeah. Like Click keeps saying, "people should need to earn parenting licenses before they get to be parents, but there's too much ways something like that would be abused."

[@Phoebe5448]

And my mum doesn't understand why my abandoned, emotionally abused and neglected aroace self is ending the bloodline with me.

[@arWeniu]

I loved the first post haha bc in Germany there was a HUGE meme where w*ed was ACTUALLY called Brokkoli 🥦

[@petrfedor1851]

In Czech weed is casualy called grass

[@alphawolfun7840]

Nur weil Alkohol legal ist, heißt nicht, dass Marihuana Brokkoli ist! >¦{

[@feuerling]

​@@petrfedor1851 in german too

[@AIHumanEquality]

@@arWeniu Reminds me when people thought my bag of sugar was drugs. Haha.

[@jofero2317]

"Cannabis isn't broccoli, just because alcohol is dangerous" "Nur weil Alkohol gefährlich ist, ist Cannabis kein Brokkoli"

[@curiousnerdkitteh]

"A professional traumatizer?" 🤣 But seriously, that person should NOT be a therapist!

[@AIHumanEquality]

@@curiousnerdkitteh How much you wanna bet they're not licensed?

[@JustARoamer]

@@AIHumanEquality oo yeah didn't think about that! especially if their with a religious organization!

[@waffles3629]

​@@JustARoamer yep, I did "family therapy" when I was 6 years old that ended with the "therapist" telling me "You know, if you were happy your family would have a lot less problems". Six, I was SIX!!! Pretty sure that person was a "faith counselor". Then again it could've been an actual therapist given my experiences. Yeah, apparently I was supposed to apologize to my sperm donor "for being rude and hurting his feelings to make yourself feel better" because I was offended that he -told me I was going to ruin his life when he learned I hated my chest and want top surgery -tried to convince me "to just be a lesbian" when I came out as trans by telling me a story that ended with "I'm ok with lesbians, it's just a shame they aren't available to men" (and just to make matters worse the story was about minors) -told me he thought "it's worth the risk for real grandkids" ("the risk" being "my life", and "real grandkids" meaning "not adopted because he wants them to share his genetics") Another one threw my trauma in my face, then kicked me out for having a panic attack because apparently that meant I "was refusing to cooperate". And yet another one blamed every single problem in my life on me being asexual. Including relationship issues with my spawn points that have existed since I was 6, and health problems I was born with. Sadly a lot of people become therapists for the wrong reasons.

[@ilianceroni]

6:11 another alternative to the “dress of the wrong colour” (besides white as Click mention) is black, you know, a funeral dress. That’s a less common but still plausible option😂

[@StarWizardGanymede]

Red too, which implies you've effed the bride or groom

[@chickenanon]

I'd actually say black or red would be fine, they can have negative connotations but they're common fancy dress colors that people like to wear. They both look nice in a "black tie" crowd. It could've been black to a pastel wedding, but i think it's more likely white--or just whatever color the bride/bridal party/etc was meant to wear. Like i know Chinese weddings have a ton of red, and i believe Indian brides often wear red, so there's a few options. But from how she was leaving out any details of the colors, i doubt it was a subtle as black or red. Frankly most people understand that not everyone has a ton of fancy clothes that's just casual enough for a wedding, let alone having vague knowledge of what clothing colors can mean in various cultures. It was either something as obvious as white, or very specifically went against the bride's direct instructions in such a way the mil thought she could just say she "misunderstood" but this is a pattern and the kids aren't actually stupid.

[@lilina_who]

I went to a my second cousin's christening dressed in dark blue as my grandfather had passed away just the week prior and I wasn't alone in doing that. We did that to honour him and at the same time though said no black as we wanted the light of the event to shine through despite our grief.

[@Ktr-1142-ema]

And that’s my sister three kids out of wedlock with pedophiles, and then she wonders why we actually were worried that the kids might be in danger

[@Dfarrey]

I was in the middle of watching this video when I got a message from a friend saying they had decided to go NC with their dad. They made the right call because he's definitely the sort of parent you would see on this subreddit.

[@BlazeNStar]

They can sleep easily at night knowing they really don't care about boundaries of their children, making then want to cut contact, and yet, thinking it was wearing the wrong color of dress is the only thing she did wrong, and the response was unwarranted.

[@barrylangille3523]

I have a feeling that relatively minor dress thing was really the straw that broke the camel's back. There comes that moment when you realize the person is never going to change. It might be something major or minor, but suddenly they realized mom would always be like that.

[@theducksass5614]

I find it funny but also sad how every reader knows “I wore the wrong colour dress to my son’s wedding” means “I wore a white wedding dress to my son’s wedding” even though she is very clearly trying to phrase it so we don’t pick up on it, but this sub, man…

[@aleksabanjevic8316]

Like, if it wasn't that, she'd say what it was, like "she asked for magenta, but I wore pastel pink thinking it would be fine, can you imagine how pedantic she is" but going soooo far out of the way not to mention what the color was.... Yeah it's so sus. Like, just say what the color was?

[@lizard3755]

I once read on a wedding related subReddit a story where the OP learned that her future MIL and SIL were secretly planning to wear wedding dresses to OP's wedding. Instead of calling them out, she told all her other guests with wedding dresses to wear them so they could get another use out of it and she wore a pretty purple dress instead of a traditional white one. I thought that was both a fun idea and also a very classy "fuck you" to her shitty in-laws

[@mazeltovcocktail2.0]

Yeaaah my mother blamed me for the SA I experienced from her husband. I moved out and cut contact at 17 and earlier this year she died from liver cirrhosis . She never apologized or tried to make up for all the misery she had caused and since I was the only person who could handle her affairs I got to find out that she had no friends or anyone who really cared about her in the end, except for my grandmother. I wouldn't say it's karma so much but I think the op who got victim blamed by their mom will find that mothers like that end up being their own downfall a lot of the time. Please know it was never your fault and like Click said, you're not alone. If you're out there OP, and good on you for trying to break the cycle of abuse with your daughter. I really hope you continue to flourish.

[@RenegadeDesigns]

One thing I've found helpful is to be extremely open with those around me why I'm in no contact with family. Hard to recruit flying monkeys when all the people you could potentially turn into flying monkeys have been told about the human trafficking you took part in/still do.

[@ruths_youth]

14:00 so lemme get this straight: he wants his 12-yo daughter to serve, specifically, strange men to earn a relationship with him. A 12 year old... who cannot even legally hold a job, around men she doesn't know, to *earn* the support that her father is morally obligated to provide to a minor. Must be actively trying to get his daughter preyed upon.

[@probably_notbob5794]

Sooo disturbing!

[@kokatze5864]

The shelter would most likely not let her, 12 is too young for most animal shelters though some may allow it with parent supervision.

[@troy8788]

4:40 something that this parent, much like all horrible parents, doesn't understand is that it wasn't just because she wore a dress of the wrong color, that might have been the last drop. It's not because of one "mistake", it's probably because it was the last one of a thousand others

[@barrylangille3523]

That's what I commented elsewhere (but you said it better!)

[@candiebarr6745]

Wait... did those emails say daughter 2 was 12 and that he wanted her to volunteer at a homeless shelter and specifically help men? Are children even allowed to volunteer at a homeless shelter?

[@probably_notbob5794]

Isn’t that so weird? I guess homeless women don’t count. It does seem like a weird place to want a 12yr old to volunteer

[@kokatze5864]

I havent worked at any shelters for humans, but most animal shelter you have to be 14-16, 12 might be ok if your parent is with you the entire time but different shelters have different rules and ive worked at one that was 18+.

[@candiebarr6745]

I thought id look it up. Places seem to vary between 16 and 18, but i found a local-ish organization that says 15+ for the stores/office/fundraising and 18+ to volunteer at group homes/shelters/mental health programs. 'Cause, you know, working with the homeless also means increased chance of mental health/addiction issues and increased health/safety risk to volunteers.

[@edene.4870]

​@@probably_notbob5794I'm confident in saying that parent probably thinks homeless women don't deserve help, because it's their own fault for being in that situation.

[@ijakoan]

Some places do allow kids to come along with their parents, but its more like a "bring your kid to work day" thing, not the kid volunteering on their own.

[@samuelbarber6177]

Wow… I am 18, not a parent and unlikely to ever be a parent but I am very, no, supremely confident that I,an idiot, would be a much better parent than basically any of these people.

[@tealkerberus748]

It's an amazing self-esteem boost for any loving parent. Like, yes, I made mistakes when I was raising my kids .. but holy blazes, not like that!

[@waffles3629]

Yep. Like literally just treat your kids like people instead of puppets and you're already a better parent.

[@supertimerip]

To the LGBT+ community here in the U.S.: Stay safe out there. Protect yourselves at all costs. You are valued. You are loved. Never stop fighting.

[@nrgpup77]

Arm and protect the community. Sending love from a random ally

[@fireninja5669]

we'll be fine but yes protect yourselves

[@db_524]

Thanks, much love from a Bi-Ace woman.

[@rabidfirefox8914]

The queer community survived the AIDS epidemic, we will all survive this. Buckle in and prepare

[@nathryl03]

This is your regular reminder that you're all awesome, beautiful and valid little beans, just the way you are ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 Love you all ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

[@DoctoberPlague]

I needed this today. Thank you 🖤

[@trans_girl_the_meme_lord]

Same loves to u random stranger on the Internet to for this comment I appreciate it ❤😊

[@MillieBlackRose]

My new kitten is named Little Bean. She will be happy to hear she is valid. 😊

[@nathryl03]

@@MillieBlackRose Little bean is an adorable name for a kitten, give her a little boop from me (but only if you want)💜

[@nathryl03]

@@DoctoberPlague I'm glad I could help a little 💜

[@RustyShackleford101]

43:23 "Ooookaaaaay thank you very much, that is all I needed to hear from you, stay the hell away from my child and good day" was the correct response.

[@LocalWeirdoEli]

omg the fifteen year old one makes me so mad. i was majorly taken advantage of online when i was fifteen, and if my family had found out and reacted like that, then i would no longer trust them with anything. edit based on comments: wow ok. lol.

[@AIHumanEquality]

@@LocalWeirdoEli I've had the opposite experience before. Over controlling parents who blocked me from talking to their teenage daughter because I was an adult. All I did was ask how she was doing and about her schooling and similar stuff. Nothing weird about it. Just normal friend conversations. Insane parents seem to come in both extreme ends of the spectrum.

[@Nyxedmisfit]

@@AIHumanEqualityhow old were you and how old was she, though? I’d be uncomfortable if a grown (20+) adult was trying to be friends with a teenager.

[@AIHumanEquality]

@Nyxedmisfit Sounds like you're a victim of fear based paranoia then. There's nothing wrong with conversing with anyone of any age as long as the topic or action isn't inappropriate. I've helped many teenagers in my 20s and 30s deal with their issues without being creepy about it. It's quite normal in many countries to just be friendly with everyone regardless of age.

[@rebesim]

@@AIHumanEquality I don't think the parents in that situation are overcontrolling, I think they're just looking out for their kid because an adult trying to be friends with a minor definitely is weird, unless you're related to said child and being nice to them because they're a family member. Even if you weren't trying to groom the child, it still may come across that way to the parents because a lot of conversations between groomers and their victims start off seemingly normal and then evolve into something much worse. From the parents' perspective, they saw their child talking to someone much older than them and stopped it before things could go south, which is good parenting. Just because you say you have good intentions, doesn't mean other people do, and befriending a teenager could cause them to befriend other adults who will end up grooming them. The parents have a responsibility to protect their kids, which they did, because it's better to be safe than sorry in situations like that.

[@AIHumanEquality]

@rebesim There are many ways to look out for your child other than trying to control who they can and can't talk to. Especially when the person in question is clearly not being creepy. It's a pretty big red flag to me for any parent who wants to limit the communication of their children with others. I know in America there's this strange paranoia that everyone's a predator but that's simply not realistic. In fact the majority of predators in the world are not strangers but people in families or who are already close to the family. In this case they could have for example simply monitored the communication between me and their daughter, that would have been far more acceptable than just cutting her off completely. "Protecting your child" is not an excuse that justifies controlling or paranoid behavior.

[@jaqsre]

throwback to when my dad texted my sister that she’s “hot his child anymore” when he was drunk and then deleted it, hoping she wouldn’t have seen it but she did 😍 13:08 holy shit there’s more of these parents in this exact video, what a treat !

[@waffles3629]

Ugh, did he know that deleting texts off his phone doesn't delete it off the other person's phone?

[@silkwesir1444]

@@waffles3629 it depends

[@keriiberii]

my mom is so similar to a lot of these and it's scary. she did some really messed up stuff to me when I was a teenager (including basically stealing my child??) and every time I've tried to bring it up I get "You're misremembering that's not how it happened" like sorry the memory of you accusing me of a crime is seared into my brain lmao. I'm not misremembering.

[@bakugoukacchankatsuki6434]

I'm slightly stuck on her trying to steal your child. Were you a teen parent? Did you have other support? Why did she try stealing your child?

[@keriiberii]

@bakugoukacchankatsuki6434 i was 17, basically i told her i was struggling mentally (lifelong issues that were never taken seriously) and needed more help taking care of kiddo (dad wasnt around), her and my step dad told me to go spend the weekend at a friend's house and they'd watch kiddo (she was 2) when i got back on Sunday they told me to pack my shit and leave with no warning and nowhere to go and then my mother "reported" me for abandonment and neglect (she told me it was to hurry proceedings along which is bs). so not only was i already struggling, now I had even less support and less help, and she took advantage of that to get full custody, then took further advantage of my mental state after an abusive relationship to get me to sign over full rights. but all of this never happened according to her lmao

[@keriiberii]

@bakugoukacchankatsuki6434 I forgot to mention that she saw my daughter as her "bonus kid" before any of this happened and always complained about how she'd always wanted 4, not 3. that's prolly the main reason. I was also always treated as the black sheep in the family for being depressed and undiagnosed audhd

[@catpoke9557]

@@keriiberii This is all basically exactly what happened to my cousin. Can't believe it's that common

[@kirstygunn9149]

My favourite quote about family is from Bobby Singer in Supernatural " Family don't end with blood". I love it because he's saying that just because you share DNA with people, it doesn't mean you can't find a new loving group of people to be your real family .

[@Moon_x_sun]

So true! Bobby was def more a farther to them than their dad. But it is an amazing quote from the show

[@bakugoukacchankatsuki6434]

Didn't Dean add onto it later on by saying "family don't end in blood but it don't start with it either"?

[@tealkerberus748]

All humans share about 99% of our DNA with each other anyway. And 98% with the nearest chimpanzee.

[@beyedoc]

Watching this to cope with unmedicated anxiety on US election day 😭

[@LAZERSH4RK]

I can’t believe KZbin kept this from me for a whole MINUTE

[@ColumbinaLove]

SAMEEE

[@j4ck_0ff_j1ll]

that’s crazy bro

[@Bugdoll]

Kept from me for TWO!

[@noxthedremoralord2683]

It kept it from me for THREE!

[@TheDarkstar801]

THE AUDACITY!

[@harleyjune]

All of these sound like my mother in law. My Fiancé had a seizure one night while staying at mine as teens (never had one before) and we took him to hospital. By morning she had posted on Facebook about his situation, desperately fishing for attention/sympathy despite him outright telling her not to disclose HIS medical condition. She then didn't bother to visit him in hospital and I ended up taking him stuff he needed and sitting in with him because his mum didn't want to. His sister ended up in hospital as well once and she didn't bother to visit until just before open hours ended because she was 'busy'. She was eating pizza and watching a movie. His sisters friends ended up going to their house, gathering her stuff and taking it to her instead.

[@themadkingatmey]

I love how the angry shoe mom begins her rant acknowledging her opinion was unsolicited, unwanted and unasked for only for her to continue ranting and raving for multiple long paragraphs all because of a video of her grandson wearing his mom's shoes. It indicates some degree of self-awareness but not enough to actually do something about her shitty behavior.

[@Johnny_Shields]

She should post his picture around the town warning people about the PDFile.

[@AIHumanEquality]

@@Johnny_Shields Depending on where you are that could be considered slander so I wouldn't. Though I understand the sentiment.

[@yellowkoi1054]

I recognized the broccolis immediately, and for a while, I was really confused over why anyone would make such a big deal over their kid accidentally spilling some veggies while eating in the car. 😅 Then it was revealed that the mom really thought the broccoli bits were weed, and I don't know which scenario is more ridiculous. 🙄

[@waffles3629]

My egg donor once interrogated me about the "drug residue" she found in my bed...it was dandruff. Apparently cocaine and dandruff look identical???

[@cijmo]

The string about the one helping with the stairs: that text conversation went on about 20 minutes longer than I would have let it. As soon as she started all that, I would just turn my phone off and go back to work. It's funny when you do that because when you turn your phone back on, there's this string of "Talk to me!" "Answer this text!" "Hello?" "I need to talk to you!"

[@waffles3629]

Yep. I once kinda did that. And by "kinda" I mean I was going on a trip with a friend that would bring us out of cell tower range for about two days so I couldn't get the messages. My sperm donor misremembered how long I'd be gone for and started blowing up my phone a whole day before I was supposed to get back. Because apparently "gone for the entire weekend" means "get picked up on Friday night, spend the night at his house, drive four hours to get to your destination, and somehow be back by Saturday evening?". I wasn't supposed to be back until close to midnight on Sunday, but based on the time stamps he was threatening to report me as a runaway (I was 19, so literally couldn't be a runaway) by 10pm Saturday. All because he couldn't bother to scroll a whole single text up to where I'd said when I'd be gone and when I'd be back.

[@k0ktt_tiktok]

39:00 the saddest one though is the woman who was assaulted at her own wedding, in her wedding dress, by the groom and his friends. :(

[@TheAlwaysConfusedStay]

Remember people, the phrase isn’t “Blood is thicker than water” it’s “Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” Edit: I- Lordy I didn’t mean to cause an argument. Sorry

[@AIHumanEquality]

@@TheAlwaysConfusedStay That blood be thicc tho.

[@izzywolflover]

I told my boomer adopted mom hat and she flipped because “how dare correct her”

[@idiotwithacomputer3470]

From the Wikipedia article for “blood is thicker than water”: “Writing in the 1990s and 2000s, author Albert Jack and Messianic Rabbi Richard Pustelniak, claim that the original meaning of the expression was that the ties between people who have made a blood covenant (or have shed blood together in battle) were stronger than ties formed by "the water of the womb", thus "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb". Neither of the authors cite any sources to support their claim.”

[@M_M_ODonnell]

No, it isn't. That version was invented by reactionary evangelicals in the 1990s.

[@jpbaley2016]

@@M_M_ODonnellThen why does Matthew 10:37 write: He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. The Christian bible demands jesus is first before family.

[@GhostyBoi7737]

13 seconds. I've reached new levels of The Click viewing

[@3CatsInATrenchoat]

His Click viewing levels are over nine thousand!

[@TIRENZARI]

I wish my phone would update me sooner-although tbf I’m not as late as usual, having a sick day so actually getting to watch it sooner the comfort of the click, some hot chocolate (marshmallows and cream too hehe) and a cold ice pack on my head I’m living the sick dream

[@froggymop]

what a great (unhinged) way to start my day

[@skelefreakarts]

I literally wake up and watch the click

[@RenegadeDesigns]

Oh hey. That therapist ex mom reminded me. My mom is a nurse who works in addiction. Who drugged her own kid into compliance by lying to doctors.

[@mothgirl2617]

Wow

[@db_524]

Big yikes.

[@that_one_raccoon]

25:20 even my wildly homophonic mom had absolutely *no* problem when i (a girl) wore grandpa’s dress shoes and my cousin (a boy) tried wearing grandma’s stilettos when we were, like, four

[@aleksabanjevic8316]

Most parents don't mind it, and didn't mind it untill fox news made them scared of their own shadows cuz it may make their kids gay.

[@waffles3629]

Yep. My spawn points totally didn't care what I did...until I came out, and then suddenly I was only allowed to be super feminine. Jokes on them, I was an adult already so that worked exactly as well as you'd expect, aka it didn't.

[@Doub1eSpark]

The mom thinking the kid would be trans because of parents smiling at the kid wearing shoes must've played Fire Emblem Fates and thought Forrest was a warning lol

[@PestilentAllosaurus]

After getting the real experience just a hour ago, now I get to watch others experience the same thing and know I'm not alone.

[@grmpEqweer]

Sympathies extended.

[@YongTre100]

I could use this today. With the elction today some morning levity definitely helps. Thank you as always Click.

[@8onnie8oyz]

Is anyone else voting Trump?

[@wintergray1221]

@@8onnie8oyz Please tell me you're joking. This is a progressive channel.

[@8onnie8oyz]

@wintergray1221 I'm serious. The dude survived 2 assassination attempts, spent an hour working at Donald's, and drove to his own rally in a garbage truck after Biden called all Republicans garbage. Trump deserves to win.

[@Voidi-Void]

Actually when i put it like that, it makes a bit more sense.

[@waffles3629]

​@@wintergray1221 they aren't, they are a troll

[@crwydryny]

That estranged mom one sounds like my ex. She didn't have contact with her daughter for about 20 years. Blamed it on her family, social services etc. First time she encountered her daughter when I was with her she straight out attacked her had her by the throat. Despite her daughter's multiple attempts to try to mend their relationship it always ended badly because as I found out the hard way, there's no reasonninng with narcissists

[@bobbywamsley4828]

It is terrifying, narcissists lie so much and warp the truth so much, they start to believe their own lies. Literally if they lied about a blue car being red or some other outrageously different color, they'll believe it and argue even with the proof in front of their face.

[@QuentinPlant]

10:45 "spank him more than he should" - no child "should" be spanked! I am so happy that I live in a country where corporal punishment for kids is illegal. There will always be people who do it anyway, but if they get caught they're in for quite some trouble.

[@MKbravepotato]

Thank you so god damn much for this comment🙏🙏🙏

[@WooShell]

"chicken tartar"... that's an interesting way to get your baby acquainted with hospitals when they inevitably get salmonella.

[@QuentinPlant]

Yep. Even if she knew the chicken were inoculated against salmonella - raw chicken is a big no-no.

[@thefurryinyourwalls]

Click, the evil reverse of a therapist is a harmacist

[@penguinos666]

Not me misreading it as pharmacist :///

[@eyesistorm]

@@penguinos666 ...i think that's the joke

[@christophsouthwell7518]

23:38 As a trans-femme NB, I in fact did not cross dress, and I was raised very religiously and conservative...so how did I "end up" being trans then if it's living in a supportive environment that makes you trans 🤔

[@eyesistorm]

Yeah, that's the biggest hole in the theory that parent are making kids trans. People that grow up in non-accepting households can still be trans, so idk what they're thinking. Although now that I'm saying this, they'll probably blame it on school or the internet.

[@lionhart1517]

Same. "You never showed signs" came up so many times when I first came out

[@wolvie1618]

Same. I didn't even know what trans people were until I was like 18. It took me till I was 25 to realize I was trans and that those feelings had been around since I was 12. If I had never been exposed to anything about trans media, or raised in a supportive environment, then how was I still trans and feeling dysphoria at age 12?

[@wintergray1221]

I didn't realize I was nonbinary until last year because I had no exposure to trans people outside of Hollywood and literature (which was incredibly negative). I'm 37. Thank you so much my trans masc stepbrother for piqueing my confusion and curiosity that led me to do research 🤟

[@rebny7801]

You know that saying: "The fact that I am still atracted to men is proof that sexual orientation is not a choice" (that joke works best at the end of a darwin award story)

[@DarkVideogamer]

w-what is with the amount of people who go "I am dating this person and should be completely attracted to and want no one else... but their child is free game." Like WTF?! People's family members are completely off the table when you're (currently or previously were) in a relationship with them!

[@grmpEqweer]

PDF files who act on it, are extremely selfish people. They enjoy the hurt they do, they feel powerful.

[@tealkerberus748]

People who abuse kids generally don't see kids as people, so in their minds abusing the kids doesn't count as cheating. Also, a lot of them are pretty comfortable cheating on their partner anyway.

[@tobiasbayer4866]

​@@grmpEqweer Big respect for clarifying "who act on it". Dont usually see that.

[@sunnyandthechlo]

@@DarkVideogamer I’m more confused about their partners. What the heck did the mom think when her daughter sent a text saying ‘hey your boyfriend sent me this text about how he’s been looking at my chest and called me sexy.’ She just went on about how she was going to do what made her happy, not a word about talking to him about it or ‘he shouldn’t be saying those kinds of things to anyone much less my CHILD.’

[@DarkVideogamer]

@@sunnyandthechlo That's also equally confusing... like how is that not a big red flag??

[@pronounhoarder_8632]

Remember blood is thicker than water. Blood shed in battle with those you choose to fight with is thicker than the water of the womb - paraphrasing the original meaning of the quote.

[@jadekaay]

Is that where that came from?

[@Maggotier-t5o]

It’s so shocking to see how incredibly delusional the people are in this video. Their child, at the very least, TRUES to cut them out of their life completely, and what does the parent do? Do they think, “Huh, maybe this is my fault? Maybe I’m in the wrong? Maybe they don’t want to talk or won’t forgive me?” WRONG! Cue the parent doing a deep dive on the internet to contact the kid and do the toxic things that made the child go no contact in the first place! Seriously, how dense can you get?

[@waffles3629]

Yep. I haven't managed no contact (yet), but every time I put up a boundary they do their darnedest to circumvent it to prove to me I'm wrong about needing said boundary. Which often leads to them calling my "bluff" (I don't really bluff, I just say facts, they still don't get this), and then wondering why I followed through on the consequences I said I'd follow through on. Blow up my phone and make me think there's a massive family emergency, only to be asked "are you free for dinner in three months?"? You'll get told if you do it again you are being blocked for two weeks. So they did it again to "prove you are being ridiculous", and then wondered why they couldn't contact me for two weeks. I got multiple rants (that I hung up on seconds into every time) about my lack of respect, because I took three hours to call them back when they decided to surprise me with a visit when I was in uni (and they live in a different city). Like that might be because you called me two minutes into a three hour test and my phone was off. Or that I would always say I was busy on Sunday afternoons, so they "wouldn't bother calling ahead because you'll just say you're busy so we'll come to you instead", and then wonder why I didn't pick up the phone when it was ringing. Like that might be because lifeguards answering the phone at work is frowned upon. They knew where I worked, I told them I worked Sundays, but no, they wouldn't just go verify it and instead insisted I was lying. After like four tries at this they finally decided to believe that I worked Sunday afternoons, so they switched to Friday evenings, because apparently it was impossible for me to work both Sunday afternoon and Friday evening....yeah, I worked both.

[@feuerling]

43:21 she's talking about "slave food" when she's giving her kid the kind of food they'd give meerkats at a zoo as enrichment.

[@tomduckworth6430]

18:53 The Click temporarily forgetting what subreddit he’s on

[@ErutaniaRose]

10:55 “Spank him more than he should”, more than zero. Spanking is abuse. This whole fam sounds horrible, I hope OP and their partner and kid are safe, and the kids of the sister escape.

[@yoface2537]

32:03 as a catholic i can confirm that there are slight taboos against working on sundays, unless of course you are a child and there's yard work to be done because "respect thy father and mother" obviously superceeds "keep the sabbath day holy"

[@AIHumanEquality]

Can't wait to see their faces when St. Peter brings that up.

[@Kurtains05]

In america, maybe😅 im an agnostic but i grew up in a catholic country (Italy) and i've never heard of anything like that, lol

[@dragonlover1476]

I grew up in an area with a lot of LDS people and some of them ~not all~ were pretty strict about it (can’t speak firsthand tho since I’m not LDS), but it’s still an odd argument to make.

[@yamato9753]

1:45 The Click is so unhinged that it will one day shake the space-time continuum so hard as to retcon hin having always been unhinged.

[@CodenameTurtle]

Seeing this, I realize again that I love my mom very much and miss her. We've experienced a lot of misfortune, but at least I always had my mom. It's sad how not everyone has that, but then again, I don't know what it's like to have a non-alcoholic dad who calls more than once a year because his girlfriend makes him. But having at least one person in your corner can make a world of difference.

[@SdKfz-gq8bh]

Broccoli and Weed are the same anyway according to a german politician. so close enough for the mother i guess

[@jessicaolson490]

3:48 Yes it's very sus that she doesn't mention the color. I suspect it's either white cream or black as in the mourning dress...

[@Gemwasalreadytaken]

random things about my school that have nothing to do with the video: A sub got fired for asking some of the older girls in my school for feet pics, and there’s a Zero Tolerance policy for bullying, but both the Bullies AND the victims get in trouble. Depending on how bad it was, both of them could fail and be held back, or be full on SUSPENDED. I’d get it if it was just to Bully, but come on!

[@grmpEqweer]

It kinda says you should retaliate against your bully in a really memorable way. Then you get suspended once, and everyone knows to not F with you after that.

[@waffles3629]

Sounds like my district. Though they did eventually have to modify the policy.....because they were threatened with being sued after they suspended a 6th grader "for being involved in a fight" when he was punched unconscious by a bunch of 12th graders. Also suspended his friend (also 6th grade) who used his body as a shield, while they were literally in ambulances on the way to the hospital, despite neither kid fighting back, and the first kid being admitted directly to the ICU. They also called the parents to inform them their kids were being suspended for fighting, and ended it with telling them they could meet the ambulance at the hospital. Like WTF???? I do not know if they still sued, just that the threat got the suspensions dropped.

[@ChosenOne41]

The grandpa randomly texting the word transgender I think was an autocorrect typo situation

[@petthequeenofmaddness8592]

ya or misremembering a word

[@myheartismadeofstars]

Probably not. I'm assuming OP is pregnant and grandpa is saying he wants to be a woman so he can experience pregnancy for himself. (Which is hilarious because technology isn't there yet)

[@vellathewench]

@@myheartismadeofstars I'm going to believe it's this because it's honestly quite sweet.

[@catpoke9557]

@@myheartismadeofstars Grandpa is ahead of his time I guess

[@ChosenOne41]

@@petthequeenofmaddness8592 Yeah, like a brain autocorrect. Or he thought it meant something else.

[@BlazeNStar]

Treating daughters, like interviewees and interns at a corporation. Even a 12 year-old? Like dude, you aren't the heartless, stone-faced CEO of a family??? It brings a whole new meaning to managing a family.

[@woodcats1]

Well, the artist at the end can at least take pride in the knowledge that her sculpture had so much power and presence that her mother thought a real demon was trying to come through via her subconscious. As a character artist, that's when you know you did a good job! ;)

[@SwirlyPinwheel]

[unhinged rant] "My guess is Kamala will probably win the presidency." [more transphobia] My election-day nerves: Promise? 🥺

[@wartgin]

🤞

[@fandomshark]

I’m with you. My Election Day nerves are so frazzled.

[@AIHumanEquality]

@@SwirlyPinwheel I hate to break this reality to people but Kamala is only slightly better than Trump. Have people forgotten how terrible Kamala has been as a judge and then congress rep? Either way the only real winner of US elections are the corporate powers.

[@redlikeroses1062]

Remember to take care of yourself and drink water!

[@AIHumanEquality]

@@SwirlyPinwheel The only real winners of US Elections are wealthy corporations. Lets be real here.

[@petrfedor1851]

"Demons want to inhale your soul!" Ah yes, human souls are like weed for demons, that explain everything!!

[@feuerling]

Kirby

[@AIHumanEquality]

@@feuerling Kirby must be sent from Hell. Makes perfect sense now.

[@curiousnerdkitteh]

I'm guessing the mom who tried to convince people her kid was dead was a narcissist wanting sympathy from everyone around her. She seems the type not to have put much forethought into it either. But possibly she has a type mental illness or neurological condition of her own which makes her not able to see the consequences of what she is doing and how it could backfire. Or she doesn't care because in her mind, hey, it's just my KID''S friends (or ""they're just young, nobody will believe them and I can delete the messages later"). I'm guessing also a way to manipulate the kid, like "see what could happen if you leave me?"