r/OffMyChest - Spilling The Tea 🍵

[@maironelfstone896]

That first story is the reason why so many of us chronically ill people worry about our relationships. So many of us see our health problems as burdens and don't want to "put up with it." I mean in this case she deserved the breakup but still, it's a real fear

[@katherinepadron0628]

Yeah, I have an ex who would tell me, "Who else would be willing to put up with all your health issues (physical and mental)" everything I tried to leave, and at that point in time I had no self-esteem. 1.5 yrs later, I met the love of my life, who was so patient with all of my physical and mental breakdowns. I had 10 wonderful years with him before he passed this past April.

[@maironelfstone896]

@@katherinepadron0628 I'm so sorry for your loss. I am so glad you found someone who supported you so much. The only partner I've ever had would constantly say things like "I can't wait for you to be healthy so I don't have to deal with this" even though my illness is lifelong/ not curable. I hope I find someone who supports me, and your story has given me some hope so thank you

[@randomapple64]

YUP!

[@geoffreyentwistle8176]

​@@katherinepadron0628that ex sounds like a nightmare... I'm glad you got out of that... My own fiancé has type 1 diabetes, and I admit that the condition is a burden. As are both her and my mental issues. But even with all of that, she is a bright spark in a gloomy world, her son (our son by association, I suppose) is a bright, imaginative, and very charming boy. I think everything she's brought into my life is worth those burdens.

[@therewillbecatswithgwenhwyfar]

@@katherinepadron0628 i'm so sorry for your loss! May his memory bring blessings and your grief be gentle. ❤❤❤❤

[@Milo-qq9vy]

I just want to say this really quick: I have been in a mental trench lately and my partner was comforting me right? He knows that I have comfort youtubers that I watch when I'm really down. He is sitting there rubbing my back, telling me that everything is OK and he asks this question: "do you wanna watch the attractive Swedish man? Click?" And i started laughing so hard. He looked at me, wide eyed, and goes, "that's what you said once, I'm just agreeing with you. He is a conventionally attractive man." God damn i love this man so much 😂😂😂

[@grmpEqweer]

Awesome guy is awesome 😎.

[@theshinypeliper8813]

Marry him /hj

[@justfaeriethings]

"the attractive swedish man" is the best click description i've ever heard lmao

[@KOKO-uu7yd]

That is truly freaking AWESOME! 🤩🤩🥰🥰🥰

[@madaboutmarceline]

Sounds like you found a keeper!

[@tornado4588]

It’s not transphobic to not want certain genitalia in a relationship especially because it’s trauma related whoever is calling her a transphobe is just a jerk

[@tornado4588]

And I’m a trans woman so I’m kinda the demographic

[@MaridoDoFelps]

True! I do find it a bit problematic though when the trans person already had bottom surgery and they still act like it's a genitalia problem. Or when they say the whole "oh but I want to have kids" as if they checked with every woman they date if she is fertile. It IS okay to want someone with whom you can have a family, but at least be consistent yk?

[@notoriousgoblin83]

​@@MaridoDoFelpsPretty much this.

[@ambabey0330]

it's also kinda sus cause she is a lesbian woman... lesbians can enjoy penetration/phallic objects, but typically lesbians don't really seem too attracted to penises, and calling a lesbian transphobic for not wanting to have sex involving a penis is honestly insanely problematic, regardless of trauma

[@anitaremenarova6662]

@@MaridoDoFelps That's a completely different topic, the person making the post clearly just has trauma and isn't even against dating trans women. Also yes, if you are 100% set on having bio children then dating a trans person would be an understandable issue.

[@NikNak500]

I've raised 5 sons, the youngest is 17. Never just walk in. Some things cannot be unseen.

[@janemiettinen5176]

Good job. Respect is a two-way street; I don’t walk into places without notifying, no one walks into my space. Also, privacy is important for everybody, not just for adults. It doesn’t even have to be about sex - we all have the need to be silly and foolish, without being seen. I think thats how we grow as humans, finding out who we want to be.

[@doktorspock8910]

Like your brother's *cough* devil's stick. I learned that the hard way.

[@metanevets91]

NVM, relisted to the story, hear the line "key to my door" and realized I missed that the first time, sorry! Gross parent

[@evobrand1210]

I can feel the pain through the text

[@RyuKyu.77]

As a 17 year old, I physically laughed soo hard at your comment 😭☠️ yep...... We teens get a little too...... FREAKY! 🤪

[@leihaddock]

As a (gay) trans guy, yeah it's frustrating (and dangerous) to date. And someone not wanting to date you cause of your bits stings, but so does someone wanting to date you specifically because of your bits (comes across creepy). Does that mean preferring one set of genitals over the other is transphobic? Nope, not at all. It's a preference, or more as in this case

[@LoremIpsum-dp1li]

I wonder if it's OK to want to date a trans person not because of their bits, but because you empathize with their lack of a dating pool and want to let them know that they are lovable. (Of course, there would still have to be some more elements of connection on top of that, like personality and shared interests. What I described definitely can't be the only factor.)

[@Guro-Blue-kun]

@@LoremIpsum-dp1li What you are saying sounds like pity to me, and I don't think anyone, including trans folks, would want that ^^; Date them because you love them =)

[@unconditionallyvalid]

​@LoremIpsum-dp1li I know it's not the same situation, but in the past, I've had false crushes on girl friends of mine out of a misguided wish to give them a genuinely healthy and positive relationship experience with a guy. Never acted on it, but always let them know about it and that i realized it wasnt a crush but me feeling indignant on their behalf, and letting them know I was there for them to lean on if they need an ear or a hand. Sometimes, it's much better to be a good friend than a possible love interest. I'm demi, so maybe I have a unique or irregular view on stuff like this, but your comment reminded me of those times. 😅 I also was never gonna act on those feelings, as not only was I and am I in a committed, long term relationship, but I knew I could support them indefinitely as a friend vs risking temporarily as a partner and the relationship not working out thus making things awkward.😊

[@LoremIpsum-dp1li]

​@@Guro-Blue-kun Yeah, I thought about it and I now think that maybe this (among other factors) could lead me to dating a trans person that I genuinely like over someone else I like, but I definitely wouldn't consider dating them if I didn't love them in the first place.

[@sun1one1]

I'm trans and I agree.

[@peepopopo7140]

Even if there wasn't trauma involved, I don't think there's anything wrong with genitalia preferences. I understand that those "super straights" are annoying as hell, but this isn't that.

[@grmpEqweer]

Heterosexuals never have to defend their genital requirements. 🤔 (I'm pansexual, so I'll take whatever's there and have fun.)

[@Crocogator]

Yep. And this poster even tried it and didn't like it, trauma notwithstanding. Calling someone like that a transphobe gets dangerously close towards Those Guys (tm) that think they can "convert" a lesbian with a good enough... You know.

[@willw6504]

Also, the OP isn't transphobic because she happily dates/sleeps with post-op trans women. It isn't the trans aspect that is her issue. Case in point, my wife, back when she was my girlfriend, admitted to me that she wasn't comfortable with post-op trans individual during sex because plastic surgery squicks her out. As such, she is the opposite of OP - she would only date pre-op trans women (or cis women, or pre-op trans men, or cis men, but those aren't relevant to the comparison). And that was fine with me since the idea of gender reassignment surgery absolutely terrifies me, so I never plan to get bottom surgery.

[@samuzamu]

I think the main issue is that us trans people are so used to being treated like poo and being rejected, so we're kinda sensitive to how people talk about us. "Genital preference" has been weaponised by hateful people against the trans community. Really sucks for OP and other people in similar situations, you should never be shamed for what your're okay and not okay with in a consensual relationship.

[@SingingSealRiana]

​@@samuzamuyeah, its this thing where genuine hate and abuse has people see thrwats and attacks that are not there or attended as a trauma response, does not make it right to act like an ahole too and it harms the cause, but in where it comes from its really understandable

[@Ecofriendlyant]

OH MY GOSH HE'S SMELLING US AGAIN FOR INTROS I'm so happy

[@V3nxiao]

@@Ecofriendlyant I DIDNT NOTICE☹️

[@datdamfandom]

You'd think we were [insert name of questionable substances] by the way he was snorting us... /s/j

[@V3nxiao]

@@datdamfandom magical powder

[@Billaxle]

Sometimes I feel like "You Smell Amazing" sounds like code for "Go Take a Shower" lol 😅

[@alicebthegachaweirdo8378]

@@Billaxle same

[@austinmoe4865]

The update to the "Overheard my wife and feeling kinda off" story is so freaking wholesome. Made me so happy for them

[@ShanRenxin]

For once the mature path is taken and results in a wholesome outcome! THANK GOD!

[@azurethescaletipper210]

Freakin’ clapped when the guy said “And then we went to the couch and she showed me something.”

[@Logitah]

Exactly! ❤ Wanting to be wanted is human and communication is the key! 😊

[@julyol119]

Yeah, I love hearing about people having good communication!

[@mjjoe76]

I also like that the comments on the original post called it. Ex was otherwise useless, and she knew it.

[@Lee-yl4ul]

My favorite response to those stories where someone is questioning paternity when you're 100% certain is to be like: "Alright, how about this? I get a paternity test done, in whichever and how many testing facilities you like, and if you're right, I'll pay for the tests, and even throw an extra thousand bucks on top of it. But if you're wrong, then you eat the costs of the tests, and have to pay me the thousand bucks for wasting my damn time. Also, we'll of course be getting this agreement in legally binding writing. What do you say?"

[@willw6504]

Honestly, I'd probably have just lied. Crazy Person: "Have you don'e a paternity test?" Me, lying: "Yes. I have **insert genetic illness** and we did genetic testing to get early warning for the child. So we have a mapped DNA proof." It might not work, cause a freak-out of that level suggests untreated mental illness where she might not believe proof, but it at least might have headed things off before the snowball got rolling.

[@SaintShion]

​@@willw6504 for real, but next thing you know your docturing a fake paternity test cause she just HAS to see it. Like stalkers dont work on logica sadly

[@laylagriffith1916]

THIS

[@jake8748]

There's more updates to that story. She went more psycho and unhinged. OP found her just sitting outside their house and she tried to either confront or attack OP etc.

[@SaintShion]

@@jake8748 starting to sound like a K drama.

[@ScarletShade13]

Falling in love with your therapist is something that happens to a lot of people (so much so that it's part of any licensed therapist's curriculum to learn how to deal with that situation ethically and empathically) - So talking with the boyfriend and/or therapist would be the best step to take.

[@hawkeyescoffee6399]

Yup, I believe it's called transference.

[@seapoup1556]

Some theories (Jungian, I think) posit that transference can be helpful. Putting the therapist on a romantic pedestal creates an opportunity for the client to learn to tear down the idealizations and see the therapist as fully human/ flawed. This is a valuable skill for all sorts of relationships: to love a person not just your image of them.

[@grmpEqweer]

☝🏼​@@hawkeyescoffee6399

[@grmpEqweer]

IMO, she's not being listened to or treated respectfully by the boyfriend. Her TDoc feels like water in a desert. ... Doesn't sound like a good relationship exists with the BF.

[@Sly-Moose]

@@seapoup1556As someone who once had feelings for a therapist (nothing came of it thankfully), no, *that is a bad idea*

[@chaoticayana656]

I'm a trans woman. Not wanting to interact with penises isn't transphobic. People have sexual preferences for literally everything, if theirs isnt towards penises, for whatever reason that's valid. It'd only be transphobic if you were suggesting people who did interact with them were in some way no longer lesbians.

[@MissJoyce88]

Thank you! I was wondering how people even call it transphobia. I’m cishet and sorry but I’m not sexually attractive to the female genitalia but that doesn’t make me transphobic. If we follow that reasoning I would be considered misogynistic for not wanting to have sex with a cis female 🙄

[@Missiletainn]

Another trans women here! Lesbian too, 100% agree. As long as someone is respectful about it, it's not transphobic. I know a lot of us are on edge with the political state of the word, but we need to save calling people or actions transphobic for actual transphobic actions.

[@SingingSealRiana]

The thing about sex and genitalia is, it is kinda gross if you are not into it. No shame to anyone enjoying it and for some weird reason I am only friends with reather kinky and open people, so I know more then I ever needed in my life, if they talk about it, their exitment makes things sound genuinly fun and I am happy fir them, but I know I would absolutly hate and be disgusted by all tgat if I where in those situations. I am ace, my preference is hell no, I can talk or read about it in the right contexts but even a kiss gives me a panic attack of to much and gross.... If not finding a penis on a woman attractiv, where transphobia, what would being gay be, being misogynistic? Do I discriminate against anyone?! Peoole often lack the ability to switch perspectives, that their own preferences are not universal and what you yourself do not like, feels gross to you, even if you have no problem with others doing it means on the other hand, others might feel the same way about what you yourself like... Calling all and everything transphobic takes away from actual often quite dangerous transphobia... Its sad that hearing a sensical oppinion on the topic has to be a breath of fresh air We cant chose what or who we are attracted to, we can very much chose not to be an ahole about it! You do not need to be someones narrow preference to be valid!

[@MissJoyce88]

@@SingingSealRiana totally fair and loved your perspective on it. And tbh even when attracted to it, sometimes it can still be a bit gross 😅 Your comment made me think also about the fact that I’m even grossed out about the genitalia of men I’m not attracted to even though they have the right part down there if they don’t have the whole package let’s say, it’s kind of icky and gross 😂 so for me there has to be physical and mental attraction before I’ll even go there

[@JUNJYR]

I know I'm talking about a very specific case, but it would be ironic if a trans gal who planned to have all the surgeries told a cis gal she's transphobic for not wanting to date her. Darling, you have dysmorphia and you plan to remove your own peepee, why would you force someone else to be into it? 🙃 It's like hetero men trying to "convert" lesbians; you'd think they'd be the first to understand being attracted to women and not men.

[@TheDarkstar801]

He always tells us how we smell absolutely amazing but have WE ever told him that he smells amazing too?

[@strawb3r_]

who tells the smeller that he also smells lovely? 😪 so tragic

[@elaineb7065]

He must have that "new plushie smell" which makes you want to burrow your face right in. His partner must find him irresistible (don't know if he has one but I find it best to assume KZbinrs have one if they're no: ace, or, going through a public break-up

[@ogurasyn2354]

Do you know how he smells🤨?

[@dash0mysh]

@@ogurasyn2354yes, of course

[@dek4714]

time to sniff through the screen! (not in a weird way not in a weird way not in a weird way)

[@suburbanmama0062]

My kids are adults. When they are here and their doors are closed, we knock. I wait for my son to come to the door or if he yells it's okay, I crack the door enough to say something, then shut the door. If they have company and they have their door closed, I just text or call them. My husband does the same. The kids would rather die than come near our door if it's closed and call or text if they really need something. Mutual respect is part of it, and, part of it is that none of us care to see something we'd rather not see. Knowing your parents/kids/siblings do adult things is different from having that confirmed.

[@lorettabes4553]

My mom does the same ❤

[@harvestkitty]

My kid's a teen and while we don't have door locks, I still knock and wait for him if his door is closed. It's common decency.

[@lucario7974]

I always asked for that to my now ex girlfriend family But they would always break to the door to the point of breaking the secure And they will demand the door to be open or constantly check on us And the worst part is that she would defend them saying is their house I just feel amazed by how normal was for her not having even the right to privacy

[@waffles3629]

​@@lucario7974 it's amazing what you can get "used to" when you don't have a choice. I frequently lost my bedroom door as a kid for things like -Saying I hadn't done something I hadn't done (while being accused by the spawn point who'd done it) -Not doing something I couldn't have been told to do when they claimed they'd told me to do it (like apparently I'd been told to empty the dishwasher three hours ago despite school ending 30 minutes ago and I got off the bus 3 minutes ago) -Slamming my bedroom door (from another state apparently) -Slamming my bedroom door (from school apparently) -Slamming my bedroom door (from 6 hours drive away in the middle of a lake, yeah, the door was a theme because my window was the right spot for blowing air through the upstairs, but if you forgot to doorstop the door it would slam from the slightest breeze due to the angles) -Showing the chore list I'd been given to prove something wasn't on it (I had no idea you could erase permanent marker from paper, who knew). Oh, and when my door was gone I was forbidden from changing in the bathroom. Which I did anyway because fuck that, literally anyone in the upstairs hallway could see my whole room. It just extended the days my door stayed off every time I was caught. Even if they accidentally fessed up that it was one of them who did it, my door would stay off "because you refused to accept responsibility". Yep, my punishments would be upheld because I refused to accept responsibility...for something I wasn't responsible for.

[@EdibleStars369]

My mum eventually bought me a sign for my bedroom door that said "report to reception before entering" or something like that, because of the amount of times I shouted at her for knocking but just coming in without waiting. At least she would wait after that though

[@ItRemindMeOfHome]

The girl who said she doesn't like AMAB bits, totally get it. Like, I'm a pre-op trans woman and I totally get it, I've dated a lesbian who had a similar aversion. Girl, I hate it too. Certified not transphobic.

[@Lapantouflemagic0]

not gonna lie, the way the whole thing is phrased makes me think the whole LBGTQ+ community gotta be a bit unhinged. what the hell does AMAB means ? i had to goggle it up. if you didn't know through echography / genetic testing and see at birth that the kid has a penis, it is male. it is not "assigned male at birth" it just IS male, that is the biological definition of male. But specifically stating it like that make any NORMAL person think that she's talking about sexually abiguous kids for whom a choice was made to assign them as male, which is a very weirdly specific thing to be against. but no, no, that's nothing of the sort, she's just lesbian, and being lesbian, she doesn't like penises. That's it, that's perfectly understandable. There's litterally nothing to think about the whole situation, but because of some deranged terminology everyone is left scratching their head in confusion.

[@ThingInTheHall]

Insert angry "wAaAa ur evil response", dont care enough to be sarcastic enough. Also "Girl I hate it too" is funny

[@evobrand1210]

"Girl, I hate it too" made me laugh though

[@ombrenightcores]

Penises are just weird as a whole. It’s why a majority of dildos look nothing like them. No wonder gender dysphoria is a thing.

[@RyuKyu.77]

But there's a way to communicate you don't want the bits but you gotta do it in a way you don't trigger more dysphoria for the trans person

[@mika-san8879]

okay so for the parents in the "i caught my son having gay time with his bf": god's already watching over your son, yeah? so why do you need to snoop on him? let the big man do his job

[@metanevets91]

NVM to my first comment, relisted to the story, heard the line "key to my door" and realized I missed that the first time. Gross parent...

[@Dice-Z]

Shrodinger's god: God is simultaneously everywhere, nowhere, all powerful, powerless, infinitely forgiving, or strictly enforcing the bible, infinitely kind, mysterious and beyond comprehension if not, responsible for all good things and doing everything to help, or making sure everyone has free will when he doesn't, all bad things are a trial or punishment from god, or satan's influence. Then the religious person will select whichever explanation is most convenient, as if they understand god, when he's beyond all understanding.

[@joelceda3500]

I'm also pretty sure the bible says to leave judging people (ethically, not legally) to god, and that doing otherwise makes you a sinner. So they don't even follow their own religion.

[@ombrenightcores]

God is a voyeur ✨

[@Misstborn]

there's a lot of hostility in the trans community for any exclusion based on our bodies and to an extent, I think it's reasonable. And yeah, it really sucks to not be able to enjoy something with someone because your body isn't what they like, but it's not their fault. They aren't saying no because you're trans, they're saying no because of your body and that has to be valid, otherwise we're telling people that they have to enjoy... activities... with others regardless of whether they actually are comfortable with it.

[@Misstborn]

Thinking about it and gods- I'd be heartbroken if my gf broke up with me because I'm pre-op (not all trans women want surgery and it has to be even worse for them, but I do) that being said, it probably wouldn't bother me as much if it were someone new. But yeah, trans people's dating pool is almost non-existent and it sucks, but it isn't always transphobia.

[@rolfs2165]

Heck, op didn't even say they don't want to interact with those people - they just don't want to interact with _that bodypart._ So as long as the pants stay on, that's still fine as I understand the post.

[@grmpEqweer]

​@@rolfs2165 Indeed. It's solely about what they have in regards to bedroom tackle, not about them as people.

[@sylverscale]

Totally valid and shouldn't be an issue. Never understood why some people want to basically coerce someone to have intimacy with someone who has an anatomy they're not comfortable with. And way too often it's not even the person who got rejected.

[@LoremIpsum-dp1li]

Yeah, I sympathize with you on that small dating pool, even though I'm not transitioning right now. (I was questioning for a while and I'm still not sure if I'm trans or not.) I get that body preferences are a thing, but I wonder how many more cis people would be open to dating/f'ing trans people if it were more normalized.

[@CassetteGlitch]

According to the testimonies of several escorts, "emotional escort" is already kind of what being an escort is for a lot of people. I've only ever heard stories from female escorts who had male clients, and basically a non-zero percentage of male clients pay escorts litterally to hang out with them, listen to their emotional troubles, and spend quality time together. Several have reported having clients that don't even want to initiate anything sexual and just want someone who'll give them affection and lend them an ear.

[@LilChuunosuke]

Yup. I've seen soo many stories where an escort literally got hired to cuddle, watch Netflix and literally just chill, play video games, chat, etc. I'm sure its more pleasant for the escorts than what they're used to, but its sad that people feel so isolated that they have to pay people to spend time with them.

[@galaxychill9578]

honestly that sounds like a budget therapist

[@tealkerberus748]

@@galaxychill9578 An escort can cost as much as a therapist. The big difference is that if you get a crush on your therapist, that's too bad. An escort will let you be in love with them for as long as it takes for you to get over it.

[@kawaibakaneko]

​@@LilChuunosukeDepends on the escort, ex escort and author Virginie Despentes explained she couldn't handle these kinds of client, she didn't want to carry their loneliness and sadness

[@wardrobewings8000]

Ok, that "That's okay, I'm ready to be a mom. " line is brilliant. Mentioning you have a family member who specialises in family law would probably deal with anyone who didn't immediately wrap it up 😂

[@alisaurus4224]

This doesn’t always work. I had a guy who wanted to knock me up after less than two weeks dating, and his stated reason was so i could never leave him. Buh-BYE

[@wardrobewings8000]

@@alisaurus4224 While I'm sorry this happened to you, OP was talking about one-night stands. People approach those with a slightly different attitude than dating

[@Jillberto]

I just dont understand how they "forget" about STDs?

[@nyxstyx388]

I had my adult nibling stay with me for a year. They were 18 and needed a place to stay. When I found condoms in their room I just told them "Good, don't get pregnant and remember that condoms don't block all STIs/STDs" and made sure that birth control was in play. I also said as long as no one gets pregnant while they are living with me then that's my job done, just be safe.

[@Frostfern94]

Nibbling??

[@museick6233]

​@@Frostfern94Nibling (one b, not two) is what some call the children of their sibling. One's niblings are their nieces and/or nephews. Nibling = niece/nephew

[@Grave_of_the_Sea]

That's all you should do ey, unless you want to see some horrors lol. Also, I never understood why some people make a big deal out of people staying with their parents after turning 18, it's really not a big deal at all

[@bobchisholm7487]

Regarding homeschooling: I'm a very withdrawn, introverted person. What I got out of going out to school was learning how to interest with other people, which is just as vital as learning facts and figures.

[@ambabey0330]

i mean we are seeing the effects of large-scale "homeschooling" with the children who missed their first few years of elementary school back in 2020-22, kids don't know how to socialize at all

[@gilded_lady]

Socialization is as important as anything else you learn in school.

[@nicoles.3583]

I was homeschooled nearly my entire k-12 education. It was the best outcome for me as I was only diagnosed with autism as an adult. My mom stuck me in 2nd grade school and immediately realized something was wrong when I started to hate learning and was constantly disciplined for being "too disruptive". Aka I was stimming in my seat (bouncing my legs, clicking my pen etc). My mom sat in class one day and was horrified, and then immediately pulled me out. We were fortunate to have that option as a) she was a stay at home mom, and b) she literally had just gotten her masters degree and my dad was a professor, so they were equipped with the knowledge and tools to teach me. Best thing that ever happened to me and it's the whole reason I managed to succeed in school

[@fredskull1618]

@@nicoles.3583I think a case like yours is the only situation in which homeschooling is justified.

[@ladykoiwolfe]

​@@ambabey0330they were socializing online. They had periods of class working together on projects. Just because they were behind computer screens doesn't mean they weren't seeing and talking to other kids. It wasn't quite the same but it wasn't cut off either.

[@mr.perfectcell1887]

I'm bi but also ace. I'm not interested in real sex at all. Mostly just fantasies. A word I heard thrown around for it is Aegosexual, a sub category of ace identity.

[@calih2011]

Same here. Honestly, finding the term made explaining how I function to my partner a little easier

[@SingingSealRiana]

Its also common for not aces, that certain things are enjoyed as a fantasy, but very much not in reality. As with split attraction, its just more common to think about the lines in ace spaces. I can read some erotica and even enjoy it, but for me, placing myself in someone's place or fantasising directly interacting with anyone, no matter hoe fictional makes me wildly uncomfortable ... Its always interesting to learn how different everyone is

[@86fifty]

Me too! Thanks for putting the word out there, it's really helpful to have a descriptor for one's experience.

[@mr.perfectcell1887]

Thanks, everyone, for their replies. I too am happy getting to hear everyone's personal experiences.

[@LoremIpsum-dp1li]

I like how "aegosexual" literally translates to "not-me-sexual".

[@IrelandFyre]

Someone tell that 19 year old who's mom walked in on him that he wasn't topping? He probably doesn't wanna confuse those things in certain circumstances. Also, as a mother to an 18 year old son, why tf did she just unlock and walk in to his room when the door was LOCKED?? Give your legally an adult son his damn privacy! I don't even just walk in on my 13 and 15 year old boys and that's after having lost one to self harm. We ALWAYS knock and, if they say don't come in and your worried, just say "ok kiddo, just as long as you're ok. Come talk to me when you have a minute" and they say "ok, I'm fine. I love you bye"

[@Rapandreas]

The censored word could be "riding" or "blowing", which would make OP the top. Just saying.

[@IrelandFyre]

@@Rapandreas that is completely valid. I didn't really note the censored word and was mostly going off of how she read it. And then I had the thought that it could lead to some uncomfortable situations if he said one thing meaning another to someone.... and I've kinda been in a similarly awkward spot so.... yeah 😅

[@MetallicPetals]

The saying "no hate like Christian love" is so common for a reason.

[@Amethystar]

As someone who was raised Christian and still has an affinity for the teachings of Jesus, I've started using that phrase more. I don't think my mom was a fan, but it sure is a way to catch them off guard and hopefully think about what it means. (She's great, my family is pretty great overall, but some of us have... deconstructed more than others.)

[@catdownthestreet]

I was watching this video with my dad, and he paused it to say exactly that. It's sad that so many people understand how the phrase has stuck around for so long, including my dad. (His parents are fundamentalist Christian btw. His mother told him he was at fault for getting SA'd as a child. She said something about his "sinful nature" or whatever, just because it was a guy who did it to him. Needless to say, I do not call them my grandparents anymore.)

[@leviholt4557]

I was told I couldn't get pregnant because of my endometriosis and I'm now two and a half years into raising my beautiful chaos goblin of a daughter

[@grmpEqweer]

😊

[@janemiettinen5176]

Same with my sister, she is mom of four now.. thats why its called *practicing* medicine, they are never fully ready and done, I guess 😂

[@unconditionallyvalid]

CONGRATS🎉 that's wonderful!

[@leviholt4557]

@unconditionallyvalid we're incredibly happy that both of us are healthy because I definitely had an at risk pregnancy (even needed an emergency C section) but over that first year we both gained our strength. It was really nice that my nurses wrote my preferred male name on my room's board too

[@Grave_of_the_Sea]

Aww shame, so happy for you dude! (South African version of shame)

[@SerenaMarenco]

I'm fearing for your pristine shirt with you shaking that cup of coffee 😅

[@QuentinPlant]

This - I prefer him having "solid" cups or mugs, because the moving liquid in the glass cup pirated all my attention. I had to scroll back and actively listen ;)

[@bshap495]

I was hoping he wouldn't "spill the tea." (or coffee in this case)

[@petdrask]

Literally just drink your espresso !

[@Account_Not_Applicable]

"There's a lot of stuff to human attraction.." As a demisexual who has somehow developed a [ahem] crush on Peter Capaldi (namely as the 12th Doctor in Doctor Who), yeah, I can attest attraction can be caused by a myriad of factors. There's a bonus "TrueOffMyChest" post for you guys Edit: the first time Click has hearted a comment of mine, and it's a confession of wanting a man 37 years my senior. At least others can relate :3

[@iainwmacintosh]

Yeah, as a demiromantic there has been a time or two where I had a conversation with someone, and because of how well it was going and how well we clicked I begun developing romantic feelings towards them. Human attraction is basically as varied as humans are, two people using the same label might have a differing definition of what it means for them (for instance, I'm definitely hetero and allo sexual but I can't see myself seriously being interested in someone ik sexually without having an emotional connection, so what I'm looking for is more akin to being demisexual as well as demiromantic, but ik for sure I'm not demisexual, I'm definitely allosexual) ig another "TrueOffMyChest" as someone who loves to "overshare" (not really oversharing but definitely something that can take a conversation from casual to deep which ik some people may not be comfortable with, which is why i try to reign it in sometimes)

[@QueenOfCavies]

You have taste. 😉🍷

[@RealCoolstriker64]

Based choice of Doctors, btw

[@imperfectimp]

I'd never heard of the term demisexual, so I looked it up. I think you just gave me a whole lot of mental homework. Definitely going to read more

[@ladykoiwolfe]

Interesting term. Had to look that up. I get the attraction to Capaldi, he's amazing. My first three crushes are very indicative of the sort people I'm attracted to. They also happened to have died long before my time...well two did one was only a bit before. Lincoln, Billy the Kid, and the ever glorious Marilyn Monroe. I should have realized a lot sooner that I'm not actually straight...but it was stigmatized not to be.

[@Ashley_Graves_1]

So, as a someone who was homeschooled for her whole life, i actually have a few things I personally would like to say 1. I live in the USA and during my elementary school years, my family lived in a really bad neighborhood. Like a cops are called every other day type neighborhood and my parents decided to homeschool me because they didn't want to risk my life in a "school pew pew" so to say considering that was a real risk. So i understand that. 2. Middle school age is where my family finally moved out of the neighborhood but... They kept homeschooling. Now... this is where things got difficult for me. I had no friends throughout all of my childhood because of the bad neighborhood. I don't think my parents are to blame for that, but... I wish i had gone to a public middle school. Yes, it was still manageable. And i even joined a local scouts group and a homeschool group to try to make friends. It worked- uh sort of. 3. Highschool came around. At this point, i was teaching myself. I was still part of the scout group and homeschool group, but again, I was at home. I was the one who was teaching myself. I had the school books, sure. But books can only do so much. 4. Finally, I graduated. I have a diploma and everything like that, but what i didn't have is friends. The scout group and the homeschool group were run by Christians and had pretty much brainwashed their children so, when i came out as trans and queer... all my "friends" i made throughout middle school and highschool left. Now, all my friends are online. I don't know how to socially interact in public. I don't know how to make friends that are offline because the only places that i was ever able to do that was at churches. I sometimes wonder if me having gone to a public school would've changed the outcome. Maybe i would've realized sooner that i was trans and queer. Maybe i would know how to make friends. I don't know. Point is, i agree. Don't homeschool your children

[@miridroge6043]

Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best for th future! Maybe try joining a queer group in your area or a hobby/sport that offers classes where you already have a topic of conversation

[@grmpEqweer]

I sympathize. Friendships are difficult for me for different reasons. ❤

[@nicoles.3583]

I was also homeschool nearly my entire k-12 education (except 2nd grade). The only reason it worked for me was a) I'm autistic and was miserable in 2nd grade (grades were good but I started wetting myself suddenly and would always lose recess time due to stimming). B) my parents were educators, so they were up to speed on all their teaching skills. And C) I grew up in a small town in Arkansas and the public schools were setting everyone up for failure. My brother went to public middle school and in his science class they were drawing for their homework. Math was a similar situation, it was absolutely horrible. If the public schools in our area were better, we wouldn't have been homeschooled. And by the time my sister got to high school she ended up enrolling in a boarding school with a good reputation. But yeah it is a lot of work and homeschooling doesn't work for everyone

[@ladykoiwolfe]

I understand. I went to too many schools. When you move as often as I did you don't see the point of getting involved in other people. I didn't make many friends. I say many because I was blessed by an anomaly. There was one kid who moved as often as I did and somehow was almost always in my class. Stability is good. Stability and socializing is better.

[@lilparmesancracker]

Could not agree more

[@_AstaLily]

I just found out that one of my cousins, around nine, is homeschooled by her parents, my aunt and uncle. She said “most people are homeschooled anyway so people school isn’t that common”. I worry her parents are telling her this so she won’t want to go to school. I wonder what else they’ve told her. I know I’m being irrational but I do worry that if they’ve told her that lie, what else have they taught her that could be misleading or downright false?

[@lilparmesancracker]

That’s not an irrational fear. It might not be true, but it’s definitely possible. My mom frequently told me that homeschooled kids were smarter and just generally better than kids who went to public school, and she made school seem like this scary place where everyone would bully you and make you miserable. It took me years to deconstruct, and now I am a strong advocate against homeschooling. I can see the same thing happening to your cousin

[@QuentinPlant]

Perhaps you could offer to aid in the homeschooling every now and then, on topics that you have extensive knowledge? A block of some hours every few weeks or so on Zoom or so - "I have expansive knowledge in X, so I can teach her about, this way she get's the best education she can." The kid gets a break from only being around her parents 24/7 and you would get more insight into the situation.

[@_AstaLily]

@@QuentinPlant I don’t know if I can arrange that. I’m not that close to her parents, I’m currently in the middle of an intense time where I need to study, and they’d probably get suspicious. I’m not sure there is anything I can do in this situation.

[@vellathewench]

@@_AstaLily Maybe just try and keep contact in case she needs someone to talk to. Someone who won't judge and might be able to help if she does come to you with something.

[@twilightwisdom5139]

Homeschooler here. I was homeschooled by my mum who was a qualified teacher, she still pushed for social interaction and my sister and I probably had a higher quality education than if we had remained in school. I missed out on some social stuff of course but I don’t really care that I missed all of the shitty teenage boy stuff that happens in school. Anyway now I’m in my second year of a bachelor of education and I strongly recommend not homeschooling your kids.

[@feviana8852]

I was not homeschooled, but i moved a lot and had a hard time making friends, and sometimes my parents had to makeup some gaps either because I moved in a bad time or because the new school had higher standards than the last. My parents have degrees, my mom is a veterinarian and a chemist, my father is a mechanical engineer with a minor in history. They are awful teachers, hard to follow, making weird analogies, going in tangents, etc. And I'm smart, I cam pick things up pretty easily, even from books, but teaching is not as easy as people make it to be, and I was prepared to be against your coment at first, but it makes me happy that you know that just because your mom could do it, doesn't mean most people can.

[@twilightwisdom5139]

@@feviana8852 that sucks and I know a lot of other people who ended up in the same boat as you. I went to Virtual School Victoria in my final three years for my VCE so I could get into uni more directly, and I met so many people who were really suffering due to being forced out of the school system with families that couldn’t support them or aid in the teaching. I had at that point basically learnt to self teach in topics that my mum wasn’t confident in so I did fine and I enjoyed it but it’s really not for everyone.

[@madhatterline]

Yeah, there are plenty of horror stories out there, but they are actually a tiny minority. There are also plenty of horror stories for kids who went to state schools. But home schooling is allowed precisely because the vast majority of parents who do it take their children's education & development very seriously. If they are lacking in something they find another way of supplying it, such as a private tutors, social clubs, ect. Most of the studies on home schooled children suggest the majority are very well adjusted by college age both educationally & socially. In fact, many have better outcomes. ✌️

[@memoriesfade3968]

For the person constantly called transphobic, that kind of trauma etches itself into your soul. Even after long term therapy, you may still have issues in the bedroom and that’s not your fault.

[@unconditionallyvalid]

Thank you for saying this❤

[@evobrand1210]

Exactly. Therapy might still help, but no one can say how much it might change

[@traxthetrashwizard]

Wait, with the mom who walked in on the 19 year olds: Why was she lecturing them about AIDS? Does she think that just doing gay stuff no matter what gives you AIDS? Now that Im thinking it over, soneone like that would probably believe that.

[@waffles3629]

Who knows, AIDS wasn't the specific target, but my sex ed taught me that if you had sex before marriage you would get pregnant, get every STD, and die. Described so poorly several cis boys thought they could get pregnant.

[@BryanLu0]

​@@waffles3629I don't think it's possible for her to have such a terrible understanding of STIs, considering she has a child. I think it's just homophobia

[@waffles3629]

@@BryanLu0 having a child does not make you understand biology or virology. A fellow student when I was in high school got pregnant without knowing how "because we did it standing up so gravity", went through the entire pregnancy, gave birth, and still thought having sex standing up prevented pregnancy. So when she got pregnant again it was a total shock to her.

[@lydiaboll2872]

@@waffles3629 Wasn’t that an Untold Stories Of The ER episode? 😂

[@waffles3629]

@@lydiaboll2872 I've never heard of that show (or at least I didn't know the name), but upon looking it up it absolutely sounds like the kind of story that would end up on a show like that.

[@anqeal]

i wish more people realized the K-12 online program also counts as homeschooling. parents don't have to do the work, and kids still get access to structured school at home, supplies, and professional educators. i was homeschooled for a year and a half with the program during high school and it saved me from horrific bullying

[@UpsetParsley]

Valid point

[@VinhKyVT]

THIS! My kid is homeschooled through that program and most states ONLY allow programs like that nowdays, if people actually looked into things they would understand this.

[@LadyLabyrinth1337]

​@@VinhKyVTMost parents who are absolutely dead set on homeschooling don't usually actually care about the well-being of their kids (coming from a kid homeschooled because of religion and control issues), others simply don't know how to do the research themselves or don't know what to look for.

[@qryptid]

​@LadyLabyrinth1337 that feels like a broad assumption based on your personal experience with religious homeschoolers, my experience with homeschoolers is the exact opposite, parents who want the absolute best for their children and aren't willing to watch the public school system beat their kids personality out of them, either metaphorically or literally. Clearly our experiences are so different that neither of us should assume our experience counts as "most" or "the majority" without actual research, which is hard to get because people who homeschool their kids to abuse and groom them rarely respond to such studies and surveys. Not discounting your experience at all, just saying it does a disservice to both of us for either extreme to claim they are the majority. It's not such a black and white issue unfortunately

[@R0tten_D0gz_of_justice]

my homeschool was originally just my mom. I have adhd deppression and probably other things i haven’t figured out yet, my mom made it hell and didn’t listen to me when i asked to go bavk to public school. Shes making me do schoolwork but heres the thing. THE TEACHERS ARE AI.. and the ai glitches, and worse i feel like im learning nothing because of it

[@slaanynionysus7420]

As a trans-woman, If someone is turned off by my penis, that's okay. If i don't like redheads (I do, a lot, but some people don't), Some people have certain accents as turn offs, Some people don't see them selves with certain people due to facial features they don't find attractive. IF ALL OF THAT IS OKAY, then my penis being a turn off for some lesbians, and some straight men is okay. it doesn't mean they're transphobic. At least, that's my two cents ^.^

[@RisWish]

Homeschooling is illegal here in Germany for that exact reason. The government doesn't trust parents to do right by their children when they're homeschooled. I think it's better that way.

[@strawb3r_]

I wish we had laws like that in the US. homeschooling absolutely destroyed me

[@Airemelde]

Yeah, because even IF you actually ARE a teacher, that usually means you know how to teach two (sometimes three) subjects, meaning your knowledge of the many other subjects usually taught at school is still rudimentary at best. It may work while your child(ren) is(are) at elementary level, but after that even a teaching degree won't help you keep up with public/private schools that have different teachers for different subjects (who actually know what they are doing).

[@smappositivedance]

Yeah, in my country too you have a legal obligation to send your kids to school from 6 to 16 yo. Personally I think it's a kind of child abuse if you don't send a kid to school, unless they have health problems that makes homeschooling necessary, and in that case it should be done by professional educators, not the parents. To be honest, I find that most people who say things like "I was homeschooled and turned out fine so I will homeschool my kids" turn out to be....not the best judges on the quality of education if you try to have longer discussions with them. Usually, the people who want to control every second of their kid's life and be their only source of knowledge aren't the ones who can provide the best education.

[@ladykoiwolfe]

I admit I strongly considered it because of how unfortunately common school incidents are. I was so terrified of sending him to public school I had three panic attacks that were so bad they felt like heart attacks. But I realized that even without math, which I am absolutely terrible at, I am not equipped to teach my son about the subjects I am very strong in like history and art. I am not an expert even at my best subjects. Math is vital. I know I can't teach him that beyond the basics. I had a severe panic attack on the way to enroll him in school and we actually made a pit stop at the hospital to drop me off instead. He's doing brilliantly in all his courses.

[@helslastangel]

They need to outlaw it in Canada too. I wish it had been illegal when I was a kid. Being homeschooled ruined me socially and I didn't realize how much until I was in my mid-20s and it struck me that all the "catching up" I thought I had accomplished after I left home at 18 didn't fix anything. I'm forever the odd one out among my peers unless they were homeschooled or significantly isolated in other ways as children. People can always tell when you crammed pop culture like it was an exam rather than actually experiencing moments at the time they happened. "You had to be there" is so true. It sounds minor, but when you can't click naturally with most people in your generation, it bleeds into other parts of your life. Especially work. It's harder to be promoted if not one really clicks with you because there are too many awkward moments and not enough relatability. Whenever I've been promoted or even just alright at work, it was only in merit-based environments. The charisma-popularity based places? No chance. Edit: Look like I have to put a disclaimer like every other time I say something. Below I mention "peers" because I am specifically NOT talking about personal friendships but my interpersonal interactions with people in general from the same generation. Which should be obvious when I mention the work dynamic, but yeah. Hopefully this helps so nobody else interprets something wildly different from what I said.

[@skystar59-isnt-that-cool]

the second story. When I heard you read "If you have ADHD or depression, absolutely do not homeschool your kids" I thought of my mom who has adhd (and probably depression) who during my middle school years homeschooled me, it was horrible our adhds clashed and we got almost nothing done. I learned nearly nothing and but still thankfully ended up not that much behind when I finally went to public high school and finally got to reconnect with my old friends and make new ones. Whoever that was who shared thank you. Just knowing that someone had to deal that kind of 'I can homeschool my kids' is really comforting thank you.

[@comradewindowsill4253]

my dad, who probably has autism, but doesn't care to get a diagnosis about it, tried to teach me and my brother calculus during the pandemic. brother is autistic, I'm adhd, dad was trying to instruct us in a whole different language than the one we'd spent our entire lives being taught in. it went... poorly.

[@lilparmesancracker]

My mom and sister are both incredibly stubborn, and every single math lesson would turn into a screaming match between them. I basically taught myself math and avoided my mom as much as I could

[@GirlOfTheTardis]

I have ADHD and due to an awful situation at my son's school I am temporarily home schooling my son while I find him a new school (so he doesn't miss any education during the time it takes to find a new placement), and we are doing great. He is learning faster and working more efficiently and happier than he did at school, he gets all his work done before a normal school day ends whereas at school he rarely finished a day's work. He is very happy and gets upset if I get a phone call during his work time as he wants to keep working. ADHD doesn't mean you can't home school, neither does depression, and not all home schooling is bad. Some families it works and others it doesn't for a multitude of reasons.

[@skystar59-isnt-that-cool]

@@GirlOfTheTardis Not all homeschooling is bad is true works better for some people works worse for others. The adhd was about unmedicated adhd sorry should have clarified that.

[@elaineb7065]

My heart goes out to the "just found out she's more than halfway along her pregnancy" woman. PCOS AND endo??? What a nightmare to live with!!! And whatever she does, she'll need monitored heavily. So much can go wrong in pregnancy, especially if you have other reproductive issues. I've heard about these two issues separately, but I imagine hell being defined as both of them in the same AFAB

[@auntbee6993]

My sister's friend went to the ER thinking she had really bad gas or even an intestinal blockage because of the pain she was in, she left with a baby because she was actually 39 wks pregnant and in labor. Literally my worst nightmare

[@kenziequinn3301]

I have both as well. Was high risk during my pregnancy with my now 16 month daughter. Also didn’t find out till I was 14 weeks and it was by chance with blood and urine tests

[@waffles3629]

​@@auntbee6993 I worked with someone whose mom did that with a younger sibling. It didn't help her mom was in perimenopause when she got pregnant, so it was perfectly normal to not think "my periods stopped, I must be pregnant". Yeah, her little siblings nickname was gallbladder (AKA the reason mom went in because she'd had gallstones before and thought that's what it was).

[@J.Clemons]

It is hell and most of us don't find out until we are pregnant because folks act like teenagers being in menstrual pain to drop to their knees is just "normal dramatics"

[@vellathewench]

Yeah, I have PCOS and had one child. They were 5 at the time. I was told I would never get pregnant again. Throughout the years I had many tests because periods are irregular and I just wanted a second child. I had 2 unusual symptoms (unusual because most people probably never experienced this as I did when I was pregnant the first time) and thought, nah, can't be. Finally my mom talked me into getting a test. But I told her it had to be a blood test. So I went to the doctor. Had to wait the entire weekend and then on Monday was told. 2 days later, I felt the baby kick me. An ultrasound shortly after confirmed I was already half way through a pregnancy. It was jarring to say the least. I only knew I was pregnant for 2 months before I delivered because of health complications. It was a strange rollercoaster at the time. Edited for typos

[@strawb3r_]

I was homeschooled. it absolutely destroyed what little mental health i had from living in an abusive household. it should absolutely be illegal and/or highly restricted given how common it is for abusive and neglectful parents to also homeschool.

[@grmpEqweer]

This. Abusive parents use "homeschooling" to keep their kids away from mandatory reporters. I'm so sorry you had to live through that. For me, psych meds and therapy have literally been a lifesaver. (I wasn't homeschooled, but my dad did some pretty horrible things to me...and I thought I deserved it because I was evil. Small kids tend to draw that conclusion.)

[@waffles3629]

Yep. Like obviously there are cases where traditional schooling doesn't make sense for an individual child, but that's not the case for most kids. The vast majority of homeschooled people I know have super religious parents, and oh boy the gaps in their education. My partner was taught that the world was created in 6,000BC. I knew a woman whose entire history, social studies, and civics education was...reading the Bible. She didn't know the US had a president, and the only body parts she knew about (beyond the ones you can see like ears and eyeballs) was brain, heart, stomach, bladder, and colon. But she didn't even know the correct names for bladder and colon. I know two people who had a good homeschool education, both had parents who had formal education instruction, and both were enrolled in an online curriculum by 6th grade because their parents knew their limits.

[@madhatterline]

Very sorry to hear your experience. Home schooling really needs to be regulated. But remember, there are also plenty of people who have their mental health ruined at school. Don't base it off you experience, look at the data & overall experiences. It suggests that the fast majority of children who are homeschooled have very good outcomes, if not better, but I can certainly see how a situation like this could be exploited & abused. xx

[@scp-phenomenon014]

Absofuckinglutely. Actually I thought it *was* illegal in some places but because the only people who usually know are the kids and the parents, it just wasn't common for a case to happen...?

[@Madbabbitt]

speaking of true off my chest, the click has stopped me from relapsing self harm on many occasions. id put on his videos and draw or make kandi. genuinely, thank you mark.

What is kandi?

[@jakestrider3565]

It's a type of bracelets/accessories popular with ravers and scene kids, it's really fun to make

[@Madbabbitt]

@@jakestrider3565 hell yeah fellow kandi kid

[@catdownthestreet]

Honestly same, The Click is really one of the best channels out there and I don't think there will ever be a day where a Click video doesn't make me smile. :)

[@strawb3r_]

click literally got me through the worst su1cid@l and depressive episode of my life. everything was falling apart and when i was stuck in bed, his videos would always be on. he literally kept me here

[@Photon-0]

10:43 remember your not a homewrecker if you didn't know they were in a relationship, especially if they lie about being single

[@ChuramiNakahara]

That 'husband' is truly an awful person ngl

[@Photon-0]

@@ChuramiNakahara yeah absolutely disgusting

[@elaineb7065]

This with so many bells & whistles!!!

[@SingingSealRiana]

Hell yes!!!

[@virgilmcmath6363]

i really do feel sorry for the second lady in that story she really didn't deserve all that

[@crwydryny]

Oh gods the "my boyfriend got you pregnant" one. Sounds like my ex. My best friend of 20 years is a girl. We've never seen each other as anything but friends heck we're practically siblings. My ex used to claim I was cheating with her or that she was going to have my baby... Despite living on the other side of the freaking world. Best part couple years after i left the ex. Said friend found a message from her on her fb accusing her of all kinds of stuff including havibg a baby with me... She was beggingvme to let her reply with photos of thw tumour they cut out of her womb (which was bigger than most newborns) just to mess with her

[@crwydryny]

For the record said ex had NPD and schizophrenia. And even admitted that even if she was given conclusive proof that she was wrong she still wouldn't change her mind

[@grmpEqweer]

​@@crwydryny That's a heck of a dual diagnosis. Schizophrenia is fairly treatable in many cases. ...But the NPD would tend to make her think she didn't need treatment for schizophrenia, because she's _perfect._ 😳

[@waffles3629]

Ugh, it happened to a friend of a friend when someone said he was the father. It's important to note- he's trans, he can't get anyone pregnant. Did that override the court ordered paternity test? Of course not. Did that stop him from being accused of cheating the test (for a cheek swab he didn't do himself) when his results came back with XX chromosomes? Of course not.

[@calih2011]

Homeschooling is a gamble. I have a friend who was homeschooled, and while he's very smart, he lacks social awareness. He's very sweet, but very gullible since most of his social interactions growing up were with family until he joined the workforce. Same with my friend's fiance. High intelligence stat, with wisdom as a dump stat. Remote schooling is an option now, if you have an Internet connection, so that might be a better option if you still want to "homeschool", but it's better to wait until kids have a social circle that they can hang out with after schooling is done for the day

[@schrodingerscat3741]

when my siblings and I were homeschooled, my mom took us to a homeschooling center for classes every week and we hung out with the other kids there. I don't think it was enough, but it certainly helped.

[@madhatterline]

It really depends on the situation and the child. You can send a child to many social groups, you can get them private tutors, ai, or group education. I wasn't home schooled but I can see how it could be exploited, or could be done very well. There should be regulation but overall data suggests the children that really suffer are in the tiny minority. Remember there are also plenty of people with poor social skills who went to state school, state school is certainly no guarantee of being well adjusted. You don't know if your friends lack of 'wisdom' is due to homeschooling or if it's just them, or if it's something that would have been inherited either way.

[@firecrakcer001]

Drunk drivers and cheaters are the two types of people I despise the most. The benefit is 100% selfish and is ready to avoid worth just a touch of self-control, but they don't care and lives are ruined because of their own selfishness.

[@TheDarwinProject1]

Also, dont forget about checking vehicles for trackers! Since the unhinged woman can likely access MIL/SIL/husband's vehicles, she can put trackers on the vehicles to locate individual homes! Hopefully, last OP & fam live in apartments/condos or gated communities!

[@Fischohnerad17]

As a trans person, genital preference isn't transphobic. Even when trauma isn't involved. Some people just prefer some body parts compared to others, and no one is required to like any specific body part. The transphobia/assholery comes in when a person is very loudly broadcasting that certain body parts are disgusting, that they would never date someone with XYZ sex organs, or that people with those body parts are gross (none of which op did). It's going out of your way to make people with certain bodies feel like shit that's the problem.

[@aiden3627]

My parents aren’t religious but I wasn’t allowed to have a lock on my door until I moved back in at 22 years old and even then I had to essentially petition for it and they obviously didn’t want to, they tried to were like “what about emergencies? Like if there was a fire and you couldn’t get out?” Mom the oil burning furnace is in my room and the tank for it is right outside of my room if it lights on fire I will not make it out either way and if there is a fire in the kitchen I’m right by the back door and can just leave, if the fire is against my door I’ve got a window I could pop the screen out of and hop out. Plus EVERY LOCK HAS AN EXTRA KEY! We compromised with a chain lock so if it came down to it it could be broken open but the nieces and nephews couldn’t get in, I talked them into this citing my medications that I could t put out of their reach because they climbed up and got to them anyway, thankfully I had an inkling they were in there and managed to catch them beforw anything bad happened, but they would semi-regularly climb around and knock their heads in corners and stuff which would make their parents and mine yell at me. Keep in mind I’m 22 at the time. Once I finally got my door lock all of my older siblings were envious of me for having my parents even entertain respecting my wishes because when we were kids my dad said, and I quote “kids don’t need privacy.” Saying how if kids seek privacy it’s because they’re hiding something they shouldn’t be doing. I just didn’t like everyone walking in on me while I was sleeping or hanging or god forbid doing *ehem* with myself. My dad got mad that I slept naked once when it was extremely hot because I was exhausted and he was trying to rip my blanket off to wake me up, I gripped the blanket so he couldn’t and he got mad saying “we’ll get up then” and stood there waiting for me to comply immediately then I told him my state of dress and he was confused and angry asking why I was sleeping like that and I had to explain that it was 80°*F* (26.7°*c*) that night. TL;DR kids need privacy, don’t walk in on them and make them feel exposed in their own home. A bedroom is a sanctuary.

[@aleksabanjevic8316]

I don't have a lock on my door, and it's almost always open cuz my mom is annoyed how I don't get fresh air, oh and also my room is right across from our front door, so everyone entering has a view into my room. I'm genuinely shocked when I hear ppl being shocked that I don't close door, aside from when I'm changing.... I'm 24

[@aleksabanjevic8316]

Once I get my own place I will just have like a week period where I will close the doors, the windows and not get out of the house at all, just to enjoy having me space fully

[@Hannah_Willow_Rosalynn]

I'm a legal adult, and I don't have a lock. My parents aren't opposed, thankfully, we're just lazy people. BUT! The sleeping without clothes? I get that. My mom got mad that I was sleeping with only a tank top and shorts, no bra. And I'm like- you let the three guys walk around in boxer shorts, without shirts?! If you want me to cover up, tell the boys first! 😂

[@QuentinPlant]

@@aleksabanjevic8316 When I started living alone I enjoyed having all the doors open all the time - without feeling like being under surveillance, just having a peaceful time.

[@aleksabanjevic8316]

@@QuentinPlant it's more so that I want to create the illusion of privacy I didn't have that much

[@lalalachris]

“He didn’t sleep with her but just slept at her house” I got some ocean front property in Arizona. From the front porch you can see the sea. And if you’ll buy that I’ll throw the Golden Gate in free.

[@tomato3988]

Mmm yes I love Arizona beaches, the ocean waves are so calm and still, it's almost as if they don't exist /j

[@emilyrln]

Can I interest you in a lovely cottage on the shore of the Sea of Tranquility? The view is out of this world!

[@catdownthestreet]

I'm missing something here for sure 🥲

[@kylajensen1957]

I was homeschooled via the K12 online school program, and I NEEDED it, because nobody in the brick and mortar schools in my area knew how to deal with ADHD and anxiety and a lot of my teachers treated me like crap. That said, I understand not every experience is like mine.

[@annika5893]

Couples therapy... Yeah, it's a common occurrenc in therapy to develop feelings for the therapist. It's called transference. And the therapist might at some point bring things to your attention that you're not happy about or don't want to work on, and your feelings can flip completely and you start disliking the therapist. Same thing. I've never been to therapy and I'm not a therapist, but I've read about this phenomenon.

[@grmpEqweer]

My take is that her BF is neglecting her emotional needs really badly, that's why a dollop of attention from a TDoc feels amazing.

[@grmpEqweer]

Oh, and I doubt it's fixable, but I'm a pessimist.

[@18Hongo]

​@@grmpEqweer That is another reason why people develop feelings for their therapist. It's also quite common.

[@grmpEqweer]

@@18Hongo Yeah, makes sense. I just never had a crush on one, and I have a distinct problem with sprouting unwanted (by me or them) crushes on people.

[@emsmith.]

"Some people it's specific organs and stuff" exactly. I only date people with a fully intact appendix

[@restrictedmilk]

Ha! My first thought was "yay, my husband is off the table!" But I know he isn't going anywhere 😊

[@leafykille]

My mother had a key to my room. I solved it by building my own lock using Lego! She did not like that my response to her threatening to take my Lego was that I would use the furniture if she did. After that, I got some privacy.

[@marcellemccalla6325]

That's genius 😮

[@emilyrln]

Hell, yeah! People need privacy. Also Lego is awesome 👍

[@friendlyneigborhoodbean]

On the homeschooling thing. I'm someone who does homeschool (online school), because when I was in physical school I was so anxious and depressed all the time that I'd spend my time falling asleep in class, puking, crying, having a panic attack or just outright feeling sick. I was literally having coughing fits every single night for months that would keep me up at night and literally no medication or treatment prescribed was working. Any tests or anything like that the doctors did came up with nothing and that only left one thing: Anxiety manifesting in physical symptoms. And that was after I was switched from regular school to special needs school. So like if I wasn't allowed to be pulled from physical school into home schooling I'd probably still be suffering like hell

[@Foxes_Paws]

2:24 my partner is homeschooled currently, and there's a reason for it, his parents don't think they can do better, it's just that he's autistic and doesn't do well in pressured, and social situations that school is. And he's been doing better since he was last in school, and when I playfully quiz him on the stuff that I'm learning, he keeps up easily, with a few minor challenges. I myself have never been homeschooled, and don't really have an opinion on it other than for some people it's the right option and for others it isn't.

[@cranberry420]

I'm so happy you posted today! It's my birthday, I turned 21, and I've been here since you were in the "closet"! I also remember the face-less videos! I also have two emotional support demons, glow in the dark, and pride! Next up, I'm getting zombie emotional support demon!

[@Alphaismyname]

Happy birthday!

[@alicebthegachaweirdo8378]

Happy birthday! 🥳🎉

[@Nmt28.9]

Happy birthday!!!

[@thatdisabledprincess]

Omg it was my birthday yesterday! Happy birthday!

[@arsonist127]

HDPPY BIRHTAY ! A

[@ruby-fx2eo]

I was homeschooled... me and all 4 of my siblings. At the same time. While I was ahead of my peers in some academic things, I was (and still am) so behind on social things... being raised in the middle of nowhere, having every part of my life controlled, and having no escape from my family at all... was a nightmare.

[@strawb3r_]

yep. the biggest issue is it takes any sort of escape a kid has from their family away. it absolutely destroyed me mentally to be so isolated.

[@crwydryny]

I can assure you that I smell astounding... Astoundingly bad. I just got out of work after 9 hours of heavy lifting and I have bad gas thanks to pizza and lactose intolerance

[@grmpEqweer]

...One might call you a gas giant. Planetarily speaking.

[@artheenbyrogue804]

17:20 as a trans person this person is not transphobic. You can't help with what you prefer, and it sounds like she was being super kind and understanding. Obviously if you aren't attracted to someone because of their "parts" then you shouldn't date them. It's not like she's saying horrendous stuff and whatnot, she's actually being respectful and knows what her boundaries are.

[@SingingSealRiana]

Yeah, we cant chose, what we are attracted to, just how we act about it!

[@UncleverCarapace]

Seconded. If I started talking to someone and they said, "You're cool, I'm just not really into your particular hardware," I'd thank them for not setting unfair expectations for both of us and see if we hit it off as friends.

[@UncleverCarapace]

It's like game consoles. Just because I prefer Xbox, it doesn't mean I think PlayStation is bad; I just don't like the controllers.

[@iratami]

As for the therapist post. It isn't uncommon for people to catch feelings for their therapists because they are so attentive. It is a known issue that they do what they can to minimize. But yeah, only so much one can do to keep their clients who feel under values or ignored from gushing when someone gives them that attention. If anything it is something to bring up to the therapist as embarrassing as it may be so they can either clarify boundaries or recommend a new therapist to you.

[@restrictedmilk]

Yes exactly! I've done a lot of therapy and never had this issue, but if I developed feelings for one, I would take that as a sign to politely ask if they knew someone else who was a good fit for me.

[@bellamonstrum]

I'm glad that the eavesdropping guy (so to speak) circled back to talk to his wife. I also like what she shared, because I was going to suggest the exact same thing. When I was in relationships with men who were emotionally unavailable, my responses to their behavior were turned up to the nth degree. That's because you have to work for your affection, or get it while you can. When you start feeling safe, you can settle into the relationship and settle into yourself. You also gain perspective about the previous versions of yourself you inhabited, and why you would put up with inferior relationships--how they were indicative of your level of self esteem, and what you've gained since that time. Also, I'll just say that people change. We're different people in every relationship, because we are in different stages of life, and because couples invoke different facets of their partners.

[@nathryl03]

This is your regular reminder that you're all awesome, beautiful and valid little beans, just the way you are ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 Love you all ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

[@QueenOfCavies]

Thank you. You are also awesome. ❤

[@nathryl03]

@@QueenOfCavies Thank you 💜

[@RILY_B]

Thank you ❤

[@nathryl03]

@@RILY_B 💜

[@catdownthestreet]

Thank you. 🫶

[@Misstborn]

my girlfriend and my best friend were both homeschooled, and have had drastically different experiences. My gf would've done much much better doing in person school, but my friend has definitely done really well from it. It depends on the person and family.

[@SilvrRazorFeather]

Honestly one of the most important, if very awkward, parts of being in a physical relationship with someone is talking about who initiates and how often. My gf and I have had a few back and forths with this, I used to initiate 9/10 times and she brought up that sometimes she just wants to cuddle without it going further. So I held back and let her initiate. She didn't start things much at all and our intimacy slowed drastically. Turns out she likes me initiating but not /every/ time. It's a weird thing to figure out, but the physical side of our relationship is so much better for having these conversations.

[@courtneybermack]

Emotional escort, I'm dying. I showed this to a therapist friend and he's like "yep." People getting crushes on their therapist is pretty common. It's just a thing that comes with establishing a trusting relationship where you can say whatever you want and it's safe and you're heard and supported. I mean, who doesn't love that? It doesn't mean you have to go to a new therapist; you can talk to the current one about it. It's specifically covered in therapist school. You're not alone and you're not weird and it's okay. But it might help to remember that your therapist has like five other clients that day. They make notes about each client, for their memory and also because they have to retain records for a certain number of years. Then they put all that stuff aside and go have dinner or watch netflix or smoke up or go clubbing or any number of things that you will probably never, ever hear about. Your therapist, if they're any good, does legitimately care about you. But they're not sitting there alone on Friday night pining over MP, the Tuesday, 2pm client. If they're thinking about you, it's probably "How can I help them?" or "is this a good book to read about breeding hissing cockroaches, the hobby my client holds dear" or "hey these continuing education credits are relevant to several of my clients! That's convenient!"

[@DarkRose342]

I was diagnosed with adenomyosis. With my second child, I didn’t realize I was pregnant for the first 8 weeks. The only reason I found out was because I randomly saw a pregnancy test and decided to take it. To my surprise, it came back positive! I was so shocked that I took four more tests to be sure. I had no suspicions of being pregnant and took the test on a whim. Even two years later, I’m still amazed at how it happened.

[@SingingSealRiana]

Its a dangerous misconception that one would need to notice... Women have delivered without ever realising they where pregnant due to no complications and ongoing bleedings, or always missing the bleedings anyways.. Sometimes there are no signs the a woman throws up is a dead ringer thing could jot be more wrong.

[@waffles3629]

​@@SingingSealRiana yep, or thinking they were in menopause, like a co-workers mom. Apparently she was already well into perimenopause, so when her periods stopped she had no reason to suspect otherwise. Yeah, my co-worker had a little sibling whose nickname was gallbladder.

[@leecline5759]

My mom had/has Adenomyosis but had a hysterectomy after me and my brother were born. At least in my case she only found out she was pregnant because she was going through the process of getting foot surgery.

[@dre1978]

The only times I've heard of homeschooling actually being good for the kid is when the parent doing the homeschooling has a background in teaching of some kind. Most people I've met irl that have been homeschooled are socially stunted and behind in most subjects compared to their peers

[@strawb3r_]

right. like the whole issue is that, shockingly, teachers are professionals at teaching! /s so when parents just go huh i could do that! with no background it's awful. i had so much catching up to do to be able to get my bachelors; it was unfair

[@dre1978]

@@strawb3r_ I'm honestly surprised it's not one of the requirements to homeschool. Either you have to be a teacher or you have to hire a private one out of pocket should be a requirement imo. Most parents I've seen that preach homeschool are science deniers or hyper religious and that's NEVER someone that should be teaching a child

[@madhatterline]

I don't know where you are in thd country or in the world, & I can see how these situations can be exploited, but the data suggests home schooled children are in the majority of cases doing well emotionally & educationally. Perhaps it's to do with where you live, or perhaps you are noticing the ones that are stunted more, because they stick out. Bare in mind there are also plenty of socially stunted people who went to state schools. In general there isn't always a lot of mental health support for children either way.

[@dre1978]

@@madhatterline have you ever personally met a homeschooled person? I've met a few in my line of work. Data can easily be skewed especially when talking about someone's emotional intelligence. That data also focuses on more densely populated areas, where children are more likely to have other means of interacting with others. The data around homeschooling almost never includes the ones in rural/small town areas where parents are more likely to neglect their children's emotional and educational needs. Professionals are against homeschooling outside of specific situations (medical needs for example) for a reason and I will gladly take the word of the professionals who actively study child development over any study done after the fact that can very easily be skewed or misrepresented

[@artisticblue362]

My mom had a bachelor's in teaching but literally gave up on teaching us when I was 12 😢 I also had 4 younger siblings, the youngest of which was around 5 or 6 when she stopped caring

[@Ducktherealone]

Needed background noise to continue working on a big project, and you were just on time with this upload. You smell amazing click!

[@strawb3r_]

hell yeah! i had click's videos playing for the entirety of building my catio. good luck with your work! 🫡

[@warpendragn8824]

I was homeschooled with my brother, USA. Basically bc our family life was unstable and we moved a lot, not to mention the satanic panic/genuine recent kidnapping crimes of kids who matched my baby bro's looks. My family kept records, used curriculum, and made home tests. On the one hand, it was customized for our learning style; on the other hand, we studied college level law, and my grandmother threw her hands up at math, "back in my day you didn't count below zero!" And obligatory end of days Bible study lol. Things fell apart bc life is hard. My social skills sucked until my mid 20s, I got my GED bc surprise, the public school system didn't have any records. My friends are all jealous that I didn't go to public school.

[@M_M_ODonnell]

The mention of math regarding homeschooling -- in my state, the majority of people _with degrees in math_ fail the certification test for middle-school and high-school math teachers. Not because they're not good enough for the test, but because it's not about the advanced or abstract math -- it's about understanding secondary-school math so thoroughly and from so many different directions that you can teach it to students with many different learning styles and ways of thinking about math. (People with math degrees who actually study for the test from this perspective usually pass, including those who retake after studying this way -- but yeah, knowing the material to be able to use it is different from knowing the material to be able to _teach_ it. Parents who homeschool for some of the better reasons usually recognize this and bring in help in the form of an experienced teacher or tutor, etc.)

[@wartgin]

Really good point.

[@evoltscoffee]

homeschooling is absolutely a way to fail your child. i was homeschooled preschool to high school. my only form of socialization with other kids my age was at a tiny church that was mostly elderly folks and one or two families with small kids. i graduated high school and was thrown into college where i drowned helplessly between balancing how to "school" and the crippling loneliness because i had no idea how to connect with people my age. it was a miserable experience when my only college friend graduated

[@osheridan]

That's absolutely awful. It's not the experience for everyone home-schooled, though.

[@J.Clemons]

​@@osheridanit's very common though as a majority of homeschoolers are also fundamentalists

[@osheridan]

@@J.Clemons I'm not sure that's true anymore (probably would've been pre-COVID), but definitely a large portion, unfortunately

[@OversizedXenobot]

I love his line of "one up them. pfff, you believe in the moon" that he uses to make fun of conspiracy theories cuz I have a brother who believes in conspiracy theories and has said, and I quote "the moon is a reflection". He legitimitetly doesn't believe in space! I've asked him and he doesn't believe in space, like he doesn't think there is anything out there not planets, not space. His main beliefs are about how minds shape/create the world so he says there is just unending thoughts around "the physical thoughts" wich is what he calls earth sometimes.

[@gremlininblue2601]

You should tell him it's the sasquatch agenda lol

[@anachronism5271]

Personally I find ANYONE who has a genetalia preference (or restriction) valid. It's transphobic to say "I'm not dating you because you're trans", it's not transphobic to say "I don't interact with AMAB genetalia". Bi people can preffer one genetalia or the other, some trans people only date other trans people because they understand the experience, it all comes down to the person and how they express it.

[@transmascdruid77]

I used to identify as bisexual. I now identify as aroace. I realized that I have attraction for people outside of sexual and romantic attraction (aesthetic, alterous, platonic). Sexuality is very fluid, and it can change throughout your life.

[@SingingSealRiana]

Feel you, I have crush like friendships, I experience chrush like platonic attractions but even if it can get misinterpreted from the outside, neither romance nor sex are for me. Funny enough bi/pan and ace people all tend to act somewhat similar experiencing gender blindness people who are attracted to one gender usually don't

[@b.m.w.523]

Well said! Also, I love your username! 😊

[@fanana6193]

@@SingingSealRiana What do you mean by gender blindness? Do you mean being able to treat men and women the same? Because I'm a straight guy and I have no problem with that. Or do you mean you don't see them physically any different because that doesn't make sense.

[@galaxychill9578]

no it's like having equal attraction to people regadless of gender aroace 🤝 bi/pan

[@susannairisastarte5192]

True. I am Ace Aro Demi Bi romantic

[@Joris-mu7cg]

Cerberus quack when? You announced it a couple of months ago, but it never came. Edit: I have been made aware that it takes time to make a plush, I’m just really excited 🦆

[@pooted.]

Plushie making takes time, plus with his other launches in the works I don't doubt it's been put on a hiatus or to the side :)

[@BunneahReads]

On a recent live he said that they're still trying to figure out how to make the physical plush. Turns out a 3 headed duckie is harder to render in 3d than it is on paper. They are still working on it though.

[@Inachis]

​@@BunneahReads Oh so the halloween plushies were a plan boo...

[@Joris-mu7cg]

@@BunneahReads thanks, was just really excited and don’t really follow the lives.

[@BunneahReads]

@Joris-mu7cg happy to help 😀 I don't usually follow them either but got lucky for a bit of one last week

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

I actually had a great homeschooling experience, but I seem to be one of the very few. The main reason is that we followed a curriculum set by an actual educator, so my mom didn't have to literally teach us everything herself. We had lots of free time and the chance to travel and do a load of extracurriculars, as well as spending a lot of time with other families also doing the same homeschooling program. Guess I got lucky!

[@Pooky1991]

See, your parents did you right. The huge issue is most people (especially noadays though i'm sure the past had this issue too) who want homeschooling either do it because of some culture war bs because schools are apparently "woke" now (the new anti-pc/anti-sjw term used by segments of the population to display their ignorance) or to push religious bs on their kids because they don't want them exposed to people of differing beliefs. There's a reason the bad cases of homeschooling result in kids growing into adults completely inept at interacting socially with other people or behind in many subjects. Count yourself 100% lucky because I rarely here anything good coming from homeschooling people. There should really be a criteria and checks and balances ensuring homeschooling kids aren't being abused or are actually being taught properly.

[@lilparmesancracker]

That’s wonderful! While my homeschooling period generally sucked, I did get to go on a million cool trips and I’m incredibly grateful for all the opportunities my mom created for me and my sinling

[@madhatterline]

I doubt you are in the minority, people just notice the horror & the stories & the maladapted the most. There are plenty of people who also have an awful time in state school. Some of the kids being home schooled are there as a direct result of the awful time their parents had at school. All in all most children do ok, in either setting. Better to look at the data that be influenced by stories. xx

[@aprilwendall6456]

Click, you are one of my very favorite content creators. I am a newly blind woman and my kids enjoy listening to you as a family activity (they're teens, no panic!) Thanks for the giggles and awesome content!

[@constantlychanging5623]

Story 2: I BEGGED my mother to homeschool me. Anything was better than being bullied. Yes, some kids WANT to be homeschooled. Was/Am I mentally healthy? No. But I wanted to do online public school, homeschooling, anything that would mean I didn't have to face my peers. Don't assume because you wouldn't or didn't enjoy being homeschooled that no kid wants it.

[@subgeta07]

16:51 As a trans woman, I completely understand this sentiment. The concept that not wanting to interact with a phallus isn't transphobic. The only way it becomes transphobia is when a person is disrespectful to a trans woman BECAUSE of the phallus. And no, not wanting to date her isn't disrespectful.

[@ladykoiwolfe]

Omg! I can't imagine being that mom. We moved in here when my son was 6. I changed the knob to one that doesn't lock for safety reasons. I still knocked before entering. He's now 13, so I have a few years to go before he brings someone home like that, but I wouldn't walk in on the kid. We only go in his room without knocking when he's at school. And only to gather up his laundry or put up a new tv... sensible stuff.

[@erikcat2.036]

These videos have been a perfect support. Thanks click!

[@kk99929]

I just opened KZbin and this pops up posted 57 seconds ago 😂 Guess I don't need to search for a video to watch while eating dinner today

[@nicknike]

OH MY GOD, your coffee-hand movements in the intro gave me SO MUCH ANXIETY!!!

[@QuentinPlant]

Watching the coffe splash in the cup is mesmerizing...

[@kiki-dh8ot]

3:35 Homeschooling is so bad that it is a CRIME in my contry 💀

[@autisticwitch7581]

On the flip side of the homeschooling thing, I was homeschooled most of my life, and I wish I was homeschooled my entire life because I am still dealing with back problems and problems with authority I got in elementary school from a punishment one of the teachers gave me. I still have no idea why I was punished. My parents did much more to foster my curiosity about the world and teach me problem solving than school ever did. You don't need to learn specific skills until you decide on your career. So long as you have a good grasp on the basics, are curious, have good problem solving skills, and know how to effectively research and learn, you'll go far in life.

[@heatherbagley7668]

THANK YOU I was looking for this comment!! I was homeschooled from grades 2-12, and it was the best decision my parents could have made. I was able to learn my way at my pace, and I had a good social life. Often times there are homeschool communities that get together and share learning. I had three different ones a week. I feel like homeschooling gets bashed on too much.

[@autisticwitch7581]

​@@heatherbagley7668homeschooling isn't the problem. Bad parents are the problem. Neither of my parents had any training in education. They had work books, educational TV shows, and me and my sister involved in their lives. I have a decent grasp on financials thanks to my parents answering my questions about their work, cooking thanks to my mom having me help her bake, and tool use thanks to my dad letting me play with his tools. Just having your kids involved in your life can teach them so much.

[@NotSevenRacoonsInACoat]

I was homeschooled up untill eight grade. I went to school for first grade and did not like it. My mom is a children’s book editor and author and worked in childcare for years so I got very lucky. I had a ton of friends and took tons of “classes” with my friends at their houses and out and about. I chose to go to school for eight grade because I wanted to go to high school and I decided I should learn how school worked. I know I’m incredibly lucky to have a family who homeschooled me in a way that genuinely gave me an amazing education that public school wouldn’t give me (I have some learning disability’s and I was constantly punished when I was in public school) I see so many people crapping on homeschooling online and I get it some people shouldn’t homeschool there kids but I think it’s important to remember how valuable of a resource it is for some kids.

[@Tired_Night_Owl_in_the_Woods]

It is wonderful when done right, especially for kids with difficulties or neurodivergent folks.

[@Pooky1991]

When done right it is excellent, but when done wrong, it goes incredibly wrong. I feel like there should be more checks and balances for parents who homeschool especially with how nightmarish it can become and rob some kids of vital education when the parents are ignorant.

[@whatcanidooo]

I had almost the exact same experience. My mom was a teacher and an educational curriculum designer. So basically couldn’t have asked for a better person to homeschool me. I was a weird neurodivergent kid but I was never bullied my whole life because the kids I was around in my classes were just like me. I decided I wanted to go to normal high school and so did all my siblings. I think I had the happiest childhood of anyone I know. My parents were completely non religious

[@Juli_diary-._.-]

Was having a shitty day, but the Click always comes to the rescue at the perfect time ❤

[@Sspp00kk33dd]

Hope ur day gets better ❤

[@Juli_diary-._.-]

@@Sspp00kk33dd aww, thank u sm ❤️

[@kitvpalti]

I'm a big fan of distance learning having tried multiple different types of schools (private, normal public schools, posh public schools and online) I also used to have a friend who was home schooled by her mom since the 5th grade. My conclusion is that the role of a parent and the role of an educator must never be conflated. Not only a regular person can't be competent enough to teach all the subjects it also can create a weird dynamic if the child is young for example. Therefore I think that it's suitable to consider any type of education at home when the cild can be completely autonomous is their studies and not require their parent to teach them. An example of that is online school where all the material is provided on a platform and students can also request consultations from real trachers. I also believe that a child should at least go to a normal school for the first 4-5 years of school. Its when the most crucial skills are picked up including the social ones

[@sashadoom]

I taught at a learning center for 10 years, and we had many students whose parents were professional teachers by trade, but they recognized that playing the role of teacher and parent would be less effective than outsourcing. Kids often listen and respond better to "outsiders", for a variety of reasons.

[@wartgin]

​@@sashadoom That's one of several reasons that kids were often fostered in earlier times. They would often respond better to correction and instruction from adults who are not related.

[@sashadoom]

@@wartgin Huh, didn't know that. If being fostered entailed a complete separation from family for extended periods of time, I'd reckon that could have some ill effects on the kids though (unless their home life in foster care was better and safer than with their families). How long would they be fostered? If they returned to their families when they were still pretty young, wouldn't they still not respond well to their parents since they only learned to respond to the fosters? I have questions, lol. Fortunately, Google exists! ("DYOR"☺)

[@seigeengine]

Often our sexuality can be confusing, because while we can tell if something turns us on, it's not always obvious why. The most direct answer isn't always the right one. And, of course, there is a world of difference between fantasy and reality. The shift in context can completely change things. See non-consensual fantasy vs non-consensual action.

[@succikae]

BTW falling in love with your therapist is a completely normal occurence. Many universities that you can study psychology on even teach you how to deal with such situations. Like, seriously, no therapist should be surprised (and nearly no therapist should anyhow let it evolve further, for the time of the whole therapy course at minimum). If you find yourself in such position ever, just talk about that with the therapist, they usually know what to do. :)

[@__amberxmarie__]

As someone who was homeschooled from 5th grade through high school graduation and is now working on a second masters, I still suffered educational neglect. I am high performing and was so in elementary school, so I was able to figure it out when I got to college. I BEGGED my parents to send me to school, and they refused. The result? A unaccredited high school diploma, but high enough test scores to get into college with scholarships, but I couldn’t do algebra or geometry, and I didn’t know how to write an essay. “Lucky” for me, I am in one of the worst states for education in the US, so college professors were used to teaching stuff we should have learned in high school. You are not prepared to homeschool your children. You don’t know what you’re doing. Just don’t.

[@hoathanatos6179]

Adenomyosis is when the endometrial tissues of the uterus is growing inside of the muscular walls of the uterus rather than forming as the lining, if anyone was interested. This is the tissue that breaks down and is bled out during one's period, but it is bleeding inside the muscular walls of the uterus with adenomyosis. It usually causes severe, sharp pain down there due to extreme inflamation of the uterus, which can especially affect one's ability to engage in intercourse, and it can cause prolonged, heavy bleeding during periods.

[@MidnightDreamTides]

I was homeschooled for all of middle school by my mom, my aunt, and my eldest brother. I would not ask to change a single thing. My mom asked me if I wanted to be homeschooled and I said yes. My town's middle school didn't allow proper freedom of religion (kids wearing anything that wasn't a christian cross got in trouble), hated anyone who was LGBTQ+ (I'm transmasc and pansexual), and was openly ableist. I have a cane. My entire point is, is that there are situations where homeschooling should be done and can turn out well, it's just that most of the time, it doesn't.

[@Zvane100]

Psychiatrist and psychotherapist here. It's not uncommon for patients (regardless of gender) get crushes on us. Usually if it's addressed it ends. Usually. And therapists usually notice

[@Rina-the-Polyglot]

I feel so sorry for the girl who was cheated on… now I suffer from a breakup myself with the same fear of the future and totally heartbroken

[@spoopyoz3061]

As a trans person I can totally get if you’re not attracted to certain genatalia. It’s a preference and a valid one at that

[@molasses3850]

I was homeschooled my entire education, and let me tell you, being raised by a narcissist is hard enough, but try being educated by one. And she wonders why I'm the way I am.

[@LemonPrincey]

I completely understand the sexuality story. I am a gay trans man that can't interact with or see female genitalia without feeling sick. I don't intend to have any intimate interactions until post-op. Transphobia has never been about genitalia. Even post-op, transphobes don't back down. It's social isolation and propaganda.

[@Samantha-qj9wq]

. . . EmotionalFans is a hell of an idea. Someone to just listen for less than a therapist charges? Someone to hold you and comfort you if needed? Sign me UP.

[@matthewmaccabe4171]

Regarding the couples therapist post...OP is clearly wanting her partner to listen to her like the therapist and becoming emotionally attached to the therapist but not thinking clearly. The partner not listening probably why they're in therapy in the first place etc lol. Need to either figure it out with the partner or end it and don't do anything stupid lol

[@Night_birb]

ok, i do want to say this for the second post, yes, homeschooling isnt for everyone and i absolutely agree with them about if you have depression or adhd to not homeschool your kids, but i was homeschooled as a kid and i had tutors, i was taken out of school for mental health reasons and the fact the school wouldnt provide support, my mental health took a turn for the better and i enjoyed learning again during that time, if your thinking of homeschooling your kid, make sure your have the funds for tutors and make sure it is going to improve your kids life.Hopefully my points made sense. edit: i forgot to add this but there are many homeschooling groups for kids that help them socialise, such as groups that do activity abroad as a part of geography, its with a group and its fun. I was a single child tho so this might not apply for people with 3 or 4 kids

[@Angelix_Crazy]

WHY IS HE SMELLING US AGAIN?! Im traumatized but flustered

[@catttyun]

it's so refreshing to hear a man read reddit stories and offering such insightful and empathetic commentary. I know the bar is in hell, but healthy masculinity like this seems so scarce in this social climate, that I really thank you for putting this on the internet. men like this give me hope for the future