r/Tinder | forever alone

[@seanfields2576]

Girl: *holds axe* Damien: she's got a *s w o r d*

[@claimingseven72]

Bard the Only W I D E S W O R D

[@amonkey4707]

@Juan Cortez Muro please stop the fucking spam or ill say the n word

[@Ziess]

@@amonkey4707 go right ahead. We don't care.

[@duck_medic]

he wasn't talking about the axe *insert lenny face*

[@amonkey4707]

@@Ziess Oof

[@RachelVonLee]

I died at "now number five" in chills voice😆😆😆😆

[@DoctorMangoes1662]

Same

[@DoctorMangoes1662]

@@shadowxliljr1923 impression

[@TheTrueXaver]

omg someone make a clip of that and upload it so i can like it

[@railvoidgaming5536]

Number 15 burger king foot lettuce imagine your burger king burger with someones foot fungus a man posted an image with his foot in a box of lettuce he was wearing a shoe but that's even worse

[@B0MB.C0M]

For real

[@softsims9360]

My criteria for the perfect person: -owns a sword -owns many swords -will duel me to the death -will win -will give me a bitchin' viking funeral

[@GothBoyUK]

I'm in love. 😍

[@oompaoomps2784]

...

[@alyssahallod7343]

Omg same that’s what romance is about

[@rileymoore7025]

-Must fight like men, women, and men dressed as women.

[@lootmaster1337]

3 katanas and a frostmourne replica, fight me. I also got a bow and some fireworks, guess that could work, not sure where id get the boat to burn yet though.

[@LukasDorian]

I wonder what happens when 2 bots like each other...

[@michealtm]

Tinder Launched with human accounts and only two bots...

[@Skybound.]

@@michealtm oh shit. Imagine they find each other and match

[@balmain-i3e]

After being single, my friend then asks "Can I set you up?" I replied happily "Yes!" Now I'm doing community service for a crime I didn't do.

[@frickman8065]

*n o t f u n n y* *d I d n t l a u g h*

[@Cyanin]

Too GZ not funny, didn’t cum

[@Kari-tu3fs]

This was going somewhere else, and then it went somewhere else, caught me off guard.

[@BombBird11]

You had me in the first half, not gonna lie.

[@urielc918]

@Juan Cortez Muro how about you fuck off?

[@1234OTAKUANIME]

3:22 "I'm there to disappoint real people, not robots." 😁😁😁

[@InventorZahran]

*Robot voice * Burger hello I am new rest rest Price:

[@mac1bc]

Why are you so blurry in your profile pic?

[@1234OTAKUANIME]

mac1bc - It probably looks blurry bc it's small. The original picture is big and clear

[@mac1bc]

@@1234OTAKUANIME ok good. I was going to get worried and concerned

[@nicolastaisne7910]

"you can tell a lot about somebody by their favourite soup" is litterally on every tinder video

[@NerfBlaster20]

@Silly Stars What about clam chowder?

[@redking36]

Silly Stars If you like chicken noodle soup, you are a normal human being. If you like tomato soup, you are the ultimate life form.

[@mac1bc]

Most bios I see in my area is about how much girls love tacos. Is that code for something?

[@literate-aside]

The best thing about mocking the teeth of the British is that they actually have better dental health than the US 😂

[@doodledaddle7841]

"C'mon brother" *sweet home alabama intensifies*

[@mercenarychef9465]

Paddle faster, I hear banjoes.

[@koli4213]

yeeeeeehaw

[@bryanmartinez6600]

@s3w3w pu3s I don't think my date is supposed to show up in a dust pan

[@user-3dfhdha24]

7:05 wow

[@encalica853]

aaand this comment section is closed

[@funnifunk]

4:03 that sudden chills transition was beautiful. Congrats on 1mil too!

[@shadowbird25]

It left me shook, ngl.

[@Brooklyn-Manhattan]

N U M B E R 5 .

[@kyoto3695]

@@Brooklyn-Manhattan D O R A T H E E X P L O R E R S A T A N I C R I T U A L

[@untaggedguru5602]

Note dude was wrong. Not 16 inches. 18. So if anyone wants to give me like 10k to make me 6'6 hmu

[@mercenarychef9465]

Yeah, my inner math geek got so damn triggered by that one.

[@bradlemmond]

i no rite? Why do all that math if you don't even know how many inches are in a foot? Guys online usually only mess up one measurement.

[@theolund2948]

Nah the maths is actually correct he just said 16 instead of 18

[@cjmshark1]

triggered as well glad someone commented cause i would have

[@pelican7235]

Juan Cortez Muro no

[@user-rk8kt6zu5q]

"I'm on there to disappoint humans, not robots."

[@emilyriesett8086]

*Damien, please do a whole episode in the burgerking foot lettuce voice*

[@chris-zb5zw]

..the chills voice? haha

[@mercenarychef9465]

Only if it's r/makemesuffer

[@emilyriesett8086]

@@mercenarychef9465 PLEASEEE

[@amonkey4707]

Chills Damien

[@SethAtSNK]

You mean Dylan's voice

[@Hibiki-L5w]

No one: Damien: AH HA HA Also Damien: *laughs and cures depression* Me: *sigh* he has such a way with words

[@photonman0018]

Is..... Is no-one gonna talk about how Damien called the axe a big sword in the beginning?

[@sabrinadebos4113]

I thought it was a sword too 😅

[@exoblade7620]

just what i was searching for xD

[@npc6817]

eh, could have been an extremely long sword with a very peculiar guard

[@sonataavalon6017]

@@npc6817 what hilt would be like that

[@chosenmaple99]

It’s hilarious when Damien snaps and goes, “Ladies?” 🤣🤣

[@ClaireRedRE2]

My first time commenting on Emkay and let me tell you I love Damien's voice. I play these videos all night just to fall asleep

[@npc6817]

so what you're saying is that he as such aboring voice it puts you to sleep

[@ClaireRedRE2]

@@npc6817 more like a super soothing voice that anyone can listen to and sleep like a baby.

[@dubstified]

Congratulations on **1'000'000 SUBSCRIBERS!!** Challenge video: do an r/EmKay subreddit video for it :)

[@jessiepaegeisourlordsavior2698]

He did :D

[@vespertil10]

i need damien to read posts from his subreddit in the chills voice for a whole video

[@BattleBorg69]

The high ground man commands it

[@AwesomeDude799]

4:04 I'm so glad they both got the reference. That's literally what instantly pops into my head when I hear that song now. That's from Brooklyn Nine-Nine btw if you didn't know.

[@coldsilence988]

Did you really pronounce Bristol as "bruh-stol"?

[@gingersherwood66]

Been looking for the comment about it glad I'm not the only one that caught that 😂

[@rapid_]

_bruh_

[@AkumaDayo]

agsbsbdjgjk that's where my bf lives and I was dying--

[@505finds]

*Bruh moment*

[@crrobee3966]

*bristol moment*

[@official_cdk]

I’m literally shaking He forgot Hello-Return of the Hello

[@LeBornMajes]

Girl is soup I'm fork

[@seanpjc4419]

Well call me mr steal your girl Because Im spork

[@courtneycox7252]

I'm crying this is so deep

[@debbiedinnoo8992]

You can use forks for other stuff 💜

[@Lucifer-qt1yp]

1,000 subscribers without videos Call me mr mr steal your girl because I’m a snifk

[@parkthepenguin6344]

Jokes on you I’m a pair of chopsticks 👀

[@thenlnlkn]

Yo real quick for that last one: isn’t it 18 inches not 16?

[@scottwall8419]

That's all I cares to come comment on. Lol, yes, 18 inches, not 16

[@matilija]

Yeah, so that would be 9418 dollars then...roughly anyway.

[@wickedw0lf94]

You also gotta consider the fact the stacks will compress when you stand on them!!

[@matilija]

@@wickedw0lf94 9418 would be considering them at their actual thickness stacked, or in other words, fully compressed, decompressed they would actually stack slightly taller than 18 inches.

[@realistichypnoticblaze]

The way Damien said Bristol activated my flight or fight response.

[@lonelyrobin7576]

hat little change of voice at 4:10 was beautiful

[@innblind7417]

Emkay please help it's raining sideways in houston

[@xjunkxyrdxdog89]

OllieWilliams.jpg

[@RentADad]

Just lay on your side an it'll be straight homie 👍

[@darn9717]

What's the weather like out there Ollie?

[@A-Beat-up-86]

@@darn9717 It's gon' rain!

[@xjunkxyrdxdog89]

@Juan Cortez Muro you have no content, why would anyone sub to nothing?

[@PrinceBatsy]

Hearing Damien say 'Whayyy hooo' is my new aesthetic.

[@GamingWithMike-yv7xp]

me: yells Echo mountain, : *Repeatzs* me: Yells love u mountain: seen at 10am

[@trentf8607]

*Congratulations Damien on hitting 1 Mil!!* Love your videos!

[@tamerkobba7368]

9:49 its quite simple she married a man he had 2 children so she became a mother,and the husband became a trans woman

[@gachajames5481]

Or her wife had children or adopted and became her husband

[@64Modder]

I love your thinking, Tamer Kobba.

[@rltb_riley]

Or she adopted

[@mm-xk2zl]

no shes virgin she adopted two kids

[@2bad4hard48]

Yeah but then why did she say "love my husband" and not "love my wife"?

[@yukikaenthusiast5164]

I want one of God with the bio: "People's lives aren't the only thing I'm good at skrewing"

[@LiaLielamie]

Damien missing the whole 99 joke so painful

[@smolopossummaxwell9624]

I feel it. It hurts.

[@Nightsjourneyofdreams]

Juan Cortez Muro shh

[@senorsac7927]

He ain’t smort

[@chloewinnaa1515]

Timestamp??

[@synexiasaturnds727yearsago7]

Flip the likes

[@movementman9777]

Idk what’s harder, asking an awesome girl out or just finding a someone at all on tinder.

[@17hunter00]

The math for the last one isn't right. He said the height difference from 5'0 to 6'6 is 16 inches when it's actually 18 inches. I hope the girl called him out on that lol

[@AlluzHH]

oh my freaking god you killed me with the top15s/chills impression "Now number 5" in middle of the lyrics... Dude you are too good with that impression- ITS PERFECT

[@InventorZahran]

Annie Oakley: "In my day, all the guys thought I was too badass for them, but they don't know what they've been missin'! I sure know how to handle a long gun, if you're willing to unholster it for me..." (it's a historical reference)

[@caitlinobrien273]

Omg Damien you guys reached 1mil subs now!! I'm so proud of yall and how much you guys have grown as a channel, keep up the great work and thank you for making such good content

[@leafisvibing9973]

4:03 to like 30 seconds later, yeah that's from Brooklyn-9-9 and it's really funny, search up singing criminals and watch it

[@pixelhavoc4950]

4:03 made me re-look-up the Brooklyn 99 scene it was from. Thank you Damien

[@Lingx_Cats]

Why is the giraffe pickup line something that would low-key work on me?

[@0_exterminatingdaleks_011]

2:49 Bro- I can't stop rewatching it and laughing.

[@Eromatics]

Everyone else was editing their comments so I thought I should too. Yes, that's all I wanted to say. Thank you and good day sir.

[@spareaccount1707]

Congrats on 1 MILLION subs, I wish you the best of luck in your future yt carrer damien!

[@Mattoshie]

Congrats on 1 million Damien and his Editor

[@craftchild_9151]

"Are you clean, have you had your shots?" Literally the best first questions before s3x! 😂😂👍

[@sirius7267]

What scares me is the fact there’s over 24k views in only 34 minutes

[@ultimatepunster5850]

Are you Sirius!?

[@sirius7267]

Aeowyyn ..It depends, which Sirius? I go by Padfoot, Sirien, and more..

[@ultimatepunster5850]

@@sirius7267 I... Shit, I didn't think this through. Y'see, I have no idea who you are, I just saw a chance for a decently mediocre pun, and took it. I think I might've screwed the pooch on this one.

[@sirius7267]

@Aeowyyn you could go on with the pun, I don’t mind

[@ultimatepunster5850]

@@sirius7267 I apologize. Your higher intellect has zapped all remaining creativity I had managed to muster up for these brief few moments.

[@McBehrer]

0:03 "Sword" Damien demonstrating his knowledge of melee weapons. That's an axe, buddy

[@tristangamesgd5076]

9:27 Charleston is a city in Alabama unsurprisingly.

[@SRJones-wn7jz]

my favorite subreddit covered by my favorite youtuber on my birthday god bless you emkay

[@AbdulkareemGhulam]

Day 4 of asking EmKay to do r/EmKay

[@simontobonnorena8667]

4:10 she said literal chills and he made a chills impression, I’m dying

[@bonniesanders3340]

CONGRATS ON A MILLION SUBS!!! 💜💜💜

[@justthatnoodle]

yo congrats on 1mil ur grew fast

[@justthatnoodle]

4:04 they are prefect together man i love that song it plays endlessly in gym and my friends and i have been singing it all week

[@ShiroNyankotv]

Roses are red Violets are blu Emkay's laugh is a thing to live for.

[@thereprehensible435]

TFW you need premium Tinder to even get in contact with people that liked you back...

[@thereprehensible435]

TFW they're all bots.

[@jameslangford1304]

I was watching your videos than a new one popped up lol

[@surayashariff118]

CONGRATS ON 1 MILLION DAMIEN😃😃

[@raspyrigged3073]

Im so cool that i clicked on the notification as soon as it came up

[@SuperRave2000]

omg i can't stop watching your videos, i think i am addicted. lol those voices spot on.

[@jaqell007]

The one With hurricane Dorian made me mad and happy at the same time because I’m in the middle of hurricane Dorian

[@user-ft6xq9vn4m]

No one : the roommates chose your character

[@lubomirhutan3436]

Last time i was this early Area 51 planned on raiding us

[@lubomirhutan3436]

Yes thank you

[@hotpikachu]

1:58 i spat out my tea laughing at that one Edit : 2:26 i spat my 2nd cop of tea on that one and choked and died

[@apollynya]

There is still *one man* we can call.... *Danny Deviiiito~* 🎶

[@amiresmaeli6358]

“Are you a earthquake? Cuz i’m falling for you” Would be another god natural disaster pickup line

[@somedude1967]

Wait....... You're *NOT* supposed to have 2!!

[@moofyfn]

These r/tinder videos make me wish I was 18

[@TerraKing]

Can anyone agree that fat Yoshi is the most handsome

[@dum5247]

R/Tinder is a flex from guys that get fortunate, change my mind

[@YuubiTimberwolf]

My Relationship status would be: Happily married with my bed!

[@jessirocks-yd2eo]

xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

[@bergisgod]

aye congrats on 1mil Damien

[@sparkedskull5452]

4:11 did you literally need to do the chills voice

[@jungafla]

His laugh is legit the best thing i ever heard idk why but keep it up man

[@DanielCirella]

My high ass thought the thumbnail meant like he made dinner for his girl and then ate her out, but now I'm like aw poor dude

[@jessp8238]

Dan Cirella I’m wheezing 😂😤

[@cannibalisticfawn5895]

The unholy guttural sound that escaped my body at the casual Chills "Number 5" drop is absolutely unhealthy and I should probably be locked up. Thank you

[@xenomorphhuskyprime4816]

Plot twist the video is about s3x plot twist I’m in Area 51 come get me

[@Pastel_Knights]

*We must free you*

[@smol_chilli_pepper]

4:03 I was hoping that they were quoting B99! I'm got unreasonably happy there

[@thenerd-bot9847]

*Damien says sword* *She's clearly holding an axe* Curses...

[@theothripp2971]

0:38 imagine not having free health care

[@NickCamokidVisneski]

The guy who did the math at 12:13 or so was off by 2 inches. Same number of bills, but 18 inches is the height difference

[@helloperson9445]

Actually this depends on where you are and by the years the math will slightly change this resulting in this

[@NickCamokidVisneski]

@@helloperson9445 nope. His math was in distance and using paper American currency. The only error was in his typing in the message

[@helloperson9445]

@@NickCamokidVisneski also when this was he did the math in will have an affect trust me I used to be a bank teller for seven years now I'm still in a bank but in customer service

[@NickCamokidVisneski]

@@helloperson9445 his math is correct, he just gave the wrong number of inches. It comes to the same result. I'm guessing he was hoping for a reply letting him know he was 2 inches short.

[@helloperson9445]

Or depending on when there would be possible for it to be that it would change by 1.5 inches

[@mr.meme7612]

CONGRATS ON 1 MILLON SUBS DAMIEN

[@EthanRipp02]

5’0” to 6’6” is 18 inches not 16..

[@lightningthebeast]

And this is why the imperial system sucka

[@akiraartaccount1269]

Juan Cortez Muro stop commenting this 😤

[@beegpappa7900]

@Samuel A. Lim okay nazi

[@hydrochloricacid2146]

@Samuel A. Lim does the term "typo" ring a bell?

[@ShiroVA]

Stop with the chills voice, you're killin me

[@sunniedayz2450]

That last one had incorrect math. 5' + 16" is 6'4", not 6'6".

[@bobbyohaver2617]

That number 5 was such a good impression 😂😂😂

[@HoneyBearBroski]

Enjoyable vid. But thanks to borderlands I have seven seas of rye stuck in my head.

[@fancypants9558]

Hey I know you probably won’t read this but first off Love your content, it makes me laugh and gives me a bit of brightness in my day. you are definitely the best reddit reader. Numero 2 could you do a few more readings in your AMAZING ‘best trends’ voice it makes me laugh and I think reading a few r/tinder ones in that voice would be really funny. ( or any others ) Anyway see ya Keep it up man

[@btrain213]

Are you tropical depression Imelda, Because (come up with something because I can’t)

[@dantastic3552]

because you give me aids

[@finlandball1939]

Your raining on my wedding day!

[@dantastic3552]

Soviet Ball jesus christ

[@astrolouise6904]

lmao its funny bc I live in texas

[@solacies]

@Juan Cortez Muro stop, please stop.

[@goldexperiencerequiem776]

00:2 Damien: "We've got a big sword" Me: "That is an axe. Kratos, do you have anything to say?" Kratos: "Yes..... *BOI*

[@jacksoyyer9146]

Only i can understand u 🙁

[@fbi7948]

Im not first, im not last but when i see an EmKay Video i click fast Edit: can i marry a video?

[@eatyourcereal4747]

@Spike he has gone rogue and is on our side

[@frickman8065]

Rose's are red Violets are blue can you stop writing unoriginal comments you poo

[@gavinriley5232]

I love how you put "edit" in your original comment instead of actually editing it.

[@frickman8065]

@@gavinriley5232 I think he decided to add that when he was writing the comment.

[@fbi7948]

Gavin Riley thats the joke XD

[@xsnipes2902]

EmKay sounds like he actually wants to do his job when he makes his videos. I like that

[@connorbellwood8300]

Oh. Just realized you have a million subs. Congrats man! Why don't you just, take the day off? You upload like 3 videos a day.

[@frickman8065]

*everyone disliked that*

[@jorduptonogood9310]

I think he just goes through a few diff subs a day an then his editors make it into however many videos

[@aimbreak1461]

Every time I’m watching those videos I’m laughing my ass off to cry afterwards cause I’m lonely 😂😭

[@Death_Gremlin]

1:49 congratulations scp 3199, I am proud of you - w - :claps:

[@lemnbee9051]

4:03 Brookline 99 reference👌 This set off many alarms in my body, alarms that Activate the fangirl side of my brain

[@ollies1st446]

Pasta Kat I literally fell of my bed and started screaming with joy! 😂

[@arcadacameron381]

they messed up the math...it would have to be 18 inches 😩

[@lordabaddon8683]

Congrats on 1 mil

[@GeminiS...]

So no one's pointed this out yet. 5'0 - 6'6 is actually 18 inches. $8,372 is the correct amount but wrong heights.

[@TheDendran]

0:32 >has horrible jackscepticeye flashbacks No! Not the clap!