How to Overcome the Fear of Being Cheated On

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

Are you ready to silence your intrusive thoughts and feel secure, validated and CONFIDENT in your relationship? I can help you get there. Schedule your Free Strategy Call with me today: calendly.com/rachaelsloan/strategy

[@molliegoodacre9517]

It’s not allowing me on the page I would love a free call with this please.

[@bapattack5706]

While I am scared of this happening. I'm more scared of this happening and I won't even know until 2, 5, or even 10 years down the line, knowing I wasted that time thinking this person was faithful and wasn't. Being fooled that I had this image of this person in my head and only to find out that they never existed. They betrayed me and got away with it. That TRULY terrifies me.

[@bapattack5706]

*Update* This is EXACTLY what happened. This video is Bulls**t. Don't trust anyone. Lock down your heart and feelings tighter than Fort Knox.

[@EekZombies]

That’s what I’m going thru now.

[@shadowsageartist7064]

Me too

[@IMLEGEND1876]

exactly!! this is where my anxiety lies.

[@ashley_brown6106]

EXACTLY. I have a fear of getting cheated on, but I have a bigger fear of it happening and me never finding out. I've had this fear ever since I found out my grandfather cheated on my grandmother. To this day, she doesn't know. I know that because I asked her what she'd do if she ever found out grandpa cheated, and she said she has no idea but she really doesn't think he ever did it because he was such a great husband. I could never tell her because it would kill her. They're 90 years old after all, it's pointless. He cheated multiple times and got away with it. He was a great husband to her and loved her, and to this day he helps her every day after ger surgery. But he cheated at some point and had an affair with another woman. Since the day I found out, I have been living in total anxiety of it happening to me.😢😢😢

[@OppaiSuki]

I’ve been in a relationship for almost 3 years now, and this video describes exactly what I feel. We started off together, but eventually turned into a long distance relationship, which has only made my doubts worse and my anxiety worse. I know logically that she is loyal and won’t cheat, but these are intrusive thoughts that I have no control over. It’s also really hard to have security when we are separated across the country too. Thank you for this video. It’s really opened up my mind about why I have these thoughts in the first place.

[@GlobalResonanceDance]

@1:10 That's the problem - how do I know I haven't driven him away into the arms of someone else? Especially when there are women he interacts with who are lovey dovey towards him with their words and eyes... and I used to be one of those "just friends".

[@P3.14i]

It's not always about lack of self esteem of ours. I have gone through infidelity with absolutely no reason I could come up with, just because partners wanted all the fun in the world or needed affirmation about their own masculinity by approaching as many females as possible, while keeping the comforting relationship on the side. The same thing could happen with not getting enough affection from caretakers in childhood, which doesn't have to do with the infant or child's self esteem but the lack of responsibility from the caretakers. These eventually leave you perplexed and suspicious of everyone, since anything could happen unexpectedly and there is no pattern by which to expect the shock.

[@richardbetz5531]

Under viewed video. This is a very accurate depiction of how my mind acts on a frequent basis. I just need to learn to live in the moment and appreciate what I have in front of me.

[@jazcardenas]

This video has changed my life and improved my love life with the man of my dreams. I wrote these steps down in my journal and I am forever grateful for your help. Thank you so much!

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

That’s wonderful!! Thank you for sharing!

[@jaredw5059]

I was made to feel insecure and paranoid, due to my behaviour and my last relationship trauma. Turns out she had her Hinge profile active the whole time, I saw her after we broke up. Same profile, same pics and texts. When you know you know so listen to your gut.

[@memeswereablessingfromthel3942]

I mean she could have just re-activated her Hinge and used the same pictures. My ex found my Tinder profile after we broke up and thought that I was using Tinder whilst we were together because I “had a photo from when were together” posted on it. Of course I’m not blaming her, most people act irrationally even after emotional situations. Don’t you think that could be possible in your situation as well?

[@mbsimmer]

I appreciate you making this video. But when you said that not getting a handle on these fears could “possibly drive your person into the arms of another” - that’s extremely harmful for this audience. That just puts them on edge immediately. (Like myself haha)

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

Thank you for bringing that to my attention. You are so right. Not only is that a trigger for a lot of people, it is also a very inaccurate statement that I should never have said. You are not responsible for your partner's emotions or their choices, so you actually can't drive them into the arms of another. I appreciate your comment, and I'm going to review this video to either edit it or possibly re-film it entirely. Thank you.

[@Kipode]

It’s true though

[@freeandcriticalthinker4431]

I agree with her, driving the partner away is true (obviously not 100% but to some degree). I wouldn’t retract that statement, maybe you could just insert “you could easily exert SOME force onto your partner but certainly not 100percent” but that’s about it., my 2 cents.

[@doobiemcfearson4646]

@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoachYou’re absolutely wonderful for being able to recognize that mistake and make the necessary adjustments. God bless you

[@ZenGardenFirefly]

I disagree. You said something that realistically could happen. Even if this statement triggers people so what. We’re already triggered anyway lol. It needs to be said. I agree that we are not in control of our partners actions, but we are in control of ours and whether we like it or not our actions does effect others. Whatever happens happens. All we can do is try to be the best partner we can be. If we do that and they still cheat they didn’t deserve us anyway. It’s their loss and it’s not the end of the world. And like u said. In a lot of cases we’re worrying about something that might not ever even happen

[@imogensmuts8624]

My partner is the most kind man I’ve ever met, we moved in together a few months ago and he’s never cheated on anyone before. However with me I’ve always been loyal and giving in my relationships but experienced a lot of things from my past relationships like neglect, physical and verbal abuse, controlling behaviour and been cheated on… I know deep down I trust my partner but my anxiety of being cheated on again and going through all that pain again puts me on edge every day. I’ve tried so hard to overcome this fear, this insecurity but I feel as if I’m getting no where… sometimes it does badly effect how I act which brings me down a lot because the thought of him viewing me like that. Please, if you have any advice anyone, I am in desperate need as I’m thinking of possibly going to a therapist about this worsting feeling.. :( thank you!

[@DavisMay74]

Go, and it’s not your fault you have those fears

[@stepht3825]

Hard to catch a cheater. You look for their lies. And eventually you will catch them in one

[@dorisr.2649]

It's so sad. I just lost my partner because of his fear and trying to learn about it. I loved him and had no reason to cheat, but he would not believe me, just found proof in all kind of things that I'm cheating until I couldn't handle it anymore to be seen like that from the person I love. It can destroy so much, it can destroy a good relationship. Thank you for this video - I hope it helps many people to overcome their fear and be able to have a happy loving relationship!

[@JBthree24]

You could have it all with someone…security, financially stable, healthy home life, good in-laws, good sex life; balance…refrigerator full, upcoming vacations….you could have it all. Unfortunately, that doesn’t exempt either from cheating or being cheated on.

[@GlobalResonanceDance]

That's so terribly sad. It's how I feel, trying to be everything my partner could ever want or need!

[@petersmithyy4556]

This is why you should not put your faith in people. Put your faith in God. He's the only one that will never let you down. Most people have either one or the other though. I know many divorced women that told me that they had a financially stable husband, but he was not there emotionally at all.. or it's the other way around. But yeah, success in life doesn't guarantee a happy successful marriage. Those sorts of things are so hard to come by these days. People just don't seem satisfied anymore with just one person, they feel they have to play the field and unfortunately society isn't as strict as it used to be on cheaters.

[@IMLEGEND1876]

incredible video with an actual action plan!

[@fortheloveofteaching9514]

How do you know the difference between intuition and anxiety?

[@rainbrown7674]

Anxiety comes and goes and gets worse during triggering moments intuition is constant

[@fortheloveofteaching9514]

@@rainbrown7674 this is a great explanation to help differentiate. Thank you.

[@memeswereablessingfromthel3942]

I’d say Intuition is more of a sense of “knowing”, where emotions don’t necessarily have to be involved, and won’t change even if the emotions go away/transform.

[@velvetduchess]

Thank you for this. Straight to the point and easy to understand.

[@bhargavbammidi6597]

Thank you so much ma'am. I am going through same phase in my life😭 very hard to get fear of cheated even if we love them very loyal. My girlfriend makes me uncomfortable even she know that i didn't like to hide her mobile and be very close with her office collegues and with her ex boyfriend. Thank you so much madam. I realized now for what reason i am suffering from. (fear of cheating). I think on this topic no video in youtube. Thanks from 🇮🇳India

[@agenth2155]

My experience, if I feel they are cheating,.. they are. Listen to your intuition.

[@aidadiack41]

this brought me so much peace thank you!

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

You're welcome!! I'm so glad to hear that. Thank you for watching!

[@oscarmeza113]

My insecurity lies in our age gap. My gf is at her prime beauty, and my most handsome days are behind me. I’ve never been in an age gap relationship before, so all these insecurities are new to me She’s 26 and im 40. Im so insecure and I hate it. I’m guilty of all the things you’ve listed

[@Bawks_FEET]

I noticed this does not happen with every girl, only the ones who will mention all of their guy friends, and how they hang out with guys, and every guy stares at her and talks to her type stuff, is that more normal to suddenly feel this way in this scenario? Either way I will still work on myself and my own issues, great video 👍

[@maddyG7414]

To be honest, I have done this before as an immature young girl. My dad cheated on my mum and it broke me at that time, so I did those things as a way to feel like I was protected if my partner cheated. I would say majority of the time, that comes from insecurity.

[@soundjunkiea22]

Rachel you are a one in a million. Love your videos. Even when the truth hurts!!!

[@alhu1113]

Rachael, I can't thank you enough for making this video! Thank you so much

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

You are so welcome! Thank you for watching.

[@kadenbarbour3373]

My gf cheated in her past relationships quite a lot and was a very big flirt and used to go out getting drunk and would just be very flirty with a lot of blokes who she works with and who she goes out and gets drunk with and that’s who she also cheated on her ex with so everytime she goes on a work night out i proper freak out and kick off knowing she will get drunk and be with those blokes who she was very flirty with and cheat on her ex with, she constantly reassures ne that past is past and that’s her past and not who she is now because she doesn’t want to be but she does like a drink and to get drunk etc but she’s always saying she won’t flirt etc but I don’t even know! Anyone got advice ??

[@MidngihtVisitor]

Yea i got some advice...don't fuck with hoes. Problem solved

[@woffee_8]

Do your research at least a few times and keep it to yourself, do it until you feel confident, watch your own back, but also give all your love and don't take your person for granted ❤

[@ShaneGonzales-p3e]

I'm going thru with this now I feel like My girlfriend is out there cheating but I don't got proof but I don't want to push her away if she isn't but I am over thinking of it to much

[@confessionsofalifecraver3349]

That's an amazing video. Thank you so much. Please work on your confidence in front of the camera, because you can and you are amazing. ❤

[@Nickie_421]

My insecurities I should start there I literally live with a broken heart on a daily basis this is horrible

[@colerodabaugh3507]

Ok but my gf and I live 40 miles apart, she constantly says she won’t cheat but I just feel like she will because of the distance and when she hangs out with her friends I get insecure. How do I change that

[@mejuuhh]

That's exactly what I've been struggling with

[@colerodabaugh3507]

@@mejuuhh bro listen… we broke up bout 10 months ago bc she did exactly what I thought she would do but looking back. I’m glad she did. Now I’m not in a toxic relationship and I’m free

[@murremannanting7092]

​@@colerodabaugh3507how did you found out?

[@MeLovePizza4717]

@@colerodabaugh3507I'm glad you're out of that terrible relationship. You'll find a better one, I know it. 🙌🏽

[@nataliemarble]

idk if this will help but i was in a long distance relationship for 2 years and went out with my friends but never once cheated. there are people who will stay loyal

[@DaniSantill22]

Wow, thank you for your perspective 🤍

[@ricob6844]

I needed that. Thank you

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

You're welcome. I'm really glad it helped.

[@p00p_69]

thank you, this made me tear up. i’ve been struggling with this in my own 2 year relationship. and my so doesn’t deserve it.

[@priyankakatoch3156]

Is everything going well??

[@memeswereablessingfromthel3942]

Hi! I’m diagnosed with a dissociative subtype of PTSD (not being treated rn) and was wondering if these thoughts would be related to that?

[@melhlopez]

Nice one thanks Rachael

[@deslyjuarez9338]

thank you this helps!

[@ForeverFreeCome_ReadWithMe]

Thank you.

[@Brandon-tz5pn]

I literally have nightmares about it

[@Fatuzci]

What does it mean to understand "how you show up" in your relationship?

[@seaotter72]

I've cracked the code on getting cheated on!Don't ever get into a relationship ever, it's working for me for the last 10 years after being married for 22 years and being cheated on for at least 10 years that she admitted to anyways 😊now I sleep better than ever staying single in a broken cheating world!

[@laguera5383]

I’m glad you sleep better, but man, my heart hurts knowing they did that to you. This world is so messed up

[@dale116dot7]

I know my partner is not cheating. Because it is easy when you intentionally do not have a partner. It is far easier to not have a relationship, the hurt of being alone is lower than the pain of a broken relationship.

[@phoebelewis8189]

Thank you for this video I went to a tarot card reader and they told me that my fiance was cheating on me and full blown et cetera use in full blown etc just things that don't make sense never my life thought he would even thought about it until his parents were in the hospital and he was acting different because of stress and so then I started 2nd guessing it I went through his phone he was texting hoe worker and they were asking how he was doing and The coworker was a little more extra than I would like so I created a scenario and I have been hurting myself ever since and we get married in 25 days he tells me he only wants me he would not cheat on me hes told me that at his job at home I know it loves me and even tells me he doesn't want anybody else but me Why do I have these intrusive thoughts

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

Hi Phoebe, It's normal to have these kinds of thoughts. They stem from fears and insecurities, and likely from experiences you had as a child or young adult. When we're young we learn ways to protect or defend ourselves, and one of those ways can be to become hypervigilant so we spot a problem quickly and can't be hurt. Unfortunately our defense mechanisms can become rigid and create problems in our relationships, like you're experiencing. You're already taking the first step to resolve those thoughts - noticing that you're "creating a scenario" and "hurting yourself". Keep bringing awareness to those thoughts and the stories your brain wants to create. The more you are aware of them, and aware that they are stories, the less powerful they will be.

[@ServingGoddessRen]

if i drive them away and they go to someone else thats just shit*ty

[@laurenmorgan9946]

I thought I had no fear anymore of being cheated on. My husband was behaving well for eight straight months and he wasn't working at the time so we was always together I never had to wonder if he had the chance to cheat bc he didn't. Now he went to a new job has been there just two weeks and is back to preferring porn over me and admitted he was alone with girl we know for thirty minutes at her house today without her man there. He told me this. I wonder what changed since he's gone back to working and why is this behavior continuing. I didn't see this coming and was treating him well and comfortable with him. Now he's distant, wants porn again over me and acting cocky since back at work. This snuck up on me I never thought I'd feel this betrayal again. Why?! Who?! When?! How?! Answer my questions somebody. Thanks

[@dragorn3212]

Lets be honest: you are probably more attracted and cooperative to your husband now that the possibility of him cheating is there. Thats part of the issue: In order for men to keep their own partners in line and loyal they absolutely must have other options. If hes in a position of authority over her and she knows he's married, her chances of trying to sleep with him go way up. And his chances of reciprocating depend on her looks and his level of empathy. Why does no one here realize they can look through their partners phone?

[@petersmithyy4556]

​@dragorn3212this is so damn true! People want what they can't have, that's just a human problem.

[@mercyfulfate666]

​​@@dragorn3212you are a cause of the problem here. The world is not like you are thinking, just saying. And btw, women cheat for revenge, so if you act suspicious, she can find another person just to give back at you, so stop this narcissistic thought.

[@Cuuhleerity]

What if I wasn't really much insecure with my body then, like I am flat chested and although it has been a BIT of an insecurity, I used to not mind it that much. That insecurity just got big after I saw him saving pictures of anime characters with big boobs and then eventually I also saw him saving pictures of a woman he used to contact with, a picture of a woman showing off her boobs.

[@clairegernetzky9734]

My partner eyes other woman right in front of me....which has triggered this as I feel like he's looking for someone better all the time. All my past people cheated on me. Should I worrie with this action from him

[@dljad5582]

Samd here. Yes ..should worry for their action. May be he has cheating history from his past.

[@mercyfulfate666]

Run. That's straight disrespectful, and is indeed a type of cheating.

[@catherinedavis9278]

Can you help me

[@DreOnTheGrind]

what if it happened in reality

[@tanya7550]

If your gut tells you do not listen to this video but yourself Thank me later .

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

Thank you for sharing your perspective! I understand how strong that inner voice can be during such a difficult time. If you're struggling with navigating your emotions or overcoming fear, Rachael offers a free Masterclass that may be really helpful. It teaches the same emotional regulation strategy that she uses with her clients to help calm overwhelming emotions and move forward with clarity. You can get the Masterclass here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register Rachael’s BBD Team

[@UNREAL8745]

The word “yet” in the frame of “They haven’t cheated on you YET” can be a bit disturbing for people watching. For me, everytime l heard it, I felt like I was being stabbed in the heart and it shot up my own anxiety😬 No hate, I’m just bringing further attention to what words should be used when dealing with anxiety in this context. Very helpful video otherwise😅

[@paranoidwaffles880]

I agree, the wording in this video was quite triggering at many points…

[@crissparts4131]

I want you as my therapist

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

Thank you for your comment! I understand that you’re looking for personal support. Rachael’s coaching program, Better Beyond Divorce, is a great way to work with her directly. The best next step is to watch Rachael’s free Masterclass. It provides all the details about her program and also includes a special discount for enrolling. You can get the Masterclass here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register Alternatively, you can reach out to Rachael directly via email at: [e-mail] Rachael’s BBD Team

[@Cloudy_To_Often]

Think of 3 reason why you think they’re cheating first.

[@benjaminott6498]

While I respect relationships, they still are cringe af

[@susanpidgeon9683]

I can't hardly hear her

[@jjtom9199]

im 52 and never had a woman been faithfull to me.

[@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach]

Hi JJ, I'm really sorry to hear that. It sounds like you've been caught in cycles of negative relationship patterns. Have you done any research on attachment styles? Dr. Susan Johnson pioneered the field, which studies human bonding and love. What she found is that most of us seek out, subconsciously, partners who love us in familar ways. Unfortunately, if we were raised by parents who weren't emotionally available or emotionally stable, that means that we are likely to be attracted to partners who can't meet our emotional needs as well. It might be something interesting for you to explore. If you can identify and heal some of your own attachment wounds, you might find yourself more attracted to women who are in a mental and emotional state where they are more stable and more capable of reciprocating in a faithful relationship.

[@Prachi_Chaudhry]

You deserve more audience ! You're so good at what you're doing. And, thankyou for this video 🤍

[@1111hypnosis]

Awesome work!

[@beccacivitella6741]

thank you so much for this video.