Who should pay on a date? Money, dating & dealbreakers with Matthew Hussey

[@ramitsethi]

Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.

[@yestothis]

well said

[@vulpixelful]

When it comes to women who make more money, one quote, from a guy actually, comes to mind: "Men don't have to compete with every man she's ever had, but with no man at all." Some men really believe that their money is the most they can ever bring to the relationship, so fear not being needed. As a woman, I didn't even start dating until I could take care of myself financially, so no one could feel like they could lead me around by their wallet.

[@lillabenak8802]

As a woman this is what I did with my husband (12 years ago): He initiated the first date. He picked the place and the activity. So he was well aware of the price range and the activity that HE would be comfortable with. I let him pay all, but made sure not to order over the top things, kept is casual. I think I let him pay for the first 3 dates entirely. BUT! In the meantime, I made sure to contribute a little here and there. Made some snacks, brought fruit when I met his friends the first time (very very casual, backyard think in the afternoon). I think showing up empty handed is rude anyway. Also, I had the long game in mind. I was looking for a partner. I was looking for someone to share my life with, to play video games with, to stay up late with when the child is puking at 4 am. I wanted to share my life with him, so I shared the responsibilities with him too from the start. On the other hand, I (ME, not every woman) needed to feel that he can provide for me and the future family, so I let him spoil me sometimes, but never forgot to contribute. He takes you hotel for a weekend? It must feel wonderful for him to be able to do that. But don't forget a massage oil, or to look up a place to go to in that city. Sometimes it is not about the money being equally distributed that they want, it is to be appreciated. And also, you can organized a date withing your budget. Lasertag, movies, gokart... etc.

[@davidmorrison7323]

Really well said. Glad it worked out for you guys. I was able to plan the first date with my wife for free and she stuck around (theater and ice cream). There’s no one perfect formula but showing you care and you want to pitch in matters.

[@drmahidhar1876]

I’m sure you got a great marriage unlike most of the ultra feminist commenters here. You’re pretty much one of the few commenters saying what most men actually look for or want in a woman. Most of the female commenters here cannot see that they are their own worst enemy- zilch in the self awareness and accountability departments

[@gaurispratt]

While many men look to have women contribute equally to all expenses, not too many of these men contribute equally to running the home and all that needs to be done around a managing things for the kids. It’s very hard on women who have to manage homes, kids and contribute financially without men contributing equally. It’s not so clear cut.

[@Rs-rq9fd]

💯💯💯not to mention the gender pay gap

[@petermulinzi1288]

@@Rs-rq9fd that's complete bs

[@khaleesiy.7886]

Thank you for this. It’s true. If the relationship goes long term the woman does more work. Sorry I’m not paying in the beginning there is plenty time to be drained and worn out. I’m having fun in the beginning.

[@petermulinzi1288]

@@khaleesiy.7886 and if it doesn't go long term which happens more often, do u refund the man's resources that he's wasted on u?? i think this is just a way of masquerading and repackaging selfishness by just giving excuses which people never run out off ,in the end the result is the same. actually do u ever consider that doing nothing makes ur partner also not want to do anything and u find urself in that cycle where they used to do more and now u're the one doing more coz maybe they're burned out coz of lack of reciprocation? treat people how u want to be treated for fuck's sake, that's not too much to ask of y'all

[@tigerbear3038]

@@khaleesiy.7886it’s also extreme sexist to assume a man won’t contribute as much to the housework. If you want a man to contribute just as much to the housework, that’s a conversation you need to have with him. But to expect all men to not do as much housework and to penalize them by making them pay for the majority of the dates is sexist, extremely insulting, and unfair

[@jennifercrosdale5391]

When I was dating after my divorce, I brought up the money topic pretty early on in dating. If we've been on 4-5 dates and getting positive signals with each other, why NOT bring this up if it's important to you? It's the same as talking about having kids. Why waste your time and HIS time with continuing to build a relationship when you're not on the same page with this very big deal breaker for people? Dating websites are really good about filtering out people you don't have anything in common with. I also advocate for talking face to face or over the phone instead of emails or texting. After a week of emails, people really need to meet in person or talk on the phone. Sarcasm and jokes aren't translated well in typing. My husband picked the restaurant and paid for the first dinner date. The next date we went hiking and I brought lunch for us. Third date, I made him dinner at my place. My personal philosophy is "whomever does the inviting, does the paying". I follow this with friends as well.

[@jessicalfarrell]

On my first date with my husband I walked in, introduced myself and said: "So we're splitting the bill because I'm not holding back. I'm having the steak AND fancy cocktails!" And he just goes "Okay, I think I'll have steak as well!" I loved that he just rolled with it

[@ramitsethi]

Awesome

[@mclhck674]

Wwwhat a woman! Congrats :D

[@keishanewton6619]

I love this energy because it’s what I would do as well.

[@controlledchaos7432]

Late to the party, but this might be the best bro content on KZbin I've ever seen. The dynamism, charity, and respect these two have for each other is something else.

[@SarahMele]

47:06 THIIISSS! Once I TRULY felt this (and wasn’t just trying to act as if I felt this way) in dating, everything changed. The idea that I don’t *need* to be with this person and will be perfectly fine if it goes south is the most powerful shift I’ve made and has made the most immense difference.

[@nelly99100]

Thank you Ramit. This was an amazing powerful and insightful conversation. Very natural too. I realised I was already following the Tim Ferris advice. Thank you both.....

[@Ridnarhtim]

I remember meeting Matthew a long time ago, when he was coaching men. I think that was 17 or 18 years ago, but I still remember liking him after all these years.

[@ramitsethi]

He is awesome

[@AmandaJYoungs]

What an interesting man Matthew Hussey is! I agree with so much of what he says, too. Especially about always having a plan B. Once I only had a plan A and then it didn't work out. I was out of action for YEARS trying to work my way through it and I lost more than plan A as a result. I'm older now, a lot older, but I won't ever be caught without a plan B again. And also I'm way more versatile than I used to be, which helps!

[@cooledcannon]

I am a guy who can easily emotionally connect. It is hard for me to relate to guys who cannot. I am very open about my feelings and I more or less know like 90%+ of my feelings. I guess this awareness of my feelings is what makes me think/feel I have huge mood swings while other guys tend to be blind to this. I love the idea of holding hands with or hugging guys. Or otherwise having an emotional connection. (Obviously non-sexually) I attach very strongly to people in general. I often talk to/open up about my struggles to literally anyone remotely close to me.

[@evincedintentions6821]

The banter between you guys is divine. To die for!

[@cemt1611]

I love the energy and the interaction of both, the jokes and how you tease each other, espectacular! Loved the question how to connect to yourself, when can you know If it feels right, and cry. Loved it! more of these from man please so you can be heard and connect with your emotions.

[@ramitsethi]

1:16:26 I love Matthew’s “emotional buttons” concept, it’s very aligned with envisioning your Rich Life. What’s a positive “emotional button” you have for a goal you want to hit?

[@drmahidhar1876]

“Emotional buttons” - Jesus H Christ - no wonder you are triggered by Tate (even though he actually agreed with you on renting )

[@jojos430]

Great interview! A point of feedback - there were couple of times when Mathew was going to say something really important and Ramit interrupted him and the conversation went side ways - e.g. the contempt for that quality in your partner and what was behind it .... and Ramit completely moved the conversation sideways. I was really interested in hearing what MH was going to say on that point.

[@starrbowie8649]

Ramit contributes a lot in ideas and seems very well-intentioned and enthusiastict, but he seems to need to be validated externally. He asserts himself almost impulsively and often for affect rather than connection, and he isn't as thoughtful in his observations as he could be if he listened better and thereby really conversed (root "con"=together) with MH. The dirty words as he uses them seem forced in the way insecure teenagers rely on them.

[@sharlennem.perezvillamil2153]

Thanks for acknowledging the different perspective when it's a woman who's asking certain things 🙌

[@dorisrojas8706]

Thank you Remit for introducing Mathew! Very good podcast. I really enjoyed listening!

[@TelosBudo]

Holy cow, this is probably the most enlightening podcast about relationships ever! Also, love the casual Buddhist 3rd/4th Noble Truth at the top of the podcast; the cessation of all suffering is undoing the false belief of an inherently existing self. Just some casual advice 😀.

[@scarletlady3727]

I came for the double eye candy and stayed for the advice 😍

[@donnaallgaier-lamberti3933]

I met my now husband at line dancing (we did not drive there together but drove ourselves to and from so I did not consider this part of our dating history (we were checking each other out.) We did this for three months as well as took bike rides (free) and talked before we began to "actually" began to formally "date." When I invited him to go to a pre-planned dinner out with my two brothers. Since I invited him, I paid.

[@lalainenash2006]

I’m married to a British guy and I can attest that I learned to be more diplomatic due to my husband.

[@Keroppikat]

Many new gems for my journal from this talk. Very worth a listen or 3!! ❤

[@lolitanolita9107]

I think it really depends on the person... How financially secured or wealthy the man is, also, some men refuse and are adamant about paying, if you even try to pay on a 3rd or 4th date or something, men can be chivalrous and old school that way... I think what is important is how generous both sides are, men and women. There are ways to give back too for women... Small gifts or a nice dinner at home, once you know the person better... I do not like cheap men(or cheap people in general). But I also know that men get taken advantage of, as I have seen women go on dates with men they dont care for, just to get a free dinner. I dont care how broke someone is, I find this practice to be repulsive.

[@tspencer661]

I dated a man who insisted on paying. He wasn’t a high earner. He was young. He was honest with me and told me that he didn’t have money to “wine and dine” me. I had already researched inexpensive date night activities. I gave him a long list of $20 and under date night activities. Thank you Pinterest. This led to many inexpensive dates. There’s nothing wrong with a man who insists on paying for dates. Issues arise when a man tries to spend more money than he has. Is he paying for his dates with cash or on a credit card that he doesn’t pay off every month? If a man doesn’t have a ton of money, he needs to get creative. Picnic in the park. Paint night at home. Trivia night at a local bar. Women should always be pleasant and say thank you for a wonderful time. Yes, women should reciprocate after a man has taken her out a few times. Make him dinner. Bake him cookies. Bake him cupcakes. Get him a Starbucks when you get yourself one. IMO, a first date should be inexpensive and comfortable. Meet for coffee, breakfast, or brunch. It’s inexpensive and shouldn’t stress anyone out. I think inexpensive first dates weed out the women who aren’t interested in getting to know a man.

[@PriyaDiva23]

I’m always start to pay at the first dating or even with friends I don’t know why, but later i got their heart and later they pay me back extra than i did. Think about love❤️

[@nickihoffman2734]

Hahhaa excellent convo. My fave part was right around 19 mins when he said "I'm arriving" so funny. Lol love watching the banter.

[@kat_ie_9984]

I only split the bill if I don't want to see the person again or if the other person asks to otherwise take it in turns and payer chooses where so it's within their budget. As someone who has been in a relationship for 12 years, we have a date night line in our budget and combine finances so it doesn't have any effect on us individually. Same with vacations we have a yearly budget and sometimes we go on one holiday other times more depends where we pick together but generally take it in turns to pick.

[@kingmo565]

I highly doubt he'd want to see you again.

[@kat_ie_9984]

@@kingmo565 sure I've been in an equal relationship for 12 years and he wouldn't want to see me again. Well done 😂

[@nicoleyoshihara4011]

Love hearing about people's lives and stories. God Bless everyone!🙏❤ I believe that the man should pay for the date 💯❤ One good piece of advice is pay off debt asap and then you can start clean. It will take some sacrificing but it'll feel like a weight off your shoulders once you pay it off ^_^

[@CamilaSaurus]

This was great. I both learned and laughed along.

[@ramitsethi]

Thank you for watching! Glad you enjoyed it

[@ctndiaye1]

Re: trips, there's money and also there's ability to take time off from work. I'd say, I'd love to but my money's not right at the moment or I can't get the time off from work. I'd be up for it next year but if you'd rather go sooner, I understand.

[@sam0435]

1:50:00... like I always said the reason behind the debt is just important as debt. And that person has a plan to pay it off... Work ethic to pay it down that's fine. like student loans vs credit card debt.

[@crissydv1]

Remit wheezing at the British sex meme was instant serotonin for me 😂😂

[@MARIARODRIGUEZ-xb5cb]

Omg I’m cracking up with ramit when Matthew was reading the phone lmaooo😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@shadowchen2601]

very cute and warm podcast between two good friends~

[@nmenonm]

Ramit, you are such a numbers and processes guy that you cannot stand BS & warm/fuzzy stuff; Hussey is such an intuitive and instinctive person, love the complimentary combo :) Seems like you learn from each other a lot ..

[@cathycoryell2351]

Parenting, making a plan, for fun things, even a small plan, creates opportunity for memories and growth experiences for kids. Interactions like the library, as a toddler, or browsing the 1x week farmers market, and gradually teach them appropriate interaction in society. Expand those experiences and skills. Go repeatedly all summer. Then change it up next year to different experiences. Then, when 5th or 8th grade, they safely know how to conduct themselves on a school trip to a museum, or hotel, with more sensitive environment. Career steps, build up like that too. When its not "the big bang" expectations, a career builds over time. You get there, in realistic steps. Around 60 minutes, loved the example given that just plan 2 weeks off the work clock, and take steps to make that possible. That foundation is built, after that. Growing kids and preparing them for social interactions, is more similar to career building than people recognize. So many adults are relearning things, as they teach / raise their kids. They will eventually meet nice people, learn from those nice people, and become a nice person.

[@Mr_NB628]

I really like intelligent woman and if they know about money, oh my God five stars

[@maggielong3618]

I went out with a wealthy guy for five years! It is hard to “ downsize” being with a guy who might be different in his perceptions! I am not high maintenance,as a woman,but he liked me so much ,because I did not expect anything from him! He really appreciated my idea of life and made my life better. It is hard now though to compare to other guys, that I date!

[@ekaterinavoitiuk5976]

Or he invites you to the trip and you can’t afford it, and he is like: «ok, no worries, I’m going alone»😅

[@drmahidhar1876]

Sounds like a smart guy in this day and age

[@catalinanoes2154]

As a Woman Engineer I understand the "intimidation" :/ i don't even like to mention it because i get the "oh you must be smart" or "oh you must make lots of money"

[@adrianatristany6287]

having a child is not buying a pair of shoes. Maybe you should think about the child who will grow up without a father or mother

[@catalinanoes2154]

@@adrianatristany6287 🤔

[@suzanneemerson9787]

@@adrianatristany6287 ⁉️

[@drmahidhar1876]

“Intimidation” - propaganda of the highest order. Maybe for men worn weak credentials What? The highly qualified men you really want don’t want you back ?

[@drmahidhar1876]

Is it “intimidation”. Or is it more that the type of men you think you deserve aren’t interested in what you’re selling ? The ones that ask questions like “oh you got a lot of money” smart etc blah blah blah probably don’t have money themselves in many cases Or maybe they see you and say - I don’t want a wife with whom I am going to be in competition with all the time and JUST MAYBE they might want to come home to peace and quiet, not someone competing with them. As a woman makes a lot of money - finding guys that make more gets harder. And it just may be that if they can afford for a woman to stay at home for a few years when the children are young - they might be more interested in that than someone(particularly a woman) who “leads with their degree” Women look for men like that for long term commitments. Men and women are quite frankly different in terms of what they prioritize in a committed relationship

[@nicoled5160]

I think it's a red flag and warning sign if i am expected to pay all the time. I plan to save and invest, and have no interest blowing a thousand dollars a month in eating out. If i date someone, I think it's healthy to have reciprocity.

[@jenlollygag6815]

As a woman who has left makeup on my fair share of men's white shirts, I can empathize with Matthew 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@drmahidhar1876]

What does that translate to in terms of body count ?

[@ramitsethi]

3:10 Who should pay for a date

[@SarahMele]

I want Ramit + Matt to go on Man Enough !!!!!!!!

[@theblushedcoffeebean1463]

Man Enough is an amazing podcast too! This conversation would be perfect for them to collab. Id love to hear Liz’s input on this 🤗

[@nmenonm]

Ramit, its because we Indians are taught so much to be achievement or financial accomplishment-oriented and still be humble at any cost however parents dont know how to teach us how to feel vulnerable ....we just have to practice it and keep your emo friends and family around :)

[@ramitsethi]

23:36 Imagine you were in this same situation: your partner wants to take a vacation you can’t afford. How would you respond?

[@cooledcannon]

Ask her to pay for it

[@Newday288]

Ask him to pay for it. I would pay for vacations he can’t afford too.

[@sabrinajolie2465]

I wouldn't ask him directly to pay but instead ask him who is paying for my half because I'm broke...or just paid blah blah then he if he wants you there will offer to cover your expenses...had this happen b4 but I declined. If he has the means to then this Really shows his character or how much he really wants u there with him

[@cathycoryell2351]

That's not a partner, in a close relationship. That's a "travel companion " with bedroom benefits. A true partnership, close relationship will be aligned in goals, and pay, when it's their goal to go together.

[@Rs-rq9fd]

If my boyfriend makes significantly more than me I would find it inconsiderate for him to not offer to cover my expenses

[@delicatevenusflytrap9091]

Im in for the bedtime stories- where do i find that podcast??

[@Trix897]

My theory? Whomever asks, pays. Doesn’t matter if it’s the first or tenth date. That way, gender roles are off the table.

[@caroldougherty928]

Iam fifty years married and never paid a cent on a date. My husband or the other gentlemen would have been so offended. I asked my husband now about that and he still says the man pays period.

[@franciscocv1995]

1 you are 50 and out of dating you are Married. 2. Things cost more and dont make the same 3 most pay for the bills and still expected to pay for the date

[@franciscocv1995]

No offense but you gotta look at what people are doing now. Its easier to do later when having a more stable well paying job but these days people get cut for no reason but the ceo wants more money

[@Galworld761]

I make more than my partner. That seems cruel. He is a secure man who will do household chores when I am busy and I am grateful.

[@Trix897]

It’s sad that we are from the same generation and you don’t get how dating works. Granted, I haven’t dated in a while, because I find more peace and happiness in being single, but when I did, my rule was whomever asks pays. It helps level the playing field and injects some needed equality into dating these days.

[@kwameopoku3576]

Great vid cheers👍🏿

[@lanlam2114]

No pay no date

[@barbaratozzano6364]

This was not even a question in my 20's. I still wouldn't date a man that didn't want to pay. But as the other commenter stated, I would contribute in other ways. Cooking meals. Bringing snacks, etc. Etc.

[@espressojoe]

1:56:50, Hahaha, so true. I almost stopped watching Ramit because we have very different political views, but then I thought to myself, 1. his political views don’t take away from the value his content brings, and 2. I assume his political views are with good intent. He seems like a really good, empathetic person so if he believes differently I don’t think it’s because he wants our nation to fail, I believe it’s because it’s something he truly believes

[@poolking25]

Who has a link for the viral clip that was mentioned? I'm trying to see the response

[@tspencer661]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/bWLSZJuna86Ghq8si=Ucyl_Efsgl3NBsja

[@marieke-2736]

Google matthew hussey who pays on date

[@sunnc]

16:00 this is true some ppl just like to be "intimidating".

[@marioherrerajr5293]

I wonder if she would still be with Matt if he would not make that much money!m 🤔🤔

[@danigo7126]

Yes! The 80/20 rule....

[@gerij]

I like it when men advocate for equality between men and women. The irony.

[@cathycoryell2351]

Notice, they never discussed laundry, housekeeping, meals, planning, cooking, budgeting, coordination of activities (kids or couples or family get together, etc). Financial equity seems to be assumed, when they asked about who pays for a date. There's so many Financial details that can be revealed very quickly in dating scenarios. They are saying they want emotional awareness, and connection with friends (bro) and partners. I did not really hear discussion on "equality", in home, workplace or relationship, or even balanced expectations. They sid not mention that some couples have negotiated responsibility assignments with partners. That keeps the peace...and divides the "tasks" of keeping things moving forward toward aligned goals.

[@Rs-rq9fd]

@@cathycoryell2351men always “conveniently forget” domestic labor because it’s invisible labor to them. Not to mention the gender wage gap. These topics are not done justice when so much context is missing

[@petermulinzi1288]

@@cathycoryell2351 ramit sethi talks about money that's basically his niche. u should have checked the channel' content before spewing bs

[@Beingnessing]

Being honest I wouldn't date a man who didn't pay for dinner.

[@gbaca07]

Depends on who makes the most money.

[@nmenonm]

Hussey, get the jujitsu trainer to come home at this stage of your life if its so important for us so there's no way to get out of it, come on, I can hear Ramit saying may be ? I used to hate and cuss my personal trainer and he used to laugh however I thanked him profusely when he moved away to another city ..

[@kingmo565]

I'm really not a fan of Matt. I feel he misleads men easily.

[@testing1-2three]

Don’t forget he’s a man giving advice to women. He’s going to give advice that is beneficial to men.

[@drmahidhar1876]

Unlike a woman giving advice to men about how to catch a 🐟 😂

[@lenakunzx]

exactly. as a woman, i'm happy to pay my part of the dinner. done.

[@khaleesiy.7886]

This 😂

[@khaleesiy.7886]

Also what did the story about those people leaving a $3000 bill for their so called friend and a relationship between men and women. Maybe I’m slow but it seemed like it was the route in terms of story.

[@lenakunzx]

As a european raised woman, i would not let a men pay it all on a date, its oldfashioned. Most men think, they OWN you when they pay. its disgusting. Also, society never changes the 'pay gap' if men continue to pay. We woman WANT to pay our part!! You can provide, as i do, emotionally ! thats enough

[@Trix897]

Same. That’s why I go with the rule of whomever asks is the one that pays. It helps level the playing field.

[@babygirlasmr699]

I gained leverage. I am older but look younger. I divorced and started treating myself better then I ever have. Working out, eating well, investing in my hair. Lost 70lbs. I look better then I did 20 years ago. I take care of me.

[@drmahidhar1876]

You in a committed relationship now ? With a guy of comparable social standing who you feel comfortable to allow to “take charge” of the relationship.

[@dericflairmultiverse4952]

2 bros 2 mics lol

[@angelachapman4415]

Alright I'm annoyed by the suggestion that plan B is IVF or surrogates or adoption. All of these options are extremely difficult and expensive. These are only realistic plan B's for rich people with both finances and time to pursue these options. I get the point that was being made about leverage but also the biological clock is a very real thing.

[@drmahidhar1876]

It must be feminism brainwashing to think that A. You can have it all B. You have do it all by yourself C. If you fail to do A and B then somehow you are less than If you’re youthful fit feminine friendly courteous and willing to let a man of value take charge and offer value to that person other than coitus, then that is someone another man would most likely spend money for. Are you any happier due to being brainwashed by feminism to think that you need to be in control at all times and spend your own money to freeze your eggs ? Eh news flash: guys with those kind of resources and options don’t want that type of woman (not infertile but super independent)

[@drmahidhar1876]

If you act like a woman that a man of resources would want to Lock down otherwise - you wouldn’t have to worry about that. Just wild speculation - you probably squandered your youth because this is what society told you was a good idea and because most if not all of your friends were doing the same

[@lowlowseesee]

I'm 50 50 with the outro message, I love the 80% but I also don't tolerate 🧚 tale bs. Way less than Ramit does lol

[@xanynax]

I have not been rewarded for any of the female tasks in my life, but rather punished, and rarely rewarded for the male tasks that I must also do. I'm finally rewriting the schema I was reinforced to perform. I was punished for having children (the reward has been the children themselves) I have been punished for being compassionate, I have been punished for serving- domestically, sexually or otherwise, I have been punished for being feminine... While I have tried to be tough, do physical work, do very hard cognitive work, pay my way plus others ways, and in have been told I don't succeed enough in I own a small hinge, and my job is average, and my health is finally recovery from all this work. When I am clear and assertive I'm told I am not clear because the recipient does not like what I'm sharing. So, the rules have not worked and will not work. The only thing I know at this moment is humility and clarity, without trying to teach anything to anyone who critiques me. I love what I bake and share what I bake with those that are open to it or align with it. Just trudge along.

[@economicon9257]

1:15:15

[@springteen3743]

Money really has nothing to do with a relationship and if for any reason anyone is concerned about money issues then just do not try to even begin a relationship and if you are in the middle of one just walk away. Is so infantile to be concerned about money. If you want to just be with someone for the rest of your life do not ever be concerned about money before starting. Then if money is part of a problem then work on it. 😂

[@cathycoryell2351]

Money matters in a relationship. Self control, between wants and needs, and working towards a financial goal matter. When one person (or both) is frivolous spender, and you're legally married, you are now responsible for that person's frivolous spending. (Usually becomes debt, with interest) you can't just tell a frivolous spender to stop. It's a compulsive behavior to them.

[@springteen3743]

@@cathycoryell2351 again if you have issues with money in terms to engage in a relationship then you should not consider get into it. Marriage or commitment to someone or partner should not be the goal to happiness on the contrary it gets worse so there for the question should be it’s this the person that I am going to be with for the rest of life or not? The same goes for a female looking to be safe in a relationship is futile now days. You deal with all of hardship or success of life with someone who is committed to you within the relationship not before 🤔

[@vanaphill2454]

Whoever wants sex should pay for the date.

[@JF-vw9lv]

So prostituion?

[@maxdudomite]

If a girl expects the guy to pay every time, then it is only fair if the guy expects sex in return.

[@emilycsearle]

Yo, women aren’t prostitutes and even if we were, a $50 dinner at Chili’s wouldn’t pay for the ride! 🤣

[@maxdudomite]

@@emilycsearle Then what’s in it for the guy paying for the dates and wasting his time listening to the girl’s bs?

[@sabrinajolie2465]

​@maxdudomite dating for men is a risk and it's an investment because the outcome is out of your control. Men are afraid to get burned or used but those are the same men that are risk averse in general and operate from a scarcity mindset. I guess they get nothing in the beginning but in the end with the right one they get everything...home-cooked meals clean home clothes and a family. It's numbers game gotta play to win

[@maxdudomite]

@@sabrinajolie2465 Yeah you get all that until she wakes up one day and decides to monkey branch to another guy and leave with half of your net worth. When the game is rigged against you it’s better not to play at all.

[@1maybeline]

​@@maxdudomite There's risk in everything we do, including relationships.

[@focusinc4266]

I've payed way more times then not..but. no rules if u ask me.