Modern Dating: Choosing Connection Over Attention With Matthew Hussey | The Man Enough Podcast

[@jz372]

I wish modern men were more like Mathew Hussey. He has a good heart, he’s a lover. There are horrible dating coaches out there who are more interested in dominating women instead of connecting with them which is scary. I hope Matthew connects with more men and show them the light.

[@osmosisjones4912]

So advice from to boys even very consern is out of self interest as women

[@Mushroom321-]

True!!

[@123seza]

Agreed. As much as he helps women I want him to expand platforms and reach and connect to so many guys out there that really seem to need better dating/relo coaches and role models

[@suzzannarogers]

❤

[@kikobiko7088]

Unfortunately, for many men there is no light. They may just not be good looking enough for women to bother at all, even thou they can be great guys. Modern dating, after femenism hooking up culture and dating apps is nothing more then looks and quick dopamine release. It is very hard to make meaningful connections because women are only fixated on looks.

[@ghaili1175]

The greatest thing about Mathew is he gets women. It’s so nice for a man to understand women

[@krystall1989]

One thousand percent agree with his definition of being (man) enough. To stop posturing and even lying to yourself and the world/ prospective partners about where you are, that is foundational for building honest relationship and at this point the only thing worth looking for.

[@WeAreManEnough]

🧡

[@taraz6786]

Matthew truly radiates empathy, it’s so rare for me personally at least, to encounter a man with this level of compassion. He’s like a unicorn. 😂

[@bartholetbay412]

A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient

[@elladonaldson-lh6nc]

There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without him, I love him so much. wish I can get him back I can do anything to have him back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

[@bartholetbay412]

Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is Shelly renee white

[@elladonaldson-lh6nc]

This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks

[@bartholetbay412]

You wont regret it

[@alenaadamkova7617]

I think in every habit "compound pounding" effect is the best solution.. People probably know this effect but forgot about it because of being too distracted by media or thoughts etc. in sport, in business, in relationships. 1. If you use compound pounding in sport, (exercissing for an hour) you will see no results in 5 days,but you will see big results in 100 days. 2. If you will say a good morning to people, you will see no effect in 5 days, but you will see a great difference in 100 days. 3. If you will practice the compassion for your partner and make some good deed, you will see no or small difference in 5 days, but you will see a great difference in 50 or 100 days, you will see how much you mean to them. People see this compound pounding effect in the nature, the garden looks the same after few days, but after a 100 days it looks different. Therefore you can not tell if your values are working after one week, because you see the effect after 100 or 140 days. Maybe each couple should practice this technique, If I will make something small to make my partner happy, for a little moment, they will remember these little moments, and good calm or happy mood increases the immunity of the body by 50 percent in 4 days. So their kids will learn the same technique. They will learn that if they will read a book 10 minutes a day, it has a great impact on brain. Next time it may be 20 minutes a day. But if you stop doing the healthy habit now... after a week it makes no difference after 140 days the results change for worse, you lose muscles or you lose some skill or motivation etc. Good deed may be also making a pizza or small things. People actually enjoy small things much more than big gestures, because it´s about living in the moment...... Big gestures (expensive car) mean that you actually burned out too much energy to make a small effect, rather than small gestures that after time create a great effect of connection, and people like you for your authentic personality.

[@Avicena-tf5uj]

13 minutes in and I know this guy has it right. After a year of mano-swamp info, I became totally cynical of women. Fact is we are all hurt to one extent, and don’t know how to heal. How to move forward, forgive, and love again. Thank you guys, this is excellent

[@WeAreManEnough]

So glad this resonated with you.

[@gregm762]

"The outcome is not commensurate with the effort." Love that she made this point, as this is exactly the realization I came to after so many years of being the personification of Einstein's definition of insanity. Now that I'm turning 50 I find what matters most is serenity and peace of mind, and that's my focus going forward.

[@susanparkes5096]

But you can have your serenity and peace of mind ..... and shove it where the sun don't shine 🤣 I'd rather be happy.

[@Myglowtips]

Matthew Hussey was designed and created for times such as these. This is literally his calling from the time he was in his Mum’s womb I feel. He is really deeply invested and has put in a great deal of heart, soul and thought into his craft.

[@IndoorSugar]

Stumbled across this podcast after the Drake Bell episode and I am hooked. Just turned 29 and although I am not by any means "OLD", I do find myself wondering "What kind of man are you going to be?" And finding those true conversations are hard to get in the "masculine" world we live in, when its the deep conversations that really shapes a boy into a man. Keep em up.

[@WeAreManEnough]

Glad you found us - thank you for watching!

[@alenaadamkova7617]

He says use connection not attention. WellI wonder if the corporations and companies who sell tons of make up, cosmetics, not one type of make up, but 350 types and brainwash women to have transactional relationships, and men have transactional bonds, just to look superficial, but never seek a connection instead..... just buying more makeup, more parfums, more nails, more shoes, more, more These brainwashing companies will not tell men or women chose conection instead of attention and superfiacial looks, and why such men and women look so unhappy, despite all the material things they bought. maybe minimalsim is happiness.

[@alenaadamkova7617]

"Truth can walk naked, but lie has to be always dressed." Khalil Libran

[@peteransell2000]

Jesus is the best role model..both for men and women..He helps us become the best we can be. ❤

[@IndoorSugar]

@@peteransell2000 I am not religious but I’ll respect your views. ❤️

[@clairestamborski7374]

Much love for Liz and her vulnerability *hugs

[@Mushroom321-]

Yes!! 😕😊

[@vanhoudtshoorn]

Thank you❤. Love Dr Ramani and Dr Chatterjeea podcasts

[@SarahMele]

“If there’s a problem I’ll fix it” 1:08:50 This mentality is also very much the mentality I see from Jamie, which is his super power but also makes sense why he might struggle with the concept that Matthew is spelling out. I like the reframe of focusing on your relationship with yourself and also LIFE. My reflection from this is: “what is my relationship to life right now?”

[@ginoambroise6559]

OMG ! I so loved this episode. I've been following Mathew Hussey for quite a while now but the fact that this conversation had other elements relating to personal experience made it awesome. By the way, I'm a 49 year old man longing for intimate relationship and i used to be so depressed because of that but like Mathew said I'm being self compassionate and it eased the pain of loneliness

[@RegenaO]

Thank you Matthew for your sincerity and vulnerability ✨🙏

[@jcszot]

Yes! Taking the time to investigate one’s character. You can casually vet someone through casual interactions. It’s really not that difficult . If you can go into a situation without any preconceived ideas or notions, you can watch nature evolve, and run its course. Sometimes our intentions or goals become so strong that it over clouds the natural stepping stones in the evolution of an interaction and how it unfolds.

[@lylyanazarela4807]

Mathew Hussey speaks we listen ❤ best love coach ever

[@subeeka.]

Matthew is a star!

[@santisanti8386]

I discovered the morning after 30 years of saying to myself that I was a night owl... Lie! I wake up around 6 now and I love it. Getting out in the light as soon as possible makes all the difference.

[@aureliere]

This was a brilliant conversation between the three of you dissecting modern dating life. I felt seen and validated!! Greetings from the Netherlands 🇳🇱 ❤

[@benjaminbauer425]

Same here. Add Germany to that list.

[@susanparkes5096]

Sucess in dating is not commensurate with the effort you put in - absolutely true, you can flog yourself to death dating and STILL never find your person.

[@practical.emotions]

Liz!! I love what your costar says and as an example -Im outdoorsy and rock climb and snowboard. I thought I needed a partner that does the same. My boyfriend now hates the cold and is afraid of heights. We have come to some compromise -he ll go on hikes w me and likes mtn biking. We re a year and a half strong. Regardless he is so kind, he really listens to me and if something upsets me he actively changes it. I choose him daily over the guys that I thought I wanted that were also condescending, peter pans, and the worst characters came out when we were supposed to he doing something fun (and somewhat scary if they re not a great partner in the wilderness...) I think your costar is stating maybe you ve been dating a "type" and the person that is a great partner may not be your "type" at first. Matthew talks about this in his book of a friend of his that only dated dancers. He found his wife to have 2 left feet. But she s an incredible partner and mother of their kids.

[@olujaydee2024]

I love this episode. Real and down to earth. Today's dating world has a lot of "Mind or Head Games" are a thing of today's modern dating but it is what is. Good insightful converstion! love it!

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thank you for watching! 🧡

[@peacewarrior9518]

I am 49 just walked away from a 9 year relationship because I became aware of who I am and what I would like and that is connection not attraction as I am now connected with who I am I I am happy enough love your words and heart and soul Mathew thank you for your insight and wisdom about love now it all make sense for me ❤

[@Pear10687]

Sir Matthew is everywhere I enjoyed Listening this episode.

[@jodore6363]

This was mind blowing! Absolutetly necessary for me rigth now. One of my favourite podcast episodes ever! Thank you so much!

[@ghaili1175]

Being vulnerable and trusting has been even harder now

[@danacooper6723]

This channel popped up and I decided to let it play in the background while I was doing my hair. The first few minutes of listening to Mathew I kept saying"Yup" "He's right". @thequeenpo dies an EXCELLENT video on Shadow Work, which is what a lot of people have to do to work out those past traumas. I'll listen in the car while I run errands. His analogies make perfect sense to me.

[@nmania3]

This video just popped up for me too. I love queens videos! Butterflies in the sky!🦋🦋

[@thestagemanager12]

Absolutely loved this episode! Some other guests I'd love to see someday: John and/or Hank Green (the conversation they could have about masculinity and brotherhood would be lovely), Brennan Lee Mulligan, Matt Mercer, Lin Manuel Miranda, and Ryan Reynolds.

[@alenaadamkova7617]

Quote: "People who dot feel any purpose, choose pleasure."

[@indoorphine]

i love Matthew

[@elgeebee5250]

It was the opposite to me. I felt the resentment of not being good enough for a proper relationship and connection in my twenties (just a fling, as a pretty girl, now I find it hard to love and trust any men in my 30s.

[@patriciawenzel8350]

I love his passion!!

[@jj1221ify]

Audreyyyy is the queeeeennnn

[@ragsluvsmusic101]

I love Matthew Hussey!

[@monicaarcoya]

Amazing, loved it

[@kathrynhays7794]

Can we have a part 2?

[@janerubybell]

Matthew was very insightful, loved it! Thank you to Liz for being so open and vulnerable. The male host is not my cup of tea 😑 wayyy too aggressive and ideas do not resonate at all 😒

[@annap1171]

Absolutely, the male host comes off as very aggressive and rude. I almost feel like Liz is mentally abused by participating in this podcast.

[@Mushroom321-]

SO MANY HIGHLIGHTS from matthew hussy !!& all of them !! 😲👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@whispersfromheavenones]

I would have done same thing Rebeca did. The world is upside down with this one. The poor man and his itch😂

[@ghaili1175]

Yes 4 months of work and the real person shows up

[@dr_hopekariuki]

Great insight on the infected culture

[@ZoeShayne-xn1vt]

Jamie at 45:00. Yes.

[@elgeebee5250]

It does become scarier, invisible etc!!

[@Avicena-tf5uj]

36:43 This!!!! My god.

[@ghaili1175]

We want real. I want communication. Real truth. No guessing. Just feel and do. But, they end of walking away as well

[@jcszot]

Yes! Say what you mean, do what you say?

[@Lee-yx4yc]

50:20 hit home. “…i need you to help me kill my desire to meet someone…”

[@seth_piano]

Something that is jumping out at me is the idea of dating to "connect" vs. "impress". Of course I want to connect, but I'm wondering if I have some kind of subconscious belief that women don't want to be connected with, they only want to be impressed. (And if so, how true is that?) It'd be nice to rewrite that crappy narrative. I feel like connecting with someone who wants to be connected with is an easier ask than trying to be endlessly impressive, as long as both people are striving towards that same goal.

[@bundlewade]

There are indeed women who want to connect--who, in fact, crave that connection at a visceral level. I understand that some may just want to be impressed, but you cannot build a relationship just based on how impressive someone is. So, Seth, please take heart. There are some good women out there (I speak for myself, but I know I'm not alone).

[@seth_piano]

@@bundlewade Thanks so much for your kind comments :) It can be difficult for me to put these thoughts out there on the internet, knowing that I can easily be attacked from all angles for the horrible crime of just trying to make sense of this stuff. You didn't choose that route. You chose kindness, and I appreciate that.

[@ForrestMystic]

There absolutely are women who want that. And true connection is not easy to find, not just romantically, but in friendships as well. We're all in the same boat. We have to learn that the other side is not the enemy.

[@seth_piano]

@@ForrestMystic You and the other person who responded to my comment, in just a few words, have done a lot to give me hope :)

[@gretchenknurr580]

I think finding a genuine connection with someone will be one of the things that impresses me the most about him-and many of my single friends feel the same way as me! Having practical things in order, like a job, or healthy habits, etc., is appealing, but those alone don’t make someone a good partner if there is no genuine connection.

[@thecharger98]

Note to self: 47:19

[@ghaili1175]

❤. 4months is better than 4 months and 1 day

[@Cee_Eff]

but attention does not create the "hot chemistry" needed to create a date in the first place

[@elgeebee5250]

YES a LOT of resentment and bitterness with some young men 'a failed love story - and that turns people to evil'. I feel it as a woman, I have been so badly treated - in terms of longer term relationship. I am exhausted. I get depression and I just can't believe someone will be there for me. At 30, I feel damn bruised and battered, not just by life, the world, the traumas - but the sadness and loneliness I felt as a young woman, just wanting FRIENDSHIP & love. Not guys having sex with me and ignoring me. Being too mature for most of them it seemed, and now still left

[@Cee_Eff]

I'm sure that if I approached you, you would tell me that I'm not "hot enough", don't have the "right chemistry", but I would be a great husband, only to have you shame me for not accepting a foodie call while you went ahead and Fu%$ed Chad because the chemistry was so hot. I have the exact opposite experience

[@vilimainaralulu188]

Best female dating coach

[@zarahshabir3492]

Also male

[@Empre55]

20:08🔖, 24:11, 27:11, 28:49, 35:15

[@patricetrotter]

Is it better to be single or in a relationship?

[@iwanttobreakfree1307]

Which one brings you more peace? either way, all starts in our relationship with ourselves.

[@seeksolitude9048]

Matthew has become the woman he wants to be with.

[@pibbles9]

Matthew has become the *person he wants to be with. That’s not a bad thing for anyone, of any gender

[@ghaili1175]

It’s called fantasy romance

[@aeshy.th1rt3en]

not sure if anyone has ever thought about this but can you guys have Bretman Rock on this show pleaseeeee?

[@elgeebee5250]

we shouldnt shame people for these feelings

[@trinni1621]

These two men do not like each other

[@Ryan-cb1ei]

I love Matthew, and I’ve never really watched this podcast, so I don’t know much about the other two. Matthew is truly knowledgeable and wants to help people, and he’ll say whatever it takes to make you realize the realities, harsh or not. These two didn’t really offer anything.

[@The-Mask021]

Rick &Mordy did an episode everyone taking his advice

[@kegandalaniebills3659]

what episode?

[@mana-uv7cz]

56:00 I am tired of hearing dated men of all different cultures and looks and salaries. Still single.

[@elgeebee5250]

I'm in the same position as that woman

[@marialiedel7971]

How do you stop dating from a place of ego?

[@peteransell2000]

Forget self ...my needs..my wants..how am l coming across etc and focus on the other person..help the to haveva good time..within your boundaries of good behaviour

[@marialiedel7971]

@@peteransell2000 I really like that! Thank you!

[@susanminer9692]

Just an observation… You may want to clean up the light on the guest

[@osmosisjones4912]

People make think an stress any conflicts should about the relationship. Rick and morty Did episode showing your model

[@kegandalaniebills3659]

what episode

[@osmosisjones4912]

@@kegandalaniebills3659 it was about dating apps

[@osmosisjones4912]

@@kegandalaniebills3659 It was about dating apps

[@JoyleiaJo]

7:13 recovery rate

[@alohakeakua6749]

God that’s the key.

[@MarthaBarboza-b5d]

You are working for the dating app, which is why more people can look for a partner. It’s better for your pocket instead of encouraging people to act like adults and stop doing dumb things, pursuing someone for the wrong reasons, especially men who chase women just for their beauty. You encourage them to keep searching, and you know it is an addictive move for anyone to put themselves out there.

[@elvinrichard5882]

The problem is modern dating is a worse form of courtship which is a worse form of arranged marriage. Having sex before marriage is not creating healthy long term relationships across the board. Women are sampling an endless buffet of men resulting in astronomically high standards.

[@priyankav9792]

Matthew respects his wife and involves her in his business..though she is normal that's wat i like in him..a guy should always respect his better half and treat equally even if she is very normal, not earning person.

[@ghaili1175]

This discussion makes me sad.

[@maritahartmann591]

Is Liz Plank still single? Geesh... How?

[@stadium999]

Young guys aren't choosing women either, let's be honest, but usually those guys are not trying to change women. It's just that they interpret controlling behavior from a woman as a moral deficit, when it's immature communication telling the guy to level up. It's true, women give guys so many chances while in the relationship and the guy will interpret that as they can kind of get away with more than they thought possible and so when the woman decides to leave the guy is like "but you've put up with me this whole time". And yes she has, but now she is done.

[@judyconte6566]

I think this guy is really smart but I'm very confused about what he's saying.On the one hand ( in a recent video I watched of his ) he said don't be the first one to call give the exact amount of energy that that person is giving to you and now he's saying be the first one to call. So what are you supposed to do when a dating experts is giving you conflicting advice, Very confusing !!!!!!!

[@peteransell2000]

Follow your heart...it ll tell you what to do..😊

[@girlygirl1890]

@judy Well, in THIS Podcast, he has a book to sell sooooo (lol) there's your answer. After he gets enough copies of the book sold, he'll go back to the "give the same energy" and "don't call first" advice.😂🤣🤣

[@Nova_Jan]

He's gonna say whatever he needs to, he speaks to women, not men.

[@zarahshabir3492]

It all depends on context. You can’t apply one rule to every situation He’s saying that if you’re in the first stages of talking/dating and no one is making a move even though there are good things there, then be the change you want to see and reach out If someone is consistently showing you who they are OVER TIME, which is they don’t show up and they don’t put much effort in after dating/talking for months, then yeah the energy should be matched because now you should be at a place where the energy is matched. That connection should be earned by that point Does that make sense?

[@medalomismo8424]

very heteronormative conversation

[@Myglowtips]

The Bible says“ „Toward the end, the hearts of men, will grow cold“. Meaning, we will lose our ability to love.

[@888hereandnow]

Psalm 139❤ John 1:9-12 ❤we can be born again!

[@annap1171]

Ugh, I can't listen to this male host. Way to make everyone involved including the audience uncomfortable. I'm so Past caring or listening to these type of "I'm gonna tell u how it is" guys. At 9.53 I'm checking out. If this is the interview style that we have to put up with for this whole conversation . I'm sorry you had to put up with this Matthew.

[@elgeebee5250]

I am noticing so many judgemental men. It's awful

[@freshmintsky]

Her voice feels painful to hear :( so much anxiety

[@annmariebudyn]

Good podcast ruined by bad language at the end. Sorry f*** word doesn't sit well with me. It's not the language for broadcasting and makes you sound weak.

[@kikobiko7088]

The usual nonsense. I very good looking guy teaching other how to date. Let me address the elephant in the room. I am sure you are very successful with women and love BECAUSE YOU ARE VERY GOOD LOOKING. What works for you will not work for the vast majority of men.

[@merlinsreturn]

Mathew Hussey? He's so entitled I can't listen to him for more than a few seconds. He's on the border of egotistic/narcissistic and you have him on as a guest? Seriously?!

[@Bamgeutcutiepie]

what exactly makes you say he is entitled? i would really like to know how you came to that thought...

[@Nutz4Lutz3624]

projecting

[@merlinsreturn]

@@Bamgeutcutiepie If you think Hussey is better than other dating coaches and that makes him good, you haven't realised that you have been brainwashed into the good cop bad copy abusive strategy used by the patriarchy. Rethink taking dating advice from ANY male dating coaches given that the number 1 killer of women is males. Consider the standards for what makes women great and compare those standards to the BARE MINIMUM standards set for men. "OMG he doesn't call women animals so he is such a great guy! ". My standards for what is a good man worthy of respect is Jackson Katz. Have a good day.

[@brennam954]

You sound deeply insecure and like you didn't really listen to the video.

[@mauimanda04]

As a divorced woman in her late 30s, I'm looking forward to hearing this because I do want to date again, but I also don't date just to date....I hope you guys can have Shawn Mendes on again. He was so good on his episode and he's gone through a lot since then. I feel like he's a perfect example of being a man who is able to recognize emotions and that those a part of being a man, too. Anyway... thanks for the good episodes and conversations. ❤💜🩵

[@rjflores438]

It is men that are even more desperate for connection in my opinion, I can vouch as a man the amount of times I have gone out of my way to try and connect with women and been met with a cold shoulder and eyes of derision as their wireless earphones go back in, and those women always seem to have countless dating options even if they dont make an effort.

[@AndiAlexander1]

@@rjflores438stop comparing your level of loneliness and trying to win that, or you will win it. You’re missing what connection actually means. Of course you want that- we all do. We wear headphones to signal we are not open to talking. Take that cue. Talk to someone who isn’t on their way to work or on the phone with their bank and who doesn’t have a partner.

[@halfassedfart]

​@@rjflores438aye, I can relate. Not quite the same scenario, but a broader summary: men are dying of thirst in the desert, women are dying of thirst in the ocean.

[@brennam954]

@@rjflores438 "as their wireless earphones go back in". Sounds you're hitting on women at inappropriate times, like when they're at the gym or busy doing other things and not realy open to conversation.

[@rjflores438]

@brennam954 As a man you have to approach women on a regular basis to get experience interacting and getting your confidence up, you have to risk her being disinterested and actually have the audacity to approach.

[@ghaili1175]

❤. 4months is better than 4 months and 1 day