Ranking Poop Bars

These lyrics are the sh!t.
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[@GlcB]

Kendricks Grandmother saying "Shit don't change until you get up and wash yo ass" is a top tier poop bar.

[@diegogallegos4813]

Kendrick saying “When shit hit the fan, is you still a fan?” is up there with that fs

[@elile8567]

​@@diegogallegos4813i don't want to imagine it hitting the fan

[@SlammerFr]

never noticed that play on words till just now reading this lol

[@TortoiseMaximus]

"I shit, fart, peepee" - Kendrick Lamar

[@SuperNuclearUnicorn]

What's the next word in that bar btw? I can't quite remember

[@StefveoX]

are these technically a bunch of stool samples?

[@chernobylcoleslaw6698]

>under-rated comment

[@16BitOG]

nah thats a bit of a reach but I see where you coming from

[@huare7946]

Accurately rated comment

[@Kevinomens]

S tier

[@devinloew7681]

Compared to thr generic SHITpost comments, this one is great

[@zachflag6506]

In Lil Wayne’s defense, flexing luxury through the high quality toilet paper you buy is really funny

[@fpsbelarus5307]

on god

[@babykata-dt3ys]

Whenever I go to someone's house and they have fancy toilet paper, I know they've made it in life.

[@Brad02K]

Can’t forget Fivio Foreign’s lyrical masterpiece: Shittin', poopin' Huh, shittin', huh, poopin'

[@philtheairplanemechanic]

ice cream, scoopin' shittin', poopin

[@design1of470]

@@philtheairplanemechanic shittin'.. poopin'...

[@flamee23312]

The fact he said it and then immediately had to repeat it like he just wrote an Illmatic level bar 😭😭

[@UnwashedRascal]

@@flamee23312after dropping that masterpiece of a bar he says “I feel like the GOAT”

[@codu.]

The fact we haven’t collectively outlawed poop bars is insane to me

[@joaquin5929]

People will hate on pussy bars but will praise poopy rappers 😂

[@KidneyFailureGaming]

Nah, shouldn't be. The rap game wouldn't be a game without shit.

[@Mighty_Atheismo]

Poop bars are the shit and urine

[@kenterminateddq5311]

I'm surprised that Eminem's "So when I say,"eat sh1#", I mean me" line didn't get ranked.

[@luvkoaofficial]

I feel like we have. Some artists just don't listen 💀

[@Spectrum0122]

It's honestly Impressive that eminem was not on this list at all. "Girl your booty is heavy duty, like diarrhea" is fucking iconic

[@LouieGoden]

XD And there was a poop scheme he did on Caterpillar with Royce too "bitch shit is real/Israel like I pooped Jerusalem"

[@egreen96]

'I'm the shit, why'd you think Proof used to call me Doody?'

[@KilljoyRPMX]

"just shit on my last chick and she has what my ex lacks"

[@BoydOfPray]

I was honestly really hoping for his entire scheme at the end of Royce da 5'9's "Caterpillar".

[@blackbluem1210]

​@@BoydOfPray same lol

[@StucklnAWell]

You missed my favorite. Ye's verse on Cudi's "Erase Me" where he's talking about a girl named Aria, ending the verse with "I couldn't get my shit out anyway, I hope you die, Aria". A beautiful double entendre about poop and diarrhea.

[@RyBrown]

that’s why ye the 🐐 no 🧢

[@coolboyyo654]

the entire verse is a buildup for a poop joke that is peak ye tbh

[@cay924]

Oh shit (no pun intended), I forgot about that classic line

[@furcornmanwiththemasterpla8380]

I prefer "You eat pieces of shit? What's the basis?"

[@zaidlacksalastname4905]

💀💀💀💀

[@thebatman8815]

The fact that he made an entire 14 and a half minute video about poop bars, without mentioning Eminem even ONCE, is outrage beyond human expression, and I want my money back.

[@Offisian]

u would need its own 14 minutes video just for eminem poop bars

[@thebatman8815]

@@Offisian That is true😂

[@siinxx7656]

@@thebatman8815 sir, the entrance was free

[@lovemagicfantastic]

You could say you're... shitting bricks

[@thebatman8815]

@@siinxx7656 Well then I want to be compensated for emotional damages.

[@ramenm_]

Honorable mention to the classic "I let you feel like you the shit, but boy you can't out-fart me." J. Cole is truly one of the rappers ever.

[@spenserwalker4361]

I’m cackling😂

[@jimmyl27]

How did that not make the video

[@Heksensang]

Cole is undeniably one of the greats when it comes to modern mainstream rappers & he inspired me a lot back in HS but holy fuck this bar is hot garbage lol wtf was he thinking

[@gravegaming2023]

On my favorite track from him too 😂

[@birdsfly7199]

Can’t forget “They think they the shit and they ain’t even farted yet”, in Last Call

[@TheOnlyBasketCase]

You would've given the poop an S if it was in the form of a slick, minimalistic wallet that fits right into your front pocket.

[@livserte]

Slid out the back pocket and squelched into the front one...

[@potatoandbeans1543]

I don’t like this reply

[@mc-ps-playa5569]

@@livserteYou didn’t have to post that

[@livserte]

@@mc-ps-playa5569 and Napoleón didn't have to have the nose of the Sphinx blown off, but canon events just happen.

[@mapledemon5601]

@@livserteI’m going to find you

[@notrickross4]

Rick Ross : Getting money so complicated, I'm the shit, I'm constipated This bar lives in my mind constantly as it is truly a stroke of genius

[@JohnArchibald660]

"knowing how to potty is a pretty essential, you know, thing as far as every day life" -Anthony Fantano, 2024

[@brehboi]

“I’m The Shit I’m Farting I Don’t Know How To Potty”. - Kodak Black Inspirational

[@silvaskiproductions3937]

I remember hearing that song for the first time and having to rewind it to make sure I heard it right

[@crenfick7750]

I had to download a version that edited that bar out and put it on ny Spotify.

[@nicholastricarico2957]

That single-handedly turned "Drowning" from a 4/5 to a 2/5. That entire verse, in fact, is trash.

[@nightmare-nightmarenightma1147]

@@nicholastricarico2957SO TRUE

[@ghost-onlyknives8792]

MF DOOM's poop bar on El Chupa Nibre will always be my favorite. "Chew a MC like El Chupa Nibre, digest a group and sell the poop on ebay" so hard.

[@vanillagorillaog]

That goofy sample playing in my head reading this 😂

[@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick]

If there was ever a rapper who could make a poop bar work it would be The Villain.

[@littledoodle5689]

hardest words to ever grace this planet

[@MooseGuy]

on the same album as the song Vats Of Urine nonetheless lol

[@Saneo123]

I spent the whole video waiting for this one, easy S tier

[@caleb4131]

21 Savage just dropped an album with a poop bar in the chorus of a song 😭😭😭

[@wolfwang8464]

“I’m the shit I’m farting, I don’t know how to potty” is easily S tier!

[@shamus8687]

Danny Brown's "Ready to hit the studio and shit all on your mixtape....nah literally, shit all on your mixtape" is the best of all time.

[@ShredIsNotDead]

“Wipe with the credits, leave stains on the Jewel case In just two takes, dog, the booth'll get souffléd”, absolutely amazing

[@kazzykaioken8873]

Your hiding something like a toupe

[@pradabears]

truthfully my friend, touché

[@Phantomink91]

You gon’ get exposed like an up and coming model

[@IK-yb5rn]

What did he mean by it the first time?

[@pinkfedoras]

"i shit fart pee pee" kdot, the greatest lyrical thinker of this modern generation.

[@TheSkaOreo]

How else did he become poet laureate

[@basielu]

i'm sad he didn't mention this

[@Amandanumnum]

⁠@@TheSkaOreopooet laureate

[@blinkx1070]

That Lil Wayne "cuz the paper thick" can also be a double entendre. Paper can be a slang term for money and money is also printed on paper(in the us). So he's not saying he's rich because he can afford thick toilet paper, he's saying he has fat stacks of cash as well as having thick toilet paper.

[@hedgeearthridge6807]

I will always love what someone said before. Before publishing a track, you need to imagine Fantano reading the lyrics in a judgemental tone, and evaluate if you really want to go through with it.

[@holloworacle3140]

"Take Off the Poo Poo, Take Off the Doo Doo, Take Off the Pee Pee" is a S tier bar

[@vthegreatest6352]

Ima take ten shits

[@newking7218]

Another transcendental bar from the lyrical miracle

[@frtnyt]

take that shit off 💥

[@freddiesimmons1394]

Who? ​@@newking7218

[@obob6252]

​@@freddiesimmons1394Poodrick Poomar

[@SADerMetzger]

This is no where near comprehensive enough. Please do a part two, Melon. I need it. I crave it.

[@Nick-cp3sr]

...we all need a number 2...

[@ETHANJAMESCOTE]

Ha!

[@SDSypher]

You can make multiple episodes out of nothing but kodak bars. 3/5 of the first entries in this were kodak 😂. He’s obsessed with poopoo bars. It’s genuinely bothered me for years. Every time I hear a new song of his, I feel like I always hear a poop related lyric.

[@a-don13]

literally missed the best one... eminem's last 8 bars on his "caterpillar" verse

[@Badam-Wackler]

Theres gotta be a nemnem poop bar

[@smile4cs]

"The fart was a shart Call that abstract art" - Lil Dong, 2022

[@rafedoerr]

all time favourite is Fivio Foreign on spin music: "ice cream, scoopin'. shittin', poopin' (shittin', poopin'). I feel like the GOAT." this man rhymed scoopin with poopin for no reason, repeated it, and then declared himself the goat in the very next line

[@nastyladd]

Fivio Foreign: “Ice cream,scoopin,shittin,poopin” Lil Wayne: “I got 10 bathrooms, I can shit all day”

[@AdolphSaxOfficial]

Ngl that steady mobbin bar is up there with "Roses really smell like boo boo" for me

[@design1of470]

SHITTIN', POOPIN'

[@siinxx7656]

@@AdolphSaxOfficial I swear I leave for 2 minutes and everyone becomes a coprophiliac

[@RamenCupBMG]

you missed kanye's verse on erase me. he named the girl aria and structured the whole verse with aria rhymes so he can have the final punch line be a diarrhea joke. the dedication is unmatched. "I couldn't get my shit out anyway, I hope you die, Aria"

[@elans.8595]

that is actually such a good bar to be ranked. such a shame, I demand a part 2.

[@CarbonFiberToiletPaper]

I KEEP ON RUNNIN KEEP ON RUNNIN AND NOTHING WORKS Erase Me is so fucking good

[@marcosmourino7130]

yeah that verse really brings the song down imo

[@RamenCupBMG]

@@marcosmourino7130 yes but no

[@dylangriffin5514]

Yeah except it doesn’t make sense lol. If you’re interpreting it as “I couldn’t get my shit out anyway, I hope you diarrhea” honestly sounds bad imo and wishing death on someone just to make that line is beyond me🤣😭 man just thought he came up with something genius but really not. All he did was fit two words together🫢

[@romeodoom]

Honoring this video by watching it on my phone while taking a dump. Your content is always hard, and you always manage to push it out.

[@LaurentLoiselle]

The timing on this one with the new 21 Savage album is crazy

[@mitch5944]

New poop bar just dropped 😂

[@AndyAtHome]

"It won't even flush, that's how hard it is" straight pottery

[@allerickbriarheart2892]

I hope pottery isn’t what you’re doing with extra structured shit.

[@faeriegraver]

Lmao ​@@allerickbriarheart2892

[@Miglohara]

André 3000 on DoYaThing is one of the only rappers that could craft a fire verse almost entirely comprised of him repeating "I'M THE SHIT" for 4 minutes.

[@dais.2620]

I CAN FAAARRTTT ON IT IMMM THE SHITTTT I GET SMARRT ON IT IM THE SHITTTT

[@elektra8535]

I always liked Mac Miller "I've been in this shit so long that it don't smell"

[@heymarton]

This!! All in one take. Truly god tier

[@AmyGoo22]

that's what I'm saying

[@phillshufftner4495]

was looking for this comment

[@boomman4000]

There is a severe lack of denzel curry going "my guns got diarrhea when it poopoopoopoopoo" on here

[@circuskills1928]

Smino with "My nose can sniff the shit out but I'm never deterred" on amphetamine is one of my favorite poop bars

[@outofmind9222]

Also on Skedos: “mark my turds ima shit on these nerds”

[@EZZI00]

"shart-thony fart-tano here, internet's busiest music turd"

[@shoeshiner9314]

"Internet's poopiest music turd"

[@fxbashful8947]

“I feel so alive I think I shit myself” - Action Bronson

[@scose]

Effortless beauty

[@eduardosilveira6974]

“Shit is-real / like i pooped Jerusalem” will forever be my favorite poop bar. It’s so bad it’s good

[@andrewwgold]

We need a sequel to this

[@Yes-Yes1]

“Run shit like diarrhea” -2 Chainz

[@VANDREL100]

"And I keep shitting on the competition Imma about to put me out a shittape "- 2 Chainz -

[@zaidlacksalastname4905]

That's great lmao

[@psychokitty444]

"I drop so much shit, my anus needs an ice pack" single-handedly fucked up my enjoyment of that CoFlow record.

[@slothDAMN]

100% - one of my fave bars ever from one of my fave records ever! Bigg Jus rules!

[@abagz3919]

“Been through shit like Sodom” - MC Ride

[@AlexAxford7]

How could you miss Outkast's Roses and Nicki's Did It On 'Em??! Absolutely iconic poop bars

[@l.watson3406]

i'm sad he didn't include A$AP Rocky's iconic bar: "Yes, I'm the shit, tell me do it stink?" from Goldie

[@crxyy6252]

Song 9/10 without this cringe line would be 10

[@DecimatedSoul]

​@@crxyy6252fucking love that song

[@VojtaMarek]

“holy poopie, i’m the poopie, i’m god’s manure holy poopie, i’m the poopie, porta-potty tunechi” are you trying to laugh myself to death, melon?

[@gabrielmarciu69]

"I'm on the toilet when I rhyme, if you the shit, then I decline"

[@chrisptophu]

This was a genius video… you should do more rankings around reused metaphors, about money, sex, etc.

[@harrison4d416]

Watching this while pooping. Just feels right man

[@ervin7178]

I’ve never gone poop

[@TheSkaOreo]

@@ervin7178you never go full poop

[@raindog5059]

Dropping an S tier myself right now.

[@BuglordSupreme]

I watched this while eating 😭

[@Magnus3144]

@@ervin7178 Is it cause you don’t know how to potty?

[@xavierlafontaine121]

Nothing will top the moment in Welcome To My Hood (DJ Khaled) when Lil Wayne said "Shit happens and since I'm the shit, I'm who it happens too". FUCKING CHILLS

[@Sssteelo]

This is the only kind of video I’d watch of Anthony’s. Idrc about your reviews I want poop bar videos or something equivalent.

[@xxSeanVxx]

This is the solid and thoughtful quality reviews Ive come to expect from you. Thank you. Quality Content.

[@tariqthomas9090]

My favorite poop bar is from Ms. Lauryn Hill herself: *“So while you imitating Al Capone/I'll be Nina Simone and defecating on your microphone.”* CLASSIC!

[@synthsauce]

The goat poop bar

[@shrimpscampin]

HOT

[@BonJoviBeatlesLedZep]

.....is there a Nina Simone poop story that I missed

[@cellyzs]

yea thats pretty good. There's like two schools of thought for shit bars. Describing yourself shitting on someone else's style and calling yourself the shit.

[@elijahnageli3202]

did nina simone shit on al caponeßs microphone? or rather if al capone is imitation it might not be important, but did nina shit on a mic? or how is the bar clever?

[@SDSypher]

I’m so glad people are noticing how many toilet related bars there are in mainstream music

[@CosmicBaconCat]

Poopy

[@jakeos6051]

We need more poop bars. We need more of these videos, this was a blessing to watch. Thank you.

[@AC_Mitchell]

Closed Circle has never dropped a poop bar...... in our whole existence lol

[@OFFICIALclosedcircle]

😂😂😂😂They are not even the fart

[@behelit1997]

We're wild

[@OFFICIALclosedcircle]

😂

[@OFFICIALclosedcircle]

😂

[@OFFICIALclosedcircle]

😂😂😂😂

[@Apsburner9717]

Wasn’t expecting you to put Kanye’s poopi-di-scoop in S-Tier

[@jordanvilla1369]

I was wondering if this would be here when I clicked on the video lol

[@bravogames4135]

It’s a meme why wouldn’t it be S-tier

[@TheResidence.mp4]

Genuinely should have been S Tier ngl

[@BuffaloSco]

This comment made me laugh hella outloud

[@eachypinky118]

​@@bravogames4135because kanye literally performed it live ?

[@BOCLAN2000]

“Shit don’t change till you get up and wipe your ass boy” from TPAB is the only poop bar that I unironically repeat - it’s actually a deep bar

[@littlemisssunshine5305]

Same here

[@johnnysunrise]

Boy????????

[@immeyouareu2633]

“Now who's the real dookie? Meaning, who's really the shit?” Notorious B.I.G, Hypnotize

[@hoodrat200]

can't forget fivio "SHITTIN, POOPIN (shittin, poopin)"

[@sean13741]

Not that big of a Drake guy but I still think he has the best poop bar of all time with “I’m on a roll like Cottonelle I was made for all of this shit”

[@sean13741]

Doubt he wrote it tho…

[@damjanp7920]

@@sean13741 his 12 year old gf wrote it

[@VojtaMarek]

i’m laughing hysterically for the better part of the video. it’s the seriousness with which he’s commenting the bars and how seriously he implements the word ‘poo’ in the sentences. i just can’t lmao

[@VojtaMarek]

+ the *poopie* as a bleep sound is just too much :dd

[@awsomedudeguy12]

I'm so sad that the second kodak bar was E, I lost my shit

[@CMBlue]

Need a number two video in this series

[@bencook5455]

Forgot about Travis Scott on Trance: "I'm clearing shit out like an enema"

[@stevetheserf3621]

"I know I've been the shit, all these people full of me. I admit it, I'm full of myself too" by Mac Miller on Remember is an s tier poop bar that was left off this list. It's clever, it basically does everything an "I'm the shit" bar can do.

[@kiernanmooney6210]

That Lil Wayne bar fucking killed me. "Dear Mr. Toilet..." jesus christ, what a legend.

[@dereosroads]

Loved the way this video plopped on my feed.

[@karltonkinley3745]

j. cole’s bar was obviously a reference to the seminal swedish d-beat band The Shitlickers, not surprised such an elevated lyric went over your head

[@grantmckeever507]

I paused the video when Enter the Wu-Tang came up to rack my brain. I was for certain you would go with ODB’s “I get into sh*t, I let it out like diarrhea, got burnt once but that was only gonorrhea.” GZA’s line from Clan in da Front was fine but not what I expected. I thought you would at least mention that one afterwards. Still, I was laughing hysterically throughout just about the entirety of this.

[@natecc1412]

was thinking the same thing odb's was the first one that came to mind for me

[@In.New.York.I.Milly.Rock.]

Most sanitary ODB bar

[@Lucarioguild7]

I'm glad I'm not the only one that was expecting an ODB bar

[@zondaboy6493]

The gza one was the one that came to mind for me, probably because of how hard he goes on the delivery.

[@Mpdarkguy]

This is a series that should continue, these rappers really need some fiber in their lives

[@interpol990]

This is the content I need from you, Melon.

[@MitchellTeeRapz]

Wayne is the king of poop bars. “Shit happens and since I’m the shit I’m who it happened to.”

[@N0VA64]

I also love "Now who's the real dookie, meaning who's really the shit" from Biggie. Simple but delivered with gusto

[@billbill6094]

Players cursed it, but rehearsed it, I drop unexpectedly like bird shit.

[@RadishShifu]

" I let you feel like you the shit, but boy you can’t out-fart me" - J Cole

[@TheLilmuzzy]

As a Cole stan the whole video felt like I was dodging this bullet

[@mushuansari]

Key Missing songs: Ye's part on Erase Me by Kid Cudi The Migos on We Did It Kid By Ye on Donda 2

[@bruno_ffs]

This video cured my constipation, thank you Anthony

[@elektra8535]

Didn't expect Fantano would rate half of J.Cole's discography

[@tylertap2385]

I thought the Wutang one was gonna be ODB when he said “I keep shit stains in my draws so I can spit somethin funky for ya” ODB leaving us with a classic!

[@T-Ron]

So I guess 21 Savage watched this

[@telafranklin3131]

you JUST missed 21's one wow

[@tahaymvids1631]

Thank you melon man for giving your opinion on poop consistency. Myself I prefer a solid log.

[@TheRealHaloLover]

More buoyancy

[@tahaymvids1631]

@@TheRealHaloLoverone hundo p!

[@bananaman3636]

This video is the shit

[@soxfan9579]

This video is the poopy

[@itreallybelikethatdoe829]

This video is the dookie

[@elile8567]

This video is the excrement

[@sEdJ1281]

This video is the feces

[@sewlew8889]

An absolute toilet special

[@pkre707]

With the amount of poop bars out there, you could make a whole series out of this, and I’d watch every one

[@stevebob240]

This is the video I've been waiting for. Seriously

[@TheDarkThing707]

I feel like you could make a part 2 with just Eminem bars alone, and have bars across all the tiers

[@sczpemytzi4783]

I was very surprised to not see caterpillar on the list

[@robrt999]

I was thinking the same thing

[@4rl0ng]

Been waiting for caterpillar as well

[@0_Cardboard_0]

I didn’t know they made poop-flavored bars, but thanks for taste-testing them!

[@srr955]

The new savage album would've been a big highlight here

[@themotorcycle]

toosii and fivio foreign on spin music "ice cream, scoop it, shittin poopin, shittin poopin" is forever stuck in my head.

[@emilcapilongoanthony9430]

If this was called "To pimp a buttershit" anthony would have given this a 10

[@chillepalmerz]

To Poop a Butterfly

[@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick]

To Shit a Butterfly.

[@tigerbrown5640]

''my booty heavy duty like diarrhea'' -the goat, Marshal

[@jwanbesande2734]

I thought it was your booty is heavy duty

[@bruh......2005]

F tier bar

[@Krep336]

@@bruh......2005 Nah A tier atleast, it's too goofy

[@lordklek4769]

Some of your best work right here

[@papawade3103]

What a beautiful first video to have recommended in 2024. Love this

[@robstoplights]

There was a Vice article several years ago that compiled all of Wayne's poop references that I revisit often. My favorite is probably either "Shit as I sit and wait for the war to begin" from "Dear Anne" or "Shit don't stank when you shittin' in the bank" from "Higher than a Kite" by Nicki Minaj

[@SDSypher]

Getting ranked lower than “lift yourself” is like getting kicked in the head when you’re already on the ground bleeding

[@FrostedJr]

Well at least we get the occasional ✨nugget✨

[@yt4870]

Eminem: "Your booty is heavy duty - Like diarrhea."

[@QuickVipes]

This is easily the best video from Fantano I’ve ever seen. And I genuinely mean that.

[@TreeTrunkCrabWhacka]

Honestly I'm very disappointed you didn't use the Bristol scale to rank these

[@jesuslacanilao4117]

Starting the year strong with a poop bar tier list lets goooooo!

[@NonExisting269]

I’m the shit like Mr Hanky, Shoot the 38 with both hands the trigger janky - BabyTron

[@arkayv]

Thank you Austen for saving the video at the last second, was appalled by the fact that DoYaThing didn't even get mentioned by melon man.

[@jasperfolks2000]

Let's be real, the "... you're not even the fart" line is probably the best poop line in this whole vid I laughed sooooo hard😂😂😂😂

[@SBG_Arseny]

I have a poop bar in my song "DEF" it goes "Anthony Fantano, I'm the shit." Which is just a joke because he hates poop bars....It's an old song...but still relevant.

[@painter757]

“Im the sht, they popping squats, like Im popping them”