GOTHIKANA is THE WORST BOOK I'VE READ

Start speaking a new language in 3 weeks with Babbel! 🎉 Get up to 60% OFF your subscription ➡️ here: go.babbel.com/...
Join this channel to get access to perks:
/ @readswithrachel
SUPPORT THE CHANNEL:
Patreon: / readswithrachel
Commissions: ko-fi.com/read...
Merch: www.bonfire.co...
Wishlist: www.amazon.com...
CONTACT ME:
Business inquiries please email me here: [e-mail]
All other emails go to: [e-mail]
Support Roma children and youth in Ukraine:
chuffed.org/pr...
Support Palestinian children: www.pcrf.net/
Support Democratic Republic of Congo during their humanitarian crisis:
www.doctorswit...
SUPPORT INDIA DURING THEIR COVID CRISIS:
donation links
-www.careindia....
-www.projecthop...
SUPPORT COLOMBIA:
resources and info
-mailchi.mp/cb9...
BLACK LIVES MATTER.
Resources:
-Massive list of places and people to donate to: nymag.com/stra...
-Find a protest or fundraiser near you: / events
Find literature to read
Watch Vee Kativhu's video on recommending books to learn about racism: • 10 books you MUST read...
-Support some Black youtubers by watching Myonna Reads' playlist of Black booktubers: • Black Booktubers
Support my channel
-Patreon: / readswithrachel
-Tip me on Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/read...
-Use my link to get $10 off your first Instacart order: inst.cr/t/VTNr...
Follow me on socials
TIKTOK: / rachelwithreads
INSTAGRAM: / readswithrachel
BLUESKY: bsky.app/profi...

[@ReadswithRachel]

Start speaking a new language in 3 weeks with Babbel! 🎉 Get up to 60% OFF your subscription ➡ here: go.babbel.com/t?bsc=usa-influ-eg-dt-1m&btp=default&KZbin&Influencer..May-2024..USA-TATAM..1200m60-yt-readswithrachel-may-2024

[@BennetRenard]

I am begging people to learn that Dark Academia does not mean "dark vibes in an academic setting."

[@TheTrueKarin]

After I saw this video I looked it up online and honestly I find know 100% definition. In one post it is about dark settings like 1920, music shows and heavy literature, in another it is about a twisted love for the elite world and in another it is just a school, with weird but really specific clothes choices and students who are way weirder. So what exactly is DarkAcademia? Any Idea?

[@PinkCatsy]

​@@TheTrueKarin it was originally a genre that critiqued academia via things like magic and murder iirc or that's the gist. Like ultimately the genre started out as a criticism of academia and the culture around it, but it also became an aesthetic which I think obscured this original definition.

[@bunnyellabell]

​@@PinkCatsy to add on, i always think of the secret history. it critiques elitism in academia. wealthy people getting away with murder. how things that look beautiful can actually be dark & twisted and terrifying. a setting in an old school with a murder mystery subplot/romance main plot is a poor excuse for dark academia. definitely more than just a visual aesthetic!

[@MovableNu]

Thanks for those definitions. I honestly have never been concerned about Dark Academia enough to look up what it’s actually about. So y’all have been very helpful 👍🏾

[@Magicath]

anyone in this comments section looking for true dark academia should start with Donna Tartt! I see someone else has already mentioned The Secret History which is both a wonderful opener to the genre and the pioneer.

[@janarankova8300]

If this was on the AO3 it would have "Plot what plot?" tag on it...

[@exomake_mehorololo]

And I'd still be disappointed

[@myrthegreek]

Exactly!

[@boothillsnipplezippers3]

I've seen fyolai pwp fanfics with awful tags better than this book

[@mathematicalcabbage]

I think it wouldn't have the tag but it would Def be one of those 50/?? chapter long fics and the chapter titles would be lyrics to emo music

[@amandapanda5087]

Fr

[@smolexfundie6458]

Creating and describing a traumatized survivor of sexual assault (AND the foster system)as a “bitch” is just…..wow. just WOW

[@ReadswithRachel]

My jaw hit the floor when I read that

[@gaslight.gatekeep.girlboss6476]

Ikr? yikes

[@jesustyronechrist2330]

The uncomfortable thing is, I know people like that: Who have gone through it and are... well... Like this one classmate "friend" I had: She was one of the most un-self-aware, selfish, hypocritical, entitled, snake-like, gossiping, and quick-tempered people I've ever met. And she kept trauma-dumping on me all the time of her trauma, relationship issues, and abusive childhood. I cut ties with her when I realized she had never listened to me and didn't know anything about me. She never cared. It was always about her her her and her issues and I felt thoroughly used as a free therapy-dog. Yeah, turns out that sometimes, traumatic events make people into bad people. It's a tragedy where they become a villain. And having trauma doesn't excuse bad behaviour. People rarely want to talk about this because it makes them feel uncomfortable. And we like to think the "underdog" will always be a good person. But in reality, a broken person is a broken person. So while that description is quite bad and lack self-awareness, it's not as outrageous as you feel it is. It's uncomfortably plausible.

[@atlas6864]

@@jesustyronechrist2330i agree, though i think the issue is more to do with using such a disrespectful word rather than saying she can't possibly be a bad person. especially IMMEDIATELY after explaining her trauma

[@3belowFan]

It's just so disturbing....☠️

[@cassiehosh1677]

i have a feeling gothikana's author looked at my immortal and said "what if i make this but instead of it being a draco x reader fanfic it's a snape x reader fanfic"

[@qwinlyn]

I can’t unsee it now. Thanks, I hate it.

[@cassiehosh1677]

@@qwinlyn you're welcome >:)

[@TheTrueKarin]

Magic Eyes, Magic Pussy Damn, Snape. No wonder he never managed to get someone😂

[@elizabethm8982]

Lmao, the first thing that came to my head as soon as I heard the name "Corvina" was My Immortal 🤣

[@MissAshyQ]

I would not be shocked if RuNyx is secretly the My Immortal author all grown up 💀

[@mesocylon]

Romanticizing a groomer getting custody of his mentally ill victim and marrying her, and that’s supposed to be the Happy Ending. *Classy.*

[@lycianempire]

Did Judge Turpin write this?

[@marymac3572]

"A timeless love story!" - Humbert Humbert

[@izayoi2006]

The creepy part is those school rules really give the impression the author wrote this story with a high school in mind with underage kids who could have had these rules enforced on them. But just aged them to college students to avoid backlash.

[@Lemoncakelover678]

​@@marymac3572he'd definitely write that as a review with the rating of 5 stars

[@somethingcreative32]

Lemony Snicket did the same thing with count Olaf and the lead girl (who's fourteen) in a series of unfortunate events, only instead of romanticizing it they demonize the hell out of it! Something tells me this book is the polar opposite of ASOUE. Keep that in mind I guess.

[@srose1088]

I find it so cringe when the older man says the younger woman is "dangerous. " It sounds like they are on a diet and the restaurant has a desert menu.

[@Confractus_]

I literally laughed out loud at this omfg😭 middle aged white woman ordering dessert is genuinely hilarious

[@Curdled.milk1]

​@@Confractus_ That's what i thought of immediately

[@micahguillemette3344]

"the singular masculine attention from a masculine male" feels like something i would write in a crack fic. There's no way this is serious.

[@SodicCan]

Gives off the same vibe as "She breasted boobily down the stairs"

[@morbidhime]

It's giving "she breasted boobily down the stairs"

[@flowerbloom5782]

Ong

[@absinthemindedartist]

I actually put the book down and called my mother to ask her about this... for perspective, I'm in my 40s, and she's in her 60s. We had a BIG laugh.

[@Artbyhurricanyounot]

Something tells me RuNyx hasn’t actually listened to the lyrics of “Take Me to Church” otherwise it wouldn’t be on that playlist 🥲

[@ReadswithRachel]

She heard “when the ritual begins” and said “on the playlist it goes!”

[@Wearenotallaxemurderers]

Agreed

[@Totally.0riginalUser]

and "achilles come down" too :(

[@lydedollia765]

ACHILLES COME DOWN IS ON THERE?!? NOOOOO-

[@mariesummers.]

@@Totally.0riginalUser - Rip. I didn't realize "Achilles Come Down" was on the playlist.

[@Ivy-od1qu]

As a biology student, I can't take this book seriously. I have to laugh. The author *thinks* they're being cool and gothic by naming their main character "Corvina" and calling her "Little Crow" because "Corvid", but corvina is the name of a fucking fish.

[@strangestauthor]

As a black woman the moment you got to Roy's backstory I literally had to pause and I actually screamed "OH FUCK YOU FUCK OFF" at that part. why did the author think that was REMOTELY ok

[@ReadswithRachel]

Between that and the depiction of schizophrenia I am shocked that Runyx hasn’t issued an apology. Theres simply no way that no one else pointed these things out to her. Why would you write that let alone publish it and then republish without fixing it and apologizing… fucking gross.

[@AlishaHerbiederbie]

I'm not black or a person of color and it made me furious. There is so much wrong with this book it's disgusting. The fact that an actual publishing company with paid editors and staff was just chill?? No notes or consideration of how racist and misogynistic and outright harmful this thing is??? Fuck right off.

[@angelicamyers4568]

Stuff like this makes me furious! And what really makes my blood boil is that some of these same publishers tell authors, especially Black authors, that stories with Black protagonists won't sell because they don't appeal to readers and they aren't relatable. But they let THIS slide?! They okayed THIS?! This is what appeals to readers?! This is what readers consider "relatable" in terms of a Black character?! Madness! Sheer, utter, despicable madness!

[@AeonPhoenix]

@@angelicamyers4568 I don't wish to be grim, but I think America hasn't moved past and matured from the days of Jim Crow if they think that this is what people find acceptable in black protagonists in fiction.

[@DesertKitsune]

If I had to hazard a guess, it's because this is a Wednesday Fanfic masquerading as an original story, and Roy is obviously supposed to be Bianca. But instead of writing Roy as the layered and complex character that Bianca actually is, RuNyx took her mean persona at complete face value and added a tragic backstory with zero interest in fleshing her out or having Corvena show the slightest bit of empathy towards her. Tl;Dr bad author wrote a bad fanfiction and traditionally published it.

[@AlishaHerbiederbie]

"Stolen art slapped on a book that's story is held together with spit, a prayer, and a dry glue stick." It is this level of sass and sarcasm that makes me giddy when I see your reviews.

[@AlishaHerbiederbie]

What in the gluten-free audacity is this chucklefuck author doing so many red flags 🚩🚩🚩

[@AlishaHerbiederbie]

Whoooa holy racism, Batman. Jesus christ these stereotypes HOW DID THIS GET PUBLISHED EDIT: holy racism, Batman wtfff??? EDIT EDIT: they LYNCHED the students? EDIT x3: Professor Inappriopriate, in the Library, with a prison sentence!

[@AlishaHerbiederbie]

Wait what they actually had a fully random POV and then her forbidden fruit in the hurricane of list my brain hurts EDIT: their *molecules* EDIT: the *firecracker* EDIT: he slaps her and what what deranged rape fantasy is this guy living in What are the WASP wives doing with their lives that make so many of them get hot over the most cringe plot-less ~spicy~ books??

[@AlishaHerbiederbie]

There's another 24 minutes RACHEL🤢🤢🚩🚩🚩

[@AlishaHerbiederbie]

"My good bitch, you need to run!!" WHY ISN'T HER SENSE OF SELF-PRESERVATION, LIKE, ANYWHERE??💀

[@Burnerbun]

The eyes on Jenna Ortega keep taking me out🤣🤣

[@justcallmeivonne]

Same! 😂😂😂

[@asteridshydrangea-jt2hf]

Reading this comment before seeing it all I could picture was googly eyes and now I wish they had been like shocked bug/googly eyes just with a little purple on them 😂 Ortega showing astonishment at the quality of the book

[@morbidhime]

No because that's literally someone's actual, unironic faceclaim for Corvina... I'm not even kidding bc a while ago when this book was first getting popular, one of the first images that come up when you would google "Gothikana faceclaims" was straight up Wednesday Addams with terribly photoshopped purple eyes.

[@Keter9793]

"She knew what he would see - black ribbon choker, fishtail braid, her odd violet eyes." Just floating in the air I guess.

[@LorewithouttheE]

like when video game models glitch out and the face just disappears, leaving just the hair and eyes and teeth 😆

[@elainagilbert7663]

She's the Cheshire Cat.

[@angelawossname]

"Plot holes size of a fucking crater" is why I pay to watch your videos early.

[@thisisavivistanaccount7866]

i’m convinced people who like these books…don’t have good sex or don’t ever have sex bc it’s not sexy??? like the sex scenes are not arousing. also i’m sick of “spicy” books not having plot+ bad sex scenes. we as readers deserve good smut!!! also i’m sick of these abusive dynamics being played up as enemies to lovers or some dumb ass trope. Grooming isn’t cute

[@bunnyellabell]

agreed !!!!!

[@toastysweaters5692]

I’m asexual as fuck, and even I know a terrible sex scene when I read one, and this definitely hits the mark

[@amandapanda5087]

​@@toastysweaters5692Fellow ace here, and yeah, I agree. You don't need to be a pilot to know if the plane you're on's being flown well (I've never been in the air, so I could be wrong, but you get the gist of the metaphor).

[@h2o2630]

What do you mean you don’t like reading sex scenes it’s so clear that the love interest just views the MC (or maybe the author 🤔) as just a hole to stuff his cock into!?!?! THATS LOVE DONT YOU KNOW?! (Sarcasm) In all serious totally agree with you, ppl who like this stuff have never had good sex, or at least think meaningless sex is the same as meaningful sex

[@manderbet]

I'm convinced they're all written by repressed Mormons.

[@dajab.7331]

the use of the death card to represent literal death in this book triggered me as much as Roy's murder. if the author wanted to use a card to represent chaos/death, they should've used the tower, NOT THE CARD THAT OVERALL HAS A POSITIVE MEANING WTF

[@EliseArainai]

Christ on a bike, the Persona games understand the major arcana cards better than this!

[@amandapanda5087]

I know very little about tarot, but even I know that the meanings of the cards aren't literal.

[@alexv3372]

But why a tower ? I don’t get it

[@aeneasvanillo7100]

@@alexv3372The picture on the Tower card is a tower being struck by lightning and burning, its a stable structure suddenly being battered and collapsing under disruption and upheaval, which is what the Tower card stands for

[@alexv3372]

Then what about the literal death card

[@jennderqueer]

from the description of Corvina i kept expecting the preps to stare at her and she put up her middle finger at them. *eyeroll* 🐦

[@AlishaHerbiederbie]

This made me screech out loud, oh my god 😂

[@Moony1568]

If only we were blessed enough to be in Ms Ebony Darkness’ presence.

[@yessirde]

Corvina could NEVER even hope to match her majesty Dark'ness.

[@lagggoat7170]

SAAAME Especially in that scene where her appearance is described

[@AW-xc1xc]

Corvina is a preppy poser compared to our goffik queen Ebony "Enoby" Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way... she'd eat her for breakfast and then wash it down with some Vampire Potter blood

[@AwsomenessRain]

“Vad means untamed” Actually it means “what” in swedish, which feels appropriate because what is any of this It also means “calf (body part)”. This has been random swedish trivia thank you and good night!

[@SilverDomainShrine7]

I looked up “vad definition” as in the general sense…the first thing that showed up was “voluntary assisted 💀” and “Ventricular assist device” and tons of other shit 😭 The fact it also means something different in Swedish you mentioned is cracking me up- legit hollering with laughter

[@npflaum]

I gave up far too soon on my Swedish lessons, so I appreciate the info.

[@EviePontecorvo]

Thank you for your service

[@orsiszujer6951]

It didn't register at first, but I believe it was Hungarian that the author bastardized. In Hungarian "vad" technically means wild, but I guess you could translate it as untamed

[@rosaline34]

Vad means wild in Hungarian, so I guess it's kind of similar to untamed?? Though that would be szelídítetlen...

[@SevenReads007]

Ebony Darkness Raven Dementia Way??? Is that you???

[@spaghetto9836]

I watched The Book Leo's vid on this a year ago, and had this same realization halfway through 😂.

[@crizmeow8394]

Surprisingly I think Ebony may be a more interesting character

[@luxury_nightmare]

Ebony would mop the floor with Corvina simply because she had the decency to not glorify grooming

[@ItzWilliamAftonProductions]

@@SevenReads007 at least Ebony was funny and was probably satire or something

[@Man-ej6uv]

as a person w schizo i'm so pissed off by such portrayals. schizo isn't magical or abnormal- i'm still a person. having it isn't scary, you learn to live with it or get treatment.

[@alexv3372]

Hope you get better

[@micahguillemette3344]

I feel you. One of my best friends has shizophrenia and she's a well adjusted adult with a job, a big appartement, a steady relationship and many good friends. She's a bit odd and not everyone likes her personnality but she can still have normal and respectful conversations. More than all the "normal" christians defending guns and "pro life" in my opinion...

[@inscreamingcolour]

the funniest part about you comparing this book to AO3 fics is that most AO3 fics (that I read, at least) have tons more plot and character development than this book could ever imagine having

[@amandapanda5087]

Yeah, I've read better fanfics than this **published** book.

[@alexv3372]

Especially Danny phantom fanfics You know I have so many bookmarks

[@aquariumgirls]

yeah this is like something you'd find on wattpad 😭

[@alexv3372]

That’s no GOOD 👎🏼

[@beetlebug7329]

i think wattpad would be a better comparison

[@linah1998]

I don't know a whole lot about tarot but it's so funny how these stories always use the death card as a dark and bad omen just because it's "death". In reality it is seen as quite positive, standing for new beginnings

[@solseternity87]

That's right! It typically means something coming to an end so something new can begin. If this author wanted to use something edgy, then the 10 of Swords would have been a better option (coupled with the 3 of Swords or 5 of Cups lol) but it's obvious when these authors dont do their research.

[@EliseArainai]

The folks behind the Persona games are more accurate than this -_-

[@jenngalm]

I’m glad someone mentioned it! You just know an author knows nothing about tarot when the Death card shows up and they go “oh yeah, literal death.” Honestly, you could have even done the Devil card and it would have made more sense for the (non-existent) plot and would have been really cool if the main character realized she was being trapped by this devil (aka the teacher) and needed to escape in order to become a better version of herself. But, that gives the author way too much credit in doing research into actual practice instead of the aesthetics of tarot.

[@pikapower_kirby]

The frickin' Street Fighter comics used it for literally one panel and got the meaning right. I don't get how authors who base a good chunk of the plot around tarot don't do the bare minimum of research...

[@bmlgordon]

I worry a lot more about the Tower card.

[@joelleblanc8670]

"I'm the only madness you'll have." Excuse me while I walk into the sea.

[@alexv3372]

Honey that’s not romantic that’s just toxic

[@spaghetto9836]

"Hey, just so you know I have nut allergies-" "Dw, my nuts are the only allergen you'll have."

[@hailthequeenFM]

@@spaghetto9836 jail, straight to jail

[@rikkifishy]

This isn’t laughably bad, this is just BAD. The plot holes. The racism. The grooming. The sex scenes. I. I can’t. I Can Not.

[@flowerbloom5782]

Yup

[@booksfrombed]

Girl no, don't bring Florence + The Machine into your horrible power imbalance fantasy 😭 This book feels like the cursed personification of early Tumblr, a la Alexandria's Genesis and Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. (Also the meme cuts are, as usual, immaculate and make me cackle!) 🐦

[@reagansmith9509]

I haven’t thought about Alexandria’s Genesis in so long but you are SO right! The grip that it had on Tumblr…

[@katyak5664]

The absurdly broad thesis topic is A++. What genre of music? What genre of literature? Is your academic advisor asleep at the wheel, my son?

[@joluna6664]

This this this this it´s so funny to me. Like who told you that was a valid thesis??

[@alexv3372]

Who told you to write this? A fanfic author whose spirit his haunting your Mac and is forcing you to write this so his/her spirit can be set free

[@spaghetto9836]

Exactly 🤦🏾‍♀️. It's sad bc it implies the author has never carried a proper thesis to term in their life. Broad-ass "Throughout the times" my 🥷, what times?? In what part of the world?

[@starbird3939]

“The girl jumped off the top of the building after dating a teacher.” I remember Persona 5 did this… except it was treated as horrifying and awful like it is supposed to be

[@camilleroblin5005]

Shiho was actually r*ped or SA by the teacher, because Ann, who is believed to date him, refused to have s*x with him. That's why Ann feels guilty, she thinks if she had accepted the s*x, Shiho would never have been assaulted.

[@flowerbloom5782]

Yup. They also depicted the teacher as the abuser and manipulator he was.

[@L0renIsL0nely]

The fact that "Corvina" here in Brazil is a fish instead of meaning "little crow" made this book so much funnier when I read it (I never finished it tho)😂

[@russa2916]

Corvina e o marido dela Tucunaré

[@TakiariDragon]

A sim, meu personagem favorito, *peixe ossudo*

[@Crystal_Lily.]

A autora tacou o fds e meteu o nome de um peixe KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK só desastre

[@thehelenafiles]

As goth girl i am offended. I mean, i want to see more goths in books, specially goth guys that wear makeup and back comb their hair instead of generic shadow daddy shit, makes me sad that this one ain't it :( 🐦‍⬛

[@shortinsomniac76]

If you know of any book like that (besides Sandman) please please share

[@Sophia-ss8gr]

You might enjoy The Whispering Dark by Kelly Andrew.

[@thehelenafiles]

@@Sophia-ss8gr ooooh I did read your blood my bones by Rachel's recommendation and I really liked it, def will check it out

[@Sophia-ss8gr]

@@thehelenafiles It's pretty much what this book tried to be but with an actual plot, no grooming, an interesting mystery and compelling characters

[@InterplanarerPennersoeldner65]

What about a huge, muscled behemoth of a guy whos clothes barely fit, and where you see phat veins on his muscles, and he always says "....im dark." ?

[@Kat-ff6bg]

Denial: 29:13 Anger: 29:17 Bargaining 29:22 Depression: 29:25 Acceptance: Never.

[@roselane8152]

Corvina not wearing underwear is so ridiculous, as if women don't have discharge on a daily 🙄. Besides, the smut feels cringe af.

[@kerriharris7418]

She’s absolutely ridiculous but let’s not forget that bodies are different. I’m a dry lady that doesn’t wear underwear unless it’s period week. Which is very unfortunate in other parts of my life 😅

[@naveerarizwan5329]

@@kerriharris7418 what if your wearing a really short skirt? Do you just go around flashing everyone?

[@sadgirl2.0]

​@@naveerarizwan5329 Not wearing underwear is so outlandish to me. I hope the person who wrote that comment doesn't flash anyone 😭

[@kerriharris7418]

@@naveerarizwan5329 That’s a fair question. I don’t like my legs very much and don’t often wear skirts and shorts, but when I do I’m wearing tights.

[@naveerarizwan5329]

@@kerriharris7418 yeah ok that makes sense 🫶🏽

[@StephtheGD]

“Corvina Crow” sounds like a great DnD character, but I'm not sure about the name of your MC in your alleged “gothic novel”😆

[@asteridshydrangea-jt2hf]

IMO would also be great for a crow familiar who was quite huffy and fussy and, when pressed to pick a human name, picked it because it was pretty and also it could mean crow, the best of all beings, the most beautifully feathered and clever, who very generously helps the silly clumsy humans with their magic. Should be the familiar of a benign, slightly doddering magic professor who said crow familiar pretends to be impatient with but is actually very fond and protective of. ETA: actually maybe both should be DnD NPCs lol. If a player rolls really well on perception or charisma the fussy crow lets something extra slip about the mission

[@Steal_sun]

Shes called little crow croq

[@legendaryfrog4880]

That synopsis reminds me of "Glass Onion" "NO! It's not smart! It's just dumb!"

[@Grayvorn]

Perfect descriptive.

[@UnicornRoseDust]

Corvina? As in the FISH????? I-

[@SilverDomainShrine7]

Imagine having the same name as a species of fish 😭

[@Silvery_jade]

Literally my first thought, I want seafood now!

[@TheNumnutRandomness]

Gothikana AU where everything is the same except Vad calls Corvina, "My fish fillet."

[@Jessf-rn5lo]

I keep mentally picturing one of those fish characters from Spongebob as Corvina instead of like, a Walmart Ebony Darkness Raven Way.

[@SilverDomainShrine7]

I googled and saw that Corvina means something in Italian that has Latin roots meaning “raven black.” But…IT’S OVERSHADOWED BY A FISH. A FREAKING SPECIES OF FISH 😭

[@BipolarBear_pen15]

I can’t stress how funny I find the over-usage of the phrase “I’m your madness”. Imagine you’re doing the Devil’s tango with some guy and he keeps saying “hammer time, baby!” over and over and over again.

[@sh4rky466]

That is WILD 😭

[@SuperEkkorn]

The disrespect to Hozier, damn I felt that

[@theonebreadlord]

as a hozier fan this is real

[@ainsleyhilliard]

“A plot that’s held together with spit, a prayer, and a dry glue stick.” I laughed out loud

[@mikankitsune0440]

This book reminds me of the saying my grandma used to have: *Ya can try all you want, but you can't make shit shine.* 😮‍💨 also, the Death tarot doesn't mean death it means rebirth, new beginning and metamorphosis. The Tower card on the other hand.... yeah, that's a *you're screwed* card.

[@qwinlyn]

I learned this in the early 90s from the Escaflowne anime! I can’t believe that people are still getting this wrong 30+ years later. 😂

[@mikankitsune0440]

@@qwinlyn I know! It's freaking wild the debates I've gotten into with people who swear I'm wrong. 😭

[@Darkfyyre]

@@mikankitsune0440 THIS! the only time i've ever forgiven a piece of media for making the "death card = death" implication was in the TV show "Bones", bc my interpretation is that the tarot reader intentionally used this card to signal danger to the uninformed/ignorant MC. probably the show writers didn't do this on purpose, but it's the only time i've ever felt there could be a plausible excuse for this error. however, in a story where real, genuine tarot reading should fit right in, there's ZERO excuse for such an egregious mistake!!

[@flippanties]

Reminds me of the phrase my mother always uses. "You can't polish a turd". Not sure which version I prefer lol

[@alisonmercer5946]

Even I know that and I ve no experience with tarot except enjoying looking at the pretty cards. I can't believe someone could not know that , it only makes sense if they've never heard of tarot at all. @@qwinlyn

[@briefisbest]

Never put it past an author with poor writing skills to have a good taste in music. Hozier, Florence + The Machine, and Evanescence didnt deserve this. 🐦‍⬛

[@alexv3372]

Isn’t take me to church a metaphor for homosexuality in church

[@losj3020]

@@alexv3372 um ackchually 🤓 yeah well yes but actually no. Generally speaking it's about the people marginalized by the church and religious institution overall. So queer people included. He did a Genius interview explaining it and if you wanna know more I recommend giving it a watch. He highlighted some important issues there

[@alexv3372]

Oooh ok ok

[@DelilahDarling17]

Don't forget that cover of "Paint it Black." I've loved that cover for years, and this is how it gets treated by the author? 😭

[@mesocylon]

Poe needs to haunt this author specifically.

[@kbird6208]

That would make a better book. Author writes crappy dark romance, gets haunted by Poe

[@3belowFan]

Edgar Allan Poe is better than THAT 😭

[@DiehardMechWarrior]

The fact that Evanescence is on the “mood setting” playlist is a crime against humanity. What did Evanescence do to deserve this?! Lana Del Rey deserves to be here, surely, but Evanescence?! That’s just wrong!

[@rebeccamcmanus4718]

At this point, I don't think you're legally allowed to participate in the Teacher Crush genre without getting Lana Del Rey involved in some fashion.

[@HavingFunISKEY]

As a top Evanescence fan who's putting them in my playlist for a much more fitting novel, I second this notion

[@SpaceandGoats]

This should've been called My Immortal

[@DiehardMechWarrior]

@@SpaceandGoats That’s even worse, because My Immortal is at least bad ON PURPOSE!

[@FIRING_BLIND]

​@@DiehardMechWarriorthat's debatable

[@hoo7797]

"He smells good" "He's smoking a cigarette" not only does it have plot holes, it has description holes too💀💀💀 EDIT Can't find a black bird emoji but there's a swan 🦢

[@EliseArainai]

Yeah sorry, cigarettes stink. At least pipe smoke can smell rather nice (my hubby pipe smokes sometimes)

[@alexv3372]

What does pipe smoke smell like anyways

[@EliseArainai]

@@alexv3372 it depends, really: there’s all kinds of pipe tobacco mixes. I know one of my husband’s favorites is a hazelnut blend, and he likes an apple cobbler mix during the fall. Basically it’s like a pleasantly smokey version of whatever scent they’re going for

[@alexv3372]

Ooh what about vapes?

[@EliseArainai]

@@alexv3372 from my experience, vape smoke, or vapor I guess, smells either exactly like the flavor they’re going for, or the scent is stronger than usual like it’s a flavor of candy or something. Still smells better than cigarette smoke, imo

[@Set666Abominae]

Why do I get the impression that this… “book”… was originally drafted to take place in a high school, but someone with a lick of sense had to pull the author back from that particular abyss to at least make things legal (if not still exceedingly creepy).

[@absinthemindedartist]

This!

[@brookiie]

it feels like based on the school’s rules this was supposed to be a boarding school/highschool environment but then they couldn’t do the teacher/student relationship they wanted

[@bunnyellabell]

i was thinking similarly to other comments that this was a knockoff hogwarts since it has fanfic vibes

[@Heather_Duke]

@@bunnyellabell I could definitely see it being knockoff Hogwarts. I mean, as someone who read Harry Potter fic as a teen, shipping Hermione with professors was rather popular, unfortunately. Same with Harry (specifically with Snape). Like.. I could see Vad being based off of Tom Riddle with the whole group home/orphanage situation.

[@flowerbloom5782]

Yeah

[@wanderingspark]

"I'm a mad pirate, and if I land on your shores I will plunder and take away everything." That's the sort of line I expect to hear from a drunk guy trying to pick someone up at a bar, not from a teacher telling his student to back off. How Tor has fallen. Pretty sad for a company that has published books like Kushiel's Dart and The Wheel of Time series.🐦⬛

[@flowerbloom5782]

I mean if they can accept this then it’s great for new skilled writers to get in.

[@Bishopfish]

I screamed out loud when I got the notification for this video. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this for YEARS. As a doctoral student I’m gonna cash in my right to be annoying with this one: Man-not-boy’s thesis is way too fucking broad and general to fly at any university, let alone an elite one like this place is supposed to be. What KIND of literature? What kind of music? What language(s)? Where’s the geographic and temporal location? This is why dark academia stuff drives me nuts!!!!

[@kbird6208]

My thoughts exactly on the thesis. It should be something like "the influence of early baroque harpsichord music on 18th century French epistolary novels" or something equally niche.

[@Bishopfish]

@@kbird6208 Exactly!! And it would totally work with the vibe of the story - weird academics studying niche things at a creepy place. You could even turn it into a plot point or something, like, maybe have some kind of clue related to it that Corvina has to figure out? There’s so many opportunities for weird intrigue at creepy old universities and this author chose the worst possible one. :^(

[@prenzea]

do you think she gave Corvina purple eyes because of the old "Alexandria's Genesis" meme on tumblr? where people have purple eyes and are basically perfect?

[@bunnyellabell]

god i love tumblr lore

[@amandapanda5087]

That just took me back

[@alexv3372]

Let me tell you I’ve never been on that side of tumble before but it is insane

[@Yarkoonian]

Lmao I remember hearing that about purple eyed women back then, like as word of mouth. It was leaking out for sure

[@alexv3372]

Tumblr lore is insane

[@Goblinatrix]

Corvina Clemm... I just know the author poured themselves a glass of wine after coming up with that name and was like: "Yes. Very gothic of me, very Edgar Allen Poe." Virginia Clemm was Poe's wife. And his cousin, if I remember correctly.

[@scipulchre]

Personally offended at the addition of “Achilles Come Down” but also seemingly no “Don’t Stand So Close to Me”???? I’m 4 minutes into this review and I’m upset

[@lurkingintheforest]

I don’t even get why “Achilles come down” is even in the playlist, then again I also don’t get why “take me to church” is in there either. But I’m not going to lie, I actually like that dark paradise song and I used to rock to evanescence when I was younger.😭 I still think the songs are bangers even if they can be a little cringey.

[@rainydayjules]

Let’s be real the only reason Achilles come down is on the playlist is because it got big on tiktok lol

[@alexv3372]

The only time “Achilles come down” should be present is when a book is based off Greek mythology and it has to be good

[@theflickchick9850]

"Don't Stand" is one of my favourite Police songs and the whole POINT is that it's gross and not okay. Same with "Every Breath". Wtf is this list?!

[@alexv3372]

What is “don’t stand” about anyway?

[@tarakennedy2512]

My Dark Vanessa is a great book about a student/teacher relationship and the trauma and confusion and anxiety that revolved it for YEARS. If this was anything like that, maybe it would have been better. This is…not that.

[@jojogodtier]

The real crime is making it 15 bucks on kindle 💀

[@nadiaclinkscales8637]

The look of disappointment and irritation on your face after reading the line “ ‘My mother is Schizophrenic’ she said and he touched her thighs” is absolutely sending me into the stratosphere!

[@shamedgeeky]

Do they reference Poe in these stories because he married his 13yo cousin?

[@carolynnisbet4825]

Yet another dark academia book with a main character called Corvina as reference to corvids... even though corvina is a type of fish 😅

[@randompromises1038]

RWBY had references to crows less stupid than this

[@morbidhime]

​@@randompromises1038RWBY's writing is like LoTR tier compared to this and that's saying something.

[@astrothsknot]

I love how the author isn't even bothering with a proper-looking pen name, just using their fandom name. 10.10, feed the crows, tuppence a bag.

[@amandapanda5087]

I'm genuinely curious whether they have a Wattpad/AO3 account with the username RuNyx.

[@astrothsknot]

@@amandapanda5087 given itwas self pub'd you know it some snape/hermione fic that seen the business end of a file

[@ghoul4692]

No one can convince me that this wasn't originally a Snape x Hermione fanfic akin to My Immortal

[@Island_vampire]

That was my first impression as well.

[@randomthoughts0829]

When i read this book and sent passages to my friends, they threatened to block me because of how bad it is. I wouldnt have blamed them

[@alexv3372]

As a joke right?

[@KylaTea]

I just remember the AI cover controversy and got to see it up close in target. It’s so bad. Also folks don’t know dark academia can actually include criticism of academia not just the taboo nature of older man/young woman.

[@flowerbloom5782]

Yeah I could tell it was ai.

[@cervanera2228]

I want you all to know that Corvina is the name of Raven from Teen Titans (the cartoon) in the italian version, so unfortunately part of my brain can't stop picturing her every time I hear the name...

[@kaydwessie296]

Two things 1. My Immortal did more for gothic academia than this ever will 2. The way they describe sex is how I do. And I hate PIV sex. Someone needs therapy.

[@asteridshydrangea-jt2hf]

I kind of want to one day write a student who has a harmless ‘practice’ crush on a zany elderly Albert Einstein looking professor. Then they go on adventures and she gets her degree and actually falls in love with an inter dimensional pirate or something. Like a lot of the time when girls/young women get crushes on authority figures it’s partly BECAUSE they’re a ‘safe’ inaccessible figure that’s admired and trusted. If the adult is morally bankrupt enough to take advantage of it often it crumples and twists real quick, it’s just that the manipulation has started and the internal voice says ‘you wanted this…didn’t you?’ These books make me tired sometimes. Setting aside the obsession with an immature female lead, setting aside the outre/Not Safe For Standard Society premise, they’re so queasily badly executed. I tried to read a vampire hunter x vampire dark romance story and the vampire hunter STILL had to be written as comically inept uwu barely legal self insert. I wasn’t even asking for quality or good taste, depression has my standards bottom of the barrel, I just wanted even a spark of imagination or energy. Cinema gets Tarantino, why can’t dark romance get something batshit self indulgent similar, that has even a spark of excitement instead of feeble milquetoast slop so obsessed with simpering over their misogynist love interest they don’t even embrace being dark.

[@pikapower_kirby]

Wait, that's such a cute idea though. But crushing on an older professor without it becoming anything isn't "sexy enough" or whatever (yuck). I'd love to see a story with a student crushing on a teacher that leads to a healthy relationship in a platonic/mentor sense. I mean, who doesn't love good fluffy stories? I certainly do!

[@NazoPureChaos]

Sooo... Doctor Who, then?

[@happyjellycatsquid]

Preach.

[@spaghetto9836]

**Standing ovation, ovates while standing up**

[@supaflycoolguy]

I love this idea, it'd be a cute read

[@ShinyPrimarina]

I'm only part way into the video but the weird restrictive rules for a College just screams "this was suppose to be a boarding school and the MC was suppose to be underage but I don't want people to think it's creepy" (it still is)

[@audie3600]

My revamp of the book: Teacher becomes a biology/chemistry teacher who is weirdly obsessed with the human body and turns out he’s a vampire who is hunting the students to feed on and that explains the disappearances. Then Corvina comes along and he decides to take her on as an apprentice because she’s oh so quirky and turns her into a vampire. Except sike, she goes feral and kills him and then lives in the walls of the creepy college and the mystery and horrors continues. The end.

[@DisWriter]

And the crows help her solve a murder.

[@seanboggs215]

Write it NOW!!

[@tyler-df3wy]

I’m listening to this with one headphone in so in one ear I’ve got my cat grooming herself and in the other ear I’ve got a teacher grooming his student

[@bunnyellabell]

awesome comment

[@flowerbloom5782]

Lmao 💀

[@castlextown]

Take a shot every time the character is described in the cadence of "My name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (thats how I got my name)"

[@castlextown]

Had to stop listening for a second and came back and now I'm trying to understand (as someone who is a huge fan of both Hozier and Evanescence) how this book lands itself in the middle of their venn diagram. That's like saying this book is a cross between the Notre Dame or other Victorian architecture and American Gothic. Tell me this author does not understand the subgenres within the gothic genre without telling me the author does not understand the subgenres within the gothic genre. At least go for Hozier's In A Week instead of Take Me To Church

[@saint-juste]

The more I hear about books like this the more I worry about straight women.

[@floreya67]

Same, as a lesbian I'm just confused.

[@EliseArainai]

@@floreya67ditto, speaking as a pan woman

[@mikaelastojanoski4911]

as a bi woman, you're so real for that 😵‍💫

[@gingerbreadandtea]

As a straight woman, I don't have a clue what's wrong with these authors.

[@alexv3372]

Are the straights ok? No they are not ok

[@TBCaine]

wait TOR published this??? AND they used AI work??? oh woah they have fallen far

[@bmlgordon]

I am deeply sad about that, as Tor has always been my dream acceptance.

[@TBCaine]

@@bmlgordon honestly same but after this… I might be rethinking it

[@DisWriter]

Yeah, it seems odd.

[@KerriB]

I'm living for the Hozier and Evanescence vibes, but this story gives me the ick. I was writing cringy-as-hell stories with purple-eyed characters at 14, but it was never this horrible, thank god. The characters never felt attracted to their teachers, older guys sure, but never their teachers Jealous of your 100-year-old Edgar Allan Poe book ❤

[@mikankitsune0440]

Same! I found a complete work of Poe in a thrift shop back in 2008. It was printed in 1927 and has a fabric cover. It also was part of a set of other classic works. I got them for $25. 😅 teenage me was stoked.

[@Kasterwill]

My partner works Sunday nights and my ADHD brain can't cope with the boredom....and in swoops a Rachel rant about another awful book. The world isn't worthy

[@bridget7539]

I used to teach secondary school and while I can understand teens having unfortunate crushes on teachers (hormones are crazy, limited number of people they encounter, etc) I cannot for the life of me understand the teacher in this fantasy. After dismissal the LAST thing I wanted to do was spend more time with those kids. I wanted to talk to an adult with a car note and a mortgage and an opinion on the economy and who would understand my references to The Noid

[@tyler-df3wy]

Violet eyes? But Enoby’s eyes are blue like limpet tears smh my head

[@valerielevasseur8674]

I am irrationally angry at the title of English Groomer's dissertation. "The correlation and effect?" My precious tiny ABD (all but dissertation), if you're arguing an effect of one on the other - causation - you'd better hope the data show correlation in one direction or another! Long story short, it's not even the title of a stupid project, it's a title that makes no sense.

[@LorewithouttheE]

yeah that part really sounded to me like the author was trying to use "smart words" 😅

[@magnoliora]

What gets me is that there are actually some masterpieces on ao3- smut or no, even amazing pieces of writing that are basically just (very well-written) smut with no plot at all. But if I saw this on ao3? I would probably quit reading and go back to scrolling for something better 😂

[@alexv3372]

Especially Danny phantom

[@ruendheart]

⁠@@alexv3372I think Alex loves Danny phantom

[@alexv3372]

Well.. ya got me there

[@alexv3372]

Wait… how did ya know detective?

[@phoniex_a9096]

This is why I prefer fanfics

[@MyBlackPumpkinSoup]

As a brazilian, a long time fan and a professionally native Portuguese speaker, I can't BEGIN TO STREEEESSS how you speaking my language made me happy! Thank you so much 🥰

[@CommanderDarcy]

Nossa sim eu fico tão animadinho toda vez q ela fala português nos vídeos

[@MyBlackPumpkinSoup]

@@CommanderDarcy É muito fofo, né? Ela é incrível!

[@CommanderDarcy]

@@MyBlackPumpkinSoup siiiiim, uma graça! Ela é uma graça 🤭

[@aaaacarolina]

uma coisa q eu amo no brasileiro é q a gente vê algo nosso e já fica super animado, é um sentimento nacional

[@MyBlackPumpkinSoup]

@@aaaacarolina Nosso patriotismo é diferente 🤣

[@toxicdemon5426]

i shuttered so hard at the sex scene that i accidentally hurt myself, that's how bad this is

[@alexv3372]

I got goosebump and felt the anxiety over my veins whenever I read Frankenstein and this book just gave it more 2x the power

[@3belowFan]

​@@alexv3372That's diferent! Frankenstein is a good book

[@g0ry_gh0stie_gutz]

Dark romance authors can’t leave Evanescence alone 💀

[@phoniex_a9096]

Pretty much

[@itisi-dq2vo]

so happy for ebony dark'ness dementia raven way for getting into college

[@cheynneaguilar1794]

Everytime I see the book at target I just have to stare at it for a minute and just sigh at the fact this…dark teacher student romance somehow got so popular it is now in target….like whenever I feel like I could never fully publish a book I just remember these books exist.

[@flowerbloom5782]

I wish it wasn’t. I bought it cause I thought read the synopsis. I knew it wasn’t going to be amazing but god

[@darcim8737]

losing it over painted black being on the play list, i know its a cover version and meanings change wih context and all, but that song is commonly interpreted as being about the experiences of PTSD in war vets (mostly in the context of the vietnam war). insane song choice

[@alexv3372]

Damm bro that’s crazy

[@captainbaekho]

my immortal... if tara took herself more seriously, and wasn't a teenager and never improved her craft. this is fucking sad. people really would destroy trees and waste money in badly written bad harry potter fanfiction in the year 2021... insane 😭

[@katanabluebird]

The Book Leo said a basic google search uncovers Corvina as a boney fish and enjoy reading this book with a girl named after a carp.

[@Brenna_elora]

My name, Brenna, means little raven. Corvina technically means like a raven. I never knew I’d be grateful to not hear my name in a book.

[@crizmeow8394]

Corvina is the name of a fish haha

[@AlexMartinez-nn2cm]

i feel like this book is just the booktok dark romance-ification of ebony dark'ness dementia raven way

[@amandapanda5087]

Same

[@joluna6664]

Do not drag my girl Ebony into this, she has done nothing to deserve such disrespect.

[@demitwice]

the way you wrote "terminei gothikana horrivel" felt so brazilian lol your portuguese is getting so good!!

[@iwantmybed3090]

4:16 i literally said ‘dont bring andrew into this’ when i saw hozier on the playlist, glad to see you stand up for our boy

[@howdyitsren]

5:46 if you don’t have a phd you’re not a professor, you’re an instructor. at most he would have a teaching fellowship, but that’s not a professorship. if he’s writing a thesis and not a dissertation he doesn’t even have a masters yet and in no world would be an instructor. i don’t like romanticizing academia but good god at least do a basic google search before you set your book in a university. edit to add that “thesis” is the topic of an undergrad research paper. why not study musical interpretations of the works of poe? a nice blend of english and musicology and very on theme. or the author could look up dissertations for free on proquest to get an idea of the scope usually taken for doctoral studies.

[@justcallmeivonne]

Not necessarily. I’m a doctoral student and an adjunct professor (official title from school). But definitely annoyed when people call dissertations a thesis because those are very different things with very different requirements, especially in fictional books. Like you said, just google what doctoral students have to do to get their degree 😂😂

[@howdyitsren]

@@justcallmeivonneinteresting! it’s a very strict division at my university.

[@DizzyCat-iv6cb]

I don't know about other countries, but in Australia PhD students submit a thesis. I just submitted mine in February.

[@justcallmeivonne]

@@howdyitsren so interesting! I guess it depends on the school!

[@justcallmeivonne]

@@DizzyCat-iv6cb That's right! I follow a couple of PhD students outside of the US and I think they called what is a dissertation in the US as a thesis! Thank you for sharing!

[@lettucetheleafwing]

It's like if My Immortal and Wednesday had a mutant child that they left in a local Goodwill which was picked up by this author

[@Mana_Ski]

Him: "This is our madness" Me: "This is sparta!"

[@Maria-7z1u6]

This reads like a Wednesday fanfic. There’s even a character named Ajax in the show iirc. (Edit) Just realised that the Roy Kingston character is very similar to Bianca from Wednesday (Also a POC character)

[@ryanmalone8563]

the most unrealistic thing in this book is that an adult black woman would see a mysterious fire in the middle of the woods at night and not immediately sprint in the opposite direction

[@rengamesitout]

If this shit can get published, I should probably publish my damn books...

[@aaron_99887]

i hate when serious topics like suicide are just brushed over in books and not really given the attention it deserves. suicide isn’t a joke and it shouldn’t be moved past quickly. the topic should get addressed accordingly

[@matrixiekitty2127]

Yikes this is so unsexy😭 like how did the writer manage to describe s*x in ways that sound so painful??

[@Rainheart95]

Not the playlist right off the bat 😂 "bring me to life" is giving 2000s emo girl, racoon tail hair, cringey MySpace. I can't wait to see where this book goes if this is the vibe.

[@floreya67]

I was one of the cringy 2000s emo girls, but goddamn this is so bad. I grew up, this writer obviously didn't.

[@JuliaElizabethGraves]

4:24 personally I cannot get over within temptation being there. Why. The symphonic metal fandom is going on a murder spree right now

[@qwinlyn]

Within Temptation used to be recommended to anyone going into the metal scene as “better Evanescence” so that might be why that cross over happened.

[@wolflover306]

PUTTING WITHIN TEMTPATION TO THE LIST IS AN INSULT. 😭😭😡

[@floreya67]

Yeah please leave us out of this lmao

[@JuliaElizabethGraves]

@@qwinlyn that is an absolutely insane take. I’ve heard „budget Nightwish” but I’m just not sure how WT is similar to evanescence except for having fem vocals haha (they’re both good bands but cmon. Completely different vibe and instrumentals)

[@catorrina]

The entire time you were describing Corvina I was having flashbacks to middle school and all the DeviantArt journals my friends wrote at the time thinking they were edgy.

[@LuLiLapis]

Just wanna mention that Vad means "what" in Swedish, and I think the creepy love interest being named that is pretty funny.

[@lutchien]

I need a book where the main character is someone who is observing these two idiots while trying to solve the mystery on their own

[@alexv3372]

“Why do these bitches get together… they’re literally student and teacher”

[@DrTansy]

It really pissed me off that *this* was the first book I’ve purchased in years. Literally, I’ve checked out and read 100s of library books and I bought this crap. It was the stupid purple sprayed edges! I still can’t believe a major publisher put this out, apparently unedited. It’s shameful; I expect a certain level of quality if I’m buying a Tor imprint. I knew I was in trouble when the interior images were credited to Shutterstock. Ugh. Great review Rachel!

[@noodlefloozy]

Oh my goshhhh I saw the book in Barnes & Noble and it was soooo pretty but the hardcover was also $30 and when I read the jacket I was unsure of it. Got it on Kindle instead and I'm SO happy I didn't waste that much money on it 😭 I read the whole thing out of spite but I was highlighting bits and sending quotes to my friends, who did NOT appreciate it, which made it more fun😂