Really Stupid Cryptids

[@ordisraru]

My favourite stupid cryptid has to be the "Dip", a vampire dog with one leg shorter than the other three.

[@robokill387]

What about the wild haggis, a living haggis covered in fur with the legs on one side shorter than the other so it can only walk on slopes in one direction

[@eastdakota6954]

someone really saw a slightly fucked up dog and went "oh my god, a vampire"

[@fart63]

That’s not stupid that’s incredible

[@ordisraru]

@@fart63 The concept, yes, it's amazing. It's the leg thing that I find kinda stupid, ya know? Also they gave name to a town here: Pratdip (Field of Dips)

[@cattrickie]

hey that's just my neighbor's pug steve

[@fallout_flame]

I like to believe that at least one Spring-heeled Jack was just an affair that was almost caught.

[@eyywannn8601]

The first thing I thought of

[@maxttk97]

🤣🤣🤣👌good one.

[@starblade8719]

That’s what I immediately thought

[@brianmurphy250]

Just a steam punk Iron Man.

[@Hwje1111]

Spring Heeled Jack is essentially a bootleg 19th century British batman

[@musicsheep9816]

My favorite dumb cryptid is this "ghost cow" from some backwater town. It turned out to be a real cow wandering around, but that means that people saw a cow and instead of going "Weird, there's a cow wandering around town," people instead jumped to "IT'S A GHOST COW. IT HAS COME TO HAUNT US"

[@flyingstonemon3564]

THis one's too funny, I just can't, like there really was people thinking a random lost cow was a ghost? lol did the cow have some defect or scar or something

[@sephikong8323]

@@flyingstonemon3564 It's defect was being lost

[@SpukiTheLoveKitten75]

Sounds like a bunch of folks so mind-bendingly bored that they decided to make a lost bit of livestock into something exciting.

[@elsuperfish]

That story is much more interesting than you make it out to be. The cow was so good at avoiding people that it took them 30 years to find it. Like what the hell, that deserves props.

[@SpukiTheLoveKitten75]

@@elsuperfish That explains it! That's some cow! Props to her awesome hiding skills.

[@EdmundKempersDartboard]

Hoop snake really is kinda scary. Imagine being chased by a cobra rolling after you like a wagon wheel.

[@tenfountain2482]

Not like it can do anything... its literally just rolling at me at moc 5

[@bananaowner_real]

@@tenfountain2482 yeah if it’s shaped like a circle it can’t bite

[@lasercraft32]

@@bananaowner_real Just cause it goes into a wheel shape when traveling doesn't mean it can't unlink itself... it could roll towards you and bounce into a jumping strike! Nightmarish...

[@Flash_Git]

bro id pick it up and do Hula Hoops xD

[@lasercraft32]

@@Flash_Git No that's just asking it to get ya!

[@RisingSunfish]

Spring-Heeled Jack is basically the same M.O. as the Killer Clown Scare of '16. Humans never really change, I guess.

[@RipOffProductionsLLC]

Spring-Heeled Jack was at least contained to a specific place for a limited time, and thus believably could have been a real man at first, plus potential copy-cats once the stories started circulating. Sure the reports might have been exagerated, and later made up, but the seeds of the concept likely do lay at the feet of some athledic malcontent.

[@geneticallyengineeredcatgirl]

What is this "m.o" I'm supposed to understand

[@persomiissleepy]

Hoop Snake sounds like the best made up creature ever conjured by a lumberjack.

[@Necroskull388]

There are even better critters in American folklore, I highly recommend you look into them. The Squonch is s particularly fun one.

[@thalazar8372]

Funny enough its an enemy in osrs in an area where you cut trees

[@pecosnick45]

Lets be real, a snake that curls into a hoop to role away from danger isnt that far fetched. Especially when trying to sell it to people living in the backwoods without education or having seen the world.

[@the_royal_frick634]

Oh i thought he said poop snake, cuz if it looped into its mouth it would have to eat its poop

[@thalazar8372]

@@the_royal_frick634 it actually grabs the side of the end of its tall where it has its stinger what has poison

[@lagilad9984]

Honestly I think the staticky microphone, and the constant use of stock images with watermarks adds to the whole cheap museum schtick. I love it.

[@noname-kx4cu]

I love it too.

[@graciliraptor3990]

Excuse *you* its an emporium!

[@15PaperSpearsProtectTheWise]

Also the background music using FL Keys

[@alexandrexavier3273]

I like to imagine it as a drunk old men explaining history in a dark alley while i try to piss in peace

[@jrhino3148]

@@alexandrexavier3273 lol fr

[@CrowWife]

Imagine seeing a Leopard and just being like 'Ah yes, a bastard"

[@seraphinaaizen6278]

It's not actually accurate. The pard wasn't a mytholical, fantasy creature; it was a leopard. The confusion comes from the fact that the Ancient Greek word for cheetah was 'leopardus'. And it was the CHEETAH that was believed to be the hybrid. The Greeks thought that Cheetahs were the result of breeding between a leopard and a lion, thus 'leo' - lion and 'pardus' - leopard. It wasn't until the 13th century that Europeans who had never seen the leopard before read about the pardus and reimagined it into a monster. They did the same thing for Behemoth (and elephant), leviathan (a crocodile) and the unicorn (a rhino). But the original Greeks who wrote about these animals knew exactly what they were and didn't consider them to be magical; they were just wrong about the cheetah being a hybrid, which it isn't.

[@CrowWife]

@@seraphinaaizen6278 Not sure why you're replying to *me* with this but thanks for the info, it makes much more sense

[@Ivytheherbert]

@@seraphinaaizen6278 I can add to that! Cheetahs are surprisingly easy to domesticate, but extremely difficult to breed in captivity, and classical civilisations like Egypt are known to have domesticated them as royal pets. It's actually not that dumb that they would think cheetahs are sterile, because they most likely repeatedly tried to get them to reproduce only for them to just meow and go to sleep. From there the obvious conclusion is that cheetahs aren't a separate species, but rather a sterile hybrid of two other species, and leopards and lions would have been the obvious candidates.

[@Soymilkcakes]

😭😭

[@davidec.4021]

Made me laugh out loud ffs

[@lauriepenner350]

I saw an ancient mural in Japan that had lions and leopards chilling out together. This is because they believed lions and leopards were really the same species. It's not so crazy if you've only seen house cats, which come in all different colors. In 1962, a Japanese zoo would breed the first leopon, an actual leopard-lion hybrid.

[@jackdaw634]

I recently read about the axe-handle hound, being another "fearsome critter"; a hound with an axe-like body shape that eats the handles of any axes left unobserved.

[@ZinTyPhoon]

Imagine seeing a leopard, and your first thought is "Oi, this thing can't possibly be its own species, it's got to be half lion half god-cat."

[@treedude4246]

I mean there are many examples of this throughout history The questing beast of arthurian legend is an account of a girrafe

[@C.V317]

@@treedude4246 the okapi is a bit of an emblem for cryptozoology groups; no one believed it existed until living specimens were brought to Europe.

[@swampdonkey1567]

@@treedude4246 I don't believe in giraffes yes I "seen" them I IRL but this clearly some kind of vodou shit. Ocaums razor

[@syweb2]

@@swampdonkey1567 This is the opposite of Occam's razor.

[@bosknight7837]

@@treedude4246 ngl if I was some knight 1000 years ago and someone told me a spotted horse with a neck tall enough to look over my castle’s walls was real I’d call it mythical too

[@laranjaghirga5058]

Jack the Ripper : Who are you? Spring Heeled Jack : Im you but cheaper.

[@gagne6928]

Isnt that an Oblivion npc

[@tastyunicornfarts]

Mothman: Who are you? Spring Heeled Jack: I'm your cheap british cousin.

[@sithis36]

Funny thing about spring Hill Jack, I watched a video explaining him and his description sounds a lot more like Darth Vader. The description of the fire that doesn't burn The people described him having actually sounds a lot like lights which were invented at the time. His whole thing is really interesting and definitely worth looking into

[@forickgrimaldus8301]

I wouldn't be surprised if its Batman his plot armor alone is a Cryptid in itself.

[@pallydan893]

@@tastyunicornfarts actually mothman's English counterpart is owlman, no not the character from Watchmen.

[@dominicmanester8125]

Weirdly, the octopus is probably the most believable, if highly unlikely, of the lot. While landlocked today, that state would have been what was once an interior seaway that split North America in two. A group of proto-octopus could have gotten stranded in particularly deep saltwater lakes and adapted as the water salinity changed more slowly over time. Probably not but it's an interesting idea.

[@Spoonwranglerz]

spring heeled jack is the most believable.

[@MegaBIGJOE64]

Absolutely possible, bull sharks can visit fresh waters. A living creature will always try to adapt to his environment. We have fish with lungs, fish walking, fish flying, etc... why not a fresh water Squidly Didly !?

[@Jason918114]

I'm from Oklahoma, you are correct we used to be a shallow sea during the Cretaceus period but that was 100 million years ago. The vast majority of fossils we find here are trilobites and boring-ass crinoid stems. All I know is, if I was an octopus I sure as hell wouldn't want to be snapping turtle bait in some muddy Oklahoma lake.

[@Gloomdrake]

@@Spoonwranglerz he's just man who has really strong legs. Learn from spring heeled jack and take up leg day

[@cassiec9783]

Fun fact we have no natural lakes in Oklahoma, they're all man made

[@justdirt]

Sping heeled Jack is a great example of details being lost like in a game of telephone. A woman gets attacked by a weird dude in a goofy outfit. The women says a guy in weird outfit hit her and jumped over a fence to get away, dropping his latern and starting a fire. Man is funny clothes attacked girl, created fire and jumped over a tall fence. This gets repeated from word to mouth, and suddenly, the man had red eyes, and he could breathe blue fire and the fence he jumped was actually 9 feet

[@mediumfast]

Actually the Pard is literally just a leopard. The myth is that cheetahs are the offspring of lions and pards. Pard is just an arcadic short for leopard. There was some mysticism about them but that was true of pretty much every animal in Africa since people writing about them hadn't actually ever encountered them. Edit: I found what you were talking about and I think that Atlas obscura was confused by the word lepardos when they were doing their research. Leopardos means cheetah in Greek not leopard. It's actually the combination of Leo from lion and pardos meaning leopard.

[@Crowelephant]

It's crazy that the guy never acknowledged what you said, so I'm doing it for him. Thank you. You are a friend to Knowledge 💯😁

[@Chameleon1616]

You surely can’t miss the mountain whale thing which holds on to the top of a mountain with its tail and then slides down to eat American frontiersmen. No clue how it even gets back up the mountain.

[@userequaltoNull]

There's a different name for that.

[@Crazylom]

Dont care, this is glorious

[@JohnShepherd117]

@@userequaltoNull what’s its name?

[@elvingearmasterirma7241]

@@JohnShepherd117 An avalanche

[@frostceratosaurus4276]

@@elvingearmasterirma7241 oh my god lmao

[@kekero540]

I have never laughed as hard in my life than at the prospect of a *hoop snake*

[@Necroskull388]

Colonial lumberjacks had a uniquely wonderful sense of humor

[@captainCaybrew]

The goofus is funnier to me

[@bridgidthepirateelf4135]

@@Necroskull388 if it makes you feel any better, lumberjacks still make up creatures like this

[@geekdivaherself]

Nice bunnies. I like the one that's just hiding, using the other bun as a decoy to deflect aggro.

[@derpyaxolotl7683]

It's just ouroboros but renamed a cryptid

[@dericktcg8018]

Me trying to explain to the skinwalker following me into the woods that he’s not real and needs to stop speaking to me in my mothers voice

[@sickdog3861]

Bro that’s absolutely just awful

[@OmgKeith]

Relatable asf

[@heromedley]

man i hate when they do that

[@aubreyackermann8432]

Ikr! I hate it when they hide under my car. One minute I'm ready to play with a cat, the next it's just Dave the supernatural asshole.

[@Saltiumine]

Or better yet when you just want fucking come home and sleep and you find a skinwalker chilling on the couch with espn on max eating YOUR food. Like they pay for shit around here. Who do they think they are?? #HousingForHomelessSkinWalkers2021

[@joshclark756]

Once upon a time, there was a Bigfoot named Fred who lived in a cozy cave deep in the forest. Fred loved to dance, and he would often put on a show for the other animals in the woods. One day, a group of humans stumbled upon Fred's cave and were so impressed by his dancing skills that they invited him to join their traveling dance troupe. Fred was hesitant at first, but he eventually agreed and became a star in the human world. He traveled the world, dancing on stage and even appearing in movies. But eventually, Fred grew tired of the spotlight and decided to return to his peaceful life in the forest. The humans were sad to see him go, but they knew he belonged in the wilderness with his Bigfoot family. And so, Fred returned home, where he continued to dance under the moonlight, delighting his forest friends with his graceful moves.

[@eternalvibe9083]

One of the theories on how spring heeled jack came to be was that he was a combination of mass hysteria and the industrial chemicals and smog that was around in the Victorian era. He is sometimes thought of as a monster or demon that would kill women or children. He may be silly as a cryptid now, but the reality of his myth is pretty sad.

[@zigzagzipbag6561]

The aristocratic theory of Springheeled Jack would actually make sense. Some ancestors of mine lived in England during the Victorian Era, and we have some diaries of them. One of them writes about some young noblemen being caught drunk while running around with wolfskin and a wolfmask and scaring people.

[@crowdemon_archives]

lmfao sound like a bored drunk guy

[@bridgidthepirateelf4135]

This is why I love Victorian England

[@wppb50]

Look, they didn't have Steam access, they had to make their own fun.

[@op-us2xz]

Lmao i love it

[@capuchinosofia4771]

Rolflmao please take pictures of those letters and publish/post them somewhere! Must be hilarious lol Thanks for sharing!

[@Mattisok99]

“The hoop snake, whose name is self explanatory”. No, no it isn’t, please explain

[@FlSKMASTER]

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoop_snake

[@persomiissleepy]

Hoop Snake: It's a snake...in the shape of a hoop! Hoop Snake!

[@finalfuu]

HOOP! There it is

[@TheLakabanzaichrg]

It's a basketball player who stands near the opposite hoop ready to steal all scores for himself

[@jamesmacker]

It's just Kevin Durant

[@kingjiggle4th789]

ok that section on the "pard" cracked me up way more than it probably should have

[@gvl1260]

I cried a bit during that and had to pause not to miss anything while laughing hysterically. The Parrdd.

[@bustanut5501]

@@gvl1260 Right? It just sounds like a shitpost.

[@james-m-8285]

people in the dark ages really did just make the wildest shit up instead of just like... waiting for the leopards to fuck

[@ok1025]

pard.

[@mimszanadunstedt441]

Reparded

[@eg_manifest510]

I had to write an essay about Spring-Heeled Jack, and I loved the one account where they caught somebody who fit the description to a tee, except the lady who was attacked said that Jack could breathe fire, so they went to the suspect and he was just like "idk man I don't remember ever spitting fire" so they just let him go since he didn't show and fire-breathing potential

[@meso07]

4:00 the folkrole around the goofus was most likley formed after someone witnessed some falcon hunting, since if the weather conditions are right they like to "hover" in the same spot while hunting and if the wind is strong enough they can be blow backwards looking like a bird thats flying back

[@the_force_frog2993]

I like how an animal's entire existence was rethought when someone was like "yo I just saw two leopards fuckin"

[@seraphinaaizen6278]

It's not actually accurate. The pard wasn't a mytholical, fantasy creature; it was a leopard. The confusion comes from the fact that the Ancient Greek word for cheetah was 'leopardus'. And it was the CHEETAH that was believed to be the hybrid. The Greeks thought that Cheetahs were the result of breeding between a leopard and a lion, thus 'leo' - lion and 'pardus' - leopard. It wasn't until the 13th century that Europeans who had never seen the leopard before read about the pardus and reimagined it into a monster. They did the same thing for Behemoth (and elephant), leviathan (a crocodile) and the unicorn (a rhino). But the original Greeks who wrote about these animals knew exactly what they were and didn't consider them to be magical; they were just wrong about the cheetah being a hybrid, which it isn't.

[@TheShinyFeraligatr]

@@seraphinaaizen6278 There's also the infamous example of the Questing Beast, a mythological beast described in Arthurian lore and some other lore of its era. And with a neck like a long snake, hooved feet like deer (or like Satan himself!), and the ferocity and spots of a leopard, you can imagine such a beast is a terrifying, horrible monster! Or, you know, a giraffe. Literally just a giraffe.

[@Chadmiral]

Lmao

[@kyoku1982]

You mentioned the "hide behind" but you forgot another very common cryptid the "out of focus".

[@andhieyusuf7008]

and the ever mainstay "Chinese $2 dashcam"

[@Gabrong]

I am surprised that you guys don't know the flat-man. There he is! Where?! There! I can't see him! Because he turned sideways, you can't see him now... Since he is flat? That's right.

[@Bacony_Cakes]

Don't forget, the returning champion: Decomposing Basking Shark!

[@joelcrafter43]

@@Bacony_Cakes Remind me what it was people thought they were again?

[@Bacony_Cakes]

@@joelcrafter43 Plier-Sores or something.

[@ascensionindustries9631]

I caught a fur bearing trout. Tasted like cat fish.

[@bananabrain364]

Hahahaha nice one

[@tims.1615]

...heh....

[@Patrickstar-im4qq]

Lmao

[@pissapocalypse]

Wait

[@bazpearce9993]

Good one, i really did laugh out loud.

[@weirdfish1216]

Just stumbled upon your channel but I already love it. The unserious narration and witty stock images add a lot to the experience

[@BoogSReviews]

My favorite cryptid is the Squonk. It’s so ugly that it cries all the time and leaves a trail of tears. Not scary, doesn’t hurt anyone, it’s just eternally sad because it’s so ugly.

[@BUGGY_THE_DUGGY]

Relatable cryptid

[@compatriot852]

3:45 I mean the Jackalope sightings are probably real considering that rabbits can suffer from disorders that can cause growths that look like horns sprouting out of the head

[@peskymacaw9033]

Yup, Shope papilloma virus. Really ugly tumors.

[@haka-katyt7439]

@@peskymacaw9033 of course they aren't antlers but if you saw a rabbit with that from afar you could mistake something with it

[@compatriot852]

@@haka-katyt7439 it's kinda like narwhals. They don't have horns, but they do have an extremely deformed canine tooth that looks like a horn.

[@frownyclowny6955]

Yeah but can’t other animals (notably humans) suffer the same rare horn deformity?

[@BierBart12]

@@frownyclowny6955 Yeah, and it probably caused a horrible outrage and killing of innocents in the christian world of old

[@PutRandomNameHere]

As an Oklahoman, thank you for bringing light to how freaking stupid our state's cryptid is.

[@cattrickie]

hey at least your's is a myth, we have florida man and he's VERY real

[@roma8855]

All the culture we have from the tribes and the only thing we can come up with is a Kraken rip off 😭💀 I'm so pissed

[@18Hongo]

@@roma8855 It's Oklahoma; literally everything there is just a bad ripoff done bigger than expected. Even the racism is just Alabama with a bit of the London blitz thrown in for good measure.

[@18Hongo]

There's like a 30% chance that Bob Gymlan is making a video on the Oklahoma Octopus right now where he explains why a photoshopped picture and a couple of stoned teenagers mean it absolutely exists.

[@leopardlillyirisdomestica7213]

@@cattrickie Average Man In Florida 💀

[@miiilowo]

i wish all of these were real just because i think itd be funny. like imagine youre some hardened pirate sailing uncharted ocean territory and you look to the seas and see a monkey attached to a fish and you have to break the news to people that thats what mermaids actually are. effervescent id also like to note lemon demon has a song about the spring heeled jack. i never realized what he was talking about and this has led me to realize i have zero auditory processing abilities whatsoever

[@cicadeus7741]

Saw a mermaid today Effervescent

[@caucasoidape8838]

In the stories, don't sailors lust over these mermaids? lol It's pretty sad that desperation, and alcohol could make a manatee look hot.

[@Gabrong]

@@caucasoidape8838 I mean... My ex gf kinda had a body of a manatee :D

[@Foogi9000]

@@caucasoidape8838 Being stuck on a boat with a bunch of other pent up and sexually frustrated men will do that.

[@killertofu586]

@@caucasoidape8838 Back in those days, women were preferred to have a good bit of thick to their body lol so manatees would look great to drunken horny sailors

[@TheNightWatcher1385]

Didn’t expect the Oklahoma Octopus to be mentioned. Thought it was a rather niche bit of local folklore around here. Even most Okies haven’t heard of it, in my experience.

[@RipOffProductionsLLC]

It can't be that obscure, Lost Tapes(a found footage style "horror" TV show) had an episode featuring it.

[@TheNightWatcher1385]

@@RipOffProductionsLLC It’s definitely an actual legend but it’s just not talked about here that much. I’ve lived in Oklahoma all my life and I think I’ve met one, maybe two other people who have heard of it. I’d say the more well known legends are things like the little forest people or the thunderbird.

[@SapphyTaffy]

As an Okie myself, I didn't know we had our own cryptids here.

[@randomotaku5500]

I love how the pard has two itty bitty balls hiding amongst his legs. The artist must've been thorough with the acuracy

[@youtubecensors5419]

One of my favorites is the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus.

[@Hand_of_NOD]

Good to know I'm not the only one that still remembers the Pacific Nothwest Tree Octopus.

[@seranthonybeatty4959]

I've never heard of this one and I've lived here my whole life!

[@hailghidorah2536]

@@Hand_of_NOD I read a whole website about it in 6th grade.

[@Hand_of_NOD]

@@hailghidorah2536 Same, we had the article read to the class and then we were asked if it was real or not. I thought it was real and then felt bad that it turned out to be a lie.

[@Ghastly_Derp]

@@hailghidorah2536 lol same what da hell. I think it was for April fools idk

[@Ibaneddie76]

When I was a kid I went to an old school circus with a bunch of sideshows and at the end they had this exhibit called the (Man eating Chicken), all of the walls were covered with pictures of huge menacing chickens with razor sharp talons and dagger lined beaks. We paid the obligatory $5 entry fee and entered to find what was indeed a Man eating Chicken, no it was literally a big fat man sitting on a stool shoving Kentucky Fried Chicken into his greasy pie hole! Pretty creative if you ask me!🤣

[@crowthekrow2117]

Sounds like that one scene from the movie "The Little Rascals"

[@DarkPsychoMessiah]

I ain't even mad

[@maxmccullough8548]

In the carny trade we called that the blow off.

[@geekdivaherself]

This is why you've got to know your hyphens! The lack of a hyphen there would have revealed all!

[@lauriepenner350]

Getting paid to sit around and eat fried chicken? I've finally discovered my dream job!

[@davejones9469]

I heard that dragons are an amalgamation of all the things we feared as primitive hominids, namely big cats, big lizards and birds of prey. Kinda makes sense since dragons appear separately in ancient cultures all around the world.

[@jedofaxa1147]

I like the idea but different cultures have different dragons, the ones you are describing seem to be the european type which originate from the Bible and thus is the single origin of dragons in western and eastern europe as well as north america folklore.

[@encendercolores1684]

We all probably came up with dragons because our ancestors found dinosaur bones and didn't know what they were.

[@MatthewCampbell765]

With dragons it's worth noting that the definition of "dragon" is actually kind of hard to pin down. To some extent dragons are common because the definition is pretty broad. However I'd say dragons are common in a lot of mythologies essentially because crocodiles are vaguely fearsome and therefore "cool".

[@davejones9469]

@@MatthewCampbell765 Not really. In ancient Greek "drakon" meant serpent with connotations to to sea, which turned into "draconem" in Latin meaning huge serpent or literally dragon. Just search "------ etymology" if you want to know how a word came to be.

[@crowdemon_archives]

Meanwhile, in China (and parts of Asia), dragons are depicted as flying serpentine creatures with horns, manes, and claws. Usually revered though, sometimes feared.

[@prairierailproductions6737]

I love how the old ragtime music is a reference to the fictional freak shows and museums of the late 1800s and early 1900s

[@robertcooney1938]

I seen a geese flying backwards on a super windy day. It was crazy. A whole bunch of them still somewhat in formation blowing around. Some got separated.

[@ExtremelyOnlineGuy]

Hell yeah. A worthy man to exist in Master Sam O’Nella’s absence

[@mcnuttington7122]

Eh

[@x.r.d7744]

Not really

[@ExtremelyOnlineGuy]

@@x.r.d7744 note I didn’t say replacement. Only a guy to exist. It’s a different vibe altogether but I’m still learning to the tune of a smart dude

[@buklau837]

Budget Sam O’Nella

[@ExtremelyOnlineGuy]

@@buklau837 more in the vein of trey the explainer or that guy who makes ww2 videos. Can’t remember his name mark wallen? But I did bring trey up first so you got it bro

[@peika8324]

Fish: rather than building fat, why don’t we grow fur Other fish: bro we live in the water, the fur won’t block the cold.

[@chrisdaignault9845]

Sea otter has entered chat.

[@lairdhaynes1986]

Beaver ambles in, late as usual.

[@killertofu586]

@@chrisdaignault9845 (Sea otters use fat to block the cold)

[@syweb2]

@@killertofu586 Don't they have their fur create a layer of air that keeps the water away?

[@tenfountain2482]

But have we tried?

[@Upsetdino]

I love the image of, some new young lumberjack, and all the other lumberjacks just make up cryptids on the spot, like “oh Greg didn’t you see that fuckin’ Goofus?” “Yeah man, what bout that hoop snake?!” And the young lumberjack is like “what’s a hoop snake?” And the team prattle on and on about hoop snakes, which they made up. And one day? That young lumberjack is walking through a field of tree stumps. And before him is a snake. Holding onto its tail, and blowing past like a tumbleweed. And he goes back to his pals, tells them. And none of them believe him, and laugh it off, tell him it’s fake. And this kid is just here, thinking this joke was real. And it was. Ol’ hoopsnakes tumbling past on stormy days.

[@Surya112]

I'm glad that someone finally had the courage to report the Veggie Man. His reign of terror has gone on long enough!

[@wybornebasil]

this feels like a Gravity Falls Mystery Shack ad. i love it

[@andromeda_va39]

Right?

[@realsanmer]

Glad to see Grunkle Stan is still kicking with his creations.

[@andromeda_va39]

Ayyyy a fellow Gravity Falls fan!

[@guybrush1701]

It's a rock that looks like a face! (I legit saw one of those in the wild one time. I laughed to myself.)

[@owlrym.7417]

First thing I thought about !!!

[@EnderCorePL]

"Pard" Sound like something an angry 4Chan dweller would call me as an insult

[@thundrbaze]

Silence *p a r d*

[@xzznnn845]

@@thundrbaze ikr? Pards suck

[@dagnastyodi4196]

i think they'd just give you the hard R and call it a day tbh.

[@killertofu586]

@@dagnastyodi4196 Rightfully lol

[@datadan410]

@Bvcv I vfv same.

[@Polyeurythane]

When I learned about the Loveland Frogman/Frog I was absolutely tickled pink. It’s a cryptic that is basically just a giant frog someone saw. Also it apparently had a musical written about it but sadly I couldn’t dig up much information about it

[@belial7625]

Imagine playing a Medieval RPG, accepting quests to kill various horrible legendary beasts and just ending up never finding a single one of them in game.

[@melodyofloveinblood]

I love how he uses shutterstok preview images with watermarks on it, really convey the theme of budget, love it!

[@MobyTheLion]

I like how spring heeled jack is litteraly just a dude that has magical powers. he doesn't have any interesting looks at all, I actually don't understand how you could try and call this a "cryptid"

[@michaelsayavong2656]

It’s funnier when you really think about it. The description of spring heel jack, a man dressed in all black, hangs out at night, scares people, attack them, really good at jumping, some people thought he was really a bored rich guy 6:08 That basically the same description as Batman

[@yourlocaltoad5102]

@@michaelsayavong2656 There is a recent video by Joe Scott that goes further into Spring Heeled Jack and it’s a quite interesting story: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qnaliqBpfbCIjZY

[@dashiellgillingham4579]

If the Jersey Devil is a cryptid, so is Spring-Heeled Jack.

[@thesteelsquid863]

@@dashiellgillingham4579 Usually a cryptid is categorized as an unidentified creature. If we know the spring heeled jack is a person, it's identified, boom.

[@caucasoidape8838]

@@michaelsayavong2656 It's like if Batman actually was his Bruce Wayne persona, and only dressed up to fuck with commoners.

[@girlbuu9403]

"You shouldn't believe in cryptids." Oh thank god, I almost believed in that silly kraken thing like that fool Carl Linnaeus. I sure am glad no squid exceeds a few feet in length.

[@tomvobbe9538]

Exactly. When something is unscientific that means basically it can't be reproduced in a lab. The definition of something being scientific is very strict. If something is unscientific it does not mean it is without merit or worth further investigation. All scientific discoveries we're at one point unscientific conjecture.

[@girlbuu9403]

@@tomvobbe9538 Indeed. It is unfortunate that some people disagree. I recall asking someone what they thought occurred before the big bang, what the universe was like before it. They said as there was no way of knowing there was no reason to speculate, when I know that some theories on that do exist. But because there isn't as much evidence for them as there are with the bang and no scientific consensus it apparently isn't worth wondering about? Just sad.

[@ceulgai2817]

Then you might be excited to hear about the Giant Squid! (And the Bigfin Squid) And the Colossal Squid!

[@publiusventidiusbassus1232]

Yeah, that's a pretty dumb statement. There's plenty of animals that were considered myth and have been only recently described. And there's quite a few extant scientifically-accepted animals that have been sighted less than a dozen times in history. Telling people to be skeptical is one thing, to straight up tell them "don't believe" seems uncritical.

[@MrLaz0rz]

@@girlbuu9403 'before' the big bang is a bit of a misunderstanding. Time, in either direction is a product created when expansion started, it's a property that didn't exist prior to the start of the expansion. So you could say there was an infinity without time, and a point containing the potential of all things? But that doesn't explain much.

[@GamingIndominus]

LMAO I remember reading something about a Jersey Devil hoax that was made: a person bought a kangaroo and put wings and painted green stripes on it and Let it Loose it's honestly one of the best hoaxes I have ever heard of.

[@BeccaRaptor94]

Lol yup!

[@foisopracurtir6389]

Surprised nobody got bodied

[@AshtonGarland]

That’s honestly pretty fucked up, I feel bad for the kangaroo

[@FascDS287]

The fact that you use the iPhone Sci-Fi alarm sound for transitions is perfect

[@GeoffPlays]

I read once that Corvo Attano from the Dishonored series had some loose inspiration from Spring Heeled Jack

[@ThornWolf1]

No Slide-Rock Bolter? That was one of the strangest cryptids I stumbled across. At first, the idea of a mountain-dwelling fish-whale that destroys everything in it's path seems terrifying, until you realize that it can only devour what's in front of it as it slides down the mountain side on it's own lube-drool and has to pray that it's momentum can get it up the side of the next mountain to start the process over again.

[@WildBluntHickok]

Someone else claimed this thing was the old-timey way of explaining avalanches.

[@yungo1rst]

That sounds great for a roleplay game creature for a mountain pass encounter. Just a few dozen whales doing sick grinds on the valley edge as they try to eat people.

[@Bridge_with_a_T]

​@@yungo1rstor just an extremely obscure SCP story 😂😂

[@JasonLihani]

Wow, I was into the Pard until you said "Leo-Pard" and I was like oh, that's definitely a joke. I looked it up, and nope, it's completely real. Humans are the goddamn dumbest. Anyway, I rate the museum 5 stars. The curator is like a sleazy salesman, but his exhibits are legit. Will be bringing my kids next time.

[@seraphinaaizen6278]

It's not actually accurate. The pard wasn't a mytholical, fantasy creature; it was a leopard. The confusion comes from the fact that the Ancient Greek word for cheetah was 'leopardus'. And it was the CHEETAH that was believed to be the hybrid. The Greeks thought that Cheetahs were the result of breeding between a leopard and a lion, thus 'leo' - lion and 'pardus' - leopard. It wasn't until the 13th century that Europeans who had never seen the leopard before read about the pardus and reimagined it into a monster. They did the same thing for Behemoth (and elephant), leviathan (a crocodile) and the unicorn (a rhino). But the original Greeks who wrote about these animals knew exactly what they were and didn't consider them to be magical; they were just wrong about the cheetah being a hybrid, which it isn't.

[@Michael_De_Santa-Unofficial]

@@seraphinaaizen6278 Behemoth is more like a Hippo than an Elephant.

[@michygeorg]

@@seraphinaaizen6278 I haven't read into the cheetah bit but from what I've read, pard refers to panther.

[@seraphinaaizen6278]

@@michygeorg A 'panther' isn't its own animal. The word is usually used used to describe melanistic leopards and jaguars (i.e. a 'black panther') and the Greeks were sufficiently educated that they'd be able to tell that where was no distinction between a black leopard and a leopard with normal colouration. They would never have encountered jaguars (the word is sometimes also used as a byword for a mountain lion, but the Greeks would never have seen a mountain lion either). So while it is true they may have seen a black leopard, they would not have considered it separate from a normal leopard. The pard is, once again, just a leopard.

[@soupbonep]

@@seraphinaaizen6278 Wait, what? You're telling us that our humble narrator is wrong about the pard?

[@JustClaude13]

I already knew about the fur bearing trout and the hoop snake. If you're ever attacked by a hoop snake, step to the side and then jump through the hoop. It confuses the snake and you can escape.

[@Marcus83283]

Lumberjacks tell the new guy about fake monsters to screw with him and it becomes a legend. That’s like if there was a legend of left handed screwdrivers and pipe stretches

[@MisZpelled]

That story about lumberjacks making up creatures reminded me of a story my dad told me. It was the mid 1970's my dad was around 7 or 8 and his grandpa told him for a month that they were going to go on a Woozle hunt soon. Weeks pass and my dad is excited to go on a hunt, and his grandpa keeps telling him they'll go soon. One day in the middle of the night his grandpa wakes him up and tells him to get ready to hunt. He explains to my dad the woozles are nocturnal, so like raccoons you have to hunt them at night. He gets dressed and heads out in the woods with a shotgun and a light. Once they are in a ways his grandpa tells him that my dad should stay put here and he will go out and chases the woozles to him. My dad agrees and they go there separate ways. My dad keeps looking through the forest with his flash light trying to spot a woozle. After about 3 or 4 hours he decides to give up and look for his grandpa. He calls out for him and there's no response after a few minutes he starts to panic and he runs back to the house. When he gets home what does he find? His grandpa out on the couch drinking a beer. His grandpa then explain to him that woozle aren't real and the prank is to take someone out on a woozle hunt and see how long they will sit in the woods hunting woozles.

[@0therun1t21]

I had an illustrated book of these when I was a kid, I loved that book! I remember mountain goats with 2 short left legs or 2 short right legs that could only face one way on a mountain. If a left footed met a right footed on a mountain pass, watch out! It had the goofus, hoop snake, squink, squonk, furry trout, jackelope, some sort of moon cat and a bunch I'm trying to recall. It was a wonderful book.

[@jamesbugbee6812]

This is like the sidehill rounder.

[@sephikong8323]

Oh shit, that one, the first one is a traditional "Cryptid" from my region, it's actually just a prank that hunters tell to the kids and to the people that come to the mountain villages just to mess with them, but it's still pretty funny to think about the logistics of it since it can only ever circle the mountain in one direction

[@0therun1t21]

@@sephikong8323 Are they from Switzerland? I haven't seen that book on almost 50 years and I don't remember a whole lot about it, but the goats were one of my favorites. I bet your town is awesome!

[@sephikong8323]

@@0therun1t21 It's from the Alps in general, I don't know about the Swiss but I guess they probably have the Dahu around there as well, in my case I'm from around the southern Alps and I know that it's a pretty popular "fake tale" in the mountains around here

[@slugtubes7836]

the squonk is my favorite

[@crazydave9735]

THE KING HAS RETURNED

[@theRiver_joan]

Pards are back?

[@eggwithoutasperm5927]

Hello, is it me you're looking for?

[@Rapt0rham]

Jackalopes are real! Or rather, rabbits with Shope papilloma virus are likely what they're based on.

[@TheGeoshark]

Hoop Snakes are getting added to my Pathfinder campaign

[@koolaid1364]

this is legit grunkle stan giving a tour of the mystery shack

[@cheeselover971]

Lmao

[@dannahbanana11235]

I'm glad to learn that I've been part of a long running lumberjack tradition lmao. I definitely used to make up animals to be afraid of for the younger boys around the campfire.

[@nicholasfarrell5981]

C'mon now, everyone knows that Spring-Heeled Jack was a time traveler.

[@PlanetZoidstar]

Me: Mom can we get Mermaids? Mom: We have Mermaids at home. The Mermaids at home: 2:03

[@buggyhuman]

a small part of me kinda wanted to see my local urban legend in this video. In Long Beach Washington there lives the mummy of an alligator monkey man hybrid we call "Jake the Alligator Man". he lives on many a bumper sticker within southwestern Washington and northwestern Oregon

[@LilyLewis771]

So sad the Hodag did not get a mention in the 'Fearsome Critters' section! It's a mysterious beastie found in the woods of Wisconsin- exactly the sort of thing loggers would tell stories about, I'm sure!

[@gaminganimators7000]

Honestly, I love Spring-heeled Jack. I love everything about him (apart from the whole sexual assault stuff)

[@DarkPsychoMessiah]

Assuming the drink noble theory it's true the sexual assault was the whole point. That and having a laugh at the expense of the commoners.

[@kahn9980]

"I love everything about him (apart from the whole sexual assault stuff)" 😂😂😂

[@TiroDvD]

Yea then you that cartoon "mispelling Jack the St/ripper": kzbin.info/www/bejne/r4G8i6OtiNV-o6M

[@sadiehatesbowling957]

Booooooooo, laaaaaame

[@alexandergotze3323]

A british tv show turned him into a raptor and i, for one, find that more believable

[@ansfridaeyowulfsdottir8095]

You missed out the best bit. When Spring-Heeled Jack leapt over 20 foot high walls, people saw that instead of boots, he had CLOVEN HOOVES! {:-:-:}

[@doctorgothicc]

Oh that's really hot actually

[@Eidlones]

!

[@skycat777u.k5]

Not forgetting his Big Hairy balls around his ankles😨🤢😝

[@envittutiia]

I wonder if he ever murdered anyone at midnight

[@itsjustalf7747]

I’ve stayed up all night and it’s currently 6 am this is perfect right now as my mind starts to melt like usual

[@harrietharlow9929]

This was a rip! I love how you present the ???s with humor. And I loved the intro.

[@jayrey5390]

With your dismissal of the lake octopus on the basis of it being impossible - the 'peach blossom jellyfish' {Craspedacusta sowerbii} is a freshwater jellyfish found in China (and is actually becoming invasive in places) did just that. Not to say it's likely there's a octopus in that lake, just that such an adaptation isn't unprecedented.

[@reidleblanc3140]

"fish people always amazed humans, and they've been searching for them ever since." spoken like a true fellow human.

[@alexanderthegreat6682]

"Hello fellow humans, human fellows. Boy do I like doing human things like internet

[@sagefeather3405]

@@alexanderthegreat6682Is that a Dragon Prince reference?

[@djDTOUR]

The best icebreaker question is: "You're stuck on an island. You'll be there for a long time. You have a mermaid companion. Do you want the top half or the bottom half to be fish?"

[@raze_]

Can the top fish half breathe on land and still act humanlike ex speech? Because then the top half because at least they could be useful on the island. A bottom half would have to drag itself along like an idiot.

[@GrassPossum]

@@raze_ That is why women have legs. Otherwise they'd have to drag their fishy part on the ground everywhere.

[@leoadimanea7826]

why not have both halves be fish so that you have a free human sized fish you can cook and eat?

[@melovekittie]

As an asexual I only see one easy choice

[@GrassPossum]

@@melovekittie yes, but barbecued, or fried? Or half of each?

[@Suusleepy]

Crypto Zoology is a real form of science, though it's not very big anymore, it's the study of animals we aren't sure exist, this could have been Giant Squids, maybe a kind of Monkey we didn't know about, it's a real form of science that isn't much needed nowadays since it only fits things like specific kinds of little bugs and stuff, but it does exist

[@Recoil1808]

Aye, at its core, cryptozoology (and cryptophytology) is a perfectly valid scientific pursuit. Unfortunately, because of what it necessarily is, it also happens to be a magnet for sensationalists, thrillseekers and grifters, who have introduced quite a few blows to the field's credibility. Firstly, and most damningly, plenty have brought in straight-up mysticism to the field, and also turned what *were* potential creatures into characters (case in point: several bigfoot-like cryptids. To this day I am confounded by how many people keep their eyes glued to the GROUND when looking for an unknown primate). Secondly, the sensationalists will generally perform their searches at night, ditto with many of the thrillseekers, regardless of whether the animal is supposed to be nocturnal, diurnal, or crepuscular, and the thrillseekers generally make an obscene amount of noise. Thirdly, you then have the unfortunate fact that the only cryptids that tend to get covered are the "sexiest" of them, even long after they have been completely and utterly debunked (Nessie, modern megalodon, all the cryptids that look suspiciously like outdated understandings of what dinosaurs looked like...), and even if more promising, similar locations and creatures elsewhere (or even in the same biosphere).

[@appleglassjuice11]

@@Recoil1808 You know, I always found cryptozoology interesting, but never considered who useful it could be in the real world, especially back then. Kinda disappointing how its become over the years. Also, a bit random, but would you feel the same way about Ufology (if Im spelling that right) because I heard you can get a degree for the study of UFOs, aliens, and paranormal, I think??

[@Recoil1808]

@@appleglassjuice11 Oh, certainly.It's all but confirmed there's *something* not of our origin (or else someone is way more tight-lipped about it than any Earthly nation WOULD be about having physics-breaking technology for decades). Buuuut then you have the wackjobs, like nearly every other field, who'll go, "well acktually the aliens are all total hippies who care about how much damage we do to our OWN world but are too peaceful to bring it to the attention of more than like a handful of people they kidnap..."

[@joshuahadams]

I feel like it should probably be categorized less as pure zoology and more anthropology, like studying mythology. Sure there’s probably ~something~ that inspires stories of cryptids, but more often than not it’s the stories themselves that are the interesting, long lasting bits, and how those stories affect a culture as a whole.

[@Recoil1808]

@@joshuahadams There's a bit of both to it, for sure--when it's done "right". [rest of comment edited out because my dumb ass didn't remember that I'd said the rest of it a whole two months ago]

[@richietozier2813]

This is giving me Stan pines vibes and I love it.

[@pendrive4real]

spring healed jack just sounds like a nerfed vampire

[@guyb.h8637]

This is why I love cryptids, the sheer absurdity of what people make up is hilarious and fascinating

[@epiggarfieldman9978]

I have literally never seen or heard of this channel on my recommended but it's already the best channel within the first five seconds

[@shadymcnasty5920]

The mothman is my favorite "stupid cryptid" you have to have a complete disregard for how biological anatomy works to truely believe in that fairytale

[@slimothyjames4577]

I love mothman, but I personally like to imagine the stylized little mothball with beady eyes instead of a bug-man lol

[@cusswordsayer3558]

That treads into supernatural territory

[@benthomason3307]

or it could just be an owl.

[@gvl1260]

That name is pretty misleading, most people only reported some flying humanoid entity with red huge eyes, nothing bug like what the name would suggest. i know because I had the pleasure of watching a documentary about it, even the movie too. Weird stuff.

[@origaminosferatu3357]

I dunno, centaur anatomy is pretty crazy. It's got like all the horse bits AND THEN all the man bits too! Seems a little excessive, if you ask me.

[@vendetta1093]

Ive never seen such a high resolution image of a veggie man! I hope the person who took the picture is okay, if they didn't run immediately after taking that picture they probably didn't make it out alive!

[@CuteGothChick]

Yo, when I was a kid they had these books in the school library all about cryptids, paranormal, ancient eras and that's where I learned of the hide behind. I STILL look behind me when closing doors.

[@beanburrito4405]

“Pard” is such a funny name I can’t

[@micha5200]

It sounds like "fard"

[@woomyboy98]

I didn't pay any money to watch this and yet I still feel like I got scammed...

[@brennanperry8001]

Thank you for not including the squonk, which is a very serious, and very threatening cryptid. For those who'd like to know what a squonk is, a squonk is a cryptid originating from central Pennsylvania. Legend has it, that the squonk is a pig-like creature with wrinkled skin, that is so ugly that it cries constantly, to the point where it can be tracked by the trails of tears left behind.

[@BeccaRaptor94]

I was specifically hoping for squonk in the video! Lol. Why don’t you like it??

[@brennanperry8001]

@@BeccaRaptor94 oh dude, I fucking love the squonk. The title of the video is "really stupid cryptids" and I was acting like it didn't belong in the video, when it absolutely deserves a spot.

[@justagirlwearingglasses]

oh shit they found me

[@nadapenny8592]

In Richmond, VA there's a cryptid that is a dog walking down West Broad Street with a shopping cart.

[@letstalktech8894]

Veggie man 🤣🤣🤣 This channel is awesome, so glad I found it!!!

[@kaeteegage4846]

I love Cryptids and cryptzoology. The amount of crazy creatures that you hear about. And I think a mermaid would actually look more animal like since it's a creature that lives in the ocean instead of a hot half fish chick with tiddie shells.

[@seal8900]

My dad was a pilot and one time when a rabbit was running across a runway him and his friend managed to convince another pilot that it was a Jackelope.

[@littlegiantj8761]

You're leaving out the part where Jack would rip at the clothes of his victims.

[@IAMTHECHOSEN.]

the old man with the top hat popping up randomly has me in tears

[@Rob_Fordd]

Spring Heeled Jack is basically an anime comic relief character IRL.

[@eddietheheaduwu]

honestly, judging by how deranged the victorian era was, I'm not even surprised

[@michaellyczak9337]

Another addition to the Fearsome Critters; the Hodag, usually 'seen' in Wisconsin.

[@melissaclaassen9707]

"Pictured: a group of peasants going bananas" is absolutely killing me.

[@ElijahFite]

can't believe you didn't mention my favorite cryptid, The Squonk

[@SpukiTheLoveKitten75]

One thing that surprised me and that many don't know is that The Jersey Devil isn't some ancient folklore but a bit of political satire dreamt up by a young Benjamin Franklin. Franklin didn't get along with some guy named Leeds (a guy who was REEEALLY into Astrology) so Ben made up some nonsense in his Almanac about the man's wife having an unwanted thirteenth child who was some weird demonic whatchamacallit. There was also an undercurrent of ableism, too. Ms. Leeds may have actually had a thirteenth child who was severely developmentally disabled in some way. As much as I count Franklin as an awesome fun guy, that was really low of him. ... not to mention the whole thing was rather petty. Mr. Leeds' crime in Franklin's eyes was being a huge Horoscope buff... although it was likely more about a business rivalry between competing almanacs and the Astrology stuff being the straw that broke the camel's back. So, in a nutshell, the Jersey Devil was less earnest folklore from settlers or Indigenous people and more akin to "the 'Gerrymander' monster" or "The 'Baidu 10 Mythical Monsters' meme". In this case, it was satire meant to smear a business competitor... and folks turned it into a full blown cryptid or ancient paranormal folklore thingy.