recapping riverdale because it is the most unhinged show on television

featuring the iconic heathers musical episode and the dark academia secret history plotline!
come to my twilight screening in february!
hotdocs.ca/whats-on/films/twi...
MY PODCAST: ‪@GirlHistorians‬
Apple: podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast...
Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/2pOlS5e...
KZbin: ‪@GirlHistorians‬
🌷 instagram 🌷
/ carleythorne
(@carleythorne)
🏩 tiktok 🏩
/ carleythorne.jpg
💕 storygraph (instead of goodreads) 💕
app.thestorygraph.com/profile...
want to work with me? email: [e-mail]
intro music: Louie Zong - Cycad Conga
chapters:
intro: 00:00 - 01:23
season 3: 00:01:23 - 01:07:35
season 4: 01:07:36 - 01:58:13
season 5a: 01:58:14 - 02:03:44
tags shhh:
mikes mic, cole sprouse, charles melton, riverdale,commentary, riverdale recap, pretty little liars recap, gossip girl recap ,alex meters, betty cooper, veronica lodge,r iverdale video essay, riverdale chaotic moments,r iverdale finale, uncarley, pop culture commentary,r iverdale unhinged, riverdale explained, riverdale reaction ,riverdale cringe ,riverdale season 4 ,how did riverdale end, lili reinhart, pretty little liars, betty and veronica, what happened riverdale, recapping riverdale because it is the most unhinged show on television

[@queumoo]

every season is just betty and jughead solving crimes while archie and vernonica commit them😭

[@svgerd]

you actually deserve compensation for putting urself through that

[@uncarley]

my brain is melted

[@consumingdaydreams]

@uncarley And twice, no less! A Purple Heart medal for you, queen 🫡💜

[@SonicAesthetix]

@svgerd not once but TWICE

[@luisabolado]

@@uncarleyyour brain is melton

[@silviagenerelli6069]

00😊😊oo😅😮​6

[@francescakyanda9182]

the way it takes days of strategic planning for my autistic brain to get through a movie yet no time at ALL for me to inject this two hour masterpiece into my veins is a mystery, so happy to partake

[@uncarley]

omg this is the highest compliment

[@Tw0Dots]

You just described my life Love these type of vids, i mainline that sht

[@nikfiendluvr666]

dude I know exactly what you mean, I always feel like I'm never prepared enough to watch a movie, but a 2 hour video essay about a show I haven't watched since 2017? yeah I got time for that.

[@courtneypaige18]

Absolutely this, I’ve been so excited waiting for part 2 that’s how much I loved the first one!

[@SpecialInterestShow]

A movie requires watching the screen a lot, whereas things like this just require glances here and there if you want for the pics So it's easier for us autistics to consume content like this cause we can do other stuff and can feel free to look away from the screen without pressure, as opposed to a movie where if you look away you might miss something!

[@kuhdeejugh]

carley recapping the crime that is riverdale makes her braver than the marines

[@uncarley]

omg thank u

[@Tw0Dots]

this just pretty much makes her a medal of honor green beret in general, off of bravery & fortitude alone

[@tiffanymoton704]

god this video really tested my adhd so much, because, no exaggeration, if you stop paying attention for even just 20 seconds, the entire thing turns to nonsense. i was following along perfectly, goblin king, kill the red paladin, got it got it. looked over at my cat one time and suddenly bettys in a home run by hyram loyalists and everyones being fed a drug inexplicably called fizzlerocks. HELP hahahaha

[@witchywoman2008]

Honestly the fact that for years the plots were Veronica trying to run a business, Archie trying to do stuff for the town and the people, Jughead falling down some conspiracy rabbit hole, and Betty just straight up FIGHTING MANIAC SERIAL KILLERS is absolutely insane to me. It was like multiple shows in one.

[@sariethesatannek3906]

That's why it was so fun to watch 😭✋🏻

[@Labinzel]

Don't forget Jughead struggling with gang warfare!

[@summrwalkr]

i never got past the first season of this show and i’ve never been more proud of a past decision because this show is a fever dream wtf was ever going on

[@uncarley]

riverdale is a cinematic masterpiece but i respect your decision to protect your peace

[@summrwalkr]

it was a short lived peace because i’m taking in the lore through you now but it’s alright maybe i need this character arc

[@detergenthwachae]

As someone who watched the first 3 seasons the second they aired and then said fuck this madness, I can proudly say I love season one and season one only. Go watch it, if you still want to, but don't you dare start the second season

[@halvedemi]

​@@detergenthwachaeagree. Season 1 was great. I stopped halfway through season 2 and never looked back lmao.

[@oflynn_flowerchild1412]

wait til you find out about the alternate dimension and Sabrina crossover in the later seasons lmao

[@elainab5543]

not even 30 minutes in and I cannot get over the image of the gargoyle king checking into the hospital and walking down the halls with his hooves clicking on the tiles

[@shanshanx14]

"It's not interesting but it is his storyline" is such a perfect way to describe archie

[@oh_why_her]

Shout out to that girl I met in middle school who told me this was the greatest show ever…maybe she wasn’t wrong.

[@uncarley]

she made some points

[@tumzaria5696]

I unironically loved season 3 because of how unhinged it was, one thing for sure you can never say Riverdale was boring.

[@Emmysn0w]

Was she me bc this show had a chokehold on me

[@chickenfoot2423]

tbf if that was during the season 1 period people really had high hopes

[@gemstone71552]

People might be joking about the Riverdale to Academy Award pipeline Should exist. All of these actors (especially Lili Reinhart) deserve an honorary OSCAR for not cackling at every line delivery in Riverdale. They are stronger than me

[@cameronmarryatt4019]

I cannot explain my excitement to just stare at my phone for 2 hours and watch this. thank you

[@uncarley]

omgggg thank u

[@MotherPhlix]

My children named our Elf on the Shelf "Jingle Jangle" years ago and now I need to rethink my entire parenting experience.

[@convoswithkara]

i am but a chick being fed worms by my bird mother and for that i say thank you for keeping me so well-fed this week!

[@uncarley]

u r my little chick

[@witchywoman2008]

“We’re not here for continuity, we’re here for vibes.” SO TRUE edit: also the idea that Mr Honey was a bad person for wanting the students at his school to not??? get murdered??? is wild

[@sam_._._.]

"the boygenius of riverdale gangs" sent me so much omg KWKDKRKKFKFKF

[@emclaire7027]

For Christmas my friend (who is insane) somehow got me a *signed photo* of Skeet Ulrich in his little Pop’s hat, and I just think it’s important that everyone knows this

[@RaphaelleLD]

this whole comment is incredible but for some reason the "(who is insane)" made me cackle

[@Amazinglexi3]

You’re friend is a keeper

[@FanHolic0]

if she doesnt suffer any ptsd from riverdale from BOTH watching, and rewatching it to recap for us, i dont know if shes so strong or shes just outta her head lmao

[@uncarley]

honestly i am on the edge of mental collapse

[@GremlinScribe]

I love how you say "shooting bow and arrows" as if she's launching the bow as well as the arrow XD

[@giorgia.m]

Also, Lili Reinhart is phenomenal actress like she was giving Oscar worthy work as Betty to make me believe that character, I’m always checking her Wiki to see her upcoming projects 🤞🏼 Tony incoming

[@uncarley]

she is SO great

[@kiieran755]

as a fellow riverdalian thank you for treating this show like the piece of avant-garde art that it is. my fav riverdale theory: I think the juvie that Archie goes to in s3 is named "Leopold and Loeb" as a reference to the events of "Archie's Weird Fantasy", a weird little indie play that the creator of Riverdale wrote in like 2003 that got a cease-and-desist order before it could ever be performed because the play is about archie discovering that he's gay(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and rooming with infamous gay murderer nathan leopold.

[@karmarenee999]

Oh yes as a fully fledged member of riverdaleblr this is a known FACT😻

[@lukaj679]

I mean they sent a cease and desist because he was using the Archie brand without license but ofc Roberto had to have the last laugh becoming the cco of archie comics

[@Speaking841]

They should've followed The Princess Switch's blueprint, and had the same actors in different wigs playing the three gangs

[@Sky_luvs_u]

I literary watched this show and then went to a mental hospital and then proceeded to forget all of it, this video really let’s me know why it caused that to happen

[@daddyfrankoffical]

that happened to me too with supernatural lmao

[@vanyl.d]

they somehow out-unhinged supernatural and that is a success on its own

[@amberbusse]

cannot express how truly validating it is to not be the only person who not only watched but enjoyed riverdale in its ENTIRETY. what an insane flaming car crash of a wild ride that i COULD NOT stop watching no matter how much i longed for my sanity back

[@firedaisi]

Exactly 😭

[@reganoakshield3358]

This is so true

[@windexduh1636]

Riverdale is that show you can pick a random episode in every season- watch them out of order and it will make 100% sense

[@AditiRanganathan]

I started uncontrollably laughing every time Carly said "erotic tickling" - I go to art school and I listen to these videos while I'm in studio, and I actually had to stop and resume once I went home because I didn't want anyone to ask me why I was laughing 😭

[@apoorvapatwardhan]

i am liking before even starting the video because the sheer courage behind this topic needs to be acknowledged

[@uncarley]

omg thank u

[@witchesgetstitches9900]

I literally forgot you were talking about Jugheads fanfic for a second and i didn't even notice because it could also just absolutely happen irl in the show

[@cholaundry]

I feel the need to inform you that like 2 months ago I saw Moulin Rouge on Broadway and Kevin was in fact the main character. I saw Riverdale in the playbook and nearly lost my mind. (He did actually do a really good job though)

[@alexdh2001]

aw that makes me so happy for casey that he's on broadway now, riverdale did him so dirty for so many years 😂

[@flawedsanity]

"It's not interesting, but it is his storyline" lmaooo i love this. Having an extra rough time lately, ty for all the laughs in this video

[@skywalker21ls]

the way I’ve watched this entire show TWICE (no, I don’t know why I did that either) and I still found it HARD to follow you when explaining the plot + had forgotten like 90% of this even happens. Honestly I wish I had watched this video with no context about the show bc that must be an EXPERIENCE.

[@jadegrey2775]

this truly could take out an entire VILLAGE of victorian children.

[@southstreetknits]

fun fact the ides of march (aka march 15- the day julius caesar was assassinated) is actually celebrated!!!! at the university of st andrews the classics students throw a ball where everyone dresses in togas and drinks and it’s very secret history core

[@bellab2662]

I just audibly yelled “NOOOOO!“ when you brought up the tickling videos… I had completely removed that from my brain for a reason 😭😂

[@LouiseBelch]

I quit watching the show like half way through season 5 but have NO recollection of half of the second half of Season 3 and beyond so the way I've been GASPING

[@LouiseBelch]

patiently (impatiently) waiting for a part three

[@amberspecter]

The way you say "Veronica" takes me straight back to that tiktok of the dude feeding raccoons, going "That's fucking Veronica, Veronica does not trust me"

[@pengoschwortz4734]

I truly can’t thank you enough for putting names on these photos and highlighting them when you mention them. That was the SINGLE flaw of Mike’s videos because god damn there were so many characters 😭

[@nataliegaslin]

coming home after a 3 hour lacrosse tournament in the freezing cold to this was perhaps the most incredible feeling ever.

[@uncarley]

did not expect to be reminded about the sport lacrosse this afternoon but here we are

[@bellaporter3185]

I love that saying that Archie has superpowers of invincibility in season 3 foreshadows Archie's actual superhuman invincibility that makes him bulletproof except when he's in the presence of rare earth mineral palladium in season 6.

[@maryjacky6686]

I just binged both parts of this and youre absolutely right this series is a cinematic masterpiece in other news half of my brain has melted

[@Xenocrossing]

It’s been five months and I’m so sad to see that there isn’t a part 3 yet😭 god speed girl you’re brave for watching

[@giamiabia]

For people confused about ROTC: it's military recruitment in schools. Different schools have different branches. You wear a mock military uniform in school, you learn about the military, you can even go to mini boot camps. It's insidious. I went to a school with an ROTC program and it was WILD. My brother was in ROTC and was pressured into joining the military his senior year. This was 2002. He didn't actually want to join. He ended up being one of the first troops deployed to Afghanistan when the war kicked off.

[@allbymyshelf4125]

And actually, in high school/middle school it's Jr. ROTC, so like, you learn about the military but you're not forced to sign up - though I'm sure it's used as a feeder for direct recruitment/recruitment to college ROTC. If you do ROTC, which is college, (and you get a scholarship with it usually) then you're committed to serving in some capacity for a certain amount of time after college - sometimes it's just national guard, but it's often an active-duty position for 4 years or something.

[@1970Camaro]

Holy shit man

[@lauralynnwilliams2338]

​@allbymyshelf4125 I'm currently in the college ROTC program, and I like it. You also get sent out as an officer when you're done.

[@kasiafields6377]

I’d like to add that you can do ROTC even if you can’t join the military. My little sister can’t join due to a missing kidney but she does ROTC for scholarship opportunities

[@LouiseBelch]

why is the States so obsessed with the Army, dear lord

[@TheRustyTrike]

I’ve never even seen this show but I’m fully invested in this recap.

[@uncarley]

hahaha thank u

[@robyn00xx]

The cadence Carley has speaking just itches my brain

[@Reetietoo]

I love the idea of marriage being a facetious ending to a virginity pact

[@heidimaria4714]

not this video being so damn EXCELLENT that somehow I want to rewatch this chaotic show.

[@lvr133]

"part three within three months 😍😍" LMAO

[@mariaraquelfs]

Funny how every generation of teenagers since the Xs had they unhinged teenage shows that were extremely popular and the shows just got crazier and crazier (BH90210, The OC, Gossip Girl, Pretty Little Liars and Riverdale). I see Riverdale as a natural progression

[@titaniacrawley3817]

the women in stem joke killed me

[@uncarley]

hahahaha thank u

[@angieng6091]

I know this show is so confusing and kinda bad but the episode of them breaking Archie out of jail and the flashback ep with the parents are lowkey the best things I’ve seen 😭

[@tobiasholden1008]

you're so real for this queen - - - even worse than following this bonkers show for the last decade, is not having ANYONE to talk to about it

[@Yuzi-Goat]

52:42 Die-hard Heathers the musical fan here the football players' names are Kurt and Ram they sing a song about wanting to r-word a girl together called Blue and the other Heathers (played by Betty and Veronica) almost let them do it and then they tell the whole school they did and then they get killed and its framed as a double unalive pact because they were gay and didn't want to live in the homophobic 80’s anymore. It's crazy so it's the perfect musical for Riverdale. Hope this helps!

[@arbyswitch5580]

NOT ME forgetting that Kurt and Ram canonically cease to live in Heathers and thinking that mid sentence you started describing the Riverdale Heathers episode without warning 😅

[@user-td6pq9fj3b]

I need part 3. I need to know that aliens, witches, parallel univers and the poly relationship were not a fever dream i had. None of my friends ever finished the show so i have noone to back me up

[@bluebonnetenjoyer]

i wish to show this to a victorian child

[@Sally20101]

You sacrificed your precious time to watch riverdale to make a video for us..thank u queen!!..😭💞

[@uncarley]

no better way to waste my time tbh

[@HGR555]

My favorite youtuber returnsssss Love your video essay format videos, i think long form really suits your style of content creation. And it comes across so well that you're having fun with this unhinged content

[@uncarley]

thank you! i truly am having the time of my life making these so im happy you're enjoying them!

[@averyjensen8589]

DENA LUNAM as the dean of the Iowa writers workshop is layered and absolutely insane

[@ameliarosesheppard9007]

the characters: shorten Griffons and Gargoyles to G&G me: gungeons and gragons

[@itslele_]

The fact that i saw Riverdale airing live since season 2, and never did a rewatch (exemption for like some reaction videos here on KZbin), but still being able to remember VIVIDLY everything she said was so good, good job with the video and good job Riverdale for being a cultural reset for television 🙏🏻

[@bloombrains4555]

watched this while i made my minecraft village, so now, when i look at my beautiful greenhouse, all i can think of is carley saying “and cheryl blossom mowed down everyone with her bow and arrow”.

[@handsoap3346]

My fave part of Minecraft is looking back on old builds and remembering what I was listening to when I built them

[@gabi8096]

you see, I know very well this will be 2 hours of my life I'll never get back but I actually am setting the room to watch it thank you for being the best commedian out here carley

[@uncarley]

omggg so kind thank u

[@laurelv2002]

No one in my life knows that I’ve willingly watched every episode of riverdale as they came out. It’s like my guilty pleasure show bc I didn’t actually like it but I couldn’t look away. It’s just such a silly show.

[@evediby2183]

I haven't watched past 3 episodes into season 2 but I can't wait for it all to be told in depth to me again by Carley😤💖💅🏾

[@uncarley]

yesss

[@VivianKae]

It was Fangs who was seeing Midge and who was blamed for her murder. Joaquin covered up Jason Blossom's murder and ran away before he could be caught/charged. Presumably he's in juvie for something else

[@minirth.maggie]

I love that. Why is a character in juvie? DOESN'T MATTER! FIGHT CLUB! 😅

[@alethela557]

Didn’t he get arrested during like riot night? At least that’s what I assumed, while trying to protect fangs

[@kenp3727]

I've only watched season 1 of this show once a really long time ago, but these recaps of yours keep me FED lol Ive watched the first video like 10 times 😂 buckling in for this one

[@uncarley]

omggg thank u

[@jennarose2438]

You explaining the show makes so much more sense than the actual show

[@8ixf.r]

i recommend doing more unhinged recaps of tv shows and reality shows it’s AMAZING

[@sarkakotkova5310]

appreciate your incredible contribution to the rivernation, even if you had to let your brain kinda rot for it... obsessed with your dedication to meltonsweep. i havent finished this yet but you mistaking kevin's boyfriends for one another and just randomly assigning each one different plotline than they have is very real and i respect it

[@_juuuulz]

all of this sounds like a fever dream. like someone took nyquil and this was their dream

[@valsinclair]

time to drop part 3!

[@frankiemermaid2027]

i am literally not comprehending any of this but i’m here for it

[@kusamochi-rm5gt]

everyone salute to our queen carley and her fallen braincells that went into creating this gem

[@ParkerFerguson-es5hu]

hey so it's been four months

[@TumblrOzymandias]

You are the only person who understands the GENUIS, the absolute MASTERPIECE that is Riverdale. Thank you for spreading the gospel 🙏 so hyper for your season 6 recap cause that season is somehow crazier than the rest of the show combined

[@whyisyoutubeshowinghandles]

I don't know crap about Riverdale or the Archie comics that came before but Jughead is my favorite character in both because A) "I'm weird. I'm a weirdo. I don't fit in, and I don't want to fit in." and B) this one comic screenshot I saw that I'm just going to quote directly because it lives in my head rent free: Jughead's mom: Well, maybe it's normal and natural for a boy of his age! Later on he'll get to enjoy girls! Jughead: It's not normal and natural for *this* boy to enjoy girls, mom! Not *now!* Not *ever!*

[@Apretentiouspotato]

Sitting here three months later like…

[@kateturner8124]

no but riverdale is so iconic if you get it you get it. it is so camp and fun and insane and we need more shows like it honestly

[@tori14tori14]

I've never clicked on a video so fast. Carley I love you so much for going through this torture for us

[@uncarley]

anytime bestie

[@claranathania730]

i can’t imagine the pain you’ve gone through watching this show because i stopped watching riverdale at season 3. thank you for doing this two-hour long recap that i’ve been listening while folding my clothes and washing dishes. thank you carley.

[@laurende2956]

Omg I just went back and watched that scene where they sing “here’s to Ronnie..and Archie. And Betty” I’m in stitches, I forgot how funny it was

[@starryskies8445]

OH this is a blessing! I've been summarising uni-stuff and a long video is just what I needed rn

[@uncarley]

omg take care bestie

[@Angelica-fd4wn]

As someone who can't stand Riverdale after season 1, I'm OBSESSED with these recaps. A nice little fever dream for the girlies

[@ryleyjones988]

13 seconds in and wanted to give you my utmost thanks ❤️ you deserve a hollywood walk of fame star, an egot, and financial compensation for this. Love you queen

[@abbiedonovan4997]

I made chicken noodle soup from scratch while i was watching this and i kept having to stop to laugh at your commentary, excellent work

[@handsoap3346]

Thank you Carly for my 12th and 13th hour of screentime today!

[@creepypastamansion]

carley i love all of ur videos, book related and pop culture related!!! i think its ur lovely personality xoxo SO happy to see this part 2, i loved part 1!!!🩷🩷🩷

[@uncarley]

omg thank you so so much

[@Lfelid6742]

I was so thoroughly excited to see this sequel video pop up on my feed i LOVE these riverdale recaps because I watched it RELIGIOUSLY in high school but fell off because this show is insane so this is filling in so many gaps for me. ily youre doing gods work

[@taylormanett621]

You're entering the realm of Mike's Mic Teen-Series-Recap Supremacy. Queen behavior 💅 Thank you for your service!

[@ijeuna12]

A combined video with them both would break the multiverse

[@taylormanett621]

@@ijeuna12 It would be iconic!

[@csimproductions]

I’m INVESTED but reminder: Joaquin was actually Kevin’s ex boyfriend who helped clean up Jason’s murder in s1 Fangs is the one that was seeing midge on the DL and nearly got jailed for her murder but was shot my midges mom when he got released and that’s what caused the massive riot where Joaquin came back > tried to help fangs escape town before the riot > got arrested off screen somehow > is in juvie Archie

[@lilyfilms9398]

Thank you! This was bugging me the whole video!!! 😂😂

[@iwasbuyingcelery9402]

I’ve been waiting so long for this video, thank you so much for sacrificing your health and watching all those seasons for us🙏🏽

[@uncarley]

anytime bestie

[@hearitcall]

Okay, two things: 1. The fact they do a rendition of Jailhouse Rock and have Riley Keough (granddaughter of Presley) as a character in the same season is so fun to me. Was it a coincidence or did they do it on purpose? I need answers. 2. You brought it up with Jughead's I'm not dead high school return but I kept thinking how exhausting being a regular student would be. You're just trying to class and there is a gang war or murder being plotted in the next room. Respect for keeping a through line of the plot because I think if I tried my brain would be a puddle. Can't wait for the next recap!

[@cacography]

thank you for the increased production value in recap part 2! it's a lot easier to follow these bonkers events when i can see which character you're talking about

[@ko379]

I know it must’ve sucked to lose that footage, but I’m so grateful you pushed on because I honestly have been looking forward to this so much!! Thank you for the entertainment

[@dia6733]

It’s the way I was literally looking for a long video to watch while doing my work. THIS WAS PERFECT TIMING!! I love this and I love you for sacrificing your sanity for it😭

[@Prideminute]

I was losing hope but it’s finally here 🙏🏼🙏🏼 thank u for your service queen

[@lfsantacruz8703]

I looked away for no more than two minutes, and by the time I looked back, you were talking about 3 new characters, a new cult, and a shiv. 😭

[@SabeFett]

I discovered your channel because of your Riverdale breakdowns haha thank you so much for making these and can’t wait for the final breakdown. Binging all of your other videos until then! ❤

[@brittsilva]

I think that the way they still gave Luke Perry a ‘normal’ death away from the mess of the plot was just idk. I never LOVED riverdale but i still felt so sad when he passed from seeing him for the first two seasons.