Recognizing Your Son's Need For Respect - Emerson Eggerichs Part 1

[@Cuooer]

I'm so Thankful God led me to this series, The words " I Need to Respect my Son" poured out of my mouth today while sitting in the Principals office. I realized my respect isn't there for my Son and I so desperately need to Respect him.. It's imperative to his growth and Love for christ

[@ErinNicole617]

same

[@raelynnwagner7081]

Emerson is really a game changer And he has helped me so much

[@kristinyaekelnegley3978]

We should all respect each other in general!

[@earthangel7253]

Got the book straight to the horses mouth not married yet but preparing regardless hopefully we find each other soon and are in each other's arms forever. Amen.

[@tiffanyt9322]

I am so glad God lead me to this. So many times I have searched for the words to use so he would know that I still love and respect him but in the end still felt like I was just putting my son down and making him feel inadequate rather than encouraging him to do better. Thank you so much now I think I have the words.

[@ameliarose427]

I am glad I came across this video this morning. Will definitely help me repair the relationship with my adult son.

[@sedaliagirl5453]

As counselor and mom this is spot on!!!

[@raelynnwagner7081]

He’s the best I’ve ever heard Went through marriage teachings 1&2 Really helped our marriage a lot

[@aedanmangan4309]

Some very valuable advice. If we truly care for our children, we should train ourselves to do the job. I am in training so we can have a great relationship into their adulthood. I love my children and want to train them as well.

[@jenberg3662]

Whew..... I'm a female.... only daughter ..... my dad raised me with a sense of respect=love and acceptance AND I had to earn it. This. Is. Huge. Very helpful for me as a mother. Thank you so very much

[@allisontamietti7872]

This is so incredibly powerful & helpful! And an answer to this Momma's prayers. Thank you for sharing!

[@nicolestanford4955]

I have the Respet Affect for mothers and sons book and I love it! We need a "Love your daughters" book now!

[@TJ-kk5zf]

the male problem is more important right now

[@christian1172-z9e]

Not from my perspective

[@brianhawk1854]

Life and death is in the power of the tounge the words

[@shaneanderson7540]

So on the money for me as a son who truly loves his mom and goes threw harsh verbal periods

[@andrealmoseley6575]

Please pray for me today as I have a conversation with my son

[@andrealmoseley6575]

It went well, thank you

[@MandoNinaTinaMama]

Yay!

[@hanahorack4287]

Respect all because God's Light is in all

[@ivaniasmith1400]

My favorite KZbin channel ever! I love it and watch it every chance I get.

[@danielabisenius9858]

Thank you, thank you!😩😥

[@carlosguillen3653]

This is the greatest truth if only we want to accept that we're different

[@rachelmomof5]

😭Thank you for sharing this message. I have three sons, the oldest is 12 and it’s been so hard to navigate how to get through to them. This was a huge lightbulb moment for me. Thank you.

[@fluffybabybunny5822]

All this video will tell them is how to immediately expect respect because they have a penis.

[@yohanasusanto9167]

I also being blessed by Dr. Dobson book "Bringing Up Boys". It gave me lots of clues how as a mother deal well with sons. God bless you

[@gracieluvzpink]

Wow! This is great wise for both girls and boys/ young men.❤

[@fluffybabybunny5822]

No, it's abusive

[@davidregi7571]

@@fluffybabybunny5822 it's not...

[@fluffybabybunny5822]

Men need respect, but women don't (at least as much as men?). That is seriously abusive and the entire reason why men don't respect women.

[@PersonalOrganizers]

Greetings from Texas, :) I shared this video on Facebook. This is such a powerful message! I read "Love and Respect" years ago and my marriage is still reaping good fruit from the teaching. We have 3 boys (2 teenagers) so I desperately needed to be reminded of this. Focus on the Family has been such a huge blessing in my life for more years than I can count!

[@shanelo.5142]

Was your husband open to learning about growing in marriage? I ask because, if a husband is not open, can a marriage still grow in Christ?

[@Cuooer]

This is an area that needs work!! I'm willing and ready to change and grow

[@christinezaslavsky647]

Myisha Cooper myisha, I have begun reading Mother & Son. I am looking for a reading partner, practice partner. Have you already read your copy?

[@christinezaslavsky647]

Myisha Cooper anyone else who is interested, I could put my email down, and then we could exchange # for texting.

[@heidib.4089]

When he started at 6:00 to describe what an angry women looks like the camera panned over the three guys and you could see the two hosts shifting in their seats uncomfortably - what a visceral reaction from two men just even talking about it.

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

Well that was deliberate; he used very emotive words: "face turns sour" "eye rolling" "scolding finger". These terms are meant to evoke discomfort......and they worked.

[@heidib.4089]

@@dumfriesspearhead7398 of course - he had to recreate it because there were no women (their real wives/mothers) actually in studio.

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

@@heidib.4089 No he didn't have to recreate it, he could've just described it. He uses very loaded terms and describes them in a way meant to evoke disgust. He talks about women needing to give men respect .........but is then very disrespectful in describing women. It's not WHAT he says, but the WAY he says it.

[@heidib.4089]

@@dumfriesspearhead7398 goodness, he is purposely and accurately describing the behavior of poorly behaving disrespectful women in order to give examples of what that looks like. And their response to imagining being talked to like that confirms that even imagining being on the receiving end of bad behavior makes them uncomfortable. Their behavior confirms what the point of the video is - which is to bring awareness to how we address each other.

[@kathywilkins5546]

My, yes, lets transfer the responsibility of behaviour onto mother's back, along with every other sin in the world.

[@hpetterson2265]

🤦

[@hpetterson2265]

Not what they said AT ALL.

[@downbntout]

He's just asking everyone to just use a few words. How bad can it be.

[@JulieAnn-tt4mw]

When I realized that the onus of change was on *me*, I felt similarly. What I failed to realize was that although their words make it sound like they have it all together, in reality they are insecure and are in need of our love and affirmation. Where they seem like they are in control and have it all figured out, nothing could be further from the truth. Kathy, we are not assuming responsibility for what they do, we are coming to terms with how much we love them and are willing to show them grace while they make their way in life, just as Jesus Christ has done with each one of us. They are still watching, whether they say so or not. Our example can speak powerfully into their lives.

[@sarahobrien3752]

So good!!! Thank you so much💛

[@cherylallen9640]

Thanks for sharing Amen 🙏🏾

[@kathymyers7279]

Well now I know why I always have had a hard time receiving from authority figures ect. that don’t respect m as a HUMAN FIRST. I grew up feeling contempt from my parents. There are MANY “instructors but few fathers”. (And mothers)

[@fluffybabybunny5822]

That's not gendered though. It goes both ways. This video is just stupid male posturing.

[@zizashaven]

@@fluffybabybunny5822 There are also series for the female gender dear.

[@alexssandraocriciano1489]

Absolutely helpful! Thank you so much for this!

[@bjdis33]

Men respect and love your wife, and wives do the same.

[@isackhernandez3691]

And as in? In effect of doing so? You mean men love your wife. Wife respect your husband.

[@greyhoundssss]

@@isackhernandez3691men and women need both love and respect. And respect does not mean veneration.

[@isackhernandez3691]

@greyhoundssss obviously. But the distinction between the two is the attention to detail and their desires but to say both need something is just lazy.

[@greyhoundssss]

@@isackhernandez3691 they really do need both, though. Eggerichs repeatedly mischaracterized Dr. Gottman’s research on marriage. Gottman found that healthy, long-lasting marriages were characterized by love and respect for BOTH spouses-not Eggerichs’ view that men should only provide basic relating to women while women should put men on a pedestal above them.

[@greyhoundssss]

@@isackhernandez3691 not only does Eggerichs repeatedly misrepresent Gottman’s research, he completely ignores research from Gottman that disproves his claim that men should be in an elevated position above women in marriage. Gottman found that women in the kind of marriage Eggerichs advocates for, marriages with a power differential, are more unhappy and more likely to divorce. Men in an Eggerichs marriage might be thrilled to have an Eggerichs Stepford wife, but many women in such marriages are miserable. Many women also cite Eggerichs philosophy as the one that empowered their abusive husbands to treat them even worse.

[@vanessapalmer4665]

In fact my ex-husband was very much in the role of dishonoring the children by his words. I'm confused about why they say this is a mom thing. I've only ever seen it wth dads.

[@fluffybabybunny5822]

Absolutely! It is men who largely don't respect women and children. This video is teaching abusive one-sided rubbish.

[@Matt-by3yd]

@vanessa Perkins Palmer it’s impossible for a guy to feel emasculated by another guy, including a dad. I can’t imagine a son feeling disrespected by his dad. That’s not how us guys operate. Yes I can imagine us feeling angry and frustrated and very hurt about our dad. But us guys know how to speak to each other, and respect the code of respect, just like how girls know how to speak each other and respect their code. There’s just something as a guy, when a girl yells at me, that feels different than if a guy yells at me. I’ve been yelled at guys and I still feel comfortable and I’m my place. But when I’m yelled at a girl my heart rate goes way up and I just have a burning desire to deescalate the situation. Us guys are comfortable with other guys and don’t often feel personally attacked by them. It’s just guys being guys. Whereas a girl can strike right at the heart

[@PaperGrape]

This video is specifically towards mothers and sons. That's why it's not addressing men at the time... there's plenty of other content for that.

[@leuannam.94]

@@Matt-by3yd I agree. Recently a pastor said that when a woman confronts a guy, he responds to her like she is another dude. That feels unloving to me as a female, so I started checking my tone when approaching my husband about serious subjects.

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

​@leuannam.94 In what way?

[@isaiahcovington4786]

How do I show this to my mother in the best way?

[@lisamceachern5069]

I don't think there is a wrong way. We moms all want the right words...just takes LOTS of practice for us. Talking to her with love is the most important thing for her. :)

[@fluffybabybunny5822]

No: talking to her with respect is the most important thing. Love comes as part of that. This video is trash. If he loves her he will be respectful towards her

[@NancyASMR]

You just remember that she didn't mean it and remember if she knew this info she would talk differently

[@jeanniemiller5774]

Are there any books by you where boys are expected to respect their mothers?

[@karenwhitney4826]

Don't know about him, but the Bible certainly tells them to honor their mother and father.

[@PaperGrape]

Was there anything in the broadcast that implied that they shouldn't?? Way off beat

[@roseakeju3956]

How do you love & respect your son when he's disrespectful, rude & doesn't weigh his words. He says anything that comes to his mind. To the extent of calling his parents wick just because you don't want him to watch a match.

[@ErinNicole617]

This video tells more about how you don't respect the behavior but you love and respect the SOUL within him.

[@certified2sign]

There are supposed to be 5 videos in the series, but I only see 2. What happened to the others? I have the video guide to go along with them .

[@jenwebster8649]

same here - i was planning on using this series and question and answer form for a small group study starting tomorrow but I can't find the 5 videos that go along with the study.

[@Sistergirl787]

These are KZbin snippets. To get actual videos as part of a purchased series, I perceive it would be best to contact Focus on the Family.

[@vickigeisler3871]

What exactly does Mr. Eggerrichs' mean when he says, "You have to wound a woman at the level of intimacy to get her to stop loving." ?

[@plmiddleton9203]

Do men think that their boss bringing up issues at work is just an excuse to tell him that the boss does not approve of him as a human being? If not, what is different about the dynamic?

[@toomuchinformation]

It's work, survival, the external masculine sphere and therefore different rules apply.

[@moodypet8837]

@@toomuchinformation exactly

[@pamelacrouch7352]

What if a spouse or child is violent? Should that be “respected?”

[@aedanmangan4309]

You may want to seek professional help. You should not have to live in a violent environment.. The ones who are violent may not want to stay that way. Maybe they want to love but need help?

[@shaneanderson7540]

Violence is a level one stoops or lowers them self to to gain respect almost demanding it out of fear that the other party has the upper hand

[@shaneanderson7540]

For sure who doesn't just want to be loved!

[@downbntout]

Respect the person but get help to confront the behaviors/words

[@amandasmith3504]

Violence does not deserve respect. The fact that you feel the need to ask this question just shows how dangerous this series is. Sons should respect both parents. Moms are not to be subservient to their sons.

[@plmiddleton9203]

really don't appreciate the phrase "when the estrogen kicks in" -- the condescension and contempt in Dr Eggerichs' voice is galling. I guess his testosterone kicked in.

[@toomuchinformation]

It comes out at various times in his "Love and Respect" book and interviews.

[@marquisdejustin]

Hormones affect mood, snowflake.

[@godallowsuturns679]

I agree. Sometimes men don’t really understand that.

[@MJ31579]

He's a specialist. He knows the changes that happen in men and women's bodies when they are in conflict. So I think he was saying it as a fact not as insult. Changes in hormones for both men and women is nothing to be ashamed about, it's just science. There is just a long history of women being criticized in that manner.

[@PaperGrape]

@@MJ31579 agreed. People are very sensitive about this, but he's speaking as a doctor. We do have chemical reactions that drive us to spontaneous actions. We all know this keenly.

[@lorainabogado]

how about "sinner"?

[@pamelacrouch7352]

If boys are addicted to pornography, what should moms do about that? Respect their sons?

[@pamelacrouch7352]

These stories about interactions with children are alien to me, especially the part about yelling and then being totally okay after it. I have never experienced that. This is over-generalizing. But if a man or boy knows he is engaged in grave sins, he won’t respect himself, so he won’t even be able to accept respect from anyone else. Infidelity and promiscuity are not going to allow men and boys to feel respected, because they would need to repent first. Women are not responsible for men’s lustful sins, and they cannot change those men and boys by simply acting more respectful. If fact, if the man or boy is being narcissistic, respect will increase the narcissism and the abuse of the woman. Teenage boys will sometimes physically or verbally abuse their moms, and that should be addressed here. Respecting abusers makes them believe that the abuse is having the desired effect, and the abuse could increase and turn into a murder. I have seen this happen.

[@thebesties166]

I’m going through this it’s like my son hates me

[@moodypet8837]

@@pamelacrouch7352 oh the narsasisstic buzz word.

[@stephanieusrey]

Can't get the video to play

[@fluffybabybunny5822]

You're lucky. It's trash

[@praiseb2god724]

@@fluffybabybunny5822 if you have negative feelings about this video, what gives you the right to dissuade others from experiencing it and making their judgements based on their own perspective? Who made you judge and jury of you tube videos? Where's your false sense of grandiose from? I pray for you.

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

There's no Father-Daughter book in the works? Or even Mother-Daughter books? There are a lot of boy moms around, but who's there for the daughter? It often seems that "Boys are loved and Girls are raised?" Boys want/need respect. Girls don't seem to get either.

[@kristinyaekelnegley3978]

Women love to love, but we also can get just as mad and angry as anyone else too!

[@kristinyaekelnegley3978]

I think it’s because we do feel like we do nothing but try to love and take care of our kids, and then if they don’t obey, or are still doing that thing we are constantly telling them not to, etc, we feel like they don’t care about all we do for them, etc

[@pamelacrouch7352]

Basically, pretend to respect your son and husband, no matter what they do? Even if there is infidelity, promiscuity, illegal acts, drug and alcohol abuse, verbal abuse, property damage, irresponsibility, and no sign of repentance? I mean, women can pretend to respect anyone, but if you want them to have a true feeling of respect, do you think that can be manufactured in an atmosphere where the woman is being treated with extreme unkindness? How could that occur?

[@hpetterson2265]

That is not what they are saying at all. Did you actually listen from the beginning to the end?

[@praiseb2god724]

You need to listen to the video again. You may have fallen asleep through some of the vital truths they touched on.

[@PaperGrape]

Some series comprehension issues here... they said nothing of the sort.

[@moodypet8837]

You don't get it

[@evc505]

"There are single mothers as well as regular mothers out there"? Seriously???!!!

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

He obviously meant "married", but using "regular" is a damning single mothers with faint shade.......and he knows it. Sly.

[@wcbscout]

How do you show respect to a young man who is extremely lacking in all areas, effort, behavior, rules, etc. A young man who shows no respect in any facet with his behavior?

[@wilsncz7197]

Why were we wired differently if the man was wired to expect respect?

[@gabriellahsdancingheart8808]

That doesn't sound like a healthy approach for a daughter or a son from a mom. My mom wasn't like that and I don't talk to my daughter like that.

[@kristinyaekelnegley3978]

Really that’s not how we should parent at all. Just getting mad and angry and upset at our kids. I know it’s waaay easier said than done sometimes. I’ve been there!!! But really, why do we think just “going after” abd “coming down on” our kids is the way to parent??!!

[@amandasmith3504]

Daughters don't need respect?

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

The only reason fathers should care for their daughters is because their daughters will be looking after them when they get older and infirm.

[@PaperGrape]

Did they say that??

[@moodypet8837]

You didn't listen

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

​@@PaperGrapeEggerichs has said this.

[@PaperGrape]

@dumfriesspearhead7398 obviously meaning it in a primary need way. Not in a "disrespect your daughters because we only give sons respect" way. Don't be ridiculous.

[@AmberSonsalla]

This is horribly toxic and abusive. How disgusting of all you men to blame women. Lack of "love and respect" for women/mom's for who they are, their role in the home is the problem. This is the definition of blame shifting and victim blaming, it would be comical if your dangerous message wasn't so harmful for women being stuck in abusive relationships because church leaders follow your message and tell women they just need to change or try harder. Where is the loving husband and father figure in this equation?

[@jessicaweaver6916]

I don’t think you actually watched this video.

[@moodypet8837]

He doesn't say that. You have feminist brainwashing

[@jeffreybate1548]

Reminder: THIS one not really helped!

[@MrConsto]

The gentleman in the purple shirt is out of touch. His question are off

[@jonnymack]

The 1950’s called, they want their philosophies for dealing with women back. Hilarious. 23 minutes I’ll never get back.

[@PaperGrape]

You must have missed the part where they get hundreds of emails from families who have been helped immensely by these broadcasts because they actually *listen*

[@rbee2150]

This is gross, and an alarming distortion of scripture. As Christians, we are called to respect all men and women, all sons and daughters. To isolate and identify mothers having to respect sons is creepy at best. What’s next Emerson, that Mom‘s start submitting to their sons?

[@norapease8087]

"Regular mother's" are just "Married" ladies? Yikes!!! ...I'm blessed but making a point...please consider😥

[@TJ-kk5zf]

insecure women will actually PUNISH you for being loving because she's so afraid it will go away she drives it away. their own toxic single mothers create this.

[@bigbapester]

In 1 Corinthians 11, it says Man is the head of Woman. If a woman understands this, she would apply that to her son as well.

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

Little Prince Syndrome.