Relationship OCD and Dating

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In today’s episode, we're going to begin a new series on OCD & Relationships.
Relationship OCD, also known as Relationship Substantiation or ROCD, is a subset of OCD in which sufferers are consumed with doubts about their relationship or their partner. Their mind continuously questions things like their love for their partner, their attraction to their partner, their compatibility with their partner, or their partner’s love for them.
And while having doubts or concerns about your relationship and partner is totally normal.. For people with R-OCD, these thoughts can completely take over their lives and cause a lot of damage to their relationships.
So in this first episode, I am going to share some practical ideas for creating a successful romantic relationship in spite of OCD.
Enjoy
About Matthew Codde:
Matthew Codde LCSW has worked in the field of mental health for over a decade and maintains a specific passion for helping others take their lives back from OCD & Anxiety-Related Disorders. Matt maintains the firm belief that recovery from OCD & Anxiety is absolutely possible, despite what others may proclaim. By utilizing various programs and digital resources, his company, Restored Minds, has helped thousands of people learn the proper evidence-based techniques needed to find freedom from OCD & Anxiety and go on to live fulfilling lives.
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[@Harz77]

Have to keep coming back to this to refresh myself when it happens 😩 just want it all to stop

[@jeffstanley9724]

Thanks for these videos. I've been having some issues with my ocd lately, more on the harm/Intrusive thoughts. My wife is the only one who has been there with me and saw first hand how distraught I become when the thoughts and obsessions start. She's a wonderful human and I couldn't ask for a better person to have with me when these thoughts and obsessions arrive. I can't relate to relationships OCD but I can relate to OCD overall. It's all the same anxious state and worry. So yeah! Thanks again for making this channel I watch it a lot and it helps me understand more that these are just thoughts and anxiety and not Jeff! Haha

[@restoredminds]

you're welcome, Jeff!

[@AshAckerman]

I can't tell you how much this video just helped me. Have been experiencing an episode for the past 3 days now (this stemmed from feeling that he was more into kissing me than I was one night) where I just keep asking myself the same question about the relationship "do I want to be with him or not" I keep saying yes, but am not fully satisfied with the answer so I have to ask myself over and over again and it has been causing me such extreme pain/distress. This video gave me some semblance of mind. Thank you so much for your insight, you explained everything perfectly!

[@restoredminds]

you're welcome, Ashley! happy to help!

[@Harz77]

@@restoredminds I’ve met a girl that ticked all the boxes and have had so much fun within the last three months. I battle with commitment issues probably because I grew up with ocd. I haven’t had ocd for years and years but since this dating it’s really flared up. I genuinely believe I don’t like this girl to the point I feel sick and guilty. But I convince myself so much that even now I’m not sure. What are copying mechanisms for this. Because I really need it right now. And I don’t want to throw away something that seemed amazing at the beginning. And I’m the only one that’s caused the problems not her! I just need a safe word or plan to stop these triggers. They just come in my mind and I can’t shake them off.

[@ALTheFreeMan]

You break this down very well! I believe I struggle with ROCD and it’s kept me constantly seeking the “perfect” relationship. ROCD turns any flaw a person has into a relationship deal-breaker, and I just don’t know how I can ever be in a relationship when I don’t have that feeling of “rightness” with my partner. No matter how good of a person someone may be, ROCD makes me feel like they’re not enough, or, our connection isn’t strong enough, and that i’d be settling by being with them. It really sucks because I’ve dated some great women, and always found a reason to end the relationship and continue on with my search for perfection.

[@oultimonome]

I have just been diagnosed. Thank you so much for giving a name to what I've been struggling with for so long. Thank ever so much

[@restoredminds]

Hello, we offer a FREE MASTERCLASS - 5 NECESSARY SHIFTS FOR BREAKING FREE FROM ANXIETY & PSYCHOLOGICAL STRESS - just visit our website at www.restoredminds.com to register - hope to see you there!

[@PM-bz9ep]

Excellent video

[@Sheidraam]

interesting, thank you!

[@syria5796]

Thanks for your help. I have a question . How long should I keep focusing on her flaw ( nose) as an exposure? And for example if she's turning aside, shall I try to look at the other side to focus on her flaw properly ,or it would be checking compulsion ? Please someone answer.

[@elliottplayle5299]

Hey man, I just don’t know how to date with ROCD. Every time I date any girl, the ocd always pushes it away, no matter who it is. I just can’t feel a connection towards anybody anymore and so I end up avoiding. Any advice please?

[@enesbilen4788]

Have the same problem man, i feel you