Emotional Mastery: The Gifted Wisdom of Unpleasant Feelings | Dr Joan Rosenberg | TEDxSantaBarbara

What often blocks people from feeling capable in life and from having greater success with finances, health or relationships is how they handle unpleasant feelings. Psychologist Joan Rosenberg unveils the innovative strategy and surprising keys for experiencing the challenging emotions that lie at the heart of confidence, emotional strength, and resilience.
Best-selling author, consultant, media host, and master clinician, Dr. Joan Rosenberg is a cutting-edge psychologist who is known as an innovative thinker, acclaimed speaker and trainer. As a member of the Association of Transformational Leaders, she has been recognized for her thought leadership and influence in personal development.
Dr. Rosenberg has been featured in the documentaries “I Am”, “Pursuing Happiness”, & “The Hidden Epidemic” w Dr. Daniel Amen. She’s been seen on CNN’s American Morning, the OWN network, and PBS, as well as appearances and radio interviews in all of the major metropolitan media markets. A California-licensed psychologist, Dr. Rosenberg speaks on how to build confidence, high self-esteem, core emotional strength, and resilience; achieving emotional, conversational, and relational mastery; integrating neuroscience, psychotherapy, and supervision; and suicide prevention. An Air Force veteran, she is a professor of graduate psychology at Pepperdine.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

[@elenakrunic5387]

I was suffering from high level anxiety about 6 months and it was very,very unpleasant experience. At one point, I could not take it anymore so I decided to work on myself as much as I can.. I cannot explain to you guys how much staying in the moment, excepting yourself and believing that everything will pass is essential for your mental health. Experiencing emotions and letting them go was key to freeing myself from anxiety. Now, I am trying to say to everybody that emotions are just EMOTIONS, you feel them and let them go, over some period of time, they'll notice how much less power they have over you so they are gonna to disappear and you'll stay in wonder..Where the heck they are ??? Same goes for bad thoughts.. Take care of yourself people, wish you all peace !!!

[@NolanJohnson423]

Facts! The biggest realization is that feelings are so temporary, and we have the power to build upon good actions and earn real satisfaction

[@brylle349]

You're so beautiful ma'am :)

[@joshlowell3075]

Question: 3 years have passed since you made this comment. Is this method still working or have your emotions found a way around it?

[@ruwan677]

but we have to aware of our emotion and understand what they want to tell us

[@cprogramming1]

Why I am feeling, the emotions are taking control of me and i am not being able to observe or experience them fully? Any suggestions.

[@AuthenticSelfGrowth]

I am naturally quite sensitive and tend to experience strong emotions. This combination of my sensitivity and emotional ferocity was too much for me growing up. This lead me to disconnect and not feel. I am learning to feel again now and I can see how this is having a positive impact on my relationships and whole life. I think this is very important work especially for anyone who struggles with anxiety or depression.

[@eddiebaird8852]

Your probably an empath

[@MichaelEarthOsada]

Try Richard Grannon the Spartan Life coach if you have had some toxic relationships, and Sam Vaknin in more detail. 😉👉

[@veradexter4217]

Authentic Self Guide I can completely relate, it's been a 12 year journey for me to learn emotional mastery

[@TheNicegyrl]

Concur. Many of us have strong feelings and don't have the dexterity or protection psychically to deal with them.

[@nicolerobb9795]

Way to go!

[@mandyg943]

I am in a mental health hospital at present and this video has given me something I cannot articulate right now. I am going to show my clinicians right now. Thank you and God bless.

[@learntocrochet1]

Dear Mandy, May you be well.

[@rhondaclark7939]

I hope your clinicians recognize how this Ted Talk affected you and work with you to expand on that. Regardless of what they do, YOU can move forward with or without them. Get a notebook, take notes on this video and work from there. Practice! You can do this! Use whatever helps! Wishing you health and happiness in the future...❤️

[@irisw3989]

I am wishing you lots of strength and healing. You are already strong - even if you don’t always feel that way.💕

[@mirabelledumirabellier7621]

@@rhondaclark7939 ❤️

[@roxannebarzone756]

Wishing you peace and healing, Mandy.

[@grandmabear2840]

I was lucky enough to instincually bring this wisdom forth this time last year. After 20 years of being on antidepressants. I found when i leaned in to my feeling's and allowed myself to cry. It was similar to when a small child cries really hard, snot running down their faces kind of crying and then takes that 1st breath and says "i feel better now". I now allow myself to feel my feelings, really feel them and then the release and healing comes. I can honestly say "i feel better now" and move on. It may come up again and i repeat the process and im finding i need to do it less and less. Im happy to say i've been off antidepressants for a year now. It was definitely a very helpful tool in my healing

[@djmissy1097]

Congratulations @grandma bear so happy for your growth. I am always living in the present, I acknowledge my feelings. Feel them and then let go. Sending love and compassion your way 😊💜

[@Malaima]

❤️ And I love your user name. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Thank you for what you said and feel. Congratulations so much on this. ❤️❤️❤️

[@marilynzimmerwoman9208]

@@moon_lover01 again go into your own interiority and try to understand what is the source of your anger and frustration. And find words to describe it with the intention of also creating connection and support. Conflict resolution is allowing each person to simply state from their first person point of view what they heard, saw, felt. Speak yours and ask them for their perspective, with the intention of finding a third way. If you are dealing with a narcissist, that is another matter all together.

[@matthewwhiteside9991]

How are you now Mandy????

[@ssj338]

So happy for you!

[@chelletoste488]

Yesterday, I asked God to help me with this very subject...and today I found this. So helpful...Thank you so much.

[@evelynproud8792]

Thats the universe working for you, also known as god 💌

[@kjnightbird121]

@@evelynproud8792 ~More reverently written as God. 🕊🌿

[@elizabethk3238]

The speaker is giving a RATIONAL talk. Why bring fairy tales into it. You might as well as Santa and the Tooth Fairy. Your religious beliefs belongs in your private life not here.

[@kjnightbird121]

@@elizabethk3238 😀😃😄😂 Yes queen elizabeth. 👑

[@elizabethk3238]

@@kjnightbird121 your response shows not just your lack of education, but your line intellect...both common in people who still in 2020, and all scientific proof that there is NO god. Unable to blindly think or question what is shoved down their throats.

[@ahagamama]

YES! Awareness instead of avoidance! The usual reaction is avoidance and denial. Takes courage to stay present and take a breath. This is the essence of Yoga!

[@nicolasaleksandra6722]

Yes it excellent because of self determination and what you have believed that can be so helpful... So how is everything going with you Ana Franklin..

[@jasminbaalss6438]

When you don´t feel your emotions, it gets stuck inside our body and energetic field. When you feel those emotions without judgement although it might be uncomfortable and painful, you are helping it to let go and release those emotions. That is what she is talking about "letting go" and be free of it. The emotions that are stuck inside our bodies and memories in our brain, gets triggered and that´s when we get out of control at times. The worst thing is when we go through painful emotions, we usually attach some negative thoughts to it and it becomes our belief system that holds us back and affects our self-esteem, self-worth and confidence. Well, healing (energy and spiritual healings) is one way of releasing our stuck unwanted emotions.

[@rashuharshu]

so true, i am becoming aware of this as the day goes by

[@elenabout3282]

well said

[@MarcRajotte-hv8hw]

How beautifully said and thank you so so much

[@gilakot]

My goodness!!! She is a fantastic speaker! The pace, the tone, the articulation and the message. I think I found my role model

[@janessapeterson5255]

I know what you mean :)

[@sarangkim6373]

@VV2 The book is very well written and easy to follow. Virtually all of the proposals and suggestions in it resonated with me. I would recommend it to anybody interested in connecting with their soul and attaining a state of infinite peace. I gave the book a 5 Star rating because I truly believe it had transformed my life and set me well and truly on the route to discovering and my soul and connecting with it. It has given me the power to control, instead of being controlled by, my mind p.s. name of this book is "kit for emotional stability" by Daniel Anderson

[@ariyantolim2197]

I agree, her presence really draws attention to her. A really good speaker

[@senthamarair8339]

Me too. Just love to be like her. Am I correct?

[@nationsman4999]

I think the secret is in spontaneousness, because everything that come out with spontaneousness and genuinity is perfect.

[@nakeshasherman766]

All I can say after this; damn woman. You've changed me. I'm going to ride every wave like I've been learning to surf my whole life. I'm young and I care. I wont give up and I feel so passionately. Thank you for the opportunity to see myself in a different light. I can't wait to help the people around me with this wisdom.

[@thanhvan3741]

Ttttte

[@FreePalestineNow111]

That's it... Ride the wave... My small sis told me one day.. sue, they are just emotions, feel them, you won't die.

[@periwinkleblue2]

*@NaKesha Sherman* If you haven't got it, I recommend her book: *90 Seconds to a Life You Love.*

[@tammytipton7875]

You are not boring anymore Joan!

[@drjoanrosenberg6979]

Thank you Tammy. The comment was a catalyst for positive change. Gratefully I have let that one go.

[@Achhantei]

She never was!

[@authenticityinstitute9923]

She never was!

[@ilanitmarks]

Dr Joan Rosenberg Thank you for this talk! This is the second time I stumbled across your talk, and enjoyed listening to you very much both times! Your delivery is brilliant, and your authenticity shines through. Listening to you today, however I feel that something has shifted in me. I look forward to an unpleasant feeling to arise in me, so I can challenge myself to stay present. If I am successful, I can only imagine how amazing my life can be. Thank you again for all you do! :)

[@alineuwiragiye7704]

People will complaints about anything. People say i talk to much. And when i change they say i was too shy.

[@Abe-rz1nm]

When someone says something mean or unkind, it says more about them than it does about you.

[@LelaStrika]

It might be but if they repeat it and we get so weak that our mind accepting it as a truth then it’s really hard to find healing way out of the mess 🙏🏻🍓

[@Zoe-qn6xh]

Yep I had to learn this. We tend to internalize ppl's actions towards us, but we fail to understand that it has nothing to do with us, it's actually letting us know who THEY are.

[@joannagerace2657]

Don’t take things personally :)

[@lorikayser200]

"In-between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom." Viktor Frankl

[@BJ-qi6rp]

I love this quote! It comes to mind very often.

[@nicolejegathesan7056]

I'm using exactly this approach to help my teenager with regular raging episodes.

[@sarahk.6115]

it's only 1 unpleasant feeling called discomfort learn to embrace it and it'll no longer exist fear of distress and distress intolerance holds u back good luck everyone! edit: I almost didn't post this comment due to anxiety :) what are you stopping yourself from doing?

[@peachdreams]

Thank you so much for sharing.. this helped me more than anything :)

[@erioyakawa5211]

I really like this video. But I think she missed one important feeling: FEAR. Perhaps the most important of them all, the base of our vulnerability.

[@lisazorro979]

Guilt, shame, embarrassment, anxiety, depression,,,,,,,,, and ANGER !!

[@tab5865]

She explains the reason for this in her book and other videos. :)

[@erioyakawa5211]

@Over It I think is not a matter of tagging emotions as negative or positive. Perhaps some of them make us feel more comfortable and others not so much, but that's exactly where we find the beauty of life.

[@erioyakawa5211]

@@tab5865 Added to the list , thank you :)

[@tab5865]

@@erioyakawa5211 just finished the audiobook. Incredible! Definitely recommend.

[@johnmichaeladelman]

"It's about awareness, not avoidance." 💯

[@cyndimoring9389]

I remember as a young person I learned to focus on that unpleasant feeling, stare at it, reason my way out of it & it worked!

[@PiaRxxxx]

Hey Cyndi, can you give any tips on that that worked for you? :)

[@cyndimoring9389]

@@PiaRxxxx Hi Pia, thanks for asking. I would immediately notice the feeling of something not right, try to back up to whatever had just happened or been said, or thought that ran through my mind, checking if any of it could have switched the feeling on ....if I could identify it, I could analyze it for validity & often talk myself out of it by reminding myself that it wasn't true, or the comment or experience wasn't about me, or that I was still safe regardless or whatever 'bright side' we tell ourselves to change my perspective on it. It doesn't always work but it's definitely a way to stay ahead of self doubt.

[@PiaRxxxx]

@@cyndimoring9389 Thank you for that long answer, I really appreciate it! Next time, I'm experiencing uncomfortable feelings, I'll try to approach them with your tipps. It will be challenging as I'm just binging and purging at the moment and for the last 10 years whenever I feel emotional pain. So I guess the only way to break the cycle is to break the cycle. Thanks again Cyndi, have a nice day! :)

[@cyndimoring9389]

@@PiaRxxxx very interesting--I'm a retired teacher & am fascinated with brain research & behavioral stuff. I just learned about Borderline Personality Disorder, 1 of the characteristics is impulsivity like binging/purging, as a soothing mechanism. Check out Dr. Ramani's explanations of it on you tube.

[@PiaRxxxx]

@@cyndimoring9389 I study psychology so I understand your fascination with these topics !!! :) Yeah you're totally right, b/p can be related to BPD! For me, it has been Anorexia (Purging subtype) and Major Depression in combination for years ... it has developed into a really complex issue of myself numbing emotional pain and also covering the "emptiness" with artifical "food highs". What subjects have you been teaching?:) And thanks for the KZbin recommendation, I will check out his channel!

[@BeHappyNoMatterWhat]

By feeling my emotions, I have learned that under all my anger, there is deep pain. And letting myself experience my pain despite the initial shame and embarrassment of even having these feelings has been one of the most liberating things I've ever done in my life. Thank you.

[@cecilesuperfree1042]

thank YOU

[@kristin1533]

It takes deliberate practice if you've never done it before. Just saying.

[@frigidmonk]

I am a RAGE MONSTER when experiencing feelings from my past. I do not want to FLASH on my loved one anymore. It’s not me. I will try to be with the feelings in the moment for healings sake. Thank you for your message. I think you are anything but boring. YOU are AMAZING!!!💗

[@IreneL]

So great to see a psychologist talking about this subject. It will help a lot of people for sure. This reminded me of the teachings from Andrew Kenneth Fretwell's book, Emotional Alchemy: The Love & Freedom Hidden Within Painful Feelings which is like a manual for learning and understanding yourself from the 5 elements perspective. A quote from his book: ''Do you ever find yourself saying "yes" to things you don't really want to do, or feeling guilty about saying "no" to others? This can be a sign of an Earth imbalance within you. The Earth Phase also has a lot to do with our sense of boundaries - our ability to confidently say "no" and "yes" in a balanced way. When we can calmly decline things that don't serve us, or embrace things that do, we're embodying the qualities of a strong Earth. When boundaries are not clear it is easy to experience disappointment and manipulation.''

[@tater760]

Excellent talk. I am a SUD counselor, just finishing up a section on distress tolerance and how to deal with unpleasant feelings, and I am going to show this to my clients today. I really like your rate of speech and how simply you explain unpleasant feelings. Very helpful! Thank you!

[@gargeepandey803]

I paused the video several times to rewind and listen again. Thank you so much😘

[@judemull2191]

Me too !

[@susanpenn4015]

Not everyone can do 60-90 seconds. Trauma, ptsd clients need to learn to feel safe while experiencing, and also may have traumatic memories emerge that re-victimize and overwhelm. Finding someone who is trained, who can support and hold space for people who are regularly overwhelmed by feelings can help cultivate the ability to experience feelings in a titrated rather than stoic way, and can lead to healing.

[@annamae4042]

Important point, and well said, thank you. This is not a one size fits all approach. The overriding fight/flight/freeze/fawn mechanisms can prevent us from accessing other feelings until they are soothed and sorted. An important distinction between difficult feelings and a flood of safety behaviour.

[@Lalallalu]

Great comment

[@Karisma7788]

Dr. Joan, you're *not* boring. Thanks for this talk

[@dianaboughner7977]

Excellent! 💖 Thank you. This should be taught in schools, repeated each grade to develop much healthier emotionally balanced people. 😊

[@nicolasaleksandra6722]

Yes it excellent because of self determination and what you have believed that can be so helpful... So how is everything going with you Diana Boughner...

[@kanikamaheshwari9732]

I love how the entire process of accepting one's feelings, going through them and getting out of them has being beautifully explained🧁💕

[@shreyakhandal9163]

This woman makes unpleasant sensations interesting. When I apply her way of dealing with unpleasant sensations, it feels like an adventure while moving through unpleasant sensations.

[@mistieh3016]

Exactly what I needed to hear. And at the perfect time. Thank you.

[@judithfrenette7193]

so true, anxiety or addiction happens when we don't know how to process uncomfortable feelings, thank you Joan, all expressed so beautifully and from years of helping others in practice

[@BalancedwithAlex]

I used to numb out a lot of my emotional experiences because I found them super overwhelming especially being an empath. Now I'm taking small steps to open the door to feeling and being present for my experiences. It's been a journey to get there but I feel so relaxed and free now that I've gotten more of handle on being more sensitive.

[@victoriaparsons4378]

Me too. Especially helplessness… it’s overwhelming. Love to empaths! ❤❤❤

[@JohnFrancis-ey5wm]

Hello 👋

[@kardinalempress]

"You won't feel all these emotions at once" Although there were many useful points in this talk, I believe the steps seem to apply mostly to those who are neuro-typical and come from backgrounds free of significant trauma. If the most relatable story a therapist can tell about negative emotions is being called boring when they were 19, it seems probable that they may lack the empathy to acknowledge the scope of emotions that some are experiencing.

[@oliviaswann4686]

Exactly. Feelings from trauma do not last 90 seconds. I've cried and leaned into unwarranted shame so many times, and I'm still stuck. I'm stuck in anger too, which has made me a decent boxer.

[@tammyeichelberger3446]

I go through depression in winter and anxiety and anger my whole life . Made me a good Blacktopper. I took my anger out with raking and working hard. Now after 35 years of that my body can’t do it. Now I’ve no way to release my anger .

[@NYTruthseeker]

Outstanding talk! Thank you, Joan!!!

[@stephenborland4749]

This rather reminds me of a quote I once heard, "Which teachers do you remember most vividly? " Generally the answer is the one who made you feel you could do anything, and the one who told you you would amount to nothing.

[@twalton33ify]

Wow. So true. After reading your comment I also thought of past teachers and this definitely includes family, co-workers, employees, anyone you come face to face with. I think this is why I feel so deeply about my experiences and why my feelings seem to be changed by others.

[@vsee3154]

I don't get over it in 90 seconds. The feeling of dread and disappointment can last for days of longer.

[@samira2283]

It usually is that way, whenever we are not in an emotionally safe eniroment (with a safe support person, enough time...) because we don´t perceive our enviroment as safe enough, we don´t feel the feeling fully and carry it with us until we feel safe enough to adress it. In my opinion that is very healthy and we shouldn´t pressure ourselves to be done with our feelings in 90 seconds. It´s not practical anyways.

[@luv1yLynn]

True I have been feeling them since yesterday. Actually a lot longer but since I have not been able to deal with them, they eventually recede to where they are there but lying low enough for me to live my life. Until something else happens and there we go again.

[@luv1yLynn]

@@samira2283 I think you are right. I don't feel completely safe in my environment. I always feel like I'm only okay as long as I act normal and gracious. Anytime I've tried to express anything that bothers me to my family I get the response that I am being negative and I should try and be grateful. So, I just agree and shut down.

[@psychologicallyspeaking]

Aika Papa that sounds like PTSD. Have you read “Waking the Tiger?” By peter levine? Good Book. PTSD needs a lot of work, it is a difficult condition to treat and manage, but manage it you must!

[@RB-rn8tq]

@Aika Papa Mindfulness practice may help you. There is even a book about Trauma Based Mindfulness. Maybe you should give it a go. No harm in trying one more thing.

[@CarolaAdolf]

Beautiful presentation. I can almost feel how much you love people. Thank you, Dr. Rosenberg. X

[@susanbernard8511]

Thank you, for your insight delivered with such gentleness and compassion.

[@violetmoon6233]

thank you from the bottom of my heart to give me these tools. I'm amazed &touched

[@marthawoodworth6907]

Applied your methodology today while feeling fear, anxiety and financial loss. I was exhausted and terrified and did what you recommended: identified the parts of my body that were being rocked by these difficult emotions and I "pretended" to be excited by my "unpleasant felings." By the end of the day I had received thousands of dollars, out of the blue. I associate my change of attitude with my sudden "good fortune". I went from denial to acceptance, and I was very much "in the present." In this way, I believe I facilitated one of the best days of my life. Thank you, Dr. Rosenberg. Can't wait to see what happens tomorrow! P.S. I had been tempted to take a substance as a "pick-me-up" but resisted it. Now I am convinced that facing the feelings makes me stronger, and leads to opportunities I would never expect if I had not taken your great advice.

[@drhintjens4915]

Martha Woodworth I guess you are being funny, right? Fortune has nothing to do with allowing waves of emotion to rise and subside without stifling them... Fortune is a wierd, magic-related idea. As if our fate is written in stars, teacups, runes. It is non-sense methinks! Maybe you are serious!? Then I am now experiencing unpleasant feelings of disbelief and confusion!

[@christineandcarlmilitz2883]

What about fear?

[@juliuswakubwa5570]

This is a wow for me, Dr. Joan. Your talk is highly relatable and impactful. Thumps up to you!

[@msmelissalynne]

Dr. Joan, this talk has helped me more than you could possibly know. Thank you so much for this wisdom!!!

[@briejoana.6736]

Thank you! Awesome! Surf the wave. Stay in the presence.

[@barbaranunes9222]

Took copious notes and jumping on my personality surfboard for the thrill of it.

[@lizcoaches]

Dr Rosenberg is incredible! I’m so grateful for her teachings.

[@sagebreezy]

love this needed to hear this

[@jerigarvey3116]

Thank you so much! You deserve a big hug!

[@brynneisafaerie1762]

"What we feel emotionally is felt in the body first as a bodily or physical sensation."

[@MsGnor]

Beautiful and useful talk, thanks Dr Rosenberg :) also simple, easy to remember.

[@GeorgiaJameson]

This just changed my life, thank you 🙏🏼

[@deetran5967]

Wow, what a great insight! Thank you Dr. Rosenberg for sharing your wisdom!

[@kirati]

This is one of most insightful and useful TED talk for me. Really helped me put things into perspective.

[@stravagantares]

One of the most valuable and important ted talks I've ever watched. 🙂

[@tullysoulliere8103]

One of the best talks ever! Wow Thank you.

[@Dr.RivkaEdery]

Absolutely brilliant content and delivery - many thanks! 🌹💐

[@cattisx]

I Love this women!!! Explaining in a great understandably way . I love her calm voice, which surprisingly made even me feel calm. I wish I could meet this awesome cool and wise women. My new big idol! Thank you so very much for informing on this 🙏 This will definitely make my life easier

[@mikevesey4213]

Most useful conversation on “unpleasant” feelings I’ve ever heard. This conversation can heal sooooo much . Thank you!

[@liaabad9065]

Thank you for this talk. Helped me understand a lot of my feelings.

[@bigdec1]

I'm keep coming back to this talk. It really makes sense.

[@christinakavanagh3912]

This is so comforting! I can last 90 seconds!!

[@nicolasaleksandra6722]

that is wonderful and hope you are doing well Christina..

[@cindybriden372]

Great job!!! Thank you for this. I am always running away from my feelings doing everything I can to take me mind off of them but then they may pop up years down the road. I think this is how we were taught to do as a child, or at least I was.

[@nicolasaleksandra6722]

Yes it excellent because of self determination and what you have believed that can be so helpful... So how is everything going with you Cindy..

[@JohnFrancis-ey5wm]

Hello 👋

[@josephinewliu]

thank you so much dr rosenberg... you made my day!! you are really inspiring!! you have encouraged me in great ways!! will look into more of your work as i feel they can help me and people around us.

[@msmelissalynne]

so incredibly helpful!! thank you Dr. Joan & TED!!

[@MikeVeny]

Thank you for your talk and thank you for the work you do. Those unlpleasant feelings, especially anger, have become gold for me as I've learned to process them.

[@nicklee2872]

Wow, Joan! This is my favourite Ted Talk for a long time, you don’t seem boring to me, you come across as a lovely person who is sharp, intelligent and insightful, I wish you were my therapist! This is a method of coping that seems to be coming to me from various angles over the last couple of years of my life and I believe it to be the best way of dealing with your emotions, that being said it is not easy to do all of the time and takes exceptional effort in actual fact but it is well worth persevering with. Those of you who are interested may like to read, Eckhart Tolle, who champions these methods and like Joan is highly inspirational, he suggests a conscious recognition of any unpleasant emotion and for me this seems to work, as soon as I recognise it and accept it somehow things on the whole seem to float away, good luck and big love to everybody, there really are ways to cope in this complicated modern world we live in.

[@mangoyacho]

Thank you for sharing your experience and knowledge. Your insightful talk is exactly what I needed to hear on this very day. I am most grateful!

[@axemanarbor]

I agree . great informative . true for most people . I love watching people like her . thankyou Dr. Your a lovely person .

[@zanthur5337]

Wonderfully , concisely communicated with compassion and confidence, this profound truth needs to be embraced by humanity!Thankyou,

[@creativecompanion]

What a unique voice she has!

[@performanceenergetics5299]

Lovely. What a fantastic exercise. Thank you, Joan.

[@janebaker6595]

Thank you soooo much for your talk,, so helpful.

[@susanparker9916]

In my experience as a psychologist, many people with mental illness tend to have a sort of "stuckness" feature, where they get stuck and dwell on a particular unpleasant feeling. This is what psychiatric medications usually help with. They prevent the person getting stuck in anger, depression, anxiety, etc. Meditation is another great tool for moving forward from these feelings, but it does not work well for some people, especially those who are unable to focus attention for long periods. I do like the simple heuristic that Dr. Rosenberg created. Very helpful advice in this video.

[@sadielaurentiwhitley3762]

Thank you for this lesson and message. I’m writing about grief and joy, this has been one of the most incredible lessons to date, and one that resonates with me and my current research. Thank you!

[@scooter5005]

Thank you - appreciate your gracious words.

[@annieannie1630]

Start welcoming those waves to come. Thank you so much!

[@cjwarden55]

Thank You! You are a Beautiful Woman! Keep Shining!

[@kingzlo]

Literally went over this twice to pay attention. Thank you,

[@riginetay5017]

Thank you Dr Joan Rosenberg for this.

[@seriouslysinglemom3835]

Wow! What an insightful and amazing person. I have been blessed to come upon this talk. This will change me, and I feel the change happening now as I watch. Thank you!

[@cindyclark4438]

Joan touches my heart deeply! Such an amazing Spirit....ouch!

[@psycherevival2105]

Making the choice to stay present also takes loads of practice.

[@DancingQueen311]

Omg, I love your thumbnail photo!

[@RB-rn8tq]

Practicing mindfulness meditation is the fast route to that choice, in my experience.

[@kishankb923]

Actually i dint clearly understand being in present while feeling unpleasant... Pleaae articulate... Regards

[@michaelemonds]

Thank you Doctor Rosenberg for this invaluable life lesson.

[@ItsWillieGirl.1960]

Wow Dr. Joan!! I'm so thankful to have found this presentation nearly 2 years to the date of publish!! Blessings & appreciation from Lompoc, CA in Santa Barbara County!!

[@Maidenvoyager1]

Makes sense, unless you’re depressed, in which case that “wave” of feelings doesn’t recede. It can stay and stay until you are drowning.

[@Tamarahope77]

The theory is that most feelings recede, unless something happens where we get caught up in them, and secondary emotions are added, like anxiety over anxiety, or guilt over sadness, or shame over anger, or frustration over a feeling not going away.

[@elijahgarcia5504]

In that case dont surf the waves just get a life jacket and a boat!😂😂

[@Leoo117]

Actually, the refusal to deal with, or just not knowing how to deal with unpleasant feelings is what maintains a person's depression. Those feelings never really go away unless they are properly felt. It's the build up of those feelings over time that causes depression. You cannot drown in them if you allow yourself to feel them and move through them as they come. You have to feel it to heal it. The fear you run from gets bigger, but the fear you look at disappears.

[@Kianne007]

As a sufferer of depression off and on all my life; I feel you. It took a lot of digging for me to resolve. I found that about 50% of it was physical. Food allergies/sensitivities was a big issue for me. One thing I learned in therapy was to try one thing at a time and to observe myself carefully to see if it helped, and what percentage I felt better. Cutting out foods I was out right allergic to stopped mood swings. Cutting out sensitivities reduced feeling of depression by 50% easily. Now I am trying to break habits I've had due to the depression. Daily things like not excercising. That's my next goal is to build that in and make it my own. After that I'm going to tackle circumstances. Little by little I have improved my brain health, learned coping, and my depression is lifting. Good fortune to you in your search for health.

[@georginajovanovic]

And all cured when we have decent friends

[@evelyngenis6151]

Dear Dr Joan, I was quite surprised fear wasn't on the list. To me fear is the hardest emotion to deal with... should it be approached differently than the 8 you mentioned?

[@richardlitwin4046]

This is a good talk. Thank you Joan.

[@kellyr6116]

Thank you TEDx and Dr. Joan Rosenberg for this. So helpful, so powerful.

[@priyamohan8253]

Thank you for this insight and wisdom Joan! I actually had a rough day today around my work and allowed myself to feel those unpleasant feelings, everything from vulnerability, frustration to overwhelm. I gained really important insight and made a declaration for support... I may not have done that had I kept trying to hustle through and avoid how I was feeling. What you are sharing is an important empowerment tool. Practical, easy and enlightening - thank you!

[@drjoanrosenberg6979]

Thank you Priya. It often takes experiencing and moving through feelings till we gain the insight. Well done!

[@rajkumarnatarajan9399]

@@drjoanrosenberg6979 I have an issue here when I try to reexperience an unpleasant feeling I end up reliving it for days with growing intensity. they never subside. what is to be done then ?

[@gbaby2471]

Love this idea!!! This should be taught in school.

[@dianepahl3966]

P

[@djmissy1097]

I do mate and it works. Sadly mainstream didn’t see it as positive as both the students and I saw. So went in it alone and so glad I did. I spreading the positivity. Sending love and compassion your way 🙏😊

[@Aleksandra.DaGreat]

@@djmissy1097 How so? I too left a career with teachings that just DON’T WORK. I couldn’t be part of the problem but, still no solution.

[@kristin1533]

Yes. It is a life skill.

[@djcypod]

This was beautiful, I loved the wave analogy.

[@AliciaHostetler]

Thanks for this one, I really needed it.

[@Coach_Iris]

One of the most influential speeches I have ever heard. Thank you.

[@scotleoqueen704]

This is my #1 most helpful Tedx vids I've ever seen. I began that very day to ride the waves of feelings & the transformation to my inner self was almost immediate, thank you!

[@nicolasaleksandra6722]

Hello Pretty

[@goldilocks913]

I’m in love with the Doc! Brilliant, thanks so much for this 🙏

[@Heidilambach]

Thank yog and thank you again. This was absolutely brilliant and it really helped me!

[@lesliealan6600]

Dr. Rosenberg, So GRATEFUL for this content! I'm a social worker in New York, and will now be following you and your work. In my adult, mental health relapse recovery group, I've been looking to help our participants define what feeling well feels like in their bodies, and come up with words to describe what this is rather than the absence of symptoms. Your content is exactly where I wish to continue to take the curriculum, and am looking forward to exploring more of your work. Best to you, and many thanks, Leslie

[@MsGnor]

Good luck to you Leslie. You're doing awesome work. Lovely approach, your recovery group are lucky to have you xx

[@throughjenslens44]

The ocean waves/emotion analogy is spot on and is a connection I made many years ago. It's one reason why I feel so peaceful being by the ocean. It reminds me that the waves of life come and go, like waves of emotion. Watching the waves and listening to them crash against the shoreline helps me to be present and not fall into a state of judgment.

[@AnaTai3]

Wow, so cool for you that you did! I sure could have used this, as far as I can recall since around age 5!!

[@jovanovska.r]

Fantastic ! Touched me deeply .. and changed my perception 🙏

[@kjnightbird121]

OUTSTANDING & to the point! Should be required learning in this day & age. ~Thank you Dr. Joan 💐💚🌎

[@galina5529]

so soothing intonation ,tembre and manner of speaking

[@raviwalsh3963]

Totally concur! This is an amazing life-changing practice that I told many people to do for years but only saw the results when I committed to doing it, every day if necessary.

[@rohitbhatia1507]

The example drawn between waves and feelings is exemplary. Thanks for sharing this meaningful Talk.

[@shaneborg3717]

Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. You are indeed a qualified Master😊