Rituals for Your Relationships - Letters from Esther Perel

[@colettebotha7400]

I work 15000km from home. Every morning my partner makes a video call to wake me and even "brings" me a cup of tea in bed (although he does not drink tea himself). This, despite the difference in time zones. Once a month we have a virtual dinner date. I am blessed.

[@blugirl214]

So beautiful

[@natalierachellouisesantana]

The break up party 😭💗😭💗😭 Anyone reading this going through a break up, I would come to your party. You are so loved and you will have the best love and moments of your life moving forward ⛵️❤️

[@aperson2730]

Good rituals make your life rich, good routines keep you rooted 🙂

[@GoOutside321]

YES!!

[@solireid425]

When separating after 18 years, my former husband and I sat down together in our back yard. We took our rings off (or out of our pockets) and placed them in a beautiful wood box. Then we said a few words, expressing gratitude to each other and commitment to a loving co-parenting path. This ritual came out of an impulse I had, but I think it was really positive and helped us show that we value each other and our time together.

[@mistressevamzonia7087]

Hello I can recomend you to someone that helped me get my ex back recently he can also help you just as he did mine too

[@mistressevamzonia7087]

Text him on WhatsApp

[@mistressevamzonia7087]

+1,97,1,264,29,10

[@monahritcu9383]

You're a treasure of our world. I am now on your second book and I've never read something more whole, special and with such insight into human relations. I felt sad, i cried, i laughed, felt turned on and turned off, disappointed, enlightened and hopeful reading your books. I wish you'd write more books, you know people more than anyone, i think. You're such a hard worker and passionate human. Open and non judgemental... You have a special aura and a special place in the universe 💚

[@FleurOlivia]

What a testimony- I think I will give her books a try too

[@Suzannebuisdroomdenker]

I love the rituals 🥰 And I also organized a break-up party (long ago), to thank my friends for helping me get the courage to escape from a bad relationship and to help deal with the practical affairs. In Dutch I called it my ‘scheidfeestje’. It means ‘divorce-party’ and it sounds the same as ‘shit(e)-party’ 💩😉 Make it a good one, make it the start of your love-life 😘

[@flyingcrew2640]

I love her honesty, wisdom and just no bullshit.. Every time I hear her I want to learn more. Go Ester

[@josephinewliu]

Routines are concrete repetitive actions that help us develop skills while creating continuity and order. Rituals are routines elevated by creativity, driven by intention, and imbued with meaning.

[@SexMusicPlants]

Yes...

[@blugirl214]

This 🖤🤍

[@sadhvisangaofficial]

She is a queen of wisdom

[@izitzelCC]

My ritual is cooking in Zoom as we have a long distance relationship and it has become a nice way to bond for my boyfriend and I. We started a few months ago and it’s once a week or when we don’t feel like cooking we just order a dish, sit in front of the camera and talk.

[@irenekara8525]

We do the same♡

[@alessandraburgert1713]

You are amazing Esther. You and Jordan Peterson are my favorites!

[@livelaughlove4635]

Same here! Marisa Peer is also very good.

[@dwinsemius]

I hope you get enormous reward from the energy that you are unleashing from within all these romantic people around the world.

[@thisgustin]

Is closure really that necessary when moving on from a relationship? I've heard from various, well-resourced sources that it may not always be needed, that it should start within yourself in order for you to move past the turmoil/hardship of the breakup. The truth is, your relationship with yourself is the most important one in your life. It is the foundation of any other relationship, so it makes sense to prioritize and nurture it. If you love someone else more than yourself, you will always compromise too much, ignore the red flags, get hurt, and lose yourself in your relationships. You can’t love in a healthy way unless you learn to love yourself first (whether it's learning when single or from past rels). Also, the love for yourself will help you set stronger boundaries in relationships, protect yourself, and find the courage to walk away from any relationship that doesn’t serve you.

[@aperson2730]

0:59 Lovely definition of what a ritual is Esther

[@manarelsakka7531]

Regards from Egypt, my husband and I have a weekend ritual of him preparing coffee and chatting on everything or nothing..just enjoying each others company..

[@lindaseabourne7346]

I enjoyed this subject so much. Rituals are the soul of the relationship.

[@HerAeolianHarp]

Married 18 years. Middle aged. Overburdened parents. We try to boost Wednesdays into "Wedded Wednesdays" at least twice a month. Wine. Cheese. Crosswords. No phones.

[@anjalithangavelu6929]

Oh…. Wow …. That’s awesomely

[@jaxonellis2995]

Whenever she says "Tink" as in think...I get chills...I'm crushing hard on EP!!!

[@saniaasan]

Recently, my mother and I decided to meet for breakfast at a cafe every other Wednesday, so that we get our exclusive mom and daughter time, outside of the larger circle involving her husband and my husband and extended friends and family. We meet tonight (Friday night) for dinner as a foursome, but I'm happy we've started this fortnightly ritual that is our very own, in the middle of our busy work weeks. :) Something to look forward to!

[@amys.210]

So brilliant Thank you for you videos. Miss your Podcast

[@maggie-haab]

I agree, Esther Perel is a treasure.

[@ingemaritwielinga5339]

thanks again Esther! Rituals are so important to celebrate and to mourn

[@dwinsemius]

I think footrubs might be a good strategy for a ritual. It is so much fun watching your efforts to promote ongoing excitement in relationships. (In a 40 year relationship.)

[@elenaalexi]

Absolutely brilliant. Thank you! Loved the short format. Already thinking what rituals I can bring into my life, particularly into the relationship with myself.

[@belindaweber7999]

I loved the "Where should we being" podcast and the one about work. So delighted to now know about this KZbin channel too! Thanks Ester this is great.

[@Kyraanastasia]

This was super, but I prefer the longer workshop format. This left me wanting to hear so much more. Thank you Esther and team.

[@hasibsadat3315]

BZ a z X🎉☺️☺️☺️c , .zero ,z azzz.z,,.,☺️☺️😉😉☺️zzzz as xx C Zazz.se☺️ ,.z.z!😉 ll!! X. 🎁NBCc .xx..

[@svetlanauderman5994]

Dear Esther, Thank you very much for another wonderful and exceptionally powerful workshop! תודה רבה! 💕🌸💕🌸💕

[@soyandoat4106]

Gosh Dr. Perel is just so smart

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

I'm a new Dating Coach but I believe you are the BEST dating coach of our time!!

[@carriehobbes2448]

Enjoyed that. Just wish it lasted longer. I like a regular hour long dose of Esther! (Watching Whom, I just realised is one of MY lockdown rituals 🙂)

[@Samantha275551]

When I was on a long distance relationship, we had a everyday ritual. We used to choose a song for each other. We email the video explaining why that song was chosen, and why we dedicate it to each other. It started because he said that he used to play on his acoustic guitar the song "Something", by Beatles, thinking on me. That made my heart melt down for him!

[@mistressevamzonia7087]

Hello I can recomend you to someone that helped me get my ex back recently he can also help you just as he did mine too

[@mistressevamzonia7087]

Contact via WhatsApp

[@mistressevamzonia7087]

+1(971),,264,,2910

[@Samantha275551]

@@mistressevamzonia7087, thank you! But I don't want to get my ex back. We chose different ways! That's ok. Life goes on!

[@eaSophia]

Couldn't join while it was live but once I have time I'm catching up! Esther thank you for this series and I hope you will continue doing this!

[@naglaahussien4019]

You are my favorite.. always inspiring , professional & beautiful 💝😘⚘

[@noeliliff3333]

Great advice on rituals! I use some each day and they do elevate me quickly!

[@sophieblooming8555]

Breakup party 🎉 such a brilliant idea! When one relationship withers, you surround yourself with a gardens of caring relationships and rediscover your value and strength from it!

[@ancabostinariu6550]

Great speaker and very clear and concise. Love it.

[@FEWEDZI]

Always a pleasure to hear from you Esther

[@HealthCoachingwithKatie]

Wonderful! I love this idea of rituals. They really create space and magic in the moment 🪄

[@elaestioko7655]

My long distance bf and i will have again our morning date this wednesday, and already i thought about a ritual to make our coming date memorable...am excited..thanks Esther ❤

[@XMB101]

Thank you very much for this video.

[@shekar222]

LOVE YOUR HAIR- color and texture 😍

[@sonnienjaumic]

Short and sweet. Loved it!

[@lindamorgenstern3519]

Shalom from Germany, dear Esther - love Your insides & revelations :)

[@daveelruiz9157]

Hello Linda Morgenstern, How are you doing today? Its really nice having you on here.. I saw your profile on here and i think we definitely are on the same page on many levels. Trust, communication, loving, honoring, God-fearing, understanding, patience and respecting your partner. So crucial to provide balance. This is what creates such great chemistry between two people that are committed to one another.

[@AllegedlyMaybe]

I needed this! Always on point Esther!

[@elenigros]

I confess I am trying to read the titles of her books.

[@ChocolateJewels]

You’re not alone 😂😂😂😂 No luck, though.

[@LikeToWatch77]

Zoom and enhance!

[@nickisamuels3040]

K

[@Karen-ot4mg]

Lol!

[@janakhabouri8271]

Shorter workshops are good!

[@noraj.7383]

Rituals r so important to strengthening the relationship that u matter

[@briana14333]

Love this. Thank you!

[@sayusayme7729]

Thank you so much, loving this. 💗

[@esrasees]

Thank you. In summary we need to make an union of 2 people with shared experiences, things, places, likes and so on.

[@SARGENTO007A]

This was very interesting and useful. Thank you!

[@yaniquehume5211]

When I divorced, my ex and I went to the ocean and deposited our rings and offered a prayer and flowers.

[@SexMusicPlants]

I went alone, but yes, all of this!

[@Nangondo]

Yall crazy... its ending... let it gooooo....

[@beautifulrose8619]

I would have taken the rings off your hands

[@sarahmartinez1021]

😢That’s beautiful

[@natalierachellouisesantana]

This is sweet and wonderful, thank you! 🥰❤️🙏🏽

[@JocelynCleolette]

I love Rose's story.

[@marig14707]

Would love to hear more about how to create healthy distance and playfulness in a marriage with young children or more than your typical 2 child family.

[@seymorepencilart]

I was just thinking: In a friendship, I think especially same sex relationships, rituals are created instinctively. That’s something I think that is replaced with intimacy/sex in romantic relationships- and that puts a lot of pressure on that aspect of the relationship. I think sex definitely should hold meaning, but maybe it shouldn’t be the bearer of so much relational weight. As Esther says, “Sex is a place you do, not something you do.” That quote has stuck with me ever since I heard her say it. Thank you, Esther! I hope you are well!

[@reneetobin5158]

Sex is a place you go..

[@lizakoyounoglou1517]

Thank so much. This was so inspiring. My first one and I look forward to your next t one. You made me realize the true meaning and value of rituals. And I agree with Eleni, a great opportunity and idea to create rituals to honor you. Thank you, again.

[@montserratsolis2815]

I love that meaning about removing things from last relationships, many people refuse to remove it from their life and deniying still meaning something for them. But at the end this does not allow us to make real space for a new person.

[@mikecares368]

Esther please talk on emotional affair and the evolution of the dynamics between both parties of the affair.

[@lenorashepard1146]

Greatttttttttttttttt!

[@terrywade3696]

“Our story”. So much is packed into that phrase! This is what every woman thinks she has with the man she loves & is married to. She thinks that’s what they’re doing. Writing “Our Story”. Until, she discovers he’s writing another story with someone else but still pretending they still have a story! Whatever was real for her, is no longer real for him! He’s writing chapters in “His Story” that don’t include her. She was simply omitted. Devalued. Replaced without her knowledge! Discarded. She wasn’t even important enough to him to even have a discussion about the end of “Our Story”! “His Story” stole all of her choices. Their decades together meant nothing to him! She’s shattered into a million little bloody pieces. Now that “His Story” is exposed & he “gets” what he’s done to her and he’s ashamed & wants to save their “story”, and do the difficult things to repair their “story”, he will have to understand that for evermore, “Our Story” will include the ugly chapters of the “Other(s)”. It will never be the same “story” that it once was. He murdered that “story”. He will never “shine” in her eyes again. Even if she chooses to continue with him & write a new story. He changed her when he broke her.

[@stuckupcurlyguy]

Esther Perel has made some good videos on infidelity, they might help you out.

[@GoOutside321]

No one “breaks” you; you have a choice about how you feel. Your reality is simply your reality; you should read Ester Perel’s State of Affairs. Peace and love be with you❤️

[@terrywade3696]

@@GoOutside321 Yes, I own & have read “State of Affairs”. Unless you’ve been through what I’ve been through, you can’t judge my feelings. Only I know what brokenness I feel. That doesn’t mean I’m defeated. Until you’ve suffered real grief, you can’t know what feelings will consume you. You don’t choose them. You can only choose to rise above those feelings which can take a very long time to process. Some people feel things more deeply than others.

[@latinaalma1947]

@@terrywade3696 Terry I want you to know you can heal yourself and your relationship. You are very hurt right now and think your relationship can never be the same. It will be a different relationship and perhaps it. will be even more tender and important to you in the future. This has happened to me.....as we healed, our relationship became unbreakable. We each KNEW because we had had other partners before meeting in our late 30s, we knew there was no other person out there who would ever mean to us what we had meant to each other. Instead of the relationship being not what it was at the beginning, it has grown to mean everything to each of us. Now in our 70s we have the happiest relationship we have ever seen a couple have. Forty years of joy with one year of it being sorrowful. We are romantic, sexual, caring, thoughtful of each other.... sometimes it seems we have been together all our adult lives...then other times it seems we have just gotten to know each other...it is a constantly rrenwing relationship...it is what each of us lives for now...the other person and to,enjoy our time left together intensely every day. May you find the peace to heal and to build a new stronger and happier relationship than it was before your time of sorrow.

[@AJ-ls7tn]

I feel you. You explained it soooooo deeply. So completely how I feel even at this very moment. He shattered my heart. He wrote a story with another. He took her to friends homes and did activities that should have been for he and his wife. He shared photos with what I thought were our friends....and the worst one...he had a baby with her. I'm still here. Fighting with the dilemma of if to stay or if to go....never in a million year would have thought he would have done this to me....22 years of our history erased. I'm still broken and hurt. So yes...I feel you

[@saromaliga5937]

So good♥️

[@olgapurley9026]

Your content is priceless, I mean you are amazing, and I just wanted to say that you look amazing and so pretty that I was shocked!! Thanks for "tanto".

[@mistressevamzonia7087]

Hello love is priceless, I can recomend you to someone that helped me get my ex back recently

[@mistressevamzonia7087]

Contact on whtsap

[@mistressevamzonia7087]

+1(971)-,264-,2910

[@normivers8982]

Thank you , good advice . Wish i had known many years ago , i might have been a better person .

[@magrethmoshy4135]

Hi. You are still alive, meaning you still have a chance to be better, and do better... Never too to start. Hope you have a good day.

[@joannaskwirska5760]

Love it💓

[@johamixx_]

Thanks for this! ♥

[@paulgallagherexpress]

Just in time!

[@susansegal8969]

Enjoy your You tube videos but I really miss your podcasts

[@annmarieouthet1250]

The Breakup ritual is such a great idea!

[@daveelruiz9157]

Hello Ann Marie Outhet, How are you doing today? Its really nice having you on here.. I saw your profile on here and i think we definitely are on the same page on many levels. Trust, communication, loving, honoring, God-fearing, understanding, patience and respecting your partner. So crucial to provide balance. This is what creates such great chemistry between two people that are committed to one another

[@mistressevamzonia7087]

Hello I can recomend you to someone that helped me get my ex back recently he can also help you just as he did mine too

[@mistressevamzonia7087]

Kindmt text via WhatsApp

[@mistressevamzonia7087]

+1(971)-,264,,2910

[@midoann]

Great idea to highlight this topic, I'll practice and create rituals, will make my life and others more fun and interesting

[@daveelruiz9157]

Hello Ana Midori, How are you doing today? Its really nice having you on here.. I saw your profile on here and i think we definitely are on the same page on many levels. Trust, communication, loving, honoring, God-fearing, understanding, patience and respecting your partner. So crucial to provide balance. This is what creates such great chemistry between two people that are committed to one another

[@hx24662]

wow. love this

[@abbygiraldo9022]

Je vous adore ❤️

[@disiakay]

With so many rituals, in all cultures, over countless years, shouldn't we have been celebrating a better world?

[@frydays04]

I miss this voice ... where have you been !!

[@lovelee9315]

I want this in my relationship, my guy us a clinical psychologist. He is resistant to this. Fur him its tiring to HAVE to do anything outside of his work. Because it still feels like work? How can we have this, but not drain him more?

[@laurafahey542]

Luv thus on the tooth paste thks ;)

[@davidsanders4826]

Ester......your so romantic so creative so energetic x

[@practicalsaint]

😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰🤟🏼🙏🌈🌈🌈 beautiful,thank you beauty 💕💕💕

[@lizbethmelby8780]

Great content.

[@DeeMonaVanilla]

Omg I love your hair !!!!!!!!

[@victorbriceno3218]

I missed you! I love you !

[@mariaderubeis4442]

thank you for this

[@daveelruiz9157]

Hello Maria DeRubeis, How are you doing today? Its really nice having you on here.. I saw your profile on here and i think we definitely are on the same page on many levels. Trust, communication, loving, honoring, God-fearing, understanding, patience and respecting your partner. So crucial to provide balance. This is what creates such great chemistry between two people that are committed to one another.

[@marycallan1937]

Thanks

[@olga998123]

I miss the podcast!

[@meenakshikhatri8549]

Do you decide to create a ritual together or just see if they reciprocate to your deeds?

[@80sweetart]

How do you break rituals and routines that are not good for you and your partner?

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

Stop doing them...do something new.

[@aperson2730]

A good way to break bad habits is to replace them with good habits.

[@kellynoel77]

Rituals are done with intention. I think it would be powerful to reframe this “not good” behavior as a bad habit instead. Habits cannot be extinguished; they can only be changed or replaced. There’s a great book called The Power of Habit. The first 3 chapters are all about how to change habits.

[@laurafahey542]

So great thk u I will start rituals how fun ;)

[@daveelruiz9157]

Hello Laura Fahey, How are you doing today? Its really nice having you on here.. I saw your profile on here and i think we definitely are on the same page on many levels. Trust, communication, loving, honoring, God-fearing, understanding, patience and respecting your partner. So crucial to provide balance. This is what creates such great chemistry between two people that are committed to one another.

[@biancaflux1]

How do you differentiate between traditions and rituals

[@pacolli]

favorite divorce ritual: reading Heartburn by Nora Ephron over and over

[@paulgallagherexpress]

Replay!!!!!YAY!!

[@wolfbane1996]

Reminds me of Victor Turner's liminal space

[@mytablet3959]

I recognized the belgian accent straight away after 10 seconds 😉

[@alforliniteaching5670]

Silly to think life is without trouble. Peace.:-) :-)

[@robinkaplan6291]

Esther, I love you. Either pin your hair back or let if hang over your eye, like it's designed to do. It's so distracting to watch you continually try to get it off of your face. Yes, I love you and you've helped my relationship dramatically!!!

[@mistressevamzonia7087]

Hello I can recomend you to someone that helped me get my ex back recently

[@mistressevamzonia7087]

Text him on WhatsApp

[@mistressevamzonia7087]

+1(971)-,264-,2910

[@akashtiwari5729]

💜🌻

[@leneekay1]

Getting out of one. Tired of the complaints.

[@joshikawale25]

Hi Esther, I wanted to ask a question or basically needed you to touch upon a topic that affects a lot of couples, where do I reach out to you in order to suggest this? If you read your KZbin comments, can you talk about a Partner being affected by sexual harrasment/ abuse/ assualt in any form and struggling from episodes of relapse of the trauma, I am sorry if my terminology is wrong but basically how can that person communicate and understand their broken relationship with their body and then further on communicate with their partner about it. How can the other partner understand/ assist in this. How this can hurt the sexual and erotic component of the relationship and how it can be repaired with small tools?

[@chaserandazzo3738]

🙏✨💜🍀💐

[@laurafahey542]

Want a relationship / almost 55

[@johndonaldson3619]

ahahaha!

[@mainadahlia2292]

You'll have one ;) maybe try to invent the opportunity yourself... I mean to not look for a door but create the door... Best wishes 🥰🥰

[@stormiewhiton7986]

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[@jimsimpsom555]

The political nephew evolutionarily sip because tortoise intialy bake outside a ugliest fiberglass. magical, enormous decrease