5 Practices to Nurture Your Relationship Beyond Valentine’s Day - Letters From Esther Live

Warring with your partner? Have you been more AT each other than WITH each other?
One day in February isn’t going to change anything, but it can be a start if you let it. Valentine’s Day doesn’t just have to be a once a year holiday to prove your love. It can serve as a big red reminder that, as Terry Real says, “relationships are our biospheres.” And ecosystems need to be nurtured.
Have you been unkind? Unfair? Downright mean? Holding onto a grudge? What do you need to do for the health of this ecosystem? What’s something surprisingly thoughtful you could do?
In this workshop, we’re taking taking a look at what you can do to boost the health of your relationship ecosystem this month.
I’ll be discussing this month’s newsletter on using the month of love as a step in nurturing your relationship.
Letters from Esther Perel is a monthly newsletter and free workshop series created to help you deepen your connections through reflection and action. Sign up for the series here: bitly.com/lettersfromesther

[@stacey102]

Hi Esther, I found out my partner of 9 years cheated on me while he was overseas visiting his family. I found out the day after you posted this video 😢 I wanted to say though that you have helped us so much. The last month would have been so much more darker for me if I didn't have you. Thank you ❤️

[@dominique7490]

The more love and connection you feel to your partner on a daily basis, the less significant and important Valentines Day is. Truly, would you rather have most days be filled with connection, attention, love, kindness, thoughtfulness or one day? I feel like the people that make a big deal out of VD feel a disconnect with their partner. I am a firm believer in the Love and Respect cycle between a man and a woman. If a man feels respected, he is far more inclined to be loving towards his wife/gf, and if a woman feels love from her man, she is far more likely to be respectful of him. In no way am I implying subordination, simply respect. And don’t wait for the other person to start behaving correctly or better. YOU start. ❤️

[@sgaidola76]

We need to stop putting emphasis on this supposed “special day” because the real work is the everyday with your partner. These BS holidays put so much pressure and expectation to make people to perform a certain way. I’m glad I am not feeling “left out” on days like this. I know I am enough without this particular day. 💗

[@ImStrangeThing]

19:55 "You are a source of joy and pleasure to me" how beautiful

[@drsranjanconsciousnesscoac6833]

17:27 small - small things matter most.

[@daniellesagang1037]

Modern loneliness, lack of depth. Thank you Esther.

[@maryrincon3922]

I love your plant! It's beautiful like you

[@andreasesma3663]

Hi Esther, you are a wonderful person to take the time to help us women. I tend to keep silent when I get offended it and detached. This really helps me to analyze my behavior. Thank you.

[@margalu9946]

Thanks!!!! Lovely.

[@karenboydston6825]

Thank you!

[@Enelaist]

It's always a pleasure Esther! Thank you for this!

[@theresas.3808]

I love your advice. It is very helpful!

[@cassandrabuitron427]

Thank you Esther!

[@parkerparker8112]

Such a timely topic

[@bardoteachings]

Thank, dear teacher! 😍🧡

[@clemboslice6427]

Esther you are so so wonderful, you are helping me change my life. I have got it wrong for so many years and you're helping me get it right. I cannot thank you enough. With genuine love and thanks, Clement

[@fardawsayusuf4852]

OMG I AM SO GLAD YOUR BACK. ❤️

[@v.annabonac2913]

So true. Thank you.

[@awakenedheartyoga7895]

I just love your insights & am so grateful that you take the time & effort to share them with us. 🕉🙏

[@kdh6505]

Much agreement

[@moniquecm1144]

❤️❤️love seeing you ❤️❤️

[@stephaniefortney22]

Thank you Esther for putting this out here for all of us, I enjoyed listening to your Episode, So so Good, and heartfelt…. relationships are work, it’s daily Effort if you wish to have it all … truly a Gift to receive your insightfulness and knowledge, we never stop learning thank you for giving this to all of us…. You have a wonderful impact on myself, Grateful 🌷🌷🌷

[@Ezel17]

I always enjoy your content, the reflections you provide and the questions that are opened. For me, this was my second valentine day with my current partner. We couldn't be together that day, but we agreed to meet today (2 days after the date). Inspired by this month's newsletter, I proposed that we could do a game night at home, just the two of us, and start a tradition of Valentine's day as a date when we can play and explore together. I'm looking forward to tonight.

[@priyankadeyray243]

I love you Esther

[@frankzanotti1083]

Hello from Canada

[@valentinavijay6086]

Love to Esther from India

[@nancyyancy5199]

Love the book proposal! True, I figured Valentine's Day was just another marketing thing of this era, eau contraire, well, it could be of this common era, though it is steeped in history. Perhaps my brain will be unstuck soon or not.

[@user-nn7mn9xu4v]

#replay im from Israel ..as a Jewish i realized that i have nothing to do with this image of valentine's ..but as u said wisely the same in b.d and Holliday ... Thank you as always 💕

[@karenboydston6825]

Hello from Anna Maria, Fl.

[@leanaevans5365]

Thank you for addressing all the triggers Valentine’s Day brings up. I am in a beautiful relationship with an incredibly generous man and it still tends to feel shameful when your lover doesn’t shower you with gifts, words or tokens for others to see on fb. I hope we all will celebrate each other more.

[@taviparker4993]

It’s very liberating not to be tied down to birth dates, anniversaries, valentines. I feel loved every day. And my husband feels loved. That’s what counts

[@JamesTheSecond01]

Typical modern women has a good man at home but still not satisfied till he does what social media feeds her lol

[@Candleflower42]

I think if people didn’t expect so much from a certain day, or even life for that matter, they’d be a lot happier.

[@szrnkabela3811]

I‘ve been divorced for 4 years and my bday is on 02.19 which I don‘t celebrate since then. Good points from you.

[@edbuell3181]

Happy Birthday. I hope you did a little something for yourself❤️

[@33Jenesis]

I refuse to let these designated days dictate my mood or relationship. Love is lived in everyday. Celebrating designated occasions is pageantry and ceremonial in nature. I understand the importance of pageantry and ceremony for most people. If they are important to you as reminder or milestone, celebrate or make fuse. If they are not, don’t make a big deal. Hopefully everyone is in agreement. If not, give and take. If my partner is big on ceremonial, I’d consent, to a degree.

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

I totally agree that you should be caring Everyday... but Valentine's Day feels Mandatory if your not in LOVE. When your in a happy relationship you can't WAIT to do something special for your partner. Your happy to have this Special day to show your Partner you love them. Yes you should do special things everyday but... Valentine's day matters. No excuses.

[@DougGunty]

Found the Text's from the Gym trainer last week... as bad as it is we still got a heart shaped pizza and had a family movie night with the kid. Our only really bad v day as a couple , full re-set full emotional and pent up issues dump, currently in the stay or leave stage. But at least we are honest and weight is lifted.

[@amcastillo]

Ooh noo!! 😢

[@whadis404]

I’m a lifetime of trauma survivor I give til it hurts Very flexible But terribly sensitive Triggered easily

[@dominique7490]

Give to yourself until it hurts💗 Boundaries, my friend, boundaries.

[@margalu9946]

Hello from madrid

[@itsafantakis]

Valentines hasn’t been the same since my divorce. I’ve been divorced for 10 years. I was married for 30 years and Valentines was our anniversary and my exhusband birthday. It was a special month.

[@emchiu2123]

Hi Esther and online People. Yesterday was Valentines Day. I am working. I'll catch up with my Boyfriend on the weekend. Today he is sick but not there physically.

[@firasbaltaji1533]

❤

[@margalu9946]

I recive precious notes from my Good friend , but only a chat with my partnert that work far from my home . That part was sad .

[@annejaekel]

Hi from germany

[@whadis404]

Thank you Esther I value every one of your postings/videos. Years ago on our 16th wedding anniversary… My children and I were ready to celebrate I’d made a lovely meal Our sons were dressed as waiters to serve us our dinner and wine … His girlfriend (my best friend at that time) had gone missing! He left the house and searched for her with her parents! She was found walking in a national park, not missing, just wanting alone time! He cared more for her than us! This was in late August, by January we were separated and later divorced, they moved in together! I was in a high control religion/cult for most of my life and never was allowed to celebrate the pagan holidays … Valentine’s Day was one of them Hi from Australia

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

So sorry. Move forward. You will find your Soulmate.

[@nancyyancy5199]

Interesting story.

[@johealingtouch6683]

I listen to all this teachings, all the way from Kenya , yet my question remains where's this man to be found/ seeing who hears this same or similar teachings..one valentine after another on my own , my heart gets heavy with longing, in that heaviness I wake myself up , chin up and life beauty floods to my thoughts I go on one moment after another...as I pass all this beautiful Souls with flowers and chocolates and holding hands ...I'm without words ...my day will come , my day is coming, my day is here .

[@CrystalDatingCoach]

Change the type of Man your dating. You will find your Soulmate.

[@TheIntiayla]

I can be all of both of those answers…

[@jawull87]

I really would like to read that book that you referred to (how to make marriage work). Unfortunate I can not find this book online. Could you provide the full reference?

[@galenik1]

My assumed 3 months boyfriend blocked my on instagram a week before St. Valentines, it wasn’t the worst part, we were supposed to move in, and I thought we were great together, but obviously with problems to figure out. But now I know he wasn’t down for it

[@bonnierobbins4230]

Hi Esther! I love your work and honesty about relationships! Your addressing big issues! I'm 62yrs young! A Mother of 4 children. Unfortunately my second son died in July 1996 at 14yrs. My remaining son's all grown and well... After our son's death from drowning in the bath tub...We divorced. Now 2023 I'm in a relationship since 2018 with a man that was attending same high school. We planned on marriage then pandemic happened. He is retired as well as myself. For valetines day he bought me a model car! A V.W. van! Esther I was shocked! He's a motor head! Eric my boyfriend has 4 expensive high performance vehicles! I was wondering if I'm being immature? Eric is not playful or won't kiss me anymore. We've not had sex in 3yrs! Could he still be angry that I found out he was still talking to his ex gf? Oh she came to visit him when I was with him at his home in March 2019. Eric is a widower. His wife passed in 2016. Esther I can't talk about my feelings. So I started going to therapy. He got angry about that. When his ex introduced herself I asked them to go to lunch? To get to know Maria...he said he's a private person! I think lve made a mistake. I'm going to leave. Oh Eric is also on medication for back surgery. He self isolates... Please feel free to use my experience in your business! Best wishes Bonnie Ohio USA

[@mitupanigrahi7564]

You are a very realistic leady

[@margalu9946]

Resentment

[@nancyyancy5199]

It is small little things.

[@thetruther954]

Have you ever thought the need for ravishing and affairs and dissatisfaction is born out of not knowing what to do with men?

[@jayzed4099]

If he’s not kissing you, he is kissing someone else….

[@davidaustin9130]

Maybe not kissing at all?

[@GnosisMan50]

All this talk about relationships...is anybody really listening? Does anybody really care? As a man, of what good is it to embody Perel's teachings if you can't find a woman who is willing to do the same? Any chance a woman in midlife who lives in West Chester Pa wants to meet and put Perel's ideas into practice?

[@keliblack6665]

I'm down South, but would love to chat if ya want to! Happy to see a man who is interested in deep exploration and conversation. We missing y'all out here! 😜🙏💞

[@teach1nation]

Agreed!! I honestly feel like a unicorn, can’t find a likeminded man to save my life. I’ve given up hope

[@keliblack6665]

Are we allowed to leave an email here? I'd like to talk to all of you! Haha! 🤓😜

[@Beccanator007]

Hey guys! Don’t give up- just tell everyone you meet about how much you love Esther Perel and when you find folks that also do- there you have your people! I share her work with any person I’m interested in as well. It only serves to make the world a better place!

[@sarahogue]

The good of it is to grow & become who you are. Love will follow..