ROASTING Your Tinder Profiles

[@danielhowell]

NEW TOUR DATES ADDED IN AUSTRALIA AND EUROPE COME SEE ME ON TOUR BEFORE THE WORLD ENDS danielhowell.com

[@violetstars596]

YIPPIE!

[@pxxchyel]

impulsively bought dublin vip and now im travelling myself for the first time :)

[@chloepatrick12]

already have seen it and will see it again in 60 days!!!

[@ridley9754]

Daniel why have you done that after I already spent a fortune buying tickets to travel to UK - now I've just bought the VIP in Poland just to invite you to a fistfight in the parking lot after the show

[@mollyisaverage]

see u in cambridge parasocial best friend

[@MacDoesIt]

I’m glad I can add entertainment to your bathing experience

[@mollyisaverage]

EXCLUSIVELY in the bath

[@raevennist_]

Splish splosh

[@Lalaundercover389]

Omgg mac 🥹

[@afeatherinthewind]

kings supporting kings (in the tub) we love to see it

[@murderyourdeity]

PLEASE collab

[@thehawk5573]

this parasocial relationship joke isn’t going to be so funny when i join your family for christmas dan

[@MiniNymph]

The Vlog about some randomer joining his christmas dinner will be very on brand, except for the actual posting bit.

[@cynniebynnie]

LMFAO

[@MoonchildDontCry]

Exactly. It will also super not be funny when dan checks under his bed.

[@jason007smith]

HAHAHAHAHH I'm coming with

[@gabbycurtis9347]

This is an incredibly underrated comment.

[@shibbersscott1575]

The fact that all these people prob drew cat whiskers on their faces in middle school, what a time to be bullied relentlessly 🗿

[@adrianoines521]

I did this way too much and should have been bullied. people let that slide when they shouldn't have.

[@juliettemarii]

Stop😭

[@Silly_1824]

You didnt have to call me out like this🧍🏻

[@RioRav]

They were all 19-23 they have no idea about the cat whiskers-era

[@victai163]

@@RioRav lol some ppl were fans in middle school (im turning 21 but i got into dnp when i was 13)

[@lisaofhearts]

dan yelling ENHANCE and then putting his face against the screen made me wheeze

[@genericname8727]

I appreciated the camera angles

[@bbbelieveit]

The way he pronounced ciabatta had me literally howling 😂

[@baileyelisedavis9685]

I rewound and watched it again 😂🤣💗

[@909rasa]

@@bbbelieveit howelling

[@iiireeeneee]

Cheesus christ

[@confoundedcat]

"terrifying bisexual let loose into society" is gonna be my new tinder bio

[@_bebeboudeur_]

10/10 approved

[@katiehotchkiss3225]

If I wasn't engaged and I got on tinder, same

[@lunashootingstar15]

LOL I read this exactly as he was saying it 😆

[@aylaa6434]

you shaped us as a community be proud of what you've created

[@Octobris]

Are you sure there's much to be proud of

[@aivareysala9526]

saw dan in santa barbara and he called me a “cold slutty goth” which tbh, completed me as a human being

[@zobizobizobi]

the highest praise

[@brie]

is this the closest we’ll ever get to a dan and macdoesit collab??

[@mewmew6158]

Probably tbh

[@brie]

@@mewmew6158 that’s sad. i saw sumn ab anthony collabing with dan tho 🤪 so hoping dan filmed some collabs with other ppl while in the states on tour 🤧

[@sulkingsuccubus]

WE NEED THE COLLAB

[@kittycat3638]

I think they had one but it was when they were both closeted so it's just 'I swear I'm nothing but straight!'

[@ameisweirdx]

@@brie can u imagine, dan would set off an existential crisis in mac and mac would release dans inner crazy fool itd be so beautiful

[@xandraster]

MacDoesIt and Dan doing a video together would be a dream come true but also pure fuxking chaos

[@BlazeDupree1525]

We need a story time of how he got banned from tinder

[@thelonelyegg3025]

@@BlazeDupree1525 probably tinder thinking he was impersonating. Otherwise just regular old Mac going wild lll

[@mylifeismylaptop8529]

1:22 I love how Dan assumes everyone on dating apps is looking for a soulmate that’s so sweet

[@penina8438]

He also assumes ppl actually read profiles before swiping, adorable.

[@UnBesoDeCristal]

that was his experience onlike circa 2009 and its clouded his vision 😔🫡

[@2tatianakfae]

I saw Dan's show in Oakland and I gotta be honest, every time he went up or down those stairs I felt a bit of terror that he was going to fall down

[@danielhowell]

every show comes with the possibility of a live death how exciting!!!!!

[@teclinsoro4523]

That’s just part of the show

[@ScarlettBlack_Zucchini]

@@danielhowell why does this remind me of a certain robot from Undertale...

[@SamWest96]

My friend wrote my tinder profile when we were all very drunk. It was "the last one dumped me on my birthday, the bar is pretty low." Met my husband with that profile, we're parents now. Never would have predicted that.

[@Shadamyfan-rs8xc]

Well congrats 🎊

[@kaylalopez715]

Started watching around 12 and I’m 21 now, married with 2 children😂

[@Foreversayhey]

Couple of things: 1) Dan and Mac crossover that I wasn't prepared for 2) This is grown-up internet support group 3) Cat whiskers is how I discovered my bisexuality and no I will not be elaborating further thank you

[@katiebell3087]

As someone with a dead dad who has made similar jokes, I nearly died of laughter 😂😂

[@dabarecats9485]

Just like your dad

[@bryrk]

that's me 😭

[@BlueDragon-vm1bt]

Is that how he went too

[@BlueDragon-vm1bt]

I should not have said thaattttttt I'm sorry

[@Alicia-zf3nq]

@@BlueDragon-vm1bt as someone with a dead mom, I thought it was a funny response. You've got nothing to be sorry about

[@olivergullikson2080]

i didn’t think we would ever get a stephosims/daniel howell collab but this is the best way it could have gone

[@5nikoline5]

YES!! i was almost jumpscared by her like "what are you doing here:

[@_bebeboudeur_]

love to see it !

[@jolaechen_r6]

+

[@JahrieWobbles]

Thinking abt how I started watching you at like age 10, and now I’m 24 and engaged still watching. I feel like I owe you child support for raising me ☠️

[@cutiefox6455]

Loool

[@toastburntbread]

I saw my ex once on tinder. Their bio was them bluntly describing all their genuine red flags to a tee in a factual way.

[@dangerliesbeforeyou]

plot twist: dan is actually john and the 'daniel howell' persona is just something he created as a thought experiment lol

[@danielhowell]

fr daniel howell is way to weird to be real john is much more believable

[@dangerliesbeforeyou]

@@danielhowell GASP i knew it!

[@Debuttv]

@@danielhowellyou spelt too wrong

[@WishGender]

@@Debuttvdon't tell him, you'll kill what little spirit he has left

[@alexderuiter1505]

The fact that Dan is posting regularly still is new to me I get excited every time

[@ionlydressthatway]

as an aspec, the whole concept of dating apps is simultaneously utterly horrifying and morbidly fascinating so thanks for this window into the world of allos

[@Meccarox]

Same

[@Whackusbonk]

I’m convinced that Dan doesn’t age because he’s managed to remain constantly relatable throughout the years

[@WishGender]

or maybe we're all aging at the same rate

[@strugglingartist5564]

I still can’t believe we are getting so much new content

[@leprechaunlake]

dan uploading will always be the highlight of the day

[@markipliertrash1562]

Ikr

[@mollyisaverage]

me too fr

[@Sentientmatter8]

I know - uploads are so frequent now they SEEM daily.

[@inthemoondust2900]

STEPHOSIMS???? not the crossover we wanted, but the crossover we deserve

[@daniellebronkhorst2168]

What if Dan brought back Internet Support Group on Dystopia Daily?? Like set up a new email n go thro some messages every month or every couple months like he used to. Those vids were always so funny.

[@itsrainbow123]

BAHAHA THAT'S ME AND MY PARTNER AT 11:43!! Thank you so much for including us and our cursed child

[@ruthborg6076]

If I had a Tinder profile it would literally be: wants sex but also wants to be left tf alone…you have to know when to do what.”

[@mollyisaverage]

i avoid getting rejected by people by simply distancing myself from everybody, eliminating all possibility of finding a soulmate 😎

[@meumundosecreto7694]

It feels like I'm looking at a mirror

[@Dora-rr3hw]

No relationship = no pain

[@Charky_Creations]

The thing with soulmates is that they'll find you anyway

[@oLynxXo]

@@Charky_Creations Don't give them hope they'll just end up disappointed.

[@Meccarox]

So true

[@Chloe_rae]

Petition for Dan to make a dystopian daily dating app.

[@lydiabolen8537]

omg

[@Imallwrite212]

incredible

[@lesliehall7161]

I’m glad your audience didn’t let you down! Honestly you attract a lot of very cool people! 😊

[@hiMickeyhi]

Honestly, Dan coming back to KZbin has been my favorite revive series ever. Fantastic work on getting going again! That shit is hard and scary to do so I truly admire your work

[@madzshelena2267]

I am living for all of the credits in the description, I'm so happy you have an entire team of people now to help with videos! Also all the languages you have captions made in is absolutely wonderful 😍

[@rowanford8141]

i love the PJ worked on it to!! like his friends supporting him

[@upsidedownturtle6742]

seeing Mac reply to this brought me so much joy (esp hearing Dan watches his videos). love when my fave ytbers interact even if it's for a second

[@brie]

hoping this video stays up longer than your last tinder video (real ones know)

[@min_nad]

EXPLAIN

[@icedcashewmilklatte]

he made a tinder video way back when basically cracking jokes with potential dates. it got taken down because the people in the video didn’t want it up apparently.

[@brie]

^^ “way back when” bro i made another comment saying like “oh two years or so ago maybe” n someone came back n was like “more like six” n i went and looked and it really was like five almost six years ago ✋🏻 it does not feel like it was that long ago frrr

[@ry5551]

with the wooden hamster thing ?

[@madybell6753]

@@ry5551 no, I’m pretty sure that was a Phil video with Dan in it! This was a Dan specific video

[@orangepekoetea]

funniest part of the video was dan saying "ENHANCE" and then putting his entire eyeball against the screen instead of like. zooming in

[@CB-vv4tm]

As a person with a recently passed mom … I’m angry she hung out with you for such a significant amount of time without me. 9:20

[@lauryn_ski]

every time I watch a Dan video or see anything pertaining to him and his journey it makes me so insanely happy and overcome with emotion, like we have watched him blossom in to this amazing person he is today. We we have all gone on this journey of self discovery on our own, together. How insane is that? Im tipsy and feeling sentimental rn but Im so proud of all of us fr we got this far yall damn

[@charlottawhitfield]

can i just say the theme tune for dystopia daily is the perfect mix of edgy angst and actual musical greatness, thank you

[@vampiredinosaur]

Can we all just take a moment to appreciate the mitering of the stripes on the shoulders of Dan’s sweater?

[@madybell6753]

I didn’t expect my profile to actually be in it 😭😭😭 I haven’t been on my bumble account in like three months

[@madybell6753]

Anyways, stream ‘Side Effect’ by FKA Rayne lmao

[@barbaram5769]

Honestly, was so mad when I went to see the tour, feeling cute, and then everyone looked like this. Immediately put in my place.

[@jackvawter0801]

Dan talking about watching Mac when hes looking for opinions in the bath while im watching Dan...for the purpose of hearing opinions while im chilln in my bath

[@jackvawter0801]

Bath-ception

[@vincentwhittaker3686]

thx for helping me through my depression dan Xx

[@salemsmushroom]

the way hes mainly roasting people with the same energy as himself

[@VannaJohnson]

Was at the show in Seattle. Brought someone who had no idea who Dan was up until that point, we both loved the show. Please incorporate more jumpsuits into your daily wardrobe.

[@mosshealy3280]

Oh this is gonna get mean and weirdly personal Edit: Me: *kins Luigi* Dan: big bottom energy Me: *surprised pikachu face in bottom*

[@V.Zombi_]

It will indeed

[@MirianRodrigues483]

I'm the person with the Shrek photo and it got me on many disappointing dates!!!

[@rebeccahdurant9504]

Dan roasted people's outfits, then he had to make a video of people roasting his... the only next logical step from here is us roasting Dan's Tinder profile

[@MrLeto-xc6ft]

Dan single handedly curing my depression one dystopia daily episode an the time

[@juniperfox1064]

having dan uploading regularly is such a blessing

[@nataliatheweirdo]

Dystopia daily is usually what gets me out of bed in the morning, this particular day i happened to be already out of bed when this was uploaded- and i felt like i completed sometthing 😂

[@wildflowies]

this made me think of Would You Date THE REAL Dan, gone but never forgotten

[@chuualwayswins]

0:48 why do I love this little jingle sm

[@bttrflymagic]

Here comes Dan with his aggressively wholesome “roasting” again!! He keeps using that word….I don’t think it means what he thinks it means 😂

[@Rose-ti7mh]

i love dystopia daily, i dont care if its "too niche" its wonderful content. thank you Daniel

[@brie]

the areola grande costume deserves an award

[@skidkid5]

peak eat while youtube moment with dan. i love this series so much. i literally starve myself until i have time to sit down and eat when i see you posted

[@Xplreli]

Thank you for filling the void in my heart and continuing our beautiful parasocial relationship for another week father ❤

[@dianamagritte]

i haven't watched the video, i refuse because i honestly cannot comprehend the idea of daniel howell possibly having enough experience to give ME, a married woman, dating advice

[@violetsnotviolence]

I love cats, can't drive, and am possibly addicted to cake. I'm still holding out hope, lol.

[@leslieallen6296]

Sorry I couldn't make it to your show in Mesa, AZ but hope to see you one day. You rock Dan! Thank you for your videos.

[@marcom5575]

Watching your videos procrastinating a final essay for college. Somehow I feel motivated, thanks Dan

[@EVa-ir8tw]

Daniel putting his face close to the screen to count cheese slides on the ciabatta sandwich is a whole mood ✨

[@misguided_ghost]

I love the way that dan is too respectful here to actually roast anyone. all of the roasts are just thinly veiled compliments

[@brie]

wish tinder never kicked me off it’s platform for tryna make a bag (was searching for a sugar daddy) 👋🏻😔

[@bornwithhorns]

LMAO

[@brie]

@@bornwithhorns literally got the email i’d been banned within 30 minutes fr 😭

[@princessblazena]

Why wouldn't you use one of the Sugar Daddy dating sites? They're specifically for Sugar Daddy finding, so you won't get banned there 🤔😉

[@brie]

@@princessblazena cause most of the guys there are all the fake guys like “send me a $50 gift card and i’ll give you an allowance of $2000 and spoil you financially the $50 is just to prove to me you’re loyal” like girl… do i look THAT stupid to you??? the only place i’ve ever found luck with guys who pay is on findom twt but even then it’s hit or miss

[@lenamoonwitch]

man i’m high af but i loved this video. i’m loving dystopia daily + a MacDoesIt mention! this video reminded me i need to be checking twitter more often lmao. also yeah i would definitely say you were a defining feature of going up in the 2010s so you’ve for sure helped mold our culture. i’m 20, in my third year of university and i’ve been watching your videos since i was 13.

[@rubyrose7726]

"I know you. I love you. We are friends." Leave me alone.

[@Olivia3641]

I’ve never been this early before! Yay!!!!!! I now get to watch the Roast Master, Dan Howell, roast those Tinder profiles!

[@nikkimurray8938]

First of all, all of your fans are hot?? Second, I think you should make one of these where those of us in relationships tell you how we met our significant other (funny stories only)

[@TheLaughingLion7]

You talking about the stairs and your possibility of falling. When I saw you in slc and there were objects all around the stag every time you took a step down the inner mom in me was like “Careful Dan! Don’t fall! 😅” my husband finds it hilarious and thinks that I’m the only person who was probably worried.

[@avaiyankasen3057]

I'm so glad Dan uploaded when he did cos I was about to cry for a really crappy reason T o T

[@adrianbowman4752]

12:58 the way these are definitely being released in a different order then they were filmed in.

[@ALLTHEDRUGSFORCREATIVITY]

I love that Daniel Howell watches Mac Does It this is the best information I’ve ever been given

[@lpodverde]

Everyone dies alone. We use the thought of someone being there to witness it as a coping mechanism hoping it will make the process easier. It won't. Life is meaningless suffering on our way back into non-existence and we hope someone else will stop the suffering. They won't, the can't, if you're luckily enough to find a mate who you love you'll only get the added bonus of eventually losing them if they go before you.

[@jupiterpls]

when you are a full introvert and terrified of intimacy so have never even entertained the idea of a dating app...ah, yes very relatable episode i am down with these kids

[@ZombieGoddessxi]

I adore this pattern of a person guest then an animal guess! Can’t wait to see who is next and what creature is next!

[@dreaglum]

dan and his aggressive praise never gets old

[@marionapina]

Gotta love seeing my favs, Steph and Mac on the legend’s vid

[@julesfinch9970]

Your show is incredible 💜 I'm so glad my partners got me tickets as an early christmas gift 💜💜

[@_bebeboudeur_]

damn ! gift goal !

[@Andy-rj8sr]

Imma need to see Dan and Mac collab. Literally my two favourite KZbinrs (and Phil of course)

[@aryastark2836]

The dad coffin bio was so horrible I laughed

[@grungeisnotdeadPL]

OMFG they've just added a show on VALENTINE'S DAY in POLAND at the club close to my home! I don't even watched Dan so often these days (even tho I follow since teenage) but I have bought the ticket immediately. A single ticket. Next to the other single place. I wonder if that will be the beginning of the weird love story thanks to Daniel :D Thank you for giving me the purpuse to live up and a hope to survive the single valentines next year. See you soon! I'm sure you gonna love Warsaw!

[@leew2400]

This was a great video to watch while stuck on the side of the road with a flat tire in Canadian winter

[@ashleypeterson1686]

Dan being jealous of a guy who’s name is almost puke is hilarious to me, not to roast my main man Puk.

[@bangtanala4558]

i love dystopia daily omg thank you dan for continuing to give us content !!

[@pikachuvic4875]

Thank you for giving me a reason to crawl out of my hole of depression.

[@calebwilson.27]

Omg!! Hi! I’m so glad you’re back! I haven’t been on KZbin in a while but I missed you being here and your content🖤

[@georgiabrown2037]

I’ve never been so glad that I didn’t submit my profile to a video!

[@dapawta]

6:55 Damn Danielllll! Back at it again w the homewrecking!

[@pigeondance]

7:14 these jumpcuts sent me 😂😂

[@LadyKhiaani]

8:00 yes. update: the amount of serotonin this gives me could potentially cure me

[@teclinsoro4523]

i’m still in denial about dan uploading consistently

[@georgiamae3370]

I’m really loving the new content you can really tell dans happier :)

[@chloepatrick12]

these mascots never fail to surprise me

[@bobbiemeri7245]

I realize it’s been months but as soon as I saw this video I clicked and it was probably the funniest video I’ve watched in a while and I liked your little segments. Pls make more videos mWah ❤

[@brie]

not you skipping taylor and only saying phoebe and lorde at 4:05 😭

[@raspberrytaegi]

STARTING OFF STRONG WITH THE FIRST ONE LMFAOOOOOO i think dan's full-belly laughs of joy are a sign that he is discovering why SSAYD videos with ~audience engagement~ are so lovely

[@MirianRodrigues483]

I'm going to put on my profile "Dan Howell woul SWIPE" and if this doesn't get me a damn date...

[@mochees]

every week I am surprised there's a new video