Routine for Autistic Adults - How Good Routines Help Self-Regulation

UPCOMING: Leveraging Routines Webinar with Paul Micallef & Shannan Lea
Wednesday 28th February 7:00pm - 8:00pm AEDT
See Full Details Here: autismexplained.kartra.com/pa...
Routine for Autistic Adults? Is routine good for autism? It’s a stereotype that autistic people overly rely on routines. The diagnostic criteria for autism even has a section for restrictive and repetitive behavior. However, what exactly is a routine and how can we leverage the benefits of a good routine? In this video, I will share how behavior and routine might really be a effective emotional self-regulation strategy.
🎞️Timestamps:
0:25 Introduction
1:35 Routine as Emotional Self-Regulation Strategy
1:49 The First Benefit
3:58 The Second Benefit
4:57 The Third Benefit
5:54 The Fourth Benefit
12:07 CBT and Patterns and Routine
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I'm Paul Micallef, and I discovered my own autism at age 30.
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Autism affects many (if not all!) aspects of our lives, so on this channel, I want to show you what Autism looks like in real people and give you some insight into what's happening for us on the inside. We'll break down myths and misconceptions, discuss how to embrace autism and live well, and share what it's like to be an autistic person.
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Peace,
~ Paul
#autism #asd #autismawareness

[@laymayday]

I’ve noticed that routines that involves people are extremely distressing for me, but routines that involve daily tasks (and no people) are more calming.

[@assayf]

The video freeze from 3:48 to 4:18

[@johnfsenpai]

Thanks for signalling this, I had the same problem and your comment saved me the time of trying things that could only have worked if it was an issue on my side, like restarting my computer, etc. Edit: typo

[@Dezzyyx]

I'm so relieved. I recently bought a new, pretty expensive computer and I was afraid it was an issue on my end. Thanks!

[@Mandrake_root]

Oh i totally thought it was my connection lol

[@cheese-bg1xq]

3:49 Folks, it's not your computer messing up, it's the video! 😂😂

[@Dezzyyx]

having just bought an expensive new computer that's a huge relief

[@surewhatever8843]

Setting up phone alarms have helped me tremendously. I’m essentially time blind and struggle with transitions (AuDHD), so a simple ‘time check’ alarm to let me know a transition is coming makes them less stressful. On iPhones, you can set them to repeat on specific days, allowing me alter the alarms for work days versus off days. Choosing different chimes for different activities helps as well. I turned off work alarms for vacation and realized my brain had been so well conditioned to expect the alarm I anticipated the task normally scheduled at that time.

[@cheese-bg1xq]

Not only do I get good advice on how to cope with my autism, but I get a heavy hit of nostalgia through the t-shirt 👍

[@Ellen-mt2ob]

I have routines for eating (same foods), exercising, cleaning, and sleeping. My system is quite regular, which allows me more energy to pursue my interests.

[@daminox]

I think my ADD is what makes it so difficult for me to form stable routines. I get sucked into something that gives me happy brain chemicals and i get all amped up and don't want to go to bed. My sleep schedule has always been all over the place. It doesn't help that my ADD meds have worn off by that time of day.

[@FifiLeCat]

My therapist helped me with this by suggesting I plan a time to “revisit” my routines and put it on my calendar. I have this task set every 3 months. It seems to be working for me.

[@diogenesoliveira6473]

The need for routine and the incapacity of establishing them...

[@cheese-bg1xq]

I don't have ADHD but ouch that can happen a lot lmao.

[@f.u.c8308]

Me too. Routines don't last forever I have to persistently make them

[@Sarah-ht7cs]

​@@f.u.c8308Right. The ADHD gets in the way SO much. I really crave structure and routine. But I also crave novelty. Having to make up new routines requires executive function (planning, prioritizing, etc). I don't want to believe I'm a lost cause. I'll be 60 soon and I have a lot I want to accomplish before I get too old. I feel like I need outside structure but of course I can't move back in with mom and dad.😅😢

[@ThroughTheLensOfAutism]

This reminds me of early elementary school, when I learned to go to the restroom every recess, whether I felt like I needed to go or not. Also another reminder of school is regulating my behavior based on bells.

[@CLGlitter76]

I eat the same thing everyday. I love routine and structure

[@louiseyoung1231]

Me too. It's helpful

[@ivanaamidzic]

Same here

[@DR_1_1]

Doesn't sound very healthy, though...

[@louiseyoung1231]

My 2 cents: It depends on what you're eating. I eat meat, frozen veggies & sweet potato for lunch & dinner. Sometimes I eat other things. When you have food sensitivities, you want to be safe & not triggered by a food that disagrees with you.

[@PAL.Studios]

I'm a shift worker who is often required to work overtime at short notice and it feels damn near impossible to have any sort of routine. I'm pretty sure its damaging to my physical and mental wellbeing but, financially I'm a bit stuck, and a 9-5 means less time with my children. 😕

[@Low760]

I'm with you on this. Overtime is just expected to be available most days though so it's more like 10 hours days every day

[@black_cats_enthusiast]

Apparently autistic people don't form habbits or at least not to extend that neuronormative do it. That why routine is a must. I heard it recently and it was an eyeopening thought.

[@ivanaamidzic]

*Regarding point #1* - This is 100% me. Love wearing the same looking clothes every day Monday to Sunday and eating the same food every day Monday to Sunday. My clothes are monochromatic and I wear mostly (97%) black and sometimes gray or blue jeans when I am being wild. (Bright colors hurt my brain too much). I enjoy darks and colors of nature after rain, and neutrals. Then I perhaps change for the next week. This is kind of not very socially acceptable, so I try to modify a bit and conceal from people at work. I am careful about what I eat health wise and even if i was not overly structured about my food naturally, I’d have to be in order to eat well and nutritious, given that most random food around is hideous and unhealthy anyway. I do enjoy cooking and baking and experimenting with that when I am cooking for other people. I love cooking! When you look at animals (I learn a lot from them daily), they too eat pretty much the same thing every day and are healthier than humans. Those of them that we feed, well, their food is ultra processed and not healthy at all. When I was small my granny took me to buy new socks (this was a rare occasion that I’d be given anything, and especially new) and to her disappointment, I chose 7 pairs of the same looking socks, being excited to have the same ones for each day of the week. I ADORE routine and structure but ONLY the one created by ME for me. CAN’T stand others organising anything for me, especially school or work place (or any organisation or institution), which all are sources of pain for me, constantly trying to fit the square peg (me) into a round hole (the way they do things). *Regarding point # 1 or 4* - Having a routine - sleep, nutrition and exercise/movement is crucial for people to feel well and thrive daily and long term, as well as to regulate nervous system, especially for people with traumas and Autism.

[@Catlily5]

Guess that I am screwed then because I can't set a routine. I have more of one then I used to (which has taken extreme effort) but it is still far from ideal.

[@ivanaamidzic]

@@Catlily5 I wonder why that is that you can't set a routine. Do you prefer others to set it for you or is it something else?

[@Catlily5]

@@ivanaamidzic I have autism and ADHD. The ADHD side of me hates routines. The other reason I have problems with routines is because I have major problems with transitions. So I want to keep doing whatever I am doing and not change to something else. The clock is not very important to me.

[@ivanaamidzic]

@@Catlily5 I totally relate to the second part of what you said. I also don't live by official time and get so invested in one of the things I enjoy that I forget about all else, including going to work. This is exact reason why I create routines, in order to survive linear daily existance such as work, bills, deadlines, etc. Without routines, I am lost case. I don't have ADHD, so don't know how that feels like, but I feel for you.

[@Catlily5]

@@ivanaamidzic I can create a routine but I won't stick to it. I will go to work, school and stuff. I got my bedtime down to a three hour window. Which is much better than before when I just went to bed whenever. So yeah, I do better when a routine is set for me. Even though I don't like it.

[@misst1586]

The shoe thing yes. I would buy two pairs at a time and then they stopped making them. Sad.

[@claudiako3925]

I enjoy meal routines such as Taco Tuesday. It helps me feel less stressed during grocery shopping, and each day of the week feels more predictable. Some may find that weird.

[@ShadowCrystallux]

Great content as always ☺ Might want to live edit that 30 second freeze out near the beginning (around 3:48) though, almost closed the video!

[@emmynoether9540]

Yes, that was confusing. I thought my app had a glitch.

[@KatEtoile]

This might be an odd comparison but I’m thinking of Dogs. They’re probably the happiest creature in the world, and they function on those cues and habits. For example, they get excited because you’re putting your coat on, and that means walkies time.

[@veeek8]

Living with a dog is really helpful as they remind you to keep your routine

[@peterdalton200]

I find that a routine gives me a sense of purpose, and helps to regulate my blood circulation. I work with homeless men out of a sense of social justice. Routine helps me to work efficiently and accurately. My mental well-being is sharply maintained. I always try to keep the cognitive ability crisp, and focused on new skills.

[@auralvampirefan]

That's very kind of you that you carry a sense of social justice in a world becoming devoid of it.

[@jeffreywilliams5871]

I had that exact experience when I traveled to Chicago last summer, just being away from home and breaking routine released all these relaxing energies

[@AushlinART]

at 3:45 the video kind of freezes up but then continues at about 4:15, is this just me? or did something brake in the video? I didnt read comments, sorry.

[@Dezzyyx]

it's the video, not you

[@claudiabautistaandres8417]

Been to Taize 2x as well ❤ and regularly visit it in my mind, remembering the orange fabrics and deep relaxation. Only recently, at 41, realized I'm audhd

[@baileypaulina1409]

Is it possible to have a routine that doesn’t look like a traditional routine? Like, one without strict rules on when things have to be done or not in the same order every single time? My routine unfortunately is basically based all around my repeatedly spending time on my special interests to the point of neglecting self care on a regular basis and when that routine is thrown off, I get antsy and irritated and just want to be alone with my interests again. For example, an unexpected trip out of the house that requires me to take some care of myself like putting my “leaving the house” clothes on or showering or brushing teeth causes me to feel upset because my sense of certainty for how my day/energy will be spent is completely thrown off. Another example is unexpected company showing up at my house (I live with my parents, don’t have full control over who comes over when). The type of people that come over are nice and all but definitely are completely unaware and uneducated on neurodivergence stuff. I don’t want to bring attention to myself by *completely* ignoring them and isolating myself. Plus, sometimes I have enough social battery to handle being around them for a short while. But pretty shortly after they arrived, I’m definitely not as engaged and responsive because I just want to talk about my interests or at least leave and go to my room to engage in them. It’s frustrating because I do find myself WANTING to forge relationships and deeper connections BUT also experiencing EXTREME resistance at the idea of how much time would be necessary away from my special interests in order to accomplish that goal.

[@OrangeLove-um4dd]

USE SUBTITLES FOR THE FROZEN SECTION Subtitles still show what Paul's saying, even though the footage gets stuck. Do that, so you don't have to waste time trying to figure out what he was saying for that lost 30 seconds!

[@moshki80]

I am really really good at planning productivity routines on paper (or digitally), the end 😂 My autism is PDA-flavoured. Im learning that my routines are much more focused on creating flow and recovery and dont actually look like routines at all, even to me

[@Cal760]

Paul! When I saw the images of taize I almost cried! I lived there as a volunteer long term and the way it helps!! The way I can’t find a routine living in a city! (Also to know that the amount of neurodivergent folks living there when I was there!)

[@Emile.gorgonZola]

How? How do I keep to a routine? I don't even know what day of the week it is or what time it is

[@Catlily5]

I relate!

[@wendyheaton1439]

I start each day with my teasmaid making me a cup of earl grey roobois tea.I drink it whilst listening to my bible study app. It makes for a very grounding start to the day...many of my other routines have to have inbuilt variations in order to appease the ADHD part of my audhd...

[@Catlily5]

What is a tesmaid?

[@wendyheaton1439]

@@Catlily5 an automatic cup of tea maker set to an alarm for the morning. A very British thing!

[@Catlily5]

@@wendyheaton1439 Ah, thanks!

[@SlowLivingWithAutism]

Same shoes - definitely. HOWEVER, the problem comes when they discontinue the model and you must find something else. I have issues with my feet and found the perfect shoes fir me. After several years of purchasing a new pair of those shoes each year, they retired that model. I bought 3 more pairs on clearance and looked gor a replacement (3 years to find a replacement). This was very stressful. I'm SO HAPPY to say that I finally found a replacement and still have one pair left. Routines are very important for everyone, but especially for autistics. I used Ayurvedic routines along with an Ayurvedic practitioner to help me get into a good daily routine. I'm still refining what works for me, but I'm thankful for progress. ❤

[@jmvh8736]

Can you share the brand and model of the shoes?

[@Styrestian]

Routines is very important for me, I struggle when traveling, especially with food, because of allergies its even more stressfull to not know when or what to eat. At the moment its hard to find my routines at home, I dont know why I struggle.. I prefer the same breakfast and choose between 5 diferent dishes for dinner, and no problem eating the same dish for a week. I also like bying the same shoes, the ones I wear comes out in a new colour every year so thats out of my controll, but I kind of like the not knowing in this case, though I normaly hate that in other areas of life... I do not have a diagnosis, but many things you explain do also fit me, and you are right - routines is a good self-regulation, it makes me more relaxed. btw. Cats also love routines..

[@liljuz1981]

video freezes around 3:45

[@MilkyFudgeNuts]

same

[@lisasosin9683]

l love eating the same things every day! I so appreciate how you emphasize the positive, adaptive aspect of our ways of being Paul. Your teachings promote my flourishing because they are validating and de-pathologizing.

[@suzyh74]

Many thanks for a great and thought provoking video. One thing I find difficult is when favourite foods go out of stock! On another note, I was interested in your visit to Taize. I've never been but I love listening to their music - so beautiful!

[@wherearemytesticles]

I know routines are good for me but since I have a weird mix of Autism/ADHD I am unable to make them myself.

[@mikaeljacobsson1437]

Three things that greatly disturbes me is: 1. The society is stuck in the primitive thinking that its always the neurodiversity that is the problem and needs to be dealt with. Never any talks about how it is the limited neurotypical thinking that are creating a lot of problems that really dont need to exist. I lots of times dont have a problem with my ADHD or Autism. I have a problem with the way neurotypicals think and do things. I did not ask to live in a neurotypical society nor did i have a part in creating it or maintaining it. 2. In many ways, the purpose with a diagnosis is to get answers to questions you did not know you needed to ask. Instead of fumbling around aimlessly in a neurotypical darkness you have information that can help you figure things out. Its not about putting a label on yourself or someone else. Its about finding an "easier" path to walk. 3. Those who are supposed to help you, miss a lot of things. Since i got diagnosed almost ten years ago. I have learned basically nothing about my ADHD or Autism/Asperger from the professionals. This meaning psykologists, doctors and nurses working in this speciality. Most of the information i needed and still needs comes from youtube channels. From others having these diagnosis and more experience and knowledge than me. There is such a lack of knowledge amongst a lot of those professionals. Which is annoying.

[@Catlily5]

For me both society and autism are disabling.

[@knrdvmmlbkkn]

"it is the (...) need to exist." Which problems would that be?

[@alejandro-314]

Interesting video. At work, I eat by myself, same thing everyday, really quick, under 30 mins. Except twice a month that I eat with my teammates, and I can feel the dysregulation for almost a week. I got a comment in my yearly evaluation that I should share more with my teammates, so I'm trying to incorporate them in my routine. Personally, if the lunch break is too long (I live in Spain so they usually are), it's really hard going back to work, and focusing.

[@ivanaamidzic]

I find this very sad to read. Your lunch is your time to nurish yourself & not to 'share' with your teammates. I prefer spending my lunches by myself except for important dates, such as someone's birth day. I enjoy cooking for others, but I prefer not to eat with them at work.

[@alejandro-314]

For me, those two days a month that I eat with them, it takes so much planning. I need to: 1) plan ahead discussion topics, 2) script some back-up jokes or funny comments, 3) it's an all-guys team, so tolerate the discussion they will have about either soccer or women (it feels like high school), 4) assume that later in the afternoon I won't be able to do so much work, 5) probably spend half-hour in the bathroom cubicle with the light off and headphones on just to reduce the tension, 6) and finally, days after, reviewing in my head all what I should or shouldn't have said. As an autistic man, I feel more comfortable sharing time with NT women than NT men. At least for me, it's much less masking involved.

[@ivanaamidzic]

@@alejandro-314 Oh wow. It doesn't even occur to me to attempt jokes & funny comments (I don't find funny at all what most people do)! Do your co-workers even know you have Autism? It's nice that you feel more at ease with at least some genders. I find everyone NT equally impossible!! I'm a woman, but I mostly get along best with other Autistic people, or with some neurodivergence, as they have most interesting topics, and just leave me be how I am naturally.

[@alejandro-314]

@@ivanaamidzic The only person who knows about me being autistic is my line manager boss, which is the responsible of the whole department. She is really understanding, and knows how to use my strengths. But she is leaving the department in March. I had a meltdown when I found out 😔 I think that sooner or later I will need to talk to my teammates, but I'm not sure how. Because if I just say "I'm autistic" I'm expecting the classic comments "you don't look autistic". So I'll probably need to educate them.

[@ivanaamidzic]

@@alejandro-314It'd never occur to me to value opinions or comments about my health, made by random people at work. To "you don't look autistic" I'd say "And you don't look informed and educated about most things, let alone Autism. So this is probably reflection of your own ignorance than my condition". I had co-workers who though that special interests are equal to addiction!! And other nonsense. I used to hide it from everyone at work, I really don't want my employer to know more than needed. Because of discrimination & ignorrance. People would just usually think I am eccentric and 'different'. And even tried to mock me and put me down for it. However, I had a very brutal fall out with a co-worker and someone I thought was a friend (I was wrong) because of communication issues on both sides. This is how they all found out. I really hope all works out well with your new manager or even if you decide to share about Autism with your co-workers. But it is not your job to defend yourself against others', often ill informed opinions, or to educate anyone about anything if you don't want to or don't know how.

[@alexwalters7264]

I have a wake up routine depending of working and having days off. I also have a routine for gym and normally plans that involve me. Problem is when people do tend to break it, leaving me struggling physically and mentally.

[@celineduperier3036]

Thank you for this wonderful video ❤

[@Backbite124]

I used to have routine which was influenced by school and parents then it stopped, I got super depressed and now I don’t know how to build a routine anymore into adulthood by myself. People say I need to be independent but I feel like having support from other people has always been helpful for me and not because of not wanting to be independent etc. why do people think I don’t wanna be independent. There’s just things I find really hard and need guidance in but I don’t really have many people who can help me with that.

[@RhymeandRamblings]

Baby steps. Work on one routine at a time. Once that becomes easy, work on the next one. There are lots of good content about building routines and habits on here. Good luck to you.

[@BobDouce]

At this time I find myself without routine. My whole life has changed due to illness and im sure I feel worse because of the lack of routine. I want to get back to working but am never going to be able to go back to the work i used to do, at 60 i still don't know what i want to do when I grow up. Work was my foundation for routine ,without it im just drifting.

[@BXLrules]

I eat the same breakfast everyday, buy the same clothes. shoes are a difficult topic, I'd love to buy the same, but the brands change models and then they often don't fit anymore. I've build a workflow for work where I just repeat the same operations all the time and I wonder why no one does the same. I became one of the fastest in my field, but not able to make a career since I'm considered to be a difficult person,I speak my mind and hurt egos all the time. When I see something that is not working, I mention it. I'm hypersensitive to sound and smell. breakups are a torture for longer then the relationship, and unfortunately they never stay. I got an adhd diagnosis, but there is no way to get an autism diagnosis since they are overrun. I'm 40 now and getting into burnout every year, it seem to increase. I need to find a way to cope since it feels like it won't end well.

[@MadWolfMike]

Another Excellent Video! Very Helpful and Insightful! You're doing Great work here... Really Appreciate your Channel... Thank You!

[@katherinebillings6520]

I have ADD in addition to autism. This combination is like having a push-me pull-you living inside my head! Bc of my autism, I thrive on a set schedule but, bc of my ADD, a fixed routine makes my insides go "NOOOOOooooo!!!" In addition, many nights I also wake up around 2 a.m. and can't get back to sleep until maybe 5:30 so, due to that, I can't follow a set time to wake up. My entire day goes so much better when I allow myself 2 hours after I get up, (different time from one day to the other) to sit on the couch and watch whatever it is I'm drawn to. I used to feel super lame, lazy and guilty. I now accept and embrace it. I guess that's my routine. Begin the day with the same thing that has no particular start time, then do whatever I'm motivated to do. I guess it's chasing dopamine the rest of the day, but it's the only way I accomplish anything.

[@adrenaline328]

Totally relate to the push-me pull-you inside me.

[@interdimensionalsailboat]

I eat the same or similar. I may try to expiriment with the same dish when i have an idea or just try to do it better and it slowly improves. And then once in a while when im feeling festive, i try one of my other favorite dishes. Basically same process there.

[@interdimensionalsailboat]

But no, i do follow my hunger or other symptoms. Sometimes i also switch my main meal with a super simple "just grab it off the shelf" one, because its easier.

[@Router994]

I find it really hard to talk to people, I wont speak to people unless they talk to me first, would you have any advice? my manager at work called me introverted which i found insulting

[@FifiLeCat]

Can you create a few scripts to get conversations started? I must have done this in my youth because to this day, I can meet just about anyone and, at the same time, I know how to guide most initial conversations. I kind of take charge and lead people down *my* path.

[@Ellen-mt2ob]

I always thought of "introverted" as a neutral term meaning you recharge alone rather than with others. That's me too. I am also that way with talking, and I am okay with that. I find people who always initiate conversation rather intrusive.

[@AutismTwinsUs]

My twins both ret heavily on routine but I’ve tried to come away from it a little as sometimes maintaining it can be out of our control so to avoid issues I’ve tried to calm it off a bit

[@Clare_LateDiagnosedAutist]

I find routines a complex subject. I have felt like I have always fought against routine but I’m starting to wonder if that is/was a masking technique - if I just didn’t make routines then I was behaving normally, not drawing attention to myself. Or a coping strategy given I had little control over my environment growing up (as most kids do) so I wasn’t getting frustrated by not being able to follow my routine.

[@Mandrake_root]

I still don't know if I'm autistic or not, but I do know that many autistic coping/regulating strategies really work for me. I've always been afraid of routines because of my ADHD and feeling like it's all about making yourself do hard chores out of discipline. Whereas routines in this context aren't about discipline *at all*. In fact, they reduce the amount of mental load you take on. I take testosterone and recently started using the gel form. Since I have a cat, I don't want to go to bed with any of it on me, so I've been showering every day. I've also decided to take my showers in the early evening instead of right before bed. I thought this would be kind of stressful because I always have a hard time getting into the shower. But it turns out now that I'm not having to decide if I'm too dirty to not shower, I just get in the shower. I also don't have to wash my hair every time so it's very quick and less sensory overloading. I'm still shocked honestly at how doing a chore more often has made the chore easy?

[@Mandrake_root]

I don't think I would be able to maintain this type of routine without a reason though. Like, if I were to go back to testosterone injections, I don't know if I would shower every day. Its so hard for me to keep up routines without an external force making them necessary. Brush teeth every night without fail bc I'm prome to cavities. Bedtime routine or else i won't get sleepy. If there isnt an important "or else" my adhd kicks in and I procrastinate.

[@misskelevra]

This was super interesting! How routines can change our bodies' automatic regulation :o

[@LukeSumIpsePatremTe]

I guess my definition of a routine is different than many others. I don't consider eating breakfast, wearing socks or going to work as routines.

[@Catlily5]

I am autistic but I can't set strict routines at all. I think because I am bad with time management and I like to do things until they are finished. I have a lot of trouble with transitions.I do have some very loose routines but I am not upset if they are interrupted. I also have ADHD as well as autism.

[@Catlily5]

I do try to buy things I like over and over. Like certain kinds of hats and scarves.

[@Catlily5]

My body doesn't like sleeping due to fear of sleep from PTSD.

[@t.ht.h9607]

❤ I can relate to this

[@pipwhitefeather5768]

I need a routine, an achievable routine, really I am washed along by a stream of emotions that I often try to avoid feeling. A healthy timetable for the day.. just typing that sentence I'm laughing because my routines last about 1/2 the first day. I'll give it another go though. Think I'm Audhd, awaiting assessment.

[@lucib8497]

I finally realized that’s what eats up my mornings and evenings. Routines! If I get home early I still do my routine and then I’m confused when I’m ready to go to bed at 6:30pm.

[@shiny6123]

My routine is I must poop every morning before I go to work even if I sit for a half hour. The second thing is I were a black top and jeans almost everyday to work. I pray everyday when I wake up , when I drive to work, while I’m at work , driving home from work and when I go to bed… I never thought these things were a routine but I do them daily and at the same time. 🤔 I guess they really are routines.

[@knrdvmmlbkkn]

"I never thought (...) the same time." How could they *not* be routines if you "do them daily and at the same time"? That sounds like how one would define "routines"...

[@knrdvmmlbkkn]

How I wish that I, too, could have (and keep to) routines...

[@Catlily5]

Yes, I wish!

[@knrdvmmlbkkn]

@@Catlily5"Yes, I wish!" Good, then I'm not alone. I don't know about you, but for me it's similar when it comes to all this talk about "special interests". Although they (well, someone) ought to make it clear whether "special" implies something out of the ordinary and, as such (similar to "original"), can be used demeaningly; or if it's just particular for the person(s) concerned, in which case "favourite" or "preferred" might be more appropriate. It appear to be nice to have that... something to really dive deep into, become very good at and perhaps even, in some way, take refuge in and acquire a sense of stability and/or belonging. (Or amass a nice big collection of this or that.) Especially if it's something that is commonly accepted or even normal. If not even something useful that could make it easy to study and get and keep a good job. It's not that I would like to somehow become autistic, but there are certainly sides to it that comes across as alluring. Perhaps they one day will find a cure for autism, and (inadvertently) at the same time make it possible to cause it intentionally.

[@Catlily5]

@@knrdvmmlbkkn I have autism and ADHD. The ADHD makes sticking to routines hard. But I have plenty of special interests. It can be fun until they torture you. I don't think that they will find a cure for autism anytime soon. The genetics are very complicated. While certain people might have a useful type of autism many people do not. So people choosing to have it would probably be rare. Unless you could get the positives without the negatives. But then it wouldn't be autism. Autism as it is defined now is a disorder. It has to cause you problems for you to be diagnosed with it.

[@knrdvmmlbkkn]

@@Catlily5"I have autism and ADHD." At least that's an interesting combination. Those disorders might come across as (so to speak) opposites and mutually exclusive. "But I have plenty of special interests." Including what? Special as in particular for you and/or extraordinary/weird? "It can be fun until they "torture" you." How does that torture play out? "I don't think (...) autism anytime soon." Neither do I. "While certain people (...) type of autism" Yes, might... I don't know if anyone actually do.

[@Catlily5]

@@knrdvmmlbkkn Autism and ADHD could not be diagnosed together before 2013 according to the DSM. However, that has changed. Many people are now diagnosed with both. Autism and ADHD actually overlap a fair amount. Some aspects are opposites but certainly not everything. I am more towards the autism side. For me my special interests are drawing, maps, cats. I collect marbles and coins. The coins and maps are connected because I am trying to get a coin from every country in the world. Special interests become torture if I over focus on them for too long. The longer I hyperfocus the harder it is to stop. I won't stop to eat, drink, use the bathroom or sleep. I have drawn for so long that my hand hurt for a week. It comes to a point where I want to stop but I can't. My muscles hurt but I can't stop.

[@odddak]

Unfreeze > 4:18