RSA Replay - The Power of Vulnerability

[@devidaughter7782]

"our capacity for wholeheartedness can never be greater than our willingness to be broken-hearted" (10:26). . . "rarely can a response make something better; what makes something better is connection" (28:18). . . "a sense of worthiness is a prerequisite for showing up and being seen in our lives" (33:33). . . "at the end of the day, at the end of the week, at the end of my life, I want to be sure that I contributed more than I criticized" (37:19). . ."shame corrodes the part of us that believes we can change" (41:46). . ."vulnerability without boundaries is not vulnerability" (52:00). . . re: social media: "don't mistake communication for connection" (53:17)

[@loujones5388]

I found this talk very well done and right on point. As an addictions counselor for many years, I am well aware of the corrosive power of shame which is the driver of all forms of addiction. Connectivity is a big part of the solution and it is entered through the door of empathy. It is wonderful that this is becoming mainstream and is available other than in therapy or the classroom in treatment. Thanks so much for putting it out there and doing it with grace and humor.

[@AmandaWhitleyonplus]

Brilliant woman. This deserves a million thumbs up!

[@angelscreationsmanagement]

I learned 1:00:01 so much from this video. I been fallowing Brené Brown for only a year and reading her books and every time is so much material to delight 😍 Thank You 🙏🏽

[@jude999]

This interviewer is great. He really puts the focus on her rather than himself, takes the issue seriously, and asks great questions.

[@orang2peel]

Her research is brilliant. It not only breeds empathy but self-compassion.

[@editaquadidi]

Is it normal that this person just made me cry?

[@karendermody4530]

Yup :) I first saw her with that famous Ted Talk on Vulnerability and it changed my life. She is quite a beautiful speaker, honest, warm and whole hearted.

[@rhondachandlerstewart3333]

I believe the outpouring of your tears is just what she was talking about....You gave yourself permission to feel and experience whatever you are going through or identified with. Continue to be brave.

[@MetalHomestead]

Yes. “Gotta feel it to heal it.”

[@brianmuruatetu8604]

​

[@samanthaguillory8618]

AMAZING! EVERYTHING SHE SAYS MAKES PERFECT SENSE AS LONG AS YOU Actually listen and try to process/comprehend the words coming out of her mouth. She breaks everything down giving her audience such a clear and vivid understanding of the logic and reasoning of the power of vulnerability based on her twelve years of research! Facts don't lie! Thank You +Dr. Brene Brown for "stepping into the arena" and educating the world with your brilliant research!

[@aliciaswaringen5732]

I believe that if everyone listened to Brene and took her advice to heart, the world could solve alot of problems very quickly!!

[@sudiptochowdhury9831]

true that

[@sudiptochowdhury9831]

true that

[@sudiptochowdhury9831]

true that

[@bath4lambchop]

+Alicia Swaringen I think TV, magazines and media would have to go out of business.

[@karenbass7816]

😀😄😍😀

[@T_Cup]

Dr. Brown has given me a lot to think about. Especially this particular note, which I related to on an almost spiritual level : "That sucks. But too bad and God is on my side." But all jokes aside, I'll definitely be coming back for a second viewing after chewing on this talk for a little while.

[@maribelgonz]

I was in a relationship with a person who I could not open up and share my struggles. I tried it a few times and he showed no empathy and immediately I felt shame, rejection and extreme sadness. I had to be vulnerable with others who leveled with me and provided support. This was one of the reasons why I decided we had to part ways. I chose to surround myself around people who love me because of my vulnerability and weaknesses.

[@MT-sw8rf]

@maribel gonzales - or you need someone to listen to your whinge 24/7? 🤮🤮😂

[@nursegaines3519]

I completely understand this. People who are emotionally unavailable are hard to have relationships with

[@Douglas77755]

@@MT-sw8rf why are you here?

[@CaTDlovely]

I can relate Maribel. I'm Christian and my ex is too, but that does not guarantee empathy and understanding, for some ppl it promotes judgements and shame. We were never able to reach a level of intimacy where I felt comfortable being around him, instead he triggered my trust issues and walls to come up. He was so oblivious and upset that we weren't close bc in his mind he was such a stand up guy, and he did have a lot of great qualities, but was completely lacking self awareness. I couldn't see myself spending the rest of my life with someone I couldn't be myself around.

[@wendinelson6355]

Im at this fork in the road. Hard

[@Darlaa_gonz]

Learning all of this has made me excited about the healing and growth in my life and specially about how I can be better to the people I love. Thank you Brene.

[@manakin5]

Extraordinary presentation. Dr. Brown has given a useful terminology and a real means of discussion to some vitally important concepts. Amazing stuff.

[@anarchobuddhist]

Best Brené Brown discourse on KZbin ❤

[@MsGnor]

Thank you for sharing this, RSA. So appreciated. Love Brené's ability to clarify these murky waters.

[@lanawebster2078]

Brene, your messages are so easy and helpful to listen to....my daughter and I follow you, have your books, mention you and your work to others. This is your time! The way you speak is so genuine. I would love to meet you, sit in your class, take you to lunch. You are amazing. Thank you for being you. I too am a born and bred Texan who lives in Houston.

[@rosarsanchez9219]

Amen 😞thank you very much for sharing an excellent online therapy God bless you ❤️🙏🏻🙂

[@devidaughter7782]

oh yes, it's like a free therapy/ psycho education with a world renowned expert/ thought-leader/ empathy warrior!

[@shybilly3072]

yes yes yes that's what I'm taking about... I knew I was right... VULNERABILITY is strength not weakness..... I not afraid to be vulnerable... it helps me on my healing journey... thank you

[@DanielWentzel2505]

Dr Brené Brown provides excellent advice and her literature comes highly recommended.

[@squidamigo9713]

19:50 Am I the only one who was raised to hear “bless your heart” as a positive? One of my fondest memories of my grandma is when she said it to me to express how much she loved me.

[@darkfeather6857]

She's the second or third person I've heard express bless your heart as something negative. Maybe it's a white thing. All the black people I know use it as a positive expression as it sounds.

[@heatherk4401]

When someone can emphasise with me in my situation, I feel HONOURED.

[@martinakirke8583]

i'm so glad that i can watch videos like this and stuff from ted, it helps me to sort out my thoughts... thanks to brene and all the others that make this happen :-)

[@user-ne3qu5re3c]

Yeah🎉🎉🎉🎉 people who make sense💯💯💯💯

[@stillnessspeaks1180]

Thank you Dr Brene Brown .

[@jenniferlilly3115]

Asked for a miracle....Thanks for responding. Exactly what's needed.

[@susiegutierrez3603]

The truth hurts. This was right on point. Crying is good apart of growth..

[@michaeljohnson4473]

I had no problem getting what she was saying about her approach to her sister that was expressed in the previous comment. She said her sister is one of her primary connections she can call and talk to like that knowing she will be understood. At least that how it is for me and my primaries as well most people I know. I think people who share those kinds of connections of deep reliability are very open to those kind of demands being made on them and expect the same in return when they need it. And, yes, she showed how messy her own life is around what she is teaching and advocating. To me that is vulnerable, responsible, and authentic.

[@diamon1312]

Excellent job. She gave me so many details on my personnel behaivior and most of all why I didn't have the Wright responds from others even if I did my best to engage communication. Thanks so much.

[@louisruffin6808]

It hurts to be judged and condemned for things that I'm weak in

[@ASLCoach]

PERFECT ASL interpretation! Thank you for taking the time for accuracy.

[@djbrown3274]

Love this ~~ So very insightful

[@louisruffin6808]

We all need each other

[@JamesRycman]

Was talking of this - vulnerability, self, #empathy and happiness - just the other night. I like the clear differentiation of sympathy (feeling for) vs empathy (feeling with) and shame (I am) vs guilt (I did).

[@JamesRycman]

Another clear distinction between two cloudy concepts. - bribe (before work) and reward (after work).

[@Runfasthq]

great work awesome research an information. one of the best presenters i have ever seen. keep up the great work Brene.

[@elceec]

Thought provoking and honest.

[@aneliakeet5091]

Amazing. Seriously life changing stuff.

[@suebdunlap]

So true...simple explanation we can all understand

[@NilgunYetis]

Thank you for sharing this lovely speech

[@louisruffin6808]

Rejection comes in many forms

[@Rula37]

Thank you for great talk, lol about blaming coffee cup ! Just amazing ! Many lessons , thank you again, blessings

[@joyjones7745]

So some of us want a solution, some want hope, others reassurance, advice, empathy, relief, to share, to understand, to explain, to manipulate, to deceive, an accomplice (lol) and some of us just want someone who will listen...thanks for the insight Brene.

[@The_yoga_girl_]

Love Brene!

[@gayatriaudiosclipsjsk6270]

Powerful eye opener session on POV 👌👌👍👍❤

[@RealTalk-mq2ug]

I am tormented. How to find my way out of this pain? Please Lord, let me die. I can no longer bear the hell I'm in. I pray eternal suffering on him and her for what they've done to me. I am drowning in 999-trillion layers of grief and despair. HE DISCARDED ME LIKE GARBAGE, AND REPLACED ME WITH ANOTHER! I am submerged in darkness. I AM HAUNTED. I am taunted. I AM TERRIFIED. I AM FILLED WITH PANIC AND TERROR. I AM FLOODED WITH PANIC ATTACKS. The pain and the panic and the terror are truly unbearable.

[@tamayagarner1542]

would love to hear a show in discussion with Brene Brown and Malcolm Gladwell. Can you imagine! would be fantastic

[@hennuhpi]

This was so good.

[@rhondarose9497]

Love your statement on social media!! I agree

[@louisruffin6808]

Love can mend

[@LovingAtlanta]

👍On point in some ways on some points. Please note: Empathy can only be given, not demanded.

[@jusshailey]

DAMN you Steve! I love Brene.

[@AucklandNZ1]

From Lake Taupo, New Zealand

[@michellegilder1558]

Amazing 💚

[@katbird158]

The problem with empathy is psychopaths. You can only be vulnerable after a time with a "normal" person.

[@tembekamakonco4736]

6:32 says it all for me, we are enough

[@Siobhan94404]

23:07 what's going on? Love this woman's eloquence and vulnerability!

[@summerfields2291]

Love and belonging. That really is what makes or breaks us isn't it!? I knew that but she said so simply and truly that is exactly what I lack as to why I really don't even want leave my house 1/2 the time. To feel unloved and rejected is the worse feeling in the world and the stuff communes are made of!

[@benjaminben6200]

Sorry dear

[@devidaughter7782]

sympathy?@@benjaminben6200

[@daisylovewilde]

ty that’s all ty

[@chunumummy4161]

That's times was fighting against power only , naw is time of corelation with passing life's essential live with must Education for future's struggle generation.

[@TheFernando9999]

LEADERS need to practice authentic vulnerability .Authenticity is living your life according to your own needs and values rather than those that society, friends, and family expect from you. Living authentically offers several benefits, including respect from others, the ability to realize your true potential, and happiness and well-being. Vulnerability is being brave to ask for feedback when you need it. Vulnerability is the birthplace of trust, empathy and creativity. Feeling vulnerable makes you face the experience fully and almost embrace it, Dealing with non-conscious or conscious vulnerability means you can tolerate the feelings of sadness, shame, helplessness, anger, embarrassment, disappointment, or frustration. That is what it takes. Why? Because these are the feelings that most commonly result when life circumstances, events, or situations don’t turn out the way you want. And if you can handle these seven feelings, then you can handle being vulnerable, whether at a conscious or non-conscious level. In conclusion: Every emotion needs t be processed by our body and the best way to do so is through expression .Our body is like a vessel, and emotions keep filling it. Negative emotions need to leave our body and mind for positive ones so we thrive in achieving our true potential and become more aware of or real identity :INFINITE LOVE AND COMPASSION .Embracing vulnerability requires you to be aware of what you really feel, why you feel what you feel and understand what is causing you trouble References 1. Brown, B. (2015). Daring greatly: How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent and lead. New York: Avery. 2. Porges, S. (2004). Neuroception: A subconscious system for detecting threats and safety. Zero to three, 24, no.5: 19-24. 3. Rosenberg, J.I. (2019). 90 seconds to a life you love: How to master your difficult feelings to cultivate lasting confidence, resilience and authenticity. New York: Little, Brown Spark. 4. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-mastery/202008/how-be-more-vulnerable-and-authentic 5 .www.linkedin.com/advice/1/how-do-you-measure-impact-vulnerability-authenticity?src=go-pa&trk=sem-ga_campid.19968655396_asid.146701155774_crid.659551433428_kw._d.c_tid.dsa-2078847003334_n.g_mt._geo.9032311&mcid=7052054652627943424&cid=&gclid=CjwKCAjw67ajBhAVEiwA2g_jEHmFJF4QgZHpZMYgQwaLrcfat1LNoaFlszbiT8FeDfezMHOpzph-9BoCEbIQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds 6. kzbin.info/www/bejne/h37dc6lpaq2Vgs0

[@anjalimudra6512]

i love you!!!!!!!

[@chunumummy4161]

Use and throw Right ? Never !!!!

[@louisruffin6808]

Exactly

[@Neeshpeesh123]

I like what she’s saying and she’s right but how do you heal the shame. Be vulnerable and heal? How do you take off the armor?

[@devidaughter7782]

oh such great question; I can really relate!

[@erlemeyer7336]

What do you think about the concept "humbleness"? Could that be the key to a healthy heartbeat?

[@louisruffin6808]

Blame releaves the blamer of any kind of chance to help the people that they Blame and to always make the blamer feel better than them

[@iwnunn7999]

What I wouldn't give to have been a student of hers. Any current or former students of Brene's out there?

[@louisruffin6808]

All of the forms are hurtful

[@DonswatchingtheTube]

She's talking about need and expectations and your ability to control them. The problem comes from the old scenario when Cain asked: "Am I my brother's keeper?" We have concerns for ourselves, so we know others have them as well, hence the teaching "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." So trying to match other people's expectations and knowing our own limitations creates an inability to save ourselves. Then there are external realities, the natural world and our mortality. I'm not sure about her about examples of sympathy and empathy, her analogy didn't portray someone being sympathetic, rather someone paying lip-service, without a personal understanding. Sympathy would be the moment you feel and understand it and empathy when you share it.

[@louisruffin6808]

It's a quick way to get judged quickly

[@TheKrispyfort]

Dear bloke in the stage, You really look like you're not enjoying yourself. I hope whatever it was on your mind at the time resolved well

[@saisandfriends]

cool!!!

[@broderickef]

What does RSA stand for?

[@96kimbo]

Royal Society for the encouragement of Arts, Manufacturers and Commerce

[@GlennSyndallius]

Salman Rushdie in the audience? Front row??

[@skyjockbill]

No, that's not Salman Rushdie.

[@louisruffin6808]

I'll be quite

[@eggheadeinstein]

She explains why right-wing states and provinces tend to also be natural-resource wealthy territories. Since many of their citizens have never had to test themselves in the real world, but have been able to rely on what they were born into, they have never been vulnerable. Hence, they have a great deal less empathy than in the urban cities in which we have all been made to feel vulnerable at some point. This applies even more accurately to people born into wealth who inherited or were endowed with large sums of money before they had a chance to find themselves through connection fused by suffering. Many wealthy born into insular dynasties never mature fully, retain teenage materialistic competitiveness, and as a result are naturally cruel as teenagers well into adulthood. Again, many of them find identity along the right-wing political spectrum. I find their dependence on religion and G-d an excuse for their lack of feeling empathy towards human beings. Furthermore their reliance on the economy as indicator of who they vote for illustrates a disconnect from the humanity that surrounds them, as well as ignorance that one economy is as connected to other economies as individuals are connected to other people. Not all, of course this is hardly science, but overall the shoe fits too well to ignore without feeling like a liar by omission. Brene's Texas family motto being lock and load is just one tiny example of the correlation. Their lack of empathy clearly evident by ignoring the fact life is not so smooth when others are involved, others who will have likely shot them dead by firing while they are still graciously locking and loading. I have a strong feeling I know exactly how Brene found herself in this field: By being born into a family of arrogant Texan assholes. The one exception being whoever named her Brene and had the courage to even go so far as applying a french accent.

[@elleransom4052]

Egghead Einstein... you are a genius..well said

[@Anna-ki3hw]

You need to meet more people & expand your limiting views. I believe you will be enlightened & more welcoming of balanced thoughts :-)

[@StorytellingHeadshots]

That doesn’t really make sense when you think about how the Southern states were devastated after the civil war. Also northern states have most of the major “coastal” cities that are centres of wealth (LA, Silicon Valley, NYC, Chicago, etc…)

[@menosproblemos6993]

Well you don't have to STOP looking for external validation. If you'd ignore if people accept what you do or not then that'd include pushing parents away to eat their babies, pardon my French. External validation is a big part of functioning in society. And it'd probably be a good idea to now and then, especially with new people, check to see if what you're doing is validated or not. For all you know you might have been surrounded by crazy people when you got validated the first time. And even if most people are okay with what you're doing, perhaps there's one person who's really really not okay with it, and sometimes to keep doing something that someone really really dislikes can be dangerous - For you or for the other person. And the other way around as well; if there's something that you're used to keep on a down low but you don't have to because you're around people whom accept that thing then, if you're yourself is okay with it as well, you are free to do it. Don't eat babies btw. It's just an example. Then there's the internet which blows this concept of 'feeling the room' out of our biological brain water. I guess it's good to know that you can always shut the internet down when you need a break from 'all them haters'.

[@JoePlomo]

Wow!!! Repeat

[@creamsaroyan6666]

What’s wrong with Snookie?

[@eliomiro7855]

''GLBT''?

[@Thepankaz1]

When women share their problems with men, why shouldn't men solve the problem. we dont do it because we want to make women feel inferior, we solve it because there is a problem. Not just men everyone should work toward solving a problem.

[@natalieinthewild]

I think it might be helpful and inclusive if you prefaced that men and women mean "Cis men and Cis women"

[@HeatherFaraMS]

It’s an interesting topic itself. I am in the growing majority that likely just goes with the gender a person self identifies with. l have no idea what someone trans, passing, etc personally identifies with stereotypically. I expect like myself, they will only identify with some of it…probably older Midwestern and southern women identify most. .

[@chunumummy4161]

Capturing to "a Soule " is possible ? And so that's only Revenge and keep equal to Right butt never his part of responsibility; happened in past mahabharata and so thats they destroyed for ever, and lasting without base ? Is , without any care or careless or useless for ? Asking to Supreme .

[@tukkajumala]

I was somewhat with her during her presentation but in the Q&A she kind of lost it, and by the end of the video she showed us what she is really like. She tells a tale that is wonderful on the surface, and she most certainly tries to live it, but I still can't shake the feeling that there is a fundamental piece missing both from her personal philosophy and from her understanding of empathy, to truly catch the deepest meaning of it. When she says near the end that she tends to call her sister and demand empathy ("I'm gonna tell you hard stuff, don't you say a fricking word and don't you dare to call me back"), I think she unknowingly admits that she really doesn't grasps the root meaning of empathy. She demands what she wants, which is obedience and attention, and she is not giving her sister a choice. Empathy is not taken, it can only be given. Saying what she says on the phone is very hurtful and bad by itself, but the worst thing is to tell it without any shame, like it was a joke. The audience laughs and she revels in their approval. She places an emotional burden on her loved one (sister) and gives nothing back, feeling good herself but never really caring for her sister's feelings. The sister might not want to listen and she might be having hard time herself but if she is timid, she won't say a word, just listens and tries to bear the burden. That makes me feel so sad for the sister and Mrs. Brown loses the last bit of respect I held for her views. She gave a lot of hints along the video of her own lack of true understanding, but I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. She had a lot of KZbin-hits after all and she is kind of famous, so I believed she knew what she was talking about. However, studying the meaning behind her words for a couple minutes gives away the mask. It is no wonder that she might consider criticizing letters as "unconstructive" or "hurtful", if people raised opinions like this. She might do allright if she could face her obvious narcissism and come to terms with it. Narcissism you ask? Yes, she is a dominating narcissist, who talks about empathy but lacks the natural ability for it. A truly empathic person doesn't let hurtful things "slip" and not feel guilty. A truly empathic person feels even in the imaginary scenario the feelings of the other person and never even considers a hurtful comment to be funny or entertaining. She showed no remorse on the occasions she "slipped" and this lack of empathy makes her narcissistic. I am sorry if someone who reads this far finds my opinion of her offensive, but I only reference what she said and base my analysis on that. By the way I should know what I'm talking about, since I'm a narcissist myself. I try to get rid of it with the help of my wife, but I can tell it's not easy and there is no magic pill to empathy. Just a lot of hard work and a lot of disappointments, but I can already feel it will all be worth the pain.

[@Sue_jones]

Caduzeus very interesting analysis...

[@LovingAtlanta]

+ Caduzeus - Thank you. Well said and insightful. On some points I agree with you, not so much on others. Definitely food for thought. 🤗💞🤗

[@louisruffin6808]

It's not that good to be vulnerable.

[@celebrity_rooster7488]

RSA Replay - The Power of Vulnerability aka RSA Replay - The Power of Laziness

[@mohammadghasemi6115]

ایول

[@louisruffin6808]

Exactly