r/AmITheA--hole for Seducing the Neighborhood Karen?

[@cecejamesable]

3rd story, she damn well knows she fucked up because neither she nor her step-daughter said anything or responded because they can't turn it around on OP, it's 100% their fault, there is no excuse for badmouthing the son who wanted to spend the day with them. I hope OP takes a long hard look at their relationship because, it doesn't look good.

[@Ambidexter143]

Being an introvert does not mean one is socially awkward. Wife obviously despises son and is using his introversion as an excuse to exclude him from family gatherings. OP is NTA but wife and stepdaughter are.

[@ThEjOkErIsWiLd00]

After hearing what they said I would call a family meeting and lay down the ultimatum "If you accept me as family then you must accept my son as well, we are a package deal, both or neither."

[@cecejamesable]

@@ThEjOkErIsWiLd00 I'd tell her to never come back, all their shit will be on the lawn. There's no way this was the first time they acted that way towards him. I'd put my first paycheck on that.

[@Dondizle]

Poor little lad. I couldn't imagine what it's like to lose a parent at such a young age. He's obviously going through some stuff and he's probably struggling to talk about it. But gosh, to have a step-mother like that is definitely going to make him bottle everything up even more, especially being introverted and being pushed out. You can tell she's a great mother because she bullies, and she's teaching her daughter to be a bully. She definitely doesn't deserve a Mother's Day.

[@ThEjOkErIsWiLd00]

@@Dondizle Ummm, I think you left out "not" in your second-to-last sentence, might want to edit that.

[@theavatarofinsanity]

Is Ben like the coddled golden child of his family with everybody just enabling his behaviour?

[@silverflight01]

Considering how everyone reacted to the breakup, it is very probable

[@CooperGal24]

Sounds about right! They’ll protect the “Golden Son”, EVEN if he abuses a pet or MURDERS an innocent person! MEANWHILE, OP defends and protects their SIL by r veal ing the truth and THEY’RE the ones who are deemed the “Villain” of the family! ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING! OP, you’re WAY better off disowning THEM, not the other way around! You’ll know that’s a better decision when the family starts trying to communicate with you, asking for money, to babysit the kids, take care of the elderly families and asking you to “crash” at your place for countless months! Again, BETTER OFF WITHOUT THOSE TOXIC A-HOLES!

[@maggpiprime954]

Yep! I came to that conclusion also. (I wanted to say "ding ding ding you won the prize" but thought it might sound sarcastic.)

[@nyxspiritsong5557]

@@maggpiprime954 I love sarcasm..... but yeah sarcasm doesn't come thru very well via text lol I found that out the hard way! 😅

[@maggpiprime954]

@@nyxspiritsong5557 Or if you DON'T want to sound sarcastic, but text twists it that way! 😭

[@MizTameRumors]

A man who records his toddler crying because she has no mommy, rather than comforting her, is NOT a great father.

[@taxevader7777]

Yeah, if you’re gonna neglect your toddler so you can instead use her emotional pain as a way to guilt trip someone into pretending to be the kids mom, you should not be allowed custody of kids.

[@YukoHoon]

He definetely isn't, since he chose to destroy his kids' lives by cheating. It was probably NOT an easy divorce and that's why the eldest two decided to cut him out. The other two are too young to understand but give them time and I'm pretty sure they'll ditch him the blink of an eye.

[@genseven4616]

I agree so every time a woman does it she sucks as a mother and needs her kids taken from her and given to the father.

[@CanteLizzie]

He's the worst. The ex just wants OP to basically adopt Juniper and take care of her so he doesn't have too. Makes me think that poor girl won't have a good childhood.

[@genseven4616]

@@CanteLizzie how do you know? Are you a mind reader? Cool, tell me what I'm thinking.

[@dracko158]

Karen: "You pervert!" Also Karen: **Records OP posing sexually** The neighbor wouldn't be a Karen without being a hypocrite, amirite?

[@1985toyotacamry]

Right

[@songohan3321]

Pretty much the definition of being a Karen.

[@DHTheAlaskan]

It is in the nature of the Karen.

[@blepala]

I mean she stopped recording

[@happydragon7095]

@@blepala The fact that she's recording him at his own home at all is weird and gross.

[@alliewoulfe1171]

Poor Juniper! She's going to think there's something wrong with her, that 'mama' won't take her too. This is where her dad should be telling her that her mama is gone and stop foisting the responsibility onto OP. Dad needs to tell her and make her understand that OP is 'not your mama'.

[@riotplanetxo]

Kinda of a hard to have a death talk with a baby

[@doomking5174]

@@riotplanetxo then dont have her nearby. It's not OP's obligation to go through reminder after reminder of her ex's betrayal.

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

@@riotplanetxo then don't have a death talk.....but at least be honest with Juniper about OP.....because what if dad remarries....then things get crazy messy.

[@mariposa9506]

@@riotplanetxo Not really. "You have a mommy who loves you very much and held you close when you were a baby.. She is only your mommy, not your brothers mommy, but she is gone to heaven, and watches over you from there. She left me, your brothers, and your grandma to take care of you and love you every day, but she will always be your mommy". How hard is that?

[@riotplanetxo]

@@mariposa9506 how about when the father remarries? I

[@DarkEinherjar]

As an introvert myself, that mother's day story angers me. Introverts do socialize like everyone else, they just can't do it for very long and need more time alone to "recharge". What that woman did was totally divorce material. What kind of monster says those things to a kid who lost their mother? 4,5/5 was too good for her.

[@songohan3321]

Finally someone gets it!

[@xxAliceNightxx]

Exactly! I'm more introverted than extroverted and sometimes after social interactions it'll take me a whole day to recharge. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy the social interactions it just means that sometimes the recharge isn't worth the interaction

[@DeadDancers]

It makes me wonder if the woman actively disliked an attendee who wouldn’t… I don’t know. Shower her with attention? Some people, especially in their teens or low twenties, are going to be at events on their phones, tuning out the world and maybe looking up once or twice to offer congratulations and that’s it. It might frustrate you or offend you - but ultimately, how you feel about it is all on you and how you are perceiving their behaviour. If it vexes you? Have a think about why and then adjust your expectations. Otherwise your unhappiness if kinda of your fault. (Edit: ‘you’ being the woman in the story above ^_^)

[@fdm2155]

Yeah, I'm an extrovert HOWEVER that doesn't mean I'm always upbeat and outgoing in a room full of people I don't necessarily know all that well. And what difference does it make if the kid doesn't talk to EVERY member of her family? Sounds like the step mom is a narcissist who thinks she needs to 'fix' the kid just because his personality is different from her own.

[@cecejamesable]

Thank you, dear person with sense. I enjoy hanging out with people, as an introvert but it gets draining as fuck after awhile. I don't know how some people do it constantly.

[@nikonarshe9296]

3rd Story: this stepmom is a hypocrite. She doesn't accept op's son as her own but clearly she expects op to accept her daughter?

[@braidygal]

My thought was, I mean, you’re not the mom of MY kid, so why should I celebrate it with you?

[@It-is-me...Melsie]

Yes, a hypocrite as well as a nasty person.

[@williammcconville4967]

Welcome to the mind of most women

[@It-is-me...Melsie]

@@williammcconville4967 Crikey Willie! You definitely need to get out more. All of that basement dwelling is not helping you at all.

[@williammcconville4967]

@@It-is-me...Melsie don't have a basement maybe you will see when you crawl out from under your rock. Iv seen a few times so whatever you think

[@remylarrivee2047]

I feel like that Karen in the 1st story deserves more than 2/5...I would give her at least 3.5/5 for sure! I mean if the gender roles were swapped and a creepy old man was recording a young (mid/late 20s) woman, that old creep would be getting crucified everywhere because A woman's body is her own and you can't video tape her without her consent.(Which is 100% true) BUT that also applies to MEN!!! What that creepy old woman did is more of sexual harassment than what OP did!! OP gets 0/5 AH for sure!!

[@broodceiling742]

Agreed!

[@The_Red_Legion]

I agree!

[@Twinklethefox9022]

That's how it works now unfortunately. Like I get women are victims most likely but men can be too. To me, if anyone is recording someone without their say so... It's creepy. And maybe borderline stalking.

[@remylarrivee2047]

@@Twinklethefox9022 100% agree!!

[@pbtugas9892]

agree. its pathetic amd disgusting of her to video op "just because"? women like her is what made me despise humanity even more

[@lancers7]

It's a heartbreaking situation for juniper but the OP isn't too blame for this. The father needs to figure out a way to get this resolved without her.

[@fdm2155]

Yes, it's not like dad and Juniper need to be at the front door when OP collects the boys. They are plenty old enough to meet their mom on their own. Dad is clearly making sure Juniper is there and sees OP. He could take her elsewhere in the house and distract her.

[@greenbean1604]

@@fdm2155 oii8

[@lemontangs]

We had a news story here in OZ a few years back where a two story house was built and the new owners complained they could see the guy next door walking about his backyard without a shirt on. He in response began working out daily in the backyard naked. The neighbours soon got frosted windows added to the side windows looking in.

[@Ambidexter143]

Now that takes balls, which the guy showed he had.

[@danielbrant6740]

@@Ambidexter143 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@danielbrant6740]

Now _that's_ a malicious compliance story! "Don't want me shirtless in my own backyard? OK! _[Removes pants & underwear]_ Is that better?"

[@angelashortall9778]

My heart hurts for Juniper But you’re not her mom. Itd be more confusing for you to teach this child that’s not yours you’re her mother when you’re not.

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

Exactly

[@random27]

Sounds like free daycare so he can screw around

[@angelashortall9778]

@@random27 YOu'Re TaKInG cARe Of mY OThEr kIdS THo

[@nosirjustlemons2068]

It just sucks because it seems like she’s growing up with her half brothers and sees them as family but is confused by op ignoring her. It fucking sucks a lot.

[@BonnerDoesYouTube]

@@angelashortall9778 My response would be "Yeah, because I went through nine months carrying every single one of them, had a good thing going with you, and you just HAD to ruin it. Look what you've done. Josh and his sister don't want to be within a mile of you, the other two are too young to understand what their father did, and I'm frankly not going to be a mother to a baby that YOU created outside of what WE had. Take your shit somewhere else, or we won't talk again."

[@emilyemily9831]

The father is absolutely trying to manipulate OP through Juniper in the last story. Like, he could have told the daughter to refer to OP as Auntie or explain that OP isn’t her mom in an age appropriate way.

[@starchild8822]

Very well said, kids are often smarter than we give them credit for and it's better to explain things to them, in a way they'll understand of course

[@velvety2006]

nah he wants to soften op up, first, it's gonna be trips, then it's gonna be a weekend, then a week, and then juniper is gonna be staying with for most of the time freeing up the exes time to do as he pleases.

[@leumasecallaw6313]

@@velvety2006 why would that be the case when its not the case for the two sons. Hes nit trying to give up on being a parent. Op even said hes a great dad. Hes trying to guilt trip op into helping him deal with a situation he doesnt know how to handle. Dick move but hardly trying to drop juniper on op for good

[@greatpower6063]

i mean i don't think she cares about the kid's feelings at all...so i doubt being called some other family name other than her actual first name would be ok with her. She seems really cold to be honest. It's not Juniper's fault her dad is a cheater and it's not like she's old enough to know better. IF she was an 18 year old and still trying the "mom" thing, I could understand being direct or setting a boundary about how she talks but just ignoring a little girl when they're crying to you for attention as their mother is pretty cold-hearted.

[@Diviance]

@@greatpower6063 Nothing wrong with being cold-hearted in this situation.

[@kolerick]

let's be frank: parents are weaponizing their children everyday when they're separated... there is no doubt that the cheater father is doing it with his daughter who isn't even OP child... that's not always the case, but classic enough that it's no wonder some children simply don't want the drama when they're older themselves...

[@abrahamthebewildered1448]

"Weaponizing their children." I just pictured a toddler that has been turned into a super advanced cyborg. She... Is... Robobaby! "Give hug. You have 20 seconds to comply." Yeah... My brain works different.

[@joshdillon9637]

@@abrahamthebewildered1448 KID209, haha.

[@threegsgaming6959]

Fourth story: honestly, Abby dodged a nuke. Not only is Ben a pathetic drunk, but the family is AWFUL. NTA

[@morgandouglas6014]

I agree. OP did nothing wrong. Ben clearly never loved Abby. Abby deserves better.

[@BonnieHalfElven]

I do think that Abby should have left this guy a LONG time ago. 18 years with no ring is too long. There were flags long before this.

[@Ambidexter143]

OP was being a good friend to Abby while letting Ben hang himself with his own rope. OP is a heroine and NTA. Family and friends dumping on OP show their disregard for Abby which makes them totally TAH. Ben deserves more than five buttholes but that's the max allowed.

[@spicydiarrhea5662]

Benis

[@BurningWell]

He didn't want to get married, she knew why. She tried to force him because she wanted to be a princess for a day. Why is it his feeling don't matter because the woman wants a party all about her?

[@leogol6045]

First story: Always with the double standards, to the point where he is asking if he's in the wrong. Imagine if it was an old man creepily recording a young woman. He handled it pretty well, all things considered. He could have called the police (and should've).

[@fdm2155]

She's it's interesting because assuming OP was publicly visible and the old lady wasn't tresspassing to gain access, she's doing nothing illegal. BUT we all know that a young woman could call the cops to report a male neighbor doing the same thing and the cops would very likely come and tell him his behavior was unacceptable, potentially illegal ie stalking or something similar.

[@Emeraldwitch30]

@@fdm2155 even as a man this old lady could be stalking him under several states laws. Shes targeting him specifically and it can be considered harassment. I'd have a lawyer send her a C & D. The fact that she has gone onto their property to complain shows intent to harass. I have had not one but 2 stalkers I learned far more about this kind of shit than I wanted to know.

[@gregmiller3523]

@@fdm2155 Don't forget, filming someone without their consent is often considered illegal in many states and even in the states that do allow it, it is usually only under certain circumstances. I think with the constant harassment and her making it clear that it is about him and only him he could quite easily start the ball rolling with the cops. Though the cops tend not to take these sorts of cases very seriously.

[@fdm2155]

@@gregmiller3523 No, generally if you are visible in public (including your unfenced yard) you have no expectation of privacy and can't stop someone from filming you. I think the factor that makes this scenario different is the continued filming ie potential harrassment or stalker situation. And as I said earlier, I think the genders and ages would mean cops are unlikely to be helpful to OP.

[@gregmiller3523]

@@fdm2155 Actually, in the US if you have a reasonable expectation of privacy you can't be filmed, or I should say, someone else isn't allowed to record you. Though that may differ from state to state.

[@IxRAINxPAIN]

This joke of a dad really recorded his daughter instead of trying to console her.... WOW. Sounds to me she needs dad more than a mom

[@ret3556]

i just imagen him saying hold on honey i need a picture of you oops that one is blurry keep crying actually no I need a video. There we go now hopefully this gets rid of my kid for a couple of days. Man i am such an amazing father oh wait yeah i almost forgot now i got to consol my daughter

[@bigmanjelly]

As someone who had to endure a lifetime of a cruel step parent that behaved differently behind the back of my real parent, that third story hits so much worse. I guarantee they mistreat that not tenfold when dad isn’t around. Step parents ain’t shit.

[@damekkoDark]

eh, I have the opposite experience, both my biological and step dads were awesome but in this story? step family definitely don't treat that boy right

[@sinbadwilliams7186]

My story involved my mother getting remarried to a women... a racist woman who hated me since my father was black and made the next 3 years of my life a living hell. Then my mom divorced her... and then married someone who was actually even worse than the 1st wife!

[@twistysunshine]

My situation is that my bio dad was shit, the stepdad was shit too but slightly less and then the stepmom was fine. I think bc of the power they can have over your life parents can be so damaging

[@sinarodl663]

Step-parents aren't always shit! My step-dad is absolutely godsent - I love him so much more than I could ever "love" my bio dad. Because of me having had grown up without a father for ten years though, I can't call my step-dad "dad" or "papa" though, I'm just not used to that. I do love him a lot though, and I'm thankful he's in my life.

[@jelly_4_brainz]

What the hell??? You guys get *dads?*

[@neilprice513]

Third Story: Yeah I'm with rSlash. That wasn't the first time OP's wife and Stepdaughter were bullying his son and was just the first time they were caught.

[@Forold]

My dads neighbor from when my dad was young had a saying. If I saw you do it once, then you've done it ten times. If I saw you do it ten times, then you've done it a hundred times.

[@FazeFalcon]

Last story: Father is engaging in emotional blackmail. Maybe he's not telling the daughter that the ex-wife is mother, but I'd bet he's doing literally nothing to discourage it. No evidence, but I'd also think he calls her "Mom" or similar while the boys are visiting. Too many details missing for me to "score" the OP, but I'd put father at 3 or maybe even 4. I feel so sorry for the young girl. She is desperate for attention/affection, and the father is being (perhaps unintentionally) cruel like this.

[@avatarofaiyel]

The boys will eventually pick up on the fact that Mom is really cold with their little sister. Even without the father doubling down on the manipulation, that could damage her relationship with them. If he does decide to extend since of that manipulation to the boys he could burn their relationship with her to the ground. Not right, not fair, but she needs to tread very carefully.

[@KittenUndercover]

The Juniper one hurts my heart. Why can’t the dad drop the boys off and leave Juniper at home with a family member so they’re not rubbing it in her face?

[@erisbyrne1873]

I agree, if I was in that situation I would take Juniper into another room another play with her or something just before the mom comes. The dad shouldn't allow Juniper to keep seeing the other kids interact with the mom when it's so upsetting to her.

[@Tenacitybrit]

I bet 100% that hes deliberately against that idea just to get back at OP in some way, basically forcing her to interact with Juniper in some way to make OP guilty. The fact that he'd rather make videos of Juniper crying instead of consoling her solidifies that theory in my mind. No genuinely loving Dad would weaponize their child against an Ex like that.

[@DarkEinherjar]

I rationalize that he was originally planning to dump all parent duties on Juniper's mom, probably even cheat on her too. He already cheated on with his first wife, so I can totally see him doing it with the second one. However, because Juniper's mom died and he knows he's never planning to be a father, he's expecting OP to fulfill his parent role so he can go stick his penis into other women.

[@yonpark6245]

@@Tenacitybrit Hard agree

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

@@Tenacitybrit yes...the moment he was recording showed that he is doing it to manipulate. And not for Juniper's well being.....and makes me certain that it isn't copying her boys, but the dad telling Juniper things....that is especially why it started as mumbling mom....she is a kid...juniper started out just mumbling 'mom' because she didn't think she should be saying it....to me that proves it was coached.

[@auberginebear]

Story 4: NTA; as hurtful as it was to hear those things, Abby deserved to hear how Ben really felt. Honestly, maybe it's better the family don't want anything to do with OP, they sound horrible.

[@jpthomas587]

Story four: OP didn’t do a single thing wrong in that situation. All they did was let Abby see the monster she was about to marry. But her FAMILY, oh no no no! They want someone to blame because they encouraged him to stay in a relationship only for the other person in the relationship to find out the truth. If anything, that’s THEIR fault. D(definitely not the a**hole)NTA

[@fdm2155]

Yes, that outcome was wild. The family clearly think it's fine for Ben to have strung Abby along for YEARS, ditched her at the alter TWICE and admitted he doesn't actually want to marry her, he's just to lazy/scared to find someone else. WTAF!? If anything, the sister did them both a favor.

[@BurningWell]

Why is he a monster when SHE was the one trying to force him into a marriage that he wasn't comfortable with because of his past trauma? He committed himself to her for 18 years, everything but a wedding, but that wasn't good enough.

[@JD-mh8be]

@@BurningWell I see you wanna defend Ben but how do you justify the fact that the only reason he didn’t leave her was because he didn’t want to be single again? Not because he was committed (because he has commitment issues from his past) he didn’t loved her from the sound of it to me

[@BurningWell]

@@JD-mh8be He was drunk and venting while under a lot of stress. If she loved him, she would have respected his boundaries and feelings and been happy with what was effectively a marriage in everything but name.

[@autumnjey4683]

@@BurningWell if he loved her, he wouldn't have abandoned her at the altar twice. even if she did "push him to get married" as you keep saying, he still had to agree to it and needs to take responsibility. quit defending this drunken loser

[@TheYeastofMyConcerns]

The pregnancy jar story was awesome. I wish I would have thought of that… my ex sister-in-law would ask us no less than 4 times a visit every visit for 9 years when my husband and I were having kids, despite us saying we were not interested. I got SO fed up with it. Kind of disappointed she didn’t make it to the wedding the following 10th year, because the second she asked I was going to start hounding her on why she (with three kids from my brother-in-law) wasn’t married yet.

[@sherylcascadden4988]

My sister and her husband spent thousands on fertility treatments, that didn't work. I miscarried both times I got pregnant. Pregnancy jar sounds like a good idea to me.

[@philipbridler]

You wish you had thought to behave like a petulant child? Disgusting.

[@privateeyety5735]

Ooh damn that's spicy lol

[@Anarchristian_Beanz]

The main difference being it sounds like you actually communicated with them and told them to stop. OP just says they wished for it. If you communicate and they keep badgering, then fine, bust out the jar.

[@Tustin2121]

Joshua Pearson - You’re assuming they didn’t communicate it. I’m pretty sure by the time they bust out the jar, they’ve made their stance on the matter very known already. Hell, OP told US her situation just to head off anyone asking, and we’re not part of her family.

[@madambutterfly1997]

18 years… he strung her along for 18 years, and left her at the alter twice. And somehow you’re the villain for exposing his true colors. There’s a very very special place in Hell for everyone in this story that’s against OP.

[@JonathanJoestarJuicefest]

Private conversations are just that, PRIVATE. She's lucky that it wasn't 100% of the family to disown her.

[@doomking5174]

@@JonathanJoestarJuicefest Hell no, it was private right up and until he agreed to a huge public spectacle called a weeding, then stoof her up, effectively humiliating her. I would disavow any family member that wouldn't be willing to get the reason for the lady.

[@BurningWell]

He committed 18 years of his life to this woman, everything but a marriage. He has real problems with the idea of marriage because of past trauma. He didn't string her along, she kept trying to force him through a wedding instead of just be content with a committed and long-term relationship.

[@cynister7384]

@@BurningWell He literally said he's only with her because it's been so long, it's not like he's with her because he loves her.

[@JonathanJoestarJuicefest]

@@cynister7384 Yeah because alcohol totally doesn't make you tend to say stupid shit.

[@silverflight01]

Story 3: Imagine thinking you could just leave a child all alone in the house because you think their virtually harmless behavior would "ruin your special day"

[@Roctev]

The last story is heartbreaking for the poor girl but OP is right she isn't the kids Mom and her Dad should be letting her know that, the simple fact is he wants OP to treat Juniper like her Daughter so he can off-load her onto OP the first chance he gets so he can be child free.

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

Exactly. And the fact that Juniper started out only mumbling 'mom' ....if you have ever known a 3y.o. if mumbling isn't their norm, then they only do it when they don't want to say something...meaning she was most likely coached to say it.

[@hershy1594]

People who expect the person who got cheated on to act like parents to affair babies are the worst. You're intentionally messing with 2 innocent people, one who doesn't have a parent and the other was divorced all because of them. I know it sucks but it's the bed he made. Now he can lie in it.

[@greatpower6063]

i mean calling them affair-babies is kind of dehumanizing; we're not talking about some childlike monster from a stephen-king novel. This is literally just some kid that got hurt even worse than wife did. I mean if the mother lost her husband but the daughter no longer has a real tether to anyone. If the mother can't push past her hurt feelings from infidelity and be an adult/take care of a vulnerable kid....and from what it sounds like the kid isn't a foul-mouthed brat, then why does she visit at all? Why not just push for custody of the two boys. Dangling the carrot of affection front of a little girl who has no idea why she will not get hugs or attention is very cruel; especially if for petty reasons that have nothing to do with her.

[@GMOripscrew]

@@greatpower6063 sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder. Relatable story or something? It isn't a great situation but the woman that was cheated on is under no obligation, morally or otherwise, to raise that child.

[@Ruchunteur]

@@greatpower6063 I disagree with you on the "cruel" part. They are divorced, She have some obligation to let their child visit their dad and she have the obligation to get them back when it's her turn to get them back. She have no obligation to take someone else child that doesn't have anything to do with her. She is not living with the girl, she don't have to take her with her. The child being hurt is a regretful side effect but she can't lie to the kid and make her believe she is her mom when she isn't. Filling for full custody would only sever the bond between their child have with their father, it's just as bad if not worse than the current situation.

[@hershy1594]

@@greatpower6063 I didn't mean to use affair baby as an insult to the child, just to the father. The child 100% does not deserve any of this and I wish them the best. I just couldn't think of anything else to call the child.

[@bradyschow3564]

I definitely agree with great power here. It’s not easy to forgive, but the best thing this woman could do in this situation would be to show the child love and affection. The path to true happiness is to serve others, and she has an opportunity to forever change this little girls life for the better by forgetting herself and being the Angel this little girl so desperately needs. Bitterness and resentment could truly ruin her childhood. And the woman in the story will likely regret letting her inaction damage the child.

[@Hybrid301]

Idea: make a calendar of yourself doing sexy, gardening poses and send it to her as a peace offering. Now she doesn’t need to leave the house to ogle you.

[@GamerGrovyle]

That could most definitely be grounds for a successful Sexual offense lawsuit. If he wants to practice his Magic Mike audition while doing his yard work and she films it. She's the creep. If he sends her suggestive or straight-up sexual photos of himself without her consent then he's the creep. That's no different than guys who sends Tinder girls dick pics instead of saying "Hi"

[@danielbrant6740]

Brilliant.🤣

[@themoocow7718]

Big brain.

[@germanmemerboi3157]

Fight fire with napalm

[@slashbat2375]

Anyone else have the urge to lie when asked about kids? Like "oh, you didn't know? I do have kids! 3 miscarriages and a stillborn, would you like to see them?" Just for the sake of making people uncomfortable. It would definitely make you the asshole to some extent if you did that, but if you just want to watch the world burn I doubt you'd care

[@anndownsouth5070]

A friend of mine from school had the same type of problem after they go married. She would just go very serious and say:"Oh I'm infertile, didn't you know?" That stop people from asking. She wasn't and has 3 handsome boys.

[@jgw5491]

Good idea. Besides, how does badgering someone about their family planning status help? Do they think that the more times they ask, the more fertile the womb and the more vigorous the sperm? There are way too many idiots out there. smh

[@Wendy_O._Koopa]

Wholly shit, that's brilliant!! You could use one of those "Pro-Life Babies" they're always giving out for free (i.e. thrown at you) and put it in a jar of... lemon Jell-O? Embalming fluid is yellowish... I think? Maybe add a drop or two of Red Dye #2 to make it more orangey-brownish. Then whenever anyone brings up the topic you can whip it out and say "This is little Jimmy, he may have died in the womb, be he was *_stillborn."_* -For a bit of added theatrics, you can download crickets chirping to your MP3 player and queue it up for when that joke falls flat.-

[@greatpower6063]

Well for one, lying never gets you anywhere except caught. 2: if you lie to people who are genuinely just trying to gauge how things are going for you, then it could backfire when they realize they can't trust you. 3: people go by patterns so for them, especially if they're old-school, having kids is part of the whole "white picket fence, mom and dad are grilling in the backyard, kids playing or watching tv" model they have for marriage or dating etc. They don't really mean harm by it. Feel free to just tell them off but lying is just messed up...especially the dead kids thing. At least lie and say you have kids that are doctors without borders or something.

[@slashbat2375]

@@greatpower6063 did you read my last sentence or nah?

[@danielbrant6740]

*Ben:* I don't wanna marry Abby but I don't wanna be single either. *Abby:* Well fuck you too! I've had enough of this and I'm dumping your ass! *Ben:* This is your fault, OP! *OP:* 🙄

[@Shadowman2001]

almost the whole family to op: HoW DaRe YoU GiVe BeN wHaT hE dEsErVeS yOu BiTcH, wErE tAkInG hIs SiDe On ThIs BeCaUsE We ArE a BuNcH oF fAvOrTiSm ShOwInG cUnTs. FR ben and the family should get 5/5 butthole and cunt score, my god

[@test-kf2zv]

Last story - I think OP is giving the ex way too much credit. I totally think that he's making Juniper say "Mommy" and then filming her as she cries by the door. No, I'm actually worried for Juniper (and hope my theory is wrong, obviously).

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

Exactly and the proof is that Juniper started only MUMBLING mom....anyone who has ever known a 3y.o. if they are mumbling (and it's not their norm to mumble) then they are mumbling because they don't want to say what they are saying. Meaning she was coached

[@test-kf2zv]

@@SoManyRandomRamblings Oh, I missed that she was mumbling it! (I listen to these while doing chores, so I rarely actually read the text.) Yeah, she was coached. Ugh. :(

[@OynxWolf11]

Last Story - So, this guy cheats on OP, has a kid with that Affair, asks OP to look after that kid which she says no and then he has the balls to send her a Video of the Kid Crying and blaming it on Op? Oh hell no. If someone did that with me, I would have replied with "Do it again, and CPS will be knocking on your door. Because obviously, you are ONE sorry excuse of a Father". NTA Op, As you said, Juniper is not your kid. Which means she's NOT your responsibility. This guy sowed his seeds, now it's HIS responsibility to reap the results.

[@bobcatred]

OP who doesn’t want to be Juniper’s substitute mom: honestly I think she’s totally right here. If she can’t separate Juniper from the affair in her mind, then it’d be cruel of her to start any kind of familial relationship with her knowing she’d end up treating the girl differently than her sons due to the circumstances. It would be great if she she could separate the two in her mind and give Juniper that relationship. But people are not robots and our emotions are not always that easy. In this case, it’s better she stay polite but distant and dad needs to clearly explain to the little girl that the boys have a different mommy than she does and some child comprehendible version of where her mommy is. It will hurt, but not nearly as much as letting the child continue to have false hope.

[@shadowbear123]

That last story: I know OP says that the father is a good father, but I don't think a good father would opt to send a video of his child crying instead of COMFORTING HIS CRYING CHILD. His first thought was "this will totally show her," not "my child is in distress" Not a hallmark of a good dad, just the fact alone that he isn't discouraging her from calling OP mom is letting the issue get worse too. I feel so bad for that child.

[@BeanManolo]

Last story: OP said "I don't think my ex is making Juniper call me 'momma', I think she's just copying my son's behaviour". The way the ex acted at the end though: yeah he's TOTALLY influencing Juniper to treat OP like her mother; I feel he's doing that either to try to find a way to force OP to take care of his daughter aswell, or using her as a way to make OP feel bad just because of some power-tripping attempt to "get back" at OP for divorcing him (even though he cheated on OP, and long enough to get his mistress pregnant). Either way he deserves a 10/5 AH score; This whole situation also makes me wonder if OP's other children cut contact with OP's ex just because of the cheating and divorce, or there's something else her ex did and OP don't know that made them not want to be around him.

[@kaykay8855]

Story 2: NTA. Story 3: NTA. I don’t usually don’t throw divorce but op needs to divorce her. Stepmom doesn’t want her stepson there because he’s an introvert and he’s not her bio son? Story 4: NTA. Op’s brother led his fiancée on and left her at the altar TWICE! Final Story: NTA. Well I’m sad that Juniper doesn’t a maternal figure in her life but op has every right not to be a maternal figure to her ex’s affair child. The ex is manipulating Juniper, a child to think that op’s her mother.

[@AzrealTheDemon]

final story. doesnt matter. they already have kids together and i feel like the story is missing sone parts to it why did the two cut him off and he still has to see his kids plus juniper is a baby without a mom so she could possibly legit think ops her mom as she has nothing else to reference to. im going to give op 1.5/5 he still gets 5/5

[@kaykay8855]

@@AzrealTheDemon how is op TA in any capacity. Her ex is trying to emotionally blackmail her to raise HIS child!

[@AzrealTheDemon]

@@kaykay8855 please yore only seeing shor term those boys are her brother and they call op mom so how would she not think she her mom especially since she doesnt have a mom the boys call him dad so... 1.5/5

[@kaykay8855]

@@AzrealTheDemon I still won't call her TA because she tried to nip that bud by reminding her gently that she's not her mom and tried to get the ex to talk to her. Again, the ex is encouraging Juniper to call op mom after op reminded her that she's not.

[@AzrealTheDemon]

@@kaykay8855 you have no idea he is encouraging it. stop assuming. he still gets 5/5 and she gets 1.5/5 just from nonchalantly walking over fragile CHILD emotions. you have no idea what could be going on except whats in that post everything else is an assumtion.

[@suemccashland]

the pregnancy jar thing is legit a very clear way to reinforce boundries. if your family doesnt like a very clear boundry you set repeatedly, thats not a healthy familial relationship

[@CidVeldoril]

I legit don't get why people would ever go along with that. If someone came to me with a jar and demanded money, I'd just laugh in their face and call them insane.

[@DHTheAlaskan]

@@CidVeldoril True but it is a polite way of telling people to shut the fuck up about something you are tired of asking. If they want to ask questions they know annoy you, they might as well pay you for it.

[@jelly_4_brainz]

@@CidVeldoril I bet you'd respect a swear jar in your mom's house though, right? Its the same principle, dude, mom's tired of hearing cursing in the house, so if you curse, you pay a dollar. OP's tired of everyone asking when she's gonna have a baby, has previously made it clear that she's tired of it, and still it persists. I'd make people pay me a dollar every time they ask me the same stupid question that I've already said I don't want to be asked.

[@yarraidalg]

@@CidVeldoril but that wasn't a random someone, and they didn't come to you, you came up to them

[@TiffWaffles]

I feel terrible for OP in this story. People seem to only have value for her when it comes to her reproduction system and the baby that might or might never exist.

[@Sanodi21]

3rd story? That's the kind of dad we need to see more in stories like this. Stands up for his son and calls out family being shitty when they're shitty. I don't see the relationship lasting that much longer now that OP caught them, especially if he begins talking more with his son about this. On the other hand, I think it might be for the best for him and his son's sake. Like Rslash said, who knows what all has been happening behind closed doors?

[@jinxtheunluckypony]

Fifth story: I feel so bad for Juniper. Her father is letting her believe her mother doesn’t love her, that’s just cruel. Also makes me wonder is he’s really as good a dad as OP says. (This isn’t to say op owes the kid anything, that’s ridiculous. I just wish she had a better father.)

[@ginabell694]

That was first time u CAUGHT the step mother acting like that. Exactly and I l'd wager that some if not all of the sons anxiety and not wanting to join in on family activities is because of the step mother.

[@LittleKokeshiDoll]

Yeah, so, I used to get asked the question a lot about kids. I'm in my mid-thirties now and only recently found my forever partner. Neither of us want kids and I had my tubes tied five years ago. So our immediate families don't ask us about that anymore and even before that, my folks were actually pretty good about it, I have siblings, so it's not like grandkids aren't completely removed as a possibility for them. I have a favorite way to shut down the conversation of "When are you going to have kids?" It gives me great satisfaction to how awkward my answer makes the room because you can see on the persons face that they just realized they put their foot in their mouth big time, and you know what, if they feel embarrassed then GOOD, because someone else's life is none of their business. Also, just to put it into context, while I sport a few grey hairs, I am frequently being mistaken for someone in their early-mid 20's, so I look younger than I am which usually leads to older people treating me like I don't know what I want in my life yet. Here's how the conversation usually goes: Them: "So when are you going to have kids?" Me: "Oh, I'm not having kids" Them: "Oh, you'll change your mind someday" Me: "Actually, I had my tubes tied so no." Them: "What?" -awkwardly- "Don't you like kids?" Me: "Gawd no. I hate kids." Usually by then, the person will either awkwardly excuse themselves or if they are feeling like a nosy Karen, they might try to start an argument to which I just walk away. They act like you just kicked their puppy but the reality is that I don't have to like kids, and I don't have to want kids. Perhaps in the past, it was considered taboo to not like kids but not anymore. My life is how I choose to live it is no one else's business. Here, let me give my own score: Am I the bu**hole: 1 out of 5, because I'm okay with making people feel uncomfortable about their own stupid questions and sometimes people won't realize that these seemingly harmless questions can actually be very damaging until they are made to feel like garbage for asking. And I give those people 2 out of 5 bu**holes because while they might have not meant anything mean by it, that is a very intrusive question (and for many people) an extremely sensitive topic that they have no business asking about. I don't think it is even appropriate to worry about someone else having kids or not, like, worry if their life, health, or if their basic needs are not being met, but whether they are/can have kids or not? No way.

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

Exactly

[@ebonshade]

This country especially needs to get over the idea a woman's only value how many children she have. This whole cult of child rearing needs to stop.

[@JasperCatProductions]

It is disgusting that family keeps asking, and your mother……Op is stressed and sad about the whole baby thing last thing they need is family asking. To me baby talk, weight talk getting married talk is just rude and no one’s business but the person who is dealing with it. Let them reach out.

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

Exactly

[@marybarlow765]

The phrase "them's fightin' words" comes to mind.

[@BunnyQueen97]

“As long as you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing,” tells me she’s decided he’s actually a day laborer and she doesn’t trust “the help”.

[@rhijones382]

I honestly think a pregnancy jar should be a thing especially for couples who never want children. Also for the stepmother, if her family asked why the celebrations were cancelled she should basically tell the truth: she basically told her stepson to not attend and that he had no mother The last story: OP shouldn't be responsible for her exes love child. I understand the kid is copying her older brothers which is adorable but the ex needs to not force OP into being a mum for the girl. Also first story: OP could actually report the neighbour for filming him without consent. I loved how he handled it but he could've called the police too Sorry it wasn't in order

[@stef5853]

To the 'mother's day celebration' I don't know why it wasn't pointed out the step-mom basically said that she is not the mother of the son, which could also mean that OP doesn't have to trow a celebration for her. On the other hand her daughter should throw that party.

[@maieen2665]

*First OP:* I find the scenario hilarious. If OP's next-door Karen is going to film OP without his permission, OP might as well put on a show for Karen. 😛 OP is NTA. Sometimes you need to "stoop to someone's level" to make a point. *Second OP:* A pregnancy jar is a brilliant idea! If/when OP and her husband do have a baby, they could use the money from the pregnancy jar toward the baby's trust fund. It's a win/win situation! OP is NTA, and people _really_ need to stop asking couples when they're going to have a baby. *Third OP:* I don't have much to say. OP is NTA, and has every right to cancel his wife's surprise Mother's Day party that _OP_ planned after she and her daughter insulted _OP's_ son. I hope OP's son doesn't blame himself for OP deciding to cancel the party. *Fourth OP:* OP helped Abby cut her losses after wasting *18 years* of her life with OP's brother, but _OP_ gets punished. OP, Abby, and OP's two sisters are NTAs. Eff everyone else in OP's family, _especially_ her brother. *Fifth OP:* OP is not obligated to play Juniper's mom, and her ex is wrong for guilt-tripping OP. OP is NTA, and my heart goes out to Juniper. Like OP said, none of this is Juniper's fault. Poor kid. :/

[@tiredman99]

Honestly I think OP should put on a speedo and oil himself up while he waters his yard

[@chrisprilloisebola]

lmao "people" as if her own brother is just some random person. Delusional

[@reinventingmelissa2061]

Story 1: I'd have had his sister come out and film the old lady filming him. When she complains, say "Why should it matter if you're not doing anything wrong?"

[@fantasy2reality717]

You really shouldn't be allowed to just record someone every morning like that. Like come on woman, get a security camera or something

[@this_is_a_tiny_town]

I don't know what the law states where you live but where I live you still can't film someone's private property even with a security camera.

[@DianaWanMa]

Yeah I'm pretty sure it's illegal to do that and if she has cameras that should be pointing to her own property

[@Emeraldwitch30]

While front yards are technically public as in you dont have any expectations of privacy having someone target you and harass you by filming might actually fall under many states stalking laws. If she videoed the whole neighborhood off and on, that's different but targeting one person out of everyone thats stalking and harassment. My son gets harassed at his work occasionally and his boss put a stop to it. Hes 31 now but still occasionally has creepy old cougars try to grope him while he's working.

[@An0nymous_L0gic]

If she is on her property or public property, she can record whatever she can see. A house's surrounding area such as the yard, called the curtilage, is not public but also has no expectation of privacy. In short, the lady is a creep but everything she did was 100% legal.

[@DianaWanMa]

@@An0nymous_L0gic not sure if there's something specific about recording someone without consentment, but if OP said that he was recorded everytime he went out then that crosses the line to harrasment.

[@soulgazer11]

I'd give the family in the 2nd story 1.5 because *they've been told already* not to ask and they keep asking. They're being so insensitive and disrespectful. For this to still keep going after months, I'm curious how much OP got in their jar.

[@thejesster7046]

Seriously thank you. I'm struggling myself, and those kinds of questions from family thats supposed to be safe would mess with me so bad. Its not well meaning to continuously remind someone of what they want but do not yet have.

[@chrisprilloisebola]

@@thejesster7046 thats your fault for not telling your family then.

[@thejesster7046]

@@chrisprilloisebola I did...my family is respectful, and doesn't ask those questions. The OP also told her family, qnd they have not been respectful, and continue asking.

[@kaykoi9121]

1. Op Should have reported her for violatig his privacy and recording him without permission 2. i always hate when ppl are pressured into having kids, especaly when they have problems having them. if the kid is wanted or not does not matter 3. I hate how step mom tries to force him doing activities and then excludes him from family, like he isnt family. 4. It is sad for the girl, but she isnt ops responsebility. he tries to make her feel guilty by sending this video. it is also very cruel to let the little girl cry and record it.

[@Avrysatos]

the last story.. she says he's a good father, but he clearly ISN'T. I don't get where she'd think that.

[@Vincent_Beers]

Exists in the sons life and provides support. That's above average these days regardless of what else is wrong with him.

[@Avrysatos]

@@Vincent_Beers that isn’t enough to be good for a mother though.

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

Agreed.

[@twistysunshine]

@@Avrysatos both of you guys are totally right

[@CidVeldoril]

@@Avrysatos We don't know what else OP's ex does with the kids. Could be he's working his arse off for them, started college funds, takes them on fun trips and / or is all around a good guy as a dad. I have seen it before that guys are great as dads and extremely shitty as husbands. Also seen that with mothers who were great as moms but sucked as wives.

[@auberginebear]

Story 3: NTA; like rSlash said, this likely isn't the first time the wife & stepdaughter have done this kind of thing, which is likely part of why the son wants his own space. This is also a huge red flag.

[@Nekulturny]

2nd story, NTA... stop asking married people when they're having kids, maybe they're not... Its none of your business. Its rude.

[@myopinion69420]

also, stop asking couples when they are getting married, after 12 years, 2 kids and millions of times telling them 'never' you would think they would get the point.

[@melodyharpole8272]

On the other hand they're in their mid-30s. OP either needs to start trying for a baby now, or admits she wants to be child free. This constantly pushing it off and refusing to answer the question to her family is absolutely stupid and incredibly childish. . Ignoring biology does not work!

[@DarcOne13]

@@melodyharpole8272 They DID try. She said that early in the story that it's not a personal choice, it's just not possible.

[@myopinion69420]

@@melodyharpole8272 I won't disagree with you about having to decide, but ultimately its nobody's busyness but theirs. we waited until our late 20's as we had goals we wanted to meet before bringing kids into the world, but the CONSTANT questions about marriage/kids gets real tiring real quick, even when you sit people down and explain your plans, they still KEEP ASKING

[@lokilaufeyson7035]

@@melodyharpole8272 harasing people is 🤡ish, so keep your 'concerns' to yourself

[@DracolegacyOfficial]

"you can't just shove off a child onto a parent who doesn't want them and expect it to turn into a loving relationship" remember this quote next time you want to go on a tirade about a parent who doesn't want their kid.

[@merlinathrawes746]

Left at the altar story: OH HELL NO, NTA!!! Abby has the patience of a saint, but even saints have limits and Ben finally found Abby's! He doesn't want to be alone but refuses to commit and strings her along for YEARS playing stupid games. The ONLY one at fault here is Ben. Anyone, including your mother, giving you grief are the buttholes.

[@maddiekoester7785]

Thank you for covering the third story!! I saw it in a news article, and my first thought was: I wonder if rSlash will cover this anytime soon.

[@pokemonslayer3345]

Second Story: Yeah, i'd probably get annoyed too if my family and friends asked non stop when i'm going to have a kid, but I kind of understand where they're coming from. OP said she's in her mid 30's and from what I've heard, if you try to have children after 35 it could lead to increased health risks for the baby or something like that.

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

So? So what if they want to wait....maybe they don't see having a special needs child as that terrible.

[@pokemonslayer3345]

@@SoManyRandomRamblings Why are you automatically assuming I don't like people with special needs? I never said that. I'm talking about other things that could happen like miscarriage or stillbirth. Did you seriously think special needs was the only thing that could happen when older women get pregnant?

[@chrisprilloisebola]

@@SoManyRandomRamblings but they dont want to wait. One or both have some fertility issue. Its their fault for not telling their close family

[@crypticcryptid4702]

Do the health risks matter when they said they're not having a baby?

[@auberginebear]

Story 5: NTA; why hasn't the father taught Juniper that his ex wife is Auntie or something? I mean, that would definitely help the child.

[@gdouble382]

What's that? my young child is crying because the woman she considers a mother left? What's that? The woman who has no obligation to emotionally adopt my young child doesn't want to do so? BETTER GET THE CAMERA! THIS IS GUILT TRIPPIN' GOLD!

[@havokan45]

The guy in the last story just wants a free babysitter why else would he want his daughter to go with his EX .

[@JadeyCatgirl99]

With 1st story I would have just asked someone to record her right back, but this guy has much better ideas.

[@namjoonsoldmyjamsfor3dolla404]

As someone who lost their mom just a few days ago the story about the stepmom made me so mad. Not being able to celebrate your mom anymore must hurt so much and not being invited even more

[@semperferusartist]

I really feel for Juniper in that last story. I have a nephew with parents who aren't together, and has a half brother and obviously when my brother takes his son I've wondered how confusing it probably has been for the younger one. But at the same time, given she's 3 now, hopefully over the next couple of years she will be able to develop an understanding of the situation. It's not going to be easy, especially with her father wanting to make things more complicated for her... But if he would just keep explaining things consistently and not try to make drama with his ex over it she would probably stop having tantrums. Or maybe he should be making his own plans with his daughter to do something fun when her brothers leave. But OP is definitely not the AH here for setting clear boundaries. Maybe OP would be more willing to include her in future activities once she's older and understands how she isn't her mother, but if not that's not their fault either. In the meantime it makes things really awkward and no blame there.

[@mischarowe]

The father should be making more of an effort to reduce Juniper's hurt and confusion.

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

Exactly. And you can tell who doesn't have kids, or if they do, doesn't deal with divorced families, when they are encouraging lying to Juniper and forcing OP and her together. Why are they not considering Juniper's well being past the time it takes to console a child? I am glad there are some people in these comments who have experience in similar situations and can shed some light on how these things affect the kids, not just the parents....and long term, not just till the kid quits crying.

[@aetheralmeowstic2392]

The radio hosts of B97 (97.1 FM in my area) were told it was impossible to make instructions for plunging the toilet sound sexy. Well, they proved that listener wrong and _managed to make it sound sexy! It was hilarious!_

[@truelynathania3312]

With the 3rd story op, according to the wife's logic, doesn't have to celebrate mother's day with her since according to her she isn't the mother to his child!!! 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@JuniperDenn]

As someone who has been the kid that was not picked over the step mum and step daughter, you freaking GO, OP. Thank you for standing up to your son, not doing that would irrevocably break your relationship with him. Now he knows you have his back no matter WHAT.

[@tinyexpectiduck718]

that 1st story, i only kept hearing ''Submissive and breedable'' Also yeah, i have to agree, The karen seems more perverted then the OP

[@alexanderbest8351]

I just realized it! For a long time now I've been sitting with my wife watching these rslash videos and I think my relationship is super strong because of it. Hearing about so many awful people out there I'm convinced she's terrified to even think about going out into the dating world ever again. THANK YOU RSLASH!!!

[@SteviiLove]

The pregnancy jar family is not well intentioned. If they were, they'd STFU a long time ago about this. All they're doing is making it harder on the two they're "concerned" with. They get 4 out of 5 because instead of helping in ANY capacity, they were harassing them so badly a pregnancy potty mouth jar was necessary. That's pretty effing bad actually.

[@bethanybelyeu6012]

call it the IVF jar. all proceeds go to fertility treatments. that way you are making them shut up and help.

[@crypticcryptid4702]

@Kush Hazard This is one of the most idiotic comments in this section. It's so sexist and presumptuous. We are capable of saying things directly, such as how you're a moron for making this comment. And this also ignores the fact that the husband was also in on the jar. Do you think he was just quiet about it too? Use your brain dude.

[@niclaswyatt866]

IDK how things are in the states, but here in Germany you even are allowed to walk around naked in your garden as long as theres a fence or something. If someone then decides to have glimpse, no matter if you're with our without clothing, you can even sue them for something similar to trespassing from what I know. And the part with taking video without your permission is also illegal here. So much in fact that you must have signs around your house if you have CCTV installed on the outside, no matter if it's a private or a business building. Shops even have to hang signs by their entrances if they have CCTV.

[@topasu9454]

imagine your reaction to seeing your toddler crying being grabbing your phone to record it and guilt-trip someone

[@ulisesurquia3197]

I deal with the same bs. People can't seem to grasp it is none of their business if me and the wife don't have kids. As a matter of fact, we do not want kids at all so it is extra annoying seeing how they think they will somehow get us to change our minds.

[@eberdamilcar2130]

Op in the marriage story probably will never have a relationship with the people that cut her off ever again, and that is a very hood thing for op

[@eileenheath1968]

@12:00 I am SO there for Abby leaving Ben at the altar. He only got a taste of the medicine because it's not like he was in front of a ton of people like she was. the fact OP's family turned on HIM and not BEN gave me serious whiplash.

[@joshuaortega1852]

I'm not convince the ex in the last story isn't telling his daughter that OP's her mom. Sound like the kind of stupidity someone like that would pull.

[@teerex5626]

For the third story: I’ve heard sooooo many stories of Moms/Dads practically siding with their new family despite cold hard evidence of abuse/bullying (from the Step-Mom/Dad/Brother/Sister to the blood Son/Daughter). OP was definitely correct and I agree with rSlash- I bet it’s the first time OP caught them in the act but not the first time they’ve done this

[@JimLambier]

I applaud the sister in the runaway groom story. I had been dating my now wife for about three years when my older sister called me. Basically, she warned me that I better be serious about my girlfriend and not be stringing her along. If I had tried what this guy did, I would have been disowned.

[@lukewilliams6083]

Obvious difference in circumstances.

[@Swnsasy]

The prego jar is freaking GENIOUS!!! Man I wish I would have thought of that! Why are all the cool stuff coming AFTER my 3 kids are grown.. Grrrrrr Oh, I'm ANGRY!! The dad is AWESOME for standing up for his son! My son grew up the same way and he's still kinda like that at 27.. He is a bit awkward around strangers, always has been and I've never heard ANYONE say it was a problem.. My son has friends but it's a small group. He is quiet around strangers and I wouldn't put him in that position unless he said it was ok... Good on DAD!!

[@carsonvaughan3713]

For the last story, there's something I want to try and explain- or at least, explain the way I personally see it. I'm not saying I condone anything, and I agree with a lot of what other comments say about coming up with another situation to fix things, and yes, the mother shouldn't need to be a step in mom for Juniper, but I do understand WHY she's acting like she is, and I'm surprised rSlash missed it. The mother coming to pick up her two kids isn't just like some neighbor coming across the street to pick up her kids from a playdate because those kids that are getting picked up are Juniper's siblings. She knows and recognizes those are her brothers, and so if they're her brothers, and dad is their dad, then in her eyes, that must be mom- and until she's old enough to understand that no, she is not in fact her mother, that correlation is probably going to stay.

[@_letstartariot]

I knew I’d get triggered when you mentioned the Mother’s Day cancellation intro. I had a Disney stepmother too. You’re right, she’s for sure covertly being a monster behind her husbands back. And then probably gaslighting the poor boy into thinking she’s actually good to him. Disney stepmothers have multiple faces. Only the scapegoat child usually gets to see all of them.

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

Last story: if you encourage lying to Juniper, first read the comments form kids who grew up in households with kids from more than 1 father. If you haven't then you don't get a say. Because lying to Juniper although it will make the parent's life easier, not having to deal with the kid crying for a bit each time, will cause way more harm to Juniper psychologically in the long run... so yes, if you think putting a band-aid over internal bleeding is a good idea, go ahead and lie to the kid....but that does way more harm than good.

[@RealCoolstriker64]

If someone starts recording you for seemingly no reason, start recording them back. Because if they feel the need to record, that’s probably because they know something you don’t. … or they’re just being nosey. Either way, record them back and when they ask why simply say: “You felt the need to start recording first, so you tell me.”

[@danielbrant6740]

*OP's Brother:* So when you gonna have kids, OP? *OP:* Tip, please! *OP's Mom:* Why did you embarrass your brother like that? *OP:* Why do you repeatedly keep asking about kids when you know it annoys us to no end? You plan on stopping anytime soon? You'd think you'd get the memo by now! *OP's Mom:* _[Awkward silence]_

[@jplayzow]

The whole point of the jar is to make it easier to quit asking than keep going. You're supposed to feel stupid when asking stupid questions

[@jimmyrittmann8208]

Regarding 5th story- My grandfather was may things- veteran, church man, philanderer, abuser- complicated guy. Anyways, created on my grandmother, and divorced her after side chick got preggers- leaving my grandmother and his 2 kids to make sure the baby grew up with a father. As the child grew up, in her preteen years, my grandfather and his new wife both died. My parents and up bringing the girl into their home, I was born a year later. Long story short, my aunt ended up having a great relationship with my grandmother, even staying with her while in college since it was less commute. When people asked my grandmother how she could act like that, she would simply look confused and tell people "that little child didn't do anything wrong." I know it probably wasn't easy, but it's one of many reasons my grandmother was a Saint.

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

But your grandmother didn't lie to the kid and claim else to be their mom. That is what is wrong in this situation....if things were done correctly then Juniper could spend some time with her half-brothers on occasion out places with OP...just the same way kids bring friends along on trips.....but lying to a kid and making them think someone is their parent when they aren't (especially in a situation where OP will likely no longer see Juniper once her kids can drive themselves to dad's) I am glad your family stepped up. But this situation is different because Juniper still has her dad, and her dad could remarry. Plus the psychological pain if Juniper is too young at this point and forgets her mom, what happens when the truth comes out later.

[@jimmyrittmann8208]

@@SoManyRandomRamblings oh, I fully agree, and to be fair, my grandmother didn't raise my aunt (who again was a preteen, so much more aware of what was going on), but my parents. But her ability to look past it was something I respected about her. I don't think I'd be able to do it.

[@BunnyQueen97]

Abby’s a human being, she deserved to be defended!!! If I’d been OP though, I would have said, “I’m going to do something for you right now that I may regret, but it’s the right thing. DON’T tell anyone I’m the one who did this,” and then I’d have put the phone on mute. I’m there to give her information, not be her vessel for revenge.

[@m.j.2578]

For the garden hose story, can anyone teach OP to bend and snap? :P

[@kibaliziosa483]

I literally have a jar too. I'm always cold so I usually am more dressed than anyone else, no matter the situation. After years of "aren't you hot" and "how are you wearing a jacket?" I implemented the jar. For now there's nothing inside but now that spring started I just know the comments are going to rain in. So yeah, all of this to say: my therapist said that it was a good idea because I'm terrible at boundaries and the jar would show that I won't budge. If it works in my situation I don't get why it wouldn't work in op's situation too

[@DvanderPluijm]

Isn't recording someone without their explicit consent against the law? I think OP in the first story could actually get the police involved on charges of harassment and have them make the neighbour delete that footage. Gross, euw.

[@tiredman99]

Not if you're in a public place and you let them know you're recording. Also laws are different from state to state if this is in the states

[@nicholasfarrell5981]

@@tiredman99 it's still harassment though, OP absolutely should call the cops on her.

[@apurva616]

@@tiredman99 well OP is on his own property so I don’t think that’s legal (unless he lives in a one party consent state I think)

[@morningstar7858]

The pregnancy jar story tho 🙌😂 I need to do that at family gathering s because everyone there is getting on my nerves about starting a family. I'm nowhere near ready to start a family of my own yet, my parents are okay with that and they support me with my choices 😊

[@deannaabeyta1855]

I can faintly hear the spy from tf2 screaming “seduce me”

[@LunaCecropia]

same

[@smallishwhale5377]

Same

[@Josh_the_jester]

Story 1: I'm imagining OP going full Mucle man while watering his lawn "enjoy the show, ladies"

[@timehunter9467]

The gardening one was hilarious, that would be like being naked in your garden and the neighbours complain for exposing yourself! It’s private property, get lost 🤣

[@readjordan2257]

16:07 1. Its a good time to begin teaching your daughter about boundaries, and respecting what people would like to be called, and that she cant assign roles to play for others in her life...while at the same time validating that these feelings and needs are absolutely right. For someone so young, thats quite a task as a father to do. 2. Everything about this situation is really up to you as the dad to alleviate or resolve. Its maybe close to impossible, i wouldnt know that part of it...but yeah its something only you can do. All aspects of whats going on here is you OP's ex husband

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

Exactly.

[@uzumakirakku]

18 year relationship story - so OP's dad walked out, but OP's mum is somehow fine with her son doing almost the same thing? Wack.

[@BurningWell]

There'd be no issue if he wasn't being forced into a wedding he clearly didn't want. They were in a committed relationship for 18 years without a wedding, that's longer than most marriages last these days. No wedding, no problem.

[@Diviance]

@@BurningWell There would be no issues if Ben got treatment for his trauma and stopped expecting Abby to be something she didn't want to be... an emotional support doll. He didn't care about her, he said so himself. That wasn't a committed relationship. He was using her. Ben is the asshole.

[@BurningWell]

@@Diviance He was in a relationship he was satisfied with. She demanded more. She's was using him because she wanted to be a princess.

[@Diviance]

@@BurningWell It is her right to ask for more. He was using her. She was not using him, she wanted to BE WITH HIM. He didn't want to be with her... but he stayed because he wanted to use her to assuage his own fears.

[@uzumakirakku]

@@BurningWell Hi Ben

[@Jess3674]

1st story: Install a pole in the yard and give her a show. Invite your friends and let them give her a show, too.

[@char-leewiebe7199]

IF THEY ARE SOOOOOO WOORIED ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE'S FERTILITY THEN THEY NEED TO PAY FOR TREATMENTS AND EVERYTHING SO THE COUPLE CAN HAVE THE FUCKING CHILD!!! SPEAKING AS SOMEONE WHO HAS FERTILITY ISSUES AND THINKS IF YOU'RE NOT HELPING THEN DONT ASK

[@mothman5883]

4th story: OP didn't ruin their relationship, Ben did. He is a cruel, terrible person. Not just "toxic" no, a terrible mean mean human being who DESERVES to be alone. "I didn't want to be alone" that is sad, I could not imagine myself stringing another HUMAN BEING, an alive organism with thoughts and feelings, all because I didn't wanna feel too lonely.

[@Juicycroissanwich]

“You can’t just shove off a child to a parent who doesn’t want them and expect that to turn into a loving relationship” Exactly why abortion is a human right

[@Starfloofle]

Agreed. **Agreed.** Forcing someone to be a parent isn't going to make them a good one. "consequences for your actions" be damned, we're talking about the cascading ripple effect of an entire person's *lifespan* here. A kid with bad parents can turn into an actual world evil (see: Hitler & his trash heap of a dad) and there's 80+ years of possibility introduced by creating a new life. It blows my mind how unbelievably short-sighted people can be.

[@DarcOne13]

Apparently not...

[@dorathehomebody886]

fr

[@Threadnaught]

@@Starfloofle Hitler was a subpar artist who wanted to be an artist. His dad wanted him to get into a career he'd be good at and thrive in. The only good art Hitler ever made was on the 30th of April 1945. Which was the polar opposite of him thriving, at least he took a swing at making something beautiful. And then swing the other way, and then back again until his body lost all momentum.

[@ThisIsMego]

Jar story: Getting constantly asked about when you're getting kids when you want them but it's not working will cause undue stress and make it potentially even harder to conceive. So OP found a great way to stop people from asking, when telling them to stop presumably got ignored. Step mom story: First she wants the introverted step son to make an effort to be more outgoing and then she's rebuffing him when he actually does? What kind of an asshole does that? Especially for introverts these kinds of situations can be SUPER stressful yet he's making the effort. OP was ABSOLUTELY justified in siding with his son here