it's time to LET GO of these type of "FRIENDS"

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Ruri Ohama

Ruri Ohama

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 1 500
@ruriohama
@ruriohama Жыл бұрын
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@SinSationNation
@SinSationNation Жыл бұрын
I already did. It’s a done deal 👍🏻
@ehteshamali2893
@ehteshamali2893 Жыл бұрын
Ruri you should make a video on Flow - On how to get productive with your day. I think that will benefit us all.
@ruriohama
@ruriohama Жыл бұрын
@@ehteshamali2893 that's a very good idea. Let me write it down✍Thank you!
@zoltanfabiansk5795
@zoltanfabiansk5795 Жыл бұрын
Maybe you could make a video about your foreign trips... how to improve our speech... fitness mistakes and recomms... dating advices from a beautiful woman (how to approach and get such a beautiful woman like you)... 🌹
@MaryLovesJesus
@MaryLovesJesus Жыл бұрын
Sin shortens life, because of our sins we are separated from God.There is nothing in this world worth going to hellfire for. Repent of your sins and be born again, Jesus Christ is coming back everyone
@funnytv-1631
@funnytv-1631 Жыл бұрын
Bad friends often ruin your trust by sharing your personal information without your consent leading to strained relationships
@neqproa
@neqproa Жыл бұрын
THIS!!!!!
@khalilahd.
@khalilahd. Жыл бұрын
Couldn’t agree more 😕
@MatematicasconDani
@MatematicasconDani Жыл бұрын
That is exactly what passed me. Now, I distanced myself from them.
@doggy00d
@doggy00d Жыл бұрын
Yes, gossipers are toxic!
@Dana_chay
@Dana_chay Жыл бұрын
OMG i had this friend who would share her boyfriend’s fetishes and sexual habits without his consent and that was a MAJOR red flag to me
@alexhutton4848
@alexhutton4848 Жыл бұрын
We should never expect "perfect" friendships . Some of the best people struggle with friendship .
@Howardtheone
@Howardtheone Жыл бұрын
Struggle and growth are truly what makes up perfect relationships between people. This concept of "perfect" stuff lacking conflict is simply false, nothing is learned from such experience.
@divyanshsingh1078
@divyanshsingh1078 Жыл бұрын
just like world's most handsome man was ultimately cheated on
@dagazrune6453
@dagazrune6453 Жыл бұрын
Struggle is fine, but real friends will not discourage you from succeeding just like a real friend will not just let you make mistakes.
@Swanepooly
@Swanepooly Жыл бұрын
It's truly hard to Identify what a "Real friend" is.. there's so many criteria that contradict each other. I really don't know what the bottom line is when you're looking for a Friend that's supposed to be "True"
@dagazrune6453
@dagazrune6453 Жыл бұрын
@Arifumii, it's not really that hard. Real friends have your back. They aren't just yes men. Real friends can disagree but still be friends. Real friends bring out the best in you.
@kaigorodaki
@kaigorodaki Жыл бұрын
"Be the friend you wish to have" 💯
@prawiraagung4011
@prawiraagung4011 Жыл бұрын
"friend urself bcs no one will be a perfect friend!"
@tayluvofficial
@tayluvofficial Жыл бұрын
I did and I got ruined The other person used me and threw me at the end.
@FringeWizard2
@FringeWizard2 Жыл бұрын
Great and all but I'm surrounded by methheads, mentally ll, criminals.
@Blessedbylord
@Blessedbylord 11 ай бұрын
@@tayluvofficialI know that that’s why I prefer not to exert any effort with anyone and to be alone is the best choice .
@devilsoffspring5519
@devilsoffspring5519 9 ай бұрын
Wrong, people will just take advantage of you and screw you over. You have to find someone else that's the friend you wish to have :)
@Chan-cm9do
@Chan-cm9do Жыл бұрын
In this age, you are really lucky if you can find even one friend that you can fully trust for the rest of your life. Time is so strange that you cannot trust anyone, this is not only for friends, but also for your siblings.
@ikawba00
@ikawba00 Жыл бұрын
Time never allows for stagnancy. Change must occur. Because of that, friendships can change and based on how you and your friend take on each other, the relationship could be severed or kept.
@tifamai
@tifamai Жыл бұрын
So true! As people change, grow, and have their own relationships/family... trust/priorities change.
@nivi1109
@nivi1109 Жыл бұрын
True words 🙌🏼
@rastamuff1
@rastamuff1 Жыл бұрын
So true- 3 bitch made dusty half brothers. Glad I made it out
@BananaR777
@BananaR777 Жыл бұрын
It's easier if you have a foundation, guidelines and a moral compass. Mine is Jesus Christ, the Words He layed downed in Love, defines the right & wrong. A lot people decline Him out of offense, doubt, dislike, or something but I reccomend giving His Word a read. A great teacher for It would be Pasture Robert Breaker.
@roachbusters
@roachbusters Жыл бұрын
Almost all friendships I've had have been toxic. Real friends are an extreme rarity.
@kobinsadvance
@kobinsadvance Жыл бұрын
It' not rare only, it actually doesn't exist.
@ikawba00
@ikawba00 Жыл бұрын
Some friends are legit, they'll grow with you and stay with you, even when a fight happens or a celebration occurs. Just take acquaintances or friendships as you go along. Keep those who cherish you as much as you cherish yourself.
@locox89
@locox89 Жыл бұрын
Welcome to "Murica"
@Huetete
@Huetete Жыл бұрын
​@@kobinsadvance You're implying that you aren't a good friend either.
@kobinsadvance
@kobinsadvance Жыл бұрын
@@Huetete Yes, you are correct. I ain't a good friend because I know true friendship doesn't exist just as true love doesn't exist. One day you will realize this too and it will be too late.
@PerfectSense77
@PerfectSense77 Жыл бұрын
I have to disagree about the part about seeking friends who will make a point of criticizing you if you aren't "growing" enough to their standards. It's good to have friends who will tell you the truth if you ask. But I'm already fully aware of my own progress, I don't need someone needling me and giving unsolicited advice about how far along I'm on something according to how they perceive it.
@eliltaliya
@eliltaliya Жыл бұрын
on the other hand, we overestimate our own progress, so friends who can clearly see where we are can tell us, and we should be grateful (unless they’re being rude about it or it’s obvious they’re lying)
@serbrawl7981
@serbrawl7981 Жыл бұрын
Your comment translates to english as pride and ego
@Phriffo
@Phriffo Жыл бұрын
You literally misunderstood her point.
@mrgreen3195
@mrgreen3195 Жыл бұрын
I get what you're saying brother but she doesn't mean it in criticising way because criticism does more harm than good. She's talking about encouraging or making you understand in a way that will help you or give the push you need to get out of that shell you are or may not be aware of. I helped my friend grow by mixing criticism,jokes,facts, neutrality and encouragement i.e also called as constructive criticism.
@kora4185
@kora4185 Жыл бұрын
Some standards are universal. Sometimes when we aren’t well we start to excuse our bad habits pretending this is just what we want, because is easier and you just lack motivation to keep growing (precisely cus of your bad habits) and it’s important for friends to give you a reality shock, and not sugarcoat it, in order for you to not stagnate in a objectively bad stage.. besides real friends tend to realize when you’re sabotaging yourself and when you’re actually genuinely content in your comfort zone. If they’re too obsessive and can’t never chill, they’re not in a good mindset either, then it’s time for you to snap them out of it too.
@ayeryhoy...
@ayeryhoy... Жыл бұрын
It was hard to say goodbye to a friendship of over 20 years. I constantly wondered what I had done wrong. However, in the end, I realized that person wasn't truly my friend but someone who was causing me trouble. It's strange to know that an enemy is never the one who betrays you, but actually someone you considered a brother was the real enemy
@kobinsadvance
@kobinsadvance Жыл бұрын
Read 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene.
@ib507zh
@ib507zh Жыл бұрын
​@@kobinsadvance i read the book i stopped in the middle because i can't handle the pressure i feel like he tell me or explain to me evry wrong or mistake i done . but i am motivated to read it once more
@kobinsadvance
@kobinsadvance Жыл бұрын
@@ib507zh Oh hoo
@thesamuelnam
@thesamuelnam Жыл бұрын
Ah. Hits the heart. Difficult because of the 20 years of friendship.
@santiagomolina563
@santiagomolina563 Жыл бұрын
I decided to terminate a 13 years friendship, and now Im relieved.
@Amantducafe
@Amantducafe Жыл бұрын
Careful because you can end up surrounded by perfectionist friends that will belittle you or use you as a measuring stick to feel better about themselves.
@HL390
@HL390 4 ай бұрын
So true, being too good of a friend can be very bad for your health.
@NormalHuman-fv5fy
@NormalHuman-fv5fy 3 ай бұрын
​@@HL390indeed I had to learn that the hard way sadly
@asdax8311
@asdax8311 Жыл бұрын
Having too many friends is overatted. They don't develop social skills as highly as you think. Just making acquaintances is more than enough to get through life.
@hopree2839
@hopree2839 Жыл бұрын
This
@hnnhml
@hnnhml Жыл бұрын
Quality over quantity, always 🙌🏻
@ceruhermandez9651
@ceruhermandez9651 Жыл бұрын
You are contradicting yourself (?)
@CultOfSol777
@CultOfSol777 Жыл бұрын
Amongst Indo-European steppe culture it was foolish to have "Many" friends, as it was a feminine/female trait. They had only a few people, for example 3-4 very good friends they could trust. Having many friends is exhausting. Also you cannot call someone a friend if you can´t trust him fully. I don´t even know why people want that. They simply feel lonely and need contacts everywhere. Anyway, I live after this tradition, because it´s the truth.
@stripedpolkadots8692
@stripedpolkadots8692 Жыл бұрын
@@CultOfSol777 friendless misogynist
@UsurpersAndAssassins
@UsurpersAndAssassins Жыл бұрын
I'm glad you are realizing this much younger than I did. "Friends" are often just losers trying to keep you down to make themselves feel better about their lack of effort in life. Find better people. You can have fun with anyone, so it's better to do it with people who encourage you.
@honeygirl1926
@honeygirl1926 Жыл бұрын
You are right... But I can't find quality friends... İn my class all of them are silly and doing so much absurd things... Where will I find better people?😟
@oichikaichikoo5490
@oichikaichikoo5490 Жыл бұрын
@@honeygirl1926 It's all about time, at the current moment you might not find them and that's alright. It naturally happens, just like suddenly stumbling upon a diamond mine. So don't be disheartened, you'll eventually find them. ٩( ᐛ )و
@honeygirl1926
@honeygirl1926 Жыл бұрын
@@oichikaichikoo5490 I hope I can find but i have no so much hope..beacuse in my country, people are suitable for those attitudes really...
@oichikaichikoo5490
@oichikaichikoo5490 Жыл бұрын
@@honeygirl1926 That's an assumption, usually the most common reason for being disheartened is our own assumptions. When we assume something, later on it converts into a belief. You might feel like your country doesn't have majority of people like that, but look at yourself you're a kind of person who would support your friend, so your existence is an evidence that there are chances of people that you desire to be friends with exist in an area near you. Let's keep a positive attitude, keeping a negative one will result in you just being hopeless and depressed. Keeping a positive one, will at least make you more happier. Best of wishes for finding a great friend. · · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
@honeygirl1926
@honeygirl1926 Жыл бұрын
@@oichikaichikoo5490 you talked so well ☺️☺️ Thank you for motivating me❤️
@asmrhistory7921
@asmrhistory7921 Жыл бұрын
I recently just distanced myself from a person I considered my friend for 24 years. I can not be with someone who constantly makes excuses for his degenerate behaviour. People need to realize that sometimes its better to be alone then to have so called "Friends".
@OneCSeven
@OneCSeven Жыл бұрын
your friend is much better off. follow your leader :)
@Nuclear_Man_D
@Nuclear_Man_D Жыл бұрын
I learned a similar lesson the hard way. Loneliness is certainly better than sticking around with the wrong people.
@creativeeditor6909
@creativeeditor6909 Жыл бұрын
i thought that being alone was for the better, then sooner realized that being alone is worse
@radosvukoicic6794
@radosvukoicic6794 9 ай бұрын
​​@@creativeeditor6909 its not about being alone, when someone is bad for your mental health and is not your support you have no growth and no benefit or true friendship in that relationship. You shouldn't isolate from everyone but you should stop being around toxic people who do not care about you. Why would you even give people like that your time?! So being alone is better than to be around bad company
@anushka_36653
@anushka_36653 8 ай бұрын
or you could try making better friends but it is really your own choice
@FrFlamee
@FrFlamee 8 ай бұрын
"Be the friend you wish to have" truely the best thing ive ever been told.
@DarknessIsThePath
@DarknessIsThePath 8 ай бұрын
Except that is a perfect recipe for even worse misery, sociopaths hunt down people like that because they are also the most guilible and naive due to their optimistic nature. I used to be like that, people only take advantage of your kindness and when you start to defend yourself, they manipulate everyone else around the both of you and turn everyone against you so no thank you.
@germanpatis9136
@germanpatis9136 8 ай бұрын
this seems like a good advice but it might not be.it all.depends who younhang out with you can give your heart and still fall short
@BarbaraM-lv7pe
@BarbaraM-lv7pe 8 ай бұрын
Darkness, set boundaries so they don’t mistake “your kindness for weakness”. Don’t be so available don’t be so helpful
@S.G.W.Verbeek
@S.G.W.Verbeek 8 ай бұрын
​@@BarbaraM-lv7pe I hate setting boundaries. Did Jesus set boundaries, or was he just himself?
@FrFlamee
@FrFlamee 7 ай бұрын
@@DarknessIsThePath yea someone did that exactly same thing to me and it sucked
@Vikoboi
@Vikoboi Жыл бұрын
Toxic friends will ruin your life and good friends will help you stay sane in your vulnerable times, above all the most important thing for me is to be your own best friend because no matter how good friends you might have there will be times when they don't have time for you and prioritize other things. Love and protect yourself before committing to others. Don't let other people be the only source to your happiness, being able to be emotionally independent is good! And do you best to have people that love and accept you for who you are! Have a good day everyone! Much love to you all!
@teastrainer3604
@teastrainer3604 Жыл бұрын
You can count your real friends on one hand.
@chaosfr3959
@chaosfr3959 4 ай бұрын
The thing is I lost all hopes in humanity, and I need atleast some friends, or anything socially. I have autism, and I love doing nothing by myself, literally nothing is fun if I can't share with others, I just hate doing things alone, just by myself. It's been like that since long, but losing hope in humanity is just the result of me seeing how trash people are. I am lonely, isolated, I just crave connections but I am so scared of social connections either, because it has never been good for me. Nothing is good for me I guess
@agnjunio
@agnjunio Жыл бұрын
While I do agree that toxic friendships can ruin your life, I think we should not be so eager do disqualify someone based on some "red flags". Remember, everyone is struggling as you do, and sometimes a good friend is just going trough a lot. This tends to happen more frequently in underdeveloped countries where everyone's life is difficult, so if you live in such environments, you defenitely should consider lowering the bar a little. Life is not a competition and helping others is a sign that you are doing well to the point you can afford to.
@psyche1988
@psyche1988 Жыл бұрын
Yeah yeah, fuck that, it only works on people who want to better their lives and not finding yourseld repeating the same adviced that go unheard or putting up qith their antisocial personality and leaving each enxounter wanting to.die...consiatency is key, of they repeat the same bad behaviour a couple of times you can be sure it will happen again.
@Swanepooly
@Swanepooly Жыл бұрын
This is so real though.
@ioritenshi
@ioritenshi Жыл бұрын
I live in a third world country and everything you said is just false. Being fucked doesn't excuse you for being an asshole. It also doesn't have anything to do with values such as honor, honesty, empathy, etc People in poor countries are usually always seeking to take advantage of one another every way they can. But it doesn't matter where you're from, being an asshole is always a choice so, yeah, I'm not lowering my bar specially since I already met wonderful people to call friends and an angel to call my wife.
@supersarah5673
@supersarah5673 10 ай бұрын
Integrity can be found in the poorest corners of the planet. If you sense someone’s mindset is hold themselves back, listening to their ideas will only hold you back too
@Katniss0000
@Katniss0000 9 ай бұрын
the only toxic friendship is if they are manipulating and guilt tripping you in doing something you can't do. No is no. Like forcing them to hangout. Leave this Insecure people who can't be happy by themselves. You are only a good friend to them if you satisfy their needs. They don't care about your needs. (Ex. Being busy with school, just want rest for day, etc.)
@lagomholly
@lagomholly Жыл бұрын
I do believe people come into our lives to fill a particular role at a given time. But when that role is no longer required and their purpose fulfilled they will then leave or something will happen for them to be no longer a part of our lives. This has been my experience with friends over the course of my life and I believe although it can be hard to let go initially, the signs are there when the relationship turns sour and they’re no longer a positive impact on your life. Just know some friendships don’t have to last forever and nor should they. Make room for the right people to come into your life and I can promise you’ll feel so much happier for it!☺️
@muratdemirtas286
@muratdemirtas286 Жыл бұрын
True
@mandarue5104
@mandarue5104 11 ай бұрын
I love this and have honestly felt the same way. Friendships come and go depending on your needs, goals, and current stage in life.
@MrFiremagnet
@MrFiremagnet Жыл бұрын
This thing is a double edged sword. Sometimes you get into a real ambitious group, and than you find yourself persuing things you care about in a context of that group, but that might not be really good for you in a long term. For example, everyone is working while studying - and you start to feel obligated to find a job even if you struggle with academia while they don't struggle or struggle but don't care about it. Well, if you don't have your own established goals and established boundaries you can easily become a follower and your following may diminish your progress in life. So I would say a soft "no" to the fact that friends should be always challenging and that you must challenge other. Friends should be a support system, based on mutual respect and acceptance. Challenging yourself is your own job, not theirs.
@xxMpEGxx
@xxMpEGxx Жыл бұрын
general rule for the internet: take someones good advice and change or adjust it so that it works for you. Some of her tips might give you a new perspective, some wont work in your current situation. But use your own brain instead of someone else's to-do-list.
@jamesnoonan9302
@jamesnoonan9302 Жыл бұрын
Well doing more isn’t the same as doing right. Look at all the rich people who are awful and all the genuinely kind poor people. You said you would struggle with academics, and there’s people who struggle to even get out of bed, or perhaps struggle to even speak, or read, or walk
@serena841
@serena841 Жыл бұрын
​@@xxMpEGxx I agree.
@Krytern
@Krytern 11 ай бұрын
@@xxMpEGxx Yes but this video reeks of "cut people out of your life who aren't successful".
@xxMpEGxx
@xxMpEGxx 11 ай бұрын
@@Krytern well here comes the "use your own brain" part of my comment. Your radical understanding of her advice is a reflection of your own mind.
@JohnScigulinsky
@JohnScigulinsky Жыл бұрын
I'm not sure I can agree with your conclusion. I think there's a difference between having friends and having a life-coach. Toxic friendships are bad and nobody should have a friend who brings them down, but I wouldn't over-focus on potential for growth in favor of personal connection. Too many people forget that it is easier to grow as a person if you have friends who support you not just by helping you achieve your goals, but also telling you it's okay if you don't. For so many people, fear of failure paralyzes them into not trying - which can be so much stronger if you surround yourself with over-achievers. Having a friend who is telling you you are more than your achievements can be freeing. Helping me realize that I can try and fail and fail and fail again and my friends will be there for me, not judge me, provide a bit of comfort to relax and vent and unwind and get ready to try again. A great friend will cheer you on when you're winning, help you when you're struggling and cheer you up when you fail. Find those and your life will be better.
@jufinmay1
@jufinmay1 Жыл бұрын
100% agree
@Aaron_Barrett
@Aaron_Barrett 11 ай бұрын
Золоті слова!👑
@baltao08
@baltao08 3 ай бұрын
Beautiful.
@Fea_240
@Fea_240 Жыл бұрын
From my experience loyalty is the most important pillar for a strong friendship, cause you can be friends with anyone but without consistency, the relationship will fade away quickly because some if not most of those friendships are built around a benefit whether it's mutual or personnal benefit. To summarize all this we should love our friends as human beings and not as beneficial machines.
@yaba1
@yaba1 Жыл бұрын
W
@bernieslippers2175
@bernieslippers2175 Жыл бұрын
I agree wholeheartedly. After I realized my "friend" was only using me as a means to their own happiness and their loyalty was only available if it suited their needs. I.e. being entirely able to defend me from my own family and even grow to hate my family because of their toxicity, but when I was very openly mistreated by THEIR family, all they could do about it was say "I dunno man, they're just like that." It took many years for me to realize this person was not actually my friend, but now I know what to look for with this kind of person, someone who is both disloyal and dishonest. Passive aggression is also a huge red flag. Those traits can absolutely destroy whoever is subjected to these behaviors and I work every day to make sure that I am the best I can be for the people I love while also maintaining the balance of caring for myself. I think that's what people forget about being a good friend, hell, being a good person: you have to make a conscious effort every day. You can't just do one good thing for a friend but have no respect for them or no intention of continuing to do and be good afterwards.
@DarknessIsThePath
@DarknessIsThePath 8 ай бұрын
Misplaced loyalty is also a thing however.
@BarbaraM-lv7pe
@BarbaraM-lv7pe 8 ай бұрын
Bernie, sounds like generational trauma all around
@kinkycam11
@kinkycam11 7 ай бұрын
I agree. This girls kind of a tool. She talks about how she lost interest in her friends for not being ambitious enough and not having super deep conversations constantly, but then says her friends were uncomfortable with how successful she was becoming and ditched her.
@tinkersdinkers
@tinkersdinkers Жыл бұрын
i feel like too many people call normal friendships toxic nowadays tbh, others not changing and growing the same way you're changing (not brining to the table exactly what you want them to bring) doesn't just mean that they're toxic. friendships grow and change just like people, if the friendships isn't the same anymore with that person it doesn't mean that suddenly the friend was toxic liked your advice about looking into one's self to see if they were the person they would want to be friends with! neat video 👍
@MadeInPoland182
@MadeInPoland182 Жыл бұрын
I agree. It''s not just about aiming for more "ambitious" friends while disregarding the less successful ones (while you could be that empowering friend for them), and you never know what this "lazy" friend could help you with.
@proxied8075
@proxied8075 Жыл бұрын
@@MadeInPoland182 Agreed! One of my "lazy" friends has been an extremely supportive person who was always down to talk and validate me in my most emotionally difficult times :)
@Dielawn69
@Dielawn69 Жыл бұрын
Yeah, Ive always had a problem with that shit. Like for sure cut out friends that are terrible people. But cutting friends off solely because they arent obsessed with hustle culture is legitimately insane. As if grinding has anything to do with how good of a friend someone can be. A lot of psychopaths/sociopaths are "grindset" people. Does that mean you should choose them over a caring friend who you have a great time with just because they work at McDonald's?
@PrettyZ-qu6ws
@PrettyZ-qu6ws Жыл бұрын
My “lazy” friend was ultimately trying to talk me out of all of the things I would talk with her about unless it matched up with what she believed in or saw for me.
@tinkersdinkers
@tinkersdinkers Жыл бұрын
@@PrettyZ-qu6ws then my comment doesn't apply to you now does it :P
@yonzonnn
@yonzonnn Жыл бұрын
I've now realized that I was a part of so called 'toxic friendship' with my bff since childhood. Fat shaming is often considered severe and people talk about it and encourage it but only less people think that skinny shaming is as equally toxic as fat shaming, my friends always used to skinny shame me, first I took it lightly but as I slowly grew up, it has become my insecurity, I'm quite tall in fact I was the tallest in my friend group and my so called bffs used to point that out making me feel insecure. Not long ago I posted a picture of myself on whatsapp status and my so called bff were quick enough to point out by saying 'you look like a bamboo' 'you look like you're about to break'. But im thankful that im quite far from them now as im doing my uni in another city. Toxic friendship is really scary. Thank you Ruri for bringing this topic and talking about it.
@Chickensea10
@Chickensea10 Жыл бұрын
Good luck with your life
@supersarah5673
@supersarah5673 10 ай бұрын
Who needs enemies when you’ve got friends like those. Glad you’re in a different city. You do not need that kind of behaviour, I’m surprised how entitled they are thinking they can talk to you like that? No. No way. They’ve got to go
@BarbaraM-lv7pe
@BarbaraM-lv7pe 8 ай бұрын
y3seul, since the friendship has been around so long, for your own self respect need to call out your friends poor respect for you and question why they think their behavior is acceptable? What do your other friends think about this bff ?
@SamuelGulas-qg9ul
@SamuelGulas-qg9ul Жыл бұрын
Honestly I'm glad I started to watch your content again. I think the biggest problem actually when working towards success is not the lack of discipline, the lack of ability or talent, it's the belief in yourself. I started uni this year and went through all sorts of transformations and gotta say some people were really not happy with my lifestyle of pursuing something more in life and kinda passive agressively belittled me. The realization was really scary because it really shows that there are countless people out there who never had anyone to inspire them and to serve as a beacon of light and hope for them in the world. They will be never uncovered secret performers. Have you encountered these feelings too? Like slowly, gradually loosing faith and motivation in both your goals and yourself, asking whether youre not missing out on things others do, asking "what if they are actually right" and stuff like that. It's real scary how others can mess with you.
@teddywijaya4608
@teddywijaya4608 Жыл бұрын
I do feel it, how good it is when we are surrounded by friends or have friends who listen to and support our ideas.
@jcdeton72
@jcdeton72 Жыл бұрын
I think I was the toxic part of my friendships. I had 8 friends and now I have 0 and Im alone. 2 I abandoned, 2 abandoned me, 1 died, 2 got married and left town and 1 started a career as a lawyer and went to study who knows where. Everyone had my number but nobody ever called me even once the moment we all graduated and life started. But I guess you could say that I also didnt call them so that doesnt mean much, I just suck at socializing and I accepted that its better for me to stay alone until I die.
@mustafasadig2390
@mustafasadig2390 Жыл бұрын
you can still get your socializing skills better. it's never too late !
@hassansong7630
@hassansong7630 Жыл бұрын
Don't be to hard on yourself buddy, you can change if you believe.
@jcdeton72
@jcdeton72 Жыл бұрын
@@hassansong7630 Thats the thing tho, I dont believe and I dont want to change.
@MaryLovesJesus
@MaryLovesJesus Жыл бұрын
Sin shortens life, because of our sins we are separated from God.There is nothing in this world worth going to hellfire for. Repent of your sins and be born again, Jesus Christ is coming back everyone
@MaYa-kc5rf
@MaYa-kc5rf Жыл бұрын
Relationships are complicated, and being alone can be an opportunity to think things through.
@aryajpegasus
@aryajpegasus Жыл бұрын
I'm an extreme introvert, so the only friends I have who actually stuck around to put unnecessary effort into our relationship, so I have a very small circle of friends, maybe 4-5? but they're family, I love them to pieces, they're ever supportive and always ready to listen and give damn good advice : ) They're giants, my desire to be worthy enough to call myself their friend pushes me to better myself everyday : )
@juliacaradetrakinas
@juliacaradetrakinas Жыл бұрын
... and here I thought having 4-5 friends were a lot.
@Monokuma-1
@Monokuma-1 Жыл бұрын
@@juliacaradetrakinas I have only 1 best friend 2 good friends and the rest broke my trust
@allelss-oh8sj
@allelss-oh8sj 7 ай бұрын
Imagine having friends....​@@Monokuma-1
@xitogun101
@xitogun101 Жыл бұрын
The modern era of mental health talks about "cutting toxic friendships". But I don't think there's enough information about cultivating, growing and fighting for friendships. As life and things change, it becomes more important for people to be able to distinguish healthy from unhealthy friendships but even more important in how we manage and maintain these friendships. And I think One thing that's important here is being able to have tough conversations rather than just walking away in silence every time things get tough. This doesn't mean stick with toxic friendships, but it does mean, revaluate friendships and talk things out with those meaningful friendships. You don't want to be surrounded by "Yes-men" but you don't want people who are negative all the time either. You definitely want people who are real and are willing to challenge you. Personal growth is hindered when you have people who only say yes and don't offer contrasting viewpoints when they are truly needed. People talk about being lonely so much but I feel like this era has shown more of how to get rid of people and not much of how to keep long-lasting and healthy friendships. Have those hard talks, don't be afraid.
@BeYounique...Maryanne
@BeYounique...Maryanne 8 ай бұрын
Yes!! THIS! One of my best friends was a guy and I could say anything to him. I didn't have to walk on eggshells. We were both honest with each other. That's why I'm still mourning his death from nearly 4 years ago. He was someone I could truly be myself with.
@yanzi8543
@yanzi8543 Ай бұрын
I tried that but some people are really avoidant of conflict and just disappear or breadcrumb you rather than telling you what's going on.
@clementcardonnel3219
@clementcardonnel3219 Жыл бұрын
This touches me a lot. I quit highschool for my senior year to learn at home. It was revealing to see many friends turn their back on me, even resent me for this decision. Ever since, I've never found a way to build long lasting relationships. But it's also my responsibility, since I've never made it a priority over my work. I hope I'll manage to find balance.
@thickums5344
@thickums5344 Жыл бұрын
While I definitely agree with surrounding yourself with motivated friends who will inspire you and have deep ambitions, be careful not to let this poison your friend radar into only seeking those who care a lot about their career. There's A LOT more to life than being financially successful, and while society will tell you time and time again that your career should be your #1 priority, your loved ones aren't gonna remember you for how you paid the bills. They're gonna remember your character and the energy you radiate. Make that energy positive
@Krytern
@Krytern 11 ай бұрын
Yeah this video just reeks of "cut the friends out of your life who aren't successful to trying to be successful". I think this woman is just hyper-materialistic because people measure success in different ways it isn't all about money.
@Its_Cristianinho
@Its_Cristianinho Жыл бұрын
"Be the friend you wish to have" + 1 respect
@leegaul2161
@leegaul2161 Жыл бұрын
Not always. I lived a very one-sided life for many years. Being the supportive friend for others. Giving time, insight, and even money to help those around me. When it came time to receive support when I was at my lowest, most of those people were instantly unavailable, no shoulder to lean on, no advice, no ear to listen or even just let me vent. My troubles were an annoyance to them. When I became very ill, almost life threatening, aside from my mother, everyone abandoned me. Friends and even family. Being the friend you want others to be, can very easily be abused and manipulated by others. In my case, I learned to be the only friend I needed, and negotiating needs UPFRONT before engaging with others. It seems cynical, but if I didn't I would have actually been dead right now.
@bevanbuckwheatshea5520
@bevanbuckwheatshea5520 Жыл бұрын
I gave 'friends' money. Big mistake. Never saw the $$$ again
@rishi00018
@rishi00018 6 ай бұрын
Thank you ruri, I don't honestly have much friends irl but still I feel like there're some that doesn't feel that right so I cut em out actually most of em. And more focused on my personal growth to achieve my goals. Truly eye opening message from you really appreciate it.
@khalilahd.
@khalilahd. Жыл бұрын
The video I wish I saw a few years ago 😢 it’s so important to surround yourself with pure well intentioned people 🙏🏽
@ign_ite
@ign_ite Жыл бұрын
I'm just going through a phase where I feel kinda lonely and don't talk to much to people. I'm trying to reconnect with myself and judging if my old friends are actually the kind of people I want to continue hanging out with. This video was precise. You're the kind of person that I'd love to have as a friend, and advice from youtubers like you and others like Dr.K and Better Ideas really encourage me to be better. I love that you talk about these topics, keep going with the awesome content
@Krytern
@Krytern 11 ай бұрын
Just don't fall into the trap of cutting out friends because they aren't successful. Everyone measures success differently it isn't all about money you can get friends who are poor but will cheer you on when you gain success, and encourage you when you're trying.
@BarbaraM-lv7pe
@BarbaraM-lv7pe 8 ай бұрын
igna01, I understand where you’re coming from. Covid crashed my job and I have been ever so slowly thinking about many aspects of my life and their satisfaction levels within, and have thought that exact same thing regarding friends. The questions will help us find a new place to be within our lives.
@Skilldevil54
@Skilldevil54 Жыл бұрын
Sadly it is not just friends but family as well. I am currently experiencing this as certain people in my family seems as if they do not want to grow. They are too complacent with their current lives and make terrible financial decisions. I never realized how bad it was until I took a step back and recognized the situation and in turn it affected me. I started to realize that I would slowly but surely be like them if I stayed any longer but I try to cut off as much contact as possible or at the very least try to have very minimal communications with them as possible during family events. It is a sad reality but different people have different goals/priorities.
@TonyTheTiger1000
@TonyTheTiger1000 Жыл бұрын
I know this feeling far too well you’re not alone sometime I just wanna give up and died.
@EsDestroyer
@EsDestroyer Жыл бұрын
I think with these kind of opinions it's important to remember some people struggle to even have friends and don't have the luxury to chose who to engage with.
@cookiegirl891
@cookiegirl891 8 ай бұрын
@@makizenin1840you ain’t lie
@STAR-RADIANCE
@STAR-RADIANCE Жыл бұрын
This is true. I’m 53 and still battle with memories of friendships more than 30 years ago
@Quasartist
@Quasartist Жыл бұрын
Sometimes becoming a better friend and a better person means you grow out of the people who helped you get there. Some of the friends you make might start off helping you become a better version of yourself, but as you ascend, they are not immune to jealousy and envy, and could try to pull you down and turn you into a bad guy. Some people have gone through the process of becoming a greater friend, and stagnated, and will get upset when you strive to do even better. You can try to pull them up, but unless they want it for themselves, it's a losing battle. Remember, nobody is a permanent in your life, no matter how much it hurts. But also nobody has the right to try to force you to be a permanent in theirs.
@Helm1r24
@Helm1r24 Жыл бұрын
This video hit me hard. I am a college student who has spent one and a half years in the online mode, so coming back to the offline mode kinda seemed a bit hard for me. I stuck around a few friends for one semester (semester 4), but when we moved onto the next one, I felt something was off. I often felt lonely and a supposed "misfit" in that group and, at times, played around with my insecurities. While I was in this bad phase, another group of people who I spoke to ever since college begun, started to comfort me and make me feel motivated and worth something. So, I realised that these people were the ones I were meant to be with as we have similar goals and aspirations, but that came with a clause. I would have to distance myself from the people I spent a semester with. It was hard for me to accept, but I decided that it was better for me to move on rather than getting hurt by them once again. Now me and my friends are happily enjoying each other's company, enjoying life while working towards building a better version of us. To all those younger people out there, if you ever find yourself in a situation like that, then please don't decide to run away from these situations thinking that you're just overthinking it. It only brings you more harm than good. And don't worry, if you ever feel that the change hurts, then it is probably the best solution because trust me, you will never regret it. I was a prisoner of my own insecurities, and now I feel as lively as a dog, ready to explore more opportunities. Until then, stay safe and hang around with the people who resonate your energy and thoughts and don't feel afraid when a situation like this arises, because the only way you avoid it, is by facing it head on. Lots of love to all the young boys and girls out there💜
@Moonaxc
@Moonaxc Жыл бұрын
This arrived at the right moment. Ive been struggling to make friends who are into self improvement and being better people until I realised that I am not that dedicated to self improvement because if I actually was I wouldn’t care about such people who only ended up by hurting me or using me for their own sake. I have learned a lot and im ready to be the architect of my own environment.
@variiex
@variiex Жыл бұрын
I believe the saying goes something like "you're the sum of the closest people you surround yourself with" and that starts from within by taking initiative on defining who you want to be. I learned that early on in life as well and glad to hear you discussing it. Banger video as usual and hope to be able to meet you one day!
@towardsuniverse
@towardsuniverse 6 ай бұрын
I have 2 persons in class whom I approach for any small academic help. I don't hang out with anyone. I prefer being alone. Carrying out my plans, looking and observing people and things around me trying to overcome my resistance. It has never been so good. ❤
@danielg3918
@danielg3918 Жыл бұрын
I was not ready for that blue jacket! It's like vintage but modern and cool. This video resonated with me a lot. I was pretty stagnant in life until meeting the group of friends I have now.
@anaghavarma3331
@anaghavarma3331 Жыл бұрын
One of my biggest achievement is probably the fact ive never had a toxic friend, friends who are unmotivated, behind on studues, sure but never were they toxic
@xyzei5843
@xyzei5843 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this! Lately I've been feeling suffocated by my friend group in school and realized I'm becoming toxic in order to fit in. It's hard to leave from being comfortable but this video gave me the push to leave. Thank you so much! Looking forward on your next videos
@annaspeaks373
@annaspeaks373 Жыл бұрын
I am so proud of me that I choose friends too carefully and can say I have the best and supportive ones ❤️
@ross9503
@ross9503 9 ай бұрын
People have the right to stay in their comfort zone if they want to. Only because you want to push boundaries, it doesn't mean the others have to do the same. And a friend, pushing you, become invasive, unwelcome and negative. There are different stages and views in life. At some point someone may want to rest and remain that way, with it being a great triumph for that person. Money, recognition, are not the only measures of success. I liked your talk, and agree with part of it, congratulations.💙
@KeithCarmichaelInFL
@KeithCarmichaelInFL Жыл бұрын
I really wish I had been able to see this video 40 years ago! You’re making points here that I just came to terms with during the pandemic! You’re amazing! Keep up your great works!!!!
@VideoGameRoom32
@VideoGameRoom32 Жыл бұрын
Great video. I got a raise and promoted at a job. Someone from my college told me to go quit my job because I would fail. He also told me to find a job that paid way less than him like flip burgers or push shopping carts. Talk about insecure. A friend would say congrats and you will do well.
@BigHenFor
@BigHenFor Жыл бұрын
The concept of friendship is dynamic when seen from the perspective of the life cycle. As you mature, as your real priorities evolve and emerge, it will change.
@sauravistheascended7161
@sauravistheascended7161 Жыл бұрын
It already did ruin my life. Met some parasites disguised as friends back in HS who clung to me too long. Been trying to pick up the pieces of my life ever since. The sadness and regret can be so crippling at times.
@weast4421
@weast4421 Жыл бұрын
I feel you 😢
@supersarah5673
@supersarah5673 10 ай бұрын
Oh my this sounds intense. Can you share a little about about this? Only, I’m so curious
@HappyAzaleaFlower-iw8vi
@HappyAzaleaFlower-iw8vi 4 ай бұрын
Looking back in highschool i should've stuck to myself 😂
@sobanoodlegamer
@sobanoodlegamer Жыл бұрын
Nah, I literally had to cut someone out of my life who talks just like you. He criticized me when I didn't ask for advice and he would go on and on about being better than others because he didn't hook up and he didn't sit on his phone and he studied for countless hours and yada yada. Meanwhile, he is literally in a worse off place than me, and I never once put him down for it because I can respect that he already knows his situation and can handle his own. You don't need to talk down about "less ambitious" people. No need to compare just appreciate them for what they are, different. Some friends are situational like at work or for gaming or what have you, some friends are closer to your values and may have a deeper connection, and some friends you may see once a year and you never talk but you still cherish each other and cheer each other on. I just hope you don't look down on people for not having your values when they aren't hurting anyone by existing and you can have different flavors of friends in your life. It sounds like codependence where you have to micromanage the people around you in order to keep the environment inspiring to you. I would hope you feel more in control of yourself than that.
@Gaius_Julius_Caesar_Augustus
@Gaius_Julius_Caesar_Augustus Жыл бұрын
Good points.
@evelynnnyt
@evelynnnyt Жыл бұрын
I agree. I’m a pretty successful person and am all about my personal growth, but I have friends who still live at home with their parents, who love social media, who like to party, who work part-time, etc. I don’t like the idea of looking down on others for a different way of living if it’s not hurting anyone.
@guccisnacc4893
@guccisnacc4893 8 ай бұрын
Easier said than done. I feel like I m judging people based on their academical past and I try my best not to. But this thing was engraved in my brain because of my parents who told me I was always the best because I had good grades. Even if I move past the fact that some people are not that smart after all, I bump into hypocrisy( people who pretend to be smarter than they actually are, putting you down for your accomplishments and saying that they aren t THAT important, people who make fun of you for not knowing one thing , even if they dont have extended knowledge). This is where I start judging again and put them in their place. I also hate friends that dont have discipline, even if they are not smart enough. Because a good routine is better than being born inteligent. There are also friends that talk a lot about themselves, and when it s your time to talk, they vanish or they give a quick response. I want to change myself because I know I m not perfect, but at the same time I have expectations for others to be better.
@BeYounique...Maryanne
@BeYounique...Maryanne 8 ай бұрын
@@evelynnnyt I agree, but you also have to ask yourself, are these friends happy for you as you accomplish things in life? (Just as you are happy to hear about their parties and the things that mean a lot to them.) If so, your friends are amazing and it's a beautiful blessing.
@BarbaraM-lv7pe
@BarbaraM-lv7pe 8 ай бұрын
gucci, look at those who don’t aspire like you do. Besides that aspect, how do you feel about them 🥰? Good people are good people no matter where they are in life. Remember that. They are not their grades just like you aren’t. They may not share the values or the drive you do, but if they love you as a friend, they’re keepers. Just as you hope they don’t denigrate your achievements, don’t impose your pov on others in a consistent manner. You may not want to lose them. Enjoy them.
@zariazahr
@zariazahr Жыл бұрын
Love this line :- 5:20 You don’t have to be the victim of your environment you can also be the architect of it.
@elvoria
@elvoria Жыл бұрын
I find the higher I climb or try to climb, people around me got more toxic and conniving. Probably due to competition, u will rarely find true friends up there. In my opinion, Its important to keep a circle of friends totally unrelated to your career for mental respite.
@ZeroNeedsCoffee
@ZeroNeedsCoffee Жыл бұрын
Your so close to 1M subs!!!
@ermondgabriel2234
@ermondgabriel2234 Жыл бұрын
This is the reason why I just have a few friends... I just wanted a toxicity free life.. I don't engage in hook ups.. I found peace and my life became more and more positive ❤
@JOKER-hw5mx
@JOKER-hw5mx 8 ай бұрын
I have some really good friends who have such a golden heart , and they have dreams just like me . They wanna be smth big and are working towards that goal. We also wake up early and whenever free , we go early morning for fun and activity, they also focus on being fit and healthy. But there are also many people who consider me their friends but I don't, cuze they are good people but they don't even let me sleep at night. Just because they are night owls , doesn't mean I am too. It's really hard being away from home for college and then you get people like them, they are good people but they are just the average people, who don't have dreams. When I go home , I am always disciplined and working but when i come home , my sleep cycle and everything disrupts. I just wanna leave this place as soon as possible.
@kamenwaticlients
@kamenwaticlients 11 ай бұрын
That's why I have faded away out of my friends lives. I don't want to the weight that holds them back. They can do better. My time as a major part of their lives has come to a close. I'll just be, just become that memory that they look back at and smile. My absence and fading away is the best way to show them that I love them.
@zer0day463
@zer0day463 Жыл бұрын
I had really bad friends back in high school, I never knew they were toxic or bad, they always pointed out my insecurities to make me feel bad about myself, I didn't knew this was bullying, until after 3 years when I found really good people in my college, they really changed my perspective of what friendships look like. I learned a lot from these experiences. I'm never gonna settle for less and mediocrity when it comes to socializing, even if that means I'd have to stay lonely, loneliness is better than having bad friends
@HeisenbergFam
@HeisenbergFam Жыл бұрын
2:40 the quote about friends challenging you to be the best version of yourself is one of the most accurate sentences said in history
@slimelove3493
@slimelove3493 Жыл бұрын
And what if you do that and the friend gets really defensive and mad that you challenged them being set in their ways?
@BarbaraM-lv7pe
@BarbaraM-lv7pe 8 ай бұрын
slime, they’re not ready to hear your constructive suggestion, don’t like the way you offer them or have other insecurities or think that you’re controlling. Healthy people can take criticism and glean something out of it without taking it personally
@abrahamalatorre
@abrahamalatorre Жыл бұрын
I used to talk to a friend almost everyday before I decided to cut ties. Known this person for over 10 years and when I started seeing the negatively it was bringing to me, that is when I felt it was best to end the friendship. I've never been good making friends and so since then, I have been friendless. But this experience gave me time to learn myself, what I desire in life, growth, learn and keep learning skills, and grow as a person. It was definitely difficult and struggled with the change. I did not think something like this was going to happen but it did. And now I'm mainly focusing myself and grow as a person.
@StevenRafael268
@StevenRafael268 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for making this video. i've been struggling with my "friend circle" for a while now but i also didnt realize that alot of it actually falls on my responsibility of being a good friend as well, instead of pointing the blame on them.
@pedroh.9607
@pedroh.9607 Жыл бұрын
Something I learned from my family is to always give as little information as possible about things I'm doing or planning to do, because envy is something you can't predict and for those who believe it, it's a negative energy dumped on you.
@BeYounique...Maryanne
@BeYounique...Maryanne 8 ай бұрын
True you can't predict envy, but you have to have honest friendships. Don't ever dim your light in order to prevent someone else from being jealous. That's not a true friendship. People need to learn to be happy for each other, not jealous.
@pedroh.9607
@pedroh.9607 8 ай бұрын
@@BeYounique...Maryanne indeed, you are right and thank you for the comment, I can say that during these months I have changed my rather rigid way of thinking a little, I can say that I open up a little more about certain things, ofc, without exaggerating.
@BeYounique...Maryanne
@BeYounique...Maryanne 8 ай бұрын
@@pedroh.9607 That's wonderful. You never know who you may inspire!! Share your beautiful life and wins. The right people will be happy for you. The jealous ones show their true colors.
@GaryRSpicer
@GaryRSpicer Жыл бұрын
Just found your channel because I'm learning Japanese. And so far you put off a vibe similar to what I was from the time I was 17 to about 26. After traveling and doing the backpacking stuff in America, making friends sort of just happened. Some fell off naturally in a healthy way and I'd say majority of them ended because I cared so much about the relationship I forgot who I was becoming because I'd always be that friend to always answer to all my phone calls, video calls and other types of media that someone could use to reach me. Those I'd say highlight what toxicity is. It's the drowning of ones wellbeing in order to keep the ship on water. And eventually, the one keeping the ship afloat just has to swim off. And as sad as it was to do, I couldn't just ghost, I confronted. And at the hand of confrontation, their true colors became vibrant and I became an enemy. I also became toxic and put myself back into therapy to cope. Becoming an enemy of once a friend is one hard pill to swallow. But the bitter truth makes for a great life. The truth is, we're all imperfect and that's beautiful. Thank you for informative content 😁
@creepyanto9043
@creepyanto9043 Жыл бұрын
I knew what you said I have experienced this myself and I am still lonely I'm still 17 not an adult yet I've experienced some adult's around me couldn't Thank you big sister, I hope your video reaches to them
@WebSoak
@WebSoak Жыл бұрын
Why do you vilify your ex-friends? They became friends with you because you were someone they enjoyed being around. When you changed, neither of you enjoyed each other's presence. They are not bad people, you grew apart. Do not blame them because they had different life circumstances than you.
@tobysimmonds487
@tobysimmonds487 Жыл бұрын
I have not yet found a single person in my collage with a growth mindset, every collage student I have met at my collage scrolls mindlessly on TikTok and Instagram with a screen time of many hours a day. I'm trying to remove myself from them but it's so hard to do so when I haven't found anybody (and I am looking) with a mindset for personal development. For now, it's kind of damage limitation, I'd rather be by myself than be with people who instil bad habits into me (until I find my people)
@KitKeepsIt100
@KitKeepsIt100 Жыл бұрын
When I was in university I was very sociable, outgoing and hit it off with people quite easily. But one day (I was a third-year student then) I stopped initiating that communication - writing first, suggesting things, and 98% of those people disappeared from my life pretty quickly. It was an important lesson.
@karenbell4145
@karenbell4145 Жыл бұрын
This video was so on target on what you need to do to be your best self. You are the architect of your life. You want to pick friends that are your cheerleader, encourage you and never bring you down. You want to be around people you respect and inspire you. You want to continue to grow. Thank you for this video. 🙂💥💯
@jasmy-canada
@jasmy-canada Жыл бұрын
Thank you Ruri! You have confirmed to me that it's normal to outgrow everyone around and not feel bad about it. I feel so zen with myself now. Sending much love to anyone reading this. You deserve it! ♥
@BeYounique...Maryanne
@BeYounique...Maryanne 8 ай бұрын
Beautiful, honest video. I love it! I have three AMAZING friends -- my husband, my sister, and my uncle. That's all I need ❤
@ehmzed
@ehmzed Жыл бұрын
Recently one of my few friends stopped talking to me and I didn't try to reach out either. He's the embodiment of a toxic friend, as he fits everything Ruri described in this video. But I don't really have anyone else to hang out with and I did enjoy his company a lot of times, despite the toxicity. I wouldn't have distanced myself from him, so I'm glad he did it first... I just don't know how to get new friends, but I guess I should face the discomfort and challenge of doing that rather than staying at home doing nothing and falling back in depression. I really needed this video as a boost of motivation. Every time I watch one of her videos, this girl is always more useful than my therapist, at least in the short time.
@W_W-f8y
@W_W-f8y Жыл бұрын
Find some new hobbies and the friends will come!
@greedgod_
@greedgod_ Жыл бұрын
I had a friend that hated seeing me get better and I could see It in him every time he talked, then he started rumors about me so I dropped him, then I found out some things he did and I gave him a taste of his own medicine, with the knowledge I had of him I made everyone disowned him and leave him like he did to me. I realized what I did wasn't that cool but, I think he needed that to happen to him.
@MaxEnglishCoach
@MaxEnglishCoach Жыл бұрын
Surrounding yourself with the right people is like having a support squad that boosts your mental gains and fuels your ambition. Say goodbye to energy vampires and welcome friends who inspire, motivate, and bring joy to your life. It's time to level up those friendship goals, folks!
@mushroommagic1697
@mushroommagic1697 Жыл бұрын
Toxic people surround themselves with people whom they deem as less than them and people who are easy to mold so they will never be confronted with their own insecurities. Toxic people will only keep you down and show you flaws, mistakes.
@freshgame51
@freshgame51 Жыл бұрын
Your channel it's a gold mine of self awareness and personal growth 📈
@MITRAKS111
@MITRAKS111 Жыл бұрын
Yes True friends are team mates in the journey of life 👏true friendship is not comfort zone but a growth 👍
@fashionbeautyrocks
@fashionbeautyrocks Жыл бұрын
I noticed as I worked on myself that this would make people feel inferior and they would be cruel in various ways to drag me down, it takes real strength to accept loneliness over less than you deserve
@Troldmand-go3id
@Troldmand-go3id 6 ай бұрын
I’m in that period of time rn, where I choose peace and loneliness over fake ass bitches. Everything happens for a reason, and I really do think, its important, to learn being alone. It’s in these quiet moments of your life, you got your values and boundaries on the paper.
@VirgosGroove3
@VirgosGroove3 Жыл бұрын
Great video! I’ve tried to be a real friend, speak life into my friends and they’ve gotten mad at me for it. I had to start surrounding myself with smarter more successful people. They became more relatable and less draining.
@raymondou8184
@raymondou8184 Жыл бұрын
Toxic friends tend to influence people and seeking attention to manipulate them by praising and verbal abuse. Unfortunately, a closed friend of mine was a toxic friend in reality. I was influenced to choose a wrong college and major that didn’t serve me under the influence of a toxic friend. I paid the price trying hard later in my life to choose another career path.
@zososound
@zososound Жыл бұрын
You hit the nail on the part about the biggest red flag of a toxic friend, playing on your insecurities. Thank you, Ruri.
@SandraSine40
@SandraSine40 11 ай бұрын
I'm almost 30yo, and I dropped some friends in my life, but I would not recommend dropping all of them, my core friend group is 3 girls I met in my high school, we grew up together, we are like sisters, and we help each other, even tho some have slower growth than others, some made mistakes, and life gets in the way for most of us from having that flourishing amazing growth. I could never have left my friend that struggled with mental illness and finishing up college finals that took +2 years of her life. Or to abandon my friend that started her own business that failed... And I was patient and supported my third friend in finding her career in graphic design that took her 4 years to get. I heard a lot of people that moved to other cities or country in pursuit of better living or better pay, and are now lonely in their free time, I would rather be patient and stay close to my friends than have a lot of money and no life
@marcoadriano875
@marcoadriano875 Жыл бұрын
I used to be surrounded by a lot of toxic friends, "friends" who have grown with me, and when I started to learn English they start mocking me but I didn't surrender, I know my English isn't perfect but I try to improve it bit by bit even though they laughed of my failures. Now I broke apart with some of them and started to improve my own, I started to learn German and some physics stuff but I'm feeling better with it. Thank you Ruri, since I started to watch your videos I started to feel better with myself.
@Lairalairaaa
@Lairalairaaa Жыл бұрын
I just needed this video! I have just realized that not everyone who you consider a friend is actually your friend. I recently took distance from a person I considered to be my best friend. She was jealous and envious of me in a sense that she did not actually wanted me to succeed and wasn’t happy if I was doing things that made me happy. Now I am in this new era in which I am not allowing people to effect how I view myself and feel. I want people who can add something in my life, friend that pull me up and not tear me down. I want friends who are happy when I succeed and not people who wait for me to fail. Overall looking forward for more content Ruri✨ keep up the good work
@Lairalairaaa
@Lairalairaaa Жыл бұрын
@@AsadUsmani-vb9gz being more formal to them and showing or making them feel your boundaries and distance but not in a mean way.
@ilgazmore
@ilgazmore Жыл бұрын
But it is really hard to find that kind of ppl novadays. I dont know that much of popular culture and not using social media so I have to find other topics when having conversation. I hope your lifes go better :)
@Lairalairaaa
@Lairalairaaa Жыл бұрын
@@ilgazmore I think we all have lessons to learn from our experiences with certain friends even if we do not have contact with some of them anymore! I think that the thing is that when we evolve and be better versions of ourselves that automatically our environment changes. It is like that it attracts each other. So this is actually also for me; maybe the reason that I can’t find “real friends” is basically because I have lessons to learn and am not evolved yet to comprehend relations with other friends who pull me up. Maybe I need to be at a certain level to meet people from a certain level that share the same passion for life as me. So there is a saying : if you change your world changes or if your mindset changes your world changes. So at the end of the day I am the reason why I can not find the friends I want. As ruri says maybe first I need to be the friend I want to myself and others!
@eazeazeaz
@eazeazeaz Жыл бұрын
I hope you find the people that will love & support you as you grow! Going it alone is brutal, but it’s better than being belittled and influenced negatively by the people around you. Most people will stay in those toxic relationships forever. Moving on is the first step to building that life you’re imagining for yourself. Good luck ❤
@AnhNguyen-hn9vj
@AnhNguyen-hn9vj Жыл бұрын
well, most people want to have friend for party and having fun i think. lol. I am not sure if you want to have friends for the purpose of growth stabilizing. I think it could be you want to have a teacher to help you growth on certain aspects that you need instead a friend. It is more professional and better focus without involving too much other unneeded relationship.
@aoyenngoc502
@aoyenngoc502 Жыл бұрын
it's okay. sometimes I AM the toxic one who fails people. It's okay to cut them off not because they are mean to you, but because you don't think you're compatible or maybe you way too past the threshold to make things right again. Work on yourself and bring out your best self for the upcoming people and chances to come!
@thelabofmiracle7711
@thelabofmiracle7711 Жыл бұрын
soooo true , better to hav no friends than so called "friends".
@Mavuika_Gyaru
@Mavuika_Gyaru Жыл бұрын
Screw the financial stuff. Friends are there to have fun and to talk to. I love my friends. If im broke, that's on me, not my friends
@petermj1098
@petermj1098 Жыл бұрын
A friend of mine makes more money than me but he doesn’t shame me for it not making as much as him. We usually hang once a week and we chill with one another.
@ghostofpolaris
@ghostofpolaris Жыл бұрын
As someone who usually is the people-pleaser and who is the one who always takes initiative, it is hard for me to find others who would do the same for me and I realized a lot of people I knew took advantage of my kindness. I also realize I had grown and changed so much within the last ten years. It's been hard letting go of friendships I have had for almost a decade, but I knew they needed to happen. They saw me as the walking doormat I was ten years ago when I am no longer that same person who easily submits. It's just hard finding people who want to grow with you. Especially in an area that feels stagnant.
@BeautifulDreamerK
@BeautifulDreamerK 10 ай бұрын
I’ve been friends with someone for more than 10 years. I always found it weird because she would always copy me or ask me questions on where I got my clothes to where I would go shopping. She also asked about my upbringing and seemed to resent me with the activities I had or family trips. Mind you, I never rubbed it in her face. I told my mom and she said, “oh she sees you as an inspiration”. In my mind, she was single white female. Now that we’re getting closer to our 40’s, there’s things that pop up. For example, when we were in the process of getting a house, she assumed we didn’t have money for it, so she suggested a fixer upper shack. I’m reality, we could’ve afforded way more and what she suggested wasn’t something we ever considered. At that time, I felt like she had a tiny bit of an ego about it bc she had something over me. Truth is, we didn’t want to settle and ended up getting the house we could afford. This friendship has a major imbalance because of things like this. The mentality she grew up with, her values, etc. I’ve never showed off or rubbed it in her face. And maybe my mom was right- I was just inspiration or a Pinterest board to her because I grew up in a different socioeconomic class than her. I find that I have way more in common with my husband than I do with her. Also, because her and her siblings didn’t grow up with much, her siblings (who married into money) flaunt and show off like crazy, which I find very tacky but I’m still respectful about it. I feel silly thinking it took me years to figure this out. It’s hard to be friends with someone when there’s an imbalance and see you as someone they want to emulate. There’s a matter of time until they throw you under the bus.
@BarbaraM-lv7pe
@BarbaraM-lv7pe 8 ай бұрын
Beautiful, she’s sending weird vibes b/c there’s mixed feelings there: copycat, feeling less than by her sibs and projecting it on you. She may have low self esteem and needs to find her own passion to pursue in life. If she can handle it, discuss this with her when you notice her passive aggressive behavior. Hopefully the years put into this friendship will find her open to your pov. If not, maybe she needs some counseling. She’s seeing everyone climb up financially and is feeling left behind
@jacobh6193
@jacobh6193 Жыл бұрын
I’m thankful to have some good close friends. But I’ve been very extroverted the past few years. While I’m thankful for many of the memories, I struggled with placing my own boundaries and let myself be used, walked on, and burned out. I struggled with being very co-dependent and should’ve let go of many friendships earlier on rather than letting the pain they’d inflict continue. I love the advice shared in this video and can testify from my own experience with how true it is. Set boundaries, be friends with someone who encourages and trusts in you, challenges you, and respects the boundaries you set.
@Obliteraetion
@Obliteraetion Жыл бұрын
if a friend consistently makes you feel like they're bringing bad luck into your life or unnecessary time wasting, dump those fools, they are just using you
@sharsnow
@sharsnow Жыл бұрын
I've had "friends" in my life where they are constantly striving to grow and at the same time belittled me because they are so proud of their own growth and success, they have successfully become a person that only portray Toxic Positivity and they forgot I'm human with feelings.
@soumyajitsarkar2972
@soumyajitsarkar2972 Жыл бұрын
"The price of growth is outgrowing people. In practice, it’s nearly impossible to “grow together” as true growth requires obsession." - Naval
@yodo6414
@yodo6414 Жыл бұрын
I absolutely admire your story, and your content, Thank you, your an amazing asset to youtube..
@sumitridiculous
@sumitridiculous Жыл бұрын
Real friends are those who motivate us, inspire us, challenge us to become the best version of yourself
@LoneWolfExplorer
@LoneWolfExplorer Жыл бұрын
What a wonderful & true video, thanks for sharing this. I myself have noticed that my circle of friends has gotten smaller as I've got older, I could start to see the toxic ones and distanced myself. Now I'm on this new KZbin journey with my channel and can clearly see who is supporting me, motivating me, inspiring me and who isn't. You just helped put it further into perspective, thanks.
@yashwantsami88100
@yashwantsami88100 Жыл бұрын
Real friends stay with you through thick and thin. Not just be there to celebrate your success and belittle you when you fail and leave. As a med graduate myself I had a bad luck of meeting some of worst people who made my days difficult trying to survive in medschool.Then there were few good friends whom im thankful for, being my mental support. At the end of the day you are your own best friend. You can't expect others to love you the way you love yourself.
@ikawba00
@ikawba00 Жыл бұрын
I agree, had "friends" who left me during hardship and then came back begging me to take them back in. Twice they left me, and without an apology. That ^ is not a friend. That ^ is a fake.
@ladygaynor16
@ladygaynor16 Ай бұрын
Thank you. I appreciate you addressing this issue.
@islammaratov4766
@islammaratov4766 Жыл бұрын
"True friendship isn't about comfort, it's about growth" - hits hard and deep. This kind of ending is how it had to be with the kind of beginning you made - touching instrumental under noir video of quotes about friendship from people known as clever and successful, but unknown who they are exactly.
@jtrain3113
@jtrain3113 Жыл бұрын
This is brilliant I love it and I’m going through it!!! 🙏
@TarotKiller-y6i
@TarotKiller-y6i Жыл бұрын
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