RYSE: SON OF ROME (Zero Punctuation)

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This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Ryse: Son of Rome.
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[@mkall]

a roman goes into a bar and says "I want a martinus", the barman says "you mean martini?" in which the roman replies "if i need a second i ll tell you".

[@alexanderharveyconrad2409]

Nice one.😂😂😂

[@srbrant5391]

Read that in Codsworth’s voice.

[@th3_b1itz87]

Best Latin joke I've ever heard sir

[@buckstop]

A Roman goes into a bar and holds up two fingers and says, "Five beers please"

[@bennettcarlson3974]

*sigh* I really hate to be that guy but can someone explain this joke to me?

[@erttheking]

Jesus, if they wanted to create a game where Rome was being invaded by a powerful enemy, Hannibal was all lined up for them. Fuck, a game based on the Second Punic War in general would've been freaking metal.

[@DTOStudios]

Or if you want to talk about the fall of a previously glorious empire, the fall of Rome so the whole collapsing empire and barbarians kicking Romans about thubg makes sense

[@amienabled6665]

5 years late but the final roman persian war would also have made sense

[@rigel9228]

​@@amienabled6665 Yeah but then it would have been a game about the Byzantines which would be good because they have even less representation than western Rome...

[@brettbewley5798]

​@@rigel9228Absolutely. The entire life of Justinian alone has enough plot to be a complete series.

[@michaelkemel9711]

"But Yahtzee! The environments are pretty!" "Ooh I forgot, ten out of ten!" Yahtzee describing pretty much every other "professional" reviewer ever.

[@uria3679]

And people who judge a game based on graphics and fps stability

[@akiraigarashi2874]

@@uria3679 Those types are so annoying. If the gameplay loop is bad no manner of next gen graphics will help save it.

[@Ike963]

"Audacter calumniare, semper aliquid haeret." google translates to "Slander boldly, something always sticks." XD

[@IncertusetNescio]

So basically the press with their liberal use of the word "allegedly". :P

[@brainflash1]

The one Latin phrase Donald Trump does know.

[@LOLquendoTV]

There is truth to it. It takes more effort to disprove a single untruth than to make up 50 of them

[@MunkyDrag0n]

I am Quickeus Timeus Eventeus. Have at you!

[@av3stube480]

"10 year from now, games will have one button prompt labeled simply 'resolve', and then play themselves for six hours" Yahtzee... You just described a movie...

[@Yenrx]

For the record, this game DID have a romantic love part where they fell in love in two seconds....literally. They, Marius and Boudicca I mean, both admit that if Boudicca had not decided to be a dick and try and take over Rome while Marius is protecting it, that they would have probably fallen in love and crap...and then it all ends with you killing her...yay?

[@ShatterPalm]

The three latin phrases at the end are, in order; In vino Veritas (in wine, truth) audacter calumniare semper aliquid haeret (slander boldly, something always sticks) and Tu fui ego eris (as you are, I was; as I am, so you shall be) Props to yahtzee on that one.

[@ethan277]

You just saved me a trip to the google bar. Thanks! Also, latin always sounds so elegant doesn't it?

[@AkumuLyn]

I find it funny that the last one also shows up in Silent Hill 3

[@ShatterPalm]

ethan277 You're welcome :) And damn right it does.

[@LOLquendoTV]

@@AkumuLyn five year old comment but it is something found on a grave i.e I used to be alive, but am now dead, as you will be one day

[@tommerker8063]

it's in wine lies(is) truth not in wine truth

[@VenomLSX]

"But Yahtzee the environments are pretty" "Oh shit I forgot, 10 out of 10." Brilliant.

[@ninjawraith17]

In Vino Veritas=In Wine There Is Truth=When I'm Drunk I Speak My Mind.

[@over-ray-act]

That’s my tattoo

[@xadrezo2610]

If someone wonders what that coat-of-arms sentence in the credits means, it's roughly "Pointlessly critisize without fear, someone will always be stuck."

[@coryzilligen790]

A probably-less-verbatim, but more comprehensible, translation would be: "Slander fearlessly, for something always sticks."

[@CinemaBiohazard]

Shark People from the Planet Outlandish? That's so my next username.

[@Cptn_Fabulous]

Sounds more like a band name.

[@arrownoir]

And yet here we are, still isn’t. Stop making promises you can’t keep, you must be a politician.

[@amonggaming3822]

5:29 To anyone curious the Latin means: slander boldly, something always sticks

[@Okoii]

The Brian Blessed Barbarian made me laugh so hard.

[@Spazzboy911]

"But Yahtzee the environments are pretty!" "Oh, shit! I forgot! 10/10!" what every game developer wishes to hear. maybe one day they'll catch on to gameplay and story involvement instead of selling you an art gallery with lame and irrelevant quicktime events.

[@Dice12K]

Pretty much what I've been saying for a quite a while: Stop sacrificing gameplay and story for graphics!

[@Dice12K]

+Sewo97 I agree on a lot of things you said. >.>; I know that not all studios sacrifice for graphics, so I say that to the companies that do. I'd like to bring up someone that does: Crapcom! Now the problem here is that the "Ideal Graphics" they have in mind and sacrifice for is WRONG. See what they did to Dead Rising 3, ie: watch Yahtzee's review this week on the actual Escapist website. Also they can't understand the concept of BALANCE. After killing off Megaman and ruining everything else, the only Capcom game I'd want to buy is Phoenix Wright, but I'm scared that they ruin that (as well as the fact they didn't release Ace Attorney: Investigations 2, so what's going on?). D: Moving on... I disagree on what you said about Bethesda, but I don't disagree that there is sacrifice for graphics. What want to ask is how are the games obsolete? I've played both Skyrim and New Vegas (and I'm currently playing through Fallout 3) and I guess, yeah they can be redundant, in a big picture kind of way, but not obsolete. So... What're you talking about? Yeah... AC kinda died for me after Brotherhood... D: AC3 stopped being about what I wanted in the series, but I played through it so I can what happened to Desmond. Good thing I did before Yahtzee spoiled it for me! xD I never touched the Modern Military Shooters and nor I ever want to. If I want to play a shooter, I'll play TF2. xP

[@Dice12K]

Makes sense. I play mostly on consoles, but I do have Steam on my laptop. I know PC gaming is great and all, but I don't understand the "Master Gaming" jokes. Also, nice job on the trophies by the way. I never cared for the concept. >.>;

[@Zanithos]

At 5:08 is that an army of Roman Jason Stathams? And does anyone else think that would be completely awesome?

[@benshepherd2076]

For once Yahtzee didn't need to over-exaggurate his critique, it was all pretty valid

[@nokturnallex2160]

Can't believe he attack the fact that they reused the same character models over and over so you would kill some barbarian dude then his exact twin again... and again... and again... for almost the entire game. If that doesn't kill any sort of immersion you might attempt I don't know what will.

[@crunchyfrog555]

He did - note the point where he says "what they need is some generic white dudes... and, oh" or words to that effect.

[@YHLGguitargeek]

Daniel Linger I think that was referring back to the CoD and other shit FPS reviews where he makes a point about the entire cast being burly white dudes. Y'know, to drive the comparison home.

[@TroPy1n]

lol at the ending ; audacter calumniare, semper aliquid haeret (slander boldly, something always sticks)

[@qnteban]

tu fui, ego eris: you was, i will be ( second person). right. flawless latin.

[@richardmulledy3857]

qnteban Thanks to Latin syntax being different from English Syntax, the tu is actually the subject of the eris, the ego the subject of the fui. A verb doesn't need to be adjacent to its subject in Latin; in fact, the subject often is implicit in the construction of the verb.

[@qnteban]

Richard Mulledy that would make more sense.

[@devilsmessanger]

please,never stop and never change !

[@Alatreonmaster6292]

Why did Ryse demonize Boudicca? She waged war on the Romans because the Romans humiliated her, stepped on her people, and raped her daughters. Id say thats a pretty good reason to besiege a nation, and it wasnt even barabrians that sacked Rome. The Germanic tribes sacked Western Rome when it fell, and the Celts who besieged Rome under Boudicca could hardly be considered barbaric. All in all, Rome was the wrong country to say is in the right for a AAA game

[@herschalshep]

+Alatreonmaster6292 Hence why it's spunkgargleweewee Ancient Rome edition.

[@Alatreonmaster6292]

+Herschal Shep Fair enough, I suppose

[@mordirit8727]

+Alatreonmaster6292 it's the AAA industry mate, if they can make the USA look like heroes on the Midwest crisis you think they won't make Rome the good guys here?

[@Alatreonmaster6292]

+Thiago Freitas You do have a point, and in my honest opinion, the AAA games industry seems hell bent on painting the villains as heroes in some sort of effort to fantasize over a history that only the most hardcore appreciators could have wet dreams about. I'd say that the who they depict as the heroes and villains paints a very good picture of the cumulative mental state of the people in the industry, and it's not looking for their annual psychiatric evaluation

[@mordirit8727]

Ffion Trixabelle not exactly true but good enough of an approximation, but what he was talking about was *us* *nowadays* considering her actions barbarian. In case you haven't realized, we no longer use the word "barbarian" to describe "person who doesn't speak Greek".

[@quacktac]

I find it amazing that they managed to make QTEs with less gameplay than before.

[@Valiordruid]

This kind of historical revisionism is the kind of thing that really pisses me off. I have a tremendous interest in the ancient histories of Rome and Greece, and even while the knowledge is cursory, I can tell you that this game gets so many things wrong its astounding. And it does a massive disservice to what would normally be an interesting history. Yahtzee may have said it more concisely than I can, but it bears repeating. Depicting the Gauls and the Celts as anything more than a loosely organized series of hill tribesman is absurd; they had absolutely no mind for tactics or strategy, and the only reason they outclassed Rome for a good quarter of their early history was because of numbers and their high morale and spirit. They may have burned and sacked Rome around 400 BCE, but that was when the Roman sphere of influence was corned in just one small area of Italia; barely a tenth of the region. It was a mere hundred years after their founding. After that, Roman expansionism started to set in and they started stepping on the Gauls with clockwork regularity. They were all but wiped out by the time the Gallic wars ended in 50 BCE. It would take another 400 years before the barbarians (not even the same barbarians, but the germanic tribes of Goths) were able to directly assault Rome again, and that was only because the Empire had torn itself to shreds because of political infighting, mismanagement of the military and a deficit of food.

[@Rykanable]

Claiming the Gauls had no mind for tactics or strategy is pretty fucking stupid, too, if you knew anything about ancient history. I do recall the Gauls giving the Romans a run for their money several times in the Gallic Wars, and the main reason they lost was the simple fact that Caesar was just that tenacious.

[@Valiordruid]

Rykanable They didn't as a whole. Might I remind you that the Gauls only united under a single banner only a handful of times throughout their entire existence, and it was always when a) a leader arose among them who *did* have a mind for unit cohesion and b) when they were up against a superior threat that would stomp them out if they didn't unite. During the Gallic wars they were only held together by a half dozen or so leaders who knew what the hell they were doing, most notably Vercingetorix. And no. They lost because Caesar was relentless, _understood tactics_, and had superior technology. He was outnumbered by somewhere around 3:1 when the war started and yet somehow came out with a decisive victory.

[@JediSpectre117]

Ahem!! Scotland and Ireland beg to differ, you know the two places Romans tried and basiclly said stuff this. We don't know much about the Ireland case but in Scotland (yes I know at that time is was the Picts but if you know you're history you know that Picts and Gaels (later) pretty much equal modern day Scots and Irish, with some Viking and Angle blood mixed in) they used Guerilla warfare and tactics and used the terrain to their advantage. So obviously romes tactics and tech couldn't handle the ancient Irish and Scots cause they went stuff this, the Irish can stay on that Island and we'll build a wall so we can keep the other half of this Island and keep the Scots out.

[@Plankensen]

JediSpectre117 If you know history, you would know the Scoti people was celtic and came after the romans and exterminated the picts. as they took the eastern lowlands. and then the vikings came from Norway and the two together exterminated the picts.

[@JediSpectre117]

Planken Eh what, the Picts were never exterminated. While both Celtic tribes did fight, there are several examples of them joining forces against their enemies (Angles and Vikings etc). Also the Picts at some point accepted a Scoti as their king (when this happened the territories became known as Scotland) and were absorbed into the gaelic culture, while on the Viking side (the islands of Scotland) they were absorbed into Scandinavian culture (that's debatable from what I know, you could be right about the Vikings exterminating them).

[@snakes3425]

Of all the things I hate about the xbox one taking 6 hours to install an update tops the list.

[@ohtosweg1334]

6 hours? What is your internet connection speed? Do you have it wired? Because for me it's never taken 6 hours to download a patch. Then again, I only do have 3 games.

[@jodiemilligan8347]

MINOR Drdepartment us yl

[@gamingslurp1927]

THEN GET SOME BETTER INTERNET SPEED

[@randomlyentertaining8287]

My internet speed should have zero relevance on my ability to play a single player offline game.

[@Fir7shadow]

Maybe it's just because I live in the middle of the city and have high speed internet, but I've never had an update take more than an hour or so. Most games are installed in two hours or less, which is a little faster than my PC. Though, my PC is a couple years old.

[@lyingpancake95]

The game contains the same amount of fun as watching 300.

[@drow_Lilith9940]

some people like that movie

[@su1T1]

ryan bell Reincarnated Spartans....

[@TheRobotDevilInside]

I don't know... I didn't feel bored to my death when watching 300.

[@Funnyketvideos]

I liked 300.

[@drow_Lilith9940]

***** it is a fun movie but not great

[@beterbomen]

"Ten years from now-" It's almost here, guys. Somebody make that game.

[@Ketsu112]

i honestly might, would be a lot of fun

[@agiar2000]

5:28 Audacter calumniare, semper aliquid haeret; Latin for: "Slander boldly, something always sticks;"

[@atomicbeef7887]

Crytek must have a thing for always using a y instead of an i in video game titles.

[@OuroborosChoked]

The actual plot of Ryse (as Yahtzee told it) had me laughing harder than any of his purely original jabs. That should say something about your game, Crytek Frankfurt...

[@zeyface6366]

I'm unsure if I've ever seen a more historically inaccurate game in life

[@xcellentcreations3312]

To be honest, this game has a special place in my heart

[@thecursedhero]

So it goes into the spunkgargleWeewee genre?

[@sailoritaly]

+Herø brine I think he called it a Funkmarbleteehee

[@thesnowboundcabin]

JP 160 here's a little internet tip for you: this NEVER works

[@riquelme3764]

But yahtzee, the environments are pretty!

[@Qrafter]

FUCKING 10/10!

[@Batman-tz5cw]

10/10 IGN

[@juaniv5942]

+Batman Eh. But there is a little bit two much slauter.

[@adamj4759]

+Batman 7.8/10 too many romans

[@gaburaisuknakrack4620]

+Johnny Cervantes *Slaughter

[@Macktehduck]

rome-ance

[@hats1642]

OH HOH HOH HOH

[@cooldoggo3221]

Joseph Bissett Ohhhhhhh hohohohohohoohohhohooh, HOHOHO!

[@12321dantheman]

In fact the words are etymologically related.

[@zyad48]

macktehduck XDD nice one

[@Rainhartt]

macktehduck i dont get it

[@sailoritaly]

3:33 IGN in a nutshell

[@muskatDR]

Too much water in the mediterranean sea 7.8/10

[@SlyDragoon17]

Kind of a bullshit comment considering IGN actually gave it 6.8/10, the lowest rating it ever received from a major game reviewer.

[@diecirodya]

3:33? Illuminati confreame?

[@McgoganLives]

To me, Rome: Total War seems a smarter investment than this game...

[@opmike343]

Well, there's a slight issue of those being two entirely different genres of games.

[@McgoganLives]

Yes, one is fun, the other is boring.

[@ApprenticeNick]

***** Ooooooooooh, you got him!

[@SageVallant]

Rome: Total War is more historically accurate than this game. And you get to DECIDE whether Rome wins or not in that one!

[@TheChaoticCats]

Mike E Well yeah that's pretty obivous, especially since Boudica gets killed by Marius in Rome (where she never set foot in) nor had she ever seen an elephant or knew what it was or ridden one, she killed herself actually :P But yeah this game was only good for certain fighting parts and that is it, everything else is just a bitch slap to everything the game industry wroks at, everything historians work at, and everything we actaully WANt to see in a game

[@rioelpiarez1291]

I'm just home alone laughing hysterically!!!

[@OliverCovfefe]

Boudicca invading Rome on FUCKING WAR ELEPHANTS!?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? Let me guess the Chinese employed Ninjas and Samurai against Korea at some point in time.

[@Dusty--]

Y'know for next gen it really doesnt feel like we've gone anywhere..its just the same shit as before

[@VenraeLOL]

I can't help but feel this is due to Game companies not wanting to take the risk and the majority of consumer don't want things to change from what they know and love

[@Sultschiem]

Which was exactly what the consumer wanted in the first place considering the shitstorm at everything new what microsoft showed....

[@tmlhalo6100]

Sultschiem DRM isn't new, its just shit. Neither is the Kinect new.

[@SycrosD4]

I expected that at the start. Gotta wait a bit, I'm sure. Look at what 7th gen games we had at the start of the generation and what we got near the end.

[@TheRealDrSick]

next gen worse than current gen. world first

[@TheGeoshark]

Well maybe people will stop shitting on Visual Novels now there are games that are even LESS interactive.

[@ibrahimalgarawi2099]

I don't think Visual Novels should be counted as Video Games simply because they're an interactive piece of software. Ace attorney (I assume you're a fan of that series after looking at your avatar) is not a visual novel in my book, it's a point and click adventure with a LOT of dialogue. At least that's what I believe.

[@TheGeoshark]

Abraham Alqarawi I'm a fan of the Ace Attorney series? Whatever gave you that idea? All seriousness now, visual novels are just as legitimate as any other genre in my opinion. A lot of people give the Zero Escape series (9 Persons, 9 hours, 9 Doors and Virtue's Last Reward) shit because when you aren't in the puzzle solving area's you're literally reading a book and making one decision that affects which area you enter next and which characters you'll be seeing in said areas. Same thing goes for Catherine and (to a lesser extent) the Shin Megami Tensei/ Persona games and I don't think it's fair if the writing is good.

[@ibrahimalgarawi2099]

TheGeoshark I just assumed that you liked Ace attorney because of your avatar.

[@TheGeoshark]

I can lend you my ladder so you can reach the sarcastic comment that flew over your head.

[@ibrahimalgarawi2099]

TheGeoshark Sorry, but sarcasm isn't my strongest point.

[@BTML498]

Ya know this really was the Xbox One's "Ace in the hole" that never came through...

[@PwnageMode]

Bald hobo WILL NOT QUIT.

[@BTML498]

PwnageMode Hey I am not wearing this fucking collared shirt for nothing jackass...

[@_GuiltyGhost]

I'm not too sure that it was the "ace in the hole" sure it was advertised but so was everything else...

[@ANoobNot]

BTML498 wow so am I 0_0

[@Pan_Z]

***** I feel like Forza was, but that also failed so...

[@CephuGaming]

I love this guys reviews fucking hilarious

[@LPlandOFazul]

Wait...so the main character's name isn't Ryse? When why did they spell it wrong? I have the benefit of the doubt when I thought that was his name...my bad.

[@spencer871]

Main character is Marius. It's named Ryse: Son of Rome because Crytek is in love with their company name and spells their games accordingly. I.E. Crysis, Far Cry (1), Ryse.

[@LPlandOFazul]

Oh...I get it now. That's lame hehe

[@jpHasABadHandle]

Spencer Doust They should have made him Maryus while they were at it :P

[@HarpsicusSealius]

Spencer Doust It's funny though... the new Xbox 360 free to play shooter is called "Warface", and it's made by Crytek. Their marketing department had a hard time putting a y in face I guess...

[@EliteRocketBear]

Harpsicus Sealius Could have just called in WarCry. See, arguably they need to hire me right now.

[@Catasros]

the latin phrases in order of apperence: "In wine lies the truth" "slander boldly, something always sticks" "I am, you'll be"

[@Jaceblue04]

Well, of course the environments look pretty in this game; these are the guys who made Crysis and Far Cry, after all.

[@Jimpiedepimpie]

The latin bit at the end means ''In wine is truth''. Just so you don't have to google it.

[@faceless58]

google translate said it was "slander boldly, something always sticks' which fits in much more fittingly with a harsh critic.

[@ghoulofmetal]

faceless58 you are talking about two different phrases

[@faceless58]

Andras Petersen oh yeah i see. in vino veritas i could bloody translate that come on. probably only because of veritaserum from harry potter though

[@Jimpiedepimpie]

Well I just googled the bloody phrase.

[@ghoulofmetal]

The one about wine is not last

[@s4tchm0j0n3s]

"10 years from now games will have one button prompt at the start labelled simply "resolve" and then play themselves for 6 hours" Pretty much predicted the ryse (heh) in mobile and F2P MMO games that do literally that.

[@spencer871]

"So how long does it take [to install]?" "I'm not telling you!" fucking lol

[@logitechpanasonic3]

one of your best videos so far

[@Bl4ckH4nd]

Lol, my 50gb Killzone installation took less than 2 minutes.

[@vicegirlsusa]

Nice, bro, you really showed him. You're so great at installing things!

[@Bl4ckH4nd]

That actually made me laugh xD

[@Frost_on_YouTube]

"Marius as in 'Thank you Marius but our emperor is in another castle.'" Hahaha Laughed waaayyy too hard!

[@Frost_on_YouTube]

twilightwindwaker Well some of it takes part in Rome, but mostly in Britannia.

[@smjosh1]

King Oswald died where I grew up on the Welsh border in Shropshire, Oswestry, which comes from Oswald's Tree. He died in battle agains King Offa of Wales on the Maes-y-llan which is now my old school's sports field. The story says that when he died he was hacked to pieces and put in a tree, then a bird came along and picked up his arm, and dropped it a few hundred metres away and a spring came forth. Which is called Oswald's well, the path to which now serves as a quick and quiet escape route for the school boarders to escape for a quick smoke/drink/fuck in town. Charming place.

[@SunnyC.D.A221]

I have a vague theory about people that watch Zero Punctuation... it's that sooner or later viewers would start to think with Yahtzee's voice instead of their own... because by God I have... well sometimes... and no I don't have a problem, LEAVE ME ALONE!!

[@pikachu10000ful]

THANK GOD! I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME!

[@jordanwalker4269]

pikachu10000ful I do to..... And i'm a girl!!!!!! *Scared Face"

[@brickbrickerston7099]

Watching the yogscast helps with that and thinking with simon's voice is much better then listening to this guy

[@notbigboss9254]

Conspiracy?

[@MetroidMan101]

Can't... escape... free will... free thought... lost.... Yahtzee... dominion covers... all minds...

[@osriccauldwyn]

Speaking of Nightcrawler... WHY has there not been a Nightcrawler game yet?

[@harryvrentas6359]

Because the only game developers who can make a decent superhero game are still too busy making batman

[@paradoxacres1063]

Eh, you can teleport in Dishonored. Close enough, I guess?

[@binlongong1298]

Shhhhh... don't say it out loud, cause EA might hear you...

[@DynoStretch]

osriccauldwyn Because they'd have to find someway to shoehorn Wolverine in because he's a cashcow, and then they'd eventually give up and just make it another fucking Wolverine game instead.

[@thewayfarer8849]

osriccauldwyn In the X2 or X3 movie game he was in it.. I actually thought it wasn't half bad. Iceman stages are shit, Wolverine bits are short and barebones, but the Nightcrawler stages were pretty good, there's a part where you delve through alkali lake fighting sentinels and teleporting through the ruins which was awesome. Not a great game, but entertaining

[@l0stndamned]

My opinion of this game would be higher if it did have shark people in it.

[@TheProjectProductions]

Beautiful to the chap who translated those. Gotta say. Poetic chatter.

[@Dice12K]

The oddest thing happened again today when I was trying to watching this weeks Dead Rising 3 review... The advertisements before the video was a Dead Rising 3 trailer. xP

[@Dusty--]

Get adblock and you wouldnt have that problem

[@Dice12K]

I was not complaining about the fact I had to watch an advertisement... Why does everyone assume that?@.@;

[@Dusty--]

Because they are a problem, and fucking annoying and useless, im not going to buy any shit so I dont want to see it. Luckily I haven't had a ad for years now

[@Dice12K]

Good for you.

[@CP-xg5dg]

Yes, because its not as though ads are what allow KZbinrs to make any profit, and its not for some, their only source of revenue. Thank you for enlightening us, and showing us how we should screw over the people who make the videos we love. Good day sir.

[@purplefanadic234]

i love your brutal criticism

[@brainflash1]

2:46 I wonder which game Yahtzee will have predicted here. Or was that just Final Fantasy All the Bravest?

[@joek9235]

2:50 He's absolutely incorrect about that fact and I'm pretty upset about it. Here we are three years later (not ten) and if you've played Nexon's game "Hit" on the mobile device you would know they already have the auto play button incorporated. Press it and your character fights everything without need for effort.

[@Jaceblue04]

I just got back from Yahtzee's review of Knack on the Escapist's website. It was uploaded about 20 minutes ago.

[@ZELDANERD9]

I do believe a correction is in order. Barbarians WERE the stealthy assassins of the BC period until the fall of Rome.

[@Endgame1011]

Barbarians were anyone not roman, as the romans believed that non romans sounded like they were saying "barbarbarbar." So yea i guess you could say there were barbarian assassins, but then again you could say there were roman assassins, classifying everyone not a roman citizen as an assassin i think is pushing it a bit. regardless, the classic barbarian is the pelt wearing, axe wielding, war painted maniacs that charge the nice roman lines to die (see beginning of Gladiator) so his point still stands

[@ChazCharlie1]

James Frankovich I think it was the Greeks who came up with the Barbarbar thing, but then again what they say is all Greek to me!

[@ZELDANERD9]

James Frankovich You're right, but to be one hundred percent technical, the barbarians where mainly people to the north, and west of the roman empire.

[@banethesithari]

***** theres a difference between having a few stealthy assassins and being able to sneak an army large enough to invade rome through the 100s of miles of roman territory is ridiculous

[@ZELDANERD9]

banethesithari And that is exactly what the Barbarians did. Gauls, Vandals, Selucids, etc. They were so "sneaky" they literally lived inside the cities. There was no great "BARBARIANS AT THE GATES!" scenerio, it was more of "Oh, hey, look, a Barbarian is in charge of our city gate! But he would NEVER open it to some of his fellow country men, he's to romanized! ^_^" and the naivety of Rome kinda was a giant suicide.

[@bassax7045]

can you do a zero punctuation about ZERO PUNCTUATION ?

[@bihazards]

And while we're at it, make a Zero Punctuation about a zero punctuation about ZERO PUNCTUATION?

[@ThatCanadianGamer374]

TELL ME MORE ABOUT ZERO PUNCTUATION

[@AlanStagner]

Gameninja I'M DONE TALKING ABOUT ZERO PUNCTUATION.

[@Unknowntroll1]

These Review's saved me soooo much money

[@EricAurumSkagg]

So... not the Simon Scarrow-esque game I was hoping it would be when I first heard about it. Figures.

[@ryallenquake]

If I can be honest for a second, the big twist at the end of the game is that Nero had Marius' family killed. I honestly don't know where he even got the idea that barbarians did it.

[@GREATGAIWAIN]

This somehow improves the game? That only makes it worse as now the Barbarians are completely pointless and boring on top of being overstated and boring.

[@ryallenquake]

GREATGAIWAIN Who said anything about defending the game? It's just a simple fact.

[@Yenrx]

ryallenquake I thought the twist was that the an unknown goddess (that oddly is never named) is actually using Marius as her own tool to stop another unnamed god (also never named ever...) from using the earth and it's ant people as playthings...because god-rules? The annoying stuff behind, even with the stupid plot reveal that was never a reveal aside, THIS is the part that pissed me off the most about the game. Because one god got board and decided to destroy an empire for the sake of some lively entertainment and another was like "nuuu that's a bad thing, I'll have to stop you by doing the exact same thing!". I mean, not naming them was fine and dandy on it's own but it's all over Greek and Roman storytelling that the gods and goddess use humans to enact the fights they really want to do with each other because of rules...So why is it that this was not explored more? I honestly stopped caring about the story plot with Marius's family and so on the minute the not-named gods/goddess are brought it because I wanted to know how their sub-plot was going to change the story...and it all ended with a hand wave...

[@SamuraiCaveman]

This game is one of my favorite industry embarrassments to look back on and chuckle.

[@solhamer3502]

Yahtzee's seamless use of pronominal adverbs is masterful. He is a true wordsmith.

[@TheDrunkardHu]

man, this is great stuff.

[@leiilei5440]

"how can we make quick time events more fun for our players? oh wait, we can make it so it isn't really a quick time event, but a button suggestion which you can completely ignore, with a cut scene happening in the back that Appears like you are doing something, now that's game design."

[@smithster1166]

you sir deserve more subscribers!

[@Jbob1917]

agreed, too bad you have to deal with all the other crap the escapist posts on youtube...

[@smithster1166]

thats messed up that you would say that

[@Jbob1917]

because while they do have some good stuff ;zero punctuation, the big picture, jimquisituion, they have a lot of junk that simply floods their uploads ; no right answer as well as their delayed news with andrea renne and keeps me from wanting to subscribing to them. i would rather zero punctuation have its own channel which was simply part of a network instead. the current form factor is similar to machinima which also cover their gems in piles of crap

[@GoodRetroGames]

00:29 The cutest light Yahtzee has ever been portrayed in. Dawwwwwwwwwwwwww!

[@jmurray1110]

From the sounds of it the kenect actions would probably have been better if they had RTS elements and let you organise your forces positions and attack positions so you actually feel like you have an impact

[@Jaceblue04]

Just wait until after the launch. The next gen consoles will get better games eventually. That's why I'm waiting a few months before I get either of them.

[@Dalbert342]

I still have way to much fun with 360 to switch...but I'll get Xbox One eventually

[@heatherbramwell1104]

Goddamn it, I try to stop myself, but whenever I see a new zero punctuation video, I stop whatever I'm doing and watch it

[@coaxill4059]

On that last panel where you have the "Brick on the accelerator and a hose in the exhaust pipe" That tube going into the respirator is going into the air out valve. I would have thought this was straightforward enough for everyone to understand at first glance, but you breathe in through the filters. The valve in the center only opens when you're exhaling.

[@OCMOOO]

Brian Blessed the Barbarian has a nice ring to it

[@Bigbub66]

If you go for a historical setting then you need to be accurate. If you want top make shit up make your own fucking story.

[@yesmlord9483]

***** the first season of HBOs "Rome" wasn't so bad either.

[@guguigugu]

Lobstromonous Entertainment i take it you never played assasin's creed games, then?

[@Bigbub66]

guguigugu While it's not as bad in Assassin's Creed I wish they'd stop making you meet famous characters and interact with them. You should just see them and maybe killed if they were assassinated but just stick to using a time period for a setting.

[@yesmlord9483]

The 1st season was great if you love roman culture, setting, or history (though not historically accurate) you will love this show.

[@AlrightJack101]

+DatMass019 Yes, Rome (especially the 1st Season) is excellent. There isn't a single weak actor in the show, everyone gives it their all and it was ultimately cancelled because it cost too much to make (usually a good sign). The 2nd season feels rushed, especially the second half, but that kind of makes sense when you consider that they were originally going to make 4 seasons. Even so, well worth your time.

[@MKLANCER00]

the only game I was interested in that MIGHT of made me get an xbox one, not anymore, thanks for the heads up as always yahtzee

[@MKLANCER00]

***** I liked the look of titanfall but im not a big online multiplayer guy, and not really, I play pc stuff but very rarely, if I was to choose a console to buy at this rate it'd be the ps4, just my opinion

[@thu4167]

In the credits, his first title- in vino veritas- means In wine, there is truth.

[@daishoryujin95]

Nero is the last emperor I'd want to be locked in a room with. He was insane.

[@redcell9636]

actually ryse, and rise are like the words raise and raze, same sounding opposite meanings, dictionaries, and english class is fun

[@kourii]

If they're so fun, you should consider giving them a chance.

[@RomanThuesen]

*FIXED* "Actually, ryse and rise are like the words raise and raze. Same sound, different meaning. Dictionaries and English class are fun."

[@redcell9636]

Thanks for the fix of my grammar errors, much appreciated. This is not ment sarcastically in any way.

[@Bugman541]

Richie Montalvo *meant

[@redcell9636]

lol this was old

[@Con745]

I loved this game no matter what anyone says I like to play it good vid though.

[@masseffectbozon]

hahah these videos are amazing

[@tylerstockton9429]

you sir are amazing

[@DeepDiveDevin]

(silently waits for Yahtzee to trash Mario 3D World)

[@UncleJaken]

(Silently waits for Yahtzee to rip Battlefield 4 to shreds)

[@DeepDiveDevin]

(silently considers reply to comment)

[@Gongasoso]

MasterShadic2 SHUT UP

[@DeepDiveDevin]

Why?

[@Gongasoso]

Uh... it was a joke, cuz you were all (silently whatever) and I thought it would be funny to say... FINE NEVERMIND

[@Nexus9118]

The barbarians did not kill Ryse's family. It was the Emperor's supporters who dressed like barbarians.

[@EXRazeBurn]

Oh, well then. I suppose that changes everything about this train wreck of a game. 10/10

[@chesney1995]

Nice spoiler alert.

[@alldayagain]

It kinda blows my mind this XBoxOne launch game is 8 years old

[@applejhon8308]

Yahtzee sure does use alot of props from the fallout video games, the mask the hose was hooked up to at the end was the respirator from the lonesome road DLC

[@alucardbloodyvampire6066]

RYSE: SON OF ROME is next gen??? looks like 360 game

[@simeonyves5940]

may have something to do with Xbox one, the lead development platform for RYSE, using the exact same AMD ATI Radeon 9800 GPU as the xbox 360, a GPU that is now 5 generations out of date, only has a 450 MHZ response time and a maximum VRAM of about a gigabyte,. xbone IS a 360, just with a new body and slightly more RAM and a slightly quicker CPU (i3 at 2.1GHZ instead of a 1.5GHZ pentium) hence why it looks like a 360 game, it basically IS one.

[@basblob]

no, it looks like a next gen game but plays like the generic piece of sh*t beat em ups from he early 7th genn

[@Pan_Z]

But THAT BACKROUND which is obviously so demanding... I wish games would evolve gameplay wise, rather than just graphically. You would think with more available and upgraded technology, you would be able to make a better game but nope.

[@Dargesh890]

Dan S Why make a better game when you can update graphics? Because all those people like me who play games for the story and gameplay can go fuck off because pretty environment!

[@GrizzLee30]

Cough cough Wii U cough cough

[@EpicLuigi24]

How is the Xbox one selling....? I'm not asking as a Nintendo fanboy, I'm just wondering. It seems to have more issues than a busted dishwasher.......

[@jaytonhawkins2872]

It plays games and they look nice. That is how it is selling.

[@EpicLuigi24]

GP SMAV Fair enough.

[@ZachPayne]

EpicLuigi24 Not even remotely as well as the PS4. That's how.

[@EpicLuigi24]

Zach Payne I know that, and it makes perfect sense since the PS4 is a good system. It's just that the Xbox One seems to be more trouble than it's worth ($500!) with better, more reasonably priced alternatives (PS4, PC, Wii U.....) But what do I know. :/

[@Ragefor3Dayz]

Hype. It's all just hype. 'Nuff said.

[@catiseith]

I had a Commodore 64 too. I understand your pain :(

[@TerranViceGrip]

Any one else notice the increased frame rate of the starting sequence ?

[@thejadedeagle6729]

I'll never get an xbox one. It has no decent games and I'm not in the market for a tv player.

[@ContraWolf]

You mean a VCR?

[@DataProwler]

***** Dud spud?

[@snicketgames]

watching one review. ...after another...after another.....grats yahtzee you brainwash well

[@tSp289]

Now you hate all games?

[@espio87]

In my case, I became dissapointed to the videogames industry as a whole while handpicking select titles to play, majorly Indies, Nintendo and Blizzard games. He did influence some of my purchases, as I bought Psychonauts this summer sale. Another thing he helped increase was my hatred towards microsoft and the mockery they make of console gaming. And I agree this generation is really dissapointing.

[@davidplayhard]

Bored Jedi what's ya profile pic?

[@snicketgames]

David Martinez Some random anime pic of me blowing my brains out

[@GlitchTheF0x]

It's a Persona 3 thing.

[@Willie_Pete_Was_Here]

Remember when you could put the disk in your console and play the game? Now you have to install everything like PC. Welcome to the future of gaming.

[@KotoAndSpaceyKaS]

apart from on pc it seems to install much faster

[@markb7533]

The arrival of “idle games” was foretold by a man named Benjamin. Well done!

[@JordanWindhamBenford]

Xbone -1 so far for me.

[@JordanWindhamBenford]

***** touche my man, touche

[@Sharkster_J]

***** Agreed in 6 months from now when some good (or hopefully they will be good) games like inFamous and Watch Dogs show up then they will be good until then... $10 upgrade to PS4/Xbox1 for AC4 and I suppose the PS4 has Knack.

[@censorduck]

am I the only one that doesn't get the whole "Romans are all pasty white" thing. By the imperial age, Rome was quite a cosmopolitan place.

[@GonnaDieNever]

+Censor Duck 99% sure thats a thing people made up in the last century after European colonialism. Italians are about as white as everyone else on the mediterranean.

[@888Brain]

I don't know why people keep telling that we have dark skin....

[@neferacronia6798]

Tancread of Galilee Italians are a type of white though. I think normally the term is olive skinned? But it's not actually the Italians we're talking about here, it's the people the Romans enslaved and then earned their freedom. They took people from all over, brought them to Rome for labour and then if they did a good job they too became a Roman citizen. That's what we mean by Rome wasn't all white people, it truly was diverse.

[@UristMcTubedwarf]

i remember the transition from ps2 and xbox to ps3 and xbox 360, that truly felt like i was in the next generation. going there to ps4 and xbox one just felt like i paid more just to buy the same consoles and games again... fuck it im sticking with wii u and pc.

[@a29561]

It's like the makers of Gris were determined to prove Yahtzee wrong on the "one button, 6 hours" game development timescale