(S5E2) UNAVAILABLE MEN. | HOMEMAKING VLOG, Book Review, Traditional Wife & Marriage

[@myradiantreality]

My husband goes by himself to think and pray. When I notice this I go pray for him bc I know he’s dealing with something stressful.

[@peacefulhome6]

you're amazing to recognize that!

[@MamiChula4eva]

Aww how sweet, I'll steal that idea ! ❤

[@KenadieWasHere]

This is a great thing. I am going to take this advice!

[@ajack7122]

Coming from a man, y'all killing it. Continue to support your kings.

[@zachianggandu774]

You are a good wife, may God bless your union with peace, love and understanding. Men cry too, but sometimes he doesn’t want you to see him cry because it might break you. Once a man open up to you please don’t use his weakness or challenges to mock him when you are angry. Once he can trust you the way he use to trust him Mom, you are a winner. But don’t talk or treat him like you are his mom, remember he is your husband he doesn’t want you to Mummy him.

[@claudiag.3036]

What really hit home for me was not chasing him & forcing him to talk to me when he obviously needs time to decompress and be alone. I do this a lot when we have an argument. He’s not a yeller, and always walks away. I always follow him and want to resolve the issue NOW. I need to give him space and let him be. His job is very physically and mentally demanding. It’s draining on all fronts. Thank you for this reminder to make our home his place of peace.

[@sincerelytee3029]

I can relate.

[@hometowngirlncurls5669]

I've been there!!!! That's why I love Bindi's videos. They always make me look at myself and take accountability for my behavior as a wife.

[@StacieBussey]

This is my story 😢 I'm learning to leave him alone until he's ready

[@danilaroche1156]

I had a minor misunderstanding with my boyfriend. He wanted to be alone and I went bananas banging on his door. Bombarding him with texts and emails. I thought we'd marry but instead he LEFT! It's been months now. God showed me that my abandonment & rejection issues came up. That these wounds needed to be healed before I marry. Thanks Bindi!

[@claudiag.3036]

@@danilaroche1156I love that you used this as an opportunity to gain wisdom & learn from that experience. You could’ve been bitter, but instead it made you better!

[@UntotheLord]

I learned this lesson this week! I also realized that when I shut up and stop trying to get him to talk to me he’s able to listen to God. ❤

[@samanthagchere]

Wow..I'm encouraged to be patient.

[@destinyramsey2534]

That’s powerful sis

[@Revivingidentities]

Amazing!

[@shantryce375]

Oooooh thats goooood

[@Aseabasplace]

This was a hard-earned lesson for me as a young wife. We don’t process things the same and I use to try to manipulate my poor husband into talking to me. Praise God for wisdom! When I learned to give him his space, he began to trust me, and open up more than he ever did before. ❤ Thank you for this video, Joyce!

[@jose-pie3055]

My husband's "man cave" is definitely video games and playing guitar. He definitely wants an actual man cave room for these activities but until we have room for it, I try to leave him alone until he initiates conversation. In the meantime I like to make him special coffee drinks or food and set it next to him without saying a word. This always helps to lighten any tense mood either of us are in because he feels cared for and appreciated and I feel good being able to help him feel better.

[@godislove1602]

I absolutely love how your create exclusive married woman content. Not girlfriend not fiancé wives! 👏🏽

[@lyndi8548]

But while men are “in their cave,” women typically still have to run the household, take care of the children, etc. Rarely can women use this time to connect with friends and family, take some “me time,” etc.

[@cletang88]

I am not married yet🤞🏾 but this video was very enlightening. Giving your guy space is definitely necessary.

[@renaetaylor8097]

This is something I'm learning as well.. good point!! I'm embracing this in my feminine role now.

[@MadamAngelique]

My problem was that he would play video games every evening after work, to the point he wouldn’t come to bed until 2am. This would carry on through the weekends. Then it was sports on top of that. Debriefing is fine, but at what point is it interfering with our quality time. This went on for 5 years in our marriage. He would fall asleep every night on the couch while playing video games.

[@zeenkosis]

Elisabeth Elliot’s book let me be a woman says it best: “You married a man”😂 I remember that going off in my mind that my husband was not a male version of a girlfriend but he is a man.

[@InspiredbyBarbNatifu]

😂 very funny but true.

[@francineclave2207]

Mine goes for a drive in the car. He loves to drive. He used go on his motorcycle, but he is older now and doesn’t ride a bike anymore. We have been married almost 40 years, Bindi, I find what you said here matches what I see. I like the perspective of giving him space to work through his dilemma, I believe it’s good advice.

[@botanicalbecca8443]

So beautiful to hear of a 40 year marriage still going strong! May the Creator continue to guide and bless your love! 🙏🏼❤️

[@botanicalbecca8443]

This is a helpful reminder for me. My husband and I are currently in a very stressful season of life, but both doing our best to do what's right for our marriage and our four children. My husband definitely tends to withdraw, and even after 17 years together, I sometimes take it personally, when it isn't at all. Men, especially those that are the sole providers and embrace their masculinity and faith, have it tough right now in the West. Thank you for this timely reminder! ❤

[@kalonmontgomery8213]

Lol I swore this video was going to tell me how I was causing my husband to withdraw, and I was reluctant to watch; however, I'm glad I overcame pride and watched it. It was a blessing to know this how men process stress. Just this weekend my husband withdrew to our bedroom and watched movies. I'm also that wife that complains my husband takes too long in the bathroom. Thank you for this video. It was humbling and needed.

[@gabrielleeskridge533]

This is so good and timely! My husband is a video gamer and has a man cave. He used to go there a lot. He has now added going to play video games with his best friend during a night or two on the weekends. I have felt so neglected and hurt by this and felt a lack of trust and fear of abandonment in our relationship and God has been telling be to be still and let him go. This video has given me an even greater understanding of what God has been revealing to me about my husband and in turn more grace for him. I am encouraged and will continue to pray fervently for him!

[@Sadiyatou]

I am an introvert and have no issue understanding “man caving” or staying in the bathroom for alone time. What is a problem is when ahusband checks out while the wife is overwhelmed with the multitude of tasks involving home care and childcare in addition to a full time job. This is the reality of many women, who do not have the luxury of not working outside of the home, and whose husbands do not step up in the home.

[@vtbhoward]

I sense your struggle is very disheartening. I hope it has started to improve for you up til now. If not, I'd suggest you have compassion for him and yourself. Pray and seek for God to change the dynamics in your home, beginning with yourself. I also suggest that you take a mindset that your struggles are greater opportunities for faith and love building. Look into the non-violent communication approach to addressing your needs/desires/goals for your household.. Have a graceful approach and let God guide you. You and him both equally need to be heard, seen, understood, and supported in a balanced way. God has given you the Spirit of Love, and a sound mind. Be empowered to release neediness urges, and embrace calm security in knowing that you can talk with your husband, and request very specifically for his support.

[@Sadiyatou]

@@vtbhoward thank you 🙏🏾

[@vtbhoward]

God be with you, and believe, @@Sadiyatou!

[@bettycroker2237]

I am woman in my late 20s and I've read "The Male Brain" and "Why Men Are the Way They Are," to obviously understand men better and these talking points in the video are in these books. If you're married or planning to be married it's important to understand your man for a compassionate harmonious relationship so I highly recommend them if you are dumbfounded in 'male speak' Also I loved the home gym segment you featured that was dope. Keep up the quality content

[@JudahReignsDance]

Thank you for sharing this video. My husband prays when he's going through something. Every once in a while if it's something really stressing him he'll go sit in church in the evening and pray or fast. Usually when he's going through things he tries masking it, but my spirit of discernment never fails me. I'll ask him what's wrong and he'll express himself while holding some things back (and that's okay). But every once in a while whether he looks happy or not I ask him how he's doing mentally. If I see him slacking in ministry, due to work, or if he talks like he's changing his mind about pursuing something because of other people's actions, I remind him of his purpose and the importance of increasing his faith. It usually encourages him and helps him get his head back in the race. When he tells me about his issues at work with coworkers I read out loud Psalm 35 and wherever I see the word enemy or a synonym for the word enemy in that scripture I say his coworker's name. But the one thing that I love is when my hubby comes home on his first day off after a 12-hour shift, takes his shower, and instead of going straight to bed he'll come and sleep next to me on the couch, while I'm working. I have to force him to go to bed but I love it because I know that's his way of showing me although he's tired, he still wants me to know he's present. I love him so much and pray for him daily.

[@raina4woods]

This came right in time. My husband is a Sergeant in a maximum security prison so he tends to have a lot of stressful times. As of recently he had to attend sergeant academy out of town 5 hours away which is during our anniversary day and my birthday. I’m very hormonal due to pregnancy and this our first time in our entire relationship being separated for so long and so far. I had a accusing tone about feeling neglected on my birthday and that didn’t go over so well as you said in the video lol. He mentioned he was stressed and was going to do the best he could while being far away but my accusations added even more stress on him. I learned I need to give him space and allow him to enjoy being social with other men who understand him and seeing a different background than prison walls so he can cope with the stress of his job and life period. This video was confirmation of that. God bless you and this channel! ❤

[@samanthabrooks9714]

@RainaLaReina hi! My husband is a corrections officer & has mentioned this sergeant test & how he’d have to be away for months. I read your comment & felt drawn to reach out & let you know I’m keeping you in prayer. Thank you for sharing part of your story because now I don’t feel so alone!

[@raina4woods]

@@samanthabrooks9714 thank you and your husband for y’all’s service keeping communities safe and helping correct the lost! It’s such a stressful job for them so I will keep you and your husband in my prayers ❤️ luckily he only had to do 11 days away but we’re so joined at the hip so it was so hard for me lol 😭 he graduates and comes back in 3 days so me and our kids are excited! Thank you for the prayers 🙏🏾❤️

[@danilaroche1156]

You really want to make it a priority to be in fellowship. It's crucial. Are you in a church fellowship? You need strong sisters to support and encourage you. Especially being pregnant.

[@deborahmuhammad7574]

Great video! My hubs is a carpenter. He currently remodels homes and maintenance at our church. He works VERY hard and I actually like when he's sitting and relaxing. I DO however feel sad when our home is left to take 3rd or 4th place in terms of maintenance and beauty. I take that very personally. I got off topic a bit...

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

The shoemaker's children rarely have good shoes.......

[@lovejones1897]

We feel that way because we have made him an idol instead of praying for him and putting that anxious energy into The Lord

[@nicolealdridge9472]

It would be such a blessing if there was a wife bible study . ❤🎉

[@hannahdaki4117]

Hallelujah

[@theparttimehomemaker]

These are great points to be aware of. It is important to allow them to have their alone time, just like we need ours. I think I allow my husband enough down time but I'll definitely be re-watching this to let it all sink in.

[@JesusmyLord77]

I find it so hard when I haven't seen my husband all day because he is at work and when he get home he goes right to watching car videos on youtube I find it so annoying and like he doesn't care about me/us.

[@HoppySabbathHomestead]

I think that the reason I have gotten offended by my husband's withdrawal is because in the past, that has been a "punishment" towards him. Wow, that's gross of me to put that intention on him. Making things all about me I am seeing has been a theme in my life. Thank you for expressing these revelations you have received.❤

[@diannecardoz3512]

God's amazing grace and perfect timing for me to come across this. What an immense blessing for me to hear this. I've literally been saffocating my husband and nagging him at times as to why he doesn't talk to me and forcing him to talk to me.... God has been so merciful unto me to let me know this. Thank you so much Bindi❤️ You are a great blessing ❤️

[@2Cor5_17]

Your videos are very wisdom filled and I can tell by the Spirit you don't just talk the talk, you walk this out in your home as well. Praise God I'm not married but these kinds of topics can apply to any relationship. When it comes to coping mechanisms, needing space and time to think/process. When it comes to stress, both individuals should be able to just simply say, they need xyz in respect not demanding. It seems more like abuse for one to withdraw and the spouse is now timid or having to look for ques as to why the other is distant. Not saying there aren't evident ques to see one is stressed, but to choose not to verbally communicate a need, and instead go play video games, watch sports, or go with others to cope i believe is not appropriate. Or choosing to go quiet and expecting the other to just see you're not in a good mood is also wrong. Communicate and then take the time needed. Also, for a man who says he is born again and is serious about Jesus, i dont believe the Holy Spirit would lead him to play video games. It is so childish and a lot of the times these games are sinful. There are many other ways to go and ponder before the Lord or just have time to himself. A man cave or woman cave is just as bad. As we Americans have defined the term, especially for the man, is that its a space for video games, movies, sports watching, and just entertainment all together. Even porn is an option if he's carnal. Mothers/wives in the home will always have the duties to keep moving forward with the upkeep of their home and raising of the children. Maybe some time to themselves, learning new things like recipes or could cope by overspending on things unnecessary. I've done it and as a single woman. I could tune issues out by drowing myself in videos. Homemaking, diys, food, etc. Sometimes not to learn but to just literally zone out. Idle time which is not good and I have to be careful. Instead go really ponder on my feelings and situations. Whether that's a walk or cleaning. All in all, what I see from the outside looking in, husbands are given the leniency to just go spend time in entertainment to cope or decompress while the wives/mothers are still left with duties of the home and children. I dont see much of husbands doing the same for their wife. Its rare that i hear the husband relieving his wife because she too has stress and in need to decompress. In a carnal household there's a vast difference. The wife could very well choose to gossip on the phone, overeat, overdpend, go to clubs, more time with friends etc. but for the believer it should be holy and in circumspect with the spirit.

[@danilaroche1156]

This ties in nicely with Titus, where it says the older woman should teach the younger, how to love their husbands. I'm certainly guilty of going nutty when my man would pull away. I'd go BALLISTIC. It never worked.

[@MuseSunflower]

I have an understanding of this because I’m the same way! I’m not a big talker when it comes to working things out, I’d rather just retreat so I can solve the issue. Long drives, walking through the park by myself, sitting in random parking lots in my car to people watch are my ways of decompressing

[@Blessed_SAHM_Of3]

Thank you Bindi for this video. I feel like God guided me to you today. I am pregnant with our third child ( just had our second 7 months ago) and I am really struggling emotionally and your video really helped me put my husbands feelings into perspective.

[@keyottacollins]

My husband turns to sports. He watches it and now have started coaching. Never thought of this perspective. This blessed me today. Thank you 😊

[@thepuffinpanda9139]

This is so hard for me as a quality time person. All I want to do when he comes home is hang out and be together and being away from him involuntarily (while he's at work) and then even longer voluntarily (when he needs alone time) is so incredibly difficult. He is away on a long business trip right now and it is killing me but I can tell that he is a stronger man now that he was when he left. Men need their time and it is in our best interest as wives to let them have it.

[@vtbhoward]

🤗

[@MRS.NKA.2024]

I love how you said not to take him being in his man cave personally. That hit home for me!

[@henrygoboy8621]

You are Godly young woman offering wisdom to others wise enough to hear. Respectfully I would say I disagree with leaving when your husband is struggling. Know that he loves you and is comforted by you. Just be quietly there for him. A good woman is soothing to her husbands mind.

[@414SHORTIE]

Thank you for sharing the wisdom God has imparted to you Bindi, I’m very thankful to have this resource available! Listening to this video opened my heart up to see how selfish I can be by not being quick to consider what my husbands needs are. I enjoyed the part of going out shopping once understood he’s needing time alone ❤ not just being “distant”. Praise God for leading us through marriage to be better Christ like wives!

[@tmiller7755]

I needed to hear this. My man has been really stressed lately and has been retreating to the office to play his video game. I’ve been thinking that I’ve been supporting him by sitting in there with him while he plays his game. I think I need to give him the time and space to hang out with the guys and play his game alone. Thanks for the advice.

[@dellas2946]

Wow. What a creative and well thought of video. It’s like a two in one video like about marriage and also what I do in a day video. No doubt that was the idea of it. I enjoyed it thought I was distracting. Lol. Had to intentionally try to remember to listen to what you were saying

[@620graham]

I agree men do retreat. My husband goes out side to wash the cars, cut the grass, and reorganize the garage. Sometimes he just sits on the front porch. I can clearly tell when he needs space and I respectfully give it to him. Also, Jesus retreated as well (to pray). So it is in the nature of the male.

[@ladyneal8145]

I originally found you because I have locs. I am not married yet but I have been drawn to these videos. I want to be the best wife/helpmate I can be when I am called to do so. There’s so much negative energy related to relationships and information out there. I want to operate the way that is pleasing to God. Thank you for these.

[@user-dv8bs7tb5c]

Come back to this again and again

[@thelmakatherine5396]

For the past twenty years my husband has played Runescape as a way to de-stress.

[@karawilliams8504]

Yes, these are all facts. Really I think as husband and wife we need time to do our own thing in general. As said in the video, find a hobby or do something else so he can have a moment for himself to think and process without someone constantly in his face. I would caution though that it should not be a regular and consistent thing that he doesn't spend time with you or his kids. As a man he has been given the responsibility as a husband and father to pour into his children and lead his household and he accepted that responsibility when he said "I do". 3hrs in the basement playing video games or playing golf yes, but daily for years you come home, go in the basement and stay there until 3am is NOT acceptable and I don't think God would be pleased with that.

[@Lynn94309]

I’ve recently found your videos & they are life changing. My husband turns to fishing. This would be his man cave response. 🎣

[@emilyarnold8978]

I am a woman and withdraw since I get overwhelmed with stress. I think it is good for men and woman to take time to be alone since like you mentioned it gives you both time to decompress. If you both have respect for each other you will give each other time to process This to me has created better conversations and understanding. Great video!

[@dannyadams4603]

GOOD MORNING SIS, IT'S NOT A CAVE IN PSALMS 91 IT'S REFFERED TO AS THE SECRET PLACE OF THE MOST HIGH!! FOR ME IT'S MY TIME WITH ME FATHER I NEED TO TALK IT OVER WITH GOD IN PRAYER AND MORE IMPORTANTLY FOR ME I NEED TO LISTEN TO THE VOICE OF GOD! I FIND MYSELF SEARCHING THE WORD OF GOD!!! MOST OF THE TIME IT'S JUST MY TIME TO LET SELF CONTROL RULE! THE LORD IS ALL I NEED AT THOSE TIMES AND I GUARANTEE I WILL EMERGE THE MAN THAT MY "WIFE" MARRIED AND LOVES! IT'S ALL ABOUT TRUSTING THAT GOD IS IN FULL CONTROL!! PEACE MY SISTER YOUR WISDOM IS PRICELESS THANK YOU FOR BEING FAITHFUL TO YOUR CALLING IN THE KINGDOM OF GOD, THIS IS SO HELPFUL!!!💜✌🏾🙏🏾

[@Lynn94309]

You bring so much light to difficult situations in marriage. Thank you 🙏

[@PeterNorthsLeftTesticle]

Getting "machine gunned" the second you walk through the door by an emotional woman is absolutely great for a relationship! 😂

[@georginakaye1021]

Literally watching this while doing the dishes with my headphones on, while my husband watches snooker 🤣🤣 Brilliant video. Thank you as always Bindi!

[@ChristFirstHomemaking]

Your videos are always encouraging! Even so much that I started my own channel and uploaded my first full video today! I was nervous and scared all at the same time but I know the word is for everyone and I know how the Lord does with me so why not give it to someone else! Thanks for the encouragement

[@emilyb1692]

Love this. Your videos are always so helpful and a rebuke to me as a wife. Thank you for these! Have you read the book "For Women Only"? One of the most eye opening books I've ever read.

[@maddymedelina2612]

Am I the only one thinking that him retreating doesn't mean there will be some "me time" available, rather than him leaving me with the kids and all the house chores?

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

I wondered about that. I need downtime like air to breathe, but it seems that wives don't get that understanding.

[@pattyhansen7563]

I always felt this way, as well. I have a husband who has ALWAYS worked a weird 2nd shift & had a long drive to & from work. When he would come home, he would have the house to himself for a couple of hours, as it was like 3 or 4 am. Plus, a 45 min each way drive - time to himself. Plus, he would camp out in the bathroom for 40 minutes at a time. When he would get up in the a.m. he would want to sit alone for an hour....He loves to hunt & fish & would do that whenever he felt he wanted to. I spent ALOT of time alone with our kids. If I wanted to do something without them, it was like an act of God to get it to happen & seemed like it was always spoiled by a kid getting sick, or the car breaking down, etc...I would feel very resentful & even the smallest mention of it would mean an argument. Now our kids are older & he really missed out on alot of the 'family time'. Some was due to circumstances beyond his control - working hours, but alot of it was not out of his control. It often felt like the kids an I were a unit & he was some add on. We've been married almost 20 years & last year almost split up due to this behavior. we've been in counseling for 9 months to straighten this mess out & it has come to the surface that I have no friends, group hobbies, workout, community/church activities because for so long he had 'his' time (and out need, was away for work) , but all of my time was 'his' time too (as I have stayed home & catered to the family). this has been a very hard thing to overcome this past year. I am still floundering. Now my kids are grown (19 & 16) and don't need me as much & I don't know what to do with my time.

[@sabrinag3357]

I’m going through this right now in my marriage except I’m a mom of one to a 5 year old boy. I decided to look for a part time job outside of the home to help fill up my time as I have no friends or family nearby.

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

​@@pattyhansen7563It sounds like you were a married single mother. Now you have the time, it'd be good to explore things that do interest you and to give yourself time to find out what you want to pursue. If finances allow, a few counselling sessions may help in getting clarity about what you want to do, but also to release the layers of resentment that you understandably have after being so sacrificial for so many years.

[@pattyhansen7563]

@@dumfriesspearhead7398 I agree. The counseling has helped our marriage, but I am finding that it is not really helping me, personally. I can recognize the sacrifices that my husband also had to make, but I don't think he feels as resentful, because he is more of a loner in general. I have tried to find some outside things but it often runs into the ground for one reason or another. it is a hard thing to sort out.

[@dre.ale.1191]

Bindi, I love your videos! Been binge watching for a bit now. Loved everything you said in this one, but wanted to say, I think it’s okay to not do something for yourself EVERY time your husband retreats to the man cave. It’s okay to allow our husbands the time to get away, while still doing things to serve him. For example, my husband loves to golf. I still choose to serve him while he’s gone by making a good meal, cleaning, etc. Just because our husbands are doing something for THEMselves, doesn’t necessarily mean we get to do something for OURselves. Sometimes that means mom-duties while the husband is golfing. But we must CHOOSE to not feel resentment during these times, but pray for our husbands while they recharge, and allow them to come home to a peaceful household, ready to serve as a father/husband again. Not saying that we can’t do things for ourselves like you mentioned in your video. Love all your content! Thanks for sharing!

[@saintamerican6105]

Im not that smart so i hope this makes sense LOL but.. This Man Psychology Observation can help so many women with men regardless of their faith beliefs, im praying that more men spend time with the LORD vs videogames or other unhealthy activities a faith filled man is pleasing to the Lord You’re so well spoken Bindi, i love the way you explain EVERYTHING ❤️❤️❤️

[@skyeempowered9725]

Most of the time I got offended....it's very hard to do this every single day but you're right!!!! My husband smokes n plays board games

[@simplywhittneyk]

This was explained very well. I realized this after years of getting it wrong, but still didn’t know how to articulate it this way, but these are facts! He seems much better when I keep my mental together and give him the space he needs to work through things. My husband uses remote control race cars to do this.

[@NeoMoses]

One thing I dislike is when ladies tell me, “men don’t play video games, do something else” it’s like why is this a problem and it helps me decompress, and make it seem like a addiction and it’s like irritating trying to downplay guys who work hard and think that’s bad. Men have options to decompress the life stress

[@Musie1U]

I wholeheartedly appreciate this video!

[@feminikapalmer2944]

Amazing

[@ashlynnspraise328]

This has been so eye opening and helpful on many levels.

[@realtorgiftee]

Very timely message! My husband is currently withdrawing from me..

[@kalonmontgomery8213]

I'm experiencing this, as well. It's rough.

[@realtorgiftee]

@@kalonmontgomery8213 me too! We can do this sister. Let's take this time for me time, or do something for our community or ourselves. And wait for our husbands until they will be okay.

[@Outdoor_Cycling_Adventures]

This is such a helpful video. I’ve been trying to communicate to my wife that when she dropped something on me that was so heavy, I just needed a moment - unfortunately for my 10years of marriage and 3 kids, she started having an affair of which I just found out a few months ago and it’s been going on for nearly a whole year! 😢 to say that I’m gutted is an understatement - but Proverbs 3:5,6 has been my strength & Therapy. 🙏🏾

[@glendockins1226]

Excellent !!!!! 💜

[@t.e.7112]

My man’s a sports man. I recently just started to understand this. Great video!

[@beauteafro-naturelle9206]

Very interesting content-Could you please do a video on non-emotionally available husbands

[@Search4Cherise]

I feel this very deeply as a wife to a full time medical school husband. He studies all the time. His focus is school. So that he can provide for our family in the future, & I can stay home. He will be in this “cave” for the first three years of our marriage. Just finished year 1 married, year 2 of medical school for him. He doesn’t have any way to really cope, self soothe, debrief or decompress, just studying studying studying right now. I want to invest in other relationships. But I don’t have any friends here yet. As I moved from SC to CA to marry him while he is finishing medical school. 🙃

[@myradiantreality]

God bless you. We have a neurologist at our church who married his wife while he was still in med school and he talks about this. With the help of Jesus his marriage made it through med school (he and his wife have been married over 40 years now). You will get through this. Hang in there and lean on Jesus. It’ll be worth it ♥️ may God bless your union and carry you two during this time.

[@Search4Cherise]

@@myradiantreality thank you for your encouragement! 💕🥹🙏🏿

[@islagoo]

This is SO HELPFUL! More, please!

[@tanishaquintana6925]

This video was so eye opening. Thank you so much please continue to make content like this. God bless you! ❤

[@Aliciae2009]

I love the dress just wish the were more affordable ❤😊

[@superdad1914]

You are so on point

[@nafesadixon8606]

This is really good information!!! Very much needed! Especially impart to the personality of a husband's expressive language regarding how he feels and how he moves and maneuvers, how he processes and finalize !! Sometimes I forgot men aren't always just simple regarding their thinking, but they just operate differently, and that a relationship is also this becoming one persona. It's not all about you but us. God bless you!

[@TheHomeschoolClassroom]

Such an amazing video 🥰 Mental health has been a huge struggle after two major life changes; becoming a mother and a wife. I absolutely love the encouragement. I am a housewife and homeschool mom of 6 children. I have had to tell my self over and over again how I am in the Lords will. God has already promised we would have joy in Him and tribulation in the world. I am learning how to have joy in my home so we can continue to be lights in the world 💡 🌍

[@myradiantreality]

I’m a homeschool mom of 6 expecting number 7 ♥️♥️ awesome for you!! great perspective to have!

[@TheHomeschoolClassroom]

@@myradiantreality so glad to meet you 👋🏾

[@rolmyholm]

This message came at the right time for me. God bless you bindi

[@Price8903]

I love how you added in your working out segments.

[@daniellevinson1122]

Thank you so much. This makes so much sense!! And it also shows I lean in when things are stressful instead of understanding my husband😅. It also puts a fire in me to understand more because I know fully that our relationship will get better as I accept and implement these things! I always take it personally and get very nervous that I did something wrong. But 100% men solve problems completely different. My husband is so competitive as well so I know that if he has a problem he’s taking it as seriously as possibly and putting as much energy into as needed to get it solved quickly. Thank you so so much. Learning so much!

[@rubytaylor2633]

Thank you for another great topic that needs to be addressed for us to have healthy and happy relationships with our spouses. I definitely did not understand this about my husband when we first got married. Following our husbands and pressuring them to talk doesn't improve communication but can literally kill it all together. If we allow him space to process he'll come around when he's ready. We have to "act like ladies, and think like men" Disclaimer: this is not a plug for the book/movie of the same name but it definitely applies to how understanding the way the opposite sex thinks is an asset to know how to love and respect them in a way they can appreciate and receive.😊

[@maymunamusa3328]

I came across your channel a few days ago and I leave every video with a broadened perspective. You are amazing at speaking through things, and I believe God has given you a special understanding of the most fundamental concepts of life that seem to be so forgotten these days. One question though, where'd you get that purple floral dress in 8:50?

[@jewelofortune]

Wow this video is right on time. Let me give my hubby a little time and pray for tha brother lol. Cause I must admit I’ve been feeling some kind of way

[@samanthagchere]

Wowww I'm so happy and grateful for the book review...bumped into the book sometime in 2020!...

[@chocolatesunflower2386]

Hi Bindi! Can you do a DITL vlog or a morning routine for a homemaker? I love this video. I had to understand this with my hubby for sure

[@Aliciae2009]

My husband man cave is KZbin 😂! Thanks for these points!!

[@RonishaTV]

As always sis, great video. So needed ❤❤

[@Yonnari_]

I would love to give my husband that downtime especially with his job but we don’t have much family help and this toddler stage has been very difficult with managing alone time with God, my son, giving him the attention he’s looking for, trying not to look a hot mess , and keeping up a household. I’m with my son 24/7 he’s still nursing too so he’s very clingy. Any tips on giving him space but also trying to get him to see hey I need help too bc there is no village

[@ladonnafrazier7752]

Beyond Mars and Venus helped me to understand myself and how I cope with the day. It's a good read and updated for our times. Would you do a study on this book too? I would love to hear your take away.

[@MRS.NKA.2024]

Also love the new camera & setup!

[@DanniMotif]

This is interesting. However my husband is the exact opposite when he debrief. He loves to talk it out but as for me I need the space and need to be alone. He tend to follow me around. For context we’ve been married for 16 years and this has always seemed to be the case. I find that I hear this a lot from other women but my issue is the opposite. He doesn’t play games or watch sports. He wants to just talk and I just want to be alone. Is this just me?

[@dumfriesspearhead7398]

No it isn't, but you're probably in a minority. When every self help book talks about women being the more social and connective ones, then it's not surprising you feel isolated. And as a wife needing that kind of time alone, it won't get the same kind of understanding and social acceptance. What I will say is, if you're open to it, is to learn an energy therapy such as EFT or EMDR. You can incorporate it into your prayers and will allow answers to come to you from a more authentic place.

[@ciew6197]

Hi Bindi, I think you would love the book (WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE INNER LIVES OF MEN) by Shaunti Feldhahn. .She has a chapter on what you were talking about called "checking out actually means checking in". I loved this book. Her husband also has a book on women for husbands called (A STRAIGHT FORWARD GUIDE TO THE INNER LIVES OF WOMEN) by Jeff Feldhahn also I loved this book too. I even learned some stuff about myself a chapter called "windows... open!" These are a must have for everyone who want to get along with the opposite sex, and is especially needed for married couples for success.

[@BQ900]

Some people shut down when they are criticized. A friend complained her husband won’t talk about his feelings. I tried to explain to her the model is Sarah & Abraham.

[@rmack3481]

Great Program Sister You are a very special Lady. I High Five Your Husband for being the person He was to have You fall in Love with him and be as understanding as You are. I watch Your videos because I thought all Great Women we're gone and would make You rarer than a Unicorn. I personally know where there's a half dozen Unicorns. May Our Heavenly Father give You and Your Husband a long life together with a half dozen grand children. Peace be with You always.. Much Respect to You both. R Mack An Elder also known as: R R

[@antonia5546]

This was timed very well 😂 but seriously tho, I always said my husband shuts down. I guess I should rephrase it but tbh things aren’t going well between us and Lord knows I’m trying my best to learn how He wants me to respond. I’ve been working with the Lord to learn what my role really is and how to act and think and overall be. It’s very hard and right now my husband doesn’t want to talk at all about pretty much everything, so some days I can find happiness and joy and some days I try to find joy but it’s more difficult and it’s such a fight with the flesh. I will take this and keep this in mind and pray over it and see how the Lord guides me with this new information. I’m also thinking of buying this book as well. I’m very careful with any book, secular or Christian and want to ensure it’s as close with scripture and what the Lord is ok with me reading and not learn unbiblical lessons and worldly ways. Thank you for your content. I really do believe the Lord is using you to help me become a better help meet and just a better mom and woman overall. Please know what you do is helping others and it’s very much appreciated and needed. God bless you and please continue the great work!

[@feminikapalmer2944]

If you don't mind, check out the book The Power of A Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. All I can say is God is so Good.

[@QweetWitFo]

An unloved wife why he pulls away ? But what if hes the one causing the pain is she supposed to sit back and say nothing while slowly dying in the insides and physically showing that for him to not pull away ?

[@hometowngirlncurls5669]

My husband has a personal man cave in our home where he can play videos, work out, or work on his tech. I took it personally as he didn't want to be around me but he needs that me time. His job is extremely stressful and demanding and he's also trying to change his career into the tech industry. So the time that he spends in there, I'll try to take a girls outside or to a park.

[@lm7141]

So excited..watching from work

[@shayla3020]

GREAT VIDEO..ALSO LOVE THE NEW CAMERA❤️

[@ebonymitchell6963]

My husband just likes to sit in silence, no phones, computers, or tv...just to decompress. He also likes to work out.

[@amandak1444]

Thank you for this ❤️ I needed to hear this.

[@motivationbynetseb]

Biblically speaking, men and women were created to partner with each other. The man should remember that God created the woman to be a helpmeet, so it is not unmanly to ask for help!

[@kemigisavictoria7285]

Thank you sis for this wisdom ❤❤

[@tinafreeman6245]

My problem is not coming back to resolve the problem. As if it will just go away.

[@Emily_Rudolph]

Who was at your door tho?!? 😂 great video and giving me some things to think about and consider.

[@tiashadae1143]

Insightful video, thank you!

[@kaylawilsonphoto]

Love your videos. Can you please do a book review on the Queen’s Code?