Men and Women Battlefields: Marriage, Family, and Other Failures

[@samvaknin]

Modern young women prefer LESS intelligent loser beta males for long-term relationships and increasingly also for casual sex. ALPHA MALES are losing out! www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/evolution/9295131/Why-women-prefer-weaker-men.html nypost.com/2018/08/22/men-can-be-too-smart-to-date/ onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/bjop.12342 greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_myth_of_the_alpha_male www.independent.co.uk/life-style/the-myth-of-the-alpha-male-a7724971.html

[@alexdawson7851]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/g4S1m5l_ediXgdk Sam within 24 hours of your last video the manosphere is beginning to theorise about your statements on betas.

[@marym897]

Sam Vaknin no way. Idiot meat is not acceptable. Some of us weirdos are attracted to the mind and heart.

[@David-ej1ps]

@@marym897 You weirdos are not the majority

[@BERESTARA]

Alpha males I met all have been married or in relationships:) not getting involved sorry ..

[@merillwalter8698]

@@vladivf No way do I want/need a man that doesn't express his true opinion or personality. I've been treated like an unequal by my last partner & there's no way I could or would treat anyone like I've been regardless of the way I was treated. I've always believed in fairness & equally for every single person. Regardless.

[@maritzakruger187]

Many people stay in bad marriages because of the shame of failure as well. What I have noticed over the years is people are lacking more self-control than ever. The blame of their bad choices are focussed externally, they don’t take responsibility for their choices. That combined with a lack of morals... we are doomed as a society. This is a very insightful and well explained video, thank you!

[@apollovr6744]

Yes! Goddamnit. why does no one see this??

[@daviding6963]

@@joanlynch5271 There is no such a thing as a "Liberal Family" because in reality men and women have not stoped getting together. The reality here is "Marriage" is a contract controlled by the state, and the Democrats in the state have forced both genders to navigate around the garbage they have artificially erected in Law. The answer seems simple to me, crack down on Social Democrats/Communist/Liberals and eradicate them out of positions of power.

[@gauravpatley8919]

Very few people stay in abusive relationship . Moreover abusive relationship are very less

[@humanearthling4661]

I recognized you years ago as one of the best advisors on KZbin. I own at least three of your books and refer to them often. Undoubtedly, THE reason your videos have been deleted from KZbin IS BECAUSE what you say about narcissism is so right on true THAT your viewers learn how to recognize them. Many narcissists hold positions high in government and other corporations. I will surely seek out and bookmark your alternative channel. Thank you for being so informative...

[@samvaknin]

Only my COVID-19 vids were deleted. My COVID-19 videos are available here now: kzbin.info (World in Conflict and Transition)

[@humanearthling4661]

@@samvaknin --- Thank You!

[@SayedSalimSadatmawdodi]

Thank you Sam! I love to listen to your videos. It helps me to understand how it feels to be old in age, but a child mentally or to be around people who act like a baby child. It is a nightmare experience. Your videos help me to step up and move out of stupid- adult- childish circles to adulthood ways. Thanks Sam.

[@hopemadison3241]

I just love listening to you these days Sam. The expression that you've added gives much clarity, so much more eloquent. Genius

[@sharonjudd7786]

I love u Sam for giving me the clarity........u are the only real one out there regarding narcissists.

[@seriouscat2231]

But when it comes to understanding society or human nature, he is a disaster, unable to tell what exactly is and is not the problem.

[@seriouscat2231]

Actually, his problem is that in his world there are no sane or healthy persons, but everyone is somehow broken or distorted.

[@susanhenderson4528]

I absolutely can relate to, and understand, much of this. I have lived through the stifling fifties, and somewhat stifling sixties; and then came the seventies awakening. Now - the two thousands! It seems as though anything goes these days. I would love to have been a financially independent woman. It was not very common in my day. Women were kept/pushed down (suppressed) in most instances into a subserviant role. Even my own father planted the subserviant seed into me. "Oh no, you won't be going to university like the boys. It's a waste of time and money to send a girl to university. Girls get married and become housewives." I kid you "not". He actually said this to me as a young child, and I have always remembered it. This was the prevailing attitude of the time (1950's/1960's) amongst many men. Having to depend on someone else pretty much for your very exixtence can be very stifling, demeaning, unsettling and destabilising, let alone demoralising. The person with the money has the power in a relationship; and often can and does (not necessarily always) treat the the financially dependant person however they wish. This has certainly been my experience; and from my observations, is still happening in the present. The past was no exception - even worse, as most women had far less power and opportunity. Why utube would pull any of this down is beyond me. Don't they like the "truth"? of this. Spot on in my opinion.

[@samvaknin]

They deleted only my COVID vids. The videos are available here now: kzbin.info (World in Conflict and Transition)

[@MrRogertennis]

The person who has the power is the person who "loves the least."

[@adriantepesut]

Perhaps this trend will inevitably continue but if men ever gain power again I will remember just how cruel and irresponsible women were and will revel in their repression Sexual liberation + technology has made women excessively cruel and exploitative towards men so I will remember how they abused and/or neglected me and I will enjoy making them suffer for the sake of it if something ever happens to shift the power balance back in favor of men, who are at least capable of empathy towards the other sex

[@Lola-mt1ne]

Being a fan of Sam Vatkins's way of speaking, I find this piece both comprehensive and informative. Thank you for your contribution.

[@ReservedInvestments]

You are 100% correct here. As a high value male in my early 40's and dating, most women I date do not want or need to be dependent on me. Most of these high value women make six figures or more per year and are able to maintain their looks well into their late 40's or early 50's. The Alpha vs Beta (male) debate has been too nuanced by so called PUAs and insecure men trying to think they know how to act to attract some of these women who most likely have no interest in them. The KZbin 'manosphere' is actually doing more damage to these men than society and sadly, few understand it. Thank you for shining a FACTUAL light on these issues.

[@GJS-live]

"As a high-value male" Do you mean you are 'rich'?

[@leefray973]

Reserved Investments Well you definitely never met me because I’ve been looking for a high value man to depend on for 15 years and can’t find one lol. I work a basic job nothing fancy. My question is why do you want them dependent on you? I thought men didn’t want gold diggers.

[@auaticamazon]

Be The Change You Want Most women that age dont want a 40 year old guy

[@janicegeorge-allen1924]

Brilliant Sam Vaknin. Thank you ,so much makes total sense here...

[@icazocaoo7]

This is the greatest lecture ever and one hour and a half of my life spent in the best possible way.

[@ozol33]

Those opening remarks and the humour 😍🤩 always looking forward to each new one

[@johnhigson6206]

Have not males (alpha;beta;whateva), historically, failed to value the 'female principle'? Thus, unpopular, it has vanished and all the world is the less for it. Everything is a great dance of self-centered fear (narcissism)

[@lea-andromeda-sol2333]

Exactly

[@rmercedes971]

Sad but true 😔

[@republicofjupiter]

@@cjlooklin1914 very insightful comment 👌🏻

[@seriouscat2231]

Could you give any definition for this "female principle"? What does it mean, what it is, how does it operate? Or does every attempted description always end up parodying it or making fun of it?

[@magdalena4683]

Most modern women want beta males so they can control every aspect of the relationship and have a submissive orbital spouse. Currently, women are responsible for earning a primary household income, housework, and child-raising duties. Better to have a nonargumentative beta male to assist in their modern overabundance of responsibilities. What's astounding to me is that it seems many modern women prefer more of a traditional wedding when marrying. For example, the father walking the daughter down the aisle and going on to take the man's last name. However, within the dynamics of the marriage, the modern woman wholly "owns" the beta male husband while dominating the relationship. I wonder if and when the traditional structure of the marriage ceremony will transition. I think many women continue with the wedding traditions because they're conditioned to do so through marketing and desiring a fairytale wedding. They just don't question it.

[@GJS-live]

" Better to have a nonargumentative beta male to assist in their modern overabundance of responsibilities" A 'Man-Maid' :)

[@magdalena4683]

@@GJS-live Exactly! They're Man-Maids. Going to start using this terminology : )

[@GJS-live]

@@magdalena4683 It was 'man-made', by a man :)

[@angelika87]

and these Man Maids tend to look utterly ghastly --like they never known the touch of a woman and never will despite being married. I can believe those relationships are sexless. I couldn't do it. I enjoy sex and attractive men too much to go along with that program.

[@LightFoam]

You provide so much value. Thank you. Chipping away at this fantastic playlist. Bought all your books too. Thank you professor

[@szomnambul]

The sex and new york film series that tried to symbolize female freedom in four characters , one of them was shopaholik the other was nymphomaniac , the third was workaholics and the fourth was infantile . What a freedom !

[@elainelapides9545]

Hi Sam I have been an individual. Couple's and Family therapist for years. I have enjoyed and gained great insight from your videos. This one on Couple's was no exception. However when all is said which is not possible the face remains and you know this the strength of a society depends on parents creating a loving secure safe family to grow up in. Unfortunately you did not experience this and you never raised a child. There is no substitute for a loving wise mom and dad period. We are vulnerable creatures when we are growing up and need security within our family. Take Care Sam. P.S. I have quite a story to share with you re the narcissist. My story could create your next book. Elaine

[@gabrielabarsan5168]

You are the best Sam! I enjoyed this very very much!

[@renatak5680]

Amazing content. Brilliant presentation. I enjoyed every minute of it. Thank you!

[@roxolanathor48]

Let’s have 100000 subscribers soon! Sam , you look dashing today!

[@tanyasingh4225]

That’s because Sam doesn’t have his glasses on. 🥰

[@avisjohnson35]

I know 3 people who have incredible marriages over 30 years. They do not cheat either partner. One is my brother, 1 is my sister. They married incredible people that are committed. I do think Israel and another couple is my boss and her husband. It is amazing, but it does exist and work well. I don't know what they have that makes it work but it does

[@AAMichael13]

The best route for men and alphas in particular is to work on yourself and to just leave women alone. Be but a mysterious fantasy to them and keep moving.

[@rachelbennett1194]

If you decide to give up.

[@rachelbennett1194]

I don’t think that comes off as a mysterious fantasy by the way.

[@dapsolita]

Any one else ready to exit Kali Yuga?🙄

[@thestriker269]

The Kali Yuga narrative is a total farce spread by the spiritual narcissistic cabbal know as Brahmanism/Brahmanwaad on the inhabitants of India subjugating and enmeshing them to a religious core identity whose preface was created only to gain political will and control over the general en masse.

[@auaticamazon]

I dont want an alpha male because i dont to be controlled . I do have my own career and home etc. i can date younger men if I want Dont need to be married again

[@Elina_M2k]

The existential crisis after watching this had me sitting on the kitchen floor contemplating everything... "The Vaknin strikes again" hahahah. Brilliant lecture from a brilliant mind. Thank you endlessly for sharing your wisdom with us mere mortals. With the year slowly coming to a close, and Thanksgiving on the way, I am immensely grateful that the universe, determinism, the mixture of a logical curiosity following a near-deadly entanglement with a narcissist combined with pure luck, put your channel on my radar this year at the inarguably darkest time of my life. The mere fact that you choose to live and inspire despite your intimate knowledge of and experience with mental illness and your view of most of them as 'incurable,' and your generally objective outlook on life (and how cruel most aspects of existence are) keep me going at my lowest of lows. Thank you for all that you do for your own satisfaction which coincidentally results in our 'enlightenment'.

[@adriantepesut]

It’s so difficult to find people capable of correctly analyzing the relationship between men and women as the conflict of two conflicting, ultimately irreconcilable, aggregate wills which fight for influence over society And I’ve been yearning to hear someone give some kind of stimulating antithesis to the red pill narrative which is now so simplified and commercialized due to lack of intelligent opponents Im still watching the video but so far it seems I’ve finally found something actually interesting on this subject

[@vaibhavdwivedi8860]

You sir are amazing.♥️

[@alexisabercrombie53]

Unbelievable... How very much can be said of these individuals. Almost a shame such intelligence is wasted on them

[@candacecooper7688]

That was spot on...I came up with the idea "term limit marriages" about 25 years ago... totally believe in it.

[@samvaknin]

I beat you by 10 years ..:o)) First suggested it in 1983. Good idea!

[@EllBe63]

@@samvaknin l also put a term on relationships and marriages back in the early 90s. I read an article in the Telegraph magazine and it all made complete sense. So when l married for the second time, l knew it wouldn't be forever and once the cracks started to appear, l took note, tried to repair. But l knew it was over and l got out sooner rather than later. No resentment and after the personal and assett dividing stuff, we remain in 'some kind' of friendship. I now date occasionally, but am mostly happy and l fully understand your essay. Thank you for this, brilliant piece of work. Unfortunately, imo majority of the population are sleepwalkers and would probably disagree. Thanks Sam

[@candacecooper7688]

Thanks for your honesty Sam...I have gotten so much from your videos... and I like your intro;)

[@rachelbennett1194]

Y’all are both idiots! (Joke) Haha time limited marriage is not a good idea. It’s too contractual and unromantic from a woman’s point of view. Mine at least…So unromantic.

[@runwiththewind3281]

Professor Vaknin, thank you.

[@Giyuo]

*coughs* “Not Covid, I swear!” XD

[@jamesbra4410]

It's actually pretty amazing to observe what most men have descended into. Women on the other hand have ascended into the driving force of the society. Men largely are rendered defunct by the society and all the previous culture of empowering males has switched to empowering women. Men have become these withdrawn shells that engulf themselves in a world of technological fantasy and food. Meanwhile, you have more women going to college and more women getting hired into middle class jobs. Not surprising that white women choosing to date non-white partners is increasing.

[@bronwynpinette1189]

You must have really pissed off the Cabal since they are removing your Covid-19 videos! Thank you, Sam!

[@samvaknin]

The videos are available here now: kzbin.info (World in Conflict and Transition)

[@dariendavis5878]

Dr. Vaknin, despite all that you have identified in your content, is there any hope for the future generations to change what is happening today with marriage and the inevitable rise of malignant narcissism? Will we see a return to the traditional way of family values and cultural/community service? I am of the opinion that societies with too much freedom of choice are doomed to fail and are to be replaced with tradition by nature. If you have any specific videos or articles regarding solutions to this, could you point me in the right direction? Thanks for all that you do.

[@marym897]

Good introduction. You are so funny.

[@trevorwest3457]

One thing everyone fails to take into account in comparing the past to now is that of medical care, especially in birthing. Women (and many children used to die in childbirth), meaning women were of far more value to men than children (losing children was common)... it was women and children first in that order... this mode of thinking is now obsolete; changes in the roles were inevitable. The self-sufficient lifestyle is better, other than the lure of conditioned emotional belonging women provoke in men through sex, men have always been chasing that freedom for themselves. Women may struggle with chasing the same self-sufficiency, especially as government provision/ protection becomes diminished. Looks like humanity will find out over the next few generations.

[@yeni1600]

Both men and women can choose and not feel used...it's up to the individual

[@apollovr6744]

So is a normal, traditionally-minded, masculine man like myself completely screwed in pursuit of a traditional family? Sam are you saying I should completely give up or meet into an emasculated simp? I can confirm these trends in my dating life. What the hell am I to do?

[@angelika87]

Whatever you do never stop being a masculine, traditional man. Just give up the family part (unless you happen to find that rare woman). Have a harem of women instead. I recommend Caleb Jones aka Blackdragon.

[@rachelbennett1194]

You don’t have to give up the family part. There are still women who are feminine and prefer to be homemakers. Not many, but I would not suggest a “harem of women”. You don’t want a harem. You want that one woman that will be your wife.

[@paulagratefulnoend9683]

Now that we Love, Look at the Moonless night and tell me...how do we make LOVE stay. ~Dan Fogleberg

[@sydelectric4878]

To find a new Nietzsche. A new niche. A new corner

[@johnpedersen6390]

It is quite unsavory . . .

[@NurNur-ks7ok]

ow Iam happy now as single mom than before, cos I know who I am and like be alone than together with "crazy mind" peoples..but if I meet my "mirrror" I so much happy till end no end

[@tonrah9109]

Funny I started throwing around the theory, of marriages being contractual like leases about a year-and-a-half ago. Hummm?

[@ninarusic7639]

Oh yeah, I’m going to spend this evening with a narcissist,and you don’t have the power to take that plan away from me 🍷🍷🍷

[@leefray973]

I haven’t gotten a chance to watch in entirety yet but I would be interested in knowing the statistics of if marriage is declining in religious men and women. For example, I’m Catholic and you won’t find any single people when you go to Mass. you will see typical two parent households with 4-6 kids. Just curious if you have studied if there are differences between marriage rates declining because those people do not belong to any religion?

[@samvaknin]

Yes, marriage rates are declining more precipitously and divorce rates are higher among non-religious people, who practice no institutional faith (i.e., the majority of the world's population).

[@yeni1600]

What comes around goes around..

[@simonroome5858]

Tough? Get over it. Adapt.

[@synterr]

I think that antinatalism is the only solution here.

[@b-rainwash410]

I watched twice

[@brooklynp2108]

Legions of sex starved individuals roam the streets 🤪😂 LOVE IT.

[@movil3319]

Mr Vaknin. There is a healthy psicológical way to have a group in which there are free sexual relationship and also a cohesive group with no dominance relations? I mean a horizontal relationship between them...

[@laurenceoconnor9299]

True. 😁

[@JS-ce6mn]

Wauw wauw wauw, verslind elke KZbin film. Snap nog steeds maar een deel, mede omdat ik de terminologie in het Engels Onvoldoende beheers, zo jammer ! Heeft iemand, ooit, ergens een vertaling in het Nederlands kunnen ontdekken ? Wil tevens graag weten of u nauwelijks of niet voor een monogame relatie bent…..

[@emdc1231]

Adopt. 👌

[@alexisabercrombie53]

Adapt