GENDER DISAPPOINTMENT | My Experience + What Helped Me | Sarah Brithinee

[@teddy-8408]

I just found out I’m having a girl yesterday and I wanted a boy in the worst way and it felt like my dreams got shattered. Everyone is making me feel guilty about it because I wasn’t jumping for joy. I obviously want a healthy and happy baby. But I’m in the middle of trying to wrap my head around this

[@kellyv4595]

Wanna trade? XD

[@halimakimathi4189]

I'm having a son, and because I hate my dad, was raped and was raised with 5 sisters. I desperately wanted a girl. I'm not sure if I want to abort... but i do know I wanted a daughter-_-

[@nooberbutter]

@@halimakimathi4189 if it's any comfort, your son won't have anything to do with your father and his evil character. He will be your perfect little baby and I'm sure you'll love him the most in the world. Plus you may have a daughter later in your life if you are planning to have more kids❤

[@halimakimathi4189]

@Elisabet Vainionpää your absolutely right! Thank you so much, that was much needed healing right their 😇🥰 ty♡

[@IamaproudChristian22]

@@halimakimathi4189 Don't abort just based on gender. Killing a baby just because it's a boy is not the answer. Your son will probably be beautiful and sweet if you raise him with love. Jesus is coming back. Have faith in Him alone to be saved. Believe Jesus died for your sins and rose again then repent if you seek salvation.

[@andrew91dawg]

I have four boys. I can 100% understand where you are coming from. I have cried every single time that I found out. All I have to say.... is anyone who shames you for wanting one gender or another... hasn’t genuinely felt those feelings of gender disappointment. I felt like I was grieving the loss of a child that didn’t exist. I promise you that it does get EASIER but it doesn’t seem like it at the time...

[@SarahBrithinee]

Thank you so much for this! It's definitely something that seems really hard to understand unless you've experienced it. I can't wait to meet this little one and I know he's perfect for me so I'm sure those feelings will multiply when he's here!

[@noelsangel20]

I am getting my „4th“ boy as well and I am so devestated! The dream of a daughter has finally come to an end 😥

[@kalalily87]

For me it’s never gotten easier and he is a year old. I love my son beyond measure, he means everything to me and I’m so grateful for him but I’m still upset and sad about not having a girl🤷🏼‍♀️ It pops up every now and then and I feel like crying. There are things I know I’ll never get to do.

[@luckyreddy360]

I have four girls and want a son

[@oceandweller2314]

you are so pathetic.

[@genevievermore7930]

I’m 24 weeks and we waited a long while to find out. We didn’t get to have our anatomy ultrasound until 21 weeks and then we waited a week and a half to have a gender reveal party that I sorta didn’t want in the first place (but the idea grew on me). Everyone we knew showed up and it turns out I’m having a boy, so I had to fake happy for the whole rest of the party and then through dinner with my boyfriend’s family where they were all talking about how excited they all are and how they “knew it” and wanted a boy the whole time. I bawled my eyes out the whole ride home alone and have struggled since. My boyfriend wanted a boy but was ambivalent either way, and he’s been wonderful and kind about my feelings, but I just cannot help myself. A lot of women I know are pregnant right now and all but one are having girls and I can’t help but feel that childish “that’s so unfair” feeling that they all get to have what I wanted. I guess I need to figure out the root cause of my sadness so I can work through it, but it’s been difficult for sure. I live in a very small apartment, so it’s not like I can “plan a nursery to get excited” either.

[@cbotto95]

Going through this exact situation myself. So many people are having girls and I have prayed so hard for a girl. I just feel like God is so distant and doesn’t hear me. Makes me so incredibly sad that I don’t have a girl. I just want one so bad. It’s all my heart desires. I feel so disconnected and unhappy.

[@joyt.3982]

I relate to this so much. I sobbed when I found out my second child was a boy. After two difficult pregnancies, I knew we were done. I have always been so close to my mother & wanted a relationship like that. As a silver lining, it has made me so much closer to my mother-in-law. She also two sons, so I have a new appreciation for what it means to be a good daughter-in-law.

[@SarahBrithinee]

Aww that's amazing that you've bonded with her in a different way! Who knows, maybe you'll have amazing daughters-in-law one day too!

[@blackglitter1474]

Everyone in the family has male and female babies. I would be really happy to have 2 boys but I already know that the people around us are going to make us feel inferior. I already have a friend hoping I get a girl just like her. Girls are very popular in the family. The adult female are very nasty too so I know what's coming my way...

[@hollygrail2964]

I’m going through that today as well. I have a 3 year old boy and i was just told I’m having another boy and i can’t stop crying, i wish they were tears of joy but sadly they are tears of disappointment. I wanted a girl so bad. I’m 38 and i don’t know if will get pregnant again. I was hoping for a girl so bad…. I’m just so sad…. And i even feel sad about feeling sad because i know I should be grateful for having a healthy baby…. It’s just disappointing 😔

[@joyt.3982]

@@hollygrail2964 Mom guilt is real. I don’t know if you’re a believer or not, but I firmly believe God gives us exactly what we are supposed to have. I love my boys & have come to the realization that there’s no chance I could be closer to a girl than I am to my boys. My boys are now 18 & 20, dating girls I adore, & still Mama’s boys. Allow yourself to grieve, but know that everything works out as it should. I’m praying for you.

[@hollygrail2964]

@@joyt.3982 wow Thank you, thank you! I really needed your words of wisdom! You speak so beautiful of having two boys it gives me joy and hope! I am a believer and I thank God for everything, for my healthy boy, for your kind words and prayers 🙏 From the bottom of my heart, I thank you and I pray fro the well being of you and your family! ❤️ Blessings ✨✨✨

[@blueladybug4767]

I love that you shared this. Mom's are always shamed on having a gender preference but men are always encouraged to want boys, sadly some men get shamed for wanting girls but that's another story. Thank you for sharing.

[@SarahBrithinee]

So true. It's so interesting how that works. I think we all need to normalize our feelings around everything and give everyone the space to grieve, feel safe, and be accepting even if we don't understand.

[@green_hedger_68]

Absolutely opposite.

[@НиколаЂорђевић-х3м]

Men are not encouraged to want boys.

[@heidim-w1750]

My son is 31 and my best friend - I never imagined that would happen. I promise you, one day you will absolutely love saying the words "my son".

[@MeaganNoelleP]

I just had my first boy 2 weeks ago. I really had a hard time wrapping my head around a boy after our gender reveal. Now that he is here... I can’t imagine life without my little boy

[@SarahBrithinee]

That's so incredible! I already can't imagine not having this little guy and he's not even here yet so I know it'll be multiplied once he's in my arms 🤍 Congrats on your little one!

[@jenfiles437]

From a Mom of 3 boys I think you are going to be so so so surprised how much little boys love their Mommy! It is truly a bond like no other. I come from a family of ALL girls so I understand wanting a daughter. However with my 3 boys my heart is so full and there is no doubt we are just as close as I am with my Mom. My oldest is 21 and in the Navy. He still calls me 28473 times a day lol!!! 💙

[@SarahBrithinee]

Oh my gosh I love that! I hope this little guy still calls me all the time when he's 21! That's the cutest thing ever 🤍 I'm really excited to be a boy mom now and am so relieved I was able to get through the disappointment before he got here.

[@jpichet6999]

Sounds like the son that called “28473 times a day” might have some severe and unhealthy attachment. That’s not something to be proud about.

[@Nina-fi1tx]

@@jpichet6999 sounds like unhealthy attachment from both sides… but who are we to judge as we don’t know anyones situation. It does sound a bit strange

[@KateBerry]

I love this, just found out I’m pregnant with my 3rd boy, this comment made me tear up xxx

[@erikaw8042]

Gender disappointment isn't child disappointment ❤️

[@amandaporterme]

Your honesty is very refreshing! Thank you for being open and creating an open space for other moms to not feel shame what they may be feeling, but are too afraid to share.

[@SarahBrithinee]

That's exactly why I shared. It's important to let people feel their feelings without feeling ashamed of them. If my experience can help someone else have some hope then awesome. I'm just happy to be on the other side of this now and am SO excited to meet my little guy 🤍

[@oliviasittauer5366]

Thank you for sharing! We did an early at home gender test at 8 weeks and it said girl and I was over the moon for the exact reasons you said. We named her, bought her clothes, and I was so connected to her. We had our 20 week ultrasound this week and found out we’re actually having a boy. I’m completely devastated and grieving the loss of my daughter. I appreciate you sharing this because I do have a lot of guilt for being so upset. I relate to a lot of the worries you mentioned so it’s nice to feel validated that someone else understands. I know it’ll change over time and I’ll fall in love with this little boy soon.

[@slim_stinaxoxo8226]

Just found out I’m having another boy. & the sadness is overwhelming. I’m glad I’m not alone in the guilty feeling.

[@Esh486]

Your son and your future kids are so blessed to have an honest and open mama, who will teach them how important it is to talk about ALL their feelings and that all feelings are valid.

[@SarahBrithinee]

Thank you so so much for saying that 🤍 Some of the comments have made me question if I should've posted this video, but I think it's an important topic and if my experience can help someone else going through it then it was worth it.

[@jenn0128]

@@SarahBrithinee don't question it. You did what you did for a reason and there's nothing wrong with that! Your feelings are valid and real, and like you said these are things that aren't ever talked about it so you never know who you are reaching!

[@Esh486]

@@SarahBrithinee I am not a mom yet, hopefully I'll get to be (pray for me), but as an empath I feel like I get you. You are raw and real, and it's so refreshing when it seems like so many people only want to talk about butterflies and rainbows. People go through a lot of emotions, and I'm sure many people feel exactly like you, it's just not talked about enough.

[@TuNenalinda08]

Hi Sarah, I am currently going through this. I already have a daughter and it was really hard to raise her as a single mom at that time. I have dreamed of having a boy since I was younger. I am now on my second trimester and I just found out this past Friday that I am having another girl. I could not stop crying, I was in my room feeling depress for 2 days being angry at God and feeling like I was a horrible person for feeling this way. My husband could not understand why I was feeling this way specially because is his first child which it made me feel worse about myself. I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your heart and your testimony. I knew I needed help to get through this and God placed you in this hard time of my life. It may sound selfish but I truly just feel a sense of relief knowing that is normal to go through gender disappointment and that I am not alone and most importantly to know that it is possible to get through this and love my child like they should be loved. Thank you and Godbless you!

[@iulia3616]

I am in exactly situation but with girl#4...i always wanted to be a boy mama,so i.m still in shock,i can.t believe this is happen to me

[@caffeinatednaf1962]

I understand. Currently going through this right now. It’s okay to feel this way

[@green_hedger_68]

Same.

[@Allie-lk2bv]

Gender disappointment is so real… I just pound out I’m about to have my 3rd boy yesterday… and it feels like I just keep being let down. I always visioned myself having a daughter to bond with and now it just feels like that will never happen for me… idk maybe I’ll try for another. I love the boys I already have and I wouldn’t want to change anything about them. This time I just really thought this would be the one and that I would be done having babies… but I’m honestly just so determined to have a girl… next time I’m thinking of doing IVF just to kinda ensure that I finally get a girl… expensive but sounds worth it.

[@Killjoy_Mel]

What would you do if your daughter turns out to be a tomboy who likes trucks, trains, slimy critters, and cares not for whatever the hell it is that you associate with 'daughters'?

[@Allie-lk2bv]

@@Killjoy_Mel I liked those things as a child. Most kids like trucks, trains, and slimy critter’s regardless of whether they are a boy or girl. I still want a daughter. I don’t think you understand.

[@lorihill4411]

I totally felt this! My first is a boy, and I wanted a girl so bad, mostly due to the name we picked out and what that meant to me. It was hard, bc I had personal friends go through infertility and I felt terrible for feeling terrible. The first time I laid eyes on my beautiful boy, I fell so in love that I never thought twice about wanting a girl. I did go on to have his sister 4 years later. ❤️ I love the older brother protection and relationship they have. It’s perfect 😍

[@lorihill4411]

Also just wait til the first time he picks a flower and says “here mommy” your heart is going to MELT ☺️

[@SarahBrithinee]

Oh my gosh that is the sweetest thing ever. I can't wait for moments like those. You're totally valid in your feelings. Everyone struggles with something and it's not a competition. Some people struggle with fertility, pregnancy depression/anxiety, gender disappointment, PP depression, etc. They can't be compared to each other because every person's journey is different 🤍

[@johntracy72]

You got your baby girl after all. Awesome.

[@zeesoori1552]

I’m 13. Weeks pregnant with a baby boy. Until now I had no idea that such a thing (gender disappointment) existed. Now I have a feeling that my baby girl dream is not coming true and it hurts. The worst thing is that all people around me loving girls and I become a lot of pitying and no one can just pretend that a boy is also lovely! Ur courage to talking about this taboo is impressive! And it helps to know you are not alone!

[@daphnemooney6602]

I always thought I wanted a girl, God gifted me with two wonderful boys and I have never missed having a girl. My second pregnancy was so different I thought for sure I was having a girl,we did not find out ahead of time so I was pretty surprised when HE was born, surprised but not disappointed. Being a boy mom is awesome! You will see when he arrives it really doesn’t matter their gender, you will just love them so much.

[@rushainec2477]

❤️❤️❤️

[@caitiecatcreates]

I just found out that I'm having a boy from gender testing. I never thought of myself as a boy mom and I had all these plans for a girl. I feel so crushed. Thank you for this video. I needed this. I'm calling to get into a therapist tomorrow so I can navigate this and overcome it so I can give the love my baby boy deserves.

[@emilye.8779]

Thank you for sharing. I’m on the opposite end. I just found out I’m having a girl when i really wanted a boy so badly. Feeling that disappointment and shame. I hope you’re doing well.

[@ReneeBachmann]

I think it's so awesome that you're willing to be honest! There should be no negativity around honesty. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. My relationship with my SWEET 3 sons and my "tomboy" daughter is amazing! I wouldn't change a thing!

[@SarahBrithinee]

That's amazing! Everyone has said that as soon as you hold your baby those feelings go away, but I'm happy mine went away before he's here 💗 Now I just can't wait to meet him and get to know him!

[@watermelongal5512]

Thank you so much for being so open and honest with us. Coming from a culture that highly value boys, my culture believes you're the luckiest person. I've taken care of my nephew from the time he was born till now and he's the sweetest little boy. Whichever gender my future baby is going to be I don't know but I think the best thing to think is that you will love your baby. I am so glad you're understanding so much. Thank you so much for reassuring everyone that they are not alone.

[@SarahBrithinee]

I do know this little one is perfect for me so I am the luckiest person! That's amazing that you care for your nephew and he's so sweet 🤍

[@geraldine645]

I think it's important to talk about something like this because I'm sure so many people have felt the same but just never wanted to say it out loud for fear that they'd be judged or just be dismissed

[@SarahBrithinee]

Absolutely. These topics need a space and if my experience helps someone else then that's wonderful. I just am so happy to be on the other side of it and can't wait to meet my little guy 🤍

[@sheap3871]

I just got the news I’m having a girl. I have twin girls and this one was is my last. I wanted a boy we had his name picked out for years. I’m very distraught. I’m happy she is healthy but I’m soo sad! I’m so emotional right now.

[@livieperfetto7280]

I’m so glad you shared your story , this really really helped me . I’m in tears right now because sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with this. I appreciate you posting this ❤

[@shanashumate977]

Thank for you for sharing. You are helping other mama's feel less alone. ❤ I had a son first, and he is such a mama's boy. He has been since the minute he was born. We have such a close relationship and I wouldn't change it for the world. I had my daughter almost 9 years later.

[@SarahBrithinee]

Aww that's amazing 🤍 I hope this little one is a mama's boy too! I'm going to soak in allll the cuddles he'll give me!

[@lec530]

I love so much that you are talking about such important struggles with pregnancy. This is so real!! I have 2 kids, and we didn’t find out gender with either until birth. Our first was a girl, so I was hoping for a boy the second time because I knew my husband wanted a boy, I had always imagined having one of each, and I was scared my husband would want to try for a third and I wanted to be done after 2. So as soon as she was born I was felt disappointment and panic. NOW I wouldn’t change it for anything. I think it’s just what you said - you have this initial idea about something and when it goes differently than you “planned” (for us over planners....) you do have a grieving process. But it’s grieving the “plan” you had rather than being ungrateful for what you have! You are amazing! ❤️

[@SarahBrithinee]

Thanks girl! You're absolutely right. We all deserve the space to grieve in our own ways. I'm thankful that I know this little one is perfect for me. If we're able to have another one than who knows what they will be. Right now, I'm ok being a boy mom & plan to be attached at the hip with this little guy!

[@sharonfantastic17]

I'm so glad you shared your honesty on this subject. There's so many women who deny having gender disappointment and it's so refreshing to see someone on KZbin validate their feelings. My first baby was a girl. My second baby was a boy. I wanted a second girl so bad! I have a close relationship with my twin sister, and so I'm thinking that's why I had gender disappointment--(because I wanted my daughter to experience what it's like to have a sister just like me). I cried a few times and actually got depressed, and then I began to feel bad and ashamed for having those feelings. I was nervous that my baby inside could sense my sadness and disappointment! My son is now 4 years old, and we have a closer relationship than I do with my daughter who is 6. I just feel like I can connect with him more. I'm not saying that this will be a similar situation for you, but I just wanted to share that my situation turned from a negative into a positive--(and hopefully yours will too!). My son will always be my Squishy Squish.

[@freespiral]

Thank you for sharing. I have been too scared to show how disappointed I am over finding out that I'm having (another) boy because "as long as baby is healthy" and "there are many couples who struggle to conceive" etc. I'm working through it and I think part of why I wanted a girl so very badly is because I wanted to name her after my grandmother. I believe dealing with my grandmother's passing and finding another way to honour her will resolve the disappointment for me. I am also apprehensive of having to raise two boys because it feels like double the trouble but I feel chosen to be their mom and believe I wouldn't have been given these boys if I weren't capable of raising them.

[@92spice18]

I’m watching this the day after our gender reveal. I didn’t throw a tantrum or anything I just was in shock but happy for my husband because he wanted a boy. I realized in the middle of the night while talking to Jesus that I was heart broken. My reasons for wanting a girl are similar to the reasons you had. Except my reason was because my mom and I are so different and she tried so hard to make me more like her. She really crushed me growing up. I wanted a girl so that I can give a little girl space to be her own while teaching her the things my mom never taught me like self care, femininity, hygiene etc. While watching this video my husband came downstairs and heard you speaking and asked “are you still upset about that”, as if we didn’t find out just yesterday afternoon. I’m going to have to tell him how insensitive that comment was. I feel like I’m grieving another maybe (this is our rainbow baby). The messages from people saying boys love their moms so much actually makes my stomach churn. It’s not a happy feeling for me. Boys love their moms but I’ve learned that the love is more transactional…like men in general. I will have to teach my son that loving women should not require that they do “mom-like” things for you like cooking and cleaning. Also, I’m dealing with crazy boy mom issues with my mother in law and I just don’t want to be like her when my son grows up and gets married.

[@GinaBS]

thanks for sharing this

[@kylissasimmons342]

I’m sorry to hear that. I’m currently 17 weeks and just found out I’m having a boy as well. It’s hard for my fiancé and I as well cus we did want a girl too. I know that can be hard hearing it’s a girl and then next appt it’s actually not. I know that was probably a roller coaster emotions. And I’m sorry you had to deal with judgement from your family

[@GinaBS]

@@kylissasimmons342 Hi! Thanks for your nice words. Yes, I needed time to process it, thankfully my husband has been an Angel the whole time. Now our boy is 10 months old and we love him to the moon and back. He's amazing 😊 You get over gender disappontment at one point, every parent needs their own time and space.

[@johntracy72]

Was the baby a boy or girl? I knew someone who's friend was told 4 times during her first pregnancy that she was having a girl and imagine her surprise when the baby was born and it was a boy instead.

[@shulamisleder568]

I have 2 sons and another boy on the way. Thank you so much for coming out and discussing the dark side of gender disappointment. I found out a month ago and I've cried almost every night. But the getting to the real reason is the only way to sort out these feelings. I wanted a girl so badly because of 3 things. 1. I wanted my daughter to live a better version of life than what I had. I really wanted her to have a better education and a loving family which I never had. I went to a public school with terrible test scores and really didn't learn much nor did my parents do any involvement in my childhood. My mother was a depressed woman who slept 16 hours a day and watched soap operas and only got up to warm tv dinners. So in my mind if I had a daughter I could put her in the best school and have a big loving functional family. 2. I am *still to this day* terrified of my future daughter in law. All the effort of giving birth, raising the boy, and sacrificing myself for my sons just to hand over my sons to the daughter in law. And the fear of not knowing if I will be able to still have a normal relationship with my son after the wedding let alone be able to talk to them. 3. I wanted the experience of raising a daughter and to not die never knowing what a daughter is like

[@kalalily87]

I have many of the same fears as you. I’m sad that I will possibly be the mother in law, so many people out there hate their in-laws. I’m on this mother site and their are so many posts about how they hate their mother in laws and don’t want them around their baby and how their baby doesn’t like their mother in law. It doesn’t leave much hope for the future. I know even if you have a girl you might not have the relationship you want with them but I feel the chances of being wanted or needed later down the road are greater if you have a girl. I think this is why I still have never gotten over being disappointed. I’m not sure how you move past the disappointment when you know the odds are against you.

[@hollygrail2964]

These are my exact thoughts! Second pregnancy with a boy and I’m terrified

[@tequilabumbum4373]

@@kalalily87 did your disappointment eventually go away?

[@kalalily87]

@@tequilabumbum4373 I love my son more than anything and I am very close to him. He just turned 2 a few months back and he is everything to me. As far a gender disappointment goes it has never went away completely there will be times where I see or hear something and it triggers it and I get sad and a bit angry. What triggers my gender disappointment the most is anything mother in law/ daughter in law related, gender stereotypes that are boy related, thinking about the future and how I won’t get to have a mother daughter relationship like I have with my mother, being a paternal grandmother (in my mind they are like second class citizens, the maternal grandmother is the one that gets to see the grandchildren the most and be close to them) I know that’s not always true but that’s what I have in my head. I don’t think it ever will really go completely away, maybe it would lessen if I get to have a daughter in the future but as of now it still raises its nasty head from time to time. That’s why when people say, (oh, you will feel differently after you see your baby,) I wish they would say that, Yes of course I love my baby more than anything but it doesn’t take away the gender disappointment, maybe it does for some but I don’t think I’m the only one out there still having gender disappointment after their child is born. I really think it should be brought to light that gender disappointment can linger, so others know they are not alone. Hopefully this is helpful for someone still struggling to know they are not alone.

[@tequilabumbum4373]

@@kalalily87 thank you so much, I appreciate your honesty🙏🏽❤️❤️ I think too that I will never stop wishing for a lil girl, but all we can do is wait, pray and enjoy in the meantime!

[@kmmc1112]

My son is such a blessing to me but daughter is a 180. She rarely calls or texts. She knows we would like videos of our grandkids and we rarely get them. When her grandparents were at home in hospice she came once for about a half hour for her grandfather and not once for her grandmother who did so so much for her and spent a fortune on her for golf. She will never be there for us… No doubt in my mind. We spent tens of thousands on her and made sure she has no college debt. I get a birthday call and a gift maybe 2 wks later. My son is a gift from God. Boys are Blessings!

[@amandabraasch3271]

You are such a brave, beautiful soul to have the guts to talk about this on the internet. I enjoyed hearing your story. Congratulations on your sweet boy. 💙

[@SarahBrithinee]

Thank you so so much 🤍 I'm relieved to be on the other side of it and just can't wait to get this little guy into my arms now 🤍

[@carolynmareck5112]

I never felt that way with my three boys, but having been a labor nurse for 30+ years, I know some parents do...it’s okay, we’re all different...but boys dearly love their mamas, and I can’t imagine you’ll be disappointed once you have him in your arms! ❤️

[@SarahBrithinee]

I'm already on the other side of the disappointment and cannot wait to meet him so I'm sure that will multiply once he's here 🤍

[@lindamorgan8672]

I was always a girly girl. Not a tomboy bone in my body and I pictured my daughters and all the cutsie girl things. So, I ended up have 3 sons. I'm so lucky because I have the best and closest relationships with them. I could never ask for anything to be different. It all works out for the best!!

[@SarahBrithinee]

Absolutely! I know this little guy is perfect for me and I'm so relieved to be on the other side of these feelings 🤍 Now I'm just really anxious to meet him haha

[@Whocares158]

"Cutesy"

[@blackglitter1474]

Totally agree. The relationship doesn't depend on the gender at all. Really at the end of the day when we start that parenting journey, it should be unconditional is what I think. I am naturally open to any gender. For the girly things I have nieces to spoil. However, its the nastiness of the people around me. They make you feel inferior if you dont have one of each.

[@aprilcarney558]

I want to give you some comfort. I’m a 50 year old mom of two sons, 19 and 15. I too have such a close relationship with my mom...we talk everyday and she’s always been my everything. When I found out my second child was another boy.. I cried and cried. I thought for sure I would have a girl. Well, needless to say it’s been the best thing ever. My sons and I are so close, probably closer than mother daughter relationship. I love it. I love being a boy mom. Boys love their mommas. They play sports, fart, stink, talk about their privates, but trust me it’s all hilarious. They are the best. I promise you won’t think twice. Praying for you through this time. Yes it’s very normal!!!

[@SarahBrithinee]

Oh my gosh that's so amazing! I hope this little guy wants to be as close to me as I want to be to him. I cannot wait to meet him and have him in my arms 🤍

[@caracorson2709]

Thank you for such an open and well said video!! I had twin boys 18 years ago. When I found out they were both boys I was disappointed and felt totally out of my element. I thought of how active boys are and all the noise!! But people told me how much boys love and are bonded with their mothers and that made me feel better. And I have found that to be true!! Now these big boys over 6 feet tall always hug me and just love their mother.

[@crystaldawn3477]

When I found out our first was a boy I was ok with it because I wanted one of each and just “knew” the second one would be a girl. I cried like a baby at the ultrasound for our second son. My mom and I are so close and I have no sisters. I had always dreamed of having that kind of relationship with a daughter. I felt so ashamed for crying but couldn’t hold back the tears. That sweet baby is now 19 and the light of my life! 💙

[@tequilabumbum4373]

Are you close to him? In a way that he is calling you often and that you are able to have heartfelt conversations with him? I think this is the part that I fear the most… i just found out Im having a boy

[@angelette921]

After finding out our second child was another girl I was super crushed.. I always wanted a boy for my husband who grew up with 2 sisters and keeping his name in the family and it just crushed us knowing that it might not happen and that I don’t know if I want to go through another pregnancy and it end up being another girl… but hearing your reasoning as to why you want a girl helps me to appreciate mine.. my mom and I are super close and I hope I can share that same relationship with them.. and that my girls have a super close sisterly bond..

[@emilye.8779]

Same here. Just found out I’m having a girl when I so badly wanted a boy. I’m struck with guilt and grief atm

[@ginnyburley9552]

I very, very much wanted a boy with my first two pregnancies. The first baby (and in those days gender wasn’t generally revealed before the birth, so I didn’t know for any of my three pregnancies) was a girl and I was very happy. When my second daughter was born, I was secretly heartbroken. I couldn’t tell anyone because I felt it was wrong. I really had to address my feelings alone over time, and over time I realized that having 2 little girls was just what needed to bring out my femininity. When my son was born it truly didn’t matter. I enjoyed having a boy too and have always felt very blessed with what the universe provided for me. Good for you to address this issue!!

[@SarahBrithinee]

I'm so sorry you felt like you weren't able to express your feelings. That's exactly why I made this video. We need the space to feel our feelings! I know I'm going to love this little guy so so much because I already do 🤍 and I'm so relieved to be on the other side of these feelings!

[@Kris723]

I related to this so much! This is the exact deep rooted reason that I wanted a daughter. My mother and I had such a fantastic relationship growing up and just remembering the things that we did together. I’ve always wanted to pass down those traditions and make those memories with a daughter, but even more so once my mother died. So finding out that I was having a boy, all those dreams and the Ideology i had was crushed

[@chiefswife1212]

I get it, I was so happy when I knew it was a boy not a girl! Only had 1 child, and did not want a girl, everyone thought I was nuts when I was so visibly happy I cried!! We want what we want:)

[@Mackenzie88]

Why did you not want a girl is because she like men more than you

[@MzEpiqBeatz]

@@Mackenzie88 How are you trying to be a smart ass and insult someone with such a nonsensical statement 🙄 GTFOH

[@shirs89]

Exactly! You can feel disappointed and also an deep bond towards your future baby. You are amazing for addressing how you overcome wanting a girl.

[@SarahBrithinee]

Thank you so much 🤍 And yes, there can be multiple feelings at the same time that seem opposite. It's totally normal.

[@lissetsanchez5316]

Sarah I wish I could come across the screen and hug you. No judgement here! I was upset when I found out I was having a boy. However, he is now 25 and I can tell you honestly I am so glad we were blessed with a son first. We are extremely close and he currently is serving in the Army. He is deployed and so proud of him and the man he has become! 💙 Being honest about how you feel and speaking on those feelings is BEST. Feelings do not dictate who you are!!! Remember that!

[@SarahBrithinee]

Thanks Lisset 🤍 I'm excited to look back in 25 years and be so so proud of the little man that I've raised too. I know he's perfect for me and I'm so relieved to be on the other side of these feeligns 🤍

[@lissetsanchez5316]

@@SarahBrithinee ☺️💙

[@erinseidel4434]

I did the early testing and just found out it’s a girl, and I really really wanted a boy and I feel so disappointed, and I don’t know how to convey it to my fiancé with out seeming like I don’t want the baby, because that’s what he assumes

[@susifigueroa4308]

I hope and I pray to god every single day that my baby #3 is a girl since i already have 2 boys. If its a boy, i have no idea how im going to feel. I am making myself believe this baby is a girl 😢 I even have imagined how i Would react if i find out its a girl. I want a daughter to watch my husband be a girl dad. I want a daughter so i can love her the way i wasnt loved. I want a daughter so i can buy her barbies and pink clothes. My heart just YEARNS for a little girl. Please oh please lord make baby #3 a girl for me 🥺

[@kaylasmith1168]

I just sobbed throughout this entire video because I am experiencing and feeling all the exact things you did. I assumed I was having a girl, both me and my partner preferred that, I have a very close relationship with my mom, all of it. We just found out it will be a boy and I’m trying so hard to be grateful and happy.

[@samaralittell-daniels8091]

Me realizing my gender disappointment stems from my abandonment issues from my bio mother and wanted to give a daughter what baby me didn’t have 😭😭😭😭 Realizing I can do that for my son too ❤

[@kimberlygilson701]

I have two older sisters and mostly girl cousins. I have a 9 year son and my sisters only have boys as well. I found out I was pregnant this past May. My fiancé has three girls with his past relationship. EVERYONE kept saying “it has to be a girl”. I too felt I was having a girl. I just found out yesterday another boy. I was so saddened and feel terrible for feeling this way. I just always imagined myself with a daughter. I’m getting older and this baby is probably going to be my last. It’s nice to know so many women go through these feelings. I know I will love this baby dearly, just as I love my 9 year old Thank you for this video. It has helped me tremendously.

[@heddy51]

As someone who determines gender for a living I can tell you that many couples experience the same feelings. I have soooooo many stories, some funny, some maddening, and some heartbreaking. E very one wants a healthy baby, but we are human and we have these feelings . In all honesty I had to find out with my first because I knew I would be disappointed with a certain gender...my deep rooted reasons are my own, but they were real to me. This is one of the reasons s I feel so strongly about helping people find out gender and even seeing their babies anytime before birth so they have that jump start to falling in love and bonding. Sorry, here I am writing a paragraph and I could say so much more, but it is something near and dear to me. Just remeber... at least he's handsome;)

[@SarahBrithinee]

Yes, absolutely 🤍 You provide such an incredible gift to families! I'm relieved to be on the other side of this now and just can't wait to meet my little cutie. Being able to see him and hear his heartbeat and watch him move around really does provide such a different type of bond while they're in there 🤍

[@kalalily87]

That’s awesome! Hopefully you are kind and understanding. My ultrasound tech was horrible, she was just down right mean.

[@yeshalloween]

Thank you very much for sharing. I just found out yesterday that I’m having my 3rd boy. I feel horrible but I’m devastated. I’m 39 so I’m done having children. I longed for the daughter that I was certain God would send. My little girl who will never, ever be. It’s not against the baby boy. I will love him with all my heart. I’m just mourning closing the door forever on the girl I’ll never have.

[@marlajames2376]

Thank you for sharing this Sarah. Sending you big, big hugs. My first pregnancy I wanted a girl so badly. My 2 boys are about your age now. I am honestly so thankful for unanswered prayers. There really is a special kind of love between a mom and a son. I hope you find that to be true. My sweet boys are my whole heart. Since I never had a girl, I am not able to compare how that relationship would be like but honestly I think you will love being a boy mom. 💙

[@SarahBrithinee]

I think I'm going to love it too. Everyone tells me how much boys love their moms so I'm really counting on it. I'm also just relieved to be on the other side of these feelings and am so excited to meet my little guy 🤍

[@steph8706]

I’m a mom of 2 boys and we’re trying for our third. We decided to wait until birth to find out gender. I hoping that once baby is placed on my chest there’ll be no way I’d be disappointed. We’re also picking out names early to help picture our child.

[@eunicelove5126]

What do you get?

[@steph8706]

@@eunicelove5126 baby boy#3 🥰

[@adriyolanda6702]

I’m currently 17 wks with what has been told to me is a 3rd boy and I just knew in my gut this was going to be my daughter. I just knew my last pregnancy would be the princess I’d waited for all these years. So here I am severely depressed because this is my last pregnancy with me turning 40 this month.

[@yeshalloween]

Hey, I’m in your same boat. You’ve had your baby by now, but I’m currently 17 weeks and just found out I’m also having my 3rd boy. I’m turning 40 as well before I give birth, so this is it. I’m grieving the daughter I’ll never have. I’m so depressed about it. It hurts. I hope you and your little man are happy ❤

[@tequilabumbum4373]

Are you feeling better? 🙏🏽

[@kyleeverhoff9571]

Thank you so much for your honesty and vulnerability!! I wanted a boy SO badly, and before we found out my son's gender, I forced myself to imagine a girl for 17 weeks to get myself used to it and avoid gender disappointment, but the sigh of relief I breathed once we found out he was a boy was so telling of how much gender disappointment I would have felt otherwise. Being a boy mom is one of my greatest joys, and YES, that responsibility of raising a white man in America is HUGE and I love that fellow moms are recognizing that as we shape and mold this next generation!! You're going to be an amazing mom!!!

[@Isnanurinaya]

I’m the opposite of your situation. I have 2 nieces and not too close with my mom. My husband and I always wanted a boy but last week we found out that we’re going to have a girl. I don’t know how to describe it but my heart feels like broken into pieces. Trying to deal with it but it seems like so damn hard😭

[@maui227]

Same :( Always wanted my first to be a boy, but it turned out to be a girl. Now I feel ashamed of fearing that the second one would be also a girl, although I'm still pregnant with my first.

[@Candace488]

Thank you for sharing this. I am going through the exact same thing right now. We just found out at 12 weeks that our baby is a boy. I was SO sure it was going to be a girl and all our family and friends thought it was going to be a girl. My heart is absolutely broken right now. But watching people talk about gender disappointment and that it gets easier to adjust to this new reality, gives me so much hope and makes me feel a lot better. I keep telling myself that for now, I am allowed to feel these feelings and mourn the baby girl that I have always dreamed of.

[@SarahBrithinee]

You are absolutely allowed to feel how you feel. Theo is now 7 weeks old & I will tell you that there’s no way on this earth I’d rather have any girl over him. He’s the best thing to ever happen to me & I love him more then I ever knew was possible. It’s easier to say that on the other side than feel it/believe it when you’re going through the disappointment, but when that little boy is placed in your arms you will be so thankful it’s him 🤍

[@tequilabumbum4373]

Im feeling exactly the same and grieving the little girl i thought I will have 😞 It feels like it will not get better. Did you feel better eventually? Im sure you did, I would just like to hear a honest answer 🙏🏽❤️

[@Candace488]

@@tequilabumbum4373 I’m so sorry your feeling this way. I know the guilt makes it even tougher. But yes, I did start to feel better eventually! I had a hard time connecting with my baby throughout my entire pregnancy. It felt very foreign and I never really felt that maternal instinct kick in. Even after my son was born, it took me a few weeks to really feel connected to him (I had kind of a traumatic birth/delivery so I’m sure that also contributed to the delayed connection). But while I was pregnant, I found that referring to the baby as “him/he/his” made it seem more real. Buying clothes, picking out a name, decorating his nursery… all those things made me feel better about having a boy. It sounds silly, but I truly believe now that you get the kids that you’re SUPPOSED to have. It’s ok to feel sad and disappointed right now. Grieve the life you pictured with that little girl. But get ready to live the best life with your boy! It’s so much better than I ever imagined it could be ❤️

[@tequilabumbum4373]

@@Candace488 thank you so much for your reply, it gives me so much hope! I actually feel a little better already, you are right, those things seem silly but they do help, like picking out a name and going shopping. Just trying to imagine a new dream, with a lil boy in it❤️ Im wishing you and your family all the best 🙏🏽

[@BlottoBabe88]

How lucky are you to be able to enter your third trimester.. I’ve tried for 15+ years with nothing. Be thankful and grateful you’re even able to have a baby! Because it doesn’t come so easy for everyone... I wish I had the option to be upset over whether or not my baby was a boy/girl. But alas - I don’t even get that.

[@SarahBrithinee]

I'm sorry to hear that you're dealing with fertility issues. I am very grateful that I'm pregnant. I mentioned in this video that it's possible to have feelings of gratitude while also being disappointed. While I'm very grateful to be pregnant & cannot wait to be a mom, that doesn't mean that it isn't hard or that I haven't struggled along the way. I know a lot of women are going through something similar to me and I think it's important to talk about. If videos like this are triggering for you, it might be best to skip over them. Sending you all the positive vibes that things work out the way you're hoping for 🤍

[@ConMuchoAmorBeba]

Im going through gender disappointment right now. I just found out I’m having another boy and even though the father is excited, I am so down about it. I always wanted two daughters and a son but the cards gave me 2 sons and a daughter. I didn’t have no boy names picked out, I have no extra baby boy clothes, I’m not having a baby shower.. so it’s just a lot. I don’t feel like I’m having a boy.. unlike my other pregnancies. For my first son, I felt like I was having a boy, for my daughter; I felt like I was having a girl. This is my confusing pregnancy lol. I’m having literally the same pregnancy as my daughter but the genetic testing stated it was a boy and I’m slightly in denial.

[@SunRain-ep3hc]

Having my early gender scan in 2 weeks, we are desperate for a girl. The thought of having a boy makes me feel sick. Thank you for the honesty.

[@anthonyalbertini4097]

Boys are a blessing. Get some therapy

[@madisonkelseyb]

I was crushed when I found out I was having a boy too (he is now 13 months). Give it some time to set in and accept things. I wanted a girl so bad and envisioned a girl from the moment I found out I was pregnant. Now I literally cannot imagine not having a little boy and being a boy mom. I think you will totally understand someday when your little one is here! Congratulations and know that it is totally normal to feel this way!

[@nonyabizness956]

I haven't even gotten pregnant yet lol but I'm watching this because I actually have the EXACT same reason for wanting a girl as you described in your video. I want to do all the things for a daughter that my mom did for me as a child and I know that I could do most of those things with a son as well but some deep part of me feels like it just won't be the same and I need to work on that preferably before I get pregnant and find out I'm having a boy or something, I just want to be in the right mindset before I even start, my baby deserves better whoever they are.

[@beth90]

I have a daughter, and am currently pregnant with twins. I was REALLY hoping it would be a boy and a girl. I *have* always wanted a boy, so although I’m thrilled that now I get two, I’m also mourning the fact that my daughter won’t have any sisters. I have a sister and her and I grew up together as the best of friends and I so badly wanted that special sister relationship for my daughter. I’ve also been crying over the fact that we won’t be reusing all the baby girl clothes we saved in hopes of having a second daughter one day. And - and this is a bit silly - but all of our closest friends have boys. Every single child in our friend circle is a boy except for my daughter. I was hoping to add another girl to the mix. For my daughter’s sake, but also because all my girlfriends love and dote on her so much and have been telling me I need to have more girls so they can live out their “girl mom” dreams vicariously through me 🤦‍♀️ lol All that said, I AM excited to watch my boys grow up together. And I’m excited to watch my daughter become a big sister to two little brothers. It’ll just take some time to get used to idea of having one daughter and two sons. It’s a life I never pictured for myself.

[@johntracy72]

Are the twins fraternal or identical?

[@maui227]

You're sooo lucky to be honest :) my first is a girl and I really hope the next one would be a boy

[@reneemundy1972]

This is not something I dealt with BUT I am sure that it happens more than people talk about. Even though I didn't experience this, I am so super supportive of women sharing honestly the struggles so others don't feel alone. Thanks for sharing!

[@SarahBrithinee]

I think it happens more often than we know too. Thank you for being so open minded and giving everyone the space and respect to have their feelings. It's important and people like you can help other women who feel ashamed feel safe to open up about their struggles.

[@emalowe7465]

I have four boys an I'm pregnant I'm afraid to find out the gender

[@hayleybourne8886]

I can't really talk to anyone because my other half just wants me to be happy what ever we have but this will be my 6th boy and I have 1 girl but I really want a girl and I have a feeling ots a boy again

[@GreeneyedkittyNAllie]

I lost my daughter. When I got pregnant a second time I wanted another daughter. I found out that I was having a boy. My initial reaction was to terminate the pregnancy but it was too late at 20 weeks. My son is almost 20. It’s not his fault but I could never bond with him. God knows I tried. All I felt was dissatisfaction and disappointment.

[@vaishaaliramalingam5020]

You are a saviour. Am here not for me but for my husband. He s having difficulties accepting a girl because of past traumas in his family. Thanks. Thanks a lot for this

[@tracyparker4587]

Thank you for your bravery in your honesty. I have only one child, and was told prior to conceiving that I would only be able to have one successful pregnancy because of a severe heart condition. I remember, even though it was over 20 years ago, how desperately I desired to have a daughter. I remember telling people that I wanted a healthy girl, not just a healthy baby. I had lost all communication and any relationship with my family after being placed in foster care my junior year of high school; and although that relationship was never healed, I felt that I needed to have the chance of experiencing a mother/daughter bond that had been irrevocably broken. God blessed me with a daughter, who now is my best friend (other than my husband), and I am forever grateful. I will be praying for continued peace and excitement as you prepare for your precious baby’s arrival; and also, that you will be given the daughter you so immensely desire. You are a blessing, Sarah.

[@SarahBrithinee]

Oh my gosh. 1. I'm so so glad you were able to have a healthy baby and got the girl you had hoped for. It sounds like you've overcome a lot and have a ton to be proud of. It's incredible that she's become your bestie. I'm sure it's a bond that you both treasure! Maybe we'll have a daughter in our future, maybe not. I'm just excited to meet this little one and feel so happy that I'm finally on the other side of the disappointment 💗

[@imjustlucy_29]

This reminds me of my aunty. She’s the youngest out of 9. My mom’s the 7th😅 Everyone except her had their baby boys and girls and she’s the only one with her small family of 3 boys. I felt so bad for her when she announced her 3rd boy, she looked so disappointed but didn’t want to show it however we all knew. Whenever there’s a family gathering, you can see her look of sadness and jealousy when she sees her sisters and brothers showing off their daughters like “look at my princess!” “Doesn’t she look pretty with her dress?” “She’s my spoiled one” Like stop it, it’s hurting her😭

[@nicolehughes5373]

I have no babies. Have no plans to have any babies anytime soon. But this was absolutely beautiful. I’m so happy for you. Thanks for using your platform to talk about something that doesn’t get enough attention.

[@karenazhar824]

Sorry girl but what do you mean by “raising a white male in America” mean? How does the responsibility differ from raising a white male to raising any other race? What are you implying?

[@kayleewilson1157]

Thank you for this video! I’m 13 weeks and am having a baby boy. This is our 1st pregnancy and I also come from a family of all girls so I assumed I would have a girl. I’ve always been a girly girl so I knew I’d have no idea what to do with a boy. This video really helped so much! Thank you xoxo

[@tequilabumbum4373]

Are you feeling a bit better now? I just found out too, 13 weeks today, and I fear that this feeling will stay for a long time:///

[@DaughterofJesustheChrist]

I have 3 boys and found out im having a girl. I was so sad i just wanted another boy. I dont know anything about handling a girl and justknow that boys are closer to their moms. Im still going through the works but im slowly adjusting.

[@Megan-zz2co]

I am currently 14 weeks pregnant, we are due to find out the gender at 16 weeks. I am praying for a son, and I know I will feel disappointed if it’s a girl, and this makes me feel guilty all the time.

[@susifigueroa4308]

I have a five year old boy, and a one year old boy. I am 11 weeks pregnant with baby #3, and currently waiting for my NIPT results to come back. My heart desperately desires a girl, and I am really nervous on how I am going to feel if this third baby is a boy. With my second baby I felt so sad that it was a boy, and I felt really silly and guilty about it because my pregnancy was healthy. I was feeling emotional that I wasnt going to experince being a mom to a little girl. But lucky that feeling does go away when you have your little baby in your arms :) but it is rough though when you first dont get what you hoped for, especially when you have other kids of the same gender, and other family members have the gender you so desperatly desire.

[@alexandramotsetdelices6138]

Thank you so much for being open and sincere like this. I'm pregnant with my first and quite disappointed of not having a girl. I also have the best relationship with my mom and 2 sisters and I've just no idea what raising a boy will be like. I just hope we find things to share because I'm so very girly.

[@lindaballerina100]

Thanks for sharing! Also going through th same thing and wondering how you're feeling now one year later?

[@alexandramotsetdelices6138]

@@lindaballerina100 I'm sorry. But I got my mind wrapped around having a boy a few weeks later and when he was born I directly fell in love 💕 He is such a calm and sweet baby. He loves books just like I do and it's a pure joy to see him grow. I still hope to have a girl at some point of course but I'm not so lost anymore :) I hope you will also be able to experience this !

[@shannaileina]

i’m going through gender disappointment at the moment & this helped me so much 🤍 thank you for sharing!!!!!!

[@bumblebee8t3]

Same! I just found out yesterday I'm having a boy. I feel really confused and sad and I feel soo guilty for it?

[@charlottehardman1292]

@@bumblebee8t3 The guilt is so hard :( I’ve not even found out the gender yet (will be doing in 2 weeks) but I’m expecting a boy as both me and my partner have 3 brothers each and no sisters so it more likely will be a boy. The guilt I feel for wanting a girl so bad is horrible, and expressing that hurt to family and friends is even harder because I don’t want anyone thinking I’m ungrateful. Our feelings are valid regardless though and no one should be shamed for how they feel about something. It’s our experience, we are allowed to grieve and be upset. 🤍

[@bumblebee8t3]

@@charlottehardman1292 💯🤗🤗 I had lots of ppl saying I should b grateful and so on, I was thinking u have no idea how I'm feeling, its not my fault I'm feeling this way and it doesn't mean I will love him any less. Ppl can be so insensitive.

[@tequilabumbum4373]

@@bumblebee8t3 are you already feeling better or not yet? Im going through the same thing, just found out today ://

[@bumblebee8t3]

@@tequilabumbum4373 I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy and I'm over the moon! I couldn't be happier, trust me I thought I wouldn't get over the gender disappointment but once he got here that soon disappeared and all I could think about was giving him lots of cuddles n love. It does get better. Before I gave birth I started buying boy outfits to help me and it slowly did get better. Once he or she is in your arms that will all fade out xxxxxx

[@Gloomydays99]

I myself have never experiences this yet and was quick to judge others for the disappointment. I appreciate your transparency and insight. I failed to realize the depth of the matter.

[@SarahBrithinee]

I think it’s easy to think it’s all for superficial reasons, but there are usually much more deeply rooted reasons behind it. I appreciate you being open minded & being able to see another side of it 🤍 This is how we all become more supportive of our communities by learning!

[@hannahwinters6736]

Thank you for this. I am 12 weeks pregnant, and I’ve been emotional since we found out. I am scared to be a mom and worried about my ability to be a good one. I was excited to find out the gender and was hoping for a girl simply because I thought it would make transitioning to motherhood easier and would make me a little more excited…and I am so so close with my mom too. But I just found out today that I’m having a boy and have been so emotional and even more nervous all day. This gives me hope it’ll get better. Of course having a healthy baby is the number one thing but that doesn’t erase the other complicated thoughts. Thank you 💙💙

[@onestepatatime6524]

I just found out i was having a boy this month and i was very disappointed honestly. Im close with my mom and i have 3 younger sisters im close with also so i wanted that in a daughter. I feel like id have more in common with a girl. But the more i thought abouit i grew to be okay with a boy. Ive tried for a baby for 2 years and im just thankful i made it here at all. This little boy chose me to be his mom when he was ready. I cry just thinking about how happy and lucky we are. I loved this guy the moment i found out he blessed us to become his parents. Everyone in my family wanted a boy since we have all girls. I talk to this baby and sing to him to feel closer to him. I am a super extra person with it comes to fashion so he already has the best clothes and room hes not even born yet. Even though my husband and i both wanted a girl we are ecstatic to have a healthy baby boy of our own. We are happy to even get a baby at all when we thought kids werent in the cards for us.

[@jennifercochran4608]

I wanted a girl so bad but I got two boys.. they are such mommas boys and they tell me everything , we are very close , they are 17 and 12 , now that I look back I don’t Know if I could handle a girl with all the hormones, periods, ect 💚

[@SarahBrithinee]

That's amazing that you're so close to them 🤍 I think each gender is easier at different stages. I'm relieved to be over my disappointment and just can't wait to meet my little cutie now 🤍

[@jennifercochran4608]

@@SarahBrithinee 💚💚

[@kw2473]

Just a note, I know you’re trying to make Sarah feel better, but comments about how bad girls are because “periods and hormones” is like a terrible generalization of an entire population that makes up half the world, and what you also are. Are you all hormones and periods? What a horrible vision of what girls are. They are so much more.

[@jenn0128]

I am totally with you on wanting a girl. I, too, want that relationship, that bond, to do girly things together and of course all the cute girly clothes. My first child we did a gender reveal and my disappointment is literally on video! You can see when we cut the cake and it was blue my face turned! I don't think I ever cried or anything, but I was definitely very disappointed. My second is also a boy and when I see cute little girl clothes I still get a sad feeling that neither are girls. But I love my boys so much so I am grateful for them. All I can do is just pray the next one is my girl! These feelings are definitely normal.

[@SarahBrithinee]

I don't know how people who have a preference do a gender reveal! It'd be impossible for me to now show it on my face! I'm relieved that my feelings have shifted and now I just can't wait for this little guy to arrive 🤍

[@jenn0128]

@@SarahBrithinee yeah, I don't know, I don't think I thought about being disappointed, and deep down I honestly thought it was a girl! But, just like you, everyone told me about being a boy mom and how they adore their momma's, so that helped. And while I don't have anything to compare it to, these boys sure do love their momma and I know yours will too!!

[@kalalily87]

I still get sad too. I know everyone Keeps saying it does away but for me it hasn’t. Something will trigger it and I’ll feel upset again. I love my son more than anything but the disappointment has never gone away and he is over a year old. So maybe it’s just me because everyone else the disappointment seems to have gone away🤷🏼‍♀️.

[@allisongoorman]

I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. I am not planning to have children for a few years but I have these same feelings and I can’t imagine how much harder it will be once I am actually pregnant! I know you’ve mentioned being afraid of birth too and I feel the same way. I am grateful for your videos!

[@SarahBrithinee]

I'm so glad you've liked my videos. I think it's important to share my journey so that it'll hopefully help someone who is or will go through the same thing. We're all valid in our feelings and these are important topics that aren't talked about enough.

[@Kaytayfay]

I needed this video. Thank you for being honest & vulnerable. We just found out our second is a boy and I am more than devastated. I’ve been nonstop crying for 3 days. I’m at the point I think I’m in a full on depression and I feel like I don’t even want this baby anymore. It helps to know that I’m not alone as I feel like I’m going to take a long time to get over this, if I even can. Thanks for speaking up about such a difficult topic.

[@kellylako1349]

I'm 19 weeks pregnant, just found out I'm having a 3rd boy. I didn't want to have another child but birth control failed so I prayed and prayed for a girl. We picked out a name and everything. I hoped the second one was a girl but got disappointed. I wanted this to be the last because my pregnancies are always difficult so I didn't want to 'try' again. I don't know how to deal with my feelings right now.

[@schenleymarino1358]

I love that you shared this! So happy that you worked through it and got some help from those who love you most. I'm older than you so I think it's okay to say that I'm proud of you! ;) You're going to be an amazing mama!!!

[@SarahBrithinee]

Aww thank you so so much 🤍

[@lizfinn2334]

you are going to be such an incredible mom & i can't wait to watch you on your journey! :)

[@laurenwillhoit4793]

I have a boy. I wanted a girl so bad. I will tell you I would not trade my boy for any girls in the world. He is the sweetest loving kid ever mama boy for sure. I promise you he will be the light of your life. Prayers for your delivery

[@sarahseibseibtribefamily5028]

First kid wanted a girl so bad. Had a boy, after being a boy mom I couldn’t even imagine having a girl. Second kid, wanted another boy so so bad… ended up with a girl. It’s so strange how these things happen. I think we can relate when we say that once you have him you won’t imagine anything else.

[@pavlamutinska4139]

I didn't want to find out the gender before the birth but I did today. It's a boy, it's going to be a small brother to my 7 years old daughter. I cried a lot because of it already... I shared it with my husband, and he is so cool and supportive in feeling any feelings. On top of that my close friend is going to have a girl. So it feels coldish but... On top of that top dei of my friends list their babies few weeks ago (in 25 WP, and in 23 WP) and of course I'm glad we are doing well... I feel like I lost interest in that baby(!) now. Even if I fell his little kills. I believe I will love him immensely but for now I'm letting myself kind of grieve. The dream of having two girls is gone. Confusing feelings..

[@lambibi414]

You are going to be such a great mom. Acknowledging how your are feeling is your first step and you took it. Honest will always win. I was blessed with a boy first and a girl 17 months later. I’ve always said our son is so easy compared. Children are so different and your relationship is going to be fabulous just because you’re honey on how you feel now. Congratulations to you!

[@SarahBrithinee]

Thank you so so much for saying that 🤍 I'm so glad I'm on the other side of this now and cannot wait to have him in my arms 🤍

[@lindsayann9856]

I remember being sad getting a boy for my first... he is the SWEETEST momma’s boy 🥰 for my second I was hoping for another boy but got a girl! THANK YOU for being so open and honest about everything... it’s not always rainbows and butterflies. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

[@SarahBrithinee]

It absolutely isn't & I think that's ok. I wish it was more normal to have true feelings out there. That's amazing that you have a sweet little mama's boy 💗 I know this little one is perfect for me and now I just can't wait to meet him!

[@AG-wh6jw]

Weird you got it all twisted

[@SarahForeman]

I always wanted a daughter, I just had my first son in May 2020 and I can tell you I truly wouldn’t have it any other way. The bond between a boy and his mama is soooo special! 💙

[@SarahBrithinee]

I'm so so excited for that 🤍 I'm relieved I'm on the other side of the disappointment and now I just want this little guy in my arms NOW haha

[@alvinash3328]

Thanks for this .. ive also always wanted a girl .. and not i found out im having my second son .. although as soon as my first son was born the gender disappointment did go away .. but for somereason when i found out my second and most likely last child is a boy .. i am now mourning the loss of my girl dream .. i am thinking of signing up for therapy to work through these feelings

[@tequilabumbum4373]

Did you feel better eventually🙏🏽?

[@alvinash3328]

@@tequilabumbum4373 yes🙏🙏 my 2nd boy is now 10 months and i am at peace .. this is my final baby and now cherishing the whole thing .. i felt better shortly after birth

[@tequilabumbum4373]

@@alvinash3328 thank you🙏🏽❣️

[@ToJelle]

Its the sorrow of never going to meet my daughter, that have made me fall apart. When i got the news of one more boy i felt like the just handed med the corps of my little girl fetus. 😢 Im 1 month in knowing and i feel so alone.

[@positivesamantics3018]

I’m so proud to be your subscriber! I love your vulnerability. I love how you processed this all ♥️👶

[@SarahBrithinee]

Oh my gosh, you're are the sweetest ever for saying that 💗 I'm trying really hard to let my journey help as many people as possible!

[@roxannebudd1978]

So happy to hear you working through all this and finding in loving the baby you are having. I had a boy in 01 and he is turning 20 on April 6th. We love each other dearly, he was all about mommy when he was young and then connected with dad, so we both had a good connection and now we have Avery loving young man. Just show him live and you will receive it back. 🧡blessing to you and you husband and this new little bundle of joy!

[@SarahBrithinee]

That's amazing 🤍 I'm so excited to meet our little guy and get to know him!

[@Hankandrex]

Hey Sarah!! I always envisioned having sons and at about 10-12 weeks I found out I was having a girl!! I think I kind of knew that I was having a girl but I did have a little bit of a punch in my gut when my midwife confirmed we were having a girl. It is just because of your expectations were disappointed, not because you are disappointed about the gender of your child. It faded for me really quickly. But now my daughter is 9 months old and I would not have changed a single thing if I could!! Gender disappointment goes away really quickly. You could easily have a daughter at another time and it would be the perfect thing. God gives you the baby you are supposed to have

[@SarahBrithinee]

Thanks girl! I'm so glad I was able to get to the other side of these feelings before he's here. Now I just can't wait to meet him because I know he's perfect for me 💗

[@Hankandrex]

@@SarahBrithinee such a huge step of being a parent is setting those little disappointments aside and realizing sometimes you can't just see the bigger, more beautiful picture yet. You're going to do so great and love it.

[@cailinpenberthy445]

Your honesty and vulnerability is sooo refreshing! I appreciated the explanation for cultivating the relationship you want with those in your life! 💛 Thank you for sharing these hard details with us, it makes your true fans love you even more!

[@SarahBrithinee]

Aww thank you 💗 And yes, cultivating the relationships we want is so important. It's a lesson in life we all need whether that's with our kids, parents, partner, friends, co-workers, etc.!

[@faryyyyyy]

I recently found out we are having a girl, felt so bad to be disappointed, because I really wanted a boy. seems like I‘m the only woman on the internet who didn‘t want a girl and I already felt so bad and ashamed, but I feel so much worse since everybody wants girls and I can‘t relate to all the princess girly wishes :(

[@hodonnelll3919]

I am in my 50s now but I had 3 boys, I so understand you and in my day you never said anything as you would have been shamed. Well done for being brave.

[@SarahBrithinee]

I wish more people would talk about it because it's valid and we all need to process our feelings the way we need to.