HFY Reddit Stories | Except the Humans

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SciFi Stories

SciFi Stories

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 595
@worldcomicsreview354
@worldcomicsreview354 11 ай бұрын
Aliens: We can give you this advanced tech, but even one ship takes really long to build. Humans: Allow us to introduce you to this thing we called speedrunning...
@commandercritic9036
@commandercritic9036 10 ай бұрын
I prefer this Human Leader: hmmm… by chance, have any of you heard of the “Assembly Line”? Aliens: 🤨 Human Leader: 😁 Allow me to explain… help me out boys! Human workers: ooooh, Captain’s gonna sing a shanty!
@porsche-sandoesnotundersta8184
@porsche-sandoesnotundersta8184 9 ай бұрын
i get that reference,​@@commandercritic9036
@Antebios
@Antebios 9 ай бұрын
OSHA would like a word. 😂
@user-kh8cc4bx7y
@user-kh8cc4bx7y 9 ай бұрын
@@commandercritic9036 reading this made my day better thank you
@lotuscabage4755
@lotuscabage4755 9 ай бұрын
Wartime economy
@johngellare3507
@johngellare3507 11 ай бұрын
Zanzi: "We have a Dreadnought!" Humanity: *"Hippity Hoppity your ship is now our property"*
@daddyleon
@daddyleon 10 ай бұрын
Would be nice if they had said that
@sirtko
@sirtko 10 ай бұрын
😅
@TheGamingNia
@TheGamingNia 10 ай бұрын
"We have a dreadnought" _"I like those odds."_
@Slayer398
@Slayer398 10 ай бұрын
LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What an awesome line!
@OR56
@OR56 10 ай бұрын
“I’ve got a jar of dirt!”
@BetaSolution
@BetaSolution 10 ай бұрын
I love this. Humans: "Why are you here?" Danik: "They're bullying us..." Humans: "Say no more."
@jj_gaming2589
@jj_gaming2589 9 ай бұрын
Also humans : im about to end this man’s whole career
@mr.robinson1982
@mr.robinson1982 9 ай бұрын
Humans: Point them out...
@america8706
@america8706 9 ай бұрын
I got you little bro. * clones Admiral Chester Nimitz*
@PeachDragon_
@PeachDragon_ 9 ай бұрын
​@@america8706*rebuilds a new space carrier and calls it enterprise*
@rotrox4145
@rotrox4145 9 ай бұрын
@@america8706 Why stop there? Clone admiral Yi, the guy who managed to win a naval battle 333 vs 13 ships without taking a single casualty. Mind you he only took out 30 something ships before having to retreat, but his actions allowed the koreans to seize victory from the japanese time and time again.
@darkwingscooter9637
@darkwingscooter9637 Жыл бұрын
Humans don't lack the means or the capacity, we merely lack the motivation. Love it.
@Hellfire918
@Hellfire918 Жыл бұрын
All of Humanity are E4s, we can do the work...we just rather nap.....the Zanzi learned what happens when they become "the work" & what happens when "the work" prevents an E4 from napping
@eddthehead123
@eddthehead123 11 ай бұрын
@@Hellfire918 "The humans are like gigantic, galactic scale bears. They *can* rip you limb from limb with little effort and take an inordinate amount of punishment while doing it. But they prefer to eat and sleep. Standard Operation Orders are; let them"
@rohenthar8449
@rohenthar8449 11 ай бұрын
@@eddthehead123 Quark : "Let me tell you something about Hew-mons, Nephew. They're a wonderful, friendly people, as long as their bellies are full and their holosuites are working. But take away their creature comforts, deprive them of food, sleep, sonic showers, put their lives in jeopardy over an extended period of time and those same friendly, intelligent, wonderful people... will become as nasty and as violent as the most bloodthirsty Klingon. You don't believe me? Look at those faces. Look in their eyes...".
@commandercritic9036
@commandercritic9036 10 ай бұрын
@@rohenthar8449 this needs to be the top rated comment on this video
@uss_04
@uss_04 8 ай бұрын
Alien refugees “we’ll give you technology to master the stars if you help us out” Humans: “Bet”
@tankish1529
@tankish1529 Жыл бұрын
Aliens - “FTL drives are too complicated to mass produce” Humans - “Hold my beer!”
@christianlee576
@christianlee576 11 ай бұрын
lol...😅😅😅😅...Hold My Beer...lol...
@akiro9635
@akiro9635 11 ай бұрын
Sweat shops: can we get a break where exhausted Elon musk: no faster now
@Trucksofwar
@Trucksofwar 11 ай бұрын
Hold my beer & watch this shit! 😂
@denisemcdougal6445
@denisemcdougal6445 10 ай бұрын
😂
@MichaelMallio
@MichaelMallio 10 ай бұрын
damm this ones buy one get one free
@andrewowens4421
@andrewowens4421 Жыл бұрын
This story basically boils down to: "You attacked our new alien friends so we teamed up and ran your shit."
@brandonquist8394
@brandonquist8394 9 ай бұрын
Even more than that, it wouldn't be hard for us to interpret their story as "You're probably next on the chopping block."
@ireallyreallyhategoogle
@ireallyreallyhategoogle 8 ай бұрын
Nah, it boils down to: "The Danik warned us you were coming, so we got ready. Welcome to hell, bitch." When you tell humans aliens exist that can destroy a planet, they get ready to defend theirs tooth and nails
@Your_western_knight
@Your_western_knight 3 ай бұрын
“I’m about to do what’s called a pro gamer move”
@redraptorx1066
@redraptorx1066 10 ай бұрын
human: "who are they?" alien: "just the things that have been bullying us." human: *already working on taking a 3rd dreadnought* "say less."
@THEFRISKIESTDINGO
@THEFRISKIESTDINGO 7 ай бұрын
“One question. Did they take your kids?” _Some, yes_ “We’re gonna implode their sun”
@chayonouy
@chayonouy 4 ай бұрын
​@@THEFRISKIESTDINGO "One question, did they kill your infants?" 'Yes' "Extinction it is"
@GuukanKitsune
@GuukanKitsune Жыл бұрын
Humans: "For our next amazing trick, we'll make two whole fleetloads of jerks disappear! Sorry, folks, we're not nearly as good at making them REappear, though. "
@The-Singularity-X01
@The-Singularity-X01 Жыл бұрын
Honestly I can see something like that being used as a simultaneous joke and threat.
@piotrskodowski7544
@piotrskodowski7544 Жыл бұрын
XD
@WilliamBraswell-es6pp
@WilliamBraswell-es6pp 10 ай бұрын
It’s the creed of humanity, “fuck around and find out”.
@GuukanKitsune
@GuukanKitsune 10 ай бұрын
@WilliamBraswell-es6pp I always felt it tended to be "Don't START nothin', won't BE nothin'."
@WilliamBraswell-es6pp
@WilliamBraswell-es6pp 10 ай бұрын
@@GuukanKitsune same thing right? It means that if you are going to fight, be ready to get a black eye
@TheNerdForAllSeasons
@TheNerdForAllSeasons 11 ай бұрын
"The eventual invasion of Earth" Xeno scum: Why do I hear banjos?
@worldcomicsreview354
@worldcomicsreview354 11 ай бұрын
When the asteroids start speaking Terran Standard...
@TheNerdForAllSeasons
@TheNerdForAllSeasons 11 ай бұрын
@@worldcomicsreview354 soon to be renamed "Galactic Standard".
@Sephiroth144
@Sephiroth144 10 ай бұрын
Kinda weird to put banjos in the Boss Music...
@OR56
@OR56 10 ай бұрын
When the space dust starts speaking Human:
@X-Prime123
@X-Prime123 9 ай бұрын
😂😂😂
@Forsworcen
@Forsworcen 9 ай бұрын
I love that the Danik being taken in, from an outside perspective, seems like charity. From a humans perspective it makes total sense. You have a race with advanced technology that is willing to share it for the low low price of a place to live. It makes complete sense to make that deal and it’s 100% something we’d do if aliens showed up one day begging for help. Cause the temptation is too powerful to worry about potential risks.
@RexZShadow
@RexZShadow 8 ай бұрын
Honestly the worst decision was to send a beaten and batter face to us because nothing get us going like a sense of fucking impending doom lol.
@Yokoto12343
@Yokoto12343 4 ай бұрын
Behold the millitary industrial complex​@@RexZShadow
@voidcamel5981
@voidcamel5981 10 ай бұрын
Imagining the Flag Ship being found werks later on the space equivalent of cinder blocks and stripped to it's shell is the funniest mental image.
@ignaciocambero9314
@ignaciocambero9314 9 ай бұрын
blood raven sht
@daddybondrewd7271
@daddybondrewd7271 2 ай бұрын
Earth, space's detroit
@Le_Fenix
@Le_Fenix 11 ай бұрын
Humanity got gifted a giant ass gun, and used it *very effectively*
@donnellebarfield3964
@donnellebarfield3964 11 ай бұрын
Aliens jumped us to 40k in 2 weeks
@mr.robinson1982
@mr.robinson1982 9 ай бұрын
We are not "Those who run" but we are "Those who chase" lol
@mrlink206
@mrlink206 9 ай бұрын
Origin story of the BFG confirmed
@thenoteworthy1298
@thenoteworthy1298 8 ай бұрын
Human used gun. It’s super effective!
@OR56
@OR56 10 ай бұрын
“Would immediately punch a hole in time space and fly off to who knows where.” I guarantee that at least half of those captains said the Star Trek opening monologue before engaging the drive. “And to boldly go, where no man has gone before…” *engages FTL drive*
@ignaciocambero9314
@ignaciocambero9314 9 ай бұрын
we gonna search por space ussy
@sandrosliske
@sandrosliske 9 ай бұрын
It would be hard to resist saying it.
@thegungadfly8930
@thegungadfly8930 10 ай бұрын
That’s one thing about humans that echoes through our literature. We are curious, adaptive and love our weapons and engines. Three words that always describe us, better, deadlier, faster.
@malcirhodes3
@malcirhodes3 9 ай бұрын
Harder better faster stronger lol
@ireallyreallyhategoogle
@ireallyreallyhategoogle 8 ай бұрын
And also, MORE
@bitze865
@bitze865 8 ай бұрын
dont forget highly unfocused until we got a common goal/enemy
@Valkyrie77
@Valkyrie77 8 ай бұрын
@@bitze865 ...and that's not wrong. I mean check out the space race: before: US: place something in space? why? RU: We have placed a man in space and thinking of landed on the moon next. After: US: F.Y. we landed on the moon first! RU: WTF?!
@rohenthar8449
@rohenthar8449 5 ай бұрын
@@Valkyrie77 Soviets also didn't wished to put anything in sapce, they were interested in weapons only, but Korolev put sputnik as a decoy warhead to test rocket carrying capacity, yes he lied to the commissar, otherwise we would never go to space, as we see today, where there is no more competition or... dreams.
@anathardayaldar
@anathardayaldar Жыл бұрын
"FTL drives were too complicated to make more than one at a time." human minecraft players: I know how to make a farm to produce 64 per hour!
@justindunlap1235
@justindunlap1235 Жыл бұрын
Pick up phone: "china, we have a job for you."
@МстиславКоряков
@МстиславКоряков Жыл бұрын
"Hey folks, today im streaming my FTL engine assembling speedrun".. :D
@justjoe5373
@justjoe5373 11 ай бұрын
Old SSundee be like
@sirtko
@sirtko 10 ай бұрын
😅😅
@MisterPuck
@MisterPuck 9 ай бұрын
I’m just waiting for the day someone builds a computer in Minecraft that can run Minecraft.
@MichaelMiller-bs3tz
@MichaelMiller-bs3tz 10 ай бұрын
Aliens: FTL ships are too complex to build quickly Humans: Have you ever heard of 3D printing?
@Proxima_X
@Proxima_X 9 ай бұрын
Have you ever heard of china?
@trgyfhgnt3
@trgyfhgnt3 8 ай бұрын
@@Proxima_X lol
@ireallyreallyhategoogle
@ireallyreallyhategoogle 8 ай бұрын
Humans: I guess you aren't familiar with mass production, automation and exploitation of labour.
@CD-vb9fi
@CD-vb9fi 11 ай бұрын
Wow... "demoted" AFTER "execution"? Yea... screw that one guy right there in particular for thinking they could push a few pesky humans over.
@shawncarroll5255
@shawncarroll5255 11 ай бұрын
I no longer have the book handy, but David Brin in his opus Startide Rising has a Tandu Admiral (insectoid race that considers using probability drives that when they fail dissopve the ship in a probability vortex an acceptable risk) tells a subordinate that had failed, to go to the admiral's quarters and with his last sentient thought remove his head and put it on the trophy rack. The subordinate leaves to follow his orders, replying it hopes the new head it grows serves the admiral better. The Tandu are truly alien...😱
@Sephiroth144
@Sephiroth144 10 ай бұрын
That way, the family doesn't get as good of a stipend; yeah, its something that can happen (but usually for on the spot executions as opposed to deliberated ones)
@daddyleon
@daddyleon 10 ай бұрын
Insult to injury, in an honour society, you can even be hurt after death. Like pissing on a grave
@jdtheone
@jdtheone Жыл бұрын
Xenos: we will take your planet Human: okay boys time to kick their asses and take their toys
@ignaciocambero9314
@ignaciocambero9314 9 ай бұрын
they gonna learn why we stop doing war between us
@zoltanmeszaros4684
@zoltanmeszaros4684 8 ай бұрын
@@ignaciocambero9314war crimes which is written down in the treaty of versilles only allow to humans ,so imagion we use them as suggestions.
@THEFRISKIESTDINGO
@THEFRISKIESTDINGO 7 ай бұрын
One of the things from all these stories that does resonate as true is just how quickly we would make the jump from “hmmm these ships have weapons on them” to “we need to be able to implode a star-just in case.”
@BreadApologist
@BreadApologist 10 ай бұрын
“All 4 planet killing weapons charged and ready” It was at that moment the Zanzi knew, they fucked up.
@mrlink206
@mrlink206 9 ай бұрын
*friendly aliens introduce themselves and warn of mean aliens* Humans: “Kaboom?” Other Humans: “Yes, neighbor, kaboom.”
@kapitan19969838
@kapitan19969838 5 ай бұрын
I understood that great and obscure reference!
@DiggerJoseph
@DiggerJoseph 9 ай бұрын
"We brought a Dreadnaught to destroy you" "No, you brought us a Dreadnaught to destroy you"
@khylerbane4523
@khylerbane4523 10 ай бұрын
Aliens: “Thank you for freeing us from the Zanzi military.” Humanity: “I wouldn’t say ‘freed’, more like ‘under new management’.”
@スガル
@スガル 9 ай бұрын
A better management atleast
@Senok13
@Senok13 9 ай бұрын
In this stories humanity doesn't share Hal's "nice guy" syndrome...
@logankelly6807
@logankelly6807 9 ай бұрын
​@@Senok13at least most of humanity
@ireallyreallyhategoogle
@ireallyreallyhategoogle 8 ай бұрын
Nah, the humans welcomed their new allies against a threat they didn't know existed. The racism would start after the war. Probably forcing most Danik to leave Earth to form some kind of colony somewhere.
@giovannipeggio5071
@giovannipeggio5071 8 ай бұрын
​@@ireallyreallyhategooglenah, the Danik would be good. Zanzism would be the norm
@ron10027
@ron10027 Жыл бұрын
Finally a channel that uses a clear voice THANK YOU
@scifistories1977
@scifistories1977 Жыл бұрын
Thanks!
@kdmbigpig
@kdmbigpig 11 ай бұрын
Try agro Squirrel and net narrator
@pyrosplicer85
@pyrosplicer85 10 ай бұрын
Zanzi "Runaway!" Humans "Did I say you could leave?"
@infernaloz6486
@infernaloz6486 9 ай бұрын
"Don't run you'll only die tired"
@shrubman3422
@shrubman3422 8 ай бұрын
Like a teacher The Bell don't dismiss you I do!!!
@thatguywhoanimids
@thatguywhoanimids 4 ай бұрын
@@shrubman3422 “and in this case, I dismiss your *EXISTANCE* “
@julesmasseffectmusic
@julesmasseffectmusic 8 ай бұрын
Aliens: help we are being bullied. Humans: holy shit, a war from moral high ground, yippee
@detectiveghost8856
@detectiveghost8856 25 күн бұрын
Humans; Ah don't worry, we have some experience with this ....
@Cobra-King3
@Cobra-King3 4 күн бұрын
*Massed Yippee bug noises*
@konradsandweg
@konradsandweg Жыл бұрын
I was laughing so hard... this was great! For any Larry Niven fans out there... Humanity has stopped studyng war because they have become so very good at it.
@swiftmatic
@swiftmatic Жыл бұрын
💯 Kzin: "Scream and leap!" Humans: SMACK!! "Bad rat-kitties"
@sasanach8
@sasanach8 Жыл бұрын
yes im a fan loved larry niven
@Demun1649
@Demun1649 Жыл бұрын
Yeh, because war is great fun unless you've been in a real one! Which you either haven't been, or you are from the US, and fighting against people who are nowhere near your technology equals.
@swiftmatic
@swiftmatic Жыл бұрын
@Demun1649 Dude, it's fiction. Put a sock in it or get over yourself
@cr90captain89
@cr90captain89 11 ай бұрын
@@swiftmatic plus war has driven everything about human society, every innovation we have can be traced back to warfare being the innovator, some of our most sophisticated creations were used in warfare before being used for commercial use. the very internet we use now is a military creation, modern cities are just massive populated & compacted forts. & the commercial sector? that's just a nations logistics. guy probably does not realize he wouldn't have his computer/ phone/ laptop without war in the first place. war is a necessary part of our history & our future. otherwise we will slowly slip into complacency & authoritarianism.
@SageofStars
@SageofStars 11 ай бұрын
Reminds me a lot of the story of Tri-Planetary and the eventual Lensmen series that came from that. Humans capture, reverse engineer, and modify all the tech they come up against, so that no two battles are fought the same way as the conflict expands, going from ship to ship, to massive fleets, to literally throwing planets at each other, to a beam that uses an entire star as its focusing lens, and the final one was a pair of planets, one made entirely of antimatter, accelerated in another dimension to beyond light speed, and then dropped out into normal space with a fold of the other dimension following, so the two world collided around the enemy capital planet. That series was awesome.
@calebkaminski6951
@calebkaminski6951 10 ай бұрын
Forget blowing up planet They're removing them from existence
@Skyblade12
@Skyblade12 8 ай бұрын
It’s a shame that it’s so overlooked. On the other hand, that does mean that it wouldn’t be ruined by a modern retelling.
@SageofStars
@SageofStars 5 ай бұрын
@@Skyblade12 I mean, there is the anime.
@Skyblade12
@Skyblade12 5 ай бұрын
@@SageofStars I haven't been able to find it. I've heard mixed things about it. Read the books to death, though.
@SageofStars
@SageofStars 3 ай бұрын
@@Skyblade12 It's not very good, and it's why EEDoc Smith's estate put a kibosh on any more adaptations of the work. As it's own thing, it's a very 80s anime, with high production values, and it uses the names of the story, but does more of a Star Wars plot with it all, with the Lens being less of a 'magic feather' as it turns out to be in the books, and more of an actual weapon designed to kill the big bad Boskone...which is a giant blob monster.
@penemuelwatcher2378
@penemuelwatcher2378 11 ай бұрын
The Donik knew exactly what they were doing. ...and we responded obligingly. ...it was quite a win-win situation.
@sunshinecarnivores1919
@sunshinecarnivores1919 8 ай бұрын
They actually found allies that didn't treat them like crap but equals instead.
@bitze865
@bitze865 8 ай бұрын
you give us technology and a target and we go to work
@bitze865
@bitze865 8 ай бұрын
this story gives me "According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground," ""The bee, of course, flies anyway. Because bees don't care what humans think is impossible." vibes
@NinjaViking1
@NinjaViking1 Жыл бұрын
Love this story.... The A.I. reading is one of the better ones. I come back every few days, listen again, and again.
@raffausfaus
@raffausfaus 6 ай бұрын
“Any alien race would tremble before the might of the empire’s Death Star” “Except the humans”
@detectiveghost8856
@detectiveghost8856 25 күн бұрын
Humans; I'mma take that now and make it cooler
@sabersroommate8293
@sabersroommate8293 10 ай бұрын
Higher dimension beings watching and laughing at mankind do the "impossible" for the nth time while their neighbors look at awe.
@hairtoss7975
@hairtoss7975 Жыл бұрын
"All your dreadnoughts are belong to us."
@helmetongrass1893
@helmetongrass1893 8 ай бұрын
In every story the humans are like the quiet kid of the galaxy 😂
@UNNYANEMPEROR38
@UNNYANEMPEROR38 10 ай бұрын
we went from first flight to first space flight in less than 100 years
@martinxy1291
@martinxy1291 9 ай бұрын
If the Danik are hot af we'd do it in 10 weeks
@jakubw.2779
@jakubw.2779 8 ай бұрын
The progress our civilization made throughout last 100 years is absolutely insane and on a scale never seen before. It took 3 centuries to transform manufacturing into industralization, but only one to move from steam machines to nuclear reactors, and even less to switch from fission to fusion, because let's be honest here, with the way the current progress with nuclear fusion is going, sustainable nuclear fusion is just around the corner
@UNNYANEMPEROR38
@UNNYANEMPEROR38 8 ай бұрын
@@jakubw.2779 funnily enough, companies like Helion say its entirely possible they will have achieved sustainable and profitable fusion within the next decade
@testosterus8935
@testosterus8935 7 ай бұрын
​@@jakubw.2779 yea its funny how we were stuck in middle age for nearly 700 hundred years then we just suddenly decided to wake up and boom suddenly humans are now in space it's like craaming a homework
@tinfoilpapercut3547
@tinfoilpapercut3547 Жыл бұрын
The story of unity between Humanity and the Dan'ik only makes sense if you assume their females look like Draenei.
@michaelbarnard8529
@michaelbarnard8529 Жыл бұрын
Oh, I don’t know. “We got kicked off our planet by violent aliens. We have tech. Can we room with you guys?” Would be pretty convincing for the developed world, and the rest wouldn’t matter.
@RealChrisB119
@RealChrisB119 Жыл бұрын
Yes, my very first thought was these aliens must be smokin' to be so quickly accepted.
@andrewowens4421
@andrewowens4421 Жыл бұрын
If you want humanity on your side, as long as you're vaguely humanoid and "hot" then you'll already have one foot in the door.
@Jake-cm9jj
@Jake-cm9jj 11 ай бұрын
We tend to treat people much better if you bribe us and give us motivation. The Danik were probably like "hey these jerks are going to try and come and enslave you like they did to us...here is all our technology, think you can do something with it?" Hence bribed and given an outside threat to unite against.
@gsilva220
@gsilva220 11 ай бұрын
@@andrewowens4421 Either hot or cute
@janhammekenbuch142
@janhammekenbuch142 11 ай бұрын
... Except, well, the humans... I had a good laugh with the story. Keep up the good work. 🙂
@tiredman99
@tiredman99 8 ай бұрын
Zanzi: You're approaching me? Humans: I can't kick the shit out of you from way over here
@Rivika84
@Rivika84 6 ай бұрын
🤣
@baohoang4966
@baohoang4966 6 ай бұрын
Human: "Who are those guys?" Danik: "The one that bullying us!" Human: "Say less, i got you covered!"
@Alche_mist
@Alche_mist 4 ай бұрын
Oh, those assholes you told us about? They don't seem that tough...
@fifthfreedom7
@fifthfreedom7 Жыл бұрын
love it! its delightful visualizing humans (and a friendly alien w tech) kicking ass against other alien bullies. thank you. i look forward each eve to here these short syfy stories densly packed with creative plot. congrats! and awesome AI voice narration
@scifistories1977
@scifistories1977 Жыл бұрын
I hope you enjoyed this evenings stories! A completely new series starts tomorrow.
@labbit35
@labbit35 10 ай бұрын
If humans can go from WW2 level tech to modern tech in just 80 years, imagine what humans can achieve if we were gifted some sci fi tech. We would be making flagships several kilometres long and railgun ships that have a large railgun that can decapitate ships with ease
@LordGrillo-t3c
@LordGrillo-t3c 10 ай бұрын
Actually human tech greatly decelerated in the last 40 years, all new power sources demand to abandon fossils and thus the capital powers got us stagnated since the 90s.
@Darlf_Sevil
@Darlf_Sevil Күн бұрын
But What if A many kilometres railgun or gauss and them add a ship that would be 1/5 of size... Just something to move and a shield... So we can do more canon ships xd
@gabrieldasilva7970
@gabrieldasilva7970 8 ай бұрын
Earth command: Hey Marines, those alien ships have them new flavored crayons... Marines: * reloading guns with religious intent * Aliens: why do I hear boss musi--- *explodes *
@Beauloqs
@Beauloqs 10 ай бұрын
This series makes me feel proud to be a human......how umusual these days....
@SSFallingTTB
@SSFallingTTB 8 ай бұрын
Aliens:You destroyed the entire fleet! Humans:Your honor free bird was playing.
@charleskutrufis9612
@charleskutrufis9612 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for the best entertainment I've had in a while. Great twist.
@scifistories1977
@scifistories1977 Жыл бұрын
Glad you enjoyed it
@Saiyan0X
@Saiyan0X Жыл бұрын
Alien species: It takes us MONTHS to build a new ship! Humans: Those are ROOKIE NUMBERS!!! *-Builds one every week-*
@thenews6743
@thenews6743 8 ай бұрын
I like the idea that the greatest advantages that our species could have is something we already have currently take for granted, not some random sifi tech. From the way the narrator describes it, the Humans may have just been the only species in the galaxy to abandon the artisan/guild production system in favor of assembly lines, or something equally ridiculous.
@Trent-m6j
@Trent-m6j 5 күн бұрын
Nobody else could be bothered to grind through the early industrial period. Like, everyone else got to the "kids losing their hands in steam powered looms" phase of industrialization and the luddites won, so we're the only species that mass produces things.
@Trent-m6j
@Trent-m6j 5 күн бұрын
I like to imagine other species just jumping us in sight because the pug exists. Like, they go "Canines adopted widespread species-wide cooperation with the humans 15,000 years ago. The humans mutated them into tiny retards with breathing problems because they thought it was funny."
@billhinkle5344
@billhinkle5344 9 ай бұрын
Danik: FTL engines are hard to make. Humans: Do you want to see how fast we make cars. Then we'll show you fast we make ships
@Trucksofwar
@Trucksofwar 11 ай бұрын
There’s a reason why aliens lock the doors when they fly past this place 😂
@ignaciocambero9314
@ignaciocambero9314 9 ай бұрын
for that and also for the blood ravens
@BlackdragonPL
@BlackdragonPL 9 ай бұрын
Is the solar system space Detroit?
@trgyfhgnt3
@trgyfhgnt3 8 ай бұрын
@@BlackdragonPL can't have shit in Detroit
@Swolesauce96
@Swolesauce96 8 ай бұрын
Can’t have shit in the Copernican system 🙄
@The_Kingdom_Of_Aquila
@The_Kingdom_Of_Aquila 6 ай бұрын
​@@BlackdragonPLcan't have shit in sol-78.
@Waroftheworldsz
@Waroftheworldsz 11 ай бұрын
It’s all fun and games until the Humans show up with five dreadnoughts.
@michaelborden363
@michaelborden363 Жыл бұрын
Great show my friend, just printed in our minds and I love that. The voice behind the narration is pivotal. Don't get rid of that guy.
@Austrian_Butcher
@Austrian_Butcher 11 ай бұрын
Its an AI voice
@Linuxgurugamer-vr1vw
@Linuxgurugamer-vr1vw Жыл бұрын
Great story, nothing better, except the Humans
@nesapanjalingam704
@nesapanjalingam704 6 ай бұрын
I enjoyed this story immensely - each time the phrase 'except for the humans' came, I laughed out loud & waited for its next appearance 😁😄 Thank you 💙💚❤️ for all your effort & the time you put in when uploading this. It is really truly appreciated 🙏 You really made my day, you know 🙏🤗
@gw2macken757
@gw2macken757 Жыл бұрын
Every... every invasion starts at Mars then onto Earth. What's up with that? Most of the time Mars is no where near the orbit of Earth, but the aliens always run into Mars first. Dumb ass aliens just don't know how to do a good invasion.
@grogvaughan5649
@grogvaughan5649 Жыл бұрын
It all depends on where from outside our solar system they are coming from. What time of year it is and so forth. Doesn't really seem odd to me at all.
@nadjasunflower1387
@nadjasunflower1387 Жыл бұрын
@@grogvaughan5649 Not odd at all, considering to do an invasion you have to stage somewhere close enough to the target, but far enough away from the defenses. Like you said since coming from outside the solar system, Mars would be the closest gravity well to assemble in before launching an attack.
@grogvaughan5649
@grogvaughan5649 Жыл бұрын
@nadjasunflower1387 Exactly, it all comes down to tactics and logistics.
@hairtoss7975
@hairtoss7975 Жыл бұрын
Paying homage to the god of war.
@julesmasseffectmusic
@julesmasseffectmusic 8 ай бұрын
Take out the obvious colony world first, don't go for the homeworld first. You want surrender not obliteration.
@sardukgarthos
@sardukgarthos Жыл бұрын
I found this the most amusing story... but its true, if anything... humans can be very inventive and are extremely adaptable
@wngimageanddesign9546
@wngimageanddesign9546 Жыл бұрын
Humans: "Badges? We need no stinkin' badges!"
@terryrose4804
@terryrose4804 Жыл бұрын
The "History voice" does very well. And the stories are entertaining.
@noxic8863
@noxic8863 9 ай бұрын
I love how in so many of these stories humans are basically a bunch of tech goblins that can dismantle and re-create basically any piece of technology they can get their hands on and have (or can produce) enough manpower to mass produce said technology, as well as having such crackhead determination and maniacal creativity that they can do pretty much anything they propose themselves and seemingly punch far above their weight, as soon as they discover there's more intelligent life than themselves to compete with at least
@butcher24yrold
@butcher24yrold 9 ай бұрын
The human desire to conquer is great. We've already conquered our little blue planet.
@johnchestnut5340
@johnchestnut5340 9 ай бұрын
World War II America would like to be remembered. Manufacturing broke records. We produced almost as quickly as war machinery was destroyed...sometimes more quickly. Look up liberty ships.
@baohoang4966
@baohoang4966 6 ай бұрын
It's just based on our true nature ! We're not behind anyone because of our capability. We just behind them because we have no reason to surpass them yet!!
@noormohammad9148
@noormohammad9148 Жыл бұрын
What a fantastic story... Depicting the inner drive for survival of humans
@martinknox303
@martinknox303 4 ай бұрын
Humans: We are Humans, we understand how to fight a war. We will kick your arse! Zanzi: You Humans are inferior. We will crush you with no effort Humans: We are not just going to kick your arse by roundly humiliating you in front of everybody, we are going to enjoy doing it. We are Humans, and we are frighteningly good at warfare
@swiftmatic
@swiftmatic Жыл бұрын
Great story! In the vein of Alan Dean Foster's "With Friends Like These..."
@lornbaker1083
@lornbaker1083 9 ай бұрын
Aliens knocking at your door? Better call Sol.
@5wasthenumber
@5wasthenumber Жыл бұрын
I love this story! Exciting!!
@maxpeacock2421
@maxpeacock2421 9 ай бұрын
God every one of these stories make me wanna play stellaris for another 200 hours
@Valkyrie77
@Valkyrie77 8 ай бұрын
Not only is this one of the best stories of its kind, the comments are hilarious fun to read! thanks!
@DarkPhoenixGaming92
@DarkPhoenixGaming92 10 ай бұрын
I find that generally AI voices feel horribly out of place and mispronounce words in obvious ways that just make listening to it really bad. But this one, while I have noticed one or two things like that, is quite good and you have to really listen to notice the Ai-ness". At least I do. The quality is quite good compared to other content read by AI I've listened to anyways.
@darthalghul6338
@darthalghul6338 9 ай бұрын
Humans: This planet is under new management...BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY BLINDERS
@JB-yb4wn
@JB-yb4wn 11 ай бұрын
Earth: The planet where empires come to die.
@krish_4872
@krish_4872 3 ай бұрын
Aliens got theWW2 Hiroshima, Japan ending
@terrorlizard
@terrorlizard 6 ай бұрын
I always find it funny when aliens invade yet do not account for local wild life.
@MurderPierrot
@MurderPierrot 10 ай бұрын
Danik made sure humans are ready 😆
@carolinepitts1169
@carolinepitts1169 11 ай бұрын
Now, make sure these stories are played to the members of our Space Force! Great story!
@DavidOlver
@DavidOlver Жыл бұрын
this is better sifi then i've watched in a long time
@cp1cupcake
@cp1cupcake 11 ай бұрын
This reminds me a lot of the story "The Road not Taken."
@fugitivehunter
@fugitivehunter 8 ай бұрын
Glad I wasn’t the only one reminded of that Harry Turtledove story.
@Volvith
@Volvith 9 ай бұрын
This reminds me of another story. One where humanity is given FTL drive technology, yet refuses to colonize other planets. And when driven to war, despite owning only one planet, Humanity's forces would outnumber every single enemy they'd face. Because while the other species used their FTL drives for galactic expansion, Humanity folded parallel realities. They were a million planets in one. Among all galactic species capable of using FTL technology, _the Humans were the only ones to use it correctly._ Strife breeds motivation. Motivation breeds innovation. _Don't be the problem Humanity has to innovate to resolve._
@Swolesauce96
@Swolesauce96 8 ай бұрын
Danik: Oh yeah this other species is extremely violent and war like, they kicked us out of our home and now they’re coming here. Humanity: *Cracks beer* Stand back let me show you how it is done. Danik: You don’t underst… Humanity: Its been like 5 days they’ve surrendered. Danik: 👀 WHAT???! Humanity: Now back to the usual business, also which human war’s side are you picking btw??
@ismoyont
@ismoyont 11 ай бұрын
This story can be use for the origin of Terran Empire for Star Trek Universe 😊
@akila_melindeth
@akila_melindeth Ай бұрын
I like this one more than others, I always get a chuckle out of "Except... The Humans"
@julesmasseffectmusic
@julesmasseffectmusic 8 ай бұрын
Aliens: Why are helping us? Humans: We hate bullies. A: you can't compete with them. H: seen the large mammals that can kill us? A: yes, there are many H: those are the ones with young we find cute. The others are extinct, we didn't want the competition. We'll be fine, we will go to a war economy. A: what's that? H: it's what we do when we fight bullies. A: but we are your first contact! Evil grin H: oh sorry, we kinda didn't mention we are bullies.
@detectiveghost8856
@detectiveghost8856 25 күн бұрын
We just been bullying ourselves
@intoHeck1964
@intoHeck1964 11 ай бұрын
I like to think the times are wonky due to differing planetary orbits. Like 400 days is actually like 10 earth years
@Youtubecensormydick
@Youtubecensormydick 10 ай бұрын
I think with the right tech and motivation we could do it.
@trgyfhgnt3
@trgyfhgnt3 8 ай бұрын
there's probably a difference yeah, but nowhere near that large,
@sonar357
@sonar357 10 ай бұрын
I like to think, in an alternate Mass Effect universe, if the Quarians discovered the humans in the 21st century, this would be how it would go down: the Quarians would arrive in Sol and be granted refugee status in exchange for scientific and technological know-how. Then, alarmed by the rapid expanse of the human-quarian alliance, the Batarrians would strike, thus awakening the sleeping giant.
@SpicierTaco
@SpicierTaco 8 ай бұрын
They really went toe-to-toe with the one branch of service that basically made a reputation for themselves by fighting every clime and place...those dreadnoughts never stood chance. 😅😅
@pongsatonrattanapriyanuch7331
@pongsatonrattanapriyanuch7331 7 ай бұрын
This feel like space Midway for some reason and Im all for it
@judgedredd2039
@judgedredd2039 10 ай бұрын
Zanzi first mistake: Sending an alien race to earth that the humans would take pity on that would also warn them about the Zanzi. Second mistake: Sending said race with ship that had advance tech compared to what the humans had. Third mistake: Taking a year to realize that needed to put a stop to what was happening. Fourth mistake: Sending a fleet Fifth mistake: allowing their approach to be noticed. Sixth mistake: Not realizing that No other race could challenge them, well... except the humans.
@rjbmarchiac8693
@rjbmarchiac8693 10 ай бұрын
Their main mistake however is that they never considered that the Danik would tightly cooperate with Humanity. They forsaw that Humans would greet the refugees the same as they would have, face to such a small and feeble "trespassing" force: with a swift, merciless and barbaric response driven by a natural xenophobic, self-defence reaction.
@ignaciocambero9314
@ignaciocambero9314 9 ай бұрын
Seventh Mistake: let us borad the big pew pew floating boat
@jinksdalfang8843
@jinksdalfang8843 9 ай бұрын
Humans: why are you running?
@Lumberjack_king
@Lumberjack_king 9 ай бұрын
3:36 I’m surprised but also quite proud
@chuck08113
@chuck08113 4 ай бұрын
You know I like a well disguised poem. No, there's no rhyming, alliteration, or sing songy turn to the words, however there is one repeated reprise. The core sentiment the point the emphasis. Except the Humans. its a wonderfully beautiful little thing.
@conradnelson5283
@conradnelson5283 11 ай бұрын
Great story classic sci-fi from the 50s and 60s. Will be looking for further additions.
@CrazyHondaChris-H18
@CrazyHondaChris-H18 Жыл бұрын
Another great story! Thanks
@TheRondog19871
@TheRondog19871 4 ай бұрын
Its a nice change from the trope of "hunans are the undredog" when it comes to joining the galactic comunity
@jameskimani8537
@jameskimani8537 Жыл бұрын
Wow I love these stories, you guys are awesome.
@GonzaloAlvarezWoodCat
@GonzaloAlvarezWoodCat 10 ай бұрын
The Patreon link is bad, missing some point... The video was awesome, great work!
@Libycops003
@Libycops003 6 ай бұрын
2 words for how they built the ships so fast Canned. Spinach.
@nargalda773
@nargalda773 Жыл бұрын
war, war never change, and we are best in galaxy in it
@Your_western_knight
@Your_western_knight 25 күн бұрын
Zanzi: “we literally have a planet destroying ship” Humans: “lmao nah”
@RobertMattison-w4p
@RobertMattison-w4p 8 ай бұрын
Good audio very interesting Syfy story. Thank you for sharing.
@Valkyrie77
@Valkyrie77 8 ай бұрын
I love... love this story! Gives me some major Yamato/Macross vibes.
@davidt.5513
@davidt.5513 7 ай бұрын
I can't. The comments are the best😂
@mikkelnpetersen
@mikkelnpetersen Жыл бұрын
Zanzi fleet was just a warm up.
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