self help channels are lying to you

[@Pinely]

It's been about 7 months since I posted this video and during that time I've seen a lot of people worry about me. Please know that I am doing pretty GREAT at the moment, its odd but I feel like this video was sort of a reset point for me and ever since I've been experiencing a pretty long period of bliss. Just know that theres always hope out there and that even the worst times in your life can change into something pretty great, thought I'd leave this here because I think it leaves this video on more positive of a note :) have a great day everyone

[@A2Z2]

What’s the background music at 28:28

[@Pinely]

@@A2Z2 remix of "book of war" if you look it up like that I think you can find it

[@augustopdrocha]

I guess it shows how reflecting on your problems can be a therapeutic endeavor in itself, sometimes.

[@soleneptune9498]

I love youuu

[@h3corptempbutevadinganass]

Glad to here brother

[@JamesMarriott]

wow this is a really good video!!! this is definitely not just Pinely commenting from James' PC btw, thanks

[@notlloy3572]

hello James Marriott and totally not pinely

[@Rheumatoidarthritis]

upload

[@timhocking529]

Hi definitely James Marriott and not anybody else commenting on their own video using another account.

[@jeremycoelho1833]

@@timhocking529 not really using another account. He went to his mates house n is commenting from his PC/account

[@madjangt4181]

@@jeremycoelho1833 🤓

[@DellVanity]

Another thing I want to mention about the "eating healthy" bit is that cooking a healthy meal at home takes time and effort. Who the hell gets home from their third job of the day and wants to stand around and cook?

[@99sins]

This basically. Not just cook but cook something good that won't make you feel miserable after eating it. That takes time and effort to master/improve. I got lucky and managed to get some monetary breathing room to invest in an instapot which streamlined that process really well so I'd say if you got poor friends that you want to help out, gift them one of those and cook them a couple meals with it as a gift/example. You'd be surprised how helpful having 'pragmatic aid' around the house is for people who no time for the good-ol'-hammer-and-sickle ways of doing things.

[@lisapeesalemonsqueezah3241]

Right?! It's not even that I don't want to, it's that I literally have 9 hours until I have to go back to work again and I still have to study for my college classes. I'm not taking 2 hours out of my sleep time to cook, eat and clean up.

[@ohh771]

@i disagree as is your trolling

[@CloudWalker__]

I mean, who the hell wants to work three jobs? Nobody, but to some it’s necessary, eating healthy is necessary for everyone. Sure it sucks, but eating healthy isn’t something that should be neglected.

[@hana-a-cha]

@@CloudWalker__ Is it more necessary then sleeping? Which should one choose?

[@PopChanx]

oh my goooood. I can't believe they pulled an "rich people eat healthier". uh, yes, because they have MONEY. that's the whole point. poor people sometimes can barely afford to have three meals a day, and these dishonest people wanna compare that to rich people that can hire a chef and buy expensive groceries at whole foods every day? it's almost a joke, I can't comprehend the complete lack of self awareness these gurus possess.

[@ddjsoyenby]

this as someone on food stamps we don't all have the luxury.

[@Kxvito]

I think your idea of rich and poor is very exaggerated, it's very easy and cheap to eat healthy if you know what you're doing and you don't need to be out here eating salmon and other foods like that.

[@clairebear620]

@@Kxvito it depends on how many mouths you have to feed as well. And you can respond with, “well they shoulda thought of that before they had kid,” but that’s incredibly short sighted. While I agree it can be fairly easy and cheaper to eat healthy…not everyone can afford “organic” or “non-gmo”. A lot of ppl who are gluten intolerant can’t afford gluten free foods. It’s sad that the “better something is for you” the more expensive it becomes.

[@Kxvito]

@@clairebear620 Whilst the gluten intolerance thing is correct, things like organic or non gmo food isn't that important unless you're some kind of vegan animal rights preacher

[@lindensalter6713]

It goes more than the cost at the grocery. Lots of healthy things you don’t just buy without doing more stuff at home unless you are just going to eat raw veggies and nuts. You have to commit more time and energy to make the healthy option vs the less healthy option. And if you don’t really know how to cook, have to take the decently sized risk of you messing up and just throwing money out at that point. There are more benefits to buying the frozen dinner or picking up fast food than the cost.

[@Durrutitv]

Gary Vee likes to pretend that he started from nothing and grinded his way to the top, but his dad had a multimillion dollar wine business. I'm sure Gary grinded his ass off to turn his dad's 3 million dollar business into a 50 million dollar business, but the average person who is looking to him for help doesn't have that kind of seed capital, and telling them that they can grind their way to wealth in the gig economy is fucking delusional.

[@eggwhites8441]

it's the doing it from scratch that's the hard part They way he just disrespect that part pretending he is the one who doing the hard part pfft

[@Manigeitora]

Reminds me of when Trump said he started with a "small loan" of a million dollars

[@McDonaldsCalifornia]

Also I'd wager that his workaholic lifestyle is connected to some pretty severe daddy issues. The classic story of a rich parent not wanting their children to grow up entitled so they are really hard on them and expect them to hustle but it goes too far the other way and now their children resent them and have a chip on their shoulder about how hard they had it even though they had every advantage except a loving relationship with their parents (something that no amount of money can buy ironically lol)

[@eVill420]

that's a very negative outlook to have. a gig economy is probably the best economy to get rich in because you don't need to have immense amounts of capital to start a business, you just apply for part-time positions and the barrier to entry is lower. by being the best you will rise to the top, unlike in some other financial systems where you're shackled like in Japan where it's normal to work for the same company for 50 years until you retire.

[@tinoesroho]

​@@eVill420 in a gig economy all workers are treated as identical commodities to be exploited and worn out as fast as possible. entire schools of management in the 1970s designed things like "rotated work schedules" and my favorite, "random interval task direction", in order to break workers. many retail stores are designed, on purpose, to have 400% worker yearly replacement. the best cannot rise to the top by simply being excellent at completing tasks. instead, three types rise through the ranks of management: the cruelest, the funniest, and the lyingest.

[@Miyananana]

A guy I use to work w worked 80 hours a week and still struggled to help pay for his family. He never complained. But other factors go into causing poverty and many people don’t recognize it. This man I knew left another country and had to start all over again here. He didn’t have the money to invest or save because his paychecks all went to bills. I remember reading an article from a woman living paycheck to paycheck, she really put it in perspective for me. She would work long hours and save, then her heater would break or her tire would pop. And because of those things that were out of control, the little she had in her savings would have to be emptied and she would have to start all over again. Poverty is a sometimes endless cycle that is incredibly hard to break out of, no matter how much work you put in.

[@elvingearmasterirma7241]

There is nothing more expensive than being poor

[@ladyadrella]

The cost of poverty is a very real thing these self help people like to overlook. It's like a bizarre form of victim blaming.

[@equidistanthoneyjoy7600]

Not to mention, being poor can be very expensive. I imagine when she replaces her heater or tires, she isn't getting a top of the line product because she can't afford it; and as a result, it'll break sooner and end up costing more in the long run. It's something I noticed with jeans, I pay 15 bucks for the cheapest pair of jeans I can find and I have to replace them twice a year; I pay 80 bucks for a pair of durable, high quality jeans and I've had them for 3 years and they're still in good condition. If I can't afford those good quality jeans, I'd end up paying twice as much. All these little things that someone born into wealth would literally never have to think about, and would just blame poor people for it like we're the ones setting the prices.

[@Darkfyyre]

@@equidistanthoneyjoy7600 this is exactly the point Terry Pratchett makes in his Discworld books. i believe the protagonist calls it the "boots theory" or something like that, but it is literally the fact that a rich man can buy a fine pair of boots which will last him decades, while a poor man can't afford boots like that, and has to buy the cheapest pair which will inevitably break down within a year or two (and if that man has a hard labor job, that might be closer to 4-6 months), and then he has to buy a new pair. "oh why doesn't he just save up for the fine pair of boots?" yeah? how are is he going to do that? boots aren't the only thing he's having to replace, they're not the only thing draining whatever money is leftover after paying the bills. he might have loans that need to be paid off, and in the time it takes him to save money for the boots, the interest on that loan has far outstripped whatever he might have saved on the boots. just as the other replies say - being poor is very expensive.

[@velvetzealot5175]

"I didn't go out on weekends! I didn't take vacations!" Translation: I wasted my life working non-stop and doing nothing fulfilling.

[@MyFatherLooksLikeAPallasCat]

Ikr! Isn't being able to have fun and gain experiences the point of making money in the first place?

[@velvetzealot5175]

@@MyFatherLooksLikeAPallasCat I honestly don't know what the point of living is in the twisted, fucked up minds of these grindset types. I'm not sure I want to find out.

[@Manigeitora]

I wonder what his honest answer would be if someone asked him what his hobbies are. Like, what does he do for fun? Has he ever even gone to see a movie, or enjoy a concert with friends? Fuck, does he even *have* friends, or just business partners? It sounds like a really depressing and isolated life.

[@SnehaR1309]

honeslty, life's too short to be working 24/7...I could die tmr I dont want all my memories just be filled with stress and exhaustion and shit, sure work / uni / being productive is important but so is enjoying what life gives you outside of all that

[@willowdear]

What kind of poor person goes on vacation i know that I've only been on 1 in the last 15 years and it was my honeymoon

[@lisapeesalemonsqueezah3241]

I use to work 4 jobs. I was working 7 days a week. Going to the gym, going on BS diets and being completely exhausted all the time. But guess what? I was still poor because all my jobs were minimum wage and the cost of living in my city is atrocious. It's like these people have never even heard of minimum wage.

[@Magicpoppy]

Exactly! And too many times you have to do a lot of extra things without getting paid one cent more😔.

[@herluka]

What Gary Vee says: I work non-stop, no holidays, no time off, just work. What I hear: I'm so inefficient at my job that I have to work much longer hours than others. I work hard, not smart.

[@FlorSilvestre12]

It's always wild to me hearing people with money tell working class folks that we need to give up every little pleasure in order to have better lives because when I first became poor as an adult, I had a friend who had been poor for years coaching me on how to survive poverty, and she told me the exact opposite. Her instructions were to always set aside a little grocery money for a treat (like cheap ice cream) because if you completely stop getting yourself things that make you happy in the name of saving money, you will eventually go insane.

[@sarahshroom]

It also just.. Feels ableist on top of it all? Like these people ate basically saying the only people who deserve to live in financial stability or happiness are those who can physically work. Which is just not the case for so many people

[@soggyfroggy22]

@ trapd00rspider including their 4-5 hour of sleep. That’s something they pushed on people. One of my favorite things to do on a day off is sleep in. These “gurus” frown on our little indulgences.

[@owehoward5809]

I suffer with severe mental issues and have fibromyalgia… people like this anger me so much because they make it out like everyone can put in that work when in reality it would kill people like me

[@clarence5211]

forreal! the whole ‘we all have the same 24 hours’ spiel is such bs when you consider how health issues (to name just one factor) affect how many of those hours you can actually use to be on the grind or whatever

[@imtrying9210]

dont do it then. You and others with a risk should be aware and simply not do it. But for the millions of others who need this. Its really helpful. How about dont get angry and carry oon with your life.

[@Roman-zu5wo]

@@imtrying9210 these people push it onto others who may or may not have invisible health issues, or they act like we’re lazy. Also the fact that some of these are “how to not be poor and if you don’t do these things u deserve to be poor” drag us in too. There are things that can help your mental health, and there are ways to modify things for people with health issues and disabilities. But these ppl? They’re a bunch of idiots who want to act like they’re better than others, and usually think that poor people deserve to live badly or worse

[@imtrying9210]

@@Roman-zu5wo yes there are negative people, there are in everything but at the end of the day self improvement is about improving yourself. It’s subjective, someone can tell objective advise and it’s on you to take that and work it into yourself. If you’re obese and some advice says workout for 30 minutes a day and you can’t. Workout for 5. That is improvement. Shit man I’ve got personality disorder and thought the whole mediation thing was bullshit because the negative people, who are the crystal and chakra weirdos, put me off it and made me think it was genuine bullshit. But I’ve just completed my goal of meditating twice in a day, 3 days in a row. And it’s already helping, it’s already improving myself. End of the day the negative people are the loudest, but self improvement at its core it’s just improve yourself in any and every way POSSIBLE.

[@Colddirector]

Not to mention the "work" these rat bastards do isn't the kind of work that poor people do. I'd be surprised if Gary Vee's worked a physically exhaustive job for little pay even once in the past decade, if ever. It's very easy to say you should just work 15 hours a day when your "work" is little more than bullshit conference calls and business meetings.

[@eggsontoast]

I never really found that self-help content helped me, the opposite actually: it just made me feel worse about not doing the things they suggested, and overwhelmed by all the tips. I know now that I'm neurodivergent, and the way my brain works likely doesn't align with the way these creator's minds work. The one thing that actually helped me with procrastination was something I worked on in counselling: self-kindness. Being kind to myself has made a massive change in my ability to actually do things, and it started with giving myself permission to not do things. Permission to make mistakes. Permission to not have to do it all perfectly and permission to not be able to do things at 100% most of the time. If you're here in the comments looking for advice, that's my advice to you. Take things one step at a time, give yourself explicit permission to fail, and see how it goes. Take it as a long-term project to see what happens if you're kinder to yourself. After all, if what you're currently doing isn't working, maybe this will. It's scary to start giving yourself permission to fail, but it has helped me tremendously.

[@mekko902]

I love this! Just simple things like stopping negative self-talk were transformative for me.

[@Sagekittykin]

Same. I thought I was doing a shit job too

[@fificrazyzebra7375]

I totally agree. It's overwhelming when neuro divergent and harder to apply without the negative thoughts and worries. It feels like I'm useless when I can do what seems so easy to them. I'm terrified of failing and over think everything its held me back so much. I'm pushing myself to try and trust in myself but I've got zero self confidence and self faith.

[@Teefs001]

Thank you for writing this out and putting it into words! I struggled with this so much never thought I was doing enough when I got sucked into the self help world. Since being diagnosed it's like "oh I was really looking validation/reassurance of my ND mind not self help tips".

[@fificrazyzebra7375]

@@Teefs001 it took me years and a partner who helps nd people with his work so I'm rather lucky. I've found out so many things I thought were what others did until told otherwise. Teef I feel it makes us stronger but we don't know it. I've learned to embrace myself and my weirdness, it has definitely helped. I hope you're doing OK and know I'm in your corner 😊. You got this, it's OK to fail as it's not failure it is just the path.

[@Infamous-K]

That "don't buy $4 coffee daily" garbage is just a way of blaming people with less for what they don't have. Sure, being wasteful with money isn't great, but never having a nice thing.. a reward for a good week, a consolation for a bad one, etc, those are the bits of joy you grab as you go. If you don't buy yourself a nice drink once a week, sure, at the end of it you'll have an extra $200 at the end of the year, but it's not going to change your life.

[@nachiketh3650]

But there are genuinely some people who spend tons of money on coffee and Netflix when you can buy instant coffee and piracy.

[@JimJamTheAdmin]

@@nachiketh3650 if you think "just commit a crime" is helpful, then you don't really get the point.

[@nachiketh3650]

@@JimJamTheAdmin What? What do crimes have to do here?

[@JimJamTheAdmin]

@@nachiketh3650 is piracy not a crime? The criminality is baked into the word lmao. Did you forget the words you typed and what those words mean?

[@nachiketh3650]

@@JimJamTheAdmin lol what kind of a rich kid are you to group piracy with murder, theft and rape. Sure it might be unethical, but that's a different conversation entirely. There are people out there who want entertainment but can't afford to pay outrageous fees for watching five to ten movies. Do you understand how predatory these services are to a paid user. I'm from India by the way and I do buy games or media that I think has earned it, but majority of third world cannot afford subscriptions. We are criminals to you right?

[@mordaciousfilms]

Evil capitalists basically telling you "be a good little machine for the system!" while I'm over here foolishly having dreams and ambitions to enjoy my life rather than making every waking hour about some chase for cash...

[@ddjsoyenby]

my dreams involve pitchforks, t0rch3s, and jeff bezos front door so guess i just gotta get on that grind.

[@mordaciousfilms]

​@@ddjsoyenby I back your dream. Get on that grind! Let's band together and redistribute that abundance.

[@thefunnychiptuneman]

amen my brother

[@nuclearpancake3683]

@@ddjsoyenby the asexuals have your back!

[@scourgehh714]

Sadly, they will get their way, now with the push for ai, they have their little machines and no longer have need for people with dreams and ambitions

[@kotacaelum9428]

i hate the “why are you complaining about being poor if you get starbucks and have netflix AND hulu?” argument. humans should not have to sacrifice simple pleasures in an attempt to maki more money to be able to live???

[@Nekoszowa]

Or you can just pirate the shows and movies and make your own coffee. Also, yes, if you pay for all those services and buy Starbucks everyday you are not poor. Your argument is used by people who just want pity and who have never been poor in their lives.

[@kain1799]

@@Nekoszowa wow spending money on coffee in the first place. That's a waste of money you're gonna be fucking poor now.

[@notapplicable6985]

@@Nekoszowa So just commit a crime? Because thats what piracy is

[@Sedna_B]

yea it's literally the same with - now I have to come with a recent example cause I'm really done and fed up - why do these poor people running from an other country have smart phones? chargers? nice clothes? the audacity. fuck off, everyone. yea cause they should fucking drop everything of value and seem poor and frightened and like they lost everything, because they literally did, they just have to prove themselves to ppl in their nice warm homes. Same with poor people tbh, just as you said. I'm so done, sorry for the rant.

[@bitchpuke]

@@notapplicable6985 piracy is always morally justified

[@scottyb8392]

Yknow who worked full days and took zero time off? My great grandfather. Yknow what that got him? Dead in his 40s with hardly any money saved because he only made $900 annually. His teenage son ended up having to leave school and start his “grind”, even after he found a college he planned on attending. I hate how “the grind” is so glamorized when some people have no choice. Some people work full days and their kids still can’t have birthdays or get the attention they need. Some people work three jobs because their parents will die without it. If that’s what you want, fine, but I can’t stand hearing that “if you work nonstop for 20 years, that’s guaranteed success”. That is almost never the case. They’re not “bad with money” they’re the cogs that keep capitalism running. Someone’s always gotta be oppressed. Someone’s always gotta be working harder than they’re earning. That’s the way the system is designed. AND I KNOW WE ALL KNOW THIS, SO WHY DOES GARY STILL HAVE ANYONE FOLLOWING HIM

[@ysodora8030]

I feel like whenever I talk to anyone in my extended family above the age of 30, they can’t comprehend how our economic system disadvantages people, because they’ve had the privilege to not be on the other end of the boot. My family are all middle class to upper middle class, and because of being fed lies their whole lives about poor people being lazy and such, they can’t comprehend how disenfranchised the people at the bottom really are. With the internet, younger generations have much more access to information than our predecessors, so I’m hopeful we’ll be able to circumvent some of the capitalist propaganda that keeps people stuck in their ways of thinking.

[@pies-of-pain2877]

I think the other half of it, at least from what I've observed over time is a lot of the culture here in the states is really obsessed with work and suffering. Like if we aren't suffering something is wrong and the more you suffer it becomes a sort of currency of morality. Even now most jobs I've worked everyone around me seem to love to optimize their suffering. Too much and you get overwhelmed, BUT not enough and they all seem to get antsy like something is wrong and they won't be able to justify themselves and their paychecks so they gotta do more

[@DespOIcito]

the problem is that we don't all know this. capitalism works because the working class are filled with constant propaganda telling them it's good and that it works. left wing beliefs are demonised because then the 1% don't benefit, and they can't be having that

[@scottyb8392]

@@DespOIcito you’re right. It isn’t about the honor hard work, and it wasn’t back then either. For my great grandpa, it was about the work he could get as a Jewish man in a Catholic community with no family to help him. I’m far more fortunate than him, but somehow it’s going to be even harder because now everyone has a college degree and my area of expertise is over saturated 😵‍💫

[@AbbyBlackbird]

Working non stop to live up to some “status~quo* is a huge proponent to familiacide.

[@em84c]

Yea I watch true crime and you see some get big houses, nice cars and shit they can't afford and when they get to a point where they are going to lose everything they kill their family rather than face the shame of telling them. Especially if they lose their job but pretend to go to work everyday.

[@zata4ul]

Finally it's back and I can finish watching, it really caught me off guard and scared a bit when last upload just stopped playing out of nowhere amidst me watching it. Thanks for an interesting video, mr. KZbinr! I will enjoy the rest of it in my boxers with a glass of cold orange juice

[@bigpooper4156]

Gregory?

[@timhocking529]

Mmmmmmm Juice 🧃

[@mascha2470]

lovely video. "I deserve to do things I kinda like" is something most people should say to themselves more often

[@mysteryvon9580]

KZbin self help content is about as helpful as buying dehydrated water: It's a scam, and you fell for it.

[@R1ngbanana]

Wait.. what the heck is dehydrated water even supposed to mean??

[@Pinely]

@@R1ngbanana i love dehydrated water

[@mysteryvon9580]

@@R1ngbanana I love dehydrated water

[@assfie]

@@R1ngbanana i love dehydrated water

[@rambbler]

@@R1ngbanana If you are still genuinely confused, dehydration is removing the water from something, so dehydrated water is nothing but dressed up to sound intriguing.

[@paxbrown03]

Mindfulness is a huge help for me however I learned it from my therapist in a way that wasn't just always be happy. Personally the best self help for me is just actively doing things that help improve my life with the least amount of cons or if possible no cons. Such as going to therapy, working out, trying to eat better, drink more water, cut back on drinking alcohol and smoking and I've realized I don't need a guru to do that

[@ddjsoyenby]

agreed.

[@nataliekennedy2508]

The coffee thing always pisses me off. I'm mostly a very frugal person but I also spend about 70$ a month at coffee shops as a student (going out twice a week for a coffee and a snack) but those little trips are what gets me out of the house and exploring the city. Its a way to try good food without shelling out 30+ bucks on dinner or drinks. I go more for the atmosphere and the little adventure and the social connection ranther than for the coffee, so making instant coffee at home isn't really a replacement (I did that over the omicron wave and it sucked). Maybe if I didn't do that I'd have an extra 800 bucks in the bank at the end of the year but 800$ wont make me rich and it makes life kind of meaningless if I never got to do anything nice for myself over the course of that year... coffee is such a cheap little indulgence in the grand scheme of things

[@tendatonda1634]

The problem is these self help youtubers treat money as the end, not as a means to an end.

[@Pinely]

I really wanna hear from you guys, what are your experiences with self help content? Do you feel like any of this stuff managed to help you or not really? Love you

[@elen5871]

I've never gotten anything from self-help, I tried some stuff when I was a teenager and trying to find myself after getting out of an abusive religious upbringing, and rly all I got out of it was like. Nothing, haha. Honestly I saw a lot of parallels with the Mormonism I grew up in, so it was easy to avoid the whole like. "Check out how great you can be, but also send me money!" It's the same tactic, too. Something that always bothered me about Mormonism growing up was that the converts to the church were *always* people who were absolutely at their lowest point in life and some 19 year old missionary kid shows up like "hey, this book has literally every answer you're looking for! all you gotta do is get baptized and give us 10% of your income. before taxes." and that's the *exact* same tactic as self-help gurus, they find people who are at their lowest and then try to sell them answers. anyways I am typing this while watching so I'm gonna stop and watch you dunk on Gary Vee bc frick that dude.

[@elen5871]

also not to be weird but your hair is a+ in this video

[@gustavedore1073]

As someone who has adhd and generalised anxiety I have learned to use mindfullness. It helps me to ground my self and calm down. However most of mindfullnes videos used to annoy the hell out of me, so it take some time to found right way for me to do it, without all the toxic positivity surrounding it. Now I know my self and what kind of sounds calm me down. These self help channel often try to feed us narrative where one thing fits for all, but truth is we are inviduals, for some people it may work to go sleep early and wake up at 4am, but for me who who has insomnia that means not sleeping at all. I have learned to find balance that works for me, and still some what goes along with our societys standards (If I could deside I would sleep 12-17pm and be wake rest of the time). Also still waiting all that money I should get, according to thos selfhelp channels, for not sleeping much 😏

[@elen5871]

lol three comments in a row sorry honestly what helped me most is dialectical behavioral therapy, which also involves mindfulness and being aware of how you're feeling and doing in the moment. a big part of it is "radical self acceptance," and just accepting that a situation makes you feel like absolute garbage and just taking a moment to recognize that so you don't act on the feeling and instead can act on, y'know, the situation lmao. so, mindfulness is good! but! I feel like mindfulness and all this self-help stuff puts the onus of feeling good on the individual when the problem is very much societal. like, i am a disabled 2spirit person. I am never gonna have a great time in the world as it is! the world needs to change before I am gonna be in a position to be as insanely enthusiastic as Gary Vee! and just accepting that, accepting that I can improve myself and be the best me I can be and then work to change the world so that other people can be the best thems they can be, that's what really did it for me. like. basically what I'm saying is communism saved my mental health lmao. edit: also, you and Kuncan Dastner are gettin patreoned when I get that monthly tugboat, you two are so on point lately.

[@nicematerial]

I would say in the hours of content I've heard, a few minutes were genuinely helpful.

[@TotoroK9]

I totally agree that the self help channels that try to preach on what EVERYONE must do to be successful or happy are so horrible and could be harmful. everyone is different. I'm someone with major depressive disorder and persistent depressive disorder (yes, there's 2 types), and what helps me depends a lot on which I'm really going through. So even if the advice helps me one time, it doesn't work on me other times. (Mindfullness helps me a lot with anxiety but does NOTHING for my depression). The mindset of hustle culture is so harmful to neuro divergent people. Telling us we won't be happy unless we work 24/7 will most certainly lead to hurt. Breaks are important for every person, even more so for people who have to fight just to wake up in the morning. Thanks for this. I'm glad you're doing well now.

[@blackgothgoddess3164]

I'm trying to get out of the 24/7 Hussle as it lead to a very dark place for me. I have a lot of health issues and if I don't stop and rest to take care of them, I crash and burn hard

[@tickledonions9483]

Not all self help is about hustling and getting 10k a day.

[@MasterEth]

Ironic how gary said how its better to be born poor than rich, yet Gary's father had a successful wine business which gary worked at for years.

[@thelastchannelonyoutube]

I like how you didn’t just argue with the most disturbing statements that some self-help channels make, but got to the heart of how we sometimes use these channels to fuel our bad habits.

[@bugaboo_daisy9000]

Imagine being Gary's employee.... *Shudders* 99% of his rhetoric sounds like him trying to convince you that if you just sell your soul to labor every second of your life the universe will reward you. And if his advice doesn't work, all he has to say is that you needed to give up more and it's your fault.

[@AttilaVoices]

He just wants everyone to become a Warhammer Servitor lol

[@SimPilotMika]

His company actually has a massive turnover rate, they’re burned out and don’t last long

[@zolalala2329]

I lost the love of my life back in November, not the same as a breakup, but similar results in a way. I lost who I was when he was alive, I can never go back. One night changed the course of my entire life. Self help stuff hasn't been incredibly helpful, I've found more wisdom and help in my friends and family. The more time I spend with the people who love me and see the good things in me, the better I feel because I start to see what they see in me. My fiance and I were together for almost 9 years total, he was only 28. It's insanely hard to even articulate how hard it's been to adjust to not having my partner and the depth of the loss. It's hard to listen to self help people talk down on everyone else, saying "you're just not trying hard enough". I don't have the energy to be talked down to, honestly.

[@firstnamelastname7244]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[@pathie]

ohhh so this was the unavailable video on my Watch Later list

[@Pinely]

I am denying everything

[@ladyvanda]

Ive been watching this channel for over 3 years, and I have to say, I love the direction it’s going. First, thank you Pinely for talking about your struggles with covid. Over the past 2 years, most online figures pretend nothing is going on and it feels like I’m the only person whose life has been completely fucked by covid. Thank you for being genuine. I also can’t believe two of my favorite youtubers, pinely and big joel, have a connection somehow. That is awesome, hoping for a collab (if possible of course :-) )

[@Manigeitora]

To be fair, a lot of creators did not talk about COVID because for a long time KZbin decided to demonetize anything but news channels that went so far as to even mention it in passing. They may have genuinely wanted to talk about it but couldn't because it would affect their livelihood.

[@DespOIcito]

@@Manigeitora ^ it got to the point where I could tell that a video was sponsored before a youtuber had gotten to their ad read because they would mention covid by name in the video instead of talking around it

[@iNabber]

hey i recognise that place

[@thedestroyasystem]

wow a checkmark getting buried in the comments? how very rare

[@nicolelewis5237]

Life just has been...an experience for everyone and I have to say, your other recent video hit hard. In the way I've been trying to do what I always have done to cope mentally. All of a sudden.. its not cutting it. In the past couple years I went from the most dependable, long-term, full-time, faithful-to-a-fault manager that worked even 75 plus hours a week to moving out of state aaaaand I've had about..8 jobs in the past year and a half alone..I'm just kinda done at this point. My kid is grown, I don't need a big house to call home. I have no plans...I know I sound kinda crackhead-ish. But I've been doing the right thing for so long...dunno if it's even the right thing anymore. Hang in there, everybody. We're all trying to deal and find ourselves and happiness... Hope we do.

[@adeer87]

I hope you are doing well 💜

[@2120musiclover]

I feel your pain on this one. Just got out of a 10.5 year thing. Sucks ass

[@fificrazyzebra7375]

That must be really hard. Hope you're doing OK

[@目は心の鏡]

“The Minimalists” are the only self help I like as they talk about the opposite of hustle culture, unless it brings you true value. Getting rid of most of my stuff has helped me find out what brings me value and what doesn’t. It’s not really self help in the normal sense it’s more of a way to stop needing self help in the first place. One you are “enough” you don’t seek constant improvement.

[@AndromedaD]

If Marie Kondo's work could be considered self-help, then yes. I seriously decluttered my life, and I need to take a pass at doing it again.

[@tiryaclearsong421]

It's a category for sure. I got into the beige youtube channels after getting into minimalism. They actually do help me a lot and I enjoy watching them. I still refuse to wear a beige uniform though. Lol.

[@alwaystired1]

for what its worth, those 40 mins of swimming where your brain is only focusing on the single task you're doing IS meditation. clearing your brain of Thoughts and just being in the present moment of what you're doing is all it takes to meditate honestly

[@KairoThePyro]

I rarely comment on videos, but I just wanted to say the last part of the video hit me hard. I've been going through the same stuff and kind of just ignoring it. Talking about how the happiness won't last forever means you know the next time you feel bad won't last forever make things seem a little brighter. I don't know if you read all the comments but it's just comforting knowing there's someone else going through the same thing as you.

[@eatdrinkstagger]

thank you for saying “the privilege of being on the grind”

[@bribrilolzOG]

Sending you love, Mr. KZbinr! 🧡 Remember that life moves in cycles and is never stagnant… if you’re at the lowest of the low the only direction you can go is high. ✨

[@stellviahohenheim]

I used to believe that, and from experience have learned that our human mind cannot even imagine what life can throw you next

[@potatoplayboy]

Also self help was something i wanted to achieve after hitting bottom. Ive had depression all my life and struggle with substance abuse and after a lot of self sabatoge and almost losing the person i loved the most, i realized i needed to change. I’m still an alcoholic but i’m no longer hard on myself and i’ve trained my brain to kick a lot of the self depreciation habits/ if theres anything i believe it’s that your brain is the key to everything and if you can rewire it through sheer will, necessity to change, or out of trauma, you absolutely can the human will is completely bizzare but i’m a lot better these days then the man i was simply a year ago. ALSO! THERAPY HELPED IMMENSELY.

[@harryathornton4463]

1:25 it’s a small part of the video but I always appreciate when creators re-establish their boundaries, and try to prevent viewers from forming parasocial relationships

[@rohitchaoji]

For all the grinding and hustling and working nonstop Gary Vee does, he sure has a lot of time to record himself and speak on podcasts.

[@joshuagreen818]

That's because he counts that as part of his grind

[@loganlockhart8749]

The Sisyphus55 KZbin channel that actually deals with a lot of these issues through philosophy. I can't help but think of his channel after watching this video and the short film. Much love pinely

[@kingofravens215]

They definitely should collab that would be really cool

[@bananawitchcraft]

As someone who wakes up at 2-3 pm any time I can get away with it, I just wanna point out it's not always laziness. I have neurological problems that interfere with my sleep cycle. Also I've heard that some people are naturally predisposed to having weird sleep schedules, because throughout human history it was evolutionarily advantageous for some members of the group to be up at night watching out for danger. Never fact-checked this but it seems logical

[@Saibellus]

while the reason for it is still debated, it is a fact that there are many people whose circadian rhythms do not follow the typical daylight hours. regardless of purpose, it's weird to shame people whose biology may very well "prefer" sleeping 4am-2pm.

[@Manigeitora]

@@Saibellus I saw a documentary once about a guy who was self-employed and basically just lived a schedule of being awake for 4 hours and sleeping for 2, 4 times a day. Basically impossible to manage working anything other than self-employed, but he knew how his body worked and optimized his life around it, rather than fighting his natural body chemistry to fit in with an arbitrary time frame. Sadly a lot of people don't work in industries where self-employment is a viable option, but it's a good example of a lifestyle that some may seem as "lazy" when he was just living the way that worked best for him.

[@AttilaVoices]

I used to have a decent sleep cycle, then i started to work and worked night shifts too, then i became security in a casino where a bunch of scumbags frequented. So your theory for being awake, watching for danger at night time, is a factor for me that i can't sleep properly, plus that i continued to work night shifts too. Some just keep falling into these cycles and there's a reason for it... plus the term "Night Owl" is a thing for a reason lol

[@megapiglatin2574]

@@Manigeitora Ugh the life! 🙌 In college I worked a relatively flexible job that was largely independent work and I had 24/7 access to the building. This enabled me to let my body find its optimal schedule (which is NOT a “normal” schedule) and I landed on something similar. I would go to bed at about 7pm, wake up between 3-4am, ride my bike and get some good outdoor exploration time in, then it was home, clean a little and have breakfast, short nap, and then work and/or school. Some days I had slight alterations to my schedule due to some obligation, but it was a largely stable schedule and worked incredibly well for me!

[@Waywardwindfall]

Pre-grem theory there was a belief that the night air caused illness. Miasma theory is what it’s called. That stigma still plagues us night owls. I finally found a 3rd shift job that works with my sleep pattern.

[@AbbyBlackbird]

Struthless is the bees knees. He’s not pretentious. When the shut down originally the best piece of advice that my dad gave me was to keep learning. Continuing to learn thing and educate myself in various ways. Pinterest of all places was a great place to start. Infographics for days. When it comes down to it, It’s gaining all the tools and using the ones that work for you.

[@MarideMari82]

My only goal when I started my own business was to work as little as possible. Work smart not hard is a much better idea than the crazy Gary Vee hustle. Life is about creating beautiful memories, not making millions.

[@trala8911]

It’s so strange to me that people struggle during self-isolation. As a “super introvert” (which is kind of like a regular introvert but riddled with added social anxiety), anytime I get to lock myself away from the world for a week or two is like finally breathing fresh air after being stuck under a double duvet with an active tear gas grenade.

[@megapiglatin2574]

Hahaha I’m with you! Lockdowns certainly had an impact on certain aspects of my life, and my schedule unfortunately crashed and burned because I could no longer do my weekly volunteer work that was apparently holding the rest of the schedule in place, plus other than that not socializing and/or having a reason to be avoidant of people was a damn godsend!

[@cozygoblin]

As someone whose been in therapy for years and done "self-help", I think the biggest problem with self-help is that there is no one to keep you accountable to actually doing something. Like you said at the end, instead of doing anything a person can get caught up learning about self help! Whereas, my therapist keeps my accountable for whether I have actually done anything to improve whatever problem I'm complaining about. I think a lot of the tools recommended by self help ppl are good (and even my therapist recommends the same) but being accountable to yourself is incredibly hard. I hate how self help crosses over into entrepreneurship and making money though. It should be about mental wellbeing and satisfaction in life, not about how to make money better. Hope you feel better over your breakup soon. I love the divine comedy of you living out your script.

[@gilly_axolotl]

I feel like this is the first time that I can say this and I never usually noticed this, but I quite liked the choice of background music for this video because it helped keep it more interesting rather than depressing

[@thekambIer]

This is a great video topic. I’ve seen lots of these channels, and they’ve always seemed off to me. Glad to see another upload from you =)

[@ellekim2617]

That cycle of feeling safe in self help being a new procrastinating habit really solidified what I was dealing with when I left college before I graduated.

[@AzriusN]

Wow, I wasn't aware my sleep disorder means I'm predisposed to being rich.

[@AzriusN]

Seriously though, that second channel's video should really just be replaced with "CITATION NEEDED"

[@Reed5016]

“You’re all a bunch of strangers.” Thanks bro.

[@biggestfan.]

I live every moment of my life in a natural state of conscious awareness due to OCD. While it can sometimes be a boon I find it hinders me more than most would think. A constant state of awareness is a constant state of suffering. There are two sides of every philosophy.

[@pewpewenthusiast1607]

Damn, feeling better in the UK will be challenging. After 7 years in London I'm ready to plan my exit, mental health, burnout, loneliness you name it. Good on you if you really adapt! Not easy.

[@kookiespace]

Oh man I hope you're doing ok :P But also god damn that realisation about being "stuck in your own script". Fucking shivers down my back. I've felt that. It's so cosmic and surreal

[@Pinely]

The pinned comment is still relevant to now :) been doing really well since I posted this video and I think that time in my life helped me figure out a lot about myself

[@r-pupz7032]

I used to work in psychiatry and we would get people who saw the self help message, and even if it didn't fully work, assumed we had some kind of magic bullet answer. Unfortunately, it often takes time and a mixture of many factors to treat mental illness, depending on the unique person/illness - they may need to try different medications, various types of therapy, support from social workers, addiction specialists, occupational therapists etc, join support groups, use their own support network, change personal behaviours & more. We have many tools available and can often transform our patients' lives, but it takes time, and effort, and can involve many different professionals and approaches. The quick fix magic bullet super simplistic approach sometimes makes it harder for patients to accept the reality of the journey we want to go on with them, and they drop out of treatment despite there being a good chance of really helping them. It's super sad when that happens. The same applies if you aren't clinically unwell but are going through a touch spot. Medication and psychotherapy might not be needed (although therapy isn't just for mental illness, and can be hugely helpful for all kinds of people) but there isn't going to be a magic bullet. It takes time, and sometimes you may need to change your behaviour or use simple tools like self-guided CBT, but the most overlooked factor (IMO) is time, and support from loved ones, if possible.

[@banquetoftheleviathan1404]

One thing that would help is if there was actually a centralized data base for records. Honestly thought that was standard so my mind was pretty blown when my new doctor asked me to prove i had adhd after all the experimenting they did on me growing up. All that time wasted just cuz some doctors moved or whatever. I even went to johns hopkins at one point. All that money down the drain.

[@user-xd7dt6gr8l]

Mentioning how swimming helped you was a really great addition, and I think it should be encouraged people find a place like that to clear their heads. When people bring up meditation a lot of people picture the stereotypical sitting criss cross on a yoga mat with their eyes closed for 4 hours with ocean sounds or something playing. This works for some people and if it works for you that's great!! But meditation imo covers a much broader area than people think, I think the way you described swimming is exactly what meditation is supposed to feel like, it's just your way of meditating. For me my strongest meditation strategy is the times I ride as a passenger on my grandpa's motorcycle, it sounds insane to some people but once you're used to riding them driving for hours in rural country roads through just nature in the open air is one of the most grounding things you can imagine, at least for me. A car ride with the window down doesn't even come close, there's just something intensely grounding about those motorcycle rides. I struggle with mental disorders, my thoughts are almost always controlled via OCD, dissociative, paranoid/psychotic and trauma disorders. Day to day I'm constantly dealing with intrusive thoughts and dissociative episodes attacking from different places in my head, it's exhausting. I can't enjoy going on a walk because my hyper vigilance is always at the forefront of my mind, I've walked past stop signs where a car had to stop next to me, and was flooded with adrenaline, I had to resist the urge to run because I thought I was going to be shot. If I'm walking in the woods, and there's any other person, they could've not even seen me and I'd be convinced they were following me. The motorcycle rides somehow erase all of that for a moment, I feel like my head is completely clear, its like taking a breath of fresh air for the first time in months or years. Meditation is seriously so so important, it just takes finding what does it for you! I preach the value of having an outlet for your emotions, I do a LOT of art, but finding a space free from even thinking about negative things is equally vital.

[@blueblank8287]

“Have you ever noticed how those who are bad with money can never seem to keep ahold of it?” …Have I ever noticed how people who are bad with money… are bad with money? Like, I get based on context that they’re trying to work backwards and equate *all* people who don’t ever seem to have enough money with people who are irresponsible or sloppy with their funds, despite that obviously not being true, but… that’s just it. They’re doing it backwards.

[@Reioa]

I got ghosted by my girlfriend of several years at the start of the pandemic and I haven't heard from her since. It's been real rough, it gets better

[@pinkimietz3243]

Be positive! Maybe she died.

[@kenshix7902]

I ghosted all my friends too

[@oneofmanygoogleaccountsima4221]

“health is really important” but also “sleep less to be richer!!” WHAT 😭 do they know. about how bad sleep deprivation is for health

[@randallvance1299]

Damn bro, that's all very intense of what you've been through. You mention that none of us know you, and that's true, but as one creator to another I commend you for keeping up the good fight and all. Don't keep bad for taking a break, you're fuckin killing it and your stuff is great! :)

[@AM-tl1xi]

I also love watching Big Joel and being in the Hog Zone, oink. Regarding self help, I think the only 2 channels that have helped me is MuchelleB and The Financial Diet (less so because a lot of the advice is obviously USA focused and I don’t live there). A lot of self help is male dominated and as you said rely on HEY YOU IDIOT, I KNOW BETTER, FOLLOW MY ADVICE. I like when people explain to me why x works or can work. It’s funny you mention minimalism because a few years ago I started watching some channels about it and started feeling really bad for having stuff and not living this elevated minimal lifestyle. I’m glad I realised I was just feeling bad over something I don’t even want to change. I like my knick knacks, I like having colourful art on my walls, I like being able to wear clothes in different styles according to my mood. Capsule wardrobes are at least for now not for me. I think anyone who has struggled with mental health for a relatively long time like I do, it’s so tempting to blame ourselves and try to implement every thing that gets recommended. Even more when you’re a perfectionist. It’s easy to think that there’s an optimal version of ourselves and that we just have to try hard enough to get there. I agree with you that having someone relate to us is a good feeling. I was diagnosed as an adult with ADHD and have noticed that there’s some self help “rules” that I actually benefit from avoiding. We’re not supposed to buy things for self help but what if having a pair of scissors and a step to reach high things I’m every room smoothes thing over? Watching the channel How to ADHD and hearing Jessica say things that work for her allowed me to try things out. routines are SO ESSENTIAL, HERE ARE 50 STEPS, but as much as I like chilling on the couch with a nice mug of tea and my cat, that makes leaving the house harder. Sorry for my rambles, it’s an area I think a lot about.

[@ddjsoyenby]

agreed.

[@Numptaloid]

out of the 50 million titles you chose for this video "Why self help channels seem to just make you feel worse" is certianly the best one

[@beksfue5937]

I found out about Alux because a relative began sending me their videos non-stop during the pandemic... He lost his wife, his children's love and respect, and most of his savings because he let his friend of FOUR MONTHS, who just happened to be a labor(?) lawyer who also did divorces, and his own friggin mistress convince him that his wife was cheating on him. So yeah, that's a good hint about what kind of people actually listen to that advice.

[@adv78]

As a self-help i used to watch years ago once said: "the act of watching self-help won't solve your problems. its like you're in a war and all you do is stay inside the castle sharpening your sword. You dont need 10 videos on 'how to socialize', you may need some level of guidance, and then go try it, even if it fails, its better than watching self-help all day"

[@j.p.animates7]

This reminds me of when I was 16 and going through horrible depression and my dad's way to deal with that was to buy me a bunch of self-help books for my birthday (instead of, you know, going to a therapist's) and after reading through about 5 pages of one of them I was like "hahaha no thank you"

[@hoffinator88]

Nice to hear another side of the “hustle mentality”. Thank you Pinely :D

[@highbread817]

Re-upload? What happened Since I watched this video yesterday I've had Gary Vee stuck in my head being annoying AF so yeah thanks for that

[@Pinely]

I don't know what you're talking about

[@nicematerial]

Oh by the way I hope you feel better by the day man. Thanks for sharing and I really hope you continue to find things that do work. Music always seems like a corny IDEA but the right music can do more in the short term (for me) than anything

[@nicematerial]

(but not that f*****g piano music)

[@Lgx-ie4if]

People who spend their young life on the “grind” end up depressed by 60 wishing they enjoyed being young

[@maggotlord7934]

what really helps me: continuing to age and gain more experiences, meet more people, hear more stories. love ya pinely

[@draculactica]

Thanks to pinely's self help channel, I know that watching all of the channel awesome anniversary videos in a row is a good idea

[@MysteriousKammm]

Ive watched the video yet so i don't know if you mentioned it, but self help is very often an entrance to the world of pseudoscience and conspiracies. Of coursenot everyone will fall in that rabbit hole but it happen so often?

[@ashetrash9534]

I really appreciate this video and I'm really glad you talked about alternative self-help, because I feel like I've fallen into that inspoporn trap so many times. I think I'm always scared to do things, and more important than that, I'm always scared when I do things it will only last 1-2 weeks, as will the feeling of achievement and happiness I get from doing whatever that is. Honestly, I don't have an answer, and I know its okay not to, but it still feels bad ya know? I really liked what you said in the end, that while you're feeling good right now, you know it won't last forever but neither will the next sad period, and it felt good to hear that. I really like watching your videos and I like how much thought you put into what you make and what you say, and I like how different this video was in particular, it was like a little check-in, and kind of helped me do some mental inventory myself.

[@fromthesnow1529]

Just found your channel and I’m obsessed 😍 I know what I’m doing the rest of the day now, binging tf out of your channel

[@brettboswell19]

I’m just now finding your channel and obviously I’m so late to this video but I’m so sorry you went through such a rough time here. I 100% feel you with the covid isolations, I had to be quarantined 4x in a row too while I was a full time student and fuck yeah it was worse and worse each time, and during the last time my dog died so you bet I lost my mind for a bit - having the ability to see your current videos while working backwards I’m fr so glad that you found your rhythm again, you obviously care about putting in the work to develop your career and it shows in your content! Even though I don’t know you I’m proud of you, much love 🫶🏼

[@killerqueendopamine]

The end segment where you talked about not feeling happy forever but also that means feeling bad won’t last forever-that hits close to home. It’s something I’ve been working toward understanding and using to my advantage to cultivate a more fulfilling life. I don’t like the concept of “happy”, that it’s the mood or state of mind we are all aspiring to be in. The truth is all emotions and feelings and moods are fleeting, ephemeral moments. Good and bad. We can aspire to moments of joy though and take solace in knowing there’s a way out on the other side of the bad days and feelings.

[@kseniav586]

Hey Pinely, I think it's one of your best videos and I really like the more serious stuff you've been doing recently. (Also it should be a real crime to be so good-looking). Wish you all the orange juice in the world and hope you feel better soon!

[@JLB0880]

You aren’t an idiot, you are an extremely intelligent man. Watching creators like you, Big Joel, and the entire lot is my form of self help. I Ive never come to the end one of your videos without learning something or gaining a new perspective, which makes me a more well rounded person. Thank you for all the hard work you put into these videos.

[@RepLicanT00100]

Respect! ✊🏼 Thank you for NOT sharing your personal details in regards to the break up. That stuff I believe should stay between the people involved and know one else . ESPECIALLY not the whole internet. Namaste 🙏🏻

[@RaxiazRedux]

missed content, bro. love the style. Keep the videos coming, could listen to you talk about literally anything.

[@nonprofitgirl]

Loved this, Orr. I really needed it right now. Thank you so much! Congrats on your short film! 😘

[@ddjsoyenby]

great vid pinely as someone with d3pr3ss10n, anxiety and ocd as well as other issues i really h@t3 these bs "self help" channels, and alux f them as a poor person everything they say is wrong.

[@kenshix7902]

Yo seems like you are on the verge of being banned on KZbin. Censorship sucks

[@colinjohnson2655]

Just wanted to say thanks for making this video. I've been going through a rough patch myself and this video honestly made me feel less alone, your thoughts at the end of the video really encouraged me.

[@LegolassGirlfriend]

Yes my mom who works three jobs is the laziest person i know…She can’t even sleep because of stress ffs. I can’t stand channels like these. 🙃

[@mf2276]

First I saw you wearing DOOM merch and now I think I hear Books of War in the back? PINELY I AM OBSESSED WITH YOU

[@archagenteverlasting1239]

I'm proud of you. You've gone through so much pain but you're still here. Keep going. I believe in you and am supporting you 100%.

[@marybibik]

This video was great, I've really loved your content recently, it's been really thoughtful. I hate to hear you've been struggling, I've been there the last year too. Your content is something that brightens my life though, and this video made me feel better.

[@carolinam1573]

That Alux channel, Jesus. I came across it once. Totally evil vibe indeed.

[@ezra5500]

Hey, I'm proud of you for taking time for yourself and letting yourself get better. Seeing that itself is encouraging.

[@MsHildur90]

I really enjoy your channel, and I couldn't help but relate to the things you been going through! Feeling empty for no reason is my life half of the time! =P Getting help and knowing how to deal with it helps me a lot. Also a song be Orla Gartland named You're not Special, Babe! =D

[@ripple329]

I did a 10 day Vipassana a few years ago and it really did feel like the longest and most emotional thing ever, if not just for the fact that it brought attention to how much my brain craves constant, mindless stimulation and it made me feel stupid and mad at myself. My bf at the time asked me to go and I was still pretty young, and I think if I had known how uncomfortable it would be I wouldn’t have even gone. I have adhd so maybe my experience was different than others, but I felt pretty proud of myself for making it to the end and have yet to return, probably because I know now and it’s not just another new experience to look forward to. It was an experience I’m very grateful for but if someone asked me my feedback I’d be honest and tell them it sucked in the moment with delayed gratification. But hearing people romanticize things that are actually hard just because they accomplished it and want to feel like better people than they are just makes others like myself feel like I’m doing a bad job at human-ing and it’s not motivating.

[@Talentedtadpole]

Congrats on top level humaning 🎉

[@Incrediblugh]

Pinely being in my uni town feels like the worlds strangest crossover ahah hope u had a nice time in Pompey!!

[@hanpedunkten]

I had a moment like you were living your own script, way back when the Sims 1 was out and I was playing to avoid bleak feelings before having to work... and in the game I had to play a game before work in the game to avoid depression in the game. I turned it off snd could never really get into sims again.

[@fificrazyzebra7375]

Hope you're doing OK life can be hard qt times. I'm chronically ill and I've been struggling for the last year on what my purpose was and how to make my life feel like I'm worth something. You'd think after years I will have figured it out but it's hard sometimes. It can be so lonely and sadly feeling crap makes you pull away from people which can make things worse. I've found life has a flow of things sometimes the deepest troughs makes the peaks feel worth it. But when we're trudging away to get there it feels like you're so far away from what what want rather than how far you have come. Sadly these days social media is all about success, pushing through etc making us all feel inadequate. Time on your own makes you think about everything more and ruminate. I do hope you're doing OK and getting to a better place.

[@carolin2544]

One of those self "help" clowns should fund a study where they have to pay for personnel (plus expenses like groceries) for a thousand poor families for at least three years and see whether they magically become super rich.

[@ReturnToSenderz]

It’s so gross when they talk about poor people not having money because they don’t work for it. A lot of “poor” people work full-time and have part-time work on top of that, and they still have to decide which bills get paid on time. The main issue isn’t “$4 coffee;” the main issue is that their jobs don’t pay a living wage even when they have two or three of them.

[@obi-wan-pierogi]

I feel self help tips are the same as tips on how to deal with mental health, any content made about the topic should be framed as your personal experience with it and not legitimate advice. Make sure to tell the audience that it helped you but may not be helpful for everyone. The problem with most self help stuff is they frame it as “ this WILL help you!” Instead “ maybe try this it may help you” and that’s very disingenuous.