Set 5, Game 14 [13.07.22] - No More Jockeys with Alex Horne, Tim Key + Mark Watson

No More Jockeys is a game created by Alex Horne, Tim Key and Mark Watson.
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✔ HOW TO PLAY
On each turn, players name a person plus a relevant category - that person and category are then forbidden. If you're caught naming someone who falls under any previous category, you're out of the game.
★ MERCHANDISE
nomorejockeys.com
★ PLAYERS
• Alex Horne: watch Taskmaster and The Horne Section TV Show on Channel 4: channel4.com/p... + channel4.com/p...
• Tim Key: Mulberry - on tour: www.plosive.co...
• Mark Watson: This Can't Be It - on tour: www.markwatson...
♫ MUSIC
La Boutique fantasque (Respighi)
► VIDEO
Alex Horne + Haiminh Le
#AlexHorne #TimKey #MarkWatson

[@NoMoreJockeys]

Horne and Watson are on 5 each: we are DOWNTOWN.

[@cyberwomble7524]

Is porridge not a cereal ye sassenach?

[@horsejohnson7959]

5 5 5 is Downtown You're in the suburbs wearing ladies shirts

[@derf2205]

@@horsejohnson7959 no 5 5 x is downtown, 5 5 5 is the bridge

[@ByteMe619]

the funny thing is we are two more leaders down the line by the time it’s come out

[@horsejohnson7959]

Is it still WEF Rishi working on behalf of other nations?

[@BodywiseMustard]

"funny"

[@barnaclefelching4079]

​@@BodywiseMustard"simply hilarious"

[@dylanm6287]

Big fan of Horne begging Key to continue playing the game while Key continues to loudly mimic an auctioneer. Don't mind it at all.

[@ZaphodTHEBeeblebrox]

horne worrying about the Weeping Angel toilet while key screamed auctions bids was amazing

[@ebonycrawford2713]

THE WEEPING ANGEL TOILET!! 🤣😂🤣😂

[@rkah6187]

@@ebonycrawford2713 I'm weeping now from laughter 😂

[@Sam-wv4fz]

Made me cackle I tell you. (they did and your comment did too).

[@BodywiseMustard]

​@@ebonycrawford2713Give it a rest, fucking hell.

[@alantrotter]

Astonishing that H.W. Smith was someone who decided his name 'made more sense' reversed.

[@csurname]

via reproduction

[@horsejohnson7959]

Who what when where, it should be WH

[@pooroldnostradamus]

@@horsejohnson7959Hwæt do you mean?

[@Sam-wv4fz]

Unless he named it after his son, in which case Key wold have been well out of order to walk

[@dralfredcarroll9567]

A rare example of Mark Watson singing a song without ending with a loud “AH” or “hoy hoy hoy”.

[@gryrabild]

A rare occasion where I think both Horne and Key could have dug in further without me minding it. Very sportsmanlike showcase, however. Good on you, lads!

[@mertaksac9718]

"They'll be two leaders on by the time this goes out" ..... Is Key from the future?

[@jinxthepetrock]

Key made me audibly gasp with that premonition. What else does he know?

[@bek3535]

Love Key quoting Mark’s stand up

[@TannerLikesStuff]

the two minutes after Key introduced Charlie Ross is pure Jockeys chaos and I was howling

[@paulquaife7974]

Good to see horsegate has not been forgotten by Mark

[@hannahl8]

It says "cereal" on my box of oatmeal & oatmeal was invented in ancient Egypt. Wish Key hadn't walked. Although I am biased, I love him to bits.

[@mceajc]

Surprised that the conversation never wandered into "are porage oats breakfast cereal?" territory. Still, I didn't mind the chat that was had at all.

[@BodywiseMustard]

porridge

[@mrugod]

Please never stop doing this

[@jamesen01]

KEY - JUST PLAY A SENSIBLE ONE WHEN YOU HAVE A CHANCE TO WIN MAN!

[@karltaylor4731]

Key has to defeat himself before he can defeat Horne and Watto.

[@mollyp7559]

@@karltaylor4731 The same can be said for all of us.

[@joeleonard406]

heartbreaking for the people of luton to have been relocated to hertfordshire

[@jackalexander102]

or an early christmas gift?

[@stevemoisan]

Was really hoping Alex would have done an In Game Relocation to the porta-potty.

[@laurapolly5419]

When you think about it you guys are just lovely. Thanks for the continued madness. Happy weekend BTL ⭐️❤️

[@bluejadeblue]

love the framed still from See How They Run in Key's background

[@NoukSilver]

Ooh, that's a sharp eye! Tis a nice film indeed. Key is almost unrecognisable as the commissioner. So serious. Such tiny specs.

[@bluejadeblue]

@@NoukSilver he did a brilliant job,, had me cracking up every time he was on screen LOL

[@leona6455]

Yes he was perfectly cast. Great stuff.

[@PaddyRoon7]

"W.H Smith" "That's one of the few people said today that I've been inside." Horne's jokes are perfect lol

[@anyalazor7978]

18:15 This episode of NMJ should've been called 'Good atmosphere, one toilet', if NMJ episodes had names in the style of Taskmaster.

[@anyalazor7978]

2:51 Tim: They'll be two leaders on by the time this goes out. Wow, I didnt know Tim had a talent for predicting the future. But I'm not surprised, to be honest, cos Tim is Tim. And that's that.

[@Musicmakertom]

“The longest silence ever in No More Jockeys” absolutely sent me 😂

[@BodywiseMustard]

Easily pleased

[@ebonycrawford2713]

The chaos that starts at 8:14 ... I couldn't breathe. I was right there with Watto 🤣

[@jinxthepetrock]

I would very much like a shirt like Watto is wearing. Very very much indeed. And seriously, how does this show just keep getting funnier? I love it all!

[@sarika.h]

Category Spoilers Penny Crayon no more shown painting/drawing Paul Elmer More no more names with ‘no’, ‘more’, or ‘jockeys’ Geoff Capes no more namesakes Charlie Ross/David Dickinson no more auctioneers Moses no more never eaten cereal Tanita Tikaram no more lead vocalists Roger “The Dodger” Dawson no more shown in comic strip format Harper Lee no more names “making more sense” reversed Graeme Swann no more shown wearing white trousers ~ shown in comic strip … Horne out William Henry Smith no more names depicted large on high streets ~ never ate cereal … Key out Watson wins Set 5 Game 14

[@benkolya]

When it's actually written out you realise how few people/categories are called. That's a lot of toilet chat

[@MrBizification]

The toilet delivery guy must have spotted Horne, thinking him to be quite the recluse. Sorry, I mean referee.

[@oceaux2392]

"That's Bollocks Office" has just entered my vocabulary

[@tr1ckster]

When you think about it, “if you want” adds a whole new dimension to the game.

[@leona6455]

My favourite thing in the world is Watto losing his 💩 entirely at Key's demented auctioneer shtick...Key in flying form today. Love this game and hope it never ends ❤️

[@lukeshackleton6282]

Lee Harper was the player/manager for Kettering town during our run to the third round of the fa cup in 2009. Also, Save Weekley Hall Wood, when you think about it

[@BudBonkerson]

A second toilet has hit the temporary kitchen

[@bmamurphy]

I can’t believe Key walked, after there was overlap on the actual W.H.Smith, it was too perfect to walk on that

[@VinceCaramel]

Horne painfully close to being able to say the funniest four words in existence "let that sink in". There's always Set 5 Game 15.

[@TheYorkRose]

I was really hoping they said it, because it would be ten times funnier (like the two leaders thing) if they said it months ago before all the Elon stuff added fresher and more hilarious context to a classic

[@emmajean8631]

Big fan of Alex's ceiling light

[@MB-xw1tu]

I miss seeing horne's wallpaper

[@rkah6187]

@@MB-xw1tu I miss Watto's wallpaper from the first set. It's absolutely lovely.

[@darrenharman3362]

Luton is in Bedfordshire.

[@snr0n]

Definitely didn't mind that Charlie Chalk reference, given that I was watching this over dinner from my local Indian place, whose name I always sing in the style of that particular theme song: Chandni Chowk. Also, surely an orc-shun is something done by fantasy racists. Aside from the madness of not recognising cereals have been consumed for thousands of years and that Moses himself was bound to have had a go on some, this was a very solid game, thanks lads!

[@JamesCalbraith]

Does oatmeal count as breakfast cereal? Because that's much earlier than Granula.

[@BodywiseMustard]

Yes. If eaten at breakfast. Oat is a cereal.

[@chriskaprys]

Zebras and tigers and turtles, oh my!

[@BankFrederick-gk3nj]

amazing footage

[@wikiwikiwa]

We had "Simon in the land of chalk drawings" when i was young

[@ben1210]

Getting strong Dalek vibes from the reproducing toilet

[@bencarter6947]

Holy moly! Key peels his citrus fruits like me. I’m in some grand company.

[@katofginger2926]

So very much excited for the live show coming soon 😆

[@VonBlade]

14:58 Pollock et al. Hell 90% of modern art is using non-brush application methods.

[@jamesen01]

Horne doubting the existence of Penny Crayon, even though she's been in the game before. This guy

[@drumlightable]

I thought she was just about to do taskmaster but I'd mixed up Jenny Eclair and Su Pollard

[@TheCountrysider]

“WELL IN THAT CASE PUT A SPOON THROUGH YOUR BALDING HAIR”

[@sackclothandashes998]

We all want Key to win a set, but does Key want Key to win a set?

[@bearhustler]

Luton ! I thought it was Wheathampstead (especially as Luton is in Bedfordshire)

[@ZaphodTHEBeeblebrox]

mark is human karaoke machine. he knows so many songs!

[@liamjohnson1783]

noooooooo. for a second there i thought Key was safe

[@mrSam3ooo]

He went for WH Smith, found out the founder of WH Smith is HW Smith, found out he was son to WH Smith, found out WH Smith lived when breakfast cereal had already been invented. And still walked 😫

[@rkah6187]

It's like surviving plane crash unscathed just to step willingly in front of a truck a moment later... Key should not have walked on this

[@BodywiseMustard]

You're forgetting the category "Name makes sense the other way around".

[@aenamabag]

I think Henry Hoover would disagree with Alex's suggestion that he doesn't have the lyrics to any song in his head.

[@gabriellag2611]

Bouncer the dog has entered the discussion

[@marskristin]

That satsumaface looked a whoooole lot like That Key Face (You Know The One). 🚽

[@jodd5534]

i nearly lost an eye when watto stood up waving that truncheon around

[@glester-smith4569]

Time for a game of “Which NMJ contestant is my nine year old son referring to whilst watching over my shoulder?” - It has a song-🎵Who is he talking about? Did they win or were they out? I say, who is he talking about? Let’s not scream and shout. Who is he talking about? Is that filler or is it grout? Who is he talking about??!🎵 ‘Ooohh he looks like Henry VIiI’ Who is he talking about?

[@bearhustler]

TIMKEY !🎶

[@leona6455]

Don't mind it

[@ethanwatkins6780]

obviously key

[@pemo2676]

this is a very good game and also adds to the growing list of who timmy looks like

[@MB-xw1tu]

Is it me, or does anyone else think maybe Horne has been getting household furnishings from the Taskmaster set (Bread)

[@Sam-wv4fz]

Key and I both thought of the argument that cereal being inside a store = store having eaten the cereal at the same time.

[@simonbennett9687]

When you think about it, it makes total sense that Osstralians say Oction.

[@BodywiseMustard]

Strayns*

[@charlieross3170]

Never heard of him

[@JessicaRainbow]

Larpak? You're doing well to be able to afford that!

[@prinpi]

Excuse me but... Gluten??

[@neilmeadowcroft7569]

In game toilet relocation.

[@flywithguy_]

Is Charlie Ross a motor ricing raider?

[@nebifn8817]

funny how they kind of blend into one person

[@milowhittaker9739]

YAY NMJ

[@Toastwig]

24:10 name another....

[@RefnRes]

I can't believe Horne and Watto don't know about Penny Crayon.

[@davidhanna2790]

Especially when she's booked to appear on Taskmaster

[@RefnRes]

@@davidhanna2790 Nah you're mixing up Jenny Eclair with Su Pollard.

[@247MS1]

Can't believe either of them walked. Horne as that's not a cartoon strip, and Watto's out of time so can't look anything else up, before Key finding out Smith could have feasibly eaten cereal - and not even very tenuously at that!

[@slothconnell3579]

'You don't want to get a reputation' says a man with a terrible reputation for not walking.

[@CocktailCommunist]

Surprised that nobody questioned if porridge was a breakfast cereal.

[@BodywiseMustard]

Porridge is definitively cereal, eaten at times including breakfast.

[@LB-zb2bb]

Porridge not cerial? That's thousands years old

[@bearhustler]

Has anyone phoned a number and got 'special help' ?

[@oscarhorne9145]

W H Smith’s son had the same name and died in 1895, Key robbed here.

[@MrKook78]

Penny Crayon...can draw anything she likes

[@no_one_of_that_name_here]

It's a cartoon. Not a comic strip.

[@Five-lines-of-something]

OCK-SHN! /Straya

[@BankFrederick-gk3nj]

what the fuck is this compression alg

[@richardparsons9041]

Where are we on porridge/ oatmeal as a cereal? It’s base is a cereal crop. Would have dug in on this but respect the civil nature of these morning sessions. Probably a different outcome if it was a whiteball game.

[@NoukSilver]

I think the difference is that porridge and oatmeal are made purely from oats, and cereal can be made from any type of grain and is usually tampered with (f'rinstance by baking it or adding sugar). The tampering is what makes it such a late invention. Btw, I thought John Kellogg was the inventor, but he just sold cornflakes to stop women from getting the horn or sth.

[@noahmiller91]

You've given t to put money on wh smith having some porridge surely!?

[@henrymarwood2830]

I'm nowhere near first but I don't mind it, just glad to be here for the game

[@Scottymol]

When you think about it, Keys is a poet yet really quite bad at rhyming.

[@digs3906]

It's great work by all, but I do think watto needs to be checked for fleas. Worried about his hands itching all over. Hands off your face!

[@MrMackay64]

Key should’ve dug in. The lad says WH Smith, the son is the WH Smith of the entire operation, cereal comes out 2 years before he’s born - bosh.

[@Sam-wv4fz]

but did HW Smith reverse his initials for the name or did the name come directly from his son? Key question

[@Plushofob]

No more Black Metal guitarists? You are really limiting yourselves

[@marcgorter8651]

Last night, I had a dream about Watson. In the dream, I was at my parents' house, chatting with them in the livingroom. I get up and walk to the window to see Mark appear way down the street with, whom I assume is, his girlfriend. He waves. They have quite the pace, they seem to be arguing. As they approach, I can hear they are indeed arguing. Apparently, they went to the wrong house, embarrassed themselves, and it was Mark's fault. No, it wasn't. Yes, it was. No, it wasn't. Mark's expression throughout this argument is the same befuddled look he had throughout his time on Taskmaster. They enter the house and are happy to be here. Mark quotes Greg Davies or some TM contestant about watching TM - I can't remember the exact line, so I'll paraphrase: "It's always curious, when entering (or peeking into) a person's home, to wonder how they watch Taskmaster together... So, where do you watch TM together?" I respond: "We do not watch TM together." Mark and his girlfriend give this utterly shocked look, unable to comprehend what I had just said. And then I woke up.

[@carolinemorland3546]

Luton...in Hertfordshire. Ummmmmmmm🤦🤦‍♀

[@bearhustler]

It's very nearly in Herts and as a Herts-dweller I don't mind it (though I thought they were talking about Wheathampstead which is in Herts)

[@Williamwerenberg]

Horne is toast!

[@torravengael4490]

Does Mark Watson have shingles or some other type of disease that makes him itchy?

[@sarika.h]

he’s just fidgety, needs a spin ring or fidget spinner, when it all started he held a pen but BTL complained

[@NoukSilver]

I will not have this type of fidget slander! *mopes in ADHD*

[@torravengael4490]

@@sarika.h Ah, makes sense. Thanks.

[@MB-xw1tu]

@@sarika.h Yeah that made me feel bad because I require fidgeting (usually on a larger scale... e.g. Way back in the oldish newen days when I was in highschool (90's) teachers used to just tell me to sit in the back so it didn't distract anyone else and ignored my wiggling, standing and fidgeting because it wasn't hurting anyone)

[@sarika.h]

@@MB-xw1tu not sure what I said that made you feel bad, Mark is a fidgety guy, that is fact, nothing wrong with being fidgety, I apologize for making you feel bad, certainly was not my intention to make anyone feel bad or uncomfortable

[@crackedcookies]

this is boring