Change your Life in 3 Steps | Re-Write your Story through Narrative Identity - Shadé Zahrai

What differentiates those who bounce back from hardship versus those who get stuck in a pit of despair? It often comes down to the story that they tell themselves about the situation.
We construct our reality based on the stories we tell ourselves and others about our lives - it’s called ‘Narrative Identity’ (McAdams, 2018).
People who believe their lives are meaningful tend to tell stories defined by growth, communion & hope - these are called ‘redemptive stories’. But those who aren’t able to move on and have ‘become’ their experiences tend to tell what’s called ‘contamination stories’, focussed on how difficult and tragic their lives are.
Even making small story edits to our personal narratives has been found to have a huge impact on our lives.
NOTE: This is not about trying to Ctrl + Z parts of your life. We’re not denying what’s happened to us, or trying to change the past - although sometimes that does seem far easier…
What we ARE doing is changing the meaning we apply to events to change the story we tell. We’re redefining challenges as growth opportunities and finding hope in the despair.
Because when you re-write your story, you upgrade your identity.
When you upgrade your identity, you change your future.
--------
🚀FREE TRAINING- Career Clarity: www.shadezahrai.com/cct-regis...
To find out more about Shadé, visit the website: www.shadezahrai.com
FOLLOW ON SOCIAL:
• Instagram: / shadezahrai
• TikTok: / shadezahrai
• Facebook: / shadezahraispeaker
• LinkedIn: / shadezahrai

[@kasondaleigh]

Whenever I feel like my life is punishing me, I just try to think of myself in comparison to other victims and I see how lucky I really am. I haven’t watched my children starve to death, I don’t have to walk a mile for clean water and I haven’t been forced into a refugee camp. Things could always be MUCH worse and somehow reminding myself that other people have much more challenging issues everyday helps me remain grateful.

[@beckye8799]

I needed this today! Exactly what my husband and I were discussing. I complain, compare, negative, beat myself up, play victim, no purpose. I want to stop. I want to just be happy!

[@tovidominic3154]

My take: The story we tell/narrate about ourselves of the past define our perspective on life itself. Choose to remember and narrate positive incidents of yourself and others connected with you . Thank you lady

[@masiursenglish9130]

I am happy 100% with my life, though I don't have enough success to tell about, still I feel I didn’t do anything wrong to anybody in this world and could love everybody and could stublish myself at the same time as a singer and a teacher thus a youtuber.

[@Men_After_Gods_Heart]

Every person darkside ot trauma is the most strong n creative n untapped resource part of his emotions, if channeled in the right positive course...its very effective

[@AvecBella]

Going through a transition right now. This comes at a right time…♥️❤️♥️

[@ashitshow1431]

This is exactly what i was needed this time ... I was feeling so low .. thinking I'm the most toxic person and i hurt everyone and want to relive everything to make things right ... but that's not how things work ... i can't relive but surely can rewrite my story in my head.... and use that for my growth ... I've learned alot and should feel take that as a win ... can't relate more to this ... Thank you for making my mind simpler an thoughtful

[@adeebnasir6796]

Thank you Shade! Your assistance to the mental health of this world is truly the work of a light being!

[@khalidben9940]

It is been an absolute pleasure having people like you with all this value.Thank you for the immense effort you put into this work. You are absolutely killing it and in top of that you give what really we want as individuals to understand and reshape our thinking.

[@ShadeZahrai]

Thank you Khalid, we're so glad that the content is of value!

[@kristinj6298]

Thank you! This is exactly what I needed to hear. What was holding me back from believing I was worth more...everything. Re-write, re-frame and the future is renewed!

[@srishtikannaujiya2050]

Good one ma'am 👍🏻 I came across this concept for the first time.

[@ak-kx5jl]

Your videos are becoming so addictive. I listen to them everyday before going to bed and every morning once I wake up. This is more than something motivational. Your contents are awesome. You are a guiding stars for women like us out there. Thank you so much Shade 💓

[@popoduck8309]

I am grateful for these nine minutes that I spend on this video. Ty Shade

[@lailayousuf413]

Super Useful Guidelines for the office.. real behavioral science ... Thank you from South Africa 🇿🇦 ❤

[@Dryoussefaa]

Wow so many new notions and technical words. I used to think I am a word warrior, but after listening to this, I have to start learning my vocabulary from scratch. I will take this lesson and spread it around me. Lady you are proving again that we never stop learning. Thank you.

[@haroldpooler8452]

Yeah,I am the same way.I have a lot of pain in my left hip.

[@DrPatrickKingsep]

Narrative Identity is a powerful resource for making life changes. We can all reflect on our self-talk and make changes if needed. Negative self talk can become a habit and we firstly need awareness to change it...

[@savedbyhisGrace7752]

I was very toxic, till I began to listen to helpful individuals like you. It's funny, we like to place ourselves as a victim,some times we do it to self or led ourselves into that very predicament and begin the stories. We all have had, failure, trauma, set backs. Instead of stepping back look from another set of eyes and beautiful mind.

[@friarpesel5646]

A potentially painful concept, beautifully and gently delivered. Thank you 🙏

[@ChallHatt]

This video is like a treasure for every person who is on the path of self improvement. Changing the narrative can really redefine our whole life and how we perceive it. Shadè you are amazing.

[@juliahna4988]

Thank you so much for this video. I feel like this is God’s touch for me to rewrite my story for the better. Thank you so much!!! ❤❤❤

[@henrychang340]

A VERY well thought-out and structured episode on changing the stories we tell ourselves to change our lives. I deeply believe in this for quite some time. This is incredibly valuable for people. Thank you for sharing and helping people change their lives for the better, Shadé Zahrai!

[@priyaranjan1970]

I coped with my severe trauma the same way as you explained. And it transformed my thinking.

[@ariefmperkasa6815]

spot on, and more importantly it's timely for me! this differs constructive thinking, that allows further growth, from positive thinking, that tends to ignore what happens. many thanks Shadé

[@balraambalraam905]

I carry the attitude of gratitude with me every day the past is just a story we tell ourselves rarely do we think of the power we hold for ourselves as authors and narrator ❤

[@nikhilkumarsingh3637]

Thanks for the lovely advice! You explain like a life teacher. It's not how challenging our situations are, it's how we learn from it even if something one feels it's not upto the mark. I tend to perceive everything as negative because I try everything to do as perfect as possible, when that does not happen, I feel that others are better, I am not suitable for this. I should perceive it as a learning experience.

[@chetankothmire6309]

Shade you are truly changing Lives,No Words... Thank you from the Core of My Heart Your All Videos are Commendable & Thoughtful! Lots of Love & Keep up the Good Work!!!

[@RatishStha]

Your tone of narrating story is so powerful and so touching that anyone once watch your videos will for it. ..thank you for being so kind for making such a wonderful videos and helping people enriching the experience to live their life

[@blueberrycake2027]

Shadé, what a great sharing you gave to us. Yes, it's right, what we narrate ourselves is important, it shapes our minds, being more positive, happy or depressed. Thanks for ur sharing.

[@alexfinn7989]

I am so messed up and screwed up my life. I can’t let go and move on. It just leads to more pain and suffering.

[@sarahalishah5827]

Jazak Allah Shade’ for all kind words and precious advice to decontaminate one’s story ….every one will benefit from your knowledge ….stay blessed…❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@siddu9698]

Concept is crafted in another level... It's opportunity to re write our story and to have spark to our perspective... Simply superb

[@Vishalroksc]

I really appreciate your content Shade, you really did a great job by not only motivating people like me but, you also counsel and telling the meaning of live a happy life. Living Krishna you are❤️🙏

[@kandarpjoshi2961]

Beautifully conceptualized.... Ultimately it is "interpretation" That matters..... This video could be life changing for many... Big thanks to you for helping contaminated lives .... 👍

[@ahmedjamalhumakani]

Couldn't agree more!

[@arshsingh8843]

Never thought a nine minute video can deliver that Enormous amount of value👏👏🙌🙌.. keep this spirit straight up to sky and thanks a lot🙏 namaste

[@viperrattle3857]

I must say that after watching much of your practical advice I just got some results. I am a retired Physics professor and always have too many ideas (scientific) to report to Journals and I feel that I have very little time left on this planet. I always used and still do multitask and write about 5 different papers at once. When I concentrate on one to complete sometimes something comes up in the journals that make my priorities change. But I get things done but when one paper is published I immediately start the next one. Sometimes I get 10 different articles in the press. I don't feel the joy of getting published. From now on I will reward myself and enjoy once a project is completed. Basically, I always felt that if I do not get the ideas before too long, nobody ever will. THANK YOU.

[@dr.jacobjesurunr.s.5783]

Thank you dear Shade for this amazing session! Lots to learn from this short yet highly impactful session! Thanks again.

[@shekhargupta6718]

Your videos really work as booster dose to recycle my negative vibes into positive ones. You are blessed with immense knowledge and you keep sharing your thoughts so beautifully with us that one just keep longing for more to come .

[@minae1423]

Thank you Shadé, a concept wonderfully delivered and broken down to it's core parts. 🙏

[@shashankemani1609]

Accept you and accept reality coz accepting yourself is being real! Thanks for such a great information. 🙏🏻

[@sushilsingh9264]

It's been a pleasure listening to all that you have to teach us ... You make us learn from our own experience, a whole new perspective... Thanks a ton

[@anilshedbal4206]

You are simply fabulous. I think you prepare a lot before you appear on the camera. If it is just spontaneous, just can't believe! Your every word in this and other few, i watched, are treasures for self improvement. Hats off to you! May God bless you!

[@user-uv7db9bx3h]

I was having trouble rewriting my story and your video helped me a lot. You helped to focus on how to do it correctly. Thank you❤

[@ganeshbalasubramanian5206]

Great insight, synthesized from multiple, authentic sources 👏🏽 . Grateful for the effort and the message, Shadè 🙏🏽. I am hopeful of following the steps and reaping the benefits 😃.

[@rp2804]

This channel has changed my life!

[@priyaramdoo4762]

I really needed to listen to this again and again to remember to be postive and attract positivity..thank you 🙏

[@rollandjoeseph]

It really is about looking outside yourself, seeing it from a different angle and learning from it. It really can be an awakening imho

[@Connectingthedots.]

I love your channel. Thank you 😊 The way you speak and put together videos is amazing ❤️

[@mpundee2442]

I'm so grateful that I found your channel Shade. What you shared is so helpful as I'm practicing in my life now whatever is useful to me when I need it the most. Thank You 🙇

[@meetshethable]

Such a wonderful video. We need more people like you on this earth seriously. Please keep posting more. God bless.

[@dgsgsgsfh525]

You are unbelievably superb pack of knowlegde. What you deliver is awesome. Trust me, I needed to hear this video today Shade. Keep up with the work and I promise that I will pass this knowledge to the next required person. Keep up with this work plz. The world needs more of this or at least people like me need such videos a lot. In a world where there are almost never ending content, it is really good to see people like you making a geniune effort for mankind. I am very emotional and falling short of words to describe the gratitude towards you. Thanks again Shade!!!!!!!

[@nileshshah2644]

Very beautifully explained. I have heard this so many times from others. Haven't understood so deeply earlier. Grateful to you.

[@parthahazarika4299]

Thank you for this amazing experience you brought it and how any situation can bring about a positive life approach in dealing with bigger challenges and struggles

[@niddhimotwani2963]

The right content at the right time helps you work harder for a better you. Wonderful video.

[@nazeemamuscat8479]

I feel so previliged to find you. The precision in your presentation is awesome. Stay blessed for everything you do for unlifting us. Love you!❣️"The way we communicate with ourselves and others determine the quality of our life" Tony Robins, Unlimited Power

[@infantnelson9356]

This world needs a women like you to encourage others. 👌✌️

[@mariam-de4nv]

You are full of wisdom in your trade. I enjoy listening watching ur channel. Keep them Coming. Thanks you so much. More power to you. We need people like you to help people be better in facing life challenges and accomplishments. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@PawanSharma-oi1vw]

You nailed it. Thank you for sharing. Indebted to you for your clarity.

[@azmat3015]

Really This woman is inspiring to me and never forget seeing her video

[@alisonnorth7907]

I voted the most important person in KZbin right now is this iron young lady kudos my mentor and all the very best

[@gauravsinghbedi6536]

Brilliant Insight Shade Zahari...God Bles You... Thank You Shade...

[@pcadec980]

Shade, your sayings are great and penetrate to the heart and mind. Really give lights

[@DC-fq6mv]

This video is exactly what I needed to see at this time. I was dwelling in a frustrated and contaminated mindset due to a challenge at work. While I have learned to pivot and see things differently, this really hit home and guided me to fully accept, rewrite and move forward. Thank you so much.

[@ShadeZahrai]

Glad it was helpful and timley!

[@michaelokoro2002]

Shade you are a super star.

[@analuciahenrique7739]

Thank you, Shadé! Very, very helpful. May the light you share always bless you!

[@ShadeZahrai]

You are so welcome Ana! Thank you for the kind words. 🙏🏽

[@syednadirkazmi9778]

Shade Zahrai, I was totally stucked before I start listening you. I was thinking why these things are happening with me? Why I have been through this? But, when I started to listen you now I am feeling more confident, back to track and progressing alhmdulilah. More power to you

[@SR-um7kd]

Absolutely loved your theory and explanation

[@biniamandemariam9911]

Thanks for sharing life changing vidoes to make our lifes happier and better if we also take our responsibility. It is so blessing having a amazing sister like you, Zahrai.

[@fdiver60]

Shade, Thank you for your commitment, dedication, and hard work. Today..... has been a very hard and painful day.🥺😢💔 Personally, I need this one today.👏💜❗️ God Bless you.💜❗️

[@ahmedjamalhumakani]

Thanks a lot Shadé! This really makes sense.

[@adv.premdahake5436]

Every time i get positive vibes from your video, and you gives your idea in front of people, that's very gently, which will be helpfull for those guys who are suffering from his bad experienced, this video will encourage them definitely....... Thank you for this video I love it

[@jennyrierosales6429]

This is so relevant to do in practice. Thank you Shade. Hope to meet you one day 😊

[@fatmaramadan7992]

Thank you from my deep heart , you enlighten the collective mind with great positivity ❤

[@iyahsumasorah-el4523]

Shade' voice is everything.

[@RishiMalviya10]

Thankyou !! This video is a voice of hope.

[@donaflordeliez5584]

Thank you for this video, so timely for me. More blessings!

[@lucky4armin]

Aaaah, ummm. Hmm 🤔. Well, without seeming too dramatic or grandiose, I feel that this video gave me what I needed the most and at just the right time; 🙏🏽…

[@FIDA312]

Excellent addition of lots of great advices

[@faisalmohammed5167]

I don't know how else to say this. You're my role model.

[@owaishaider3009]

AMazing Stuff Shade. Things and situations come accross us in our lives but you have beautifully named them. Great display of addressing the common life issues.

[@paragkumbhar8861]

Thank you for helping people rewrite thier story.

[@arvindjha4578]

I believe in this girl! That's enough to say everything.

[@bellarosevisions]

I grew so much from my pain, it is insane and I developed great stability over the deacdes. Since trauma keeps happening to me it now gets harder and harder to again and again seek appreciation or meaning in there. I think the great trap I fell into is that I assumed to find a better future if I only remain strong, learn, grow and find appreciation for all the hardship of the past. But the future may be even worse. Life obvously isn´t here to be better or to be improve. It is only for the experience.

[@pokerlovers3529]

I love and admire your thoughts, ma'am.

[@gaganupreti]

Thanks mam, to make all of us author of our life.

[@dennydannyjosephdanny6628]

I have post traumatic growth, It's craze how I am attracted to pain. this video helped me understand , Thank You

[@ibraheemjallad809]

Thank you for this important information. Taking lessons from past experiences and applying them in order to grow and develop and prosper .

[@hassanameskao9107]

we always learn from you the great things that help us to be self-aware about our mindset I extremely admire your method to deliver your information in a simple way❤

[@charleneaiello9241]

You are incredible! Thank you for your great videos and keep them coming.

[@k.k3260]

Perfect timeing of this video.... Thank you so many for such a nice learnings.

[@premakurale147]

This was best ever seen. Just needed This one. Good job

[@sihembouaoud1813]

This is beautifully crafted that you for these precious advices.

[@azerila89m]

dear shade, thanks for your super useful contents. I don't know if you have a persian background or not since I see a persian name. but if you know about adversities we Iranians are dealing with in a dictatorship society, you definetely find it they leaded us to become a sad fighter in the road to growth.

[@jayakrishna8121]

KZbin AI algorithm is working so great. Its showing the right content to me, and shade sister you are awesome always. I will write Sorry rewrite my story now ❤

[@Abdelhadiisaid]

Is this the best channel on youtube? Or it just came and hit me the right time?

[@nakulkarle5562]

Thanks for sharing this idea. It’s very powerful and something which each one of us can relate with. You are amazing! Keep up the good work.

[@yasirali8158]

Miss you are outstanding. Thanks for this work. Please! Pray for Us.

[@monicakalil]

Excellent, Shadé! I love your contents.

[@mohammadajmal8734]

Thanks Shade for life lesson you are my best motivational speaker

[@tinabhatia1403]

Very well crafted....just felt like watching the thing I needed recently

[@sanjaygautam7572]

Thanks so much ... Your videos are worth to watch and use them in daily life... 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

[@ShainaBajaj]

Thanks dear.....actually needed guidance on this topic...God bless you!!!!