Should We Make Love While Separated?

If you’re separated from your spouse, and there's not an affair going on, you may be wondering, “Should I make love to my spouse, or not?” Check out this conversation with Dr. Joe Beam and Kimberly Holmes as they discuss the pros, the cons, and specific things you should think through before making a decision.
Be sure to watch this other video referenced by Dr. Joe Beam on this topic!
“Should I Make Love With My Spouse During An Affair?” • Should I Make Love Wit...
Though this video is more affair-specific, it also includes helpful things to consider in making your decision whether or not to be intimate with your spouse.
According to Dr. Joe Beam and Kimberly Holmes some of the pros include individual, health benefits, relationship benefits, and belief/value system benefits. Some of the cons include overanalyzing the situation, feeling resentment, thinking that doing so will bring your spouse back- which it could, but it’s not necessarily a likelihood.
So, how does a person decide? Well, when it really comes down to it, you have to decide for yourself. You can even list out (on a scale of 1-10) each pro and each con and comparing your findings. Ask yourself, “What is most important to me?”
And no matter what you decide, please don’t beat yourself up about your decision. You'll tear yourself apart if you start doing that kind of thing. Instead, you can use what you feel afterward to decide whether you want make the same decision again if the opportunity comes up again.
With everything we talk about at Marriage Helper, it's always up to the individual. There are no hard and fast rules. Instead, we ask that you evaluate and think about all the different options/things to consider to make your own decision, and trust yourself after you make the decision.
Remember, relationships are always complex. They're not black and white, and you really have to think to make things work. And know that we are here to help! We have Coaches who can help you think things through.
For more information about coaching, visit: marriagehelper.com/coaching
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[@donna62016]

Only out of a pure heart of love for the other person... that you want to give of yourself to that person AND ONLY if neither spouse is seeing, dating, sleeping with someone else.

[@rayturnbow1836]

Me and my wife separated, she wanted it, I respect her in wanting to try it, I did not abandon my family l, I still pay bills and help out where a husband should.,

[@genasoriano559]

Thank you for giving all this advice.👍👍

[@maribelhurtado8970]

Thank you both, very helpful all of the time. Always watch and learn so much from your videos. It helps gain a better perspective and clarity on things. Thank you, thank you. You are a blessing to me. 😃

[@maribelhurtado8970]

@@bennyhinn9963 No woman makes the difficult choice to raise kids alone. I was with this man for 20 years, which is more than half of my life. However, he’s a narcissist who took advantage of me in so many areas because I’m 10 years younger than him. I love him but I’m no longer in love with him. To answer your question, I would like my family United once again. I’m 35 now and I’m not the little girl he met at 15 anymore. I want a supportive, loving and caring man but he fails to acknowledge his flaws and the fact that he needs change. We all need change. I am working on my P.I.E.S

[@sunamimommyyoga]

Nope. It creates a "safe" environment. Separation is not comfortable. My husband initiated the separation, not I. I will not create an "intimate safe zone" for someone who is clearly ambivalent. I'm not saying it didn't happen in the beginning because I thought I'd save absolutely nothing. The only person who felt crappy after was me. The relationship fizzles, it feels cheap

[@heistlernoiyer2055]

Hi friend, do you really need help to recover your relationship and get your spouse back to you???????

[@heistlernoiyer2055]

Let me recommend you to someone called baba Eseohe that helped me recover my relationship and get my ex back to me. He can definitely help you also ❤️❤️

[@heistlernoiyer2055]

Watzap him now for help...............

[@heistlernoiyer2055]

+2:3:4:8:0:8:4:0:2:3:9:5:5

[@heistlernoiyer2055]

+2=3=4=8=0=8=4=0=2=3=9=5=5

[@MarcosGarcia-tj2tb]

Thank you

[@eileenfuentes6975]

I'm here first! :)

[@elenacm4929]

thanks a lot, your videos are very helpful. My concern is if we are intimate with my spouse while being separated, doesn't it give him all the benefits of a relationship with me without any commitment, so that he wouldn't have a motivation to come back, as he already fulfills his needs. So he only comes home whenever he needs physical or emotional connection - once or twice a week, and while getting what he wants whenever he wants, he is not committing to our marriage, also saying that we would never get back together. I would love to hear your advice on how to handle this situation. We have 2 young children. He's been out of home for 18 months, and pursuing to ''conquer" another female, although there's been nothing physical between them, neither she wants any romantic relationship with him, but wouldn't stop making him desperate for her attention.Thanks

[@jennacampbell2168]

Needed advice 🙏🏽

[@tracebeginning7491]

Am humble. God bless you both. I need to book some sections with you.

[@omowunmijohn3829]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...

[@omowunmijohn3829]

Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝🤜

[@Bunny-Power]

Those are some big chairs 😆

[@Daddy-OH]

How can i get in contact/ talk to someone from marriage helper? What do they say/think about living apart together with married couples that can still see each other but cant live together for legal reasons.

[@kar3n35]

Well i can only speak for my self... never sleep with a man after i separate him. When i separated my ex husband. I stop sleeping with him a month before he moved out. And when he moved out... never ever ever ever... again. Since i said i want a divorce... never had sex again.

[@susanjeffers5110]

It makes me feel like the other woman. Not his wife

[@omowunmijohn3829]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...

[@omowunmijohn3829]

十2348170575769♻️♻️🎦🚻识你...

[@omowunmijohn3829]

Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝🤜

[@Hamann9631]

7:47. Are there studies about non-fathers who are in the room when a birth happens? For example does a big brother feel a release of oxytocin?

[@jewelakerman7733]

Great question!

[@pattihumiston4315]

We are doing a therapeutic separation because he’s a sex addict. He hasn’t acted out in over a year. I want to make love and he does too but I’m unsure if I should. Any suggestions?

[@kennyplay5982]

A year? Are you married? Then have sex

[@KikiNation1]

Do it

[@c.j.9248]

Have been on an in-house separation for 19 months and sexless for 26 months. I have tried to be respectful of my wife's boundaries for not wanting sexual intimacy because she has lost all love and emotional connection for me and I want to find a way to reconnect. But the temptation has been overwhelming, to say the least, so what exactly can I do to maintain my marital purity in respecting my wife's request, but at the same time of wondering when -- if ever -- she will ever reconnect and want to save the marriage?

[@heistlernoiyer2055]

Hi friend, do you really need help to recover your relationship and get your ex back to you???????

[@heistlernoiyer2055]

Let me recommend you to someone called baba Eseohe that helped me recover my relationship and get my ex back to me. He can definitely help you also ❤️❤️

[@heistlernoiyer2055]

Watzap him now for help............

[@heistlernoiyer2055]

[phone]

[@heistlernoiyer2055]

+2=3=4=8=0=8=4=0=2=3=9=5=5

[@jewelakerman7733]

I lost my emotional bond with my husband about 10 years a ago and cant figure out how to revive it. I have questions about the oxytocin release at orgasm. Does this happen with every orgasm, no matter the context? I know that some benefits of orgasm occur with both partnered sex and masturbation, and others do not. If so, how does a bonding chemical affect us when we are alone? What about the context of partnered sex and what it means to you? For example, Is there an oxytocin release when Visiting a prostitute, having Impersonal sex out of obligation, a one-night stand, Or the rare instance in which a woman orgasms during rape? Or does oxytocin distinguish between lovemaking and just sex? Finally, if any partnered orgasm releases oxytocin but you have to fantasize about someone else in order to get there, do you bond with your IRL sex partner Or the man from your fantasy?

[@omowunmijohn3829]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...

[@elindigeno1215]

Well! She found someone else and I'm here suffering. She's determined to stay with that man.

[@Officialrichmartin]

Don’t suffer just trust and put your faith in God.

[@elindigeno1215]

@@Officialrichmartin Amen!

[@dynjarren5454]

@@Officialrichmartin pfft...thats not very realistic

[@omowunmijohn3829]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...

[@omowunmijohn3829]

Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝🤜

[@dynjarren5454]

I want my wife physically but I cannot bring myself to attach to her emotionally right now

[@homerdadon6363]

I hope it works out and you fall in love with her again

[@omowunmijohn3829]

Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,l got help from a great man who brought us back together...

[@omowunmijohn3829]

Whatsappin him 👍☝️🤘👍🤝🤜

[@kar3n35]

No thankyou. what health venefit from sleeping with an ex? Ewww Im soooo proud i rather take a cold shower and buy a vabrator than do an ex. Hellll to the nawnawnaw.

[@asamusicdude]

My wife and I have been separated for a year now and she sent me a nude. So I'm completely confused lol

[@Yaserthehitman]

And??

[@asamusicdude]

@@Yaserthehitman and she went cold a few days after lol. Hot and cold inconsistency

[@Yaserthehitman]

@@asamusicdude That makes two of us lol

[@KingdomDaugterofChrist]

are you with someone else?

[@asamusicdude]

@@KingdomDaugterofChrist no

[@adamrogers3417]

Separated 10 months had sex made love a hand full of times and emotional connection.

[@theasmith1323]

Did you both feel connected and wanting to get back together again? Did you divorce your wife?

[@kar3n35]

I broke up with my boyfriend on vacation and i decided not to have sex at all with him all trip and that was so hard because we all stayed in one house and he would come in my room shirtles and look so sexy and also i had a roomate and i couldn't even releave my self at night. But i survived and i didnt sleep with him once and never again also. Am just too proud.

[@lr7815]

You sound like a real prize xD

[@KikiNation1]

Sure if she offers, why not. Just kidding. 🤣

[@CurtisReese-tl7ip]

Why not, it's just sex.