Signs A Dismissive Avoidant Misses You (After A Breakup) | Dismissive Avoidant Attachment

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In this video I go over what a healthy response to the dismissive avoidant's deactivating strategies looks like.
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I’m Thais Gibson, welcome to my channel and thank you for stopping by!
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[@kayann100]

“They miss you but THEY AREN’T WILLING TO DO THE WORK…” Say it louder for the folks in the back 👏👏👏

[@warmhart2034]

Nope, because the nature of anxiety, in the case of the DA, is to avoid that which causes the anxiety - closeness, commitment, vulnerability, interdependence.

[@violetgc6049]

PREACH!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@kalifornia4745]

Lol 😂

[@jhanjones]

It’s not okay

[@CommandoMaster]

Sad but true

[@youraphrodisiac.895]

I want to tell everyone here It’s not your responsibility to fix a person Let them do their own work

[@Surreal194]

Thanks

[@nataliaturner4845]

Slowly coming to terms with this. I need to focus on fixing what's wrong with me so I can be a better mom, but DA has had zero interest in this whole life partner/fatherhood thing from the get go, and even after approaching him several times this year about this whole DA thing, he has no interest in working on it ("I don't see the value in it" is what he spat at me regarding family/marriage counseling - and you know what? SO BE IT). Naturally, kiddo is not ready to give up on dad being a dad, but as a partner, the relationship has been a 17 yr mental prison that made me a worse parent than I ever should have been, and it's way past time for me to turn my attention to me & work thru my own issues, so I can become a better mom for kiddo & move on as my own person (to really break away tho, I need a job. Can hardly wait for pandemic life to go back to normal! =(

[@vladimirsamsonov46]

Beyond the attachment theory there is such thing as commitment.

[@nataliaturner4845]

@@vladimirsamsonov46 Is that for me? Because btwn me & the DA, I am not the one who has cheated and who whines incessantly about how much better life would be if I was a bachelor again. On the contraty, I'm the one who has given endless "second chances" & stayed commited to that person for 17 yrs, so that MUST be for someone else.

[@vladimirsamsonov46]

@@nataliaturner4845 my comment wasn't actually directed towards you. But you obviously going through a hell of a relationship. Cheating in case of actual sexual infidelity is incompatible with what I understand under commitment. I am committed to my DA for nearly same period, so I assume it wasn't easy.

[@SK-no2pp]

As Nietzsche says: Hope, in reality is the worst of all evils, it prolongs the torment of man.

[@mischa0812]

This reminds me of the movie The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I was watching it last week wishing I could erase my x lol. They quote a lot of Nietzsche in the movie.

[@hgzmatt]

I think it's also the only thing keeping us from committing collective suicide. Hope is what keeps you going. If you didn't have hope you wouldn't enter into relationships in the first place.

[@nancynurzubesuch13]

Wrong. Without hope, we´d have never gotten this far...

[@nancynurzubesuch13]

@@helenacosta5876 You are advertising black magic. Get out of here!

[@SK-no2pp]

@@nancynurzubesuch13 I know lol. But it’s also false hope and lack of boundaries that got me into a painful mess!

[@justafification]

After a 5 year long relationship with a narcissist I've 'upgraded' to dating a DA. The amount of pain and abandonment I put myself through left me completely broken. Every single time when I would try to have a heart to heart conversation about us, both of them would blow up, in a slightly different way but still a blow up. No matter how vulnerable I was my feelings were always disregarded. Once I sent my DA a text saying 'when you go MIA I for days i feel abandoned and it hurts me', he replied 'OK'... People rarely change and they need to do it for themselves, they won't do it for you. The amount of pain, abandonment and rejection i went through almost broke me. My biggest lesson is set your standards, trust your first instinct and cut people off quickly if things seem off. Lots of love to you all x

[@tnt01]

true, the gut never lies. it is the gps of the soul. hugs.

[@annedenis565]

ja same, I thought I was upgrading becuase he wasnt narcissist. He dumped me recently when I asked for more connection. AFTER A YEAR of being together and connecting, and then him starting to pull away

[@clarakennedy2922]

Relatable

[@skylerwillis5247]

Exactly what I been going through for almost 2 years . We finally got to a place where we both started working on our issues & the moment I tried to sit down & have a real heart to heart, I couldn’t even get 30 seconds into talking before he completely blew up & flipped it all on me & left me . Silent treatment .We also work together so you can only image working & dealing with this.

[@adoptioncorner1984]

Going through this right now, he blocked me today after 3 years. It hurts so bad I am totally broken

[@1224polo]

I think in most of the cases they are not willing to do the work because they are not even AWARE that they are dismissive avoidants. They look for the smallest flaws in their partner just to have a "reason" to leave the relationship, come back to their own "safe space" and to racionalise their decisision

[@howtosober]

It doesn't matter if they miss you now if they didn't show up for you when they had you. Take the lessons, heal yourself, and find someone secure. Have compassion from a distance. An unhealed DA is nothing but a recipe for misery.

[@kalifornia4745]

This happened to me. They reached out with vulnerability, even said how much they wanted it to work, we got back together, they weren’t willing to lift a finger for the relationship and after one conversation about my needs, I was broken up with. Run.

[@SK-no2pp]

Yes, I get a random text, a link to a song, a meme, but nothing “emotional” it’s hard to constantly carry a superficial convo. Empathy isn’t a badge of honor... it’s also a trauma response. Most empaths have codependent traits and don’t know how to assert boundaries without feeling bad. These videos have helped me so much.

[@bygracethroughfaith589]

👏👏👏

[@magicwandm]

Truuuuueeeeeeeee

[@meshonte]

Omg, I get the same random links and things.

[@denisejaydub]

so trueee

[@RJ-zt4of]

@@meshonte I thought i was the only one! Its not links with me its random photos of her day or images from her books... its like say hey im thinking about u but without saying it.. its kinda sweet but yes it envitably ends in the withdrawl and a crash which im going through now

[@Stella-cv4mc]

Just an anectode for anyone who considers getting back with a DA: My ex (who's definitely a strong DA) reached out to me with vulnerability. We met up an discussed all the things that went wrong, he was honest, insightful and capable of communication, so I gave the relationship another chance. The weeks after that the conversations got less and less vulnerable. After 3 months I finally asked "what are we?" and he was like "I can't commit, it's not the right time". Even though I was kinda emotionally prepared for this, it still tore me apart. I regret that I got my hopes up at all. Still healing from this. It's been half a year. From what I've heard, DAs behave like that a lot. So please remember this story and don't get your hopes up too much.

[@vesennyaa]

Sending you virtual hug! This is very sad. I hope you heal soon and a warm person will find you ❤️

[@isolditaa]

Yes thank you for the reminder. I have been through the same thing. Mine kinda went up an ghosted. Well he put up a wall, then gave an explanation, which was progress but he didn't respond to what I had to say. And then he ghosted.. It leaved me feeling so powerless and unseen. So there I was again feeling tourned. I mourned and cried for like a month. I was also so angry at him for doing this again because then it had shown to be a pattern and I knew that now I have to set a boundary to not let him back in ever again. Which made me mad because I don't want to do that. Now it's been 6 months and I'm still thinking of this person coming back.. Smdh

[@Stella-cv4mc]

@@vesennyaa thank you sweetheart 💐💚

[@Stella-cv4mc]

@@isolditaa it's so hard when he "behaves right" for a short moment, because then you know: he could. He is capable of being better. And you put all your hope in those few good moments. I'm so sorry dear. I know the feeling, I'm also still thinking about him even though it's been 6 months. I'm praying for both of us to find healthy, reciprocated love full of peace ❤️

[@SK-no2pp]

Do you know if he is only avoidant and doesn’t have any other disorders such as BPD?

[@HealingHappyAli]

I asked for the bare minimum emotionally, I got less than that from my ex-DA and he still considered it being an "emotional pillar." It hurts so bad but this relationship taught me about relationship attachment styles and I'll be mindful next time. I didn't want him for a lesson, I wanted him for a lifetime but I respect his actions, his lack of.

[@bri4926]

Me too. You explained it well. 👍

[@darkmoon1951]

Well said

[@erinh6239]

With you.

[@lailas.3205]

I can fully relate 💕

[@jessmessing3146]

"I didn't want him for a lesson, I wanted him for a lifetime" Felt that.

[@cerenkoca8795]

To my dear APs and FAs, please do not bend and break yourself trying to “wait” or change yourself to “make them feel better”. You will betray your own needs and the DA can only change if they want to for themselves. If you see them promise and break that promise over and over then its time to set your boundaries and focus on yourself.

[@linenlum]

Ye he made promise and break that promise over and over again. He left me no choice but cut him off from my life. It’s his loss, not mine.

[@cerenkoca8795]

@@linenlum good for you! Setting boundaries is how we let people know how they can treat us. Im glad youve shown him he cant break his promises. Btw - the same thing happened to me.

[@healingwavehypnosis]

What sucks about this dynamic is that the more they like you, the more terrified they are. It's painful. But ultimately they have to be able and willing to work this out themselves. And here you are spending time watching videos on how to understand them, and what are they actually doing? I have been no contact from my DA for 6 weeks. He has started to like photos. He has told mutual friends that I'm amazing but that things moved too fast. He sent me a message saying he is available to talk if I want to, but I don't. He already said enough by telling me that it was too hot and heavy at the beginning, that he wants to meet my needs but can't. At no point has he taken any accountability for his behavior, he just says he is "broken." Until he reaches out to have an actual conversation with me, there will be no moving forward between us, even as friends. I needed the no contact more than him, just to realize that he can never give me what I want and need. I feel sorry for him because he will never find someone to really be intimate with, because he just can't. Whatever his parents did to make him like this, it's devastating. But it's not my problem. I wish I would have learned about attachment styles before that relationship. I'd never experienced anything like this! I'd never felt myself so anxiously attached - maybe one other time and I'm 40 years old with many boyfriends in my past!

[@Alixir1228]

Mine has said so many of those things! He "can't" give me what I need, he's "broken", blah blah blah. Acting like he's a victim of himself.

[@jillainenewman1358]

After spending 6 months chasing one of these guys and waiting for him to open up (he never did, of course), I really don't know why anyone would want a DA to miss them. Look, these are people as worthy of compassion as anyone and I wish them the best, but if you want a relationship LOOK ELSEWHERE. They will not change.

[@nikkileones5254]

Thats true

[@jjames2162]

@Jillaine Newman - I couldn’t agree more. They don’t know the meaning of commitment and the DA engages in massive self deception and deceit between their partners as a way to protect themselves and not take personal responsibility - run for the hills

[@msammey]

6 months isn’t that long for da’s habits and for them to feel secure 🤦🏾‍♀️🤔

[@jillainenewman1358]

@@msammey How much time do you think is more realistic for them to feel safe?

[@jameskemp2166]

@@jillainenewman1358 Years

[@minas.a.4393]

I followed your advice from your video “reconciling with a dismissive avoidant ex” and had that talk with my ex last night (we formulated questions and answered them a week later) and he literally said what you were explaining in this video! he said that he loves me and misses me but ultimately showed me that he wasn’t really willing to do the work. He sort of shut down like he usually does and said that he is afraid that he will not have enough emotional availability, that he’s always been like this and that he will most likely be alone for the rest of his life. He’s very conflicted. Ideally, like you said in this video, you want the love to outweigh the fear and it’s ok to start the conversation/lead the process to doing the work but not to be fooled by the truth of the matter. We were in classic, toxic anxious-avoidant relationship and I am 100% putting in the work to be more secure and learning about my myself and what a healthier relationship looks like, etc everyday. Unfortunately He doesn’t do what I do (self-reflect, therapy, relationship podcasts and videos) and I used to hate him for it, until I realized that he shows up in other ways, such as being willing to have last nights conversation, sometimes watching a KZbin video I sent him, or the chapter on avoidants in the book Attached. I do love him and hope we can work through this but this whole process (of becoming my secure and learning about myself) has shown me to also value myself and if he cannot put in the work.. well then I have to move on. Relationships aren’t perfect and they take a lot of work, but not in a way that you lose who you are. Everything he says or does, or lack there of, I check with myself. I don’t take it as personal as before when I was anxious but now as a matter whether or not it meets my needs or if I’m at risk at losing who I am and everything I’ve worked on up to this point. Hope is a dangerous and wonderful trait to have, if used correctly but the truth is that majority of us never had proper role models and do not know how to go about romantic relationships. I thank God for you and the other relationship gurus I follow everyday because I wouldn’t be where I am today!

[@MrColtonrob1]

How's it going now?

[@kikimochi555]

I’m in the same boat! I’m a fearful avoidant and I thought he was too. But I’m convinced now my guy is a DA or at least an FA with a heavy Avoidant characteristic. I’m moving to a different country so I kept pushing him away cause I was scared.. and that made him try harder. But I pushed him away even more cause I just had a hard time trusting peoples earnest efforts. he completely shut down like he’s down before when I was pursuing him .. When I learned about attachment styles I started to not let his actions and shutting down affect me as much and I really empathize with him, because I get like that when I’m being avoidant. I told him that I’m going to still move to a different country, but I’m willing to make it work if he is and I’m sorry for misunderstanding him and pushing him away. He cried! And so that made me cry. He is still scared to continue the relationship cause he doesn’t feel good about it and says he doesn’t want to associate the bad feeling with Me. I told him I’d give him space and me space to settle into my new place, but that I love him. I usually push him away when he gets pulls away, so I’m just happy I’m not completely afraid to love anymore.

[@phataravadeetaskumjorn2073]

I’m really happy for you that you can get that. Your story sounds exactly like mine. My ex keeps saying the same thing that he’ll alone for the rest of his life and never see himself with anyone

[@MrColtonrob1]

@@phataravadeetaskumjorn2073 that is so weird my girlfriend ex-girlfriend girlfriend says the same thing that she's going to be alone forever

[@wisdombeyondthesky8453]

Your situation is so similar to mine! How's it going now? I wish you the best🥰

[@estherh.1106]

Truth! 1. He liked my posts and watched my stories (didn't watch my stories prior to the break-up) 2. He reached out directly with a very slight emotional component and some vulnerability Bonus: he turned out to be committed to doing the work. Even though he does have fears around commitment, his feelings for me are bigger 🤗

[@irrittt]

I'm happy for u girl, but don't get your hopes up too much. For your own sake. Protect yourself

[@SaiTeja-vq8hq]

How is it going?

[@Neeshad22]

@@SaiTeja-vq8hq yes. Let’s get that update.

[@estherh.1106]

@@SaiTeja-vq8hq We're very happy together ❤️ I know this sounds corny af but we are doing the work together and our relationship is thriving ❤️😍

[@SaiTeja-vq8hq]

@@estherh.1106 That's great to hear! Wanted to hear something positive around here, sounds nice! :)

[@flower_7890]

As a healing FA I refuse to waste my energy for unhealthy people who don't know what they really want or can't communicate. I love your courses, they helped me a lot 🤗

[@nataliaestrella8609]

Intro ends at 1:45

[@thatguy1475]

This world needs more of you, more than anything else; like seriously

[@aeiou5614]

Thank u

[@samanthamatthews134]

Thais, please, please, PLEASE, do a video about how those with empathy, and the habit of seeing the other’s perspective, have a tendency to let their boundaries be crossed and the behaviors continue. Love your videos!

[@amoore7357]

Resonates. Big time!

[@dawnfiech7400]

Yesssssss

[@preetikalluri]

yesssssssssss 💯 i had a lightbulb moment there !

[@lizp2512]

FA: what do I do when I miss someone- I run away especially if I’ve been rejected

[@brandywilliams4011]

Yeah, do they miss YOU, or do they miss what you were DOING for them? That's how I view it because there's no effort to change their behavior.

[@brunoferreira553]

Knowing about attachment theory helped me a lot in dealing with my DA's breakup. My suffering was like 100, now it's like 20. I shifted from that after 2 days of constant reading about the subject. Never heard about this before. This is a life-altering experience. We don't need to feel guilty. DA's are not worthy of our time, patience, or love.

[@alphytran]

Agree. It has scarred me for life. People aren’t responsible for their past trauma but are responsible for their actions and to break the cycle. Not to inflict that pain onto others and keep using their trauma as an excuse to justify their harmful behaviours. It’s not uncommon for these people to be narcissistic and enjoy seeing their partners in pain. They will emotionally distance, put the wall up and never apologise and are relieved the relationship is over. These are broken people and sadly most will never do the work needed to heal in order to stop causing harm to others.

[@brunoferreira553]

@@alphytran Yes! They are bad people and narcissistic. We all have problems and traumas, I'm not perfect but I always avoid to hurt people.

[@tachibanamei6647]

@@brunoferreira553 no. They’re not bad people. They have real trauma and are misunderstood. You are deeply egocentric and lost sir. This kind of response from you says more about you and your relationship to yourself than anything else.

[@brunoferreira553]

​@@tachibanamei6647 our traumas do not give us an excuse to hurt people. A suicidal person is truly suffering, but in the end is also someone that is egocentrist, because he or she doesn't care enough about the amount of pain the suicide will bring to the loved ones. Pedophiles are also people full of traumas, they are still bad and they act that way because of their traumas. If a DA hurts someone because of their traumas, I'm so sorry, they are still bad.

[@40fit38]

@@tachibanamei6647 your response sounds like a DA “it’s them I need them to leave” as an AP will say “it’s all me I should have done more” There’s a balance in the middle of equal accountability you need to look towards.

[@e.j.4612]

I was engaged and we called it off just 3 months before the wedding, because he couldn't carry the insecurity into the marriage (which i didn't even know until a year later). This year we started to talk again and he came back to me with so much more attention and love until I asked if he will give up on us again. I needed assurance and again, he couldn't handle the stress and pressure. I asked him to seek discernment from God and ask himself what he really wants. As a result, he broke my heart again and this time he literally crushed it. Right after the phone call, I blocked him and I do not wish to talk to him ever again. I realized I am not responsible for his happiness but I am responsible for my own happiness.

[@Neeshad22]

My wedding was supposed to be next month and he everything ended so quickly. I found out that there were so many issues I did not know about. I knew he had trouble opening up but I thought that was something we could work through together. I am an FA and sometimes be emotional and that was something we could work through together. Every relationship has something and if that’s was it I thought we were pretty lucky. I have been watching these videos for years but I never read the comments on DA. I wish I had. I did not start having anxiety until him and I started dating and towards the end of our relationship I was getting out of those habits. Then suddenly I changed too much. That was it.

[@LemansSunset350]

💯💯💯💯💯

[@MsLovelylady32]

​@@Polly1589 sorry you're dealing with that... sending hugs

[@estelao.b.1473]

@@Polly1589 oh my god, I hope you are getting help and support, Polly, that sounds awful

[@NickTheHunter]

God does not exist, grow up.

[@georgejetson9801]

I'm AP but becoming more secure over time. My estranged husband is DA. He'll reach out with general conversation or mundane like a sale at the grocery. He's made no effort to file for divorce. I can call and he'll want to talk for hours. I'm older and not all that bothered about it. I'm fine on my own and wouldn't be interested in another marriage or relationship as my kids are grown etc.. If I were younger and wanted a family, I wouldn't bother with anyone that needs fixing. There are so many many people out there who can love the way you need to be loved. It's best to cry and grieve and get back out there and meet someone else.

[@arxsyn]

Yup I'm still in my reproductive prime. No way am l going to waste my precious fertility with an emotionally unavailable, non committal, DA. Had one in my dating history. Only 3 months. I Was heart broken, but years later l see this as a blessing in a way. He released me.

[@JayBee762]

@@arxsyn proud of you! I hope to get where you are. I keep going back to my DA. I love her so much 😭

[@arxsyn]

@@JayBee762 thank you. I was really into him. Even though l moved on with various others l still kept THINKING, obsessing about him YEARS later. He's the only one l get hung up on like this... I'm just too proud to admit it 😌. After a sort of spiritual awakening did this craving go away. Studying Buddhism helped me. They tell you that craving and attachment is a source of suffering. Ironically, emulating DA's, and learning the art of DETACHMENT was the solution for me. Nowadays we just friendly text each other on occasion. I no longer care when he doesn't text me back in a timely way or doesn't read my texts for weeks at a time. That used to hurt a lot. Whoa what a change. I think part of the allure of the DA is their unavailability plus mixed signals. You know they're a tough nut to crack and you want to be the one to do it. Yes l knew that, even from the beginning. It became clear to me as he saw me less And less l felt lonely even while dating. If it was already like this, would that really change even if we were steady??? I knew deep in my heart that would not with an emotionally unavailable person. Really in a way, l pity him. I told him that. Buddhists must practice compassion And so l did. l said that to him... Also. And that l still cared for him. That was all l could do

[@zidesce7961]

I'm a volatile FA. I will likely never get into any sort of relationship with a DA again in my life. Giant waste of my time, personally. Not saying others shouldn't have hope, but it's not in the cards for me. I don't deserve that.

[@laylaward2225]

Ditto

[@cbs577]

It just can't work. It's emotional necrophilia.

[@josecv9444]

Biggest regret in my life as well, I don’t even want the good memories anymore.

[@southernsoul152]

Soul murder! You have to kill the best parts of you to stay

[@SK-no2pp]

@@cbs577 that was graphic but true lol

[@Talkinglife]

Truth to be told, people with an avoidant attachment style are sometimes hard to understand

[@SK-no2pp]

It’s like trying to open up a bank vault without a key or a combination. You get exhausted.

[@smiths698]

I remember my ex DA telling me that when he was on his own he would cry to because he wanted to be normal. The fear they have must be so intense.

[@darray.]

They don’t even understand themselves/their emotions

[@hshfyugaewfjkKS]

@@smiths698 yes I feel this is true of my ex as well. My heart breaks for them that they fear love so much.

[@SK-no2pp]

@@darray. many people I know that are DA have borderline personality, which is cycles of desiring closeness wanting intimacy and then implementing distancing strategies. They have no core identity, and operate out of wounds and defense mechanisms.

[@oohily]

When I miss someone I think about them and hope they are manifested lmao

[@sanperl9529]

same...💀🤓🥺😂

[@maxe2820]

Shit tactic not gonna lie lol

[@zeroonezero7852]

Lmaooo I’m guilty of this as well

[@cherisew]

Are you a dismissive avoidant?

[@xenuworriorprincess]

🤣⚰🤦🏽

[@hmanfilms]

A lot of the characteristics and behaviors of DA and Narcissists is similar. Make sure you watch CLOSELY and determine for yourself which one the person is. Either way, just know that engaging and investing emotionally in relationships with these people will DRAIN you. Even a secure person will have tendencies to act anxiously or codependently with these people. The best thing you can do is set a boundary, make it clear you value yourself and will not tolerate abuse or disrespect. You are the catch. You are secure. THEY are the ones who need to work on themselves and open them up to receive your love - because what you have is a gift. Do not let them take you for granted or shake you. Be firm and move forward, if they can’t work on themselves or won’t meet you halfway, move on. Your capacity to love should not be wasted on someone who isn’t showing up for you. You deserved to be loved and validated.

[@Strawberrysoul]

Yes! Thank you!

[@beritter]

Initially, I started watching your dismissive avoidant videos for someone else...then I realized that I am the dismissive avoidant! Thank you, very helpful :)

[@valentinanocross8677]

I recognized too my percentage of dismissive tiptoeing around the dismissive. Waiting....

[@kelliebruce9452]

My goodness I thought I was the only one reading these comments. I’ve come to realise this is exactly me. I do all these things but not intentionally or understand why.

[@leahmay1506]

Do you feel that you’re able to love someone deeply but just not able to express it, or, is love completely foreign and infatuation the only feeling felt? And do you feel indifferent towards your partner if they should assert their needs or point out a problem within the relationship? I’m just curious and wanting to learn more, I’m also not sure if these traits apply to all DA’s but based on the comments it seems like it’s common and I’m just curious to hear from a DA.

[@beritter]

@@leahmay1506 Hi Leah. I am able to love and have loved someone very deeply, but have a difficult time being vulnerable and expressing my love. Also I do not feel indifferent when a partner asserts themselves or expresses their needs, but I tend to get combative and then 'run' as to avoid further discussion. But while I am isolating myself I feel a lot of regret for not having been more receptive to what they were saying because I realize how dissmissive it was.

[@janefaceinthewind6260]

Thais, I'm waiting with baited breath for your channel to blow up, and I know it will. You are brilliant, the whole concept of the Personal Development School is brilliant! You deserve all the success possible. 💝

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

That's really sweet thing for you wish Jane. Thanks for your support of Thais and the channel. -Pds team member

[@Stella-cv4mc]

Yeah seriously, I wish every person in the world would subscribe to this channel 🙈❤️

[@LemansSunset350]

Absolutely 💯

[@demimiller794]

I've come to realise, you're never allowed to need them. And that's when things changed for me. I was not my normal self for a week after an incident of 'needing' him. Then I saw another pattern, and it was game over. It was never going to change.

[@ceranyab1223]

I hear you. I had resorted to love mine like he is. give him space to come to me. Then I fell in this bout of loneliness &reached out to him. He rejected me at my lowest. Right then I decided it wasn't worth it.

[@imshaun4563]

We tend to think because they've been open and emotional before that we can get them to get back to that state of mind. I've come to think of the Avoidant opening up to us in the beginning middle and end as a gift from God and it will take just that to get them back to that 🤷🏾‍♂️. Stay strong

[@elodeagg457]

I love how you always explain things so clearly and in a relatable way. Thank you for this video. I'm an FA: if I miss a friend, I reach out and tell them straight up. And we have a nice comfortable conversation, to catch up with each other. But if I miss someone I was dating, I just repress the feeling and don't let it show. (Which leads me to being sad.) But I feel that it's pointless to reach out because I feel that they don't care about me anyway, so why bother. It's also scary to reach out, I suppose because of the fear of something bad happening, like me being punished some how. 🤔

[@julievazquez6081]

6:15 "Sometimes, especially with really empathetic people, you can get 'trapped,' in a way, of seeing and understanding that person's perspective so much that it allows you to justify their behavior." Wow! This is me! This is so helpful and insightful! It is so easy for me to understand the other person's perspective that I lose myself. Thank you! If I can start working on this, this could be a game changer for me. Thank you, Thais!

[@ragingphoinix9144]

This is me.

[@BabyFaceRose]

You made amazing points. You can’t expect to get anywhere with someone or move forward with them if they are not willing to talk about why the fall out or break up happened and the boundaries, and what each person can do next to have a better relationship. It’s very important and people my age don’t really understand it

[@Rustycat69]

Thank you. This has really helped me. I've felt this following break ups with DA s. They do miss me... But it'll be a half arsed missing... Asking me about other stuff, asking me how I am then getting very defensive when I say how I actually am... No vulnerability, no real work or promise of same... No stepping up to the mark really

[@katja6228]

After the break-up (from my side) my DA wished me a good new Year (I didnt respond), then happy birthday (I responded with a simple Thanks), then months later reaching out with a great compliment on my profile pic, we had a really nice convo (warm, flirtageous), then some nice and just warm messages from ou side after he said that he wanted to see me and then.... nothing for 3 months... I didnt know how to respond in an appropriate way after he popped in after 3 months with bad excuses (always blaming circumstances, not taking ownership of their behaviour, I hate it) I responded that I dont see any reason to meet him after ghosting me without any explanation and that I gave him more than one opportunity to act like an adult ... I was clear and honest and explained him what my boundaries are and that I am not dealing with less ... Guess what? He blocked me. But I am not playing this blocking game and feeling his drama. And by being true and clear, I did what I need to do and give myself closure. 🙏😊

[@BillRWare]

Unblocked yet? It's been a year. Would be an interesting epilogue if you care to indulge me. After similar manners of childishness from my person, I blocked her everywhere electronically. Been about nine months now, though, if I discount a two week period where we ran into each other in South America, it's been over a year of no contact. Though I miss her terribly, I am firm as to my standards, and it's clear she has work to do, as have I (which I am doing for myself). I wish you well on your journey 🙏

[@katja6228]

@@BillRWare Yes, unblocked after about 6 months 😂😂😂

[@dk3541]

At the end of the day the DA suffer from not having a meaningful relationship. All the other attachment can still be in a commited relationship. All that are suffering or sufffered in the DAs hands, you can feel love and happiness in a more beautiful way.. you have more hope.. you are capable. Let's wish the DA luck and healing, may they find happiness one day.

[@seynidonna3261]

Let them suffer.. They have to face the consequences of their actions.. Some people that are not strong enough to handle the emotional torture they receive from DA might even go as far as hurting themselves

[@efrathag74]

Dear Thais ! How lucky i am for being in your school . Learning from you and having proximity to your heart and the community you have gathered in its vibration ... is really for me ... A huge resource and relief so much trouble you have saved me. Its not easy work... But inspires. Gives hope and practical Results. Much love and thank you. I fell to "potentials" ... And would have continued not having a system to know and be known had i not come across your life work. Keep the hard work and the development. I am pretty sure you save lifes mine included. And raise the level of health. My heart widths to observe this.

[@bettinac5670]

Loved this! And really find the "feeling vs. fears" scaling very useful

[@LeafsIn2024]

This was my first introduction to your channel. It was very professional yet personable and informative. Subscribed. Thank you!

[@mikefr12]

Thanks for the insight. It's very timely for me for if and when she (DA) decides she's ready to talk about starting over.

[@MB-Music23]

Thais, you are excellent at what you do...how nice to be walking in such clear purpose and calling to be helping so many thousands of people like this...amazing.

[@colorfullyme]

Please do a video on a topic you mentioned a while ago-- how to tell if a dismissive avoidant is interested in you romantically but has no desire / intention to be in a relationship.

[@mariana4095]

Just ask them. That's what I did, and he said that getting into a relationship would make him anxious and rob his freedom

[@dorothykyomuhangi634]

I unfortunately upgraded from a covert narc to a DA... although i felt exactly the same way in both relationships, unseen, unheard and unloved, the covert narc never outrightly berated me ever. Im anxiously attached, so everytime he went MIA and I brought it up, The DA would say nasty things to me and stonewall for weeks. I tried to reach out several times but he would ignore my messages and detach further. Sometimes he'd respond to my message and say he was just busy and would call later but never did. The emotional turmoil with these people just isn't worth it.

[@colorfullyme]

2:40 Thank you, Thais, I needed that stern tone!!

[@archonofvoid]

Extremely empathethic secure here, dating a DA for 2 years. Man it's hard.

[@JayBee762]

Very empathetic as well but more on the anxious side. Should I just leave it alone bro? From your comment

[@hannahpatience]

my DA ex and I are hot and cold - he yearns for connection but once we start to connect he freaks out and needs space. I asked for space in May and felt great about it. I felt like messaging him a couple days ago so I did; I said happy new year and that I missed him. He responded quickly and said the same. He asked me what was on my mind and I said I felt disrespected last time we spoke and that I would love to have a platonic relationship. I have no clue what he will say but I feel good about my boundary with him. When we first dated I fell into the anxiously attached role and I am a securely attached person now.

[@FM-zg5hz]

Update?

[@alexandrulupu725]

It's amazing how profound this is. Thank you !

[@gisellefernandes927]

Thank you, Thais! When you talk about us being so understanding with the other person’s limitations to the point of putting all of the work.. that’s a hard lesson I’m trying to learn!

[@firstladyqueen5985]

Huh to the point of putting all the work? That's precisely what we're not supposed to be doing.

[@michaelr3025]

"Feelings minus fears" - Wow, this was such a clear image of DA's mindset (and anyone's, for that matter). It opened a whole new viewpoint to me when attempting to understand a DA I have dated. Awesome! I go away enriched, thanks Thais!

[@jermainerivers4450]

I love you Thais! Once again, this video read my situation to a tee! This literally just happened to me on my birthday (Nov. 30th). This video validates what I went thru, and that I did the right thing. Loving this "Break-Up" series.!

[@HannahG816]

This was so well explained Thais. Especially the end about being careful not to over-empathize with their potential fears/roadblocks to the point where I’m not honoring my own feelings and needs

[@jamisonryon3009]

This woman is killing it. Great videos all around...I bet she's a millionaire next year with this quality content...assuming the number of people she has helped in life, a million isn't enough of a reward.

[@jaycorin]

Thais you and your channel are a god send honestly

[@SS-in1ts]

Thank you for this, I’ve been giving too much because I feel sad for his pain and hope that my understanding will offer security and safety. Now I know how to go about this.

[@TheSophiacleo]

I received a random text. Two actually and it confused the hell out of me. I never responded. But this makes total sense and is helpful to my understanding.

[@lauraliz6782]

Perfect timing!

[@iraqitarot5277]

I lovvvvve how you put how unfair I was to my self when I did all the work for 3 months when he ce around without vulnerability

[@yodasan4681]

I think Thais might be in my mind. Almost every video since quarantine has come out at the exact time I’m having these problems in my relationship! My DA bf and I had a rocky split a few weeks back and he’s just reaching out via text now, about things that have nothing to do with why we broke up! I’ve been agonizing over how to best approach this and wondering how to know if I’m making the right and healthy steps for me. Thanks again Thais, lifesaver 🥰

[@juliemulleady7916]

Great information - really difficult understanding an avoidant

[@BocaGrandeTarpon]

Thanks for all your help you could be more upbeat about the situation because it’s quite difficult for both people so I think it’s best to make light of a dark and heavy dynamic

[@Megumi07]

Very insightful video mentioning about how we can be so empathetic and understanding of them that we justify their behaviour and settle for less than we want, My ex reached out and told me he missed me, but then we had the communication problem where I expressed that I need him to stay in contact more even when he’s busy and he’s retreated again, I text him (he won’t answer the phone) and told him I wanted to work through this but we need to meet each other halfway and try to accommodate each other’s needs (even though he says he is adaptable and doesn’t have any needs), it’s been almost 10 days since we last spoke. It’s frustrating because there were a lot of good in our relationship.

[@jessicamorales2555]

Thais is more profesional and smart in each video. Thanks for this generous sharing

[@tanyah.9131]

Thank you for this! I've been watching so many of your videos and they've been so helpful for understanding a man I was involved with..I wish I would've watched these 10 days ago when we were still together! We're coworkers (in different departments) so I don't know how that'll be now. He cut me off after learning I had told a friend and fellow coworker about us, when he wanted to keep our relationship completely quiet. She's very trustworthy to not talk to anyone else (and I really need to talk about stuff with friends that I'm excited about! It's hard to hide an infatuation from a close friend!😭). When we were together he said he wanted to keep it casual, that he's too old to change..signs that he wouldn't be willing to put in the work.. but I noticed when we were together he made efforts to connect and make me feel special, and he was so very sweet in some ways. Thankfully I have a therapist but it's hard to know what to do now, how to take responsibility for my part and apologize for violating his boundaries... and whether I even want to get together again (probably not, unless he decided he needed therapy too). Definitely feeling confused, hurt, and missing what we had.

[@kesley.]

So pathetic that the only hope I have is that he hasn't removed me (his wife/partner of 10 years) from socials or taken down our photos. Yet has clearly told me there is no more us, no more chance for us. Hope is destroying me. EDIT*** Okay yep, been removed now and he sent me draft of divorce application today. But I’m feeling okay surprisingly. If you’re reading this, it’s been two months since my relationship ended and I still love him immensely. But you will be alright, give yourself the grace to accept things are over and stop fighting for things to change. If they’re right for you it’ll work out. If not, well your life’s just being redirected. Trust God

[@JohannaHunt]

This is a great video. Its important for both people to be doing the work and I have a history of feeling too compassionate and too empathetic and close the gap for the work they aren't doing. Do you recommend just standing still and waiting for them to take the initiative to reach out in this case? I used to be an anxious avoidant. I still have some anxious tendencies but have moved towards secure more and more with ALOT of personal work

[@officiallydenise]

This video is right on. Great job Thais! I’m 70% secure (20% dismissive and 10% fearful)

[@davemaurer7341]

How did you come up with this bologna percentages???? Whhaaa

[@officiallydenise]

@@davemaurer7341 it was an relationship attachment test i took online 2 years ago. I can’t remember where, sorry.

[@sorakairi118]

Hi Thais. Thank you so much. Your videos have been making me and my prospect, with my family and close friends, grow so much during the lockdown year. Thank you for sharing your gifts.

[@SB-td3ov]

Would love a video on how a DA actually processes a breakup when they FINALLY allow themselves to feel the breakup. Especially if the DA has monkey-branched to avoid pain. How do they actually process the breakup (especially if they swung right into a new relationship) and do they genuinely regret it especially if you know they are guilt-ridden about the way they handled. My DA understands exactly what he does but can’t help himself and doesn’t think he can change.

[@CASchack]

I think the point of the monkey branch is to avoid dealing with the feelings and simply repeat the pattern as often as needed. If they are with someone else, then they can run away from what they were feeling in the old relationship and carry on. We make the mistake of thinking that they have the same depth of feeling as the rest of us. They may feel regret, but not deeply enough to come back and actually show up.

[@nataliaestrella8609]

@@CASchack explained it perfectly

[@nostalgia88296]

(DA here)I felt the breakup almost immediately after the event. I continued to cry for months and felt the worst pain I've ever felt. Make no mistake, we feel intensely but DENY our feelings out of cowardice. We genuinely regret leaving everytime. It's self-sabotage to leave someone we love for no reason. There could be multiple factors at play. Maybe the feelings of jealousy sinks in and it gets too much. Our safety net is ourselves, closing everyone off and coping alone.

[@azangotsman4253]

@@nostalgia88296 question. If my ex DA broke up with me but it seemed she extremely distanced herself 2 months before the relationship ended. Does that make any difference as for how they process post breakup?

[@nostalgia88296]

@@azangotsman4253 I'm sorry, I have no idea. I can only talk about my own experiences with break ups. I hope you are in a place where you can begin to heal ❤️

[@VivPhotography]

I needed to hear this...

[@clarahopkins5182]

Excellent video - I gave my DA a good opportunity. We got on well but the stress and uncertainty of a future with this guy was too much. I was aware he was a DA, although i dont think he was aware, and so i did give a lot of space but I had to break up with him. 3 weeks later I saw him dating someone new or it could have been an ex for all I know (is that common thay they go dating so soon???) it was tough to see but the reality is he was never available for a real relationship. I have learned so much about myself from that relationship. The number being if you're being kind and giving but your partner is gladly receiving it but not giving back it will suck the life and happiness out of you.

[@joshwalton2946]

After 4 months, I've seen some of these signs from my ex girlfriend, so I reached out saying "I want our family back together again". I got left on read.

[@George-Aguilar]

I’m early. Perfect topic for me!

[@kaceepuzniak543]

Great content!! Where is the "How to Respond to Your Ex?" that Thais references? I'm having a difficult time finding it...

[@kaceepuzniak543]

@@chilloften thanks so much!!

[@LisaEverette]

I had a very lovely 6 hour text conversation with my DA after 6 months of silence, and then I felt the shift and he didn't respond for 2 days until I texted him again. It hurt so bad. I then wrote a vulnerable message to him about how I feel about his silence. He didn't read it after 2 days. I then got triggered and said "I hope you have a happy life, I can't handle this. I'm out!" And even after a week he hasn't even seen that message telling him I'm out. I don't understand this experience of love. I'm an FA. We were together for 3 years, he woo'd me for 8 months.

[@saltpepper7525]

That's so painful. Nothing justifies this behaviour unless they were in some awful accident or something... you be there for yourself, wish you strength and healing and better people in your life.

[@susannahpearethcan5ing]

That’s just so sad because then they miss out on wonderful opportunities with amazing people

[@komatsu8169]

Why do they do this

[@LisaEverette]

Sorry for anyone going though this. I am in a happy committed relationship with a man I couldn’t have asked for. I asked God/Universe to bring me who is for me, my other half.

[@singularity_12398]

@Lisa Everette wow , a felt a relief after reading ur last reply, u deserved better and be happy. I hope, I'll find my other half too, but for now I'll have to endure and learn the pain that my DA ex gives me.:(

[@TheWolfCrea]

I'm now sure, after consuming a lot of your content, that I am dismissive avoidant and it has been ruining all my attempts to try and start a relationship. I want to be more vulnerable, to have deeper, more meaningful conversations but sometimes it just feels like I don't know what a deep, meaningful conversation looks like... I will initiate a relationship and then immediately get stuck and lost, not knowing what a relationship is supposed to look like, to feel like, which gives way to my fears and anxieties to take over, sabotaging everything... It's really hard to live with and getting harder as I grow older...

[@nadinegomez8858]

@Jeff Robertson YES. These people need to work on themselves first

[@rustyshimstock8653]

Same! & watched this happen to my dad. Attachment is a muscle. Without exercise & training, it can wither.

[@patwatcharakuldilok7941]

Thank you for the vid. What you said is so practical. This vid shows me how to handle DA behavior. Relationship with DA is so unhealthy if you are not secure enough. Every tipping point, he ran away. As a partner, I would give him a shot if he would like to work on it together. However, if he doesnt want it, it is not my job to fix him.

[@nataliaestrella8609]

3:31 you see I took that and ran w/ it and paid the price dearly

[@SK-no2pp]

Same 😂😂

[@isolditaa]

Yep same here

[@aiman96yearsago10]

😂

[@lauraschleifer4721]

Spot-on, as always!! I'm wondering though if you might be able to address differences in the ways the various attachment styles might react if they were the ones who initiated the break-up vs. the other person doing it? I feel like it's much easier to be more direct and more openly vulnerable if you are the one who initiated the break-up when reaching out to an ex than if you are the one who was broken up with.

[@HandmadeItalianLeather]

But what if you were the one that did the ACTUAL break up only because the other party PUSHED you to do it? They really made it seem like they wanted ME to do it so I did but now he lightly stalks me and I can’t figure out why! It’s been a year!!

[@motjon]

I think dismissive avoidants are simple. They need someone to need them. They need someone to resent. Its an easy relationship because they know you're not going anywhere. You're always available for them. They may resent you for it. But its what they need. Otherwise they wouldn't create these types of relationships. Update 12/21: Ex messaged me a few days ago.

[@Magicalpow1]

I appreciated your comment the most. That makes.... a lot of sense. I was worried about this happening recently, them not committing while I'm always available, as though they want it all, and I broke it off with them (although a couple other reasons too), and dang it's nice to hear someone else say it too.

[@motjon]

@Personal Development School-Thais Gibson Thoughts on this?

[@SK-no2pp]

I have to disagree. They don’t want to resent anyone. They fear emotional intimacy. They cannot be open hearted and super vulnerable. It triggers them. The fact that someone anxious is always available for them, is the anxious person’s issue to resolve. They have their own wounds which make them stick around and be a doormat sort of speak

[@motjon]

@@SK-no2pp I definitely agree with your statement about anxious people, but the push-pull dynamic is what makes me believe that they need people to need them. From the research I've seen anyways dismissive avoidants are the least likely to be made secure individuals even if they get into relationships with people who have secure attachment styles. While other insecure attachment styles fare a lot better in that same circumstance and can potentially become securely attached themselves. Atleast thats what I've read, I'm definitely no expert but I've been studying all this for two years now. My dismissive avoidant ex literally ghosted me the second I stopped being so needy. And the next time he reached out he was in a new relationship and wanted to cheat on her with me. All of this to me just reads as it is. They might idealize having someone be secure, but what type of relationships do they most often end up in and why? Ofcourse, I could be wrong and just looking at things from the perspective of a guy who got ghosted when I was working on having a healthier attachment style.

[@SK-no2pp]

@@motjon I believe the hot and cold behavior is not because they like to be needed, or like someone needy. That behavior stems from their own internal pattern. They approach you, because they actually do want connection in that moment. And then the retreat, because it becomes really overwhelming for them. It triggers them, and they don’t know how to keep being vulnerable. Yes, dismissive avoidants are least likely to work on themselves, and least likely to become secure. Many of them do not even see that there is anything wrong with the way they operate. They don’t understand why their partner is so hurt, and they actually repel clingyness. The vulnerability and emotional intelligence an anxious/codependent person exhibits, is probably really attractive to the dismissive avoidant in the sense they wish they could express emotions that way. Opposites attract. The attraction is also subconscious .... it creates the runner chaser pattern.

[@ajaypgp]

Omg 😳 Have you been reading my diary Thais!? Lol jk but a lot of this was spot on for me (DA/FA). In the past I was always the one to get back in touch with my ex (AP leaning FA) directly with a text/call. This time, in all honesty, I’ve secretly been hoping she would see that I’m posting comments on your videos because we both would watch them 😞🤦🏽‍♂️. Actually commenting on your videos is also helping me as release/outlet so I’ll continue regardless of if she reads them or not. I’m willing to do the work (just joined PDS) and we were 2 sessions into talking to a therapist before we broke up again 😞 but now I just can’t reach out again. I feel guilty that I’m ‘subjecting’ her to our relationship and my DA’ness.

[@quynhanhphammai4653]

My DA-ex reached out with vulnerability (told me he missed our emotional connection), but still pulled away right away.

[@quynhanhphammai4653]

He was still unsure what he wanted, so I just told him to work on himself to be more secure

[@joymae]

OMG I GOT A FREAKIN ARTICLE LINK!!! It’s like you are reading my freakin life. I was like what the f*%# is that?!?

[@Zen4life-]

Thais, I simply love your videos and find them so helpful and informative! My ex DA did this and sent an emoji to me on the dating app we met on. I responded and silence on his end . TG I texted him and wished him happy Thanksgiving and asked him about his message ... he denied it! Crazy right!? Anyway I followed up with a text you suggested after being "ghosted by a DA" ...Silence on his end! So what else is there to do but leave him be ....like I was before the emoji he sent. Question....why deny it?

[@Nomad.Hawk_87]

What's beautiful to me in learning all of this, is also seeing to what degree human beings are equal by the amount of suffering they go through internally. Just remembering that directly connects me to compassion and forgiveness. It's not about being on this side or on this side, who's to blame for what... it's really about seeing one's own suffering, seeing the other's suffering (that might be different than ours) and move through difficulty with love and patience...

[@pitycircle4599]

I took the test as to what I am not too long and my results were mostly DA but I also have a few SA traits (which I am proud of) and I'm currently dealing with a break up. I got an E-Mail today and thought I might just give the video a try and oh my god they way it fits. I dated a DA and while I've been headed to the right direction, as in recognizing that what they're doing is 'wrong' aka I shouldn't foolishly be hopeful, this video helped me feel secure in what I've working through. I might take the test again, maybe it takes a DA to deal with a DA to grow? It's helping me for sure. Thank you for this video

[@joeleggett425]

Can u do a video on d.a's and rebound relationships? Please!🙏

[@kristijones6922]

Yes he was just like that after a break up! He wanted no emotional conversation. Minimal, selfish, and just sexual really. I feel like he likes me but doesn't want the commitment because that requires vulnerability. Sucks because everything was pretty good until he became afraid. Wow hit the nail on the head saying oh I'll understand attachment and see if I can be understanding. I think he's so high on the avoidant spectrum that bringing up him having an avoidant attachment also causes him to shut down. I'm in such a challenging situation... I felt such a strong connection, kind of like a twin flame, but we are long distance, he's military, and above all avoidant. I've built my self up towards secure, still a work in progress but so much better

[@nadiaventer3380]

My ex will just think that I am controlling her again when I want to speak about a situation that happend, I finally realised that my feelings and needs also matters. I do not want to get hurt anymore or hurt myself by overthinking and blaming myself. The only thing now is that I am now too scared of relationships, I can't even imagine being with someone again, after almost 9 years in a relationship, as an anxious attachment style person, and I think my partner is a DA. It was a Very difficult relationship, I was always willing to work on improving, but it doesn't work if it's only coming from one side.

[@tofg8398]

does your partner realized of their own attachment type, which is (DA) during the relationship ?

[@monicaoliver4041]

Thais I am an FA. There is no way I would EVER reach out to an ex. In fact I don't want them to reach out to me, especially if they have rejected me. I don't understand how anyone would feel safe getting back with someone who left you.

[@emmig7926]

Same

[@teenytinyteetee]

Sameee!

[@TofuTeo]

100%. FA here too. I already have such a hard time trusting, if I trusted someone and they hurt me bad, they're not coming close to me ever again. Sort of like an abused dog who will never give its abuser a second chance, however much they change.

[@kathrina.109]

i'm a FA: what do i do when i miss someone? - nothing. 😅 because i rarely miss someone unless i'm very lonely. and then i'm just too scared to get rejected, so i keep on missing them secretly. 😆✌🏼

[@joannegild8001]

I have focused on my own feelings and what is healthy for me, because if I get hurt it’s MY feeling and I can explore the why of it. I took a break from him for 2 weeks and it was good for me to see what life would be like without him.

[@meshonte]

Your videos are so helpful. Thank you!

[@beckym8245]

FA leaning anxious here. I have so much turmoil from feeling rejected. I want to make contact but am too scared to. I'll do the equivalent of tapping someone on the shoulder then ducking out of sight. I want the contact but I'm scared the answer will be no. Eventually, this is all too much so I have to totally vanish ("ghost") to get my equilibrium, and therefore my peace, back.

[@josezerpa8177]

No matter what acronyms people want to label themselves as to justify disrespect. Just walk away from whom doesn’t appreciate you and free your mind and calendar for new people and experiences.

[@Puzzledrev]

I think I'm a DA, but my daughter has cut me off, ghosted me with no explanation, and I'm devastated.

[@erxfav3197]

Where can I learn more about boundaries and relationship to self? @Personal development school - Thais Gibson

[@FahmidaFaiza42]

Please make one similar for FAs

[@smedmark1]

I’m FA and I only seem to get feelings for DAs. Most recently I’ve tried reaching out without emotion/vulnerability. I know that I can’t make myself vulnerable because he’s not showing up and showing me the right signs that he cares. 🤷‍♀️

[@kladjegaonie3449]

Hei. i didnt find "how to respond to your ex coming back"... can u link /help!! :) Thnx for ur content!