Simon Sinek & Trevor Noah on Friendship, Loneliness, Vulnerability, and More | Full Conversation

[@CollinRutherford]

The idea that we build trust by asking for help, not offering it, is a powerful reframe on vulnerability!

[@ismaillossini4145]

I agree! But it is also true that people have misused asking for help and blew up chances of being helped for those who really need it.

[@RandomThot]

Couldn't agree more! It takes guts to be vulnerable and admit you need help. I've been there myself recently, going through a life crisis , and it was amazing to see so many incredible people step up to support me. It's a shame that guys, especially, are often taught to hide their struggles. We need to change that :(

[@tawjeparker7203]

i did that. burnt to the ground.​@@RandomThot

[@AutisticVaxtard]

Catholics call it serving God or charity...

[@Blonde111]

Asking for help is hard for me because so many people have disappointed me and when I do ask for help, I rarely get it. Friends don’t reciprocate but expect everything from me.

[@JacquelineDixon-p9c]

My dad used to say "if you have at least one true friend in your lifetime you'll be damn lucky" he wasn't wrong.

[@lindabalent2755]

I've been blessed with some beautiful and memorable friends,,,from when I was not even yet in school and onward after that. I can't imagine it having been otherwise. Truly it's a blessing.

[@gardenjoy5223]

Somewhere in your lifetime. And then - based on a false understanding of a situation - you lose them. And it hurts so much.

[@nadiarivas14]

Am blessed by my lifelong friendship

[@SilungileNgcobo]

​@@nadiarivas14Truly blessed 🐳🤗

[@genesisramirez7]

Mine says the exact same thing.

[@holly_gmTwb]

"There is no sickness worse for any wise man than to have nothing to love."

[@chutney-h3o]

That's why English folk get dogs 😊

[@michelemoore4752]

Not being cruel but wouldn't that seem weird to do? Taken the wrong way?

[@holly_gmTwb]

@michelemoore4752 if it isn't genuine love, yes. A lot of people don't know how to love but mistake their toxic actions as such. Though I think it would still apply. If someone mistakes narcissistic possession with love, then they would be sick.

[@CoachLain]

I’ve never been happier than to see two people I HIGHLY admire, who I had NO IDEA knew each other, sit down and have a conversation! What a treat 😊❤

[@temitopeej8407]

This is so delicious.

[@hope1785]

Dude same!

[@jamesmoody9363]

​@😂temitopeej8407

[@JoyisaSC]

Same here

[@deidrecandicescholtz1535]

I know, right?!🎉

[@anitajones7090]

No one ever teaches you "how" to be a friend. I think my earliest concept of friendship was to do unto others, as you would have them do unto you. Show kindness. empathy, gratitude, patience, love to others, and you'll get back what you give. Then as I got older, I received the harsh reality that it's not always the case. True friendship for me is being my most authentic self and being accepted anyway.

[@K8mine]

very true. as you get older and wiser you understand better how to live with people. always being nice and expecting the same can mislead you majorly.

[@scottjustwrite]

My Mom & GMA both taught, spoke, & demonstrated how to be a good friend, always referencing Proverbs 18:24. I am blessed. And so because the law of reciprocity, you get what you give.

[@MichealScott-o5n]

I like what you wrote and what I get from all that is people are complex as they will amaze and disappoint you. Self acceptance is paramount and acceptance from another is nice but appreciation is the doorway to love and friendship. Thanks for your insight.

[@smartcornarenas]

Trevor and Simon should do a 2-hour podcast.

[@ipostsongs5305]

Right? Either of their podcast will do, as long as it's more than 30 minutes.

[@daisyabyaru9311]

Or a series....

[@sobiacsay2208]

I'd say 5hr!

[@sutejocandi]

@@daisyabyaru9311i vote for this weekly series an hour each damn that sounds amazing!!❤

[@AutisticVaxtard]

On the dangers of atheist Jews

[@egonetta007]

This is not an accident that I stumbled upon this conversation. I am 65 next month, all I need at this stage of life is to find a person (friend). In other words, I am looking for a friend to me as I am to others. I call, I check in, I listen, I offer what is needed but those emotions are not there for me. I struggle with that.

[@JnTmarie]

So sorry. They can’t be the right people or didn’t connect on the right energy. People have told me that I looked so together they didn’t think I was interested in being friends until I asked to connect with them. Have interests and passions and share them w others as you ask them what their passions and interests are. I am addicted to scrolling and information seeking and honestly it is less taxing then getting into someone’s stuff or them into mine. People want to keep it uncomplicated these days.

[@egonetta007]

@@JnTmarie positively a different prospective. I will try that approach just to see the response. 😀

[@rickisHomesteadAdventures]

They’re looking for you too 😘

[@melwtan]

Been going through evaluating my friendships. Working with my counsellor, I've come up with a list of criteria for me to help me identify good friends for me. It's not like some people are bad, they weren't returning the investments I made, or that we had some different values. One person even gaslighted me when I said no to their request, which I have now put on my list that they had to show compassion for me and respect my decision. It's a worthwhile exercise to try and define what makes a good friend for you and evaluate people on your checklist. Also make sure to ask people for small favours like they said in the video. Not only does it build trust, it also allows you to evaluate whether this is a friendship built on reciprocation or whether they are only there because they are getting something out of it. A true friend won't suddenly disappear when the "benefits" are gone.

[@c.j.9141]

We must be open to receive that love.....

[@madeline7903]

Most favorite part : we dont build trust by offering help, we build trust by asking for it ❤🎉 thank you SIMON!

[@bibiCism]

Such a great line!!!! Trevor 's last line is also over of my all time favourites: umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu - Zulu proverb. Literally means a person is a person because of other people. The understanding of this saying is a lot like 'i am because we are'. Left alone in the jungle; we are all animals. We show our humanity best in how we relate to other people (and animals).

[@zahramukadam9149]

Mine too

[@timetosee2]

Completely agree 👍

[@boniletlhabane5252]

We in an era of ppl preaching asking for help as entitlement or laziness.

[@farrahmiller]

💯

[@saintiiBDS]

When Trevor said " Umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu" I was so proud as a South African 🇿🇦

[@RichardSsekibuule]

This is 90% Luganda, a language spoken in Central Uganda. Did you guys migrate South or we migrated North?

[@mihlalimatross6710]

@@RichardSsekibuule Zulu and Luganda are both Bantu languages hence the similarities. The origins of Bantu speaking populations are in West Central Africa (around where Cameroon is) so it's us that migrated South😅

[@sizwesandilemtshali6011]

🙏❤️

[@niyoemmanuel7009]

Brenda Fassie taught us this phrase, just finding out the meaning today. I'm from Nigeria

[@Healingson]

@@niyoemmanuel7009 love to you from south africa my Nigerian friend ❤

[@CCMay_22]

I’m 44 years old. Married for 22 years. Stay at home mom of 2 young children. And for the first time in my life. I have friend(s)It’s absolutely new and scary territory for me, but, wow, has it been rewarding for me individually and for my little family!♥️♥️♥️♥️powerful

[@lordthunderpork]

"Put a name to who you sacrificed" is a helpful humanization, whoa. "Your friends will be there for you, your work won't", so many pieces to enjoy from this

[@bardsamok9221]

Well said thunderpork.

[@bardsamok9221]

'True' friends will be there for you. 'You know who your friends are when the sht hits the fan.'

[@quixote5844]

So many people say “I like to meet new people.” I say “What is wrong with the old people?” At age 74, I am still in touch with my two best friends from High School. Yes, It’s a lot of work, but it can be done and it’s worth it.

[@mohammadtausifrafi8277]

They like moving from new people to other new people, never being a true friend to anyone.

[@RandomThot]

Same here I have just a few friends known for last 25/30 years- and I am in mid 40s 🤫- i hate categorizing "acquaintances" as friends - and nurturing any relationship needs effort i cant afford it for new people

[@AutisticVaxtard]

Old people believe in the Holocaust That's no bueno

[@BussinBits]

i am 87 and left them behind a long time ago

[@JustinRiray]

I'd say a balance of both is great (depending on what sort of self-development you want). I also have long-standing friends since Kindergarten to High School), but the world is so diverse that I still meet a ton of new friends that give me new insight and fresh opinions on things. I learn things about their culture, their mindset, myself, that I wouldn't have learned had I not met those specific people. I very rarely give the amount of time and thought into these newer friends, but having a diverse and vast second or third level of friends can be very helpful and enjoyable. :)

[@GypsyInFenra]

There are plenty of people who don't want to burden friends with their problems, but then there are the people who don't know whether their friends will be able to support them in the way they would need if they opened up.

[@amytaylor2739]

YES this is the vulnerability aspect. Vulnerability is scary. It’s hard to be told no, but it is always a possibility, even mostly possible. Not everyone can help even if they would like to. Some people don’t want to help because of their own traumas. Having faith can be a slow slow process. Grieving necessary, first to yourself and then to those you feel safe enough to share with.

[@robertmiles1888]

"but then there are the people who don't know whether their friends will be able to support them in the way they would need if they opened up." This statement means there's still some level of wanting to control the situation because your friends' needs (letting them dictate their own healthy boundaries) are just as important and being vulnerable means also letting go of the control, the control to get "what you need (the way you defined it, you say what it is, no other way etc.)" a lot of the times, we don't really know what we needed. Why try to control your friends' and their behaviors?

[@amytaylor2739]

@@robertmiles1888 I think the point is that not everyone is ready to let go of that control. I can relate to that. I used to feel bad about not reaching out for help when I needed it. But then I realized I needed to wait for myself to be ready to do that.

[@meghan6438]

And another incredible common issue, people thinking their problems aren’t “real enough” or “big enough” to share them 😔

[@surbhi_27]

💯​@@meghan6438

[@thabomtimkhulu7451]

The last part of conversation where Trevor said: "I think we shouldn't take for granted how much the abandoning or the ignoring friendship has affected romentic relationships - because people have now shifted all the expectations, all of the support, all the love they get from a community of friends - and they have moved that unto one person. A lot of studies have also shown that even if you have that one friend you can talk sh**t with about your patner, improves chances of staying long with that patner" 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥😭This hit hard and hit home ✅✅✅

[@URBESTLYFE]

Yes!!!

[@NgendoTheSpontenous]

Super true

[@GrandmaCathy]

Yes!!

[@freedomlife3623]

My husband is my best friend, but we each also have our own friends. Feeling very lucky.

[@truthmatters1950]

@@freedomlife3623 As Gary Player said "The more I practice the luckier I get!" I suspect your friendships with both hubby & others comes from the hard work/investment that Simon & Trevor describe here. Well played ma'am and congratulations!

[@stevent1074]

This conversation made me remember a time when I was a better friend and a happier person. I’m going to try harder to be that person again

[@violetgreen]

Me too! I hope you succeed

[@MJBsays]

Brain crush is an understatement. These two have been my two favourite people for years. I will have this video on loop. Please do a podcast together!!

[@sannybakker]

same here, I would love them doing a series together

[@meghan6438]

I’ve watched Trevor for years but this is the first I’ve heard of/from Simon and man was this a treat! I love these two!

[@michaelkilpatrick]

Trevor Noah is nowhere near the same league as Simon Sinek lol, not even close.

[@margaretsearle5173]

​@@michaelkilpatrick Did you notice, Simon enjoyed points Trevor raised?

[@susanhensley9444]

Simon has a recent post with Trevor.

[@GarrettAvery108]

I have decades of personal experience with drug use, addiction, recovery, and rehab. There is ZERO "might" in this statement. Fulfilling friendships absolutely lowers chance of addiction and raises chances for recovery.

[@thomasdequincey5811]

I don't think that's true. Because I think the path of addiction begins in childhood. It is fulfilling relationships with parents that is required to give the child the tools and the knowledge to make the healthiest decisions.

[@PenelopeBryer]

Can't it include both ❤

[@sundayoliver3147]

@@thomasdequincey5811 If you've gotten beyond childhood, then it's time to fill those needs through people who aren't your parents. Friendship can be part of that. It's not as if if you don't have it as a child, you can never have it. That has its effect, but you don't have to be helpless to that effect. Nice avatar name for a discussion on addiction, by the way!

[@FranciscoArtavia]

At the end of the AA Big Book “main” section, before the stories, the chapter “A Vision for You” is amazingly about friendship. This is also why recovery is a community thing, you don’t do AA on your own without the meetings. But the meetings are not because of themselves, but because of the people, the friends/strangers.

[@margaretsearle5173]

​@@thomasdequincey5811 And what if the parents don't/can't provide... maybe because they were traumatise? If possible, seek out trauma-informed help, physical (e.g. Bowen) or therapist

[@1rogerkoeppl]

We are putting too much pressure on our work and romantic relationships because of the lack of interactions in other instances of our lives. And it's not fair. Thank you Simon and Trevor.

[@chutney-h3o]

Put emphasis on your family instead then. Western nations have promoted individualism, shoved their elders in care homes and pampered to their children until they take off too. Compare this to eastern and African cultures that have better mental health than you guys!

[@tonymurphy9112]

22 years of living in the UAE I have lost all my friends. As an EXPAT you meet friends that come and go, and it's so difficult to even maintain relationships from a distance. However my long time child friends, The Famous Five back in my home country, we. still keep in touch and when. I meet with them it's like I saw them last week. Friends for life.

[@brendadotter4433]

Good for you, Tony! You don't need a LOT of friends . . . just a few good ones! Long distance friendship is HARD, but you are reminding me that it's worth the effort!

[@ronny-lb1cr]

Why did you leave home for so long? if you don't mind this question.

[@pashukeni_]

Friendships are extremely vital and I don't think we understand what it takes in being that friend. "We build trust by asking for help, not offering it" such a profound statement!!

[@0ffendingeverybody]

"The best boat..is your friend's boat"

[@hahnkim7426]

the best ships, are friendships

[@GreenwoodAudioCreations]

@@hahnkim7426 Spoken like a EVE Online player.

[@chutney-h3o]

Family first. Friends are fickle.

[@katharinezink2576]

@offendingeverybody I’m not even offended by that! 😂

[@mazwiphakathi5331]

That hit home

[@glendarok]

“How goes it with your soul?” Is a most genuine question. Never say “hello how are you?”, “howzit?” ….don’t ask unless you have the time to listen, deeply and intentionally.

[@boniletlhabane5252]

Amen

[@SunflowerFlowerEmpire]

Hello how is your soul is so cringe and converty. Let me intently deeply insten and then deeply convert your soul to the righteous way.... Please never ever ask that question. Please always be invested in deep listening and not judging, not preachy and definitely don't convet people.

[@JaNouWatIkVind]

Preachy is independent of the wording, I think. Anything can be said with an intonation of disdain or veritable intent. Even saying “oh?” can be said with curiosity or judgmentally. I just stray to the latter 😅

[@bodie1098]

The Quakers say, How prospers thy Truth? It has nothing to do with conversion, just a sincere invitation for people to share from the ❤@@SunflowerFlowerEmpire

[@Luffy-su1ho]

I dunno bruh, I've gone on record asking people deeper types of things, but since the vast majority of people never really self reflect and introspect, they just either reply uninthusastically or don't know how to reply

[@pumasalvatore1965]

"Umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu" Such a natural conversation Worth millions of podcasts

[@tonistokes1790]

Ultimately I sacrificed myself by believing work was so important that I missed my brother’s second wedding and time spent with friends and families over the years. This belief was fear-based from childhood trauma of “being poor” and the belief that to avoid being poor ever again I had to work hard to get ahead. It was only after burnout and major depression from burning the candle at both ends that I learned just how essential F&F are to our happiness and well-being.

[@mwalimumartin101]

Heartily true. Hope you got help and feel better esp living on with some of these very deeply emotionally painful things we have to work thru. This seems to bw the script that even causes some parenting issues esp our aide of Africa..thru overcompensation

[@eduardodiaz2649]

Finally, someone talking about something I have been discussing with friends for years…why people are so lonely today. We are social animals at our core. Something has happened.

[@rodart1945]

Two amazing men, so well spoken and open minded, the world needs more men like these to mentor the younger generation!

[@rejaneflorinda6162]

Maybe you should become one these men

[@rodart1945]

@@rejaneflorinda6162 Trust me, I am doing my best. Young men in Africa are hungry for male leadership that inspires them. I have no idea.

[@SunflowerFlowerEmpire]

There is Robert Sapolsky.

[@ronny-lb1cr]

​@@rejaneflorinda6162 I as a men am not on Trevor's and Simon's intellectual level as to lead and inspire. But the thought that I'm not like Trump or Netanyahu is quite uplifting. 😂

[@heatherdunham4562]

I have a best friend that now lives across the country, and she was such a good friend by saying, we’re going to talk on the phone every Wednesday night even if it’s only for 10 minutes. If she hadn’t done that I would have felt like I was intruding on her new life. This is silly, but she must have seen that and wanted to fix that. What a good friend thing to do!

[@patternsofpossibility]

What a great way to stay connected!

[@Chasing-the-outdoors]

Keep it up! I moved across the country 8 years ago and loved hearing from my best friend. Lost him in January and can’t get past this huge piece missing from my life.

[@memyselfi726]

Children are born knowing how to be friends. We need to let them stay friendly and teach them the importance of friendships.

[@gardenjoy5223]

Sorry, that's just not true. Science is not backing you up here. Children need to carefully be taught to accept others and be kind, honest and sharing. For out of themselves, children tend towards being selfish, dishonest and denying other people's rights.

[@susyporter9212]

@@gardenjoy5223What is the source of your “science?” I’m a child development expert, teacher, and a mother. While children benefit greatly from being taught by loving parents, they are not born with these propensities you describe. Every child is unique. It’s better to see them as a blank page, or to see the innocence and beauty within them than to “imagine” that they are selfish and cruel. We shouldn’t generalize, yet as an overall truth, a well loved child will love herself and others. Children are innocent, and to project adult judgments upon them is a profound disservice. If you research this subject, there is ample evidence to show that children, and adults as well, who are loved, accepted, and emotionally supported will grow to become caring human beings. To see a child as naturally selfish is not scientific, or true. I pray that we can focus upon the innocence within each other, and within our children too. From this place we can educate, guide, and nurture their better nature and qualities to create a world where we can live together in friendship and peace. Take care. I’m not trying to be argumentative, I just felt compelled to defend the innocence of children.

[@susyporter9212]

Children go through developmental stages, and are described as “egocentric”, but we need to think of this in a larger perspective, as a developmental stage of differentiation and growth, and not presume that they are “selfish” in the same way an adult might be.

[@pattiohanley4620]

just watch how children become friends, they do it in all innocence without judgement

[@karenroberts1662]

Can this be a “60 minute feature, a 6 pm news feature, a college required course.” Loved this whole discussion.

[@lubpaim]

In Brazil we say: “ Friends worth more than money “. We are not afraid to ask for help or to show our vulnerabilities, and we say I love you all the time! I currently live in Texas, and every day before and after work I call one person of my family or a friend, just to keep in touch! Thank you for reinforce how friends are important. I’ve been called “unprofessional “ at work for leaving earlier to receive a couple of friend from Australia that we didn’t see for 19 years ( just video calls). It was amazing, and I don’t regret it!!! Thank you thank you.

[@denise2169]

Simon is rich beyond measure and understands what money cannot buy. Friends are not only there for you, they don’t try to change you, even if you are feeling sad. Thank you!

[@triniliffo6495]

What he said at min 14:30 was the most profound so far: we don't build trust by offering help, we build trust by asking for it. Definitely makes you see relationship building from a different side 👍👍👍

[@bardsamok9221]

It's a false dichotomy. Both are true.

[@mambwekawangalitana-mhango147]

My motto has always been to be the friend you want to have - loyal, trustworthy, loving, accountable, caring. You will attract who you are..

[@bigglyguy8429]

Nah, did that for decades, came to realize that obvious truth is actually not true. Not saying I have the answers, but I can say that's not it. Sadly enough.

[@inevski]

Folklore in a dog eat dog world

[@GuacamoleyNacho]

U are too ignorant. U 100% be taken advantage of by many people and they wont appreciate your kindness, instead they take it that they deserve to receive all the good outcome of your work. U will attract only bad lousy people. U need abundant luck to find someone with these good virtues.

[@GuacamoleyNacho]

U are too ignorant. U will attract only bad, lousy people who takes advantage of u. U need abundant luck to find someone with these virtues. @Inevski sums it up best!

[@egonetta007]

@@GuacamoleyNacho 😀😀it is the absolute truth. Call it maturity but, have you ever noticed when you say hello and how are you to anyone. How many would stop and listen to that brief exchange.. It always amazes me.

[@pdagwa]

"We don’t build trust by offering help, we build trust by asking for it!"

[@cheryldurkee]

My grandmother always said, A friend in need is a friend indeed. :)

[@puppypoet]

I think ADHDers, especially late diagnosed people like me, will understand how comforting it is to watch two ADHD people come together and talk about how to make the world better in a way we can understand.

[@InnerGiggles]

Especially on friendship. Sometime my ADHD makes it hard to show up as a good friend. The racing mind won’t stop and before I know it, days have past and I forgot to check in.

[@zaneleradebe2808]

​@@InnerGiggles🤗

[@InnerGiggles]

@@zaneleradebe2808 🫶🏼

[@rpetersen3801]

Are they both ADHD?

[@puppypoet]

@@rpetersen3801, yes!! 😁💛

[@fevenhaddis595]

Amen brothers 🙏 My mom has friends for over 60 years and still fond of each other. On the other hand, I don't even have a single friend whom I have deep relationship. Wow this is an eye opener Thank you.

[@aijarkyna]

You guys owe a podcast together to this world!!!❤

[@AKASHROY-i9f]

❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@SunflowerFlowerEmpire]

Also enjoy Robert SAPOLSKY.

[@MichaelKevin-l6y]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

[@Marianna-e6w]

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back

[@MichaelKevin-l6y]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?

[@Marianna-e6w]

Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@MichaelKevin-l6y]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

[@lonimcgackin3062]

@@MichaelKevin-l6yas much as you’re hurting (which I understand personally), don’t open yourself up to “spiritual counselors” promising to “get your ex back.” Those practices are demonic in nature and prey on your pain and hurt to get money from you. That “knowledge” they have and claim to have access to is not coming from a good place.

[@the13mas]

I watched this. I immediately called my friend (we’re both in our late 30s and busy with work). I haven’t heard from him for a while. He said “I miss you man”. I said “I miss you too”. It was a good feeling that we still have it. Thank you Simon and Trevor

[@leekosub1196]

Simon Sinek, always on the cutting edge, yet also stating the obvious. So brilliant!

[@Sunsaintsandwaves]

Exactly

[@jonathanchristiansen]

well said!

[@norrisyu530]

"we build trust by asking for help, not offering help".....wow Thank you Simon. This will stick with me

[@RandomThot]

The moment you lower your guard in front of someone - you are communicating - "Hey I trust you" !

[@eshanspeaking]

' We build trust by asking for help, not offering help ' ❤

[@mochelo75]

If goes both ways. Offering help means i got you asking for help means i need you

[@matthewbernstein5481]

I've always been so proud of my friend group. No shame, no judgement. Disagreement, absolutely. Love? ALWAYS. My boys always say I love you at the end of every conversation. Straight, gay, trans, no matter. I love you. And men out there who struggle - try it. I don't exactly know why this group is so lucky to be open and accepting at all times, but if you start you can do the same. What they are describing is my friend life. And I wouldn't trade it for anything.

[@gjs135]

If this is true, thanks to you and your Friendship Circle for assisting to make the world a safer, more stable and flourishing place.

[@alexgoslar4057]

Thank you Trevor, for inviting Simon Sinek, to your discussion.

[@Eileen_on]

My mama always told me , if you ever have just one true friend, count yourself Lucky. I have never forgotten that

[@mungwebongumenzi1070]

I honestly Love these two gentlemen, they are real friends of Humanity.

[@SunflowerFlowerEmpire]

Also listen to Robert Sapolsky.

[@authorcourtneydailey]

"The best boat is your friend's boat." ❤

[@JustinRiray]

I have been telling my friends I love them since I was in college. It's so healthy!

[@teresamcalister7096]

in my many decades of experiences I am aware that when men are faced with retirement they are unable to know WHO they are outside of their Profession. An identity issue. Relationships were around work. Now they are lonely.

[@manojsurya]

This video almost made me cry. I felt lonely because I refused to ask for help. Then I figured the pattern and tracked myself meeting two times a week with my friends somehow. Really changed my mental state for good and better quality life.

[@rachellehatt]

Love this whole talk! What insights! "You don't build trust by offering help. You build trust by asking for help."

[@AZekO7]

what in the world. i've always LOVED Simons and Trevor's unique, strategic way of thinking soooooo clearly I manifested this. You're all welcome :)

[@AZekO7]

If Russell Brand joins, then it's definitely me.

[@bardsamok9221]

​@@AZekO7I'm not sure far right conspiracy theories are going to improve the recipe.

[@AZekO7]

@@bardsamok9221 meant for his mindset/different way of thinking and less so on political, click bait bs.

[@jhodapp]

Wow, I am floored by the rich insights into what it means to be human that are strewn throughout this conversation! As a man myself, I was both moved and challenged by Simon asking if I dare to say "I love you" to my friends! I'm absolutely "guilty" of watering it down because of all kinds of uncomfortable feelings that come up when I think about saying it to anyone other than family. I love seeing two very public men not only be deeply vulnerable on stage, but in such an appropriate, thoughtful and helpful way! This is a message worth spreading - the world needs more of what's discussed here and less of the fear and hatred and exclusion speech.

[@AutisticVaxtard]

We construe love and lust Study the Saints

[@bryanwilson7271]

By the grace of God Simon

[@actingapostlesage]

😂 ikr

[@luckym6665]

Well, higher power can only be God and from God 😊

[@lkade7375]

My friend Simon was not willing to show his vulnerability to giving glory to GOD in public, how then will he build trust with true friends who would love you even if you "dare" admit God? Simon, I love you and God bless you all the same.

[@ebruozyurek5266]

Friendships are so underrated in our society. There are more and more people suffering from loneliness, cause we live in this 'need to be busy' and over achieving world. We need more action in developing back deep connections and should less focus on perfectionism. We overload ourselves to the max in our mind, but keeping the load full in the most important spot our heartspace became an unwanted challenge. Additionally, the second life on digital platforms are intense, cause they limit our time extremely, so there is less room for friendships, showing love, putting effort in, stick for through good and bad. As always the both are amazing to listen to!!! Must be so wonderful to have Simon Sinek & Trevor Noah in your friendgroup 😍 🙌🏻

[@limavalepy]

Exactly! The time we spent on social networks should have been spent on social interactions or fullfilling a pasion or doing something else! So much wasted time doing nothing! 😢

[@Prodrig817]

Ecclesiasticus 6:14 reads that faithful friends are a sturdy shelter; whoever finds one has found a treasure. This means that friends are found, not made.

[@zenon3021]

Deut. 25:11-12 “If two Israelite men get into a fight and the wife of one tries to rescue her husband by grabbing the testicles of the other man, you must cut off her hand. Show her no pity.” Deut. 22:28-29 “If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her.

[@leonardosahon]

​@@zenon3021what?

[@Alienanywhere]

A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

[@Prodrig817]

@@Alienanywhere thank you for the distinction. I had forgotten that there’s a distinction between the levels of friendship. In a multitude of friendly people, I seek the one that sticks closer than a brother.

[@patricelockertanthony7630]

No, it doesn’t. It means that the version of the Bible you read says, “find” and that interpreted that to mean a single perspective. Search for the original scripture and look up what it meant when it was written. Language embraces culture and culture changes as history becomes today. The scriptures are not to be read as simple. They are complex. It is why God wants us to reject blind faith and be disciples (students of the word) instead.

[@rijgrg1]

Can’t wait for Sinek’s book on friendship

[@sherilyn_writer_my6086]

When Trevor started speaking Zulu, he embodies humility to embrace his roots. It is wonderful

[@Novilicious]

I’ve been a terrible friend my whole life. The biggest step is to recognize it and fix it. Let go of the ego and be free!

[@duongvuhoanganh]

1. One of the best feelings in life is to do something good in silence and have someone recognize you for it out loud to the world. What happened on stage is to have an equally intellectual mate congratulate you on exactly who you are and qualities that you dedicate your life to demonstrate them. Simon is always one of the best humans of our generation. 2. It’s good to see Trevor back to his true audience and be so comfortable around people with the same sense of humor.

[@stewart2606]

Umuntu ungumuntu ngabantu!!! Love your ending Trevor to a lovely chat with Simon🙌

[@em413]

You know I have done all the things Simon is talking about & still lost friends. Unfortunately to their work…..their status. It is truly sad….people just don’t give friendship importance. It’s just what one can get out of the other

[@PenelopeBryer]

Machiavellians

[@elizabethhiebert1859]

But think about it, in American society at least, most of what the dominant culture talks about as desirable or as being a success is money or acquiring objects. I am guessing here, but maybe that whole "asking for help" thing is a kind of filter, separating out people that have differing amounts of ability to connect to others, or differing amounts of valuing connecting with others. Thank you for sharing your experiences. I wish you the best in the coming years!!

[@timmyjohnstontv]

Two of my favourite people on stage at the same time! Amazing.

[@karlenedavies6655]

What the world needs now are more friendships. There's too many lonely people out there.

[@hakimaa8660]

To live without friends is the real resilience and gratitude. It’s solitude strengthens the kindness and compassion to be a friend to all, while none recognise you as their friend. H.A.

[@esmeraldareynoso3412]

I love these two men! ❤ They are the type of men that we need as role models for our young men who desperately need it. ❤

[@edgeacademy7113]

What Trevor said about Simon at the beginning is ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!! THANK YOU Simon for all that you do!!

[@ethelbondoc3281]

Thank you Simon and Trevor for sharing your Insights and experiences and the impact on the world listening to you is beyond measure...and With humility because you both recognize and acknowkedge there is a Higher Source of Light above you.

[@shainanash8518]

This is so true and wise. I lived in Texas for 12 years because it was cheaper than Cali. I missed my friends. I rather live in a tent in Cali than a mansion in Texas.

[@kitkat22322]

Dang! That's love

[@PierogiInspired]

We need more of these conversations out there. Too often we are stuck in an echo chamber of problems without looking outside for answers.

[@amarachukwukenneth]

We don't build trust by offering help, we build trust by asking for it

[@ill2eww]

This is the podcast we all NEED! Y’all need to have more public thought provoking talks because this was beautiful.

[@maribelbaltadano1537]

Two of the MOST BEAUTIFUL minds of this generation! ❤👏🏽👏🏽

[@beawinna9878]

I'm proud of how I've been there for my friends and they have supported me through hard times. Now, at 65, so many of them have passed. I should have cultivated younger buddies! It's been hard for me. I'm friendly but most folks it seems are pretty entrenched in their own lives. I'll keep trying but losing folks who've known me for 30-40 years has left a big hole in my life. I'm enjoying this conversation, it's important to be genuine with each other.

[@lincolnanthony1]

You will only meet 3 to 5 people that you’re truly connected to. I have 3 friends for the last 30 years and it doesn’t matter where we are or what’s happening in our lives or the world, we’re there for each other. And, we always say I love you for each other. Friends are crucial. It’s a relationship that when nurtured, it last forever.

[@tammylong5945]

My son is one of those angry, lost, uneducated young men you spoke of…it breaks my heart!

[@gregory650]

This was Brilliant! I hope Simon and Trevor consider revisiting this conversation again, and again. There are so many valuable lessons that can benefit people. 👏🏽👏🏽

[@brentpeddy4223]

It's great to see Noah back again. It was easy to hate him during the pandemic for giving into the narrative but before that I had always respected him for his intelligence and thoughtfulness and humor. Glad to see this combination of great minds in conversation!

[@Positivecuriosity46]

Most people don’t know how to have reciprocal friendships. I start every meeting this way, and then it becomes lopsided. I feel like I’m everyone’s therapist because I’m a good listener. I actually had to learn to get tougher. I’ve got a proven record as helping people and neighbors.

[@Welcomewearehere]

Yes the balance is off and it can lead to feelings of it being one sided. I struggle with boundaries but have gotten a lot better at establishing it with others now. Sometimes others feels reciprocating means giving their power away (that control aspect) and it’s so devastating honestly because they don’t see how it interferes with a genuine bond and connection of trust that could have been built. A friendship is a two way street.

[@abhinavubuntu]

Friendship is an ignored skill. Let's master it 💪🌱

[@fernandablonski]

For someone who’s been awake since 3:10 am today, going through a very very rough time, and who’s just had a friend showing up unexpectedly at my place (because I couldn’t ask for help, but she knew something was wrong)… coming across this video makes me see and believe… yeah there is some magic in the world… I really need this today… I will save and ACT upon this talk for a good time to come until it becomes so intrinsic in my human being that I will never dare again not ask for help from them. Thank you. I really mean that.

[@ms.bernadetteteacherfortod6519]

I've also noticed that now that we can look up just about anything on the internet, we don't call our friends anymore for help. I feel like calling our friends for advice on fixing a leaky faucet or for a good chili recipe actually helps strengthen our connections.

[@DharmaRakshatiRakshitaha]

I have huge crushes on both these men. Amazing to hear their conversation on such a wonderful heart-centered topic.

[@mambwekawangalitana-mhango147]

I have a lovely group of friends - they balance me and give me a safe space to breathe.

[@juliussigu4041]

In Kenya the saying goes "Mtu ni mtu wa watu" or alternatively one can say "Ruto ni mwizi." Glad to learn a new saying "Umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu"

[@chiartspire]

I really agree with Trevor and Simon on the importance of genuine friendship in our modern society. Aside having friends outside your family, I believe it is quite important to have family members that are your friends. Many people are connected only by blood but the real beauty of it is when they get to a stage of a rich relationship and sincere affection.

[@donnam1832]

No one is there for most. Work offers no support. No friends because all we do is work. Family not there. We are all alone

[@chandamubangachipoya4625]

The other relationship that came to mind was the relationship between The FATHER, the Son and the Holy Spirit They have such a beautiful and awesome relationship

[@bethcarter1819]

In this life I have been overburdened with psychological backlog from a familial hand-down, but I realised years ago now that part of what my self-sabotage was that I didn't know how to be a friend. We had moved so much when I was a child that at key points of development, I was left meeting new people over and over and over. That moment that Simon points out, "Remember that time when we went . . .," I don't have that. No, I was not a military brat. In order for me to learn how to stop sabotaging myself, I had to learn how to be a good friend. I've spent decades at it because that backlog was a lot to sort out and process. I'll be 56 at the end of this month and I'm finally coming to a close on familial issues and I'm ready to have friends, but I don't behave as most people do now. My reaction/responses differ from others because it's taken so long to process the things that got put on my proverbial plate as a child. The most important thing that I heard here, macrocosmic/microcosmic, is that to earn trust you must ask for help. It's got to be the hardest thing for me since whenever I was most vulnerable is when family members decided to kick me when I was down. Earning friends is a huge endeavor for me.

[@brendadotter4433]

Don't give up, Beth! Some friends are out there just waiting for you to find them. I'm 72, and I know this.😊😊

[@michaeljohanwilliem4296]

2 men with such deep influential curiosities who cares that believes this conversation is important for the world. To put a good use of the blessing we have on the platforms we have today is so rare nowadays.

[@nuttypinks4505]

For a moment at the end, after such a hearty conversation and the compliments you both extended towards each other, the natural reaction would have been to hug each other.

[@melindapotgieter8993]

It’s not about friends, it’s about the connection, instead of your status. It’s about being human and living from our heart.

[@bernadettenoll8574]

Friends = connection

[@melindapotgieter8993]

@@bernadettenoll8574 not always. If you have friends for the wrong reason, or the wrong friends. It won’t have the same effect.

[@inevski]

The more comments i read, the more overrated this bromantic talk is. They're the privileged talking about friendship to finesse their success. For the unequals in society friendship can be fraught with unfair unspoken terms.

[@ronny-lb1cr]

​​@@inevskiTrevor was poor and at the bottom of society before he became privileged. The question is whether the fast success has changed him so much that he's out of touch. I don't think so as he still has his best friends

[@inevski]

@@ronny-lb1cr I have nothing against the individuals. I wish they'd have their 1-2-1 conversation, on their platform if it's so interesting. And not make everything a prescription. Because they are literally talking about their own socioeconomic circumstances. I think there's more of a 360 reading the comments. I think the getting into bed segment is ludicrous. I can't remember every gist of it now. I don't believe it touched on the challenges for those lower down the food chain. I do find it odd when people want to hear more of it rather than engaged in applying it. I think friendship these days can be very affected by narcissism, neoliberal capitalism, and service industry dominating community and wellbeing in name only.

[@anolis6804]

Great conversation. I cried in the morning before my work starts. I’ll have more happy days in my life because of this

[@charleschapa5667]

A "warrior" has nothing to do with war or violence. That is a soldier. A warrior is an authentic person whose truths are universal and lead to justice and equity.

[@gflocktube]

One line I've said to my closest friends is 'thank you for making my life better'. I'm fortunate enough to have two friends with whom I'm close enough to, to say 'I love you'

[@willcityaway7971]

I have four 3am friends. Zero 6 pm friends. They keep me sane. Know them in ways no one can or will. Very specfic to each one. Dealt with Depression my entire life. This is great advice. My kids need to hear this when they're ready. Important point. When someone is ready.

[@liviannafaria]

This is So Wonderful to See. Love listening to You Simon Sinek and Nice to see Trevor Noah joining You♥

[@celcom711]

In my bucket list of "people I would like to meet before I die", these two are definitely my top 5. Thank you for this. Love from Malaysia 🇲🇾

[@8ar6ara]

Many years ago after nearly 12 years of marriage my husband introduced me as "my friend" -- I was so touched. We were friends as well as lovers and parents to our kids.

[@vaunthomas]

Totally refreshing. Things like these are worth sharing with as many persons as we can. The world will inherently be a better place for us, our children, and the generations to come.

[@faroalip6470]

This is the most valuable talk I've ever heard on KZbin! Simon is a Legend!