So I decided to become a psychopath in BitLife and somehow developed the touch of death

I'm not the most successful thief, but at least I became an effective prisoner...
Watch live at: / eazyspeezy
▶ Twitter: / eazyspeezy
▶ Instagram: / eazyspeezy
Welcome to BitLife where you can live off your fantasies, or in my case, make someone become as miserable as possible. That's my favorite personally. I decided to become a psychopath and steal a lot of money but only ended up with $38,326. Kinda disappointing. At least I developed an interesting fighting technique in prison.
#EazySpeezy #BitLife #Simulation

[@EazySpeezy]

Nope, this isn't a speedrun today cause I like doing casual stuff too sometimes! Don't worry, more speedrunning will be on the way but I hope you enjoy regardless

[@feiwu14]

@Anna Henrichsen haha

[@feiwu14]

What will your next speedrun be?

[@ddog0670]

Speedrun nerf n-strike for the wii, bet you won't.

[@shadowpanther298]

You won't speedrun vex4.io

[@creppruby]

Please do more casual things

[@szepad3687]

“He’s just a mall cop so I think we should probably escape” famous last words...

[@DR23456]

Turns out he was up against Paul Blart

[@queezydragon]

@@DR23456 that's exactly what I thought to haha

[@Z4SS0]

@@DR23456 LOL

[@clashingflames]

@@DR23456 yeah don't underestimate the legend

[@iLikePistachios]

@@DR23456 oh god

[@archived1573]

"I feel like you shouldn't be threatening a 6 year old" Thanks for the life advice EazySpeezy, couldn't have figured that without you.

[@heisenberg2467]

Yes you should

[@feepentertainment6752]

This but unironically

[@chinyereudeh3405]

@@feepentertainment6752 I worry for you

[@unwillfullyignorant7805]

Wait, I shouldn’t of stomped that 6 year olds teeth in for saying I’m a poopoo head?

[@savanaho7687]

@@unwillfullyignorant7805 I SEE YOUR PFP EVERYWHERE AND I LOVE IT

[@junereishi]

* Ages up * **Looks go down** I didn’t expect to be called out like that.

[@BedrockDragon]

Bruh how to replies

[@weregay9119]

@@BedrockDragon yes

[@Moominvalleybiggestfanyearsago]

@@BedrockDragon No

[@YN.97]

fr i thought u were supposed to get prettier when u hit puberty 🏃‍♀️💨

[@XeroOps]

@@YN.97 same

[@ZFanz]

"so i was forced to drop out of the middle school for just stealing from a pimp??" *literally stole a diamond*

[@xdsmile5359]

Yeah that would do it

[@TheArklyte]

1)pimp isn't an official profession in US; 2)IRS would have a lot of questions about a jobless guy having a diamond. So nope, here a pimp would be the one in jail.

[@cycrothelargeplanet]

@@TheArklyte ig that makes sense

[@dheatlyblaze2846]

"Wait, i can commit a crime already?" -every children ever

[@stjeep]

me when i stole a yo-yo when i was 7

[@AnAceBrit]

@@stjeep Why wasn't i that cool. I stole like 20 pens, then a teacher spotted me

[@stjeep]

@@AnAceBritwhat were you planning to do with 20 pens LOL!!

[@AnAceBrit]

@@stjeep I'm not too sure, I guess I just wanted to see how many pens I could aquire without getting noticed, like a pen goblin

[@TheMultiRaphael]

@@AnAceBrit lol, you're a pen goblin XD

[@jolynecujoh9518]

"i'm in the mood to make others miserable" *eazyspeezy woke up and chose violence*

[@everestlol4309]

hey its my favorite jojo, prison lesbian

[@RealisticFar]

Hello daughter.

[@mahziyartavakoli8330]

Well Jolyne did the same am I wrong?

[@emu2746]

@@everestlol4309 Jolyne isn’t a lesbian though

[@everestlol4309]

@@emu2746 its a joke lol

[@Samantha-vo4xw]

"I don't really care about happiness, I care about money" - Maya Moorehead

[@547t_gaming]

Haha yes

[@aramadmi]

more head 😏

[@spodreman7732]

money makes him happier than happiness does

[@partIycIoudy]

Seems legit jk

[@BudhiMahardhikaWarabrata]

@@partIycIoudy unfortunately some people could be like that...

[@littlebeesam]

I love how many times he says he has to get his life on the straight and arrow path but then immediate makes his life worse with an even bigger crime

[@hurbman1736]

Demonstrating addiction without even trying to demonstrate addiction basically

[@b0tty18]

“Now we already have someone who wants to be our friend” Me: Reject humanity

[@Joe_Mama661]

Become monke

[@70Lu07]

I REJECT MY HUMANITY JOJO!

[@weebsarepeopletoo3740]

Reject humanity return to *m o n k e*

[@tvgaming2132]

Embrace friendship Reject loneliness

[@b0tty18]

Was waiting for that “Become monke” ending. Got it

[@dokchampa9324]

Character: *Smarts 90%* Also the same character: *Gets sent to jail as a middle schooler*

[@amaanverma8248]

Who the fuck said that if you are smart you cannot be a criminal Big Criminal are not dumb they all have brain or puppet of a big brain

[@corvus196]

Intelligence and wisdom are two very different things

[@dirtydan9785]

"I'm just gonna train until I'm a black belt..." "Whoa!! I killed them with just my fists?!?!?!?!?!?!" lol

[@passthesaltak7718]

*laughs* Teacher: you've dug your grave

[@xxamightystormxx]

I like to imagine that this game is just a god like entity that lets you actually control peoples live and playthroughs like this are the reason serial killers and mafioso are a thing xD

[@capuchinosofia4771]

*oh*

[@icedragonslayer467]

same as all viruses and diseases/epidemics are just some dude on plague inc

[@SkyStarGazing]

@@icedragonslayer467 bro covid is just some guy in area 51 playing plague inc on the wrong computer

[@theorange3842]

@@SkyStarGazing btw i think hes getting good

[@quitted7276]

@@theorange3842 almost *too* good. What difficulty they be playing on?

[@watinc.9918]

I like how joseph was almost full on the craziness meter and he said he was looking for someone more stable

[@firetrap2591]

fr tho...

[@rickyroughton8098]

I remember one particular BitLife run where a combination of luck and good choices allowed my character to survive so long that he got to watch his bloodline die out as his grandkids peacefully passed from old age. Keeping him happy became... difficult, with how time was starting to inexorably erase everything he ever cared about.

[@zarif1217]

damn when did ur character die

[@SwiftlySev]

how long did he survive

[@_JustJoe]

God damn, how old was he?

[@pustota7254]

Answer the questions or stop lying.

[@insertunoroginalnamehere6189]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA My oldest character got PTSD at age 110 bc his multiple wives kept dying and he had healthy relationships will all of them and bc for some reason I decided to live in a haunted house that had a demon Wich would attack my character every once in a while He got to age 129 Also I didn't have any kids bc I hate having kids in bitlife

[@aperson6562]

Ah yes, which eleven year old doesn’t have 2000 dollars? His parents are really on some drugs😂

[@9nikolai]

And the child is paying for the drugs

[@LemorJamus]

@@9nikolai Or making it, I like to think it's up for interpretation

[@The-blackghost36]

@@LemorJamus he makes the drugs and buys them and sells them for more

[@WindshieldWiper30000]

When I was 3 l got a dollar that was worth 1000 dollars in Korean money and 16 years later I still have it, never went to Korea.

[@stormfalcon1232]

@@WindshieldWiper30000 1000 South Korean won is only about 1 USD.

[@mattchandler2387]

"I find myself wondering a lot lately about how nothing is on fire, fire is on things" - Bitlife, 2020

[@honeyyandwine]

criminal lives are so much fun in bitlife. the best one i’ve ever done was one where i got sent to juvie 3 times, joined the mafia at 18 and made it all the way to underboss before i got whacked by a rival gang. and of course, sometimes you just gotta make a career out of GTA and murder for the hell of it.

[@meowpth]

prison inmate: who’d ya kill mate? speezy: b u t t e r a s s🧍‍♀️

[@awesomeninja1311]

Nice pfp(unironically)

[@jupiter2175]

@@awesomeninja1311 tone dead barddd

[@awesomeninja1311]

@@jupiter2175 tone deaf*

[@liseegeskov8769]

@@awesomeninja1311 No he meant dead

[@OkamiKai6980]

@Gabriel Damasceno Meurer Ehe Te Nandayo!

[@RonintheJounin]

***BREAKING NEWS*** LOCAL BANK ROBBED BY A MAN IN A SKELETON SUIT, SEEMING TO RESEMBLE A SKIN FROM THE HIT GAME "FORTNITE" COPS ARE STILL LOOKING FOR THE SUSPECT

[@Gamer88334]

Nobody could get a decent view of the suspect because their eyes were tearing up. Not out of fear, but out of laughter because of how ridiculous the whole situation was.

[@somerandomashellperson7130]

@@Gamer88334 That is probably why the robbery was successful.

[@AnjaOnYouTube]

😀😁😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@deadassbird3763]

probably the guards and the civils died for the same cringe as the guy with those emojis

[@adnan-oe8wm]

@@deadassbird3763 stop he's already dead

[@arthochakravorthy6274]

Best video showing how committing minor crimes lead to a full life in crime including murder even though you don't think it'll go that far.

[@justineberlein5916]

For anyone wondering, the trains work in semi-realtime, so you can only attempt to rob one at 12 noon, 12 midnight, 6 AM, 6 PM, and 4:20 PM

[@thememeestfilmbuff]

*I wonder how you developed the touch of death.* _Maybe because you admit yourself that you’re a psychopath._

[@thesunwillneverset]

Or because the game's martial arts system is busted. Get to black belt without advancing the years as a child and one-shot anyone.

[@caioaugusto3138]

@@thesunwillneverset bro, one shotting people is the funniest thing

[@cobrasharkgaming7830]

Speedrun terraria calamity he’s a speedrunner, and speedrunners always practice before doing the game So chill

[@jittersonpalace]

Yes please

[@cobrasharkgaming7830]

@@jittersonpalace so you know too eh?

[@ninjakitten_]

No that's too cruel

[@ninjakitten_]

But if he does he should do death mode

[@jittersonpalace]

@@cobrasharkgaming7830 yes

[@hoddtoward2623]

This is 100% gonna be edited into an ad by the bitlife team

[@holynarwhale8729]

"I'm just gonna do a minor crime" Proceeds to steal $2,000 worth of money.

[@thatperson8912]

We need more BitLife

[@FriedMonkey362]

BitLife more like ShitLife

[@Noone-tx6xq]

@@FriedMonkey362What’s with all these bad “insults”? Like they aren’t even smart, or funny at all. It’s just annoying.

[@deadassbird3763]

@@Noone-tx6xq what

[@trollege9618]

@@Noone-tx6xq shut up, im talking to no one

[@hornetisvoider]

@@FriedMonkey362 isn't that your life?

[@WernerGroebli]

"I dont really care about happiness I care about money" - bruh moment

[@jruler93]

He'd fit in pretty well with a corporation, if he could just be a little more low-key and a lot more large-scale with the killing and stealing.

[@guiii0696]

money = happines

[@hamsterdam1942]

bruh

[@ShadesMF]

raf oot nekat efil pmis ehT

[@snail3721]

EazySpeezy:" I'm trying to get my life on the straight and narrow" Also EazySpeezy like a minute before hand: *killed two people*

[@monolucist]

When the first friend of your life has the name *JOseph* JOrdan and is crazy you know your life is gonna be great

[@demdem7946]

@@Hall216 well now it is

[@2vwyx642]

Aging: exists Benjamin: LeVeL uP

[@auheckna]

"Welp, kinda the perfect time to die."

[@guiii0696]

69 haha funny number

[@AstralArbourSys]

my depressed self every day-

[@eyevanilla]

@@AstralArbourSys damn i felt that :/

[@broskieclipse9927]

me when my dad

[@stephensingh4588]

@@broskieclipse9927 u good

[@florbosagbag]

The way the prison escape minigame works is the guard moves 2 squares in your direction. If there's a wall between you and him, he won't be able to move past the wall.

[@shilahboss3015]

11:49 this is the best name ive ever seen

[@thepovdweller]

I'm new and i love your content. You are so freaking entertaining man 🥺❤

[@EazySpeezy]

Thank you! Hope you enjoyed this video too!

[@oza2406]

Banana pie

[@battery-acid-drinker]

@@oza2406 Key lime Pie

[@battery-acid-drinker]

Apple Pie

[@battery-acid-drinker]

Pumpkin Pie

[@legendgames128]

6:50 the mall cop was paul blart

[@arkfr]

“I don’t really care about happiness I care about money” is the best quote ever lol

[@callmeobsequious]

"Kind of the perfect time to die" what an ending lmao

[@Xaim023]

That girl with 0/100 looks still had more raltionships than me

[@Unknown_Michi]

0:11 Their parents did some speed running of their own ;)

[@snowman6342]

EazySpeezy : I’m trying to get my life in the straight and narrow. Also EazySpeezy : Kills anyone that gets in his way.

[@ryry6319]

7:17 literally one of the easiest things I’ve ever seen. 10:08 you’re not serious😭!

[@devyn.]

Blackbelt by 10. Yep, thats gonna lead to a great outcome for someone whos first words are "i'm in the mood to make someones life miserable"

[@camdromeda2816]

“I don’t really care about happiness I care about money” Amen.

[@RickTS]

10:16 *'Megalo strike back' played for the second they attacked*

[@JerichoChavez12]

2:19 i keep thinking that dog is some sort of bird

[@randomstuff8149]

Chef: Has a tv Eazy: hE dOuEsNt EvEn HaVe AnY gOoD sTuFf

[@NarrowAlleyCat]

I feel like you and callmekevin should look into a collab with how unhinged you guys are making this game.

[@seanliu1311]

You gotta do more of this, I'm addicted rn. This game is so fun to watch and play.

[@lollipop_stink7836]

0:27 my life

[@y.sunnyy]

4:32 I don’t care about happiness *I care about money*

[@TIDoesAnything228]

Maya is literally like henry stickmin level crime, and always wanting to steal and never learning his lesson of not committing crimes

[@SheepCreep]

Nobody: EazySpeezy when he makes a friend: I can EXPLOIT THIS

[@spicyboi8008]

“wow my happiness is struggling a bit” “TIME TO DO MORE CRIMES!”

[@TanyaBregar]

iconic

[@HiThere-jv7gr]

I’d just like to say I love your content, you’ve helped me a lot, and I just wanted to say hello, I was here!

[@ZENITHTheRobloxPlayer]

what

[@Leeirey]

This was absolutely hilarious, keep it up, man really love the content.

[@manologamerss5801]

The train robbery is based on real-life time, and also godmode is really useful for this because you can make yourself athletic

[@nickve777]

EazySpeezy: ‘Im trying to get my life straight’ Also EazySpeezy: Kills prison inmates

[@captainsensational5865]

Great content as always dude also it's okay if you want to do more then just speedruns of games from cool math, still waiting for the duck life 2 video though.

[@flyingaway-ko9rg]

Now this is probally the weirdest thing I've watched.

[@Largedan125]

Why?

[@flyingaway-ko9rg]

@@Largedan125 because he's trying to become a psychopath in bit life.

[@Largedan125]

@@flyingaway-ko9rg that's just how he plays games. It's not weird it's just crazy

[@revelrem4409]

There are multiple guides online showing how to escape the """impossible""" prisons.

[@1D0LH3ARTZZ]

1:09 HI AMAND-

[@cz-kick]

"I don't really care about happiness, I care about money." Spoken like a true businessman

[@feiwu14]

My life would be complete if eazy is somehow able to speedrun mini metro

[@artic9993]

Honestly please play more of this, this is great

[@PancakeCamilo]

This is the *quality content* I needed in my life

[@gdth3pr018]

It is always a good day when Eazy uploads

[@EazySpeezy]

Hope you enjoy!

[@virologiclmp]

Straight fax dude

[@gdth3pr018]

Omgg eazy responding holyyyyyy I love you

[@Akash-kd4si]

You should do more of this I really enjoyed it

[@zombiereaperOnXbox]

1:28 btw thats not the highest belt in the game you will unlock another move when you get to the highest belt for most of them its a red belt

[@koii9635]

"I don't care about happiness, I care about money." -EazySpeezy

[@huf3y]

5:47 GTA V Speed run???

[@woofmonster1441]

Amazing. Please do more bitlife vids.

[@len5676]

"I don't really care about happiness I care about money" Seems good enough advice for me

[@Kenny-gv3zv]

This feels like an ad for the game

[@schavi3526]

It took me 7 minutes to realise this is the funny speedrun man.

[@dawnrays6161]

No lie this sounds like a GrayStillPlays title-

[@asuulaz]

oh my god. It's been a long time since I watched both channels, I was totally thinking this was a graystillplays video.

[@TheSuperDolar]

Been watching for a while and this video finally convinced me to subscribe!

[@numberenderdude3461]

I watched a vid that made me feel my heart beat. I watched this and was cured instantly. Love your videos☺️

[@TooStony]

Lmao havent seen a single comment about 0:38 "little ho elementary school"

[@Sheetz_Racer]

0:05 huh I was born in pa and feburary. What a coincidence

[@wolfsilver6304]

This was such a great video!! I loved it

[@kuhaku3805]

This guy is becoming dangerouslyfunny but with emotion and i love it

[@Jenna-hg4uh]

11:17 "oH nO tHeY oNlY gAvE uS oNe BeD wHaTeVeR sHaLl wE dO??"

[@ecospherex9298]

PLS SPEEDRUN PLAGUE INC IT WOULD BE SO COOL

[@MichaelSwartz-bf6we]

I enjoy Bitlife videos like these more than the ads for it

[@bomaster4665]

"My happiness isnt the greatest" "Time to do some crimes"

[@teomussalo]

This game is actually really fun.

[@TheKinji789]

Spent the first 2 min looking for the timer before I realized it wasn't a speedrun lmao, still a good vid tho

[@Ice-ps9yo]

I once played bitlife and killed 326 people and escaped prison 4 times It's not hard at all to become a mass murderer on bitlife, but it's the dedication and the grind that hold most people back

[@davygravy1]

The way trains work in BitLife is baste on real time ex: rob the midnight train at 12:00

[@shreyash8952]

"i think it's time i live my life on the straight and narrow... Aafter one last bank robbery" yeah thanks easyspeezy you literally made me think about my life again gotta quit being a netizen

[@camerenbob4314]

I love how when I clicked on this video a BitLife ad came up I thought it was the video lmao

[@ReniTube]

woahhh congrats on 1 mill! you gained 3k today lol

[@dcwjam]

HELL YEAH AQUARIUS LETS GOOOO!!!btw amazing vid I couldn’t stop laughing for some reason thx so much for this amazing vid keep up the good work!!

[@mutantdogcat4966]

Easy: “hahahahaha... ok let’s kill another person” Looooooooollll

[@fatcunt9483]

I just thought I'd say this: in bitlife whenever I try doing something like becoming a pop star it always ends up the same. I go to juvie because I always kill my siblings I escape my mother sends me back I escape then kill her I kill my other siblings. Then I get put in maximum security prison I escape then I give up and surrender

[@alexandre3498]

12:59 i love this moment of the video

[@jbdbibbaerman8071]

2:55 Allies rivaling you in EU4 be like

[@mrfish6636]

Ayo stop stealing my stats bitlife: 0:16