Sona Has A Problem With Conan’s Masturbating Bear Music | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

Sona recently realized that the “Late Night” crew used an iconic Armenian song to score The Masturbating Bear’s hijinks and she wants an apology.
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Deeper, unboundedly playful, and free from FCC regulations, Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend is a weekly opportunity for Conan to hang out with the people he enjoys most and perhaps find some real friendship along the way. Watch highlights of Conan, Sona Movsesian and Matt Gourley chatting with celebrities and meeting fans, along with special segments like “Review the Reviewers” and “Summer S’mores with Conan and the Chill Chums.”
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[@Miranda_Ghost]

As a classical musician, I have nothing to add to this discourse except my hysterical, grateful laughter.

[@lightw8johnny]

When I first got an Xbox almost 20 years ago, I couldnt use any version if the name Masturbating Bear. I assumed they were blocked. So I named myself after Pimpbot 5000. One day, playing Call of Duty, a teammate comes and stands next to me, in view. His name was Mstrbting Bear. He looked at me, did a little shuffle. I did it back. And we continued playing normally. I almost tear up thinking about it.

[@Picklesnot-co3k]

We're here for you, Lightweight. 😢

[@littlebumgorf]

I miss the early internet days :(

[@raoul2136]

Hahaha this is great.

[@Sashimiburger]

You've lived a horrifying life.

[@Picklesnot-co3k]

@@Sashimiburger Please, he needs our support, therapy, and a glimmer of hope for recovery.

[@Por-poI]

Matt name-droppping Lando as a popular Armenian was so quick lmao. Almost makes me think he already thought of that ages ago and just got the time to make a reference to how Armenian surnames normally sounds like hahaha

[@LeoNguyenex]

He actually first made that jokes during the earlier days of the podcast.

[@lynwood77]

Pretty sure he's brought this up before, but it might have been on one of his own pods.

[@HyperCubist]

That's an old joke. Even Billy Dee Williams himself made it when promoting Empire.

[@JITCompilation]

Conan’s made that joke a few times. It even made it into one of the Fan Corrections on the old show; it was in the Admiral Akbar one.

[@shevek2954]

For those who don't know, Armenian surnames tend to end in 'ian', like Kardassian or Movsesian.

[@mattmays9063]

UGH! Can we all just pause for a moment and truly listen to Conan's heartfelt exclamation: 'Oh my God, no, seriously, you have a beautiful culture. Don't say "we have so little"-you have SO MUCH!' This speaks to who Conan is at his core, echoing his own words during a pivotal moment in his career: 'Please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism - it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen. WE LOVE YOU, TEAM COCO!!!

[@dlxmarks]

Although I'm fairly sure Sona meant that Armenians have so little that they're generally famous for in the United States.

[@mattmays9063]

@@dlxmarks Thanks for the response. 🙂 I understand her sentiment, but Conan's reply is intended to support both Sona and the Armenian community. It's not about a deficiency in Armenian culture but rather the general lack of awareness among the broader population. (It's a complex issue, and I'm trying to capture it in just a few sentences.)

[@PopeLando]

You Armenians have Cher! You have the Kardashians! You have Doctor Kevorkian! Matt: Lando Calrissian! 😂😂😂

[@CSV119]

System of a Down!

[@joostvanrens]

All the US has is a masturbating bear

[@florete2310]

They forgot System of a Down... Just saying...

[@dlxmarks]

Sona never mentions George Deukmejian who would have been the highest profile Armenian-American of her California childhood.

[@rubberduck3066]

Georgij Gurdzjijev

[@Tonyhouse1168]

Conan, Sona, and Matt is all I need. Just a really great trio.

[@brianbrianbrianbrianbrianbrian]

This is exactly what I tell my wife and children every day.

[@googleyeyed5814]

@@brianbrianbrianbrianbrianbrian😂😂😂

[@newbigjon]

the chill chums

[@davidyoder562]

Major points to Eduardo, because El Mariachi Loco would TOTALLY work for the Masturbating Bear. I want to see a cut of it now!

[@CartmanMorisato]

As a mariachi, I completely agree.

[@florete2310]

I think it's time, that The Masturbating Bear starts travelling the world, too. I think it's high time for a new spin-off: "The Masturbating Bear Abroad"😁... (pleeeease make it happen🤞🤞🤞) [🐻✊💦]

[@betsyduane3461]

Aram Khachaturian died in Moscow on 1 May 1978. He was buried at the Komitas Pantheon in Yerevan next to other distinguished Armenians.

[@dlxmarks]

And he composed _Gayane_ in 1942 so I suppose Stalin gave it the OK (or he had WWII on his mind and didn't notice).

[@DarthD00bius]

@@dlxmarks It wasn't exactly unheard of for Stalin to turn on people he had previously claimed to be OK with. Kind of one of his trademarks. Not in Khachaturian's case though.

[@iambetterthanu]

Gesundheit.

[@teish]

Russian spy comment

[@huesos_azules]

Where was Lando Calrissian buried?

[@525Lines]

And to Conan's generation, it's the spinning plates guy music.

[@dlxmarks]

I've been waiting for literally years for Sona to mention the connection to Aram Khachaturian. Also Conan often misidentified the music as 'Flight of the Bumblebee'.

[@alexdasliebe5391]

I’ve never heard that song without spinning plates in motion

[@dudekazoo]

Oh man, I forgot about that.

[@randylopez7128]

HA HA I was just about to bring up the spinning plates on Ed Sullivan when I read this!

[@DarthD00bius]

And I'm pretty sure Letterman used it later (as a deliberate reference).

[@OnTheNerdySide]

"No, he was a real bear." Thanks for committing to the bit, Conan!

[@MichaelsExplorations]

😂😂😂

[@soundthatyoucansee123]

Absolutely stonefaced, too.

[@WuntaykTimmy1]

What'dya mean "Bit"??

[@commontater8630]

@@WuntaykTimmy1 Yeah. Can't you tell a real bear when you see one?

[@littlebumgorf]

Khachaturian wrote Sabre Dance in 1942 as the finale of his ballet which was being put on in St Petersburg during WWII. So yes. Under the thumb of Stalin.

[@rubentrevino5374]

For real, Conan is an Armenian allie. I had not heard of the genocide until Sona and Conan went to the memorial, very powerful remote they shot. I love their friendship.

[@PatrickMersinger]

When I was younger that song was, in America at least, was called “plate spinning music.” A guy had 5 sticks, and 5 plates. He balances 1 plate on 1 stick and spins the plate until he can keep it spinning and balanced. Then he furiously runs around to get the other 4 going, while often having to run back and forth to keep the previous ones going too. Early American television variety shows had a lot of this stuff.

[@MemphiStig]

Yeah, the guy at the end was right. Different meanings to different people. In a few years, people won't have heard of this at all, and it will be the music of the next social media trend for a few decades.

[@cokesquirrel]

Oh my god yeah I totally remember that Good call

[@dugferd2266]

Sabre Dance had been used for so many things long before that. Anything that needs very fast and frantic music.

[@ay9932]

I was drinking water at the word “Grave?” and nearly died

[@spidrawebster]

To Boomers, it's the music used by a spinning plate act on The Ed Sullivan Show and that's important context to why it would have been used for comic effect with the Masturbating Bear. (Interestingly, when I tried to consult old Ed Sullivan Show clips, they played "It's Just One of Those Things"...which makes me wonder how the trope of the Sabre Dance being used for plate-spinning acts got started...)

[@ThatsOnYoutube]

TBF Aram Khachaturian's "Gayane's Adagio" was used to great effect in the movie Aliens. It's been around the block a few times. And out of some guy's chest.

[@TddddK1]

I think you mean 2001: A Space Odyssey

[@ThatsOnYoutube]

@@TddddK1 Actually, I meant Aliens!

[@mediocreman2]

What's tbf? Is that throwback friday?

[@siddharthramalingam7067]

@@mediocreman2 It's "to be fair"

[@contrarian8870]

Googled: Khachaturian did fine in the USSR, he was in the Communist Party, dedicated his music to October Revolution etc. There was a brief spat in the late 1940's, he was accused of being a "formalist" (too "bourgeois"), but nothing serious. He died in 1978 (possibly heart-related) and is buried in Yerevan Armenia.

[@zaptreethunder6838]

5:39 Sona's FACE says it ALL for her reactions as soon as Conan said Judge, HAHAHa! XD 6:48 her reaction and face AGAIN when aaron speaking the truth, culture shocked

[@miniature_marie1534]

Sabre Dance has a super fun and hectic piccolo part, loved playing it in orchestra.

[@slayatnicsusie]

That song is a cartoon favorite as well and I’m sure the bear thought of it as his Sabre as he did his groovy dance so it fits

[@AlzataDiMano]

What is the name of the composer?????

[@jonathanhenderson9422]

@@AlzataDiMano Khachaturian

[@AlzataDiMano]

@@jonathanhenderson9422 Thank you

[@slayatnicsusie]

@@AlzataDiMano Aram Khachaturian

[@AlzataDiMano]

@@slayatnicsusie Thsnks

[@MoneyChanger02]

Before MB, i always associated Sabre Dance with circuses, clowns in particular. A bear pleasuring itself is a step up, IMO

[@doubles7533]

Sona: "Its a grown man in a bear costume jerkin" it" Conan: "No no... its a real bear". 😂

[@YTSharkspeare]

I learn a lot about Armenia from Sona and I always appreciate it. She is a fantastic ambassador for Armenia and I always appreciate learning about her culture!

[@brs_vldn]

Sona, you must learn more about the armenians of the Soviet era, all of the composers! For example, Mikhael Tareverdiev, Arno Babajanian. Very popular and loved even today. In the States you've had a writer William Saroyan, I enjoyed his momoirs about his childhood in California. The creator of Alvin and the Chipmunks was also armenian Ross Bodgasarrian!

[@jimhoyt5]

It's been 25 years since the Masturbating Bear was introduced. Sona didn't learn the song was composed by an Armenian until now. When I was younger the only time you heard that song was when someone was spinning plates on TV.

[@CartmanMorisato]

Conan should have turned it on Sona because it took her this long to figure it out 😂

[@jamesgabrielson473]

Yeah, she doesn't really have an argument here, even if it's a joke. She's 40 and just learning this at the same time as her toddlers.

[@dlxmarks]

I've been waiting for literally years for Sona to mention the connection to Aram Khachaturian. Also Conan often misidentified the music as 'Flight of the Bumblebee'.

[@jellojiggler1693]

@@jamesgabrielson473 ehhh. If you live in a place that doesn't necessarily value your culture(anything but white in America) you likely wouldn't know most contributions your culture has made to general society. She has an argument, but I think she was just joking.

[@jamesgabrielson473]

@jellojiggler1693 She's capable of valuing her culture without approval. She also talks about it all the time, went to Armenia summer camps (and school, or at least religious secondary education), and sends her kids to an Armenia school. I've heard of Abba and eat lutefisk. I'm not offended if I hear Abba in a commercial for something I don't like.

[@lazy_dad]

when i was a kid, growing up in ontario, canada, the sabre dance was the theme song for the NHL's buffalo sabres!

[@natey3455]

Grew up in Western NY...I call it the Sabres theme myself

[@lazy_dad]

@@natey3455 nice!

[@TimNoel2]

Many significant historic compositions are used for other purposes. A good example, Samuel Barber's Adagio for Strings, composed in 1936, was used in the movie Platoon. So if you were to play that composition for someone, most likely they would tell you it is the music from Platoon, and those people probably wouldn't even know who Samuel Barber was. That's just the way it goes with some historic musical compositions.

[@Gimergames]

I’ve listened to this podcast since it came out every day at work. I absolutely love Conan Sona and Matt. This is the first time I saw what they actually look like. I swear I really was expecting Matt to be wearing a tweed jacket with elbow patches, a big beard, horn rimmed glasses with a book about vintage train memorabilia next to him or something with like a glass of tea with faint music from the phonograph in the background as he walks. That’s the image I’ve gotten with audio only and Conan’s descriptions of Matt sometimes in the early episodes

[@PatGunn]

That piece is so famous that it can't be captured by any misuse, thankfully. I had no idea who composed it, but everyone knows it and it's used for so many things. Cool to have learned of the composer from this video.

[@baimun]

As others have mentioned, this was always "Spinning Plate" music, so thank you Sona, as I now know the actual title. Imagine how Boots Randolph would have felt knowing that his song wouldn't be known as "Yakety Sax" but instead as the "Benny Hill Theme". My friend Brian Blush of the band The Refreshments wrote a song they would play at soundcheck called "Yahoos and Triangles" and it is now known as "The King of the Hill" theme.

[@baimun]

I thought of another one... Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" will forever be embedded with the memory of Elmer Fudd singing "Kill da Waaaaaabbit!!.." 😝🤣

[@TrophyBoiii]

I am a musician. I get to know the Sabre Dance from various television/movie sources as it's used much. Haven't heard of the masturbating bear yet. My point is: I also got to know this classical piece from media consumption, learned what it was, and loved the piece on its own. Knew the composer's name, but only learned today that he was Armenian. So thank you, Sona. And thank you, media people for sticking that piece in so many comes bits.

[@Commander_Shepard.]

Streisand effect in action; Because Sona brought it up, People who didn't even know of Master Bear will check it out and affiliate the music with it. 😄

[@mestrinimaster3602]

Was going to comment the same but thought I should look to see if someone beat me to it... guess you did 😂

[@essaysandmore]

@@mestrinimaster3602And the bear was beating it to it, so everyone wins.

[@DeadeyeJim327]

Let’s not forget they have Sona. They have so much!

[@troyleegilbert790]

For me it was the Lone Ranger Theme long before it was the William Tell Overture but it introduced me to classical music.

[@Picklesnot-co3k]

Now, there's a good point 👉.

[@jimbozium]

Their interactions are always funny and I've listened to so many hours of these to the point I can usually predict where and when the joke is coming. Not this time. I was blindsided as to Sona's reason and it killed me. Just killed me. The hardest I've laughed out loud while listening to this. When Sona veers into, something like, "When me, Tak, the boys were listening to it while driving the car...etc." I lost it. This basically confirms Sona is right. Beautiful, organic comedy at its finest.

[@zoonosis3610]

Armenians also have System of a Down!! and the main character in Kurt Vonnegut's "Blue Beard" is Armenian. You also have Lake Urmia Newts. I have two. They are beautiful newts.

[@cokesquirrel]

You seriously have 2 of those newts? I've never seen them in a pet store I received 2 Chinese fire belly newts From my next door neighbors in 1983 when they were moving 1 of them died when I was in boarding school And the other 1 traveled with me all around the United States and lived until 2015

[@cokesquirrel]

Oops 2005

[@theshakyproject2971]

The bear advocates for self-love and self-partnering! He's an international treasure! :)

[@spiercephotography]

I'm laughing so hard, Sona you walked right into that one girl 😂

[@Picklesnot-co3k]

She's really not the brightest.

[@rubywooed3066]

That bear is a legend. I'm Gen X, so the first time I heard that music was in a cartoon. I wanna say looney tunes? Anyway, that skit is iconic. The music is perfect

[@ericbeback7600]

🦬 ⚔️ Buffalo Sabres fan here: They use this music for intros and outros during games going to commercial break BUT I never knew the title of this music. I just thought it was a fun whimsical song the team chose and I'm now just learning why LOL 😂. Thanks Conan! 🟠

[@DV8340]

“That’s what I use to hum when I was a teen” 🤣🤣🤣

[@gilbertodepiento8521]

Back to Back Conan!!!! Bring it allll

[@Freeden]

Sona bringing the energy of years of offense like she suddenly recalled a war flashback.

[@betsyduane3461]

The bear also once masterbated during "Deck the Halls", 'Jingle Bells" and "The Nutcracker Suite".

[@HowDoYouPronounceGIF]

Heh, Nutcracker

[@Altoclefkitty]

Heeheeheehee

[@Marcus_C51]

@@HowDoYouPronounceGIF Yes, crackin' those nuts...and the Jingle Balls.

[@RespectedProfessional]

“I MARRIED YOU” “what” “No.. that’s not true.” “…wait” That was fantastic 👏🏼

[@papasy3748]

to be fair sometimes i think i married sona as well, then i wake up 😅

[@gondiken]

Once you realize that Saber Dance was made in 1942 and Sona thought it was in the 60s, this whole bit becomes a lot funnier.

[@mediocreman2]

The hilarious thing is that Sona didn't even know until her husband told her. 😅

[@robwoodring9437]

So this faux-argument comedy bit made me learn something important! I always told people that System of a Down's music was at times "circus metal with punk rock's brevity." (SOAD's members are all Armenian btw) What i just realized is that (among others) classic Armenian composers made up what I thought to be the "circus" aesthetic in music. So that "circus metal" was in reality just Armenians making metal music that expressed their own national aesthetic. Team Coco is an educational channel confirmed.

[@drek7361]

man Matt cracks me up every time and real talk - another great Armenian contribution is the Duduk (flute). seriously, it's like a direct conduit to the soul

[@brokenglassshimmerlikestar3407]

The duduk has been used in Dune soundtrack now I think

[@PatrickPrejusa]

that song has been used in comedy bits long brfore CONAN EXISTED.

[@CreamyItalian]

"So bad I couldn't sit down". WHAT?!? So funny!

[@colinhughes1448]

Sona didn’t even know who wrote the song until three days ago 😂

[@rgarimella]

Kudos to Bley for saying that!

[@gllmusic]

I didn't know that Aram Khachaturian was Armenian. The Saber Dance was well known for being used by Ringling Brothers Circus as well (which you could argue was unethically exploiting animals for entertainment), along with other entertainment acts. You can't blame Conan for using a very well known piece of music written 80 years ago for such a funny bit.

[@freefree5453]

First off all- I am a classical musician & I love Conan: I saw “Sabre dance” and I clicked… Major mistake😂 Secondly- if it makes you feel better Sona: I love Khatchaturian’s Violin Concerto when I think of his pieces He also had a great piece called “Armenian Dances” which is a staple

[@nem0763]

Gotta chime in, also Tigran Hamasyan is one of the most groundbreaking and celebrated jazz artists working today! Armenians have had a huge artistic impact on the world 🔥🔥🔥

[@barryross8382]

I was watching Armenian news the other day and that language is crazy, There seems to be no pause between words or even whole sentences. It just seems like a stream of weird vowel and consonants jammed together.

[@johnnyjolijt2]

The "sabre" "dance". So it is a euphemism. Ah, I get it!

[@pixycamille]

Sona at 0:57 😂 never fails to crack me up and I watched this video more than 10 times.

[@nylohro4091]

Its like the oriental riff. Or listen to entrance of the gladiators, that was supposed to be a military march but we all know it as circus music lol

[@teejeya]

5:07 For a split second, Conan reminded me of a certain Bad Friend

[@oldandnewpieces]

Fun fact: same age! (Not really)

[@sheevpalps66]

The first time I heard the song was in that one Simpsons episode where it plays when Bart is biting onto a spinning fan.

[@thelittlestrummerboy]

Sona's face at 6:22 kills me

[@malcolm6107]

This made me so happy😂😂😂😂

[@prob6820]

I take it that Sona didn't go to an Armenian school or know enough Armenian history as she is only now learning about the composer and his music.

[@Arm8014]

She actually did. Small Armenian school in Montebello, California

[@madnessontheisland]

In fairness, that song has been the theme for a lot of silly gags for decades in Hollywood. I remember it was featured in Pee Wee's Big Adventure specifically.

[@xxlovehaterxx]

When I was a kid, this song was in a carpet commercial with a baby chasing a dog. That commercial is etched into my memory forever along with the song. The commercial with the songa are also in Hocus Pocus when they're at the devil's house.

[@debbier9270]

NHL Buffalo Sabres..... Sabre Dance is their theme.... 🎤 🫳

[@bobc.6908]

Sona, that song was also used by Mimi Zurbimi in her act.

[@waveshock]

Sabre dance may be Khachaturian most popular work, but the adagio of Spartacus and Phrygia it's also a very well known piece and, frankly, more grandiose (and not related to masturbating plantigrades)

[@waveshock]

Btw, both are used to great effect in Coen brother's "The hudsucker proxy"

[@williamwilson5127]

NHL team The Buffalo Sabres used to play the Sabre Dance at games for decades. There are loads of loud talking Buffalotonians that only know the Sabre Dance as hockey music.

[@LulisaLu89]

Here to say this! As soon as I heard them say the title of the song I knew it from the buffalo sabres immediately. Also, we are Buffalonians, not "buffalotonians"

[@williamwilson5127]

@@LulisaLu89 I couldn't remember the correct term, I apologize, but I do remember this old grammar trick that would come up at school: "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo".

[@bobknull7502]

It's older than that Sona. I am 70. I first heard that music in cartoons on TV. It is also used to accompany circus acts and magicians.

[@4partmedia]

Perfect example of laughing at others until it hits close to home... 🤦‍♂️

[@densprangdedrangen]

Interestingly, Aram Chatjaturjan (according to wikipedia) was born in Tbilisi, Georgia! You know who else was born in Georgia? STALIN! It has become full circle!

[@redfury91]

from now on im going to refer to jerkin it as sabre dancing and its all thanks to conan

[@karagravis]

Title does a good job at selling the video, that's for sure.

[@jpruhu7662]

Because of the cut off in the front post, I thought Sona had a problem with Conan's moustache... So surprised! I was like: "he would look ridiculous in a moustache! Set him straight!!" and now, Same.

[@f.stewie6429]

Well...If you rearrange the word name Sabre, you get Bears🤷🏿‍♀️ Just saying!

[@Norvo82]

Holy Hannah... You're right!

[@Picklesnot-co3k]

We need folks like you in DC. Hear there's an election coming up. Wanna throw your hat into the ring?

[@f.stewie6429]

​@@Picklesnot-co3k I'm on my way😂

[@TheASSedoTV]

Come on, Sona! You have little? On top of what Conan and Matt mentioned you also have Cher and Charles Aznavour! And these are two great artists that I remember from the top of my head! Armenians are well known throughout the world!

[@intomnia3313]

Dave Edmunds rendition on guitar is enthralling

[@missoctober8859]

That song makes me think of Pee Wee's Big Adventure.

[@shak4632]

Conans not the first one to use that song in a silly, goofy or ridiculous context. All my life I've heard that song in comedic context. In fact im kind of mind blown that this song is so respected lmao

[@justcallmedevil267]

"you heard he said he is happy about seeing us right?" Matt knew the risks XD

[@LaidbakZak]

I do the saber dance every day

[@brandonwei2430]

Nearly drove my car into traffic when Conan muttered, "Grave?"

[@christophermerlot3366]

1) Someone should tell Conan that Stalin wasn't alive in the 1960s. 2) I propose that the bear's new theme song be The Wild Rover.

[@e32b61]

When I read the title of the video I knew exactly where she was going with it. “Masturbating Bear? You mean Khacha-oh. Come now, that just being prickly.” Quite frankly, it’s the best use of Sabre Dance imaginable. In my home country, once someone starts appearing on lists of “Great” hometown heroes, you know they just become the target of satires.

[@MoMatcha69]

Im half Armenian and its not that bad. Its pretty honorable

[@rocketrockinit]

That title lol

[@bobxyzp]

I’m sorry Sona, you have to take the L on this one, you were way outta line

[@domesticcamel]

For some reason this reminds me of Jimmi Simpson from Always Sunny and Lyle The Intern on Letterman. You should have him on. Think it would be beyond hilarious.

[@buckmudd8006]

When you write a song that hilarious and innovative for its time? You must let it go, because it's *going* to end up in a comedy bit.

[@CurlyAndCurvy]

Sona, if it makes you feel better, there is a large community of classically-trained musicians who do not associate Sabre Dance with Conan's bit (that includes me). 💖🎻🎵

[@SniffyPoo]

Knew the theme was well-known music but I didnt know the composer until now

[@StupidSystemus]

This is how I feel about Hervé Roy - Lover's Theme...

[@zzzzzz3708]

This reminds me of the Fred armisan circus music joke. A KZbin short.

[@BenVarkentine]

Sona should look up the record the Andrews Sisters made of The Sabre Dance in the late 1940s, I think she'll feel better about what Conan made of it. The Andrews Sisters version features a zither. Do you hear me? A ZITHER.

[@carriondeath21]

ive heard this song in cartoons & shows usually depicting circus performers , long before the masturbating bear

[@KONAmustang50]

'Flight of the Bumblebee' could have worked too. Or how about 'Brand New Key' by Melanie?