Spineless Husband Told My Infertility Secret to His Family, Allowed Them to Berate Me, and....

Spineless Husband Told My Infertility Secret to His Family, Allowed Them to Berate Me, and Now Wants Custody of Our Donor-conceived Daughter.
#redditrelationship #redditupdate
Timestamp-
0:00 - Story 1
9:05 - Story 2

[@scpfoundation8376]

A spineless mommy’s boy will always be a horrible husband and father is what this video taught me……

[@asnalem4391]

Not only this video the amount of stories where guys let their mom terrorize their partner is insane tbh

[@Krofna1000]

I can understand his perspective. I have a daughter and am single father, so Im not rushing in his defence, just read this. He wanted his wife probably to be happy so he agreed on donor stuff. I could never connect with a child in that manner. It would always be in the back of my head that it isnt mine. So one small infraction where his petty emotions came out, because he was probably bothered for a while is not a reason enough to berate a man so heavily

[@supergonzales8257]

Not only this video, but many stories on reddit (and irl globally) shows that people who did not emancipate emotionally from their parents tend to be toxic to their family as they let their parents take advantage from everyone and have the strings.

[@hitsugatatsuro9978]

While not horrible, my father is not a good husband. He's a bare minimum husband (he sees that as enough). The youngest of a rich family and a momma's boy. He prefers to be on pleasant terms with everyone (even if he has to force it of my family) and when he gets stressed he is quick to anger and blame anyone but himself more often than not. Tbf to him, my mother is an impossible woman who nags and always seems genuinely confused as to why no one wants to listen when she nags or talks at them. She grew up on the opposite spectrum, eldest of a literally dirt poor family. It's a very lopsided and unhealthy dynamic. I may dislike my Karen mom, but I also love her and believes she deserves better than my dad. Later in life, I even learned he tried to cheat on her as he fell for his friend's ex-wife. Luckily, that woman never reciprocated. My mom was devastated to find out when she read his journal. I was an accident and apparently he only married my mom cuz he "didn't wanna be seen as a chauvinistic pig." My mom is an impressive lion of a woman who has fought tooth and nail for everything in her life and while I admire her, it is hard to bare myself to her when she prefers to talk rather than listen. Still, I sometimes wonder what she could have had if she had not had me instead. Maybe it would have been better if she never had me. TLDR: An overshare. Don't read if you don't want to.

[@ayceinquisitor190]

​@@Krofna1000 that opinion is both irresponsible and petty. Agreed to have a WHOLE CHILD to "keep his wife happy"??? That is NOT a valid reason to become a parent. Because the method isnt pure bloodline, you cant connect to a human you CHOSE TO HAVE bc it's not your DNA?? Blood is not the obsessive hill to die on when it comes to raising a human person. The most important aspect of DNA in parenthood is medical history, not yee noble bloodline.

[@Permenantlyexhaustedghost115]

He sure didn’t act like the “man of the house” when he allowed his mother to call his wife and baby horrible names. Instant divorce. As for the second story the dad is a pure narcissist. The mom may have been the safer parent but doesn’t change the fact she enabled him. He’ll never change and he knew what he was doing. People like him never do. Best she can do is focus on her healing and build her own life.

[@morganes659]

People pushing the first OP to file for child support don’t understand how this will mess up their lives staying tied to such a toxic family. Money isn’t everything in life and she is more than capable to provide for them both as she stated.

[@Maninawig]

Story 1, to pinebox and Angelic Vixen: In this case, I would say don't go for child support. Cause with it comes perental rights and court ordered visits where MIL can parade her as the Bastard of Basketville. But no pay, no rights

[@DarkEinherjar]

Parents who only acknowledge your failures and call your achievements "the bare minimum" are the worst. As a true narcissist, he doesn't miss his daughter, he really just misses his emotional punching bag.

[@renadu30]

Yup. I grew in a "family" like that, I can vouch for that... Whenever I had close to bad grades, they'd call me a failure, even when I pointed out that all the other kids had bad grades on that one exam too, they'd be all "THIS IS NOT A MATTER OF COMPARISON !". However, when I came back all proud with amazing grades (sometimes even the best results of the exam), they'd only say "Okay, good. How did the other kids do ?"... Like... How could they say this wasn't about comparison, only to then compare on their own accord ? Honestly, I didn't learn how to parent, but how NOT to parent from being around them XD.

[@DarkEinherjar]

@@renadu30 My parents used to get so upset if I scored anything lower than a B, I began to hide my school reports from them when I was a kid...

[@renadu30]

They wouldn't let me hide anything from them when I was kid... Hell, even when I was a teenager or a young adult; they were very controlling. Oh, at least I could hide the fact that yes, I was a living being with emotions, because they always hated it whenever I showed anything else than a smile or a neutral expression. It's both reassuring yet saddening to see how many people had to live with such "parents", I hope everything is going well for you nowadays !@@DarkEinherjar

[@NagoBust]

​@@DarkEinherjarthink that's a skill issue on your part

[@wanderlust3292]

Story 1: you have plenty of prove that you didn’t cheat (all the medical bills of the fertility clinic etc). However, he failed as a husband , father and human being. Get rid of him asap.

[@butmermaids7443]

"head of the family" the head is nothing without the body. not only that, but he's made it clear that his mother is the true head

[@Olivia-yx9dh]

It’s very scary that you never know who you marry until you go both go through very specific situations. All is well UNTIL we find out I have a low “count” after waiting until marriage to have children. All is well until you refuse to give me a portion of your paycheck now that we are legally joined. How would you know otherwise?

[@ayceinquisitor190]

Can take extra precaution by dating longer before marriage, living together before marriage, staying on top of personal finances and keeping an eye on shared finances. Attending counseling together pre-marriage. There are things that can be done to drag out before legal commitments and increase the chances of catching signs. Nothing is guaranteed, but if someone has a good sense of self and strong boundaries, the obvious ones will weed themselves out.

[@gotenblack2542]

these tiles are really sounding like they belong on bad story sites

[@Inkytoon677]

The two dads in the video had something similar in common!! BEING AWFUL MEN TO THEIR DAUGHTERS!!

[@jessicadriver1636]

Why does OP's ex husband and the inlaws even want full custody of a baby that they've made very clear they despise all because the baby's not the husband's by blood, I hope OP wins custody of her daughter, because that family more than few screws loose and I can't imagine what messed up things their going to put that poor girl if the father wins.

[@BrightElk]

This story actually changed the way I see IVF and I will never recommend it ever again when it’s the man who is infertile. Even if both parents want the child initially the second the marriage falls apart the father will see the child as not biologically his and disconnect. The mother puts the work into carrying the child so maybe she is safe or maybe she is not idk but I am now horrifically skeptical.

[@gwenrichard7507]

(Story 1) Go for a low amount of child support at least. It does 3 things. One, it sends the message that this WAS his idea and even the courts recognize it. Two, if he doesn't pay or gets you fired, you can increase this amount. Three, if he moves on and tries to get another girl knocked up its more likely she will rethink it when she sees his bitterness about something so small. (Story 2) Go public to all his friends and family, tell them to talk to your mom about this. If your mom truly has changed, she will confirm what you say. And if she does and he still wants to get in contact, meet him in the parking lot of your therapists office before a visit with lunch. Don't tell him where he is and when its time tell him your going to talk to your therapist. Just talk for 30 minutes and say you'll continue this conversation after your visit. If he comes, great. If he waits, good. If he leaves, then he left, not you.

[@jordanwardle11]

1. That still gives him and the mil access to the child and harm her through a proxy 2. No one will believe her because they have always seen him as the perfect father and people don't like reality. Plus, therapy with an abuser is the worst thing you can do. As for the mum, if she isn't kicking the father out when op comes, then she isn't going to back her up especially since she isn't divorcing him

[@Null-iu7db]

He only misses her cause he has no one else to verably abuse.

[@FlipTheBard]

When he can't dish out unto others he can only hold on to his own misery and he feels bad.And he doesn't want to feel bad, much less with himself. Yeah, he wants a punching bag to take his abuse so he can feel like he same a minimal amount of power(whne he has none) and that someone else has a more miserable life than he does.

[@wanderlust3292]

Story 2: such a person should never have become a parent in the first place. He’s a pos “father”

[@ibnkhaldoun4319]

i identify with story 2 so much. my father was similar in ways & doesn't own up to the damage he caused.

[@NotAnIlluminatiSpy]

"I've come out as bi. Yay. D" cracked me up more than it should have.

[@sarahaustin5462]

Pretty sure thoes videos will cement custody for her

[@FlamesAndShadows]

I feel like in situations like in the first story, it could be smart to make all 3 sign a contract. With at least 1 copy somewhere husband could never reach to destroy. He don't get to pick the least expensive option and then let everyone abuse and spread rumors how his wife is a whore, and further choose to gaslight and antagonize her into learning to live with it

[@eaglewarrior7979]

Okay can someone explain how infertility is shameful it’s not your fault and it’s not like you chose to be infertile.

[@flainfan]

Some people just have ridiculous beliefs.

[@thousandyardgavri2785]

He was raised by that mother so I would expect him to be ashamed

[@shadowedpokefan331]

Infertility is never shameful but religion and common society think it is and the in laws seem to be religious since they don't believe in adoption

[@Black-Rose12]

S1: Atleast OOP will have the disturbing videos as prof to get full-custody or primary custody and child support seeing the husband doesn't even want the daughters

[@kennycai8695]

Story 1: My gosh, that level of betrayal by OP's ex-husband. I agree with the commenter that OP was a fool to not sue for child maintenance. He tried to hurt you by destroying your valuables, so I feel it's only right he face the consequences of his actions, even if he was influenced into it by the ex-MIL. The only way to make such people feel the sting is hit them where it hurts, and for most people, it's their finances. Not to mention the reason he betrayed OP and threw her under the bus was only cause of pride; he did not want to admit he was infertile, so he shifted blame to OP like the coward that he is, knowing very well his family's reaction. OP, just see the child maintenance fee as your ex paying you a fine, since that level of betrayal, I find it very hard to condone. Not taking more action beyond a divorce is equating to letting him walk away scot-free for such a betrayal. Normally, I am in favor of forgiveness, but in this case, no. Since it was cause of pride that made him betray you, nothing hurts it more than feeling powerless against the law, so do it.

[@yol_n]

"Spineless" lol

[@albertgongora6944]

You know what I don't get about the original poster situation why the hell did she marry a man who is a spineless coward willing to let his whole entire family gang up on her in the first place like what do you find so attractive about that dumpster fire of a situation like is it just like some people have this mindset that they can change that person to become better just for it to go to hell and then finally realize this is why they need to leave when I'm like dude that should have been the first few cues for you to leave a long time ago the very moment you saw that you were getting stepped all over not just by your in-laws but literally your husband himself like I can't believe that this crap happens with people like I don't understand why they blind themselves with somebody so terrible

[@shawnbrooks5293]

Maybe I'm missing something, but why is the MIL so mad about the baby? Doesn't make sense to me.

[@NerdInTheLibrary]

Second story reminds me of my family dynamic

[@letsgame9740]

5:46 Save this, it will show he is a Bad dad

[@gumballwatterson132]

Great Video!

[@shinobiuzui3490]

I heard this story yesterday? I couldve sworn it was on this page too but im scrolling back and I cant find it. Is this a repost or am i tripping?

[@Extremelybraindeadhumanbeing]

You found it on another channel

[@ephemeral2552]

2nd story: she came out as bisexual while being married???

[@user-ve4hy3dg5j]

This poster has no concept of money. Do you know how much “hundreds of thousands of dollars of electronics, furniture, and paintings” really is? Furthermore she stated that people have “lost hundreds of thousands of dollars on IVF”. The IVF costs like $10,000. So if you have tried IVF 10 times and failed, then you could have lost $100,000 on IVF. These massive exaggerations make me feel like something is wrong with the poster.

[@BrightElk]

If became hundreds of thousands for my sister when you take into account all the medical complications and miscarriages and ER visits.

[@isrln]

So the fil was "asked to leave" yet she "hung up on him"? Way to go, fake ass story

[@jordanwardle11]

Parents called op. Fil and op spoke on parents phone

[@isrln]

@@jordanwardle11 is that why her dad Said fil had "outstayed his welcome"?

[@isrln]

@jordanwardle11 "fil showed up on my parents' doorstep"

[@sevonsk1024]

Me when i don't listen

[@jordanwardle11]

@@isrln fil comes to parents house. parents call op, op and fil talk. op hangs up on fil. parents tell fil to leave.

[@AlyaGR]

HELLOOOOO❤

[@polarbear715]

telltales love ur stories and i was an og but in ur banner what happened to "telling one story at a time" or something along those lines and now its "telling the best stories". Like i know its not that deep and whatever but other was better imo. Anyways great job on the videos!