Autism & Decision Making

[@StephanieBethany]

**special thank you to my other Spazz tier patron, Philip Noah, as well!! I already had some videos completed and uploaded and couldnt add him in so I wanted to recognize him here! 💛**

[@FirstmaninRome]

Not trusting NT thinking because it was not properly researched, considered, and revisited. Totally. Other people's political opinions hold almost no wait for me when I find that they are a socially dominant personality who's views are part of there social persona, and on top of that they've never Heard of NPR, and clearly never read a non fiction book, and don't log hours and hours of youtube news a day, yeah, I totally agree I dismiss NT's sometimes like that. I love the way you put that. You are awesome Stephanie!

[@johniversen1539]

I love that part of the videos. It's like my favourite part of the news when I was a kid when he said "I'm Bob Layton" in his low tone voice.

[@MarvelMTs]

As a member of the autism spectrum myself, my troubles with decision making is when there is no “right v wrong”, no “greater common sense”, or no “better” option, basically when both options are equal

[@MarvelMTs]

Also, when I make a decision, I don’t like being questioned, i.e: “You want that?” “Yes.” “You sure?” “Yes.” “Positive?” “…..No.”

[@criticalmaz1609]

Me: decided to move from NZ to Perth Australia on a whim. Also me: utterly stumped on what I'm going to eat tonight.

[@crystalokeefe197]

I like the security of the higher degree of certainty that comes with accuracy.

[@leogrrrl5876]

So much this!!!

[@ClassPresidentAlejandro1999]

This is a perfect time like I love it it’s not too long and it’s not too short so keep up the good work

[@lunawolfheart336]

For me I just overthink and overanalyzing every decision I make. But when I do make a desision I stick to it because I've already looked at every option and researched it.

[@blueblousedesigns]

When I'm indecisive about what I'd like to eat, I use a list of "Go-To" foods. This really helps me when I grab food at my favorite Chinese takeout spots. When I go to a new place, I usually order sweet and sour chicken or pork, because I always know that it'll taste great no matter what.

[@Serenity99]

I feel like this video directed at me lol. I've really struggled with decisions lately, even just deciding what product to buy (I always do extensive research before small or big purchases). I also cannot imagine my future life clearly at all. It stresses me out so much to think about I usually get upset and start crying when my boyfriend asks me where I see my self in five years... I'm about to graduate university this December and I have no idea what I'm doing afterwards.. I wish I hadn't let my parents push me to go to uni right after high school because I had and still have no idea what I want to do with my life. Thank you for making this video Stephannie, it clearly explains my problems with decision making!

[@elibitrick]

Well that explains more than I expected

[@KlappeOmDeOren]

Same.

[@SSJKamui]

There was once a discussion between a russian philosopher and a famous japanese psychiartrist, where it was theorized that in general, all introverted people would have problems with decision making. According to that discussion, extraversion was based on an attitude of "I am willing to make decisions without much thought, because if I make a mistake, I can correct it", while introverted people would think that "its better to think a lot over the problem to avoid making mistakes". And according to that discussion, introverted societies would be more structured, rule based (for example ancient prussia or japan), and more reliant on the military, while extroverted societies would be more open to new experienced, less rule based and more reliant on the merchant castes than the military. (For example Netherlands or Great Britain or Spain)

[@pooheadlou]

Don't know if I would agree with that hypothesis. I can/could think of many variants that would invert these ideas on its head.

[@Tim_G_Bennett]

I have lots of trouble with working out what to eat. I think a big reason is as well as deciding what to eat it's also a future decision, I need to decide what I'm going to want to eat days in advance and go shopping for what I need, then there's the decisions that comes with shopping, so it's really lots of decisions not just one, like what time to go to bed for example.

[@JoULove]

I used have a lot of decision anxiety but at some point I made the "meta" decision of working out some heuristics, basically deciding that "good enough" is better than expending a whole lot of energy trying to find the best solution and then end up not being able to choose anyway. It does irk me some times and might mean I'm not always consistent (or that I spend more money than I need to).

[@n.c.6211]

To decide what to eat I had created a menu and a list for every supermarket 😂 I have Asperger's Syndrome. I struggle with decision-making so much I need to create systems

[@RaunienTheFirst]

The food thing for isn't related to any issues surrounding food itself, but the opposite. Food is food. Unless I'm craving something in particular, I don't particularly care. "What do you want to eat?" Food. "Yes, but what food?" I dunno, just, food, you know what I don't like, just literally anything, you decide.

[@thecraftycrayfish7539]

I would agree that the reason we have trouble making decisions is often simply because when doing so we tend to think of all the options and outcomes and we need a moment to weigh them against each other and decide which is best. In a sense, we overthink things. However, because of this trait I feel that the decisions that we do end up making are often more sound and well-informed than those made by neurotypicals.

[@Mrfurball25]

I don’t have a hard time deciding what to eat because I usually eat the same thing anyway lol! It is hard to make decisions about other things

[@JAMESGREGORYKULP1985]

With mei I hate being rushed to make decisions. I need plenty of time for decision making. Like if my family takes me out to eat at restaurant they want to make a quick decision. But there are so many choices to make with food. There are to many choices to pick from. It can be overwhelming. If I am rush to make a quick decision I am likely to have a meltdown Because I feel mentally overloaded.

[@n.c.6211]

Exactly!!! I can't picture myself in the future. It seems so unreal. For instance I try to motivate myself by thinking that if I do A I will achieve B, but then I start doubting B and think it's all an illusion and get depressed and think that I am not capable of doing A so why should I even think of B....Do you have advice for this? 🙏🙏🙏 Thank you!!

[@ClassPresidentAlejandro1999]

Yeah because decision-making can be hard for me when it’s hard for me to always make really great decisions and sometimes I need to practice to make those decisions

[@resourceress7]

Relate so much to this and many commenters. I'm wired to function on a very detail oriented level and really need to collect and consider and compare all the right details before making a final decision. Especially one that involves spending money or using up (potentially irrevocably wasting) other resources.

[@michellewilkes5801]

I never thought of this until you video here but my 54 years on this planet so far lol and undiagnosed I have to say to myself and out loud there's absolutely no question I'm on the spectrum definitely and aspie!... But I never thought about this decision making however in my entire life I have always avoided decisions almost at all cost for some others to make the decision for me or for the decision to be made out of not being made like I would wait and wait and wait until there was no other alternative and that would be the decision now this year I'll be 55 and I think I've learned to make some decisions as I live alone for the last 7 years and you can't just go like that forever I would put it off on anybody I could but I'm also very isolated in fact it's been 6 months since I've been more than 4 miles from my house maybe longer and this is not due to Corona... Just a thought thanks for your videos I really enjoy them I watch the fall

[@melissad8824]

Since learning about this issue and realizing everyone in my family struggles with it, I've found that giving family members a heads up about an upcoming decision request helps a lot. For instance, if I'm going to be making a meal soon, I give them a 10 minute warning to figure out what they want me to make. Then instead of standing there staring at them waiting for their decision, I do something else to take the pressure off them so they can focus. It really really helps! For eating out, this isn't a problem because we each tend to order the same things at any fast food place we go to (so no real decision needed). For grocery shopping, I thought shopping online would give us all a lower pressure, lower input way of shopping. Nope. It turns out that a lot of what we buy is decided as we physically walk around shopping and see something we want. So while we spend a lot less shopping online, we all also forget a LOT of items we actually needed. :/

[@chad3232132]

Hah, this is so me. I didn't know I had Asperger's until after college, but during my undergrad college days I switched majors at least a half dozen times. Not that I did poorly, but rather because I couldn't make up my mind for years. I finally finished by B.S. Finance with about 160 credits (40+ more than needed). All in all, I think the indecisiveness was more a benefit. It allowed me to learn more about a wide variety of topics - computer science, history, etc. I wouldn't have otherwise gone deep into. Looking back, I think I was also trying to prolong my graduation a bit, afraid of the major life change going out into the post-college job market. That ended up being a huge adjustment.

[@brizagella3600]

I struggle with decision-making a lot at university. When I had to decide what to do for my first term, I couldn't decide between 3 options that I wanted to do. So I ultimately went for something that I didn't want to do but that I thought my family wanted, because making an honest choice with all the overanalyzing and social pressures was too overwhelming. I also keep putting off making decisions about future terms because it simply is too overwhelming. Looking back, it would have been better to take a year off before my first term, but a year off would also have been difficult because it would involve even more decisions and an irregular routine.

[@Xankill3r]

I just realised how lucky I am to be living in India where so many college decisions are automatically made for you based on your "major" (we call it stream). Because I took Computer Science (big surprise?) most of my subjects were already chosen for me. I only had to make choices a total of 8 times across 4 years for my electives. Which was sort of hard because I wanted to do everything -.-

[@robertjohnburton9775]

Executive planning is lousy & it stays all through an Aspie's life. Good mentoring/guidance is needed. I need every appointment written down. As well, I am too easily 'directed' by others, so many awful blunders! I have had no life plan. We keep making the same mistakes because we do not remember the past. I did university well because I followed the outline; I did life badly because there was no structure.

[@vanessalvwilliams]

Could you do a video on Autism and Life Changes/General Changes? And the difficulty in? As well as tips to cope with change. Personally, I struggle greatly with change, even small changes. Especially when it happens suddenly, or quicker than the original plan. Thank you for any consideration!!

[@KlappeOmDeOren]

Second half of video is very recognisable for me. Ouch. Thanks again for the great info!

[@viennadesou6546]

This is one of the upsides of being bipolar. The decision making stagnation is often interrupted by impulsive mania, where my life totally changes during the time that I have the gusto to follow it, but the let down and readjustment after is quite a lot to deal with.

[@SSJKamui]

On topic of "unemotional descision making": You can see this especially among right wing autistic people. At first, one quote which is especially frequently shared among autistics in right wing groups is ben shapiros "facts do not care about your feelings". And there is a clear preference for systems with clear "if you do A you get B and if you do not do C you get D" rules. For example, most of the supporters of capitalism in these groups frame capitalism as such a clearly structured system. ( In past, I shared this way of thought and that was my way of explaining why I thought capitalism to be a "just" system. I always even said that capitalism was more just than other things like for example Dating, because there, no such clear rules exist. Ofcourse, Nowadays, I see that I overlooked many injustices within capitalism.) Systems like Traditionalism are also pretty clearly structured. And ofcourse, many autistic right wingers share disturbing symphaties towards technocracy. (Rule by Engineers and Scientists.) And then there are some groups like the dark enlightenment who basically combine elements of traditionalism, capitalism and technocracy. And these movements also have a high amount of autists among their ranks. On the other hands, many right wing autists seem to dislike progressive left concepts because they build exceptions into rules and therefore dilute the clarity of the rules of the system. (For example womens and disability quotas and other similar things are seen as a kind of "institutionalised rule bending".)

[@ClassPresidentAlejandro1999]

Love the perfect time of video like I love how perfect it is keep up the good work

[@JoyBean]

What a great topic. I can see how it could be difficult to making decisions and I find with my fellow it is hard for him to figure out certain decisions like if I am wanting to make a dinner and am having trouble then he won’t have any suggestions. When we were going out with his Dad before March my fellow would ask what we were going out to do and I realized he could not make a decision where we would go. I know for me as I look back at it I wished I had waited a year to go to college. I wish that was something I would have decided but, at that time I felt it was something I was supposed to do.

[@conservativeperspective366]

From what I’ve read people on the spectrum are often better at decision making when it comes to making good decisions

[@josephmartin1540]

This video has been a comfort!

[@idea1407]

Maybe this is why I usually say no as my first answer to questions. Later I may change my decision to yes.

[@stgodd]

If i don't make any choices things will stay the same forever and hopefully time will stop and i wont get old.

[@anabelle1508]

Great video, thank you Stephanie.

[@reylime2991]

I can’t even choose a dish in a restaurant I end up ordering the exact same thing every time. I think autistic people don’t like spontaneity, we really do consider all our outcomes.

[@leogrrrl5876]

I use Ni & Ti in MBTI so if I'm expected to make a decision without using foresight or accuracy it can really make me anxious. & if it's also a decision that impacts others but I can't survey them (Fe)-- 😳😰😩 Really learned this about myself the hard way in a job where a different approach was expected.

[@brittanysauceda6315]

Decisions are so difficult especially right now because I'm getting ready for my wedding in December. I really hate when I think I'm firm in a decision I've already made and my neurotypical mom bribes me to change my decision not to invite one of her "friends".

[@kyleandrewsmasterson3359]

May I ask exactly what kind of clothing fabric you use in your clothes etc. ? Because I have a (HSP) Where I simply cannot wear ah just any. Type of clothing material because of highly sensitive people who have clothing sensory processing!

[@Atticus_Moore]

Uncertainty is super stressful and anxiety giving

[@MrBokkodo]

i recently found out i am autistic, and this was insightful and very helpful.

[@Jaichbinhier]

I was thinking of leaving a comment about indecisiveness... It's just so hard to pick what to write about though. 😂 I will say that your depiction of neurotypical college stress Was a little bit misleading, just because your experience was so... Atypical, as you went to college years after high school. "No big deal" college scheduling is much more the exception than the rule. Sometimes parents or pals will help adjusting to the new environment, But most "no big deal" attitudes struggle with academic excellence. There's a big life adjustment to college, with or without autism, so Note that while some have it all together, most make it up as they go. There are lots of bumps and hiccups and cringe along the way. You just have to do your best and trust it will all turn out okay. 🙂

[@m-pc5334]

This is why I HATE my current pe class. We don’t have any classes, or meetings, or anything other than the occasional email, and I’m supposed to follow a training plan(actually, no. This is too stupidly vague to be called a plan. It’s a disgrace to the word, because it has no scheduling) I had to make with no guidance, and I never know when to do what. I keep freaking out when I remember how I’m not doing the required 1h15 a week, but I never manage to fully act on it.

[@amyhouston5817]

I thought this was just me 😅

[@garyfrancis5015]

Yes saying things with logic and facts. So the old aspergers me before I studied theory of mind. If a 93 year old in someone family died. I would think well that is a old age why is everyone upset. It's not a shock when that is way over the life expectancy is 82 in the UK and America to. But now I look at empathy side. 1st it sad on 93 year old because it is the end I believe. If you believe then that's good. You either believe in religion or you athiest. There no inbetween with religion. Also it is the sadness of the family all the memorise of a long life. At lot of life. Now gone forever never going to see them again. So the old me, it's hard for someone with aspergers to grief for a death when they see death as just a logical thing that happens. But when studied theory of mind. I'm now as emotional as "normal" Nero typicial people. I feel that even without autism. Women have better theory of mind than men. That why on the phone men don't like ask their mates, "how are you feeling". More. "Do you watch the match last night". "Do you go out and chat up the girls". "Do you want to go out for a pint". The bottom one this was before they shut pub and become shitty COVID secure pubs.

[@ytProblem01]

Yeah I've read that women have a stronger connection between the emotional side of their brain and the logical side of their brains compared to men so women being more emotional does make sence

[@garyfrancis5015]

Theory of mind autism. The Baron Cohen study at Cambridge university. Very interesting. That were I got my psychology information from.

[@teodorasavoiu4664]

@@ytProblem01 that doesn't really imply women are more emotional though. It would rather imply women integrate both the narrowly defined 'rationality' (logic, systematic thinking i guess?) and theory of mind in the decision-making process. Which would make the decisions more rational in a broad sense, that is taking into account a wider range of relevant factors. Whereas a decision made by excluding either category of factors is hardly rational.

[@anjachan2]

Yeah thats me!

[@autismzaki2445]

Good video..👍👍

[@AaronALopez-ov7sn]

I have Asperger's Syndrome, I have to wear layers of clothes every day no matter the weather. I have OCD as well.

[@josephmartin1540]

Yes. Yes. Yes.

[@DEATHCHICKEN1337]

I'm nd but not autistic, I subbed cuz I'm interested. I wonder how I can apply your lessons to my life.

[@Allitche]

I can't choose what to eat at a restaurant for the life of me. So how the hell could I choose what career I should strive for?!

[@leigholding1397]

Hay Stephanie, you should do a talk on why Autistic people would look at you and say do you want to marry me. Jokes aside, I do find I fall in love easily but I have got better. Why do we fall so easily?

[@johniversen1539]

So this is why I am so slow with my school work.

[@topsyturvygirl]

I just can’t ever chose a movie

[@vazzaroth]

Literally that description of Heuristic made me cringe when you said "Not guaranteed to be optimal, perfect, or rational" and again when you said that an approximation was acceptable...! WHAT! I can see myself saying "Ehh, good enough" once I'm done or after trying a few things... but to SET OUT with that as the goal or within acceptable parameters seems nuts to me. At least if it's a thing that I actually care about. - ADHD diagnosed, highly suspect ASD but adult diagnoses seems borderline impossible.

[@vazzaroth]

Damn, never quite put together why that transition to college (and even HS a bit) felt like being thrown into the deep end so much. Mix that with my extreme social phobias that I work so very hard to hide meaning that I have never ever spoken to a councilor at school and I guess I have a good explanation of why I dropped out so quickly, lol! Wish I knew this a decade ago before youtube was finally able to inform me that I'm not neurotypical... Or that there was such a thing.

[@malazansapper]

yes college: wrecked

[@ACDBunnie]

Um, does this video talk about vaccines? I haven't seen the video yet, but isn't this video about autism and decision making? If the video doesn't mention vaccines I find it inappropriate that KZbin put a Wikipedia page mentioning vaccines under this video's title cause I assume they did it because this video and creator makes autism content.