2 Steps to NOT Reacting | Emotional Control

[@devinl8487]

"What they do to you has nothing to do with you." Totally going to keep this wisdom to help me care for myself.

[@spaideman7850]

wait till the narc assassinate your character with every relatives you know.

[@Frip36]

What if they're trying to help you? What if their criticism of you is valid? Just because certain people are narcissists doesn't mean those who aren't, are some sort of angels.

[@spaideman7850]

@@Frip36 if the narc criticism of you is valid and you ignore it, that means you are narc as well. their karma will haunt them, don't have to worry.

[@mmmr856]

I really needed to hear this

[@agape843]

That statement was a game changer for me.

[@lajimolala4968]

Silent, smile, then leave. Even if you cant leave, just keep yourself with you.

[@nawan2348]

❤

[@Therika7]

Well said.

[@eshita7390]

this man! i keep telling myself! before it was be yourself now it is be with yourself

[@JohnSmith-wo7ns]

Our reactions are their oxygen. Its hard but zip your lip smile and walk away.

[@markstevenson4762]

Wow love this saying so true 😊

[@JohnSmith-wo7ns]

@@markstevenson4762 🤐🙂👍

[@cc1k435]

I vote to look as if you know something they don't when you smile at them like that, because you do. You get to walk away, but they will always live with some kind of hell in their heads. 😮

[@JohnSmith-wo7ns]

@@cc1k435 excellent point!

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

Biting my tongue while reading this. It's hard but not impossible 😊

[@praizzzeee]

1. Taking full responsibility of how you feel: disengage from a conversation when you’re unable to control how you feel. 2. Whatever anybody is doing to trigger you has a lot to do with them and not you.❤❤

[@edgreen8140]

Observe don't absorb. Don't react.

[@adriancampbell630]

Easier said than done, takes a lot of practice.

[@itzajdmting]

It is so so hard.... Honestly.

[@casperinsight3524]

Being mindful requires daily self discipline and balance ☯☮

[@MaroonRose3216]

I try to tell myself “don’t let the water on the boat”. Not easy at all. It takes some practice.

[@aaronm.2718]

Observe. This is the way. Thanks for the helpful notion👍🏻✌🏻

[@ZenZone-li4fr]

I privately thank God for revealing this person's true identity and I choose not to react or respond.

[@jimzucker]

after so much childhood abuse and conditioning, after 15 years with narcs, so much people pleasing. after all that, when i finally got it and i understood what i was doing wrong, self regulations, don't take thing personally and becoming non reactive became my biggest challenge in life at 41. I wish i could be 20 again now by knowing all this.

[@a.pieceofpie]

It all began with me at about 40. Mannn, how I wish I knew this as a child. The amount of disrespect I allowed because I didn't know my value, didn't establish boundaries etc... Life is a big ole school ❤

[@kristyy2488]

Same… at the year of 40… never too late

[@sanjeevbains690]

My therapist told me that it would have not been possible for us to realize in our 20's due to our emotional maturity stage in life. This all comes to life in 30's at earliest. For me, it was age 35 and am so glad I never stopped this journey.

[@ogonebasiamang2163]

@@sanjeevbains690 thanks for sharing this

[@damienwelch9067]

Everyone learns different levels from

[@cintroberts6614]

After 26 years in law enforcement I have mastered this. I just don't take anything personally and I have found a deep passionate feelings for my hobbies.

[@MRB1199]

I'm in ems you and I are on the same boat

[@cc1k435]

I'm a teacher, and it's been great practice. 😂

[@irshikha]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Any tips?

[@Pacifica74]

People are showing us who they are. But the way we idealize them gets in the way.

[@ignoranceisnotatrend4669]

That hits hard

[@lonjemariesfashions5117]

I agree with you

[@Halcyon-12]

Hard to do at critical moments but I always keep repeating to myself the mantra ‘ I don’t have to go to every drama I’m invited to’ - Think! Be the observer of a situation not the participant. Practice emotional detachment after all does a tree need a bird to come? or even stay? Stand in your own power rather than give it away to someone **** em! … 😮

[@jeremysims1597]

Thank you very helpful

[@connieyoung1048]

Love the mantra and other analogies

[@carolsummers8734]

My husband would come home and immediately begin picking fault. He would pick up things and throw them. I was always baffled and the kids and I walked on eggshells. I could never please him. Then after 30 years he divorced me saying I was too critical and not a good Christian wife. It took years of therapy for me to accept he is a narcissist and it was never me.

[@tryphenarose384]

You weren't a good Christian wife? Yet he divorced you, when Jesus says not to divorce except for the instance of adultery. Amazing how he rationalized that.

[@lonjemariesfashions5117]

I am so sorry you went through that horrible horrible ordeal. Just know that there is health help and healing. You can thrive my dear and not barely survive. No precious. It was never you. I’m glad he was extremely unhealthy and he LEFT You! He actually blessed you when he left you. If he has a girlfriend, or if he ever remarried, may God have mercy on her soul.

[@JoJo-xo6fh]

My responsibility!! Own It!! Disengage! Distancing Myself from Situation!! It’s My Job to Own my Reactions!!❤️

[@ginasmitasin479]

I observed my younger sister getting off on getting me to lose my shit completely when I’d do something kind for her and she’d treat me and mine like we were trying to steal from her. I finally instead of being insulted would turn it around and very clearly explain to her that she was blaming me instead of taking responsibility for her own actions. She was in school for marriage and family therapy at the time. After decades of putting up with her manipulation and gossip I cut her out in 2016, never felt better. She was always loud, obnoxious, self centered and opinionated and I don’t have to put up with it anymore just because we are related.

[@anonomous1546]

It makes it more difficult when you know what gaslighting and word salads are. When you recognize it and it is a spiritual battle (Jezabel), all you can do it do your best to cut them off completely. I'm not in or interested in any type of romantic relationship, but still get this manipulative behavior or others trying to lift themselves up by putting me down. I'm sorry for others going through this. It's awful that think they can take the freedoms of others to give pleasure to themselves.

[@shavonnehamilton364]

This just happened to me something happened earlier in the day with one of my in-laws and my gut and first thought was to stay home … I ended up going anyway and exploding !! The day was terrible but your body is set up to protect you never ignore your feelings when you feel that something is wrong always listen to your first thought it’s a protection. If something feels off it’s because it is.

[@jodizellmer994]

I totally agree!

[@nbabombshell]

Yup

[@victoriavitoroulis3273]

I never realised the phrase Silence is Golden.. till I met a couple of toxics narcs . 😵‍💫

[@ANDROID697]

Silence is golden and duck tape is silver.

[@stephrachel2505]

​@ANDROID697 it's duct.

[@victoriavitoroulis3273]

@@ANDROID697 that’s hilariously true .. luv it

[@robertbotting983]

😂​@@ANDROID697

[@mihneapopa8856]

In fact, I think more often we’re not actually triggered by the person but by the interraction. Empaths tend to intuitively feel the orher person’s feeling . I think it’s some kind of mirroring

[@juelz713]

I agree. Sometimes you have to leave

[@martikabraidbar394]

YES!

[@NikkiGRocks4Ever]

Thank you Stephanie. It helps to know that they want me to react so that they can feel better about themselves. I no longer want to give away from power. I like the advice about not engaging with them. I can leave the situation.

[@sadderandwiser]

I have to live with a narcissistic parent and when I am triggered, I have tried counting to 3. And just by giving myself a little bit of time to breathe, I find that by the time I say three in my head, I no longer even want or need to to respond to that person. I'm just learning this habit though, so I write "count to 3" on the back of my hand to help me remember to do this. I hope this helps someone ❤️. It's so hard.

[@janeskey5042]

sounds like a great idea- every time , I tell myself that I’m not going to just “react” next time & then I DO and I regret it…It’s just a never-ending cycle I will try this ! Thanks

[@cloudslady3400]

The best method I’ve done is being soooo private with a narcissistic person…if they know your vulnerabilities and the things that hurt you the most in your life..they going to keep using them in every discussion…so I don’t care if you have to lie to hide those vulnerabilities never tell them anything real about you…NEVER

[@elli2387]

ACKNOWLEDGE THAT ALL THEY WANT IS TO CONTROL YOU. DON'T EVEN REACT TO THEIR NONSENSE. YOUR ADVISE CONFIRMED. APPRECIATE VIDEO.

[@lala5061]

That is all they want is control over u not even love...😒

[@cynthiawarren9379]

My brother and sister trigger me; I limit contact and I set boundaries.

[@Mancer1980]

Great video. Having dealt with more people like this than I care to admit I ASSURE YOU these people know what they’re doing when they’re trying to hurt you.

[@HelenMitchell1984]

Currently living with my ex who ended the relationship after an argument. I have been reactive literally the entire relationship and I really really needed this.

[@Faisal-nx8zy]

Why r u still living with him?

[@stevenkovler5133]

Or like me with my estranged wife , we are amazing in bed together, and I don’t want to give her up to another man !

[@justicedaicy]

Make a plan and quietly. Leave

[@ladennayoung2939]

I pray your strength in the Lord, and I pray that you get the finances and wherewithal to get in your own place. I pray that you get the courage to stand on your own in the mighty and matchless name of Jesus Christ of NAZARETH. The name above ALL names. AMEN.

[@SaystheTruth3]

Definitely leave safely...

[@HigherGold6]

Thank you. Disengaging really works for me because I always want to be the good one, and toxic ones are triggered by that simple fact that I prefer to exude light energy. Their demons are allergic to light, they hang around just to understand how to wound you so they can feel better. But the ego always loses in the end, so I keep my head high and process my emotional lessons through DISENGAGING.

[@ckl5801]

Everything she’s saying is true. I’m done cutting people out of my life because I can’t deal. There is no reason I can’t be nice, polite and boundaried. I never understood boundaries or put them into practice before. They make a big difference.

[@dymondqueen1584]

My coworker he’s an old man but everyday he bothers me, and I try not to react but he keeps provoking me, and I’m so tired 2 people already harassed me at work and now this old man.. I don’t even do anything to this man. I’m very kind and friendly and this man always try to make me feel less like why??? Then they act as if they are the victim .. I’m about to explode I hate my job now and this people who keep pushing my buttons.

[@sanjeevbains690]

Your feelings (anger, sadness, frustration...) are your own responsibility. Disengage and leave the situation to deal with your stuff = being emotionally mature vs reacting to your trigger.

[@juanderuano8969]

Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me,i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, I dont know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her

[@juanderuano8969]

@jaypritchett3414 wow, how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do i reach her?

[@juanderuano8969]

@jaypritchett3414 Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.

[@Lauraflorr]

Just focus on you and become the best version of yourself.. you probably did things to push her away . Take accountability For your actions and work that part of yourself. . Later you find someone new just treat them better . Live a happy life you deserve it

[@lonjemariesfashions5117]

When we react, they are the puppet master and we are the puppet. I love your videos. Thank you my dear for what you do and you are so correct. They’re transferring that negative energy onto you so that you’re the one that’s uncomfortable mad upset frustrated it’s like a nasty game that they play well life is like a chess game and videos like these allow me to respond not react to educate me and to play a better game in life cautious thank you.

[@DawnMaxwell-y4z]

Block them from your life . Who has time and especially your emotions to deal with ppl that won’t or can’t change ? There’s more to from those ppl that have a pattern of triggering you . Block !

[@julissat-flores7340]

Such a great lesson! My mom triggered me in different ways. I didn’t want to go no contact so I addressed my wounds and/or set boundaries. We have a good relationship. We are vulnerable with each other.

[@louthefou4052]

Holy shmokes, ive been living trying to please others my whole life thinking im responsible for their feelings. That was a hell of a wake up call! Thank you very much, feeling a lot more lighter taking responsibilities for my feelings and not taking others feeling for my own setting boundaries. Feeling a lot more confident onthe street :)

[@Twelvefourtyseven]

YEP, doing it now!! Slowing down interactions now, I’m tired, over it. No it’s not easy!! And the other person is FIGHTING it and trying to embarrass me and drag me down. To be expected.

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Glad to hear “to be excepted” if you’re aware of what’s to come you can prepare yourself and not be reactive.

[@Dee-Dee4959]

After being triggered by the same selfish behavior and beating myself over and over again, my personal motto/mantra became "next time will be different" and Einstein's "insanity is doing the same thing over & over gain & expecting different results"

[@sj2wavy]

wow, this is a great video! whether it’s family, friends or my job someone would always say something that i consider disrespectful and i would react everytime thinking that defending myself was better than not reacting, but it wasn’t doing anything but making me seem like the bad guy. so im glad that you were able to provide this video and help me understand that it’s not me but indeed something up with them and to not be reactive but to just observe and walk away from the situation! thank you! 🙏

[@jsmm2908]

Wow this is perfect timing for me. Thank you for this.

[@lorcashine]

You are so good at this. Thank you so much. I'm sitting here in tears (but alone!). I'm not good at this and have struggled with it for decades. It's hurt me personally and professionally. I really wish I had a better understanding of why other people say nasty or rude things to me, about me. Also, my mom (who I think probably had BPD--a lot of narcissism for sure) used to purposefully trigger me (my entire life). I finally figured out that she actually enjoyed making me lose it emotionally. It probably made her feel more powerful in her own life (she was in a relationship with a drug addict, alcoholic with npd). I learned how to recognize when she did it and I'd really try not to show her my true feelings, or she'd dig deeper. When I was successful, she'd get quiet and pout. I also moved thousands of miles away. It was a lot easier to deal with on the phone. Now she's gone and I still feel so unresolved about the whole relationship. It's very sad knowing I could never fix it. I couldn't help but hope on her death bed, I might get the real person under it all. She died without any notice, so didn't get that chance.

[@SusanS_]

I feel sad about the chaotic relationship you had with your Mom ….. I hope you have found love and feel peace 🌹

[@nicolemurphy2629]

I cannot imagine how hard that must be I'm always so happy at all of my children's success no matter how big or small..

[@laraparks7018]

I usually go on a cleaning spree, a shopping spree and have an at home spa night. Sometimes I'll dye or highlight my hair, get a haircut. It's exhausting and expensive 😮 to ALCHEMIZE toxicity but my apartment is orderly and it looks awesome lol

[@itzajdmting]

Don't take things personally - the 4 agreements.... Check it out people, it uses this approach.

[@DebberraHarriman-vo2cn]

Some people are so mean to others especially nowadays.Were supposed to be caring and respectful.

[@PaulineMesplou]

I learned the hard way that disengaging is the only thing to do. On a handful of occasions I had owned my feelings and responded in a very calm voice, making sense and trying to be pleasant about it. Oh boy did that put him in a rage! “Do you feel strong when you say this?” Followed by a huge session of humiliation and devaluing… so yeah, disengage silently and think whatever helps on the inside ❤

[@K505KID]

They served me an order of protection yesterday after we settled in court last year 😑 I would have fought it but I realized it goes both ways, they have to leave me alone as well

[@ryanmaus8924]

I just want to thank you for sharing this information. I've been following you for about 4 years. I am a couple days away from leaving a 11 year very narcissistic, emotionally abusive relationship. I came so far just to work the courage to leave. 2 children under 6 a house and financially secure. About 4 years I didn't have the language to explain what was happening to me. I only had my depression, frustration and confusion. Thank you for helping me :')

[@djw8591]

I really learned a lot from this video. I think my biggest take away was when you said “when we become reactive, we are making our feelings someone else’s responsibility.” That was quite a lot of wisdom there!!

[@sharonadair6417]

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! This is exactly a situation that happened to me 3 months ago and because of how I reacted (very badly, lashed out over not feeling heard, judged and unjustly accused, by my son and his wife, mostly his wife,)I said things I NEVER should have said EVER) It caused deep hurt . I have apologized 5 times now. We've met with our son. All is well with him now. Still have not met with our daughter-in-law. Her choice. She "needs more time" and says "she doesn't feel emotionally safe with me". I feel horrible and never want that. She is a person that is hard to be around quite a lot. She's very judgemental, has a lot of strange thinking and is extremely fearful/severe anxiety. Until we get together and work together through this, we don't get to see our 4 month old grandson😭 We haven't seen him since Thanksgiving and only 3 times before that. He was born in Sept 2023. Its a horrible situation

[@DMBtomp]

Been living with narcissistic / white middle class people my whole life. Family, work/ boss (academia is stacked!), some friends, church, girlfriends. I've always taken the strain for everyone else's drama & anxiety. It's ended up with me having PTSD. This is really refreshing. Learning to step away at the right time, & trust my intuition about situations & people - & slowing down. Boundaries is a big one I need lots of help with, so thanks for this.

[@krystalgardiner5591]

White lol Tell me your racist without saying your racist 👀

[@SaystheTruth3]

Of course you have PTSD so dramatic lol!... 🙄

[@tammymurphy1268]

The mirror effect..they are really mirring their inner self....wow

[@Roostertail76]

I really enjoyed this video . I’ve realized as I’ve gotten older I’ve become more observant which can be a good thing unless you need to work on your triggers.

[@Sam-pl3yd]

Yes Stephanie 💕you have to practice and not react to there toxic abuse as they just want to be in control! I know how to stay calm and look them in the eye and disengage 🙏❤️

[@debbiehepler2007]

When I stopped reacting they left me alone.

[@biggooeyyy]

this is a big one!

[@Mattheus217]

I have been working to practice these things in relationship to decrease reactivity. However, I have realized my partner is quite narcissistic like a covert narcissist. They deliberately trigger you and cut you down and then when you try to defend yourself, they say that oh my goodness you’re too sensitive you’re so reactive, you’re mad at your family etc. So they manipulate you and your feelings And devalue them and say that you’re the problem consistently at least that’s what I’m experiencing. When I pursue self-care healing, and growth I’m told that I’m selfish and prideful and lack empathy when I really feel that this other person lacks empathy

[@812irishblue]

I want to personally thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom. You literally helped me regain my soul, that I allowed the Narc to take away.

[@anonomous1546]

There are just so many of them!

[@Dee-Dee4959]

This whole talk has given me multiple light bulb moments! Thank you so much

[@riablakemore7387]

Thank you ❤ this feels like finally the final step towards me reentering the world and giving it go using what I've learnt

[@TD-nf1qo]

Just found your channel. My bf is not a narcissist, but he has many of the qualities of one through a mixture of personality, the way he was raised, learning disabilities, etc. This made me into an emotional wreck for many years...but with the help of a fantastic therapist, I have been learning this lesson that it isn't about me! His baggage makes him push my buttons so he doesnt have to take responsibility, and my baggage had me overreacting to his pushing. Things are becoming calmer as I learn to take ownership for my response, for my own self and stop trying to make him change his ways. This was so helpful and I appreciate it so much.

[@George-wx5nv]

Superb ❤ Stephanie I’ve put things into practice and started not to react it was difficult at 1st but every day it’s getting easier x❤ ty

[@NoBody-gr6zv]

You are the type of "relevant" that is actually relevant to our current reality.

[@Billy33753]

I been working on living in the present

[@amberfreitag42]

Being in customer service for so long and being homeless before that I really haven’t been treated the greatest but I’m now learning that it’s better to just say nothing and letting these things go instead of taking things personally I never really had to deal with people that genuinely don’t like me quite frankly and I’m having to learn to trust myself that I can rely on myself thanks so much Stephanie you’ve helped me so much I’m going to get back at it!

[@lillygandar844]

Out of all the videos I've watched on this subject you are the most spot on. The way you've explained it and your advice is outstanding I'm so glad I found you this morning :-)

[@rhondagriffith2159]

We can't wait for others to change to feel good...mind blowing‼️

[@CraigAnderson-h2h]

You can't control what other people do or say. However, you can always control your reactions to them, in fact, that is your responsibility. But instead we usually play the blame game and go in circles always coming back to where we are stuck in our own process allowing others to trigger us...

[@teresaneumann1098]

When i learned what , don't take,t things personally meant, it was a game changer for me.

[@cameoarrington785]

My only sister is a narcissist. I'm the oldest of 5. My parents were very dysfunctional. Domestic violence, alcohol abuse, and codependency were a way of like. I'm the only one in our family born without addiction problems. After my parents, both past my sister, really ramped up her negative behavior. Abusive phone calls, texts, and inappropriate posts on social media are all full of hate towards me. After we placed our Mom's ashes in a family plot in Idaho, my sister tried to keep the attention on herself. That didn't go well for her. She wrecked her rental car so I didn't get to spend my vacation with my own family. I had to come back to Las Vegas with her in the car. She was in withdrawal from over taking her pain meds during the trip. Last August, I blocked her out of my life. I'm a mother of 3 adult children & 8 grand kids. I have more peace in my world without her in it. I pray for her every night. My wish for her is to face her fears and heal. It's up to her. Life truly is about choices. I chose myself and the life I worked hard to build. I'm a retired nurse and a holistic healer. I have always chosen to lead by example. We do not have to accept less than we deserve. Always hold space for yourself first! Namaste ✨️ 🙏 ❤

[@jzplayr]

Golden! Obligations and expectations have killed me for decades...me towards other people, and them towards me.

[@ruthking5690]

Your videos have helped me through the years to help build myself up in better ways in understanding how I can manage myself better and set better boundaries for those around me. Definitely harder at first, but you're right, it gets easier with time. I have my slip ups sometimes with saying too much to one specific person I'm learning how to let go of now, because I have unconditional love for this individual. I wish I would have been the one to be able to guide us on a healthier path, but I know that inner work is left to each one of us. I want to carry all the ones I love with me on a better path, but I know that's impossible as I need to take care of me, not them in that way. Definitely working on myself; it's encouraging to hear your words when you mention how it gets easier when dealing with these situations. I promised myself I would manage the best I can with my co-parent in healthy ways, regardless of how they react, project their emotions, or past traumas onto me. It was a relationship I had to let go of logically; my emotional bond still exists, and I'm working on that too. It's that emotional bond, that allows me to let him back in when I shouldn't. It's difficult for me to see clear intentions sometimes with him specifically.

[@jessicavanvakas8393]

I really needed this video. Thank you so much. I am going to have to deal with my ex this month for my sons high school graduation. I will be watching this over again.

[@sammilul995]

Lyn, I love to hear you every time you are making sense and delivering it perfectly. You are one of the greatest. Don’t stop god bless you.❤

[@Billn1971]

This last 2 years I've been getting better at boundaries. I have a gaslighting narcissistic parent that drives me crazy sometimes. Instead of staying and having a breakdown... I politely excuse myself and leave earlier than I planned to. It feels so good to drop the conversation/ visit and walk away. I've had enough of thier bullshit.

[@lilyneva]

15:52 This made me realize I don’t need to and I shouldn’t explain to them why in need to interrupt the conversation. It is perfectly fine to give any reason I can think of, like someone being at the door. I guess for me it’s just hard to go between feeling close and open to a person, to distancing myself like this.

[@HollyBird29]

I don't think that I've ever heard it put this way before. Makes a lot of sense. ❤ Take Responsibility!!!❤ Thank you!

[@melanieharris3693]

Newbie here. 80% Very nice system. Started this journey Nov. 2o22. It's them not my actions. I've done this practice with my little children. After 40 years of not knowing about myself. Thank you. Yes, I just disengaged. 😅

[@braziliaan]

Thank you for this insight! I will take my responsibility. I cannot change other people, but I can change how I react.

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

💯💯💯

[@penkapetkova428]

Stephanie, you are amazing ! Everything you say is so clear ! Thank you so much !

[@dittodelphox9939]

Please write a book! Lots of books! I can’t afford your coaching sessions. However, I’d buy every one of your books in a heartbeat. 💙

[@Cooldudewhotellsamazingjokes]

Thanks for this video. As an introvert, it is so annoying when people who want to trigger me try to pry into my life. It gets bad. I used to work in a place where some coworkers would check what I was listening to on my phone while working. Stuff like that. I just want to be left alone.

[@jeremysims1597]

I feel you I have an entire entourage of ppl around me from one county to the next I’d figure I’d move they even know about that, come to find out it started with my family and neighbors… hang in there and may god see us both outta this if you can move it’ll give me hope

[@miahconnell23]

@Cool Dudicus Not a misanthrope nor [ clinically ] anti-social, but I DO require *much* more alone-time than most ppl. May i ask what you do for work ? I ask b/c being left alone sounds like it could be *at least* a *possibility* at your job. Like, when your workmates get told that not everybody is exactly like them: some folks just don’t wanna be “chatty,” y’know ? Some people feel relaxed & even a little happier if they can get ‘in the zone’ with a task or work-flow. Personally, I just cannot fake a smile or falsify a happy face & make chit-chat unless I’m truly, sincerely, actually, feelin ’ that.

[@Cooldudewhotellsamazingjokes]

@@miahconnell23 I work in a factory in a work shop setting. The department I used to work in had separate workstations for the various tasks. Things are better now. I hung in there and work in a better department now. There are still losers there. Every workplace has losers. But at least this time they are known for being malcontents by management. I have found that when dealing with a narc, it is a waiting game. As long as you are on the winning side of the equation, you are good. It will take a while for things to play out. But in the end you will win against the narc if you do two things. First, realize that third parties will decide who wins or loses. It is that simple. Second, be consistent. Narcs from what I have observed tend to carve out exceptions in their ethics. Do not do it. Be consistent and the third parties will side with you. One positive thing about narcs is that narcissism makes even the smartest person do stupid things. The narcissism creates impulses in the person that makes them act stupid from time to time. This is good because the narcs I have had the misfortune of dealing with were/ are far smarter than me. The only way I could hold my own with them is through their mistakes. At any rate, hang in there and be strong. Trust in God and do all you can to show you are sincere in your faith by doing your feeble and pathetic best. Then God will do everything else.

[@TheSteveb189]

I wish I’d had this advice when dealing with my Mother! It’s too late now, but this is helping me deal with her in my mind now. Thank you!

[@sararosales2943]

As an empath..I just wish I could turn it off! Dealing with a narcissist is the worse..literally the most evil people.

[@indigenouscuisines1446]

Thank you so much Dr.Stephanie, please do a video on self-parenting.

[@VioletaM85]

Thank u for helping me stay strong with these man-child nausea inducing😊

[@reydub6868]

They don’t want you to overact, you overact. Took me sixty years to figure that out, obviously family. My wife of ten years saw this and told me to get into therapy. I resisted, but she was and is right, of course she reminds me. Then my work had a class “ Emotional Intelligence.” Thanks

[@Gmatias2044]

I’ve watched many videos. This one in particular has been very helpful. You went straight to the point and offered solutions. Thank you!

[@mindbodysoleil]

Yas, Lady. Thank you for saying what we should know and inviting us to PRACTICE 🙏🏼

[@auntedna1843]

applying this to toxic coworker situation. literally so toxic. thank you.

[@paperdreamer2043]

Wednesday I caught my STBX in a lie about how longer he's been seeing his new supply. He tried to gaslight me into believing that OCT to APR was longer than 6 months. Tried to remove myself from the situation because I wasn't going to let him lie to my face. His response was to try to stop me from shutting my front door and hold me in the conversation. Nah. Not going to happen.

[@sweetnonh7190]

Im tired of being abused by my mother and she always plays the victim while im the bad guy and reacting makes it worse but then when i don't react she continues to abuse more and it makes me literally melt emotionally and mentally and this has to stop so im trying to find solutions

[@jsensefi]

God bless you, Stephanie🙏 You're sharing with people not only valuable and helpful information but also support us through that painful healing process. Be safe💗

[@lustertone8587]

Having cPTSD really complicates this for me. I am currently trying to work through years and years of stuffing trauma and hiding my emotions. This is especially difficult while experiencing dysregulation and freezing when in stressful conversations with a spouse who has a toxic personality and covert narcissistic traits. I have found that I have a limit of how much abuse and negativity I can take and when I finally reach my fill I have tended to blow to let the pressure out which then she uses to label me as the unstable, unpredictable or scary person in the relationship. It is a daily struggle to learn how to respond and not react. :/

[@BrianHornak]

Same here..ptsd makes it that much harder

[@timzou4763]

Your content is so helpful !! I’ve been trying to coparent with my ex who is so manipulative and so rude ! I always try to be the bigger person and no react but when things don’t go his way he talks really bad and I just disengage! At this point I’m hoping he finds some inner peace, I unfortunately have to stay in touch with him for our child but it’s bare minimum and even then he manages to throw in some hate ! Anyhoo these videos (inter alia) help me alot work on myself hard and not be reactive 🥰

[@lala5061]

I feel your pain 😞

[@eddiejamesmagic4207]

God its not only not the easiest but one of the hardest things in the world for me. I just wanna run away and im almost 40 years old....hardest stuff ive had to deal with but its nice to know ive beeb takin advantage of since the day i was born and knowing the truth has helped me feel better about the life i have lived so far went through heroin addiction and many others finally got my life together been clean over 5 years and now im healing mentally and have realized i need to start a new life

[@johntalcott2932]

Thanks!

[@johntalcott2932]

I appreciate you so much. I have been to therapy, and tried so much to understand my 11 year relationship and how it constantly blew up and then after a period of time we get back together. I adored this woman and would never do anything she accused me of, yet couldn’t see the fact that she was toxic due to her relationship with her family history and other issues from past relationships she was projecting. I have learned so much from you!!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making sense of the craziness that I couldn’t explain or understand. She recently said she wasn’t attracted anymore ( she does this for reaction) so I said fine went into no contact and started listening to you.

[@melissabudgets930]

I’m dealing with my sons dad that wants things that I can’t provide. And it’s upsetting for him to try to force things on me that make me uncomfortable

[@jamiestumps6146]

I Thank you so Much, for helping me pull this together!

[@RockyEverVigilant84]

Although this was created a year ago your information is timeless. Thank you

[@yussy_kitty]

Girl your makeup looks perfect

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Oh my gosh! Thank you 😊

[@elizabethanne462]

Currently going through this with my husband. We are almost certainly at the end, I’m trying to stay until my daughter finishes high school. My MIL used to trigger me. I learned to not react over time. I’m versed in this skill, but it’s ten times harder to implement this with someone you are living with, someone you have a long history with, and someone you still have feelings for.

[@Nobodaddy99]

meditation has really helped me give me that 1/2 second of seeing before I made an kneejerk reaction - however after dating a narc - That went straight outta the window! - Thanks for the great videos - so helpful to maintaining stability