THE MISTAKES YOU'RE MAKING!

[@Mjones4949]

The emotional attachment due to the trauma bond is absolutely brutal!

[@ladyvirgo013]

Very brutal

[@popmonika]

Having been going through currently recovering from a trauma bond (with help of therapy) I think the word trauma bond is the wrong word to describe it. First because you never had any real bond and second I would call it more a mental reaction to the narcissist and their emotional needs when compared to yours. Don't forget they manipulated you into thinking they were one person before flicking a switch or over obsessing over you before reverting to their true - selves. I would seek therapy asap... The long-term heath impacts could be severe. Don't wait until you end up in hospital - like I did.

[@MJ-qb5ph]

@@popmonika applied to family cult systems too

[@tonyg5132]

You know it’s funny. Months could go by where you think you are absolutely healed and over this person and you can get back into a very very strong sense of needing and wanting them again. It’s very frustrating and cuts you to your knees. I really think I am going to reach out to her again. I can feel it.

[@Mjones4949]

​@tonyg5132 I know its tough but dont! Mine contacted me 30 min after getting dumbed by the new supply. I find myself interacting but then she starts with all of the lies again. I can't go down this road again!!

[@steadypace1262]

The narcissist's mean/nice, hot/cold, push/pull cycle is the intermittent reinforcement that narcissist's use to keep their partner's in the relationship. This is not how a normal person acts or thinks and when the narcissist throws you the occasional breadcrumb it's easy to make the mistake of thinking that the relationship is starting to get on an even keel. Don't trust anything a narcissist says or does because they lie all the time and are only concerned about themselves. They don't have your best interest at heart, run while you can.

[@michellemorkel5956]

So true I saw this play out in my marriage, after being separated for 10months and he kept threatening that he will file for divorce I kept up the courage and met with an attorney to get the divorce going. I broke all contact, like you said I saw how toxic the relationship was. It is time for me to focus on my healing and walk this journey

[@TSCsREFLEX]

Easy to label and blame others. Sometimes, you have to take a deep dive into that mirror and realize you were not 100% either.

[@steadypace1262]

@@TSCsREFLEX True that no one is perfect but narcissists think they are, we are talking about people that deliberately emotionally abuse others for the sheer enjoyment of it. There is no excuse for abuse. Narcissists are users and abusers.

[@PeterGoesINya]

@@TSCsREFLEX exactly! that is why she is completely off base here and it's a one-sided judgemental video in my view.

[@PeterGoesINya]

@@steadypace1262 no that is not what we are talking about. That is your perception of what this bad video means. I would encourage the maker of the video to clarify this better. It was bad!

[@annhaney8014]

I totally relate to the idea that the narcissist will be semi-normal for a day or non-abusive for a bit and letting your guard down. I realized long-ago that this meant nothing and overall I could not trust this person ever. Once I deeply accepted and understood that this is how it is and I would never be able to have a relationship with this person, then things became a lot easier. Thank you Stephanie!

[@stevebrown7673]

Totally agree Don't let your guard down just because they act normal for an hour or two, a day or two. They never change. They were fucked-up a long time ago in childhood and never worked it out

[@kirkhensley5870]

Good on ya. You're right. Truly, let your healing come quickly.

[@fontainelebrock345]

So true!

[@whatsupchannel3047]

I had to go no contact 18 months ago , the damage they tried to inflict was unbelievable. The ways that they can do this is something you can never prepare for . They prove to you exactly why you needed to go no contact . It isn't easy but it's in the end empowerment and most of all peace .

[@realhealing7802]

The evilness comes out of the narcissists. It is unbelievable, but it was proof that I made the right decision. No contact was my only option to get away from the narcissists in my life ..

[@fortune.]

I almost had children with him. He was actually very proactive in "trying". I know why now in hindsight. To keep me trapped. 😔

[@leelee88ll.]

I just went no contact with my husband 3 days ago and so far is it the hardest thing I’ve done since the separation 2 months ago. I have absolutely nobody to talk to, to vent to or to just talk about how I’m feeling. It’s excruciating doing this completely alone. I’m in the darkest depths of my mind right now and it’s so scary and heartbreaking. Idk what to do or how to do this. I need some advice on how to cope and deal with how uncomfortable this pain is every single day. It’s hard.

[@krb743]

​@@leelee88ll.I understand you. I had to go no contact with my mother 2 months ago. But she didn't want me to do so and phones my husband. Then he also had to block her like I had done before. Believe, it's hard in the beginning but so peaceful and relaxing after passing some time. You will accustomed to this no contact so deeply that you don't want to come back by no means

[@leelee88ll.]

@@krb743 update: broke the no contact pretty fast. It’s hard when he’s telling me everything I want to hear so I have hope that things will get better and then he starts accusing me of crazy things that have no validity. Here’s one for example “you’re effing everyone I work with and the company is it on it too to take me down and eff me over!” Mind you I’m over 20 weeks pregnant with our second son together. I’ve had to move in w/ family with a 1yo and an 11 yo. He left us, abandoned us is what really happened. He’s beyond strung out. I’ve found out some very heart wrenching things he’s done to me since he left. He’s done so many evil things, he thinks everyone in his life is the same as him so he attacks anyone who actually cares and tries to help. We have been going thru this vicious cycle since Christmas we will come together “try to work it out” he can’t face what’s he’s done and he leaves and is MIA this has happened so many times I can’t keep count. We found out I was pregnant in August last year and then in September is when sh*t hit the fan he was outta town working was on dr*gs and hiding it and came home accusing me of course then packed his bags and left been gone ever since October the weekend after our baby boys 1st bday. It’s crazy bc our marriage wasn’t perfect but absolutely not at a point where it wasn’t fixable. But he relapsed after being sober for 3 years and has not recovered and lost everything. Our home sits empty and I have to see it everyday when I pick my daughter up from the bus bc my aunt lives next door to our used to be home and it’s very painful looking at it now. So this past weekend another toxic “I miss you” “I love you” “I want my fam back” and I let him in after knowing better he stayed one night things were good, I was at doctors appointments all day for me and baby and our 1yo and he plans on coming over to see us again after work. We did fight when he got here, bc all day while I was at the doc he was accusing me of being there with another man crazy things but we settled down and we helped my daughter with her math homework then he goes into the room kisses our baby goodbye tells me he’s leaving and none of this is my fault and leaves again. I didn’t look at him this time I didn’t say a word this time. I think I’m at my limit now. I cried of course but I didn’t let him see me. I didn’t text him or call after he left even tho he texted me some bs “I will always love you” im done letting him back in and seeing my kids hurt and confused, by their dad. Send me good vibes please. And prayers if you pray mostly for the kids hearts 💔. I would appreciate that. 😔how tf could you hurt everyone you protected and loved? I get it drugs and I’ve had my own problems in the past with drinking after I lost my Papaw but I never abandoned my kids.

[@lisarumes5016]

I just wanted to say that I thought I was alone with all of this trauma and pain but I realize after watching these amazing videos and reading these comments that I have formed a connection which I have not felt in a long time. Thank you. You are all truly a blessing❤

[@SandraBenavidez-ob1yt]

0

[@ditris69]

You're not alone 💜💚💙

[@lisarumes5016]

@@ditris69 Thank you. It really feels like it. I didn't really realize there was this much information on this. I knew what I was experiencing but I didn't truly understand what was happening. The validation of it gives me some peace and solace. It unfortunately causes irreparable damage.

[@ditris69]

@@lisarumes5016 unfortunately yes 💔

[@berlizgonzalez6736]

You are not alone! Sending hugs and positive vibes! Unfortunately not a lot of people know about the narcissistic abuse, unlike physical abuse, you cannot see the damage narcissistic abuse brings. The person suffers alone and no one knows all the manipulation, mental and emotional abuse, it's almost worst. It's easier to walk away from physical abuse and ppl will support you and the law protects you. But with abuse you cannot see, we're constantly trying to convince others including ourselves, that what's happening is not ok, so it's hard to walk away and the laws don't protect this kind of abuse nor do they protect our children from narcissistic parents 😔 I'm hopeful that one day we will have laws in place for this kind of abuse.

[@sweetoneloves6811]

I am still healing from a toxic relationship, so happy I have moved on.

[@ceresfast2414]

I rode my bike today. I did 8.6 miles and saw 1 deer and several horses. This has been a big part of my coping mechanism. I am also minimizing contact with my wife. I am living in the present moment and putting myself first.

[@lisarumes5016]

You have literally just verbalized my life for the past 10 years. I have never heard such truth in my entire life. Your videos are so real and relatable. Continue to do what you do as you describe these situations immensely accurate. Thank you❤

[@Jim-ub3bp]

Went no contact with a family member more than 20 years ago. I understood nothing then, but i knew it was an abnormal dynamic. I have no regrets and no expectations of completely understanding it all.

[@johnabraham7760]

I said I would not watch anymore of your videos. But you were so much help to me . I had to check in. You are still doing very well 😁

[@davidfogg1845]

had to block the person in my case, you are right, that person will never say sorry

[@martin2560]

Don't think about them or it or whatever. Train your brain by doing enjoyable activities that are also wholesome. Movies, dinner out, a drive, whatever. Then thrive. Concentrate on building yourself up and having fun in life again, while developing relationships with regular positive people.

[@ladyvirgo013]

Closure is just moving on. I needed to hear this. The first 2 weeks that I got ghosted by my husband, I kept trying to reach out to him. I'm now One day of being done doing that. He isn't for me,I don't like liars and cheaters, never have.

[@ladyvirgo013]

@@amandak9945 never heard of that, Thank you

[@octavia9464]

GOOD FOR YOU!!! STAY SMART AND SAFE!!! THAT'S WHAT I SAY. 😅😊❤🎉

[@ladyvirgo013]

@@octavia9464 I've relapsed. I tried to reach out to him 2 days ago. No use

[@berlizgonzalez6736]

@@ladyvirgo013 don't feel guilty. You are a human being and unlike the cold person he is, you're not him. One day he will look back and regret losing you. You may never hear him say that and he may never act like it, but deep down he's king to be a miserable person, he probably already is. So just try to do things to make yourself feel better. Surround yourself with ppl who love you and actually enjoy your company. Treat yourself to a mani/pedi, lunch with a friend, a new makeup product. It's easier sad than done. I'm 8 months into my divorce process, and the first 5 months I couldn't think of doing anything for myself. But I still forced myself to do something for myself. I signed up for a 10K with my bestie, then started going to the gym, putting make up on. For myself, not him. My husband discarded me, i still have days when I cry, more for our children. But I allow myself to cry, I don't feel guilty. You heal a wound by exposing it, not covering it up. Best of luck to you!!

[@ditris69]

They really don't know cause it's how they grew up 💔 My childhood wasn't easy but I don't go around using others as emotional punching bag. I seen the behavior patterns before and can't go through that again. Emotional roller coaster ride that I don't want to ride

[@ripley7t429]

I would stand a better chance of making a rock bleed than my soon to be ex be human and admit or apologize for anything. No reactions, no response, just delete and move on. Things are so dead now that the only thing that matters is the future. As an INFJ as well, the door has been shut on her. Her loss.

[@mdags3202]

Really needed to hear this today…..thank you. I am struggling in no contact after I found out that she cheated on me after telling me she just wanted to be alone etc etc….5 year relationship…..to end up like this. I want her to acknowledge the hurt and pain she put me through but I realize this will not change how I feel or diminish the hurt she inflicted….

[@ladyvirgo013]

Hmm sounds familiar, my husband of 12 years just did and said the same. My Intuition was spot on, he left our home of 12 years for the secretary at his works house. Notice how I use the words "home" & "house" BIG DIFFERENCE. I'm sending you strength, this shit is difficult

[@fortune.]

I'm so sorry. The sad fact is that if you tell her how hurt she made you, not only will she not care... but the narcissist as sick as they are, see that as some form of triumph. She won't care if you tell her and only feed off the attention she's getting from you. I'm angry with you. I wish you true unconditional happiness and love. No more walking on eggshells or anxiety or hurt. Be well... take time to be single. That's where I'm at. Because I have to be I'd be a terrible partner to a man not fully healed.

[@rubytuesday7653]

@@ladyvirgo013 Sorry you were fooled . Focus on you now.💛🦋💛

[@NicK-kh7nd]

Honestly it's hard getting others to respect your boundaries and not drag you into situations

[@juanderuano8969]

Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me,i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i don't know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her

[@juanderuano8969]

@jay pritchett wow, how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do i reach her?

[@juanderuano8969]

@jay pritchett Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.

[@nadjamedjedovic5313]

Sounds like the ball isn’t in your camp. Love yourself first and move on.

[@jasonrollins2701]

I've kept no contact, but I've had every urge and doubt you mentioned. Thanks for helping me to be strong. I can do this.

[@amymalina5073]

I think that obsession, that need for revenge, is also out of control ego. Ego that is now controlling you. And maybe you have more in common with the problems of this other person you now have come to recognize. Stop focusing on them and work on yourself. Easy to identify problems in others, especially problems we might also share to some extent

[@harritimonen4018]

Thanks for the great timing. As the scapegoat of the family, I didn't have any other option than finally go no contact. Healing is really a process. Ready to move on, but mind is still repeating and reminding all the old stuff when gets triggered. Struggling with all the stuff you mentioned. Is that a bingo ;)

[@realhealing7802]

Once I realized I was going to be scapegoated as long as I stayed in the narcissistic family system, no contact was my only option. You can't heal in an environment that made you sick!

[@lindamcmahon3323]

Once again Stephanie, you show up just when I need reinforcement. I went "no contact" 2 days ago after decades of hoping, naively, that things would be different with this family member. I just wrote in my journal an hour before I saw your video in my inbox that I needed to stop the insanity of doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. 6 years ago, you helped me out of a narcissistic partner relationship, and even though I have a lot more tools, your video was just the "refresher" I needed!

[@Saltysweetpea4769]

I went no contact about 30 yrs ago with 2 close family members -best thing I ever did. But it took me years to discover (with therapists help) it wasn’t me at fault. It can be done . 😀

[@TheXandemic]

Hit the nail on the head, I'm afraid to be alone, I think she is too. I'm done, I respect me enough to say, I work hard for my family, and loved ones, fuck everything else. I'm trying everyday to be better.

[@Morbass664]

The ONLY way out is thru. Never thought I’d have to experience this.

[@Morbass664]

My wife Lynn passed away 5/28/2021. Then last fall I began dating a woman from church. Since January when she first broke it off I’ve done a deep dive into CPDSD, Dismissive Attachment, and now most focusing on covert narcissists.. I was effectively caught in a trauma bond. Currently remaining No contact and blocked her from fb. Bryan 🙏

[@SassWahine808]

This is exactly what I felt, feel and battle with. Its been 2 mos since my "final discard" after many in the past years. Yet, I still have a hard time even though I've been doing the work and accepting he is who he is... there is still revenge at times. I'm so tired of healing over and over again but I dont wanna be in a relationship like that again.

[@briancyers6790]

Meaning of revenge = the other person still has negative control over you! Its hard to see forgiveness at some time but forgiveness sets you free!

[@skibunny1631]

I really got a lot out of this video. I'm going to watch it a few times until it really sinks in. Thank you Stephanie!

[@jamesbishop9156]

Going on month 3 of hermatude. It's all good in the hood. I'm better off without them. It will be nice to fill the void with truly positive people. 😎

[@seasonedbeefs]

Same here 🎉🎉

[@ForMannersSake]

Yeah, I have good days and bad. Just want the pain to go away.😢

[@jamesbishop9156]

I'm totally jacked up! I'm loving this! I DO have positive people in my life now already. 😁❤️👍🤙💪

[@jamesday7344]

Currently no contact for the 5th or 6th time in 2.5 years. Like a dog returning to its vomit, pretty sure this is the final break God willing

[@suedefrancisco8339]

I have needed to" make the break" from this abuse for years! Finally,I have had enough & something has torn inside me emotionally! I am near 70 & finally not having the guilty feelings taking care Of my abuser. Having CPTSD & WALKING AWAY is most freeing. There are a few good people in my world that see the gaslighting & backstabbing that has brought the debilitating lifestyle. I just Cannot function in it any longer. Jesus give me wings!

[@pgdarling301]

I wish i could go no contact but we have a child together. I am working on boundaries letting him know that access to me and my personal space is a no.

[@p.w.dollarssense1683]

Have you found that it has impeded your ability to readily or easily believe, welcome & trust others to get close to you as innocently as you once did before awakening & acquiring this knowledge, having had no other choice but to face and accept the painful life changing truth. They just gone on like nothing happened and leave you for dead to pick up your own pieces. This level of betrayal & discovering the reason you went through so much for so long and how slowly you were sabotaged and set up to lose - lost everything at the hands of those you loved - closest to you? How do you ever hope to trust anyone again after something like that? Gotta admit, my heart is still in tact but my guard is way up and Id rather not be bothered it risk it. The cost it too high to be casual about who you let in next or again. That of course is another reward for their team who love to see us isolated. Whew!

[@astridhanl4861]

Oh my god you get this need to communicate to them what they've done so accurately! And it's so important to know, that I won't feed their narrative of me always being available and having lost them and their ego anymore. Thank you❤

[@veronicaguerra2026]

Your videos bring me the most comfort and validation after a 3 year relationship with someone who discombobulated my heart and soul. Thank you and please keep them coming!!

[@davidcoppotelli3957]

Yeah But look at the SMILE on your Face Now.

[@guenthermarschall01]

I broke off contact in November 22, without the slightest exception - and also blocked all channels. The painful thing in this time was not to miss her - oh no! - it was all my anger that I could not play back with full force. Underneath it was also a lot of anger at myself for letting all this happen to me. It was really hard, but I did it. Today, 9 months later, I see that woman quite clearly - and I am happier every day that she is no longer in my life. However, it will take a while to work through the hurt. If I were to call her in for this, it would be like expecting healing from my tormentor - something that never works. Your videos, by the way, were part of my way back. They have been good for me. Thank you so much for that.

[@gogosylvia293]

One of the hardest things I've ever done was file a restraining order against my former boyfriend. The emotional abuse was over the top, and the only way to catch a break was to get back together with him. I'd have at least a few days of reprieve until his next meltdown, which could last days and were terrifying toward the end. Dealing with why it was so hard to file an order against someone so destructive, why I sometimes miss the person who rained down so much pain and fear, and why I try to downplay the horror of that time is my daily, sometimes hourly and minute-by-minute struggle. And its been over a year. Thank you for breaking it down. I realize I have to accept the time frame of my own grief processing, even if it takes years, but it helps to know why I feel this way.

[@MJ-qb5ph]

Unless you have experienced it you won’t get it. I have experienced it and I will never get it

[@amybostic1439]

Stephanie-you’re ALWAYS so on the money and I needed this today. Thank you ❤

[@laurengarrett9005]

I filed for legal separation and was no contact. Felt great. My financial state was worse of course. I was to get 13 months of spousal support . He offered to pay less but enough to pay mybills but offered to pay it for 5 years so it would be less for him. I agreed reluctantly. Then the nwxt days he says he doesnt think it would be a good idea to help me since i dint care about him anymore. So as usual he went back on his word. What a cruel thing to do but what did i expect.

[@cherylmcelman6648]

The trauma bond is real, it’s been two months since I ended it with the covert narc and went NO contact. The first month it felt good to take my power back, but I was so emotionally exhausted I was enjoying some alone time and rest. 2nd month a little harder and even though I am ok in my own company it is definitely lonely at times. 😮

[@brentonvisagie5485]

The information you provide is world class. I love it ❤️ Brenton ..South Africa 🇿🇦

[@fontainelebrock345]

Beautifully and accurately articulating all the messed up feelings and upside down thought processes taking place inside

[@stevewill4633]

They tell you its over, then say they didnt end it. Encountering the Npd is the worst experience of my life. Draining!!!

[@glenp1]

I love this and needed the reassurance that I am making the right choice. One huge thing for me is digging deep and taking accountability as to why I allowed the treatment. Wishing love and healing to all.

[@caroleminke6116]

We have nothing to fear but fear itself-FDR & You must do that which you think you cannot do!-ERR

[@roach7395]

So on time. I saw my ex for the first time since no contact, and he was with his new lady. I couldn't help but get entirely too curious about what version of him she is getting. Thank you for the redirection!

[@therealbronxilla]

Totally spot on. I wrote one last email to my ex-narc to at least document her wrongs. Her reply was just some vile, false accusations so, not only did I not get closure, I got more flack to deal with. It's hard but necessary to walk away and accept that this person will never admit to anything.

[@fortune.]

Hi Stephanie. I'm a new subscriber. Long story short, he was a very charming calm covert who fully trauma bonded me and gaslit my Mother against me. I'm still healing mentally. I heard a song that reminded me of him today. The Cure. My favorite band. The music made me think of "good times". There were no good times. They didn't exist. I almost broke NC and texted him, even though his number is deleted. The power they have over people's minds is sick and malicious. Demonic. I needed this video thank you. Thank you thank you thank you. I stumbled across this and it flipped off the narc spell that clearly is still in effect, even after disengaged. Thanks.

[@lorimiller7261]

Be honest with yourself. Remember how they treated you! They showed you who they truly are. Great advice ❤

[@jud-asinsmith-stansell2022]

Yes being suck in communication because of kids is the worse. Button pushing on purpose.. at lest I recognize the game.

[@kbstrong429]

Ahhh yes I love super smart people Thank You ☺️🥰

[@mto354]

“Love bombing” sounds like someone who’s trying to romantically win someone back (and hopefully make some changes in their life), so sometimes I have difficult time with labeling all of these things that could ultimately lead to positive change and come from LOVE. Trust love.

[@shortbuscaptain]

I used to get attached to a lot of people including relationships. I have learned over the years they just don’t give a fuck anymore. 100% sure if I die none of them would attend my funeral which is ok. It was difficult to adjust on being alone but I have gotten used to it. Better to die alone rather than being surrounded by people who make you feel alone.

[@jimcogar1840]

Great stuff, Stephanie! Thank you! 🙌

[@donaldgansky5907]

Great and informative video. Follow these suggestions, do the work and you will enjoy the outcome and benefits. Thanks

[@kirkhensley5870]

Bullseye young lady. 9:12 You're good at this. Everyone out there be keen on the sneaky ways these people try to come back for validation. Remember that they will guilt you, bait you and bring up long lists of small accomplishments. "Remember when I took you to those movies..." (Movies you hated) "We went to concerts together..." (Concerts only they liked.) "Now you're talking like a victim..." "If that's how you remember those times, I can't help you with that..." "I was drunk/ I was high/ do you know how old I was then?" Any of these sound familiar? Good luck to everyone in this boat. Godspeed.

[@MeenaHarlow-kx4fz]

Be aware of their kindness.

[@shannonb.53]

Beware of their kindness.

[@sanjeevbains690]

I was 💯 lonely & kept running back to a toxic partner & family system. Then I discovered Stephanie & this channel 🎉 It’s taken me 3 full years but at last I have NO CONTACT with my partner (divorced diva 💃🏽) & MINIMAL CONTACT with my family system 🥳🍃❤. I ❤️ my life 🌸

[@christophervanheerden6499]

No contact is my default setting

[@niecygandy8911]

going no contact worked for me it's been 7 months now

[@slick_Ric]

even though I don't know 100% that i dealt with a narcissist this information was a huge blessing and God definitely used you to lift me up with that right now, thank you. especially your points about "closure" simply being my decision to move on, and the fact that even if I don't go completely no contact there cannot be an emotional/personal connection any longer. just praying that i stay consistent taking care of myself and walking with God until i meet the right one, you've definitely helped encourage me towards that 🙏

[@specialk4762]

Thanks for this very much needed video! Stay strong Y'all, love yourselves more! ✌️💜😎

[@octavia9464]

This was very, very helpful!!! This is truly the best and only way to go about dealing with the narcissist!!! Amen 💯 🙏 God bless you!!!! This message was awesome!!!! 💯❣️

[@lisavansant961]

Great video Stephanie I really needed it tonight thank you very much... You're a blessing.

[@HFTLH]

Thank you for this. There were some things I really needed to hear. Hopefully this will help me to progress with letting go and moving on in a healthy way.

[@mto354]

As much as I love these videos, especially as it pertains to family trauma, I do wonder with relationships if some healthy counseling is what’s needed most? I like to think that people can change. Grace and forgiveness are good. Listening to others and letting them feel heard is key. We can all be ‘anchors’ or ‘secure’ with the right therapy. Trust love!

[@ek9348]

Its not that ‘all people can change’ is the issue. The issue is that ‘not all people WANT to change’. You really need to make that conscious for you. Otherwise you will keep hit by toxic people over and over again. Reality is that not everybody sees counselling as a solution. It takes two to tango. If you want counseling, but the other person doesn’t want to (or even worse the other person uses counseling to manipulate you and/or trying to make you look bad and the cause of the problem), counseling is not working. And narcs never take the blame sincerely and will never show remorse and self insight (or they just pretend to get rid of the situation and as soon as counseling stops , they start all over again, demolishing you and even worse, because counseling might have given them more info and tactics to bring you down.) and it has nothing to do with distrusting love. But it has everything to do that we need to be real that toxic and narcissic persons cannot be trusted.

[@_ross5800]

Thank you again!!

[@Someoneoutthere67]

Glad I found you, Thank you,Good info, helping me heal.

[@phoenixangelascensiontarot5840]

Screw that beautiful young lady Steph Love if I'm outrageously or ridiculously being MEAN to someone on purpose I'm going to continue to be that way toward's that PERSON beautiful young lady Steph Love !!!🥰💜💯

[@krs.10]

I feel like you've been looking into my marriage/relationship because it's spot on! This message was incredibly insightful and helpful. ❤ Edit: I'm not able to leave just yet. In the meantime I've tried to execute a amicable professional relationship with my husband for our teen. My toxic husband hates it and works extra hard at only being physical and sexual, it's so tough being a sexual person myself (only when in that instant when being literally worked up), I hate it, and of course if I demand No I get accused of cheating and all types of things that I'm left to participate and fall right back into our toxic pattern which always leads into ugly fights. Its so exhausting and overwhelming.

[@sadeyes1966]

I can relate to what you are saying. It's so difficult. In your mind you know what is the right thing to do but you can be your own worst enemy by giving into them.

[@Fiawordweaver]

Death is a welcome no contact after years of fear. I’m 70. Narcissistic mother died in 2020. She was 96. Thank you death.

[@rosaliaoliver-qv3gr]

Thank you for your advice! I understand you,and feel comfort

[@AngelicaAndge-ee3uj]

Thank you so much for this video. It helps me a lot on how to continue on my no contact phase.

[@anjas.2236]

I really needed to hear this right now. 😢

[@MsRN2B2011]

Thank you for this .

[@ladyevefan]

thank you for your content. im going through this right now.

[@kathyjustice9182]

This really spoke to me as im 3 weeks in no contact I asked not to contact me for a month. Times i feel weak and miss him but the worst is im feeling bitter and not very nice to other people Anyone relate?

[@Sam-pl3yd]

Hia Stephanie yes it’s the fear I have had for years. I have to keep boundaries 🙏❤️❤️❤️

[@animals-527]

The story moved just as you explained!

[@Dirshaun]

I had moved 4 hrs and 30 min to be with her. She left me a dear John note. 6 years gone in one day. I moved back to where I had been. So I gave her the break up and I put a few hundred miles between us. It's nice to think she might contact me some day, but I put way to many hurdles between her and I to make it easy. If she wants to be with me again, she needs to make that decision soon and even then she'll have to put in the same effort I did to be with her.

[@juliagoolia5604]

Thank you🎉 ❤so validating, clarifying and helpful.

[@erichminkle1167]

Thank you Steph.. def needed right now! 🙂

[@markdow1093]

You're totally awesome, everything you talk about is the truth, keep up the great work educating people🎉👍😇

[@theloveflows8773]

Thank you so much. Broke 5 days ago, much love❤

[@bonniehafeman9757]

Thanks for sharing your wisdom and encouragement.

[@jamesmf968]

Your videos are keeping me going. Thank you. ❤

[@blackrose3644]

You are a life saver ❤

[@scottnewcomb4230]

Thank you for this video. It is perfect timing for me.

[@KarenSteelMusic]

Yes, exactly!

[@brigitteotto7185]

Right on time! Thank you!

[@susananderson6882]

so perfect to listen to this today 🙏 mahalo! 💜

[@carolhopetyler2178]

OMG. Thank you. So good.

[@Sdy187]

This video is especially difficult for me because I didn't want to go no contact with my wife. I was just thinking and hoping that she would wake up and realize how much I love her. But, at the end I was still dealing with the tramua bond with all of her past abuse of me. Once I started the No Contact it wasn't as bad or hard as I thought it would be.

[@Sdy187]

And yes I was lonely and I was very dependent of her. Even though I knew that she didn't love me anymore

[@George-wx5nv]

Again Steph great 👍 advise I needed that ❤ty so true I found my self in some of these situations some things I have set boundaries , and at 1st it was difficult but things are getting easier day by day ❤ty ❤

[@hayleypeel9895]

Fantastic video. Saved and will refer to regularly.

[@Angels4us-2]

Thank you!!!!!❤❤❤❤

[@frederickhartray9701]

I got you to 900 likes. You give great advice.

[@onthedamsquare]

Sooooo true!

[@tmitz73]

thank you!

[@MJ-qb5ph]

A good friend of mine came out to me as a sex addict while I was suicidal due to this BS. His physical withdrawal was identical to me going no contact with my entire family - it was strangely comforting

[@susanwarner6994]

Thank you for this.

[@s.r5256]

Great job as always Ms Stephanie 🎯💯✔️