Stephen Colbert's Cyborgasm: Robot Pooch Companions And China's Giant Space Snake

In this edition of "Cyborgasm," Stephen examines a robot that feeds treats to your dog, and takes a cautious look at China's latest space exploration technology. #Colbert #Comedy #Cyborgasm
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

[@Astukart]

Jon is such a treat of a human being, that you sometimes overlook how phenomenal the rest of the band is. Louis is an incredibly gifted musician and he seems like a really nice, amicable person. While I'm looking forward to seeing Jon return to his usual spot, this week has been a great opportunity to get to know some of the rest of the band a little bit better.

[@calvinandthecoalcars6188]

He could go down as the most influential musician of an entire generation

[@tyrant-den884]

I'm assuming whatever happened to Flippy 1 involved a giant robotic Chinese snake.

[@tedmccarthy4761]

it was a contract killing ordered by the robot mob . cyborganized crime.

[@ruelarila7201]

I'm really glad to see and hear from Lewis. No shade to Jon but I hope I get to hear more from the other members of the band.

[@flexplayz6551]

Fuck it, just make a damn podcast with all of them in a rotating setup.

[@phoenixzappa7366]

"shade" smh

[@Sjalabais]

What happened to Jon? Moved on?

[@shwndrws7785]

@@Sjalabais Grammy's week *Which I guess the band is not invited to or wasn't on his album?

[@chezmoi42]

@@Sjalabais Did you even watch the video?

[@davidmatthews3131]

Colbert's writers are a joy and his delivery is perfect.

[@mrwilson7617]

You can tell he was a fan of David Letterman.

[@Scott2122232425]

Flawless every night. But i love it when he does the odd mess and cracks up lol.

[@jimslancio]

5:38 "... which of course raises the troubling question ..." is what happens when good writing meets superlative delivery.

[@edwardfletcher7790]

Can't get enough of Colbert, incredibly funny man 👍

[@jpdemer5]

With White Castle, the memorable moments come a few hours later.

[@ClickItYT]

That happened to me after my first and only visit at KFC.

[@Artysmarty150]

“Which of course raises the troubling question…” 😂😂

[@rossbusher4412]

A horribly disfiguring hot grease/hydraulic fluid accident.

[@Lucius1958]

@@rossbusher4412 "Flippy 1 sleeps with the fish fillets..."

[@SpaceForceCommander]

Flippy-1 tried to form a robot union but got Jimmy Hoffaed.

[@marcpeterson1092]

By Jeff Bezos.

[@Hornswroggle]

Would love to have a step by step introduction to the people of Stay Human. Like every day after the Monolouge pick out a member to introduce a little bit.

[@Tonyhouse1168]

!!!!!

[@russellkeyes3984]

Colbert and his writers at their best. This segment makes me wish I could get all my tech news like this.

[@sealyoness]

Lol, and they probably would have found a better name for the burger-bot.

[@stephanlarsen8169]

Yes I Jah. He's nailing it Jah rastafari praises blessings respectfully Tucson Arizona Sonoran desert 🏜️ Jah sisters

[@kristieamaya3365]

Loving having Louis here so very much. He's wonderful. 💗

[@Romans-dz1bq]

What happened to Jon?

[@simgem]

@@Romans-dz1bq he has 11 Grammy nominations, almost 50% more than the people tied for second-most nominations! They're coming soon so he's preparing!

[@MaryAnnNytowl]

Taking time to say what you're _not_ gonna do with your new robotic space snake is real ... comforting. 😳 Sure it is. Thanks, Stephen and co., for giving me a ray of light in my darkness.

[@kaladan1890]

i can barely hit my drum with my whole body and this guy plays drum and guitar...

[@FirstLast-di5sr]

China: 'it's not a weapon, it's a special satellite condenser.'

[@reebalamaka]

The build up for "what happened to flippy 1?" was AMAZING!! I was like; ASK THEM!! ASK THEM, WE ALL WANT TO KNOW.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@laalaa99stl]

Grammy sherpa. Yes indeed!

[@chrisandersen5635]

The robot boy elicited one emotional response in me: CREEPY!!!🙀

[@DavidBolender]

I was hoping to hear Stephen say " After I eat at White Castle, I've always had a memorable Movement."

[@paladonis]

50 years down the line, Samuel Jackson is in space yelling "I have had enough of these MFing snakes in MFing Space!" As far a Flippy goes, it's been in the works since 2018. I remember seeing ads for it getting used in Pasadena and getting a lot of attention. Then, it could only do burgers so it was pretty limited. If you had a chain store (IE McDonald's) you still had to have workers doing chicken nuggets, chicken sandwiches, etc so it would have taken up too much space. Flippy 2 is a whole kitchen set up with auro bins, automated fryer drops, and smart bins to separate other types off food. It also come with upgraded infrared and many other aspects. Yes. I know an odd amount about it, but new advances like that are always interesting to me. I had just seen an article on the Flippy 2 a few days ago.

[@theblade9024]

Flippy one was disarmed. Love White Castle. The meal you remember for days.

[@phriedokra6158]

all fast food will be AI manned now that workers want 15 an hour dear....

[@x_warhog_x8701]

@@phriedokra6158 Automation was coming long before the workers wanted $15 an hour they were looking for a way to replace real humans years ago.

[@hawkeye5955]

Samuel L. Jackson: "Everybody strap in! I'm about to open up some motherfuckin' airlocks!"

[@Artysmarty150]

The Samuel L. Jackson joke is on point. 😂

[@OldJerzyDevil]

Robots can never forget. That's why Flippy I, sadly, after working the grill at White Castle for only three hours, "decommissioned" itself by smashing it's head into the deep fryer.

[@scottmwilhelms2437]

Spongebob says yeah that's what happened. 🧽🔨🤖🤫

[@karlamccullough8614]

Love Steven Colbert All joking aside the corporations are investing in technology and robots instead of hiring employees. Most robots can function 16+ hours a day, 7 days a week. Robots don't need sick leave or vacation time, they don't need health insurance, they eliminate the need to advertise, interview, hire, and fire people. They don't go on strike or complain.

[@karlamccullough8614]

@first last that's a another whole can of worms. I'm old, in my experience every time minimum wage increases the cost of products and services, and the cost of living increases.

[@carolr7333]

Flippy flipped out at a store full of drunken Kens and Karens at 2 a.m. and suicide by hot Crisco was its only solace

[@Lucius1958]

Probably flipped 1 at the manager first...🖕

[@michaeladams6847]

It's a vacuum that gives dogs treats. They're going to be absolutely torn between terrified and best friends forever 😆

[@chezmoi42]

Watch for Roomba's newest attachments!

[@oneirishpoet]

Our dog seems to like the Roomba so if it gives him treats it will be his new best friend... Oh wait, what?! 😋🤔

[@theblade9024]

Stupid product for stupid people who have too much money.

[@janelacher9234]

My dogs would destroy that thing to get at the treats!

[@loisfolk5492]

If it makes noise my dog would tear it apart in two minutes. Dog treat robot would not be allowed to live. When I would get home she would be proudly showing me what she did. Doggo power. ☮️✌️🖖

[@ericdoe2318]

Louis is doing great!!! I think you should give the whole band a mic!!!

[@AcidSugar1414]

I love the band paying respects to each other in public 💜

[@tvdinner325]

My dog would tear that treat-bot apart, before my car was out of the driveway.

[@TheDanishGuyReviews]

"There are snakes in space?" "There's everything in space!"

[@edwardblair4096]

With that Chinese space snake story, how did you resist throwing in a GI-Joe reference? Their whole job is to defend us from KOBRA, right?

[@ShaniAce]

OMG Stephen and the writers are on a roll! That was hilarious. 🤣

[@Shicksalblume]

The bachelor's degree requirement for flipping burgers hit a bit too close to home given the troubles I've had getting a job with my degree.

[@andrewtorrens7790]

It'll only get harder as more jobs get automated. Picture how it'll be when self-driving cats become mainstream...

[@LindaC616]

@@andrewtorrens7790 lol, pleeeease tell me you meant "cars"...! 😆

[@allisonjames2923]

@@andrewtorrens7790 Lol. Self-driving cats are indeed a frightening thought 😳

[@JJ-ig9im]

Would literally cut your salary in Half without it

[@CoastalSphinx]

@@allisonjames2923 The best case scenario is depicted in "My Neighbor Totoro"

[@jessicastevens5782]

clearly the emotions programmer has never seen or felt happiness

[@LoveYou-lc5kv]

I just don’t understand how many years ago we had these movies about robots taking over, and why we’re doing everything in our power to make that happen. 🤔 why did the fifth element just pop in my head?

[@demondogmom7221]

Find "Colossus: The Forbin Project" even better. Old movie but...

[@cjmacq-vg8um]

let's see, there's also the "matrix," " colossus: the forbin project" and "i, robot." even the book and film "frankenstein" are examples. humanity has been warned FOR CENTURIES about our impending slavery to corporate controlled machines. you wanna know why the ruling elite want us controlled by these machines? because the ruling elite control the machines. a. i. is a total joke. its impossible. all technology will always be subject to its programming. and its the ruling elite who do the programing. yet we still have idiots around pushing for the entire technological takeover of humanity. idiocy is a disease. but its a disease that hurts others just as much as those who're inflicted with it.

[@enviromental2565]

One of my favorite campy movies, lol.

[@nelsonclub7722]

iRobot

[@Jivolt]

Lewis just playing drums while holding a guitar like you do.

[@gusheredia]

At this rate Lewis' gonna end up like a one-man band. 😄

[@sympathderseefahrer420]

Gotta say, Lewis is just great!

[@jhwheuer]

White Castle is looking for a bachelor in performing arts, of course…

[@jadewalker2443]

I figured that Jon had to take an extended break to drive a moving van to Vegas in order to take all his Grammys home. Didn’t know he was getting sherpas.

[@akinpaws]

I imagine he's writing speeches. How do you get the important bits in no matter how few you get, but still have something ready to say if you win all 11?

[@ReidGameX]

I use pleasantries with Alexa, Siri, etc, because AI won’t forget.

[@JKallday19]

Much love

[@ajt51773]

🤗💖

[@zesty9815]

2:15 Omigod! It's baby Putin!

[@malissahyatt2425]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@Tustin2121]

China’s comments about what it’s space snake can do is clearly just them seeding ideas for the next big sci-fi property and/or giving the writers at Disney ideas for the next Star Wars movie. Researcher in China: “Really, Disney?! A bigger Death Star?! How about a space snake, huh?! Here, I’LL show you how it’s done!!”

[@timefortinybirdandfriends6565]

He’s so funny! I laff sooooooo much!

[@tania2897]

I had a dream of a large robotic snake shooting a laser onto the earth and having to run and hide. That was 4 years ago. Yay, prescience.

[@allisonjames2923]

😳 Please stay awake for the next 100 years, just in case your dream gave them ideas

[@kurtreber9813]

@@allisonjames2923 and, because of Freddy. He keeps coming back when you least expect it.

[@The_Serpent_of_Eden]

Could've just been the Cosmic Serpent. Numerous human myths from around the globe feature a massive snake encircling the world. If you trip on ayahuasca you can meet her!

[@tania2897]

@@The_Serpent_of_Eden I'll have to look that up. It was not a pleasant dream.

[@allisonjames2923]

@@kurtreber9813 Darn Freddy Kruger. He definitely caused me some nightmares when I was young

[@jeffs6090]

Oh, eating at White Castle is most definitely memorable! Within an hour, you'll be on the toilet wishing you never did that!

[@barrybjerke9353]

... unbelievable amount of musical talent on this show !!

[@johnhaxby306]

i think the "memorable moment" that happens when going to a fast food restaurant takes place about 2 hours later.

[@SpaceForceCommander]

How long before the first remote-controlled store gets mugged… 🤔

[@jpdemer5]

They'll have a Robo-Cop take care of that little problem.

[@FirstLast-di5sr]

You never seen a messed up vending machine?

[@LtJackboot]

6:12- it was FLIPICIDE!

[@babstra55]

after seeing the images for the AI's 'six emotions', I conlude it only knows 1 emotion: constipation.

[@Astrobrant2]

"Every time I have eaten at a White Castle, I would have paid money to forget it." [to quote someone] "...which, of course, raises the troubling question...."

[@Blackout5871]

"...allows for the redeployment of team members..." as in FIRED.

[@Yourmomshassole]

Impossible sliders and the chicken joints are good but the OG White Castle sliders taste like heartburn.

[@Donttrustthatburger5144]

I feel informed and amused

[@shortsatire5669]

RIP Flippy One. 😂

[@lazyperfectionist1]

Now this I don't understand. If you _want_ your dog to have a companion and you _have_ $250 to spend, why not just buy a second _dog?_

[@nycatlady2314]

I agree. There are a lot of dogs in kill shelters looking to live.

[@yudithcaron8053]

Maybe you don't want your first dog to fight with a living being and would rather see it dismember a robot dog? Maybe you're prepping your dog for the robot uprising?

[@MonkeyJedi99]

That robot's "happiness" looks more like "potty time".

[@aweenlee8246]

always one of the best segment.

[@peterbathum2775]

Great show great band. Thanks for allowing us to share time with you and this hot band

[@yashistampedes5849]

i want that coffeemaker dammit.

[@Wolverines77]

White Castle is fine dining when one considers that Krystals still exists...

[@jessecarliner7733]

I always thought one of the things about White Castle burgers was that they were designed so that they did not need to be flipped. This begs the question; if the burgers don't need to be flipped what are the robots really doing? When I went to confirm this with Google, as soon as I typed "Do White Castle" the top auto completion to my question was "burgers cause cancer"

[@dainbramage9508]

Flippy 1 was murdered by a giant Chinese robot snake! Great show 👏 👍

[@gustavofigueiredo1798]

2:53 "Hapiness" and "anger" just look like it's trying to read without glasses.

[@brianhoefer7148]

2:00 Cyborgs have only one eye, like K.I.T.T.

[@Markyroson]

Love hearing “miss you” as the opener. I didn’t know they played stones tracks.

[@brettAnichols]

5:39 Flippy 1 we hardly knew thee😁

[@Sundayjean]

Really enjoying this weeks music.

[@melanieevans8860]

I can't stop laughing!!! 😂😂😂😂

[@HellHunter00]

lmao this needs fixing- 'redeployment of team members to -focus on creating memorable moments for customers- staying home after being retrenched'.

[@katthefantastic]

Snakes in space!?! Am I living in a Rick&Morty dimension now!?!

[@racookster]

The statement at 6:12 is the funniest part, and Flippy 2's manufacturer wrote that. The only place it's going to redeploy "team members" (once known as "employees") is to the unemployment office.

[@thetowerstillstands]

Intelligement?🤭🤣🤣 I'd like Colbert to get as much inflection into "I am Groot" as Diesel.

[@larrybuzbee7344]

A true master of delivery and rebound.

[@GameOfDepth]

Flippy, (Sr.) Thank you for your slider service.

[@peterdykes6499]

SC- nice partial Stefon...Chocolates...Air Pods...Kneeee Socks"

[@edwin2600]

Why doesn't Stephen want to remember his visits to WC? I love WC.

[@robertlisenby7555]

They call him flipper flipper faster than lightning oh no but he's frightening frightening😎😂👍✌️

[@amusicment4829]

Wow Isaiah Sharkey! Love him 💕

[@optimisticgambler3616]

Flippy 1 was fired for tossing salad instead.

[@supernaturalflavor]

Lol more than vin diesel 😅 🤣 OMG... Followed by the moment to think about that series of emotions after eating papa John's. I'm dying!!

[@kimberleyp2892]

Can Kuerig please make that coffee dispenser??!?!?

[@MartynHutchby]

that robot looks like the dad's off Farscape!

[@joshjaffe1796]

Isaiah Sharkey's most recent album Love Is The Key is genius

[@Audrey-ib1qz]

Jon is the best!

[@GameOfDepth]

As a Diabetic Cyborg, the preferred term from outside the community is “Bluetooth American” especially in Canada.

[@SomeShavedSheep]

I’m sorry, we’re just upset that our great ‘publicly funded medical system’ doesn’t pay for CGMs or pumps.

[@randolphphillips3104]

Will never understand why fast food places think they need to give us a dining experience. If I want a dining experience I wouldn't be in the drive through hoping you remember to give me napkins.

[@doclewis8927]

That robot boy face is still in the uncanny valley.

[@treybrzezowski3259]

3:10 Oh great, China made Serpentera. Didn't know Lord Zedd was outsourcing his Zord building to China.

[@DerekHoscorner]

Stephen Colbert cyborgasm robot pooch awesomeness job

[@tsarfox3462]

I like snakes. They're cool as hell. A robot snake sounds friggen awesome!

[@Shorai_3]

I might buy a T-800 coffee maker if it were a thing.

[@martind349]

Good writing

[@DamonBanks142857]

I was kinda hoping for “Machine-while”

[@MonkyDollqueen]

The next chapter of your life is going to be so amazing.💋

[@eniacvig]

Thank you random stranger

[@kiyokowilkinson158]

@@eniacvig , @Molly Dollqueen , both of you have restored my faith in humanity in small ways I have been looking into to make big changes in peoples lives . Thank you for confirming what I have been researching . It helps a lot , after in length searching to see randomly. 👊🏼✌🏽 great job being good humans too to both of you !🏅👏👏👏Thank you and have a wonderful day .

[@theblade9024]

Flippy one was disarmed. Love White Castle. The meal you remember for days.

[@GaudyMarko]

I know it's a bad thing that low level jobs are being replaced by robots but I can't help but feel joy that people no longer have to work in white castle kitchens. It's like when they replaced the children who worked in coal mines with automated machinery.

[@embreis2257]

we'd be lucky if only 'low level' jobs are going to be replaced by the upcoming _4th Industrial Revolution_ . let's hope we solve the energy problem around the same time so humans dont have to worry about life essentials like food and housing any longer and can concentrate of bettering themselves while robots/androids/synthetics do most of the labour

[@obsolete18]

Automation is actually a good thing. It’s only in our backwards system, in which your survival is based on someone letting you labor underneath them, that its a bad thing

[@mycosys]

Its only a bad thing if we let it be. Regulation (3 day week, Universal basic Income, so many options) could make it fantastic. So could revolution. We dont have to make everything for profit of people who already own everything.

[@namehere5675]

@@mycosys I'd like to be optimistic for America, but I see a oligarchy dystopia as more likely than Star Trek. Though, Star Trek happened after a war on earth (if I remember correctly) so who knows. I've become somewhat cynical, but I still have a glimmer of hope.

[@ashkebora7262]

@@embreis2257 Ohhh, if you don't think the CEOs are going to make you pay for the robot produced stuff all the same, you're fooling yourself. Without HUGE reform, this will merely usher in The Gilded Age 3.0.

[@TheKarenKollection]

Lewis has been holding it down.

[@joshbarbour6483]

I've had memorable movements after some White Castle.

[@hfar_in_the_sky]

3:27 That is an...oddly specific answer. The heck was the question?

[@N0B0DYC4RE]

2:35 and then Vin walks in and slaps Stephen😂

[@omarjdiaz]

Sly Stallone’s Judge Dredd predict the remote Store. “Eat recycled food, it’s good the first environment and ok for you.”

[@Dylan-ok6ft]

Every time I see the intro to this bit while drinking my morning coffee, I think maybe my Keurig might be developing feelings for me.