Steven Seagal fights a hurricane (2009) - Episode 11 - Redeye Reviews

Starring: Steven Seagal, a bunch of real people, some criminals
Writers: Real Life, The Streets
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[@jonnycollison]

Yeah Seagal and Van Damme nearly came to blows. Stallone had a party in 97, Van Damme and Seagal were there and JCVD got sick of Seagal trash talking him and asked for a fight outside, Seagal quickly disappeared to a club. Van Damme followed him there and asked for the fight again, Seagal disappeared again.

[@LordVulcan93]

This is one of my favorite Seagull stories along with when Gene Lebell (spelling?) made him shit himself. Van Damme would've demolished Seagull.

[@akuma6446]

You saved me from writing this, lol. Yes I think JVCD would of been able to hit Seagal at will as he wouldn’t of followed instructions on how to run at him and grab for his arm.

[@TheKosmikid]

I have zero doubt that Seagal would kick my ass in a fight with little effort. The same effort that JCVD would use to kick Seagal’s ass. I do love the story of the gentleman that made Seagal crap himself.

[@akuma6446]

@@TheKosmikid after the myth of the one dimensional martial arts master was cracked by the UFC, I think a lot of Average weekend tough guys could easily KO a guy like Seagal. Still remember the pre fight interviews of these 50x black belt grandmasters saying they could blow up anyone with their minds, 😂🤣

[@noz4373]

Lmao eddie compass joke got me good

[@bigbearkat2010]

"I'm not arrogant, I'm just shy." That....sounds like something I'd expect to see in Jaden Smith's Twitter feed in like 2014.

[@xzero422]

The hubris it takes for Steven to act like he did something during Hurricane Katrina. My god.

[@zulie9378]

😂 he just happen to be in the area this guy is the biggest joke to man

[@treywaz]

"Steven so were you a Navy Seal?" ""Nah, man I've been a Navy Whale for about 400 years now. Oh demolition training? I've been a demo man for about 200 years of those 400 so I really know how to blow up the box office, quite literally." - Staevan Seegoeal

[@treywaz]

jeez I comment a lot more on youtube when I'm high as fuck.

[@alexpowers5117]

It’s fun huh I do the same

[@sargonixofur1234]

Steven Seagal was unmoved by Katrina as he is simply so bloated. He has his own weather system and gravity well. Seagal searched the kitchen and took the Twinkies into the custody of his belly.

[@Fanuc_Operator1990]

They say if he had been there he could have simply laid down and his gelatinous body would have filled the hole where the levy broke.

[@samblack727]

😂😂👍 OMG

[@melanisticmandalorian]

If no twinkies were to be found, he ate the pets instead.

[@larshansson1953]

There's something really unsettling about Seagal using his whisper voice to call a kid "baby". Regarding JCVD, iirc Steven pissed off JC and when JC wanted to fight Steven ran away.

[@SuperHellboy85]

The disagreement between Van Damme and Seagal started at a Stallone party. According to Stallone himself, Seagal cursed Van Damme, who was already drunk, and Van Damme called Seagal into a fight. Seagal refused and fled through the kitchen door as they held Van Damme trying to stop the fight. By the time Van Damme made it to the backyard, Segal was gone. Someone said he had gone to a nightclub nearby, Van Damme immediately went to the nightclub screaming for him and when he heard about it, Seagal ran out the back again.

[@jpistolas]

You beat me to the punch! Was not surprised he totally reversed the actual story.

[@10CHUASSASSIN]

Lol that’s the same story all the people at the party and at the club doors told

[@lemuntpicard7482]

He did say that Van Damme would run but not in which direction. Also at the end of the little story, Van Damme then followed Seagal to his hotel to fight him and Steven checked out and canceled a bunch of things he had to do in L.A. What cocaine can make you do!

[@Shaki123]

You tell it like it's fact. However, you have 0 idea what really happened. Nobody does, besides Seagal and JCVD. Both of them are full of shit. They aren't fighters. They are martial artists.

[@realmchat6665]

"I'm not gonna disappear, well unless JCVD shows up calling me out on my bs, then I'm gonezies".

[@JoeR203]

During that whole Vicky White / Casey White escaped convict manhunt, anytime they interviewed Sheriff Mumblemouth, I thought of your Seagal voice.

[@cjohnson5995]

The fact Segal changes his accent to relate to different people is absolutely hilarious the best is when he talks to black people. And it's well known Segal backed down from van damn at Stallones house many celebrities were there and confirmed it.

[@The_Kentuckian]

Redeye is becoming a little saltier with each Seagal review, and I love it. Can't wait till we get to the episode where Seagal runs a battering ram through a dude's house.

[@Axolotl_Mischief]

Oh please god tell me that actually happened...🤞

[@dredd1981]

Has that ever been released? I waited with anticipation for season 3 but as far as I know it was filmed but has never been released :(

[@The_Kentuckian]

@@dredd1981 Maybe it wasn't, but I hope it was. I remember hearing about it on The Soup back in the day. That's how I followed this show.

[@dredd1981]

@@The_Kentuckian Yeah i think it was in Arizona, they thought they were breaking up an illegal cock fighting ring but all they di was drive a tank through this dudes gate and kill his dog in the process. Don't think any charges were filed against the chicken guy....dude was lucky Seagal didn't take him to the blood bank!

[@akuma6446]

@@Axolotl_Mischief Unfortunately it was the wrong house and a dog was killed. “Allegedly”

[@wimvanderstraeten6521]

Van Damme is still in good shape. The same thing can't be said about Seagal.

[@no1uknugamingchannel]

Well technically he's "A" shape 😂

[@TheRoland19111]

A circle is a shape

[@arnold8746]

It's pronounced seagull.

[@docwho2828]

Steven has a fighting style to suit every possible body type.

[@codiak2680]

The only way I can see Seagal "squashing JCVD like an ant" given his current physical state, would be if he tripped and fell on Van Damme but then Seagal would have to actually get up and move around.🤣

[@ripeager9338]

Is it just me or does Seagal give off major officer doofy vibes from scary movie, like they just gave him a toy badge to use

[@Axolotl_Mischief]

No, that's pretty obvious to everyone.

[@MichaelMartin-qe5ye]

Much like Doofy, Seagal also demands privacy when vacuuming.

[@manos7469]

That Wendy's callback was golden. As a practitioner of youtube for over 40 years I approve.

[@ksjazzguitaryt]

JCVD is still in shape. He'd probably just annihilate Steven. As long he was fast enough he'd be OK. If Steven got a hold of him, then he'd be in trouble, but he's probably fast enough and Steven is so slow at this point with shot reflexes that it probably wouldn't happen.

[@lemuntpicard7482]

If steven got the drop on JCVD with a piece of rebar I think Jean-Claude still would have the upper hand. You know that Steven never won any legit martial art awards. His "Japanese dojo" was a scam school that pretended they would never put up their student in any competitions because "they're way too lethal for sportsmanship."

[@ksjazzguitaryt]

@@lemuntpicard7482 I don't know, I think SS was legit, as legit as you can be with aikido, etc. In his Above the Law days I wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley. And he could ptobably still do some damage if he got a hold of you. But he's so bloated and slow now that would be easy to avoid.

[@lemuntpicard7482]

@@ksjazzguitaryt He was always a fraud. The whole schtick of his alleged martial art school was to advertise as badasses and never get tested in real conditions. Always among themselves in a controlled environment because "it would be too dangerous for other masters". Check out an interview with Daniel Bernhardt, a real master of its form, from the 90' who explained what a fricking sham was Seagal's alleged Dojo.

[@tubbalcain]

JCVD won't be in trouble with this fool.. Never, ever..

[@mattymaple1976]

When u find a box that got 20 bucks in loose 5s and 1s, but decide to slide a few fake 100s in there to make the shot look better.

[@TheSeppentoni]

This guy is the only man on the planet who has seen every damn Seagal film. I hope he does his PhD in Seagalism

[@adamritchie6434]

I bet he went straight from the dojo to the strip club and said, "I'm Steven Seagal, I'm not impotent like all those women say, I'm just shy like you"

[@hevmetalfan3855]

HAHA That opening scene, Seagal acting like he is actually teaching that guy something.

[@Jonas-jq5xl]

Your Seagal impression sounds like a grown up Eric Cartman, which makes it perfection.

[@destructoau7526]

It may sound bad, but I wish there was more of this show. You crack me up!

[@WordUnheard]

Officer Whimpers runs as if he's in a dream within a dream.

[@MuttonfudgeRacing]

Top of the Hi-yaas to everyone. Oh and the Seagal vs Van Damme thing. Seagal challenged Van Damme once and when JCVD showed to fight Seagal.Seagal wasn't there.

[@megatronjenkins2473]

Another excellent episode, lol! I'd pay money to watch Seagull run away from JCVD🤣🤣🤣I'm gonna need that new shirt, too!

[@joootooobboosheet2486]

That Archer clip at the end was the icing on the cake that is Redeye Reviews of Steven Seagal!!!! Love this channel.

[@connordunckel8544]

Basically what everyone said about the Stallone party, some people have said Seagal moreso declined to fight as it was pointless and others say he booked it so who really knows. In their prime A fight might of been close and would’ve looked amazing on film but the edge is going to the guy who kicks 8 feet in the air over the dude who’s really good at flipping people over

[@sargonixofur1234]

Van Damme v Seagal… The “Muscles from Brussels” vs. “The Fat-man from Michigan”.

[@LABOUMDECADANCE]

Lol.. Grandmaster Seagull enters the dojo. Hee haw 😂

[@donculotta1551]

"He shot the rain back up into the sky." 🤣 🤣

[@nilocnaughton]

i saw an interview with JCVD, he said that after shooting one of the expendable movies. everyone was at stallones house in miami. seagal said something that really pissed off jcvd so he went outside to fight seagal. JCVD waited two hours outside and seagal never came out to fight.

[@ItsNotaTuhmah]

It was around 1995.

[@jturnbow71]

I know I've complimented your impression of sinsae Seagal in the past, but I have to say, no matter how bad life gets, hearing it makes me laugh and makes me so happy. Thank you sir 👏

[@Patrick-ud3vu]

Some say laughter is the best medicine. Others say it’s Sensei Seagal. But we can all agree, never take any medicine from Steven Seagal!

[@adityavijay2497]

Congratulations 🎊 on the wedding

[@zombieparrot2606]

Your impression of SS as a South Park character is one of the funniest things I e heard in a while. This time when I write “lol” I’m telling the truth.

[@herbaldragon7646]

At our Dojo in spokane we had instructors who knew Mike Stone and Bill Shaw, they did alot of stunt work in 80-90's martial arts movies, word was VD smoked cigars like crazy, i don't see him doing much better than SS anymore hehe

[@Maj_Problem]

Welcome back from the Wedding/Honeymoon Redeye, hope you and Redwife had a great time

[@finesseKLD.]

Bro your Steven impression is spot on 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@RedEyeReviews]

Lol thank you friend. It's ALL in the jowls

[@walcodebruyn2135]

Another great Video like always, Can't get over your perfect Steven Segal voice impression it's Comedic gold 😂 😂..

[@davidfausel9029]

Just what I needed today. First off - I think I played the first second of the video 20 times in a row - and I think I have a new ring tone. 3:50 to 3:55 - MASTERFUL Seagal impression :-). The lack of them ever doing anything substantial is this show is mindboggling.......... almost as mindboggling as Seagal "comforting" those kids...... Whelp - guess the kids over in Russian need him more nowadays! lol

[@pigeonpoo1823]

if it was a toss up between making the Seagull or Officer Doofy a deputy, I'd sign up Doofy

[@DwarfElvishDiplomacy]

Honestly the "i stare into the shadows" line was also shirtworthy

[@DrMurdercock]

lmao the first second of this video had my dying already. lol When you do the Mumble Seagal voice, i lose it lol

[@whackrapperlocator]

I’ve been binging these vids for a week. Thank you for your service.

[@curezilla]

I was moving from Seattle to Slidell the week Katrina hit. We waited it out in Kansas. The office I was supposed to work in and the house I was going to rent were both destroyed. Luckily, I dodged all of that.

[@vitamc1213]

"Where da weed at in da back?" 🤣

[@tangoblue]

“Do you like karate?” 🤣

[@DEADxBABIESxINC]

Yay! Welcome back Redeye and congratulations on the wedding 🤠

[@kryptism]

Thanks! Never get tired of these!👍😜

[@ashwadhwani]

No I am not shy, I am arrogant. How dare you call me shy, you wicked Seagal

[@brendancronin3796]

I lived next door to segal in the mid 80s and I got on well with him at first but then he starting borrowing stuff and not returning them .First it was some step ladders and the fat fuck avoided me , then he asks my wife to borrow the carpet cleaner and when I noticed the carpet cleaner wasn't there I asked my wife and she said " oh Steven borrowed it " ...I won't lie I exploded and said " Jesus Susan he's still got our step ladders , the man doesn't deserve clean carpets " Needless to say I went straight to his door and he had this weird sounding doorbell ( really creepy ) and he fucking ignored me .I could see him through the frosted glass and I shouted through the letterbox " You've just had success with ' hard to kill ' whilst I'm working my ass of in a canned meat factory , your a fucking cheapskate" I never got my stuff back cos he moved and took them with him . It really put me off him

[@JamesMMcCann]

Seagal vs JCVD? Ask Stallone.....

[@MarioSratss]

We don't see Seagal fighting the storm, but I'm sure he is a hero 😂 We don't see him train the kids, but he is truly a grand master. 😅 A fight between Van Damme and Steven would be awesome 😁 „I'm not arrogant, I'm shy” is the best line 😂

[@sepollcas]

"1 crrrrack, 2 crrrrack, 3 crrrrack...!" 🧛🤣

[@boomstickcritique902]

Man, this is a lot of frigging Segal to review lol. I'm proud of your commitment.

[@TwinkieCakey]

11:19 I'm incredibly surprised by the fact that our Grand Master Aikido Totally Not Demented Steven Seagal did not ask him "Do you know what that is?" for every single item in that very room. Very well done, Mr- Seagal. for once, you did not dissapoint.

[@ytndndrummer]

Seagal would look like a dad trying to kick a trash can and waving his hands while Jean-Claude would hook kick him in the face and pummel him after Seagal rolls to the ground like an egg. You're Seagal voice could use a little more labored breathing, like you can't catch your breath under the crushing weight of your stomach but, perhaps, that could sound a little too much like Brando in The Godfather.

[@stonedpaladin8632]

My brother went vegan for 6 months eating nothing but potatoes and fruit salads. He went back after his dad was grilling and the fumes of 20oz ribeyes filled the house. He maybe weighed 130lb.

[@acikawu-tang5178]

When I'm laughing 3sec in to the video I know it's gonna be great as always... I would watch a whole video with you talking like "Steven". LMFAO hahahaha

[@gonzo26nix]

"I'm not arrogant.. I'm just shy. I've been the most shy person for 77 yrs. I'm the best at being shy, I'm the greatest at being shy. Oh, snap?! is that Van Damme? I gotta go.."

[@LordVulcan93]

Steven Seagal is a monster.

[@henryrmarliniii8360]

Seagal: I remember this one women, who was named Katrina. She broke my heart, so the instant I heard about this other Katrina. I stepped in, and did my famous bullshito. Aikido has saved my life a few times, from sexual harassment charges. To assaulting people on movie sets, ask Jon Leguizamo. How it felt, to get karate chopped to the chest. Or whatever fake thing I did

[@edgy85]

😂😂😂 Awesome as always 👏🏻

[@johntheexplainer]

"Some people call me arrogant... some people call me the Space Cowboy... some people call me Maur-eece..."

[@streetdog_named_saul]

Thank you - I needed this lmao

[@nebfreely317]

Nice! You're back! I've been having some Redeye withdrawals... Congrats on your marriage Broseph! And your Seagal accent is top notch 👌 👏 👍

[@lrlong1285]

😂 “an afternoon’s worth of weed”

[@jacobbronitsky1448]

I freaking love that impression! It's just too good.

[@clintholmes2061]

I've never clicked on something so fast. I can't wait to see how seagal kicks a hurricane's arce.

[@DocM.]

I love watching Seagal's ego get shit on 🤣

[@DieselMcBadass1]

Glad to have you back, hope the honeymoon was awesome!

[@Child_Of_Whoa]

Turnip truck ? Did Steve Seagal just quote a line out of a movie staring Steven Seagal 🤯 Magnificent 😅

[@johndye3122]

Glad you are back 👍

[@derryckanthony]

you've became my favorite reviewer, great job

[@gekokapowco]

Congrats on the marriage RedEye! I hope you and your spouse love each other to at least a fraction of the degree that I love your videos!

[@ando8262]

that first second caught me of guard lol. now its gonna be my new notification tone

[@originalzo6091]

He shot all the rain back into the sky ... I'm dead

[@feck2594]

Every time you make a new video it brings a smile to my face . I enjoy you're content. Keep up you're master class of great work my friend.

[@gazl7356]

Probably your best one yet man. And Jean Claude actually competed in point fighting karate and some full contact karate. Whilst Esteban is all rehearsed because it's ikeado

[@adiahaalexander9359]

Jshom Clom Vlom Dom🤣🤣🤣🤣 Wtf did he just say?😂😂⚰⚰

[@Mutantgamer]

How does Seagal decide when to use his piss coloured glasses? Sometimes he wears them riding cars, then takes them off when busting into houses, sometimes keeps them on. Then other times he doesn't use them at all.

[@abango645]

We Steven is the second worst thing to happen to Louisiana

[@WanArk86]

JCVD definetly can kick his ass and I believe has a better front kick then Seagals. Again, congrats on tying the knot man. Edit: I've didn't notice his quote about turnip truck at the react segment cause he whispers all his lines and that part was really hard to hear

[@Obergruppenf]

Van Damme is good but he has no chance against Master Seagal.

[@joseph2219801]

The old weed in the shoe box, we went from crime drama to comedy.

[@marcuswalters8093]

Welcome back! Congratulations again!

[@ProjectFlashlight612]

To this day, Seagal believes NARC stands for Noodles And Roast Chicken.

[@cargo_vroom9729]

Van Damme looks like he keeps in pretty damn good shape to this day. Seagal has a lot of weight on him, but he uhh also has a lot of extra weight. Van Damme trained in several of the practical styles that work well in MMA. Seagal trained in Akido, one of the traditional ones more concerned with style and philosophy than if it actually wins fights. Clearly the odds are with Van Damme in a fight.

[@Midnight.in.broad.daylight]

Glad to have you back bro. Everything's cool baby everything spongbob !!🤣🤣

[@clintholmes2061]

Who would win in a fight between seagal and JCVD? The public watching it.

[@jordandaniels1381]

Come on man!!! Seagal is just directly asking for crack ‘for a friend’!

[@smokeybanjoboy]

Now this wasn't Van Damme, but someone else was challenged by Seagal to choke him out. Seagal boasted that no one could choke him out, and challenged this person. They proceeded to not only choke Seagal out, but Seagal also pissed himself. The more you know.

[@YakAttack915]

Chili from Wendy's. That's an order! LMFAO

[@PeteFiftyeight]

(walks up scratching arms with shifty eyes) Yo, man you got any more of that cheese?

[@DominicJacksonFilm]

Dude ur on fire in this one 🤣

[@kitbradley2689]

As to who would win in a fight... JVCD, easily. He has an actual kickboxing record is 18-1 with 18 KOs. And the Belgian kickboxing scene is no joke. As far as I've heard, Seagal has never fought anyone that could fight back. Picking fights with John Leguiziamo doesn't feel particularly legit.

[@Obergruppenf]

Van Damme is good but he has no chance against Master Seagal.

[@kitbradley2689]

@@Obergruppenf Is there a vestige of proof that Seagal can beat a trained and resisting opponent? But for a guy that talks a big game, I've never heard of Seagal being in a fight against a competent opponent. I've looked! The closest I can find is that time he got choked out by Gene LeBell.

[@Obergruppenf]

@@kitbradley2689 Seagal has said he avoids all confrontations if there is a possibility to peace. He is a man of peace.

[@kitbradley2689]

@@Obergruppenf He avoids confrontations in the Buddhist way of bragging that he can beat people up! Anyway, so you're essentially admitting he can't fight. You know that, right? There are no masters at kicking ass that don't fight. That's a fantasy.

[@psychowrath8158]

Steven Seagal stopped a kids karate class to arrogantly tell them that he isn't arrogant.

[@garyhall7867]

That crack looked like popcorn. Maybe that's some high grade Loosiana rocks, but being from Baltimore, I've seen more of that than I'd like to admit, and I've never seen anything that looks like that

[@headdeath5975]

Heyy! Welcome back my man.

[@jamesgrosiak3406]

So I took a break from these reviews for a bit... But I'm back to binge and I am just so excited that the Seagal voice has only gotten more incredible and harder to understand.

[@Fusterclucked00]

His fake New Orleans accident is so annoying. He was born in Michigan and moved to LA as a kid. He then lived in Japan for a few years before coming back to LA and getting into movies. At no point was he ever in a living situation where he would have picked up that accent. And it always changes depending on the race of the person he's speaking to. He's such a clown.

[@Madmax-rz5hz]

"Take em down " then cut immediately to him taking someone down...the fire escape stairs