Steven Seagal has to be joking. He barely moves in this | So Bad It's Good #84 - Cartels

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[@JasonBrant]

Get Surfshark VPN at surfshark.deals/BRANT - Enter promo code BRANT for 83% off + 3 extra months free & Antivirus FREE!

[@johndillermand4053]

You're sponsored, it's official, you're about to blow up and I'm all for it

[@JasonBrant]

Let's hope!

[@scopedog9197]

Mommy has nice big legs for the commercial...mmmmhmmmm

[@JasonBrant]

WIll do, thanks!

[@classyredneckcinema9327]

@@JasonBrant hey I think u guys might laugh ur butts off on belly of the beast it's litterly the most ridiculous segsl film ever made he litterly starts out doing a superman pose on a bag thing and they just use stunt doubles constitently doing back flip kicks jumping kicks making people fly it's dumb and u get decent martial arts because Byron Mann is in it

[@megabsupreme]

Wow. Steven Seagal just gets bigger and bigger, he forces his attentions on scantily clad women, everyone treats him like he's dangerous despite his inability to move off a chair or reach behind himself, and his speech is unintelligible to human beings. Seems he's slowly morphing into Jabba the Hut.

[@JasonBrant]

He's approaching Orson Welles proportions.

[@Neville60001]

@@JasonBrant, but with _none_ of Welles' talent.

[@brianweatherman1207]

Don't talk about Jabba that way! He deserves more respect than that.

[@KaaneDragonShinobi]

And is also involved with organized crime, don't forget that

[@thomasmccabe1859]

@@JasonBrant He’s becoming a farrago of Orson. A Welles farrago.

[@angiadcock8196]

“He SOUNDS fat,” is my favorite descriptor for Steven Seagal all time. 😂

[@stephenbachman132]

There is only 3 things a Steven Segal movie needs. 1. Opening scene at a Strip Club where all the girls love Steven Segal. 2. Everyone complements Steven on how great he is at everything. 3. Steven Segal in 1 action scene

[@cade377]

I think his action sequence in this one was getting up from the table. To be fair though, I haven't watched the whole video.

[@MrJdsenior]

@@cade377 I'll fill you in, he sat down once. Full disclosure, I couldn't get through but a few minutes of this. The guys were OK, but watching Stevie Seagul...can't do it.

[@backupnoname]

That would be the best Duke Nukem parody

[@stevehyperdriver]

By “action” I assume you mean he gets out of a chair

[@CutlassOutdoors]

I’m a colonel in the DEA Army, stationed in Romania. And in all honesty, I’m also a double agent for two cartels, because it makes just as much sense as the rest of my life.

[@cvspvr]

the dea army? so that's who's fighting the war on drugs

[@billymania11]

And I get all the chicks too.

[@timdavidson8191]

​@@cvspvrbut aren't drugs winning?

[@ddg9952]

Seagal's dedication to his craft is on the level of Matt Damon, Charlize Theron, Chris Helmsworth, etc. He put on 50 lbs for his roles, but unlike those pussies, he keeps it on. I hereby nominate him for the Golden Glob!

[@JasonBrant]

He stays in character year round.

[@JDelwynn]

When a good actor puts on weight for a role, Seagal puts on weight for every role and doesn't lose it, because Steven Seagal never loses!

[@killtyrant]

@@JasonBrant Round. Got it.

[@brianlujan7089]

and he doesn't maintain the 50...he adds ANOTHER 50lbs each time

[@jonathanallard2128]

And in Sniper Special Ops he passed all the courses and boot camp to become an ACTUAL Gravy Seal.

[@Timmichanga361]

Every line of dialogue Seagal delivers like it's his last breath....Like no one has told him to take a breath before he starts talking

[@JasonBrant]

🤣 🤣

[@ddg9952]

I dont know what the hell he's going for with that voice and line delivery, but with that belly, this is one of the best Brado impersonations i have ever seen!

[@thefatman69dude]

that's just how he breathes. lol

[@TruOnyxfire]

Hey! Lay off Steven! I'd like to see YOU say lines with a mouth full of food and your cheeks stuff full like a chipmunk hoarding nuts.

[@johnbrennan592]

He must be pushing four bills by now

[@lukemarshall1260]

I don't think he's given up on acting, he just thinks his slow mumbling is badass. Delusion is a hell of a thing.

[@DJPebs522]

In the Seagal Cinematic Universe, DEA stands for "Drug Enforcement Army". That might help clear up some confusion.

[@lukewright9031]

😂😂

[@chrisingram9798]

For the record- gsp didn’t knock Sensei Segal down with that punch. He actually knocked Segals snack pack pudding out of his hand and the Sensei fell down trying to protect his pudding pack.

[@JasonBrant]

Nice 🤣

[@werewolf74]

LOL

[@cade377]

That's much more plausible. Thanks for clearing that up!!!

[@EmlynBoyle]

Honestly, your Seagal content alone is more entertaining than Sensei Penguin's entire crapography. Good one guys.

[@anthonythanghe4755]

“Sensei Penguin “ I fucking lost it at that.

[@JasonBrant]

Much appreciated. Doesn't take a lot of effort to be more entertaining than Sifu.

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

@@anthonythanghe4755 WADDLE

[@ArtVandelayOfficial]

If any of you dweebs met him you'd swallow your tongue with nerves Wouldn't say anything like your comments here

[@wingerding]

There's a couple decent ones.

[@petesancer9317]

As a Major Colonel Army DEA Sgt Commander, I appreciate this movie’s accuracy with ranks.

[@boydcochran4692]

Thank you for your service lol

[@Brad-lt2re]

Thanks for your service in the zombie wars

[@achillesikillyezz8604]

lmao

[@adepja]

As a Colonel Captain CIA Marine Seal paratrooper I agree

[@joenoble5469]

As a Private Master Sgt Chief of operations Navy air force Captain of the DEA I agree also.

[@Parallelwurlds]

As a 97 year old lieutenant colonel in the army DEA I appreciate this movie’s accuracy

[@billm8958]

I can't believe I'm going to answer this question seriously - but here goes. The DEA is a stand-alone agency. They might work in coordination with the army - but they would wear one uniform or the other, they wouldn't wear both like that. There is something called DEA "FAST" but again - one uniform or the other. This is also way more thought that Segal put into this. I regret all the decisions in my life that lead me to watching this movie.

[@JasonBrant]

Thanks for the info.

[@not-a-bot]

I came to the comments for this comment 👏

[@sasavulic1236]

or maybe "writers"got confused and mixed up DEA drug enforcement administration,with DIA defense intelligence agency,US military's version of CIA.

[@joquin4618]

lol 😝

[@dbs311]

And to answer another question asked earlier in the review, with the DEA being a non-DoD federal agency, they do not use any DoD Officer/Enlisted nomenclature for position/rank. More than likely, in this context, the "DEA" agents would be 1811 (Special Agents) and would follow the typical movie format of calling each other "Special Agent".

[@Weirlive]

I can't wait for a Segal movie where he isn't even on screen.. they have him on a zoom call as the expert

[@JasonBrant]

That has to be his next role.

[@andrewmccormack4295]

Or,they organize a zoom call and forget to make the connection with him...

[@Nico42048]

And he somehow still kicks all the ass and saves the day. He really stopped caring completely after what, Glimmer Man ? On deadly ground ?

[@MarekGodzimirski]

@@JasonBrant next movie he should fight diabetes.

[@coolingindaboot6853]

@@andrewmccormack4295 or just a regular phone call but the service gets cut before segal answers

[@n1kolodian]

"He just sounds fat!" That one got me LMAO.

[@lambda3374]

Seagal has become a real life South Park character

[@breadmeister]

I'm always surprised at how Seagal can naturally talk in slow motion.

[@JasonBrant]

It's almost impressive.

[@R0gueM]

@@JasonBrant almost as impressive as it is painful. That’s pretty impressive.

[@Lemminjoose]

As much pity as I feel for you guys having to sit through these, I love Seagal Sundays. Your pain brings us all immense joy. Thanks guys.

[@JasonBrant]

Thanks. I guess.

[@Lemminjoose]

@@JasonBrant Any time!

[@B1az1ngSuN]

@@JasonBrant lol

[@seanmorrow3903]

Well said these segal vids are great jason

[@abnerbipps9255]

It's really impressive they found a maternity style plate carrier for him in this one.

[@aloofsive1140]

Hahaha

[@ltee1233]

I love how there whole commentary is “I have no clue what’s going on” really sums up segals whole career

[@tschak909]

Thanks to all these Seagal movies, I'm waddling around the house mumbling in his voice.

[@JasonBrant]

🤣

[@FlyboyHelosim]

I do that when I need to take a dump.

[@darthchowder2023]

ThhhHhaatss...s.*deep breath*.s..wwhwhhaat Im talkkkkin brooothhaa..

[@CowboysCreed]

I’m starting to think Steven Seagal may be the world’s greatest troll.

[@JasonBrant]

Imagine if this was all a troll. It would be masterful.

[@robertflores7819]

That’s like Andy Kaufman levels of troll.

[@Clemppu]

Well he definitely fits the physical size of a massive troll...

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

He's fat like a River Troll Hag.

[@jesusgarcia1145]

A cave troll from the looks of it.

[@pronubcentral]

"I was not born on a turnip truck and I was not born at night" That line killed me the most. It's I didn't just FALL OFF the turnip truck!!! I was born at night but not LAST night!!!!! Screw you Steven Segal!!!!

[@TheDjcobra2001]

He's not fat, he's gravitationally challenged.

[@MrJdsenior]

He's EVERYTHING challenged.

[@Blutteufel]

A few years ago, Seagal finally lost the last vestiges of control over his ego and claimed that he could whomp JCVD. That would be like a sponge vs. a nuclear bomb.

[@JasonBrant]

He beats GSP in this, which is hysterical.

[@megatronjenkins2473]

@@JasonBrant lol, but that's scripted!

[@alucard624]

JCVD could mop the floor with Seagal's candy ass. Seriously, that would be the quickest fight in history.

[@Clemppu]

Anything is possible! Sifu could probably absorb any hit with his huge organic mass and just direct the kinetic energy back. That's the aim of Aikido, right? 😆

[@jkdbuck7670]

Seagal vs JCVD LOL. Before the fight, JCVD takes a bump of coke. Seagal takes a bump of shortening.

[@ryantune3325]

According to IMDB, George ST. Pierre was not paid to be in this movie with money. In exchange for his performance, GSP wanted Steven Seagal to teach him the same secret front kick that Steven taught to Anderson Silva. Makes sense, really. As an actor, you couldn't pay me to be in one of Seagull's movies either.

[@JCIce007]

Wouldn't it be easier to just study footage Silva doing the kick and copy him? It's not like there's magic words or secret chi powers involved...or is there?

[@MrDiggityaus]

5:38 GSP doesn’t seem to be wearing glasses. Do you think they only had one set of glasses and the actors shared them haha 😂 😂

[@Mindfuel777]

Bobby Weisau has his own continuity in the Seagal-verse

[@darkzer0670]

I was in the Army and no, the DEA is a completely separate federal agency so there's no way they would be wearing shirts with the stripes.

[@JasonBrant]

Are you suggesting this movie is incompetent?

[@peterv1318]

Exactly. But sometimes they work with army in war zones. Army is more for showing them the area and backup.

[@PRC533]

@@peterv1318 They also call themselves marshals because fuck it why not.

[@peterv1318]

@@PRC533 DEA is it’s own agency. Marshals are their own agency. The badge they have on this show are marshal badges not DEA.

[@PRC533]

@@peterv1318 I know that, I was making fun of the movie. The majority of the USMS is staffed with Deputy United States Marshals (DUSM), the actual Marshals are the ones who run entire regions. So the common mistake of just saying marshal shows their ignorance. That and the fact that a deputy's badge is silver while a Marshal's is gold. Also, USMS is a plain clothes agency unless they are on a warrant op or doing prisoner transport. Nobody wears badges all over their clothes like that, especially not on a protective detail. I could nitpick this all day because I was a DUSM, but these are just the most glaring issues.

[@DansBuddhaBodega]

"He shot the guy with the family" " I don't care about that shit" Happy Father's day everyone!!!!!

[@JasonBrant]

Happy Father's Day!

[@samueltheprideofafrikarobi9319]

Luke Goss made a legitimately solid "hired killer" movie in 2012 called Interview with a Hitman. And if you're at all familiar with video game movies, then I can tell you that the film was the best Hitman (Agent 47) movie that wasn't officially a Hitman movie. Goss looked, acted and moved the way a real Agent 47 would. His suit even resembled the video game icon's suit. If they'd given him a red tie and a barcode on the back of his head, it would have been perfect.

[@meisterproper8304]

I didn't knew this existed

[@samueltheprideofafrikarobi9319]

@@meisterproper8304 You should definitely check it out friend. It's a more quiet and contemplative film than actiony. But when the action does happen, he's 100% Agent 47....but not. LOL.

[@meisterproper8304]

@@samueltheprideofafrikarobi9319 I found it on Amazon prime but only in german. Maybe a vpn could work. I hate how Amazons always cheaps out on language licenses

[@samueltheprideofafrikarobi9319]

@@meisterproper8304 Yeah, I've never been the biggest fan of streaming for reasons exactly like that. Lack of language options, the ability for the streaming service to drop movies from circulation for a bunch of different reasons, the fact that you never truly own anything digitally. But that's neither here nor there I suppose. I have the physical DVD that I picked up quite a few years ago. I don't remember how much I paid for it, but I know it was fairly inexpensive. I'm hesitant to suggest grabbing it off of Amazon or eBay because even if it is cheap, I wouldn't want you to invest money on a gamble.

[@bencooper6983]

I've been an MMA fan for nearly 20 years and GSP is my fave fighter, to see him in this movie and get his ass kicked by the human draft excluder to that extent was upsetting to me

[@alexandermccarthy]

It's a huge door that needs Sensei Penguin as a draft excluder! I'm thinking a medieval castle, perhaps.

[@nicolec7290]

I agree. Is acting is terrible. It can’t be that hard to say a short line like ( we have to go. )

[@MarieAntoinetteandherlittlesis]

Same. GSP was actually good in Captain America- I wonder how he got here? I bet his agent owed somebody a favor and the agent is like “please do it, please. I’ll make sure you get a good payday.” And he payed off his favor by having GSP do this shitty movie. I keep telling myself that.

[@josephhubisz8610]

Draft excluder - Karl Pilkington

[@coltbusick6644]

I literally jumped out of my chair when Sifu got hit. I hope GSP didn’t hurt his hand punching that solid wall of steel and honor 🥺

[@JasonBrant]

Probably punched off the spray tan.

[@JCIce007]

@@JasonBrant he tans with an air of confidence rarely seen in this day and age.

[@thomasdehetre300]

When you said someone got you all a Steven Segal shirt I literally assumed it was one Segal size shirt that all of you could fit in at the same time

[@JasonBrant]

I'd be down with that 🤣

[@jimmypenrose1401]

Steven Seagal never jokes. He may not be moving much on-screen; but he was faster than Usain Bolt at the craft services table. Those donuts never stood a chance!

[@robertmcallister4688]

Your videos are like watching myself & my friends 30-ish years ago. Someone would rent the worst movie available, then after work we'd congregate at someone's place to drink/smoke/whatever and roast Segal, cheer on Troma anti-heroes, laugh at no-budget 80s horror... I love it. Helps fill the insomnia void.

[@jamie.777]

Ever watch "combat shock " 😲 . 😂it's a troma film about a Vietnam vets with a mutant "agent orange" baby. The Vietnam Jungle flash back scenes were filmed in New Jersey, I believe we see 😅some foliage 😂.

[@foolwriter]

I've always respected Luke Goss as a working man's action star, and for solid work with Guillermo Del Toro (Blade 2 & Hellboy 2). It's kind of a shame to see him carrying Segal, but somebody's gotta do it.

[@Varnicus]

Rumour has it most of the film's budget went to a good back brace for Luke to carry Seagal.

[@DiscoFinalBoss]

R.I.P. to his back. Carrying sensei penguin as a commenter so nicely put it can’t be healthy for anyone.

[@JasonBrant]

As long as the check clears, I guess.

[@megabsupreme]

Luke is so underappreciated. The Blade & Hellboy sequels really showcased his value as an action movie sympathetic villain.

[@glencurtis6052]

I can't watch Luke Goss and not see him as a singer in an 80s boy band in the UK 🤣

[@archer1949]

26:14. I like how Seagal magically lost 200 pounds while falling. I guess it would have been awkward to broach the subject of extra padding on the stunt double to match the previous shot.

[@923crono]

If Seagal actually fell, it would have caused an earthquake beyond all form of reality

[@SephirothPhenyx]

"I don't know what is illegal in Romania. Nothing?" - Jason Brant LMAOOOOOOO Bro, Ï just walked into my home from the coffee shop and had this playing in the background. Ï stepped foot into my home to this. HAHAHAHAHAHA you fellas are amazing, thank you so much for the genuine good times and laughs. Ï hope more success, happiness, prosperity, good health and all that good shit finds you all. Cheers

[@newera3757]

How dare you? Sansei Steven Seagul and his mastering of ancient art of bullshido are legendary.

[@eduardodiaz9942]

As always, Sifu Seagal steals every scene he's in. He's so rotund he's the only thing you can see. Also, I need to check the astral chart of the date when the scene where Seagal gets hit was shot. Pretty sure you need the planets to align for that to happen.

[@JasonBrant]

🤣 A celestial event definitely occured during that moment.

[@vineethonkan]

I've noticed that guys like this have such a complex about them that they cannot film themselves getting hurt. I've seen it in all of Michael jai whites movies as well.

[@marciwhitton6351]

Sifuud Seagal.

[@BenetteG]

@@marciwhitton6351 sea food?

[@davidmullen6011]

I noted that Seagal's glasses didn't even leave his face...

[@DansBuddhaBodega]

Just found out Steven Segal threw himself a big birthday party in Russia. In march.... and invited nearly all of the oligarchs the world has placed sanctions on. It makes watching you guys tear him apart, and laugh at the joke that is master fat ass that much sweeter. He stopped caring after glimmer man. Keep up the good work!!!!

[@JasonBrant]

Thanks! Was Glimmer Man the turning point?

[@Rich77UK]

You have got to br kidding. Wasn't it proven he is as Russian as Joseph Stalin? (Who was Georgian not Russian).

[@robotrix]

@@Rich77UK He helps them launder money and he's a movie star. They don't care if he's Martian.

[@williamnantz5604]

@@JasonBrant I think so, too. Glimmer Man was a pretty fun movie...... no question, his last

[@Valkris84KT]

Glimmer Man was the start of all black clothes and voice Seagal. Barely threw a punch and mostly shot ppl. Than in Exit Wounds was the start of Pure Leather Coat Seagal and probably the last watchable film with a decent supporting cast

[@ALAH13]

He walks with an aire of confidence rarely see in this day and age.

[@karldicker1702]

That's what's i always thought was cool about him many years ago.

[@roringusanda2837]

He literally waddles around like a penguin...an overweight penguin with bad knees and a few fused spinal vertebrae...

[@dullahan7677]

From the thumbnail it looks like Seagal is trying to smuggle in a few kilos of product, himself. Gives a whole new meaning to the term "plate carrier".

[@Jon-ld3jl]

based on his track record of truthfulness, the only thing i can say for certain after watching this movie is that Steven Segal was in fact born at night, on turnip truck, and not in michigan, or moscow, or saigon, or a Cherokee reservation, or any of the million other places he claims to be from.

[@butkusfan23]

I know his performances have gone downhill for a solid 20 years now, but at this point, Segal can hardly even sit up on his own. It’s almost like he has to be propped up with sticks and someone pulls his strings to make his mouth move so he can mumble his lines. He seriously sits there like Pizza the Hut from Spaceballs. What a turd. Thanks for the hilarious vid guys 😂

[@JasonBrant]

Pizza the Hut 🤣

[@TheJoker-jk4dp]

@@JasonBrant Seagal does get beat up in a movie that he did with Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson knocks out Seagal with a punch. I believe the movie is called “Chinese Salesman”. You should do a review on that movie.

[@JCIce007]

@@TheJoker-jk4dp guarantee they filmed the end of that fight without Seagal on set. And I would bet without him even seeing the defeat in his script.

[@TheJoker-jk4dp]

@@JCIce007 I don’t know about the script but there was a double for Seagal when Mike Tyson knocks him out. Also keep in mind Seagal has had stunt guys doubling for him even when he wins a fight in his movies. He even had a double when he was just standing in a scene. He’s been doing that several years now. Either way I’m sure he didn’t like it that Mike Tyson beat him in that fight scene. I’m pretty sure he knows about that now. Seagal is a joke. He should just retire already.

[@tobiasrieper8360]

@@TheJoker-jk4dp My theory is that Seagal made sure the stuntman took the hit just in case Tyson actually connected and decapitated him.

[@samuelbrown3405]

You guys referring to Seagal as Sifu made me laugh way harder than it should have

[@froggygirl329]

I'm thinking it's time these guys spoke to a lawyer about compensation for the pain and suffering they endured from Steven Seagal.

[@robertflint4115]

I was having a bad day and just found out my wife was sleeping with best friend and wants a divorce, my truck has a flat, my dog "Rocko' died last night, and only beer in fridge is stupid Heineken NA. Hopped on youtube to watch some "Brazilian wax" demonstration videos ; ) and stumbled (or should I say - "waddled") across your video's and you guys (and gal) rock. Your "Seagalisms" are epic. So thank you for that little ray of sunshine on this cloudy day. Rock on !!!!

[@megatronjenkins2473]

Dude, your life is a country song.

[@JasonBrant]

You're welcome. I hope none of what you just said is true.

[@robertflint4115]

@@JasonBrant 25 years ago my ex did sleep with my best friend, divorce me, take my dog and son, and my house which I owned before we got married from buying it from my parents. the house I grew up in as a child, she took it. worst of all was paying her child support while my son lived with me - shared parenting LOL...anyhow just busting balls and having fun (though I do check out those Brazilian wax videos ;) ) would love to party with you all one day, rock on man. The Griz

[@IsaacTui]

Dude that's rough hope all is good now 🤙🏼

[@jbrat122]

The prance waddle when he walked up on GSP was the most sissy walk I’ve ever seen. Absolutely magical man 🤣

[@Tonysr]

Best use of the word Sissy in ages.

[@jbrat122]

@@Tonysr 🤣🤣🤣

[@markh3271]

"They recorded Segal standing up" after the knuckles cracking joke. BEST LINE EVER!

[@rladams65]

I love how your co-hosts always know the plot (as thin as it may be) - and Jason is always lost because he doesn't read the screen text or pay attention to the exposition.

[@jcdenton2187]

It's a Seagal movie, I honestly can't blame him lol

[@caseyhanson5031]

You guys deserve a medal for sitting through some of these movies. A medal similar to a Purple Heart, no offense to the vets.

[@abaddon4823]

No offense taken

[@roringusanda2837]

The Croix de Cringe 🎖️

[@law3014]

Thats how you know GSP truly is the goat, even Seagal, in all his egotistical glory realised GSP not landing a punch on him would be ridiculous lol

[@ethanboyd7843]

I heard he now lives in a Stalingrad CARTEL. It's a Hotel with bay doors in which carts are used to move the guests in and out for bathing and feeding.

[@markgrehan3726]

Seagals new signature move really should be the belly flop, and he just asphyxiates the bad guys to death as he lies across their chests slowly crushing their lungs.

[@lobokurg2786]

As someone that's still in the Army, I can say that I have never seen that uniform, and have never heard of the DEA operating inside the Army. CID is the internal Army investigation agency, and I imagine they would also handle any Drug related cases. The Army does have alternative tops called Combat Shirts, but they don't look like that. HOWEVER, I've never had a drug problem. Ask Private Hicks stationed with the airborne at Fort Bragg, he seems like the guy to ask.

[@JasonBrant]

Are you suggesting this movie is inaccurate?

[@lobokurg2786]

A liberty or two may have been taken. I can assure you that no amount of cocaine would have made Seagal move more. In fact I'm convinced that the only reason he got hit in the movie was because they shot the scene in secret using his stunt double while he was busy snorting a line off a hooker's ass.

[@peterv1318]

@@JasonBrant - the badge’s aren’t even correct.

[@TCFan25]

You mean Cpl Hicks - USCM (decd)?

[@JCIce007]

@@TCFan25 you mean Game Over'd.

[@chadmartin1779]

This channel is such a hidden gem. I’ve been binging for days.

[@ericduan19]

In his post-00s movies, Seagal is just like "that guy" in an airsoft game - the guy who's overweight & unfit to do any physically demanding moves, but still tries to imitate some SWAT/special forces maneuvers, eventually turning themselves into a joke. Seagal needs to stay in his lane.

[@rickyd-lux9067]

24:40 That's not even acting. That's Goss' sincere reaction to Seagal trying to deliver his lines.

[@valkirie19]

You don't know how many more Steven Seagal movies you can do, until you do them 🤣😂

[@jordanpaterson9043]

There's one thing that seagal does consistently well and that is waddle around like a footless penguin loaded up on pound cake

[@gypsy4659]

The best bit of this show is watching these poor guy's suffer through Seagull movies. Always a guaranteed giggle.

[@XenoLife]

Your mate with the red glasses looks like a chaotic version of an evil Steve Jobs :D

[@Mayelito7]

One of the painful parts of watching Seagal movies with you guys is struggling along with you, trying to figure out what’s going on, and never getting a definitive answer… just waddling and mumbling… 😂😂😂

[@jaymac7203]

Your impressions of Seagal mumbling had ne in tears loool 😭😭🤣🤣🤣

[@jasoncrandall73]

Let's just appreciate the dedication of Steven Seagal to want to entertain us with well made action movies well into his 70s. 👍😉🙄😜

[@bal5884]

I'm thinking Seafood is trolling us all at this point 😅 Luke Goss was big over here in the 80s (UK) with a band called Bross, my big sister adored them and I had to listen to their music on repeat when I was younger. Another great episode Jas 👍

[@JasonBrant]

Thanks! He would be the greatest troll in history.

[@bal5884]

@@JasonBrant 😅 A daily supply of Krispy Kremes had me in stitches 😅

[@alucard624]

Goss wasn't too bad in the Death Race prequels.

[@bal5884]

@@alucard624 Not seen them mate

[@TheGMan91100]

Did you ever get famous? Did you ever get your picture in the paper?

[@dmichael7144]

Watching you guys watch Seagal movies is like watching torture ASMR, but with no gore!

[@SoulSolo]

The commentary is S-tier in general but "how much do they have to crank the AC"" killed me

[@cade377]

"Not only do I not know... I don't give a sh*t" should be the tag line on EVERY Seagal movie.

[@frankly7761]

Belly Of The Beast was a hilarious Seagal flick. I remember the slow motion cutting the arrows with his sword with a sex scene where the love interest acts like kissing him would be like kissing a donkey's butt. For sheer hilarity is Urban Justice in which he tries talk like he's from the hood. It is glorious to behold. The man has basically gone the David Carradine/Jan Michael Vincent 90s route.

[@Neville60001]

At least Carradine was able to still do martial arts in movies and on TV (the _Kung Fu_ sequel show); Segal can't really do any martial arts anymore, at all.

[@tristanganas2682]

You guys are so awesome, I honestly thought we would have only gotten that Friday video but here we are yet again. This has now become my most fav channel on KZbin

[@JasonBrant]

Thanks, Tristan! That means a lot.

[@tristanganas2682]

@@JasonBrant you probably tired of my ass always commenting😂😂

[@megatronjenkins2473]

@@tristanganas2682 my mighty Decepticon Army drops its 2 cents every week🤣🤣🤣

[@JasonBrant]

Never!

[@BlackMrBlack]

Steven Seagal is a REAL "Stand-up" guy!

[@usmc29er44]

"When did he stop caring about acting" Spot on Truth!

[@DiscoFinalBoss]

Sifu Seagal performs with the exaggerated swagger of a mumbling penguin. I for one am not disappointed. Great stuff as always Jason.

[@JasonBrant]

Thanks!

[@hansgraichen8051]

Thank you for your sacrifice as the Goatee Segal martyrs. You are saving thousands from the trepidation encased in the celluloid excrement that is the soul of Goatee Segal films. You show us all we need to see so that we too do not to need to suffer. You are philanthropists of the highest pedigree.

[@benisaten]

Man he's changed so much over the years.

[@BronxBastard730]

Steven Seagal has his own gravitational fields , it pulls entire grocery stores right into his gullet

[@cearny7856]

Funny how the "Bobby Wiseau" guy is actually a pretty well-established film & theater actor as well as a TV host in Romania :-)) man's got bills to pay, I guess. Big respect for Luke Goss, the man basically fireman carries this kind of movies he ends up acting in.

[@latinmarine]

I've gone down a rabbit hole a few days ago... sunny know how I ended up on this "fat buddy" movies... BUT IT'S AWESOME! CTFU!!! KEEP IT GOING!

[@AgentTomcat]

I don't know why I've never heard the word "bullshido" before this video, but I love it and I'm incorporating it into my everyday vernacular.

[@Humongous420]

Jason I just added Seagull to my movie I am making...I am cutting uo American Ninja to make my own movie about a friend of mine becoming a black ninja 🤣 I added Seagull and I am SO EXCITED because the one and only Redeye Reviews is voicing him for me!! 🤣 This is in NO WAY promoting my pile of garbage film 😉 Just been working on it and watching you guys torture yourselves. Thank you so much for all you folks do! Absolutely LOVE this channel

[@JasonBrant]

Thanks, bud. That project sounds absolutely insane. How far are you into it? Congrats on getting Redeye to help - that's killer!

[@Humongous420]

@@JasonBrant thank you man! It all started as a meme joke I made for my buddy who is a comedian in NYC. There is a trailer you can check out if you would like to. I am about 20 min into it, pasting heads over faces 1/10 of a second at a time! I have so much time into this 🤣 I started editing videos and doing audio, voice work about 3 months ago and this has become so much more than a meme with a story razzing my buddy 🤣🤣 I would LOVE to show you the final version when it's ready if you want a laugh in return for the many laughs you have brought us fans.

[@megatronjenkins2473]

RedEye is doing his Seagull voice in a fan movie?!? SHUT UP AND TAKE MY ENERGON!!!!

[@The_ZeroLine]

Is this going to be a fat seagull with a little karate headband doing kung fu 🥋 moves with its wings?

[@wingerding]

How were you able to cast Seagal? I thought he only acted for himself these days.

[@stuartblack9258]

🤣 so glad i found this channel 🤣 i have i new found appreciation for the mammoth mountain that is Master Sifu Seagal! Instead of not wanting to watch the epic piles of steamy turd that are Steven Seagal movies ive realised with your help he was actually making comedies all this time ! You guys & girl!! Are absolutely hilarious thankyou so much for the content 👍 keep up the good work love from the U.K 🇬🇧 and yes unfortunately Luke Goss was one half of two brothers in a boy band in the uk called BROSS!! You need to watch one of there music videos plenty of fun to be had!🤭

[@dingdingdingdiiiiing]

I bet most of the budget goes for catering, which is the only reason Seagal even makes movies. He sits through most of the scenes and when they feed him, his 5 course meal 6 times a day, they just place a full table in front of him and come back in an hour.

[@ChefMattReviews]

There are 2 exact moments of Steven Seagal's filmography where he ultimately stopped giving a shit. 1. Under Seige. He put pretty much his all into that movie and it was one of the few in which he had very little creative control since he wasnt a producer on the film. 2. Machete. He played the villain and was told by Robert Rodriguez to act over the top as hell, to not take anything seriously, and for but a moment, it almost seems like he is actually having fun. Everything else just feels like either a paycheck or an ego trip.

[@soulbrother5435]

I totally forgot hes in this movie. I even remember Mel Gibson who showed up in the final seconds of second movie despite not seeing it for 10 years

[@fokker1138]

10:47 Baldy has a drop leg mounted at his knee, for those times you only need to get the pistol out fast when seated. They look like a bunch of people who bought "Special Forces" costumes at Spirit Halloween. I love how they spend the entire movie guarding this guy with just pistols with a single mag and empty backpacks. 31:30 That moment when Brian almost made you spit out your beer.

[@JasonBrant]

They probably did 🤣

[@jaybenton7716]

In case you didn't know, Luke Goss was in the 80s band BROS with his brother. They were a big thing in the UK, not sure about elsewhere.

[@JasonBrant]

I was trying to say that, but Brian shushed me because Bobby was on screen.

[@ericparker308]

Love this episode. I usually watch these on patreon but I must admit......I am loving the way you do your sponsorship stuff. You and Lady Erin are friggin hilarious.

[@steveclark9280]

I was on vacation for over 2 weeks so just getting caught up on your last 3 vids. One is a Barbarians movie and another is a Seagal one, it does not get any better than that! Thanks Jason, Brian & Erin. You guys just keep putting out great enjoyable content.

[@thesephisloth1886]

How many martial arts lessons do you think Sensei tried to give GSP and GSP being the nice guy he is just went along with it and thanked him?

[@danielemerson312]

The 2018 documentary "When the Screaming stops" is about Luke Goss and his brother Matt, and their boy band Bros. It is occasionally poignant, but more often inadvertently hilarious. Like a real-life Pop version of Spinal Tap, but where the protagonists aren't aware that they are in a comedy. When Bros were big, I utterly loathed them, but "When the Screaming stops" is great, and I even kind of sympathise with the twins. Give it a watch.

[@JasonBrant]

Will do.

[@mew10521]

What did the band go through? Any of them turned to drugs?

[@tobiasrieper8360]

@@mew10521 Worse. One of them went on to star is sh*tty Seagal movies.

[@mew10521]

@@tobiasrieper8360 thats....that's not....too bad

[@mattleuty6916]

Every line of dialogue he delivers is like Cheyen stoking, in other words using his last death breath's to get through the script.

[@adammassacre1981]

Segal is morphing into some kind of giant tumour with a goatee his very skin is starting to buckle from the sheer pressure of containing the blubber.

[@adv2ht]

Dont remember how I stumbled across this channel but im glad I did. Hilarious content man keep it up.

[@akuma6446]

Am I the only one who heard “Informer” by Snow start playing when he put on those gaudy glasses!?

[@JasonBrant]

Haha!

[@megatronjenkins2473]

Oh fuck, I haven't heard that in YEARS, thanks for remembering that for me😠🤣

[@akuma6446]

@@megatronjenkins2473 😂🤣

[@GibbonHUN]

When you're in a Seagal movie, you know your career has gone horribly wrong.

[@georgecoventry8441]

Oh, God....Not Seagal! You'd better have strong drinks to get through this one. Don't expect me to watch it. 😂 I'll just watch you guys watching it.

[@soulknife20]

Luke Goss also played Prince Nuada in Hellboy II Golden Army. Guy is a legit good actor. GSP sure as heck can't act.

[@JasonBrant]

I liked him in Blade II.

[@da90sReAlvloc]

@@JasonBrant he's good as Frankenstein creature in hallmarks Frankenstein