Steven Seagal has to be joking. He barely moves in this | So Bad It's Good #84 - Cartels

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Jason Brant

Jason Brant

Күн бұрын

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@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
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@johndillermand4053
@johndillermand4053 2 жыл бұрын
You're sponsored, it's official, you're about to blow up and I'm all for it
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
Let's hope!
@scopedog9197
@scopedog9197 2 жыл бұрын
Mommy has nice big legs for the commercial...mmmmhmmmm
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
WIll do, thanks!
@classyredneckcinema9327
@classyredneckcinema9327 2 жыл бұрын
@@JasonBrant hey I think u guys might laugh ur butts off on belly of the beast it's litterly the most ridiculous segsl film ever made he litterly starts out doing a superman pose on a bag thing and they just use stunt doubles constitently doing back flip kicks jumping kicks making people fly it's dumb and u get decent martial arts because Byron Mann is in it
@megabsupreme
@megabsupreme 2 жыл бұрын
Wow. Steven Seagal just gets bigger and bigger, he forces his attentions on scantily clad women, everyone treats him like he's dangerous despite his inability to move off a chair or reach behind himself, and his speech is unintelligible to human beings. Seems he's slowly morphing into Jabba the Hut.
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
He's approaching Orson Welles proportions.
@Neville60001
@Neville60001 2 жыл бұрын
@@JasonBrant, but with _none_ of Welles' talent.
@brianweatherman1207
@brianweatherman1207 2 жыл бұрын
Don't talk about Jabba that way! He deserves more respect than that.
@KaaneDragonShinobi
@KaaneDragonShinobi 2 жыл бұрын
And is also involved with organized crime, don't forget that
@thomasmccabe1859
@thomasmccabe1859 2 жыл бұрын
@@JasonBrant He’s becoming a farrago of Orson. A Welles farrago.
@angiadcock8196
@angiadcock8196 Жыл бұрын
“He SOUNDS fat,” is my favorite descriptor for Steven Seagal all time. 😂
@stephenbachman132
@stephenbachman132 Жыл бұрын
There is only 3 things a Steven Segal movie needs. 1. Opening scene at a Strip Club where all the girls love Steven Segal. 2. Everyone complements Steven on how great he is at everything. 3. Steven Segal in 1 action scene
@cade377
@cade377 Жыл бұрын
I think his action sequence in this one was getting up from the table. To be fair though, I haven't watched the whole video.
@MrJdsenior
@MrJdsenior Жыл бұрын
@@cade377 I'll fill you in, he sat down once. Full disclosure, I couldn't get through but a few minutes of this. The guys were OK, but watching Stevie Seagul...can't do it.
@backupnoname
@backupnoname 10 ай бұрын
That would be the best Duke Nukem parody
@stevehyperdriver
@stevehyperdriver 5 ай бұрын
By “action” I assume you mean he gets out of a chair
@CutlassOutdoors
@CutlassOutdoors Жыл бұрын
I’m a colonel in the DEA Army, stationed in Romania. And in all honesty, I’m also a double agent for two cartels, because it makes just as much sense as the rest of my life.
@cvspvr
@cvspvr Жыл бұрын
the dea army? so that's who's fighting the war on drugs
@billymania11
@billymania11 6 ай бұрын
And I get all the chicks too.
@timdavidson8191
@timdavidson8191 5 ай бұрын
​@@cvspvrbut aren't drugs winning?
@sukaenacornelius9285
@sukaenacornelius9285 15 күн бұрын
That is good. As long as your level of schizophrenia is higher than your self denial and insecurity. You must be a BA.
@lukemarshall1260
@lukemarshall1260 2 жыл бұрын
I don't think he's given up on acting, he just thinks his slow mumbling is badass. Delusion is a hell of a thing.
@EmlynBoyle
@EmlynBoyle 2 жыл бұрын
Honestly, your Seagal content alone is more entertaining than Sensei Penguin's entire crapography. Good one guys.
@anthonythanghe4755
@anthonythanghe4755 2 жыл бұрын
“Sensei Penguin “ I fucking lost it at that.
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
Much appreciated. Doesn't take a lot of effort to be more entertaining than Sifu.
@MinscFromBaldursGate92
@MinscFromBaldursGate92 2 жыл бұрын
@@anthonythanghe4755 WADDLE
@ArtVandelayOfficial
@ArtVandelayOfficial 2 жыл бұрын
If any of you dweebs met him you'd swallow your tongue with nerves Wouldn't say anything like your comments here
@wingerding
@wingerding 2 жыл бұрын
There's a couple decent ones.
@billm8958
@billm8958 2 жыл бұрын
I can't believe I'm going to answer this question seriously - but here goes. The DEA is a stand-alone agency. They might work in coordination with the army - but they would wear one uniform or the other, they wouldn't wear both like that. There is something called DEA "FAST" but again - one uniform or the other. This is also way more thought that Segal put into this. I regret all the decisions in my life that lead me to watching this movie.
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the info.
@not-a-bot
@not-a-bot 2 жыл бұрын
I came to the comments for this comment 👏
@sasavulic1236
@sasavulic1236 2 жыл бұрын
or maybe "writers"got confused and mixed up DEA drug enforcement administration,with DIA defense intelligence agency,US military's version of CIA.
@joquin4618
@joquin4618 2 жыл бұрын
lol 😝
@dbs311
@dbs311 2 жыл бұрын
And to answer another question asked earlier in the review, with the DEA being a non-DoD federal agency, they do not use any DoD Officer/Enlisted nomenclature for position/rank. More than likely, in this context, the "DEA" agents would be 1811 (Special Agents) and would follow the typical movie format of calling each other "Special Agent".
@ddg9952
@ddg9952 2 жыл бұрын
Seagal's dedication to his craft is on the level of Matt Damon, Charlize Theron, Chris Helmsworth, etc. He put on 50 lbs for his roles, but unlike those pussies, he keeps it on. I hereby nominate him for the Golden Glob!
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
He stays in character year round.
@JDelwynn
@JDelwynn 2 жыл бұрын
When a good actor puts on weight for a role, Seagal puts on weight for every role and doesn't lose it, because Steven Seagal never loses!
@killtyrant
@killtyrant 2 жыл бұрын
@@JasonBrant Round. Got it.
@brianlujan7089
@brianlujan7089 2 жыл бұрын
and he doesn't maintain the 50...he adds ANOTHER 50lbs each time
@jonathanallard2128
@jonathanallard2128 2 жыл бұрын
And in Sniper Special Ops he passed all the courses and boot camp to become an ACTUAL Gravy Seal.
@DJPebs522
@DJPebs522 2 жыл бұрын
In the Seagal Cinematic Universe, DEA stands for "Drug Enforcement Army". That might help clear up some confusion.
@lukewright9031
@lukewright9031 8 ай бұрын
😂😂
@petesancer9317
@petesancer9317 2 жыл бұрын
As a Major Colonel Army DEA Sgt Commander, I appreciate this movie’s accuracy with ranks.
@boydcochran4692
@boydcochran4692 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your service lol
@Brad-lt2re
@Brad-lt2re 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for your service in the zombie wars
@achillesikillyezz8604
@achillesikillyezz8604 2 жыл бұрын
lmao
@adepja
@adepja 2 жыл бұрын
As a Colonel Captain CIA Marine Seal paratrooper I agree
@joenoble5469
@joenoble5469 Жыл бұрын
As a Private Master Sgt Chief of operations Navy air force Captain of the DEA I agree also.
@Timmichanga361
@Timmichanga361 2 жыл бұрын
Every line of dialogue Seagal delivers like it's his last breath....Like no one has told him to take a breath before he starts talking
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
🤣 🤣
@ddg9952
@ddg9952 2 жыл бұрын
I dont know what the hell he's going for with that voice and line delivery, but with that belly, this is one of the best Brado impersonations i have ever seen!
@thefatman69dude
@thefatman69dude 2 жыл бұрын
that's just how he breathes. lol
@TruOnyxfire
@TruOnyxfire 2 жыл бұрын
Hey! Lay off Steven! I'd like to see YOU say lines with a mouth full of food and your cheeks stuff full like a chipmunk hoarding nuts.
@johnbrennan592
@johnbrennan592 2 жыл бұрын
He must be pushing four bills by now
@chrisingram9798
@chrisingram9798 2 жыл бұрын
For the record- gsp didn’t knock Sensei Segal down with that punch. He actually knocked Segals snack pack pudding out of his hand and the Sensei fell down trying to protect his pudding pack.
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
Nice 🤣
@werewolf74
@werewolf74 2 жыл бұрын
LOL
@cade377
@cade377 Жыл бұрын
That's much more plausible. Thanks for clearing that up!!!
@Pro-cheeseburger
@Pro-cheeseburger 2 жыл бұрын
I can't wait for a Segal movie where he isn't even on screen.. they have him on a zoom call as the expert
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
That has to be his next role.
@andrewmccormack4295
@andrewmccormack4295 2 жыл бұрын
Or,they organize a zoom call and forget to make the connection with him...
@Nico42048
@Nico42048 2 жыл бұрын
And he somehow still kicks all the ass and saves the day. He really stopped caring completely after what, Glimmer Man ? On deadly ground ?
@MarekGodzimirski
@MarekGodzimirski Жыл бұрын
@@JasonBrant next movie he should fight diabetes.
@KimJongUn823
@KimJongUn823 Жыл бұрын
@@andrewmccormack4295 or just a regular phone call but the service gets cut before segal answers
@lambda3374
@lambda3374 10 ай бұрын
Seagal has become a real life South Park character
@n1kolodian
@n1kolodian 2 жыл бұрын
"He just sounds fat!" That one got me LMAO.
@Lemminjoose
@Lemminjoose 2 жыл бұрын
As much pity as I feel for you guys having to sit through these, I love Seagal Sundays. Your pain brings us all immense joy. Thanks guys.
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks. I guess.
@Lemminjoose
@Lemminjoose 2 жыл бұрын
@@JasonBrant Any time!
@B1az1ngSuN
@B1az1ngSuN 2 жыл бұрын
@@JasonBrant lol
@seanmorrow3903
@seanmorrow3903 2 жыл бұрын
Well said these segal vids are great jason
@breadmeister
@breadmeister 2 жыл бұрын
I'm always surprised at how Seagal can naturally talk in slow motion.
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
It's almost impressive.
@R0gueM
@R0gueM 2 жыл бұрын
@@JasonBrant almost as impressive as it is painful. That’s pretty impressive.
@tschak909
@tschak909 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks to all these Seagal movies, I'm waddling around the house mumbling in his voice.
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
🤣
@FlyboyHelosim
@FlyboyHelosim 2 жыл бұрын
I do that when I need to take a dump.
@darthchowder2023
@darthchowder2023 Жыл бұрын
ThhhHhaatss...s.*deep breath*.s..wwhwhhaat Im talkkkkin brooothhaa..
@pronubcentral
@pronubcentral 2 жыл бұрын
"I was not born on a turnip truck and I was not born at night" That line killed me the most. It's I didn't just FALL OFF the turnip truck!!! I was born at night but not LAST night!!!!! Screw you Steven Segal!!!!
@Parallelwurlds
@Parallelwurlds 11 ай бұрын
As a 97 year old lieutenant colonel in the army DEA I appreciate this movie’s accuracy
@badshah_BC
@badshah_BC Ай бұрын
Is that you, Dale Dye?
@Parallelwurlds
@Parallelwurlds Ай бұрын
@@badshah_BC im still snatching every motherfuka birthday
@DansBuddhaBodega
@DansBuddhaBodega 2 жыл бұрын
Just found out Steven Segal threw himself a big birthday party in Russia. In march.... and invited nearly all of the oligarchs the world has placed sanctions on. It makes watching you guys tear him apart, and laugh at the joke that is master fat ass that much sweeter. He stopped caring after glimmer man. Keep up the good work!!!!
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks! Was Glimmer Man the turning point?
@Rich77UK
@Rich77UK 2 жыл бұрын
You have got to br kidding. Wasn't it proven he is as Russian as Joseph Stalin? (Who was Georgian not Russian).
@robotrix
@robotrix 2 жыл бұрын
@@Rich77UK He helps them launder money and he's a movie star. They don't care if he's Martian.
@williamnantz5604
@williamnantz5604 2 жыл бұрын
@@JasonBrant I think so, too. Glimmer Man was a pretty fun movie...... no question, his last
@Valkris84KT
@Valkris84KT 2 жыл бұрын
Glimmer Man was the start of all black clothes and voice Seagal. Barely threw a punch and mostly shot ppl. Than in Exit Wounds was the start of Pure Leather Coat Seagal and probably the last watchable film with a decent supporting cast
@coltbusick6644
@coltbusick6644 2 жыл бұрын
I literally jumped out of my chair when Sifu got hit. I hope GSP didn’t hurt his hand punching that solid wall of steel and honor 🥺
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
Probably punched off the spray tan.
@JCIce007
@JCIce007 2 жыл бұрын
@@JasonBrant he tans with an air of confidence rarely seen in this day and age.
@foolwriter
@foolwriter 2 жыл бұрын
I've always respected Luke Goss as a working man's action star, and for solid work with Guillermo Del Toro (Blade 2 & Hellboy 2). It's kind of a shame to see him carrying Segal, but somebody's gotta do it.
@Varnicus
@Varnicus 2 жыл бұрын
Rumour has it most of the film's budget went to a good back brace for Luke to carry Seagal.
@DiscoFinalBoss
@DiscoFinalBoss 2 жыл бұрын
R.I.P. to his back. Carrying sensei penguin as a commenter so nicely put it can’t be healthy for anyone.
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
As long as the check clears, I guess.
@megabsupreme
@megabsupreme 2 жыл бұрын
Luke is so underappreciated. The Blade & Hellboy sequels really showcased his value as an action movie sympathetic villain.
@glencurtis6052
@glencurtis6052 2 жыл бұрын
I can't watch Luke Goss and not see him as a singer in an 80s boy band in the UK 🤣
@ltee1233
@ltee1233 2 жыл бұрын
I love how there whole commentary is “I have no clue what’s going on” really sums up segals whole career
@bencooper6983
@bencooper6983 2 жыл бұрын
I've been an MMA fan for nearly 20 years and GSP is my fave fighter, to see him in this movie and get his ass kicked by the human draft excluder to that extent was upsetting to me
@alexandermccarthy
@alexandermccarthy 2 жыл бұрын
It's a huge door that needs Sensei Penguin as a draft excluder! I'm thinking a medieval castle, perhaps.
@nicolec7290
@nicolec7290 2 жыл бұрын
I agree. Is acting is terrible. It can’t be that hard to say a short line like ( we have to go. )
@MarieAntoinetteandherlittlesis
@MarieAntoinetteandherlittlesis Жыл бұрын
Same. GSP was actually good in Captain America- I wonder how he got here? I bet his agent owed somebody a favor and the agent is like “please do it, please. I’ll make sure you get a good payday.” And he payed off his favor by having GSP do this shitty movie. I keep telling myself that.
@sensfanin
@sensfanin Жыл бұрын
Draft excluder - Karl Pilkington
@youdontseeanoldmanhavinatw4904
@youdontseeanoldmanhavinatw4904 3 ай бұрын
Karl Pilkington is amazing​@@sensfanin
@Blutteufel
@Blutteufel 2 жыл бұрын
A few years ago, Seagal finally lost the last vestiges of control over his ego and claimed that he could whomp JCVD. That would be like a sponge vs. a nuclear bomb.
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
He beats GSP in this, which is hysterical.
@megatronjenkins2473
@megatronjenkins2473 2 жыл бұрын
@@JasonBrant lol, but that's scripted!
@alucard624
@alucard624 2 жыл бұрын
JCVD could mop the floor with Seagal's candy ass. Seriously, that would be the quickest fight in history.
@Clemppu
@Clemppu 2 жыл бұрын
Anything is possible! Sifu could probably absorb any hit with his huge organic mass and just direct the kinetic energy back. That's the aim of Aikido, right? 😆
@jkdbuck7670
@jkdbuck7670 2 жыл бұрын
Seagal vs JCVD LOL. Before the fight, JCVD takes a bump of coke. Seagal takes a bump of shortening.
@CowboysCreed
@CowboysCreed 2 жыл бұрын
I’m starting to think Steven Seagal may be the world’s greatest troll.
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
Imagine if this was all a troll. It would be masterful.
@robertflores7819
@robertflores7819 2 жыл бұрын
That’s like Andy Kaufman levels of troll.
@Clemppu
@Clemppu 2 жыл бұрын
Well he definitely fits the physical size of a massive troll...
@MinscFromBaldursGate92
@MinscFromBaldursGate92 2 жыл бұрын
He's fat like a River Troll Hag.
@jesusgarcia1145
@jesusgarcia1145 2 жыл бұрын
A cave troll from the looks of it.
@darkzer0670
@darkzer0670 2 жыл бұрын
I was in the Army and no, the DEA is a completely separate federal agency so there's no way they would be wearing shirts with the stripes.
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
Are you suggesting this movie is incompetent?
@peterv1318
@peterv1318 2 жыл бұрын
Exactly. But sometimes they work with army in war zones. Army is more for showing them the area and backup.
@PRC533
@PRC533 2 жыл бұрын
@@peterv1318 They also call themselves marshals because fuck it why not.
@peterv1318
@peterv1318 2 жыл бұрын
@@PRC533 DEA is it’s own agency. Marshals are their own agency. The badge they have on this show are marshal badges not DEA.
@PRC533
@PRC533 2 жыл бұрын
@@peterv1318 I know that, I was making fun of the movie. The majority of the USMS is staffed with Deputy United States Marshals (DUSM), the actual Marshals are the ones who run entire regions. So the common mistake of just saying marshal shows their ignorance. That and the fact that a deputy's badge is silver while a Marshal's is gold. Also, USMS is a plain clothes agency unless they are on a warrant op or doing prisoner transport. Nobody wears badges all over their clothes like that, especially not on a protective detail. I could nitpick this all day because I was a DUSM, but these are just the most glaring issues.
@abnerbipps9255
@abnerbipps9255 2 жыл бұрын
It's really impressive they found a maternity style plate carrier for him in this one.
@aloofsive1140
@aloofsive1140 2 жыл бұрын
Hahaha
@samueltheprideofafrikarobi9319
@samueltheprideofafrikarobi9319 2 жыл бұрын
Luke Goss made a legitimately solid "hired killer" movie in 2012 called Interview with a Hitman. And if you're at all familiar with video game movies, then I can tell you that the film was the best Hitman (Agent 47) movie that wasn't officially a Hitman movie. Goss looked, acted and moved the way a real Agent 47 would. His suit even resembled the video game icon's suit. If they'd given him a red tie and a barcode on the back of his head, it would have been perfect.
@meisterproper8304
@meisterproper8304 2 жыл бұрын
I didn't knew this existed
@samueltheprideofafrikarobi9319
@samueltheprideofafrikarobi9319 2 жыл бұрын
@@meisterproper8304 You should definitely check it out friend. It's a more quiet and contemplative film than actiony. But when the action does happen, he's 100% Agent 47....but not. LOL.
@meisterproper8304
@meisterproper8304 2 жыл бұрын
@@samueltheprideofafrikarobi9319 I found it on Amazon prime but only in german. Maybe a vpn could work. I hate how Amazons always cheaps out on language licenses
@samueltheprideofafrikarobi9319
@samueltheprideofafrikarobi9319 2 жыл бұрын
@@meisterproper8304 Yeah, I've never been the biggest fan of streaming for reasons exactly like that. Lack of language options, the ability for the streaming service to drop movies from circulation for a bunch of different reasons, the fact that you never truly own anything digitally. But that's neither here nor there I suppose. I have the physical DVD that I picked up quite a few years ago. I don't remember how much I paid for it, but I know it was fairly inexpensive. I'm hesitant to suggest grabbing it off of Amazon or eBay because even if it is cheap, I wouldn't want you to invest money on a gamble.
@thomasdehetre300
@thomasdehetre300 2 жыл бұрын
When you said someone got you all a Steven Segal shirt I literally assumed it was one Segal size shirt that all of you could fit in at the same time
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
I'd be down with that 🤣
@ryantune3325
@ryantune3325 2 жыл бұрын
According to IMDB, George ST. Pierre was not paid to be in this movie with money. In exchange for his performance, GSP wanted Steven Seagal to teach him the same secret front kick that Steven taught to Anderson Silva. Makes sense, really. As an actor, you couldn't pay me to be in one of Seagull's movies either.
@JCIce007
@JCIce007 2 жыл бұрын
Wouldn't it be easier to just study footage Silva doing the kick and copy him? It's not like there's magic words or secret chi powers involved...or is there?
@SophiaPerpetua
@SophiaPerpetua 4 ай бұрын
I respect St Pierre as a fighter and sportsman but his choice of acting roles is questionable.
@DansBuddhaBodega
@DansBuddhaBodega 2 жыл бұрын
"He shot the guy with the family" " I don't care about that shit" Happy Father's day everyone!!!!!
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
Happy Father's Day!
@robertmcallister4688
@robertmcallister4688 2 жыл бұрын
Your videos are like watching myself & my friends 30-ish years ago. Someone would rent the worst movie available, then after work we'd congregate at someone's place to drink/smoke/whatever and roast Segal, cheer on Troma anti-heroes, laugh at no-budget 80s horror... I love it. Helps fill the insomnia void.
@jamie.777
@jamie.777 11 ай бұрын
Ever watch "combat shock " 😲 . 😂it's a troma film about a Vietnam vets with a mutant "agent orange" baby. The Vietnam Jungle flash back scenes were filmed in New Jersey, I believe we see 😅some foliage 😂.
@samuelbrown3405
@samuelbrown3405 2 жыл бұрын
You guys referring to Seagal as Sifu made me laugh way harder than it should have
@archer1949
@archer1949 2 жыл бұрын
26:14. I like how Seagal magically lost 200 pounds while falling. I guess it would have been awkward to broach the subject of extra padding on the stunt double to match the previous shot.
@923crono
@923crono 2 жыл бұрын
If Seagal actually fell, it would have caused an earthquake beyond all form of reality
@eduardodiaz9942
@eduardodiaz9942 2 жыл бұрын
As always, Sifu Seagal steals every scene he's in. He's so rotund he's the only thing you can see. Also, I need to check the astral chart of the date when the scene where Seagal gets hit was shot. Pretty sure you need the planets to align for that to happen.
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
🤣 A celestial event definitely occured during that moment.
@vineethonkan
@vineethonkan 2 жыл бұрын
I've noticed that guys like this have such a complex about them that they cannot film themselves getting hurt. I've seen it in all of Michael jai whites movies as well.
@marciwhitton6351
@marciwhitton6351 2 жыл бұрын
Sifuud Seagal.
@BenetteG
@BenetteG 2 жыл бұрын
@@marciwhitton6351 sea food?
@davidmullen6011
@davidmullen6011 Жыл бұрын
I noted that Seagal's glasses didn't even leave his face...
@butkusfan23
@butkusfan23 2 жыл бұрын
I know his performances have gone downhill for a solid 20 years now, but at this point, Segal can hardly even sit up on his own. It’s almost like he has to be propped up with sticks and someone pulls his strings to make his mouth move so he can mumble his lines. He seriously sits there like Pizza the Hut from Spaceballs. What a turd. Thanks for the hilarious vid guys 😂
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
Pizza the Hut 🤣
@TheJoker-jk4dp
@TheJoker-jk4dp 2 жыл бұрын
@@JasonBrant Seagal does get beat up in a movie that he did with Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson knocks out Seagal with a punch. I believe the movie is called “Chinese Salesman”. You should do a review on that movie.
@JCIce007
@JCIce007 2 жыл бұрын
@@TheJoker-jk4dp guarantee they filmed the end of that fight without Seagal on set. And I would bet without him even seeing the defeat in his script.
@TheJoker-jk4dp
@TheJoker-jk4dp 2 жыл бұрын
@@JCIce007 I don’t know about the script but there was a double for Seagal when Mike Tyson knocks him out. Also keep in mind Seagal has had stunt guys doubling for him even when he wins a fight in his movies. He even had a double when he was just standing in a scene. He’s been doing that several years now. Either way I’m sure he didn’t like it that Mike Tyson beat him in that fight scene. I’m pretty sure he knows about that now. Seagal is a joke. He should just retire already.
@tobiasrieper8360
@tobiasrieper8360 2 жыл бұрын
@@TheJoker-jk4dp My theory is that Seagal made sure the stuntman took the hit just in case Tyson actually connected and decapitated him.
@TheDjcobra2001
@TheDjcobra2001 2 жыл бұрын
He's not fat, he's gravitationally challenged.
@MrJdsenior
@MrJdsenior Жыл бұрын
He's EVERYTHING challenged.
@SephirothPhenyx
@SephirothPhenyx 11 ай бұрын
"I don't know what is illegal in Romania. Nothing?" - Jason Brant LMAOOOOOOO Bro, Ï just walked into my home from the coffee shop and had this playing in the background. Ï stepped foot into my home to this. HAHAHAHAHAHA you fellas are amazing, thank you so much for the genuine good times and laughs. Ï hope more success, happiness, prosperity, good health and all that good shit finds you all. Cheers
@robertflint4115
@robertflint4115 2 жыл бұрын
I was having a bad day and just found out my wife was sleeping with best friend and wants a divorce, my truck has a flat, my dog "Rocko' died last night, and only beer in fridge is stupid Heineken NA. Hopped on youtube to watch some "Brazilian wax" demonstration videos ; ) and stumbled (or should I say - "waddled") across your video's and you guys (and gal) rock. Your "Seagalisms" are epic. So thank you for that little ray of sunshine on this cloudy day. Rock on !!!!
@megatronjenkins2473
@megatronjenkins2473 2 жыл бұрын
Dude, your life is a country song.
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
You're welcome. I hope none of what you just said is true.
@robertflint4115
@robertflint4115 2 жыл бұрын
@@JasonBrant 25 years ago my ex did sleep with my best friend, divorce me, take my dog and son, and my house which I owned before we got married from buying it from my parents. the house I grew up in as a child, she took it. worst of all was paying her child support while my son lived with me - shared parenting LOL...anyhow just busting balls and having fun (though I do check out those Brazilian wax videos ;) ) would love to party with you all one day, rock on man. The Griz
@Isaac-muntz
@Isaac-muntz Жыл бұрын
Dude that's rough hope all is good now 🤙🏼
@chadmartin1779
@chadmartin1779 2 жыл бұрын
This channel is such a hidden gem. I’ve been binging for days.
@caseyhanson5031
@caseyhanson5031 2 жыл бұрын
You guys deserve a medal for sitting through some of these movies. A medal similar to a Purple Heart, no offense to the vets.
@abaddon4823
@abaddon4823 2 жыл бұрын
No offense taken
@roringusanda2837
@roringusanda2837 Жыл бұрын
The Croix de Cringe 🎖️
@MrDiggityaus
@MrDiggityaus Жыл бұрын
5:38 GSP doesn’t seem to be wearing glasses. Do you think they only had one set of glasses and the actors shared them haha 😂 😂
@jimmypenrose1401
@jimmypenrose1401 2 жыл бұрын
Steven Seagal never jokes. He may not be moving much on-screen; but he was faster than Usain Bolt at the craft services table. Those donuts never stood a chance!
@Jon-ld3jl
@Jon-ld3jl 2 жыл бұрын
based on his track record of truthfulness, the only thing i can say for certain after watching this movie is that Steven Segal was in fact born at night, on turnip truck, and not in michigan, or moscow, or saigon, or a Cherokee reservation, or any of the million other places he claims to be from.
@jbrat122
@jbrat122 2 жыл бұрын
The prance waddle when he walked up on GSP was the most sissy walk I’ve ever seen. Absolutely magical man 🤣
@Tonysr
@Tonysr 2 жыл бұрын
Best use of the word Sissy in ages.
@jbrat122
@jbrat122 2 жыл бұрын
@@Tonysr 🤣🤣🤣
@lobokurg2786
@lobokurg2786 2 жыл бұрын
As someone that's still in the Army, I can say that I have never seen that uniform, and have never heard of the DEA operating inside the Army. CID is the internal Army investigation agency, and I imagine they would also handle any Drug related cases. The Army does have alternative tops called Combat Shirts, but they don't look like that. HOWEVER, I've never had a drug problem. Ask Private Hicks stationed with the airborne at Fort Bragg, he seems like the guy to ask.
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
Are you suggesting this movie is inaccurate?
@lobokurg2786
@lobokurg2786 2 жыл бұрын
A liberty or two may have been taken. I can assure you that no amount of cocaine would have made Seagal move more. In fact I'm convinced that the only reason he got hit in the movie was because they shot the scene in secret using his stunt double while he was busy snorting a line off a hooker's ass.
@peterv1318
@peterv1318 2 жыл бұрын
@@JasonBrant - the badge’s aren’t even correct.
@TCFan25
@TCFan25 2 жыл бұрын
You mean Cpl Hicks - USCM (decd)?
@JCIce007
@JCIce007 2 жыл бұрын
@@TCFan25 you mean Game Over'd.
@dullahan7677
@dullahan7677 2 жыл бұрын
From the thumbnail it looks like Seagal is trying to smuggle in a few kilos of product, himself. Gives a whole new meaning to the term "plate carrier".
@ericduan19
@ericduan19 2 жыл бұрын
In his post-00s movies, Seagal is just like "that guy" in an airsoft game - the guy who's overweight & unfit to do any physically demanding moves, but still tries to imitate some SWAT/special forces maneuvers, eventually turning themselves into a joke. Seagal needs to stay in his lane.
@Mindfuel777
@Mindfuel777 2 жыл бұрын
Bobby Weisau has his own continuity in the Seagal-verse
@froggygirl329
@froggygirl329 2 жыл бұрын
I'm thinking it's time these guys spoke to a lawyer about compensation for the pain and suffering they endured from Steven Seagal.
@newera3757
@newera3757 2 жыл бұрын
How dare you? Sansei Steven Seagul and his mastering of ancient art of bullshido are legendary.
@Gopnik_K9
@Gopnik_K9 2 жыл бұрын
Police Officer and ex-soldier here NO! They are definitely not the same. Should be Special Agent for DEA, and Deputy Marshal for the Marshal Service. I think they are going for a Sicario thing, where special forces types are working with fed agencies as operators 🤷🏻‍♂️ I’m confused too. But keep it coming!
@markh3271
@markh3271 2 жыл бұрын
"They recorded Segal standing up" after the knuckles cracking joke. BEST LINE EVER!
@Humongous420
@Humongous420 2 жыл бұрын
Jason I just added Seagull to my movie I am making...I am cutting uo American Ninja to make my own movie about a friend of mine becoming a black ninja 🤣 I added Seagull and I am SO EXCITED because the one and only Redeye Reviews is voicing him for me!! 🤣 This is in NO WAY promoting my pile of garbage film 😉 Just been working on it and watching you guys torture yourselves. Thank you so much for all you folks do! Absolutely LOVE this channel
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks, bud. That project sounds absolutely insane. How far are you into it? Congrats on getting Redeye to help - that's killer!
@Humongous420
@Humongous420 2 жыл бұрын
@@JasonBrant thank you man! It all started as a meme joke I made for my buddy who is a comedian in NYC. There is a trailer you can check out if you would like to. I am about 20 min into it, pasting heads over faces 1/10 of a second at a time! I have so much time into this 🤣 I started editing videos and doing audio, voice work about 3 months ago and this has become so much more than a meme with a story razzing my buddy 🤣🤣 I would LOVE to show you the final version when it's ready if you want a laugh in return for the many laughs you have brought us fans.
@megatronjenkins2473
@megatronjenkins2473 2 жыл бұрын
RedEye is doing his Seagull voice in a fan movie?!? SHUT UP AND TAKE MY ENERGON!!!!
@The_ZeroLine
@The_ZeroLine 2 жыл бұрын
Is this going to be a fat seagull with a little karate headband doing kung fu 🥋 moves with its wings?
@wingerding
@wingerding 2 жыл бұрын
How were you able to cast Seagal? I thought he only acted for himself these days.
@valkirie19
@valkirie19 2 жыл бұрын
You don't know how many more Steven Seagal movies you can do, until you do them 🤣😂
@law3014
@law3014 2 жыл бұрын
Thats how you know GSP truly is the goat, even Seagal, in all his egotistical glory realised GSP not landing a punch on him would be ridiculous lol
@rladams65
@rladams65 2 жыл бұрын
I love how your co-hosts always know the plot (as thin as it may be) - and Jason is always lost because he doesn't read the screen text or pay attention to the exposition.
@jcdenton2187
@jcdenton2187 Жыл бұрын
It's a Seagal movie, I honestly can't blame him lol
@ALAH13
@ALAH13 2 жыл бұрын
He walks with an aire of confidence rarely see in this day and age.
@karldicker1702
@karldicker1702 2 жыл бұрын
That's what's i always thought was cool about him many years ago.
@roringusanda2837
@roringusanda2837 Жыл бұрын
He literally waddles around like a penguin...an overweight penguin with bad knees and a few fused spinal vertebrae...
@Mayelito7
@Mayelito7 2 жыл бұрын
One of the painful parts of watching Seagal movies with you guys is struggling along with you, trying to figure out what’s going on, and never getting a definitive answer… just waddling and mumbling… 😂😂😂
@tristanganas2682
@tristanganas2682 2 жыл бұрын
You guys are so awesome, I honestly thought we would have only gotten that Friday video but here we are yet again. This has now become my most fav channel on KZbin
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks, Tristan! That means a lot.
@tristanganas2682
@tristanganas2682 2 жыл бұрын
@@JasonBrant you probably tired of my ass always commenting😂😂
@megatronjenkins2473
@megatronjenkins2473 2 жыл бұрын
@@tristanganas2682 my mighty Decepticon Army drops its 2 cents every week🤣🤣🤣
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
Never!
@bal5884
@bal5884 2 жыл бұрын
I'm thinking Seafood is trolling us all at this point 😅 Luke Goss was big over here in the 80s (UK) with a band called Bross, my big sister adored them and I had to listen to their music on repeat when I was younger. Another great episode Jas 👍
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks! He would be the greatest troll in history.
@bal5884
@bal5884 2 жыл бұрын
@@JasonBrant 😅 A daily supply of Krispy Kremes had me in stitches 😅
@alucard624
@alucard624 2 жыл бұрын
Goss wasn't too bad in the Death Race prequels.
@bal5884
@bal5884 2 жыл бұрын
@@alucard624 Not seen them mate
@TheGMan91100
@TheGMan91100 2 жыл бұрын
Did you ever get famous? Did you ever get your picture in the paper?
@ethanboyd7843
@ethanboyd7843 2 жыл бұрын
I heard he now lives in a Stalingrad CARTEL. It's a Hotel with bay doors in which carts are used to move the guests in and out for bathing and feeding.
@jaymac7203
@jaymac7203 2 жыл бұрын
Your impressions of Seagal mumbling had ne in tears loool 😭😭🤣🤣🤣
@dmichael7144
@dmichael7144 2 жыл бұрын
Watching you guys watch Seagal movies is like watching torture ASMR, but with no gore!
@cade377
@cade377 Жыл бұрын
"Not only do I not know... I don't give a sh*t" should be the tag line on EVERY Seagal movie.
@danielemerson312
@danielemerson312 2 жыл бұрын
The 2018 documentary "When the Screaming stops" is about Luke Goss and his brother Matt, and their boy band Bros. It is occasionally poignant, but more often inadvertently hilarious. Like a real-life Pop version of Spinal Tap, but where the protagonists aren't aware that they are in a comedy. When Bros were big, I utterly loathed them, but "When the Screaming stops" is great, and I even kind of sympathise with the twins. Give it a watch.
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
Will do.
@mew10521
@mew10521 2 жыл бұрын
What did the band go through? Any of them turned to drugs?
@tobiasrieper8360
@tobiasrieper8360 2 жыл бұрын
@@mew10521 Worse. One of them went on to star is sh*tty Seagal movies.
@mew10521
@mew10521 2 жыл бұрын
@@tobiasrieper8360 thats....that's not....too bad
@rickyd-lux9067
@rickyd-lux9067 Жыл бұрын
24:40 That's not even acting. That's Goss' sincere reaction to Seagal trying to deliver his lines.
@XenoLife
@XenoLife 2 жыл бұрын
Your mate with the red glasses looks like a chaotic version of an evil Steve Jobs :D
@steveclark9280
@steveclark9280 2 жыл бұрын
I was on vacation for over 2 weeks so just getting caught up on your last 3 vids. One is a Barbarians movie and another is a Seagal one, it does not get any better than that! Thanks Jason, Brian & Erin. You guys just keep putting out great enjoyable content.
@ericparker308
@ericparker308 2 жыл бұрын
Love this episode. I usually watch these on patreon but I must admit......I am loving the way you do your sponsorship stuff. You and Lady Erin are friggin hilarious.
@jaybenton7716
@jaybenton7716 2 жыл бұрын
In case you didn't know, Luke Goss was in the 80s band BROS with his brother. They were a big thing in the UK, not sure about elsewhere.
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
I was trying to say that, but Brian shushed me because Bobby was on screen.
@jordanpaterson9043
@jordanpaterson9043 2 жыл бұрын
There's one thing that seagal does consistently well and that is waddle around like a footless penguin loaded up on pound cake
@stuartblack9258
@stuartblack9258 2 жыл бұрын
🤣 so glad i found this channel 🤣 i have i new found appreciation for the mammoth mountain that is Master Sifu Seagal! Instead of not wanting to watch the epic piles of steamy turd that are Steven Seagal movies ive realised with your help he was actually making comedies all this time ! You guys & girl!! Are absolutely hilarious thankyou so much for the content 👍 keep up the good work love from the U.K 🇬🇧 and yes unfortunately Luke Goss was one half of two brothers in a boy band in the uk called BROSS!! You need to watch one of there music videos plenty of fun to be had!🤭
@frankly7761
@frankly7761 2 жыл бұрын
Belly Of The Beast was a hilarious Seagal flick. I remember the slow motion cutting the arrows with his sword with a sex scene where the love interest acts like kissing him would be like kissing a donkey's butt. For sheer hilarity is Urban Justice in which he tries talk like he's from the hood. It is glorious to behold. The man has basically gone the David Carradine/Jan Michael Vincent 90s route.
@Neville60001
@Neville60001 2 жыл бұрын
At least Carradine was able to still do martial arts in movies and on TV (the _Kung Fu_ sequel show); Segal can't really do any martial arts anymore, at all.
@fokker1138
@fokker1138 2 жыл бұрын
10:47 Baldy has a drop leg mounted at his knee, for those times you only need to get the pistol out fast when seated. They look like a bunch of people who bought "Special Forces" costumes at Spirit Halloween. I love how they spend the entire movie guarding this guy with just pistols with a single mag and empty backpacks. 31:30 That moment when Brian almost made you spit out your beer.
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
They probably did 🤣
@adv2ht
@adv2ht 2 жыл бұрын
Dont remember how I stumbled across this channel but im glad I did. Hilarious content man keep it up.
@jacktheaviator4938
@jacktheaviator4938 2 жыл бұрын
Seagull f+*ked up both of those sayings, he said he "wasn't born on a turnip truck and I wasn't born at night." The sayings are "fell off a turnip truck" and "born at night, but not last night"
@slickill5738
@slickill5738 2 жыл бұрын
This is by far the best humorous commentary I've seen on the subject. Golden.
@soulknife20
@soulknife20 2 жыл бұрын
Luke Goss also played Prince Nuada in Hellboy II Golden Army. Guy is a legit good actor. GSP sure as heck can't act.
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
I liked him in Blade II.
@da90sReAlvloc
@da90sReAlvloc 2 жыл бұрын
@@JasonBrant he's good as Frankenstein creature in hallmarks Frankenstein
@jasoncrandall73
@jasoncrandall73 Жыл бұрын
Let's just appreciate the dedication of Steven Seagal to want to entertain us with well made action movies well into his 70s. 👍😉🙄😜
@cearny7856
@cearny7856 2 жыл бұрын
Funny how the "Bobby Wiseau" guy is actually a pretty well-established film & theater actor as well as a TV host in Romania :-)) man's got bills to pay, I guess. Big respect for Luke Goss, the man basically fireman carries this kind of movies he ends up acting in.
@AlmostAndre777
@AlmostAndre777 Жыл бұрын
He wasn't born at night? 😆 🤣 😂 I think he meant " I was born at night but not last night"
@markgrehan3726
@markgrehan3726 Жыл бұрын
Seagals new signature move really should be the belly flop, and he just asphyxiates the bad guys to death as he lies across their chests slowly crushing their lungs.
@hansgraichen8051
@hansgraichen8051 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your sacrifice as the Goatee Segal martyrs. You are saving thousands from the trepidation encased in the celluloid excrement that is the soul of Goatee Segal films. You show us all we need to see so that we too do not to need to suffer. You are philanthropists of the highest pedigree.
@thesephisloth1886
@thesephisloth1886 2 жыл бұрын
How many martial arts lessons do you think Sensei tried to give GSP and GSP being the nice guy he is just went along with it and thanked him?
@Rich77UK
@Rich77UK 2 жыл бұрын
Luke Goss and his brother Matt where a boy band "Bros" (pronounced as its spelt) in the 80s (lateish). Matt sings in Vegas but Luke disappeared for some years to retrain as an actor. He can fight and was in Blade 2, the bad elf Prince in Hell boy 2, the Death race sequel/prequels and some more. He's a pretty decent chap in real life.
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
I've liked him in the movies I've seen him in.
@gypsy4659
@gypsy4659 2 жыл бұрын
The best bit of this show is watching these poor guy's suffer through Seagull movies. Always a guaranteed giggle.
@GibbonHUN
@GibbonHUN 8 ай бұрын
When you're in a Seagal movie, you know your career has gone horribly wrong.
@dreamchild1082
@dreamchild1082 2 жыл бұрын
This has to be one of the best KZbin channels of all time. Keep up the good work you guys.
@BigJad
@BigJad 2 жыл бұрын
Found this channel by mistake and ended up watching a load of your content. I enjoy watching these movies through your channel, because I don't have the time or patience to sit through them myself 😂
@soopergenyus
@soopergenyus 2 жыл бұрын
I worked on a movie with Luke Goss. He was really serious about giving a solid performance. I never thought I would see him in something like this. He was in a British band (with his brother) called the Bros. They were rather popular in the 90s as I recall.
@tobiasrieper8360
@tobiasrieper8360 2 жыл бұрын
Luke Goss got robbed. He should have been a star. Instead, he’s been reduced to garbage like this.
@logank444
@logank444 2 жыл бұрын
I'm glad to see you stuff getting 200k views
@darabennett4316
@darabennett4316 Жыл бұрын
Just found you guys, and I'm so glad I did. And my first watch was the Neil Breen marathon. Not once was I disappointed.
@christophertsipouras2290
@christophertsipouras2290 2 жыл бұрын
Technically he would be addressed as, "Segal Sensei" or just "Sensei". In order to be addressed as such one would have to have a dojo and students. There can only be one Sensei in a dojo. I practiced Aikido and if Segal ever came to the dojo as a guest or a student he would just be addressed as "Steven".
@davidguardado4739
@davidguardado4739 2 жыл бұрын
I'd address him as fat Seagull.
@DansBuddhaBodega
@DansBuddhaBodega 2 жыл бұрын
He did have his own dojo. He was the first American allowed to teach aikido in Japan. That being said, he's still the biggest joke in the martial arts. Now he makes the guy from fatal deviation look like Bruce lee.
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
I'd address him as Piece of Shit.
@JimBrodie
@JimBrodie 2 жыл бұрын
Having been well exposed to Luke Goss and his twin brothers' boy band 'Bros' back in the mid-late 80's; To see him start a career in acting, i honestly expected the worst. Surprisingly i found i enjoyed his performances in the Death Race remakes and Interview with a Hitman. It looks to me like he's the only one propping this up. Quite the achievement really. =]
@akuma6446
@akuma6446 2 жыл бұрын
Am I the only one who heard “Informer” by Snow start playing when he put on those gaudy glasses!?
@JasonBrant
@JasonBrant 2 жыл бұрын
Haha!
@megatronjenkins2473
@megatronjenkins2473 2 жыл бұрын
Oh fuck, I haven't heard that in YEARS, thanks for remembering that for me😠🤣
@akuma6446
@akuma6446 2 жыл бұрын
@@megatronjenkins2473 😂🤣
@Mattastrophic1
@Mattastrophic1 2 жыл бұрын
WOW, Seagal's lazy line delivery has hit an even lazier low. He sounds like the crew was working his lungs with an old set of bellows. "I dibnt fawl obb a turnip truck. I ate my way off dat muberbucker"
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