Steven Seagal loves cookies | So Bad It's Good

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Even though this movie is boring as hell, it gives us an epic Sifu quote about cookies.
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[@blunderbuss3943]

The cookie line NEEDS to be added to the Sifu Seagal intro 👏

[@jamespruitt4756]

and a shirt.

[@Tcoldsteel]

COOKIES!!!!

[@samholdsworth420]

I don't think Jason was born at night...

[@JasonBrant]

I'll see what I can do 🤣

[@kingbaby8761]

@@samholdsworth420 dammit. Cookies and turnip trucks.

[@akuthia]

I love how he effortlessly flows between ghetto, creole\Louisiana, and just mumbling, all in one scene.

[@alucard624]

It's a special kind of gift that only Sifu has.

[@bryce4228]

I believe that's called a stroke.

[@guyman9655]

He's a true thespian

[@random22026]

Fo' sho, mofo

[@burtknighten4438]

​@guyman9655 more of a therapist

[@josephlyons1727]

Erin being repulsed by Seagal is becoming a highlight of these episodes

[@TheseBitchesWantNikes]

It's the funniest thing.

[@thedimestoredropout8111]

“I love the F out of cookies.” The first honest thing he’s ever said.

[@DoveAlexa]

It's relatable too!

[@thedimestoredropout8111]

@@DoveAlexa you’re not wrong.

[@arthuryong8562]

"Right now, imma snatch every mother******* cookies..."

[@thedimestoredropout8111]

@@arthuryong8562 that’s another t-shirt idea right there.

[@arthuryong8562]

@@thedimestoredropout8111 I'd die for that lol.

[@The.David.Robert]

Now THERE’S the Giant Turdmonster Super Soldier we all know and loathe.

[@trustobey1016]

🤣

[@jordanpaterson9043]

The fact u waited for this video to comment this is hilarious 😂

[@The.David.Robert]

@@jordanpaterson9043 I knew it was coming soon, it’s been a while since Jason had to review Sifu

[@jamespruitt4756]

alright. that's good. you win

[@JasonBrant]

Well done!

[@TalosCreative]

18:08 To be fair, Seagal hasn't been able to see his own balls since 2003

[@MrManBuzz]

That bit at the beginning with Erin making the "mistake" of saying 'I do' was very wholesome. You two seem like such a good couple. Can't say I'm not jealous of it.

[@infosecrogue8883]

"Never trust a stripper" is the smartest thing to ever come out of a Segal movie.

[@nosoul4233]

Finding the sausage in the giant bowl of jello killed me off …… Steven is actually vile …. Love the videos

[@chabbu64]

...like a button on a fur coat!

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

He really is a sack of crap in real life.

[@user-gt8me2jv5q]

I can't tell if Erin wants to laugh or throw up.

[@jacobbarham9360]

Holy shit, I think that's the first time Sifu has ever smiled in one of these movies at 5:53. It was the most humanising thing he's ever done and it was creepy af

[@karstenpurdie9802]

Pretty sure it was just gas

[@Mwwwwwwwwe]

​@@karstenpurdie9802 😂

[@JasonBrant]

Shudder.

[@chanceisshane]

Maximum Conviction is even more creepy and terrifying.

[@turnipbeybladespinner7836]

and of course he's with a pretty lady half her age

[@SlappyChop]

The sequel should be called "End Of A Buffet" where Sifu devours a whole buffet then rages when they won't refill the crab legs.

[@kevinramsey417]

Then he has cookies.

[@jackflash8218]

You think that fat POS bothers to extract the meat, or does he just crunch away, shell & all, eyes wild, like a degenerate?

[@clockworkorangecassidy1114]

End of a bun

[@JasonBrant]

Sounds more realistic than his other movies.

[@markiangooley]

I would pay serious money to watch a movie of Seagal polishing off a huge plate of pierogi. Okay, maybe $20. Not that serious money, but more than I’ve ever spent before to watch a movie.

[@TheForcesWrath]

I love these guys, they make me wish I had friends lol.

[@MrManBuzz]

That hit me right in the feels. Same man. Same.

[@JasonBrant]

Alcohol is a social lubricant 🤣

[@lapthom]

Can't you watch SBIG movies with a VR headset, and it allmost feel like you are in the same room chugging beers?

[@MrManBuzz]

@@lapthom Not really. You can't ignore the fact that you're a complete stranger to Jason and his friends, and you always will be. We're not his friends, and we never will be. No point in mincing words about it is there?

[@lapthom]

@@MrManBuzz I wasn't thinking of watching with Jason and company especially, but more people without any friends, as stated by OP.

[@MrDman21]

I love how Erin is so disgusted by Steven Seagal trying to be "charming" 😆

[@josephhubisz8610]

Erin’s visceral reaction to Sifu trying to be sexy is so funny.

[@icarusfalls5422]

Steven Seagal loves cookies and bewbs. For once, I find myself in agreement with Sifu.

[@JasonBrant]

He's gonna make me hate cookies.

[@icarusfalls5422]

@@JasonBrant What about bewb shaped cookies? 🤔

[@theaikidoka]

@@icarusfalls5422 Better than cookie shaped bewbs...

[@Rak187Inf]

That quote about Sifu not having insecurities was absolute gold!

[@DoveAlexa]

So I guess its always the director who decides to crop out his body or jowls in later movies, not Seagal? 🤔

[@saxongreen78]

Seagal taking shots at another man's hair is richer than his morning Krispy Cremes.

[@UC4AQUgrQ9EwVIGoF0w7xHXg]

Sifu's mouth is at the end of a...bun

[@leeweesquee]

Refuses to run

[@enriquemerryll]

@@leeweesquee waddles to the food

[@mooncat7009]

its at the end of a…long days work

[@Celticgamer89]

This movie is an end of excitement

[@JasonBrant]

Nice!

[@liamfoster1536]

So funny story, 1 time my house got robbed of everything. Tvs, good cooking pans,orchids...like everything!!!! The thief's I'm imagining....had time to go through my entire DVD collection and left only the Steven seagal movies and "the core" a movie y'all should definitely view lol😂 HUUUUURHHHHH

[@metalhead9315]

Dude...y'all had me at "you've made a lot of mistakes in your life, the worst of which was saying 'i do'." I love how y'all get along. I'm not a patreon subscribber but I will be sending a box with some DVD's and beer for y'all from Texas!

[@jessehaltia4795]

I am hoping that I can be known as a great writer and actor rather than a sex symbol. - Sensei Seagal

[@JasonBrant]

Christ.

[@bryce4228]

​@@JasonBranthe probably thinks that describes him as well.

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

He has no humility.

[@philfmiller]

Seagal sounds like he's perpetually on the verge of passing out

[@TwinklesTheChinchilla]

Legend has it, if you leave Sifu some cookies and a stripper on your hearth, on Christmas Eve, he'll make you a movie, too.

[@ATEC101]

Unfortunately, you have to burn the bed and be credited as a Co-Executive Producer. The chairs have to be comfy and sturdy.

[@scipio7837]

I thought if you did that you'd get all your MF birthdays back

[@nathanharper4060]

He'll "let" you be an unpaid stuntman who he punches in the face before hip-tossing you into a real 1970s glass coffee table, because a prop would cost actual dollars

[@ptonpc]

Is that some sort of threat?

[@DoveAlexa]

I'm watching this in bed with my husband still asleep but I could not keep from laughing out loud at that. Well done.

[@ShoesyQ]

The women of these movies should win awards. Like AVN Awards for 'best faker' or 'best actress that doesn't vomit when close to a disgusting man'. I feel like they would come up with better names, but it's a start to an amazing thing.

[@kingbaby8761]

I'm convinced at this point that Sifu is trolling the whole world.

[@nathanharper4060]

I'm convinced that he's a real-life Napoleon Dynamite

[@stefanforrer2573]

i think you underestimate the power of narcissism....

[@user-by6ec3ki7l]

"Time to find the sausage in the giant bowl of jello" - funny, accurate, and disgusting at the same time....

[@jackflash8218]

"Now it's time to find the sausage in the giant bowl of jello." Jason is a writer. He has a gift for imagination, storytelling, phrasing, etc. Writers can use words to conjure imagery, thoughts & feelings in the hearts & minds of others. This is an incredibly valuable skill to have, but I think this video shows that Jason has learned to use his powers for Evil. What he said, what he did... was an attack on us all. Join me now... SHAME. SHAME. SHAME. SHAME. SHAME...

[@F1_780]

Speaking of stock footage I was rewatching some previous seagal episodes and watched the A Good Man episode. I noticed the helicopter shot in the opening of A Good Man was stolen from Deadliest Prey when Ted Prior is being chased by the helicopter but the Seagal movie just darkened the shot. Once i noticed it, I started thinking steven seagal is slowly becoming Godfrey Ho. Rewatch those episodes and see if you can see it.

[@JasonBrant]

Seagal in a Godfrey Ho movie... the horror.

[@s3.14dervision]

That cookie line is the only honest thing Seagal has ever said! It's the only way he can still find his...katana.

[@dirtycrewman]

You guys are on a roll the last couple of weeks. Between this and Steel shaqqin' his shaft it was a complete crapfest and I love it.

[@JasonBrant]

Thanks!

[@42k78]

I don't understand how your videos don't have millions of views upon seconds of posting. You all literally have the best channel on youtube. Love everyone on here. Even that Aaron guy that was only on once.

[@TheOrlandoTrustfull]

You've tried really hard here, you have to admire it.

[@42k78]

@@TheOrlandoTrustfull The only person trying hard is you; trying hard to be a prick and you're succeeding. This was me holding back so you couldn't be more wrong.

[@nathanharper4060]

This channel has given Sundays and Thursdays a special meaning, and that special 20~ minutes of riffing just make my day. This is one of the few channels I have watched that made me actually laugh out loud. Much love

[@chatpilot]

It was funny as hell how you kept fast forwarding and trying not to fall asleep. Seagal was delivering his lines like a narcoleptic right in the middle of an episode lol.

[@williamjamesayers7719]

That needs to be Seagal's new film - COOKIES AND TITTIES.

[@FuzzyPyrate]

There should be a Segal movie where Sifu wants some cookies, but all the cookies in the world are currently being held in a giant vault by Cookie Monster who is also the worlds most dangerous cookie baron.

[@redwoodpartisan2433]

I’ve always said that Seagal would’ve played a very good Cookie Monster! If only he had more “acting” range than his typical special forces trite

[@DoveAlexa]

If we could replace seagal with a look alike actor who can act it would be even better!

[@Shalyn-ln9tu]

I never know if I should say, "oh yay, another upload" or "oh no, it's Segal time" 🙃💚

[@JasonBrant]

Both are acceptable.

[@zombiecarnes]

Him saying "baby" in any manner could dry up a lake...

[@TheseBitchesWantNikes]

Hahahaha

[@TheseBitchesWantNikes]

I felt so violated

[@ratatoskr8190]

I discovered your channel by watching one of your Seagal sessions and still enjoy every episode you guys making fun about sifu 😂

[@JasonBrant]

You should check out some of our other stuff - it's way better! Check out our Lost Faith episode.

[@alucard624]

@@JasonBrant That kick to the face of the bridge troll is one of the top ten SBIG moments.

[@anthonyholmes5965]

That’s how I initially found this channel too, but there are some real gems on here too.

[@ratatoskr8190]

@@anthonyholmes5965 Sifu actually was good for sth once 😂

[@chipchippahson]

In all fairness to Sifu every body, if he's around you have an endless supply of gravy. So there's that.

[@hansgraichen8051]

Damn it. Now I want Oreos and a spicy hotdog.

[@JasonBrant]

🤣 🤣

[@davidkanengieter]

Here's an idea for a Seafu film that needs to be made. I call it Stolen Valor. It's 35 minutes of Lord of the Fries talking about all the black ops he claims he was part of, then 35 minutes of actual Seals and Delta boys beating the brakes off him. No stunts, just a real life beating.

[@HarryFlashmanVC]

So the bird in this is Jade Ewen who was a member of the English girl trio the Sugarbabes. She did a bit of West End musicals and British telly up until 2015. God knows who advised her to do this movie, which was 2016 but it appears to have ended her career as she's basically done nothing since. She's in good shape, the Sugarbabes were famous for their dancing.

[@jasonmcmurtry7812]

Any woman subjected to having Sifu touch them on camera should get tax exempt status, for life, and be paid handsomely for it lol 😂

[@jackflash8218]

Come on, that's just taking it way too far... ... I will agree that their therapy should be paid for, though. That seems reasonable.

[@JasonBrant]

Instant nomination for an oscar, too.

[@chileno189]

I'm surprised she didn't vomit when he told her, "Now you owe me some good pussy"

[@Likexner]

They dont "have to" do it. They choose to do it and they get paid for it.

[@msn769]

YAAAS!!! Another Seafood Seagull movie with the crew.... imma sit back, relax and enjoy the sh!t show..

[@JasonBrant]

Hope you dug it!

[@zackmas09]

I’m so damn glad I found this channel. Love all of you guys

[@nathanharper4060]

Not sure how recently you started watching, and I'm sure I don't have to tell you, but watch everything lol. I would also recommend watching them in chronological order just because you get the whole picture, so to speak

[@andrewtheogre5971]

“I love the F@#k outta cookies man”. 🤣🤣🤣 That needs to be on a Tshirt!! 😂😂

[@padmelotus]

The British girl is Jade Ewen. She was a singer who represented Britain in 2009’s Eurovision Song Contest, and was in Sugarbabes 2009-11.

[@gafrers]

Almost punishment enough for being in eurovision.. almost

[@wongjefx980]

Freaking hot... I had to look her up. Guess breaking into acting is tough.. got stuck in this crap movie.

[@chuckn4851]

I mean, I also love cookies and bolos but Sifu takes that love to the extreme. In all the worst ways. Can't wait for this!

[@uptown710]

“Find the sausage in the giant bowl of jello” I am familiar with so many double entendres, euphemisms, metaphors, etc. I have NEVER heard this shit before and I was dead laughing for like 5 minutes 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@DannerLand]

I agree with the comments at the end about #4... Especially the staircase scene. I was like "OMG please just get this movie over with already!"

[@anastasiosjohn3307]

The woman is Jade Ewen, was in a Girlband for a few years and also sang for the UK at Eurovision 2009 alongside Andrew Lloyd Webber. She's had an interesting kind of b list career...

[@bal5884]

"I love the f**k out of cookies, cheeseburgers, lard, deep deep fried chicken, kebabs, hot dogs and pretty much every food that was invented"

[@oblivious8868]

Steven Seagal coming at me with a knife that large would be scary, partly because big man and big knife, but also the possibility that he could be hungry and might try to eat me if he can catch me.

[@mvyper]

The tall guy with Bobby at 7:55 was the Russian / Colombian boss in Cartels, too !

[@bobcook2800]

You have to respect a man that keeps his shirt on during sex. Always ready to go never letting his guard down.

[@randomname9263]

Damn, Matthias is savage with the insults!😂

[@JasonBrant]

Haha, for real.

[@dougmhd2006]

Some other SBIG fan probably came up with this a long time ago but I'm gonna toss this out there anyway: Whenever I hear Seagal referred to as 'Sifu', I always mishear it as 'seafood'. You know, like in the ancient joke: "I'm on a seafood diet. Whenever I see food, I eat it." So, there you have it: The Sifu Diet. You're welcome.😂 I'll see myself out now.

[@derekk8523]

Between you guys and space ice is the only way sifu movies are tolerable. Thank god I discovered your work

[@trashwebsite_user01]

14:20 - If you are ever in a situation where you cant perform the heimelich maneuver on yourself... just think of steven seagal on a waterbed 😂

[@steveclark9280]

Nothing makes me happier when I click on youtube on a Thursday/Sunday as when I see a Sifu update on SBIG!😁

[@Msmasajes]

Also, rocking the 4k! The videos are looking GOOOD!! Good job, guys. Looking crisp AF.

[@juliusceasar1992]

Im actually pretty upset ya'll didn't show the scene where he said "that might could be an illusion" 😂😂😂

[@davidkymdell452]

Space Ice's review of this is fucking hilarious, highly enjoyed this one too. Thanks guys! All the best from Australia.

[@realityboost4405]

At 2m30 Excuse me, what?!…"It's going to be just BAD enough that it's going to be terrible."…How did you NOT pick up on this stone cold GOLDEN phrase?!?! 😖

[@viciousbuddha8854]

Fun video as always! That actress is a semi famous British singer, no way is she getting nekked lol

[@supersaiyanbino]

"It's amazing to meet someone that has zero insecurities and should have a lot..." Hold, on..I got a senzu bean around here somewhere for that burn..

[@nobbynoris]

Does Seagal write his own movie scripts? Serious question here. I am struggling to believe that anybody else could come up with "I luuurve the fuck outta cookies".

[@GrimReaper01776]

I don't really watch channels like this but holysh>t. I have watched nearly everyone of your videos. All of you are hilarious lol

[@FlyboyHelosim]

Seagal would be like ED-209 in RoboCop... looks intimidating but is defeated by stairs. 😂

[@codiak2680]

And be defeated with a couple of well placed shots using an anti-materiel rifle.

[@RRVCrinale]

Nonsense! ED-209 can actually enunciate.

[@nathanharper4060]

I absolutely love your guy's reactions (or lack thereof)

[@chadbranston9741]

That line about bobbing for apples in pudding nearly made me heave

[@lopaka76]

The movie had to go back to Seagal for 10 sec to get to the number of minutes Seagal is in the movie.

[@GenrePeak]

With Erin’s nausea over SIFU films it warrants zofran and a puke bucket next to her chair. 😊😂

[@jackflash8218]

I think my favorite is when it's his cotton candy hair that induces the dry-heaving. 😆😆😆😂😂😂

[@rticle15]

"I will steal every muthaf#$$n birthday cake cookie." "He walks with an oreo of confidence..." "I was not born in a @#$$% keebler elf tree (but i wish i was)." "There's some sick chunky chocolate chips up in here, alligator."

[@thiefthearcher9907]

Been looking forward to this one since I woke up and went to work.😂

[@TheDave123]

I am always amused by Erin's visible disgust for Seagal in every video

[@eduardodiaz9942]

Good Lord, Seagal in this looks and sounds like he's a couple donuts away from a heart attack

[@twentyrothmans7308]

One of your best. One of his best. And "fewer", not less, well spotted.

[@scribesntribes]

"I love the f**k outta cookies." Jason, you sooo have to put that on a t-shirt! 🤣

[@nathanharper4060]

With poorly photoshopped cookies placed over a stripper from a scene from one of his movies

[@1massboy]

13:28 damn it Jason! I just spit my drink all over my computer. 😂

[@CrazySharp]

STEELERS SOCKS?!?!… I knew I loved this channel for more reasons than the content

[@prasanthalpha]

The actress btw was a singer in the music band Sugababes. This was her first and last movie.

[@joeysnyder8966]

Lmfao! "Just take his keys from him, and throw 'em." One of the best lines ever...😂🤣😂🤣

[@Desmo904]

If you're ever involved in a knife fight with Sensei Segal, just simply place a plate of cookies between you and him. He'll forget ALL about you! 🍪❤🥵

[@TheJoeshExperience]

Cant wait to watch this when i get out of work!

[@JasonBrant]

Hope you dig it!

[@TheJoeshExperience]

@@JasonBrant loved it!

[@kylerandell5212]

I noticed that Ferrari on the shirt is spelled wrong early on, and then i couldn't unsee it! 😂 brilliant reaction as always!

[@garyattic9297]

Sausage in a bowl of jello... thanks for that amusing nightmare fuel Jason 😊

[@amcgowan1970]

His new fighting stance allows him to write his lines on his palms where the camera won't pick them up.

[@amcgowan1970]

"Never trust a streeper". True. Meryl's fans are as vociferous as Swifties.

[@paulhowell5011]

Jade is a British singer in one of the top groups and was once in the Eurovision Song Contest

[@johnwhitehurst7484]

Seagal movies remind me of old drive inn theaters that would play the third movie at 1:30 a.m. By that time there would be about 10 cars left and no one was watching.

[@tornadot2025]

Great time as always! The movie might suck, but you make watching it so funny that I don't even care that it sucks, lol! Also, the image of Seagal belly flopping into an actual giant bowl of jello to find a sausage made me laugh out loud!

[@jackflash8218]

*oof* You know that's not really what Jason meant, right? Hate to do this to you, but he meant the girl was the one that's going to "find the sausage in the giant bowl of jello". If you truly didn't get that at first, I honestly wish I could see your face when you figure out the metaphor. 😉🤤😭

[@tornadot2025]

@@jackflash8218 No no - I totally got it! However, with all of the Seagal jokes, my warped mind just went over to Seagal seeing a giant bowl of jello with a sausage in it, and not being able to help himself. He'd probably Aikido the girl out of the way just so that he could get to it first and...well, I'll stop now, lol!

[@Anonymousduck161]

Dude, you are criminally under subbed. The amount and quality of content you put out on sifu alone should net you at least 10x what you have currently.

[@LD10101]

When Steven Seagal (Waddles) you drink ( Steven Seagal drinking game) (Waddle) Steven Seagal, there's no intelligence in the movie. Steven Seagal plays Marty-Stu in Marty-Stu Forever.

[@stuartblack9258]

Hehe!! How many fookin Sefu movies are there!!!🙈 Keep up the good work guys love from the U.K 🇬🇧

[@hoppergonzalez4560]

Waited all day for this one

[@JasonBrant]

Hope it was worth it.

[@CaptainCalculus]

I love the Sefu Seagal intro music--always makes my day! Also--I lived in Paris, French people, in France do not speak English to each other.

[@joqqeman]

Should have visited the part of paris that is in romania populated by romanians, english and americans

[@62iq64]

This is my go to channel after finishing all Space Ice's videos.

[@kashifevans9072]

Yo. You gotta keep that, "I love the shit outta cookies."😂😂😂

[@brandonedwards1057]

The old, bald gangster in the knife fight was "Hide the Pain Harold"...😂

[@jackflash8218]

Meth-head John Malkovich.

[@pr9039]

OMG a new Seagal one? I really thought you guys tapped that tree dry!

[@thomascross8339]

circle circle dot dot, now you get a giggles shot