Steven Seagal ruins everything | So Bad It's Good

[@JasonBrant]

Use my code JASON5 to get $5 off your delicious, high protein Magic Spoon cereal by clicking this link: sponsr.is/magicspoon_jason5

[@jasonrhodes9726]

Dude, you are talking yourself into a divorce with that crap.

[@maxbrandt6]

New flavor: Safeway Chicken

[@rhinovirus2225]

It's five dollars off the first loan payment to buy that stuff

[@metalhead9315]

How do other people send beer to you? I just tried to send you some beer from Texas and the Post Office, UPS and Fed Ex all turned me down when I declared what was inside the box. Looks like you'll be getting DVD's from us but not any hooch.

[@jtcattanio]

​@@metalhead9315dude... ups asks but dont check.. come on common sense bud.

[@MrGox]

"We then get a scene, where a priest goes off-script, and starts telling Seagal, what the world been trying to tell him his entire career" - Space Ice

[@imaghost2961]

Space Ice is so funny. Love that guy! 🤣🤣

[@leeks1408]

Gotta imagine Space Ice is saying the same stuff these guys are while sitting through these movies 🤣

[@rjnedlaw1]

Me : thanks sparky! You: you know I got you bro!

[@samholdsworth420]

Sup sparkplugs

[@UberNeuman]

Steven Seagal, floating along with all the grace of a deflating balloon during the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.

[@alundavies1016]

Reminds me of that Trump blimp that got popped.

[@scottvincent3062]

Seegull has as much grace in his movements as a dog dragging his itchy ass across the carpet.

[@JasonBrant]

🤣

[@MarsNova]

😂Outstanding!

[@sandyn3384]

😂😂

[@hiramsiqueiros9018]

Erin's disgust at Seagull ''romantic scenes'' never gets old.

[@sandyn3384]

Shes so repulsed she makes me laugh every time lol

[@joshcarter-com]

It’s a full-body revulsion that I totally understand.

[@carldzoga1348]

The priest was reading excerpts from his autobiography😂😂😂

[@JasonBrant]

🤣 🤣

[@stonecoldku4161]

"You might as well get that fun out of your system, because it's Sifu time." The utter disappointment on their faces when you said that was hilarious. I could feel the air being sucked out of the room through my computer screen.

[@yvesheinrich5013]

But let's be honest. Once, and if they review his first five movies or even Under Siege 2 for that matter, this very quote wouldn't hold true

[@clockworkorangecassidy1114]

My favourite Seagal story is from Tom Arnold, where Seagal thought it would look more badass if he walked through a door in a certain ways. They were filming on a boat so the door just led nowhere and he fell into the water. The way the story goes there was an oil slick where his hair dye washed out. And yes this is Seagal at his mumbliest.

[@JasonBrant]

A classic story.

[@PaulieAFantoneJays19]

& Don't forget...Arnold also said in that interview that the paint Seagal uses to cover his bald head washed off too LOLOLOL

[@robertl426]

Haha yes I've heard that story, I really hope it's true, I can just imagine his horror at that "hair" being ruined.

[@jculver1674]

Look up the story Stephen Tobolowsky tells about playing a serial killer in The Glimmer Man. Seagal's character was scripted to shoot him, but he apparently was going through a spiritual phase and didn't want to kill a man on-screen (even though he had already killed a bunch of people earlier in the movie), so he had it changed so that he convinces Tobolowsky's character to shoot himself (which is somehow better morally, because reasons), then he tried to change it again later so that the character somehow survives being shot point-blank in the head. It's hilariously insane.

[@rickastley2308]

Ah, good old 'Exit Wounds'. Can't wait to see it on the channel.

[@TheSonOfSammyTerry]

Next time Erin passes out, get a big 'ol Seagal temporary tattoo and put it on her leg. Tell her she got inked when drunk and you tried to talk her out of it.

[@JasonBrant]

She would be less than thrilled 🤣

[@j.g1255]

I met Lance Henrikson back in the mid 90s, he was VERY cool, chatted with me for a couple minutes, autograph. Real chill guy.

[@JasonBrant]

Nice! Glad to hear he's cool.

[@BlazingOwnager]

"Enunciate, you piece of shit!" needs to be a tagline on the box.

[@Dr.Thirteen-bb1ub]

That priest has more balls than anyone else in Seagal's entire filmography.

[@tattltal]

I’m pretty sure that wasn’t in the script. I’m sure a priest was just talking some truth to Seagal and the camera just happened to be rolling.

[@VerveQuest-zc4ri]

You know damn well Seagal licking his lips hungrily while saying the phrase "daddy daughter relations" had nothing to do with smelling burgers

[@oldmanandanxbox796]

"He switched into black Segal for a second." Had me 💀💀💀

[@Runningcheetah1]

Erin is killing the magic spoon commercial. Well done!

[@JasonBrant]

Thanks!

[@TheVleckChannel]

@@JasonBrant Problem is, she missed at least 2 opportunities to work in bonus Magic Spoon references during the review when she referenced being tired. ^_^

[@TheVleckChannel]

I was joking.

[@peachcobblercake3968]

@@HappyHarryHardon Get a grip, the emoji face after the person's comment made it come off as something lighthearted.

[@lallen3327]

"Cleaner than a Safeway chicken" actually made me spit out my beer a little.

[@rush1er]

" Ew she touched his ponytail!" 😂 😂

[@jaredlitherland2670]

How you guys don't watch every Seagal movie with the captions on is beyond me. All of his dialog sounds like it's spoken with a mouthful of pudding.

[@AnikMonette]

Seagal movies are a little harder to find lately but still, I was able to watch a few of them and Kill Switch has to be the worst offender here!

[@foabmoab]

I love how Seagal holds any weapon he uses way above his shoulder and aims down the side of it instead of the actual sights. Truly a man who did secret squirrel stuff for the CIA 😋

[@WarmasterDeath]

he also occasionally holds the handgun so the sights are to his forehead, as though he were aiming with a third eye or a cyclops!

[@foabmoab]

@@WarmasterDeath Haha

[@csmadisun]

This one was BRUTAL. And yet, despite all the crap you throw at it, this is STILL one of Sifu's better Direct-to-DVD efforts.

[@JasonBrant]

Definitely one of his better movies.

[@thephysicsgamer123]

"efforts" in heavy quotation marks, of course

[@csmadisun]

@@thephysicsgamer123 Oh, of course.

[@oldhatAN]

Comparing it to crap like Against the Dark and General Commander, yeah.

[@XombieLejon66]

"better Sifu movies" is like being the nicest guy in prison

[@marissakphotography6604]

There is nothing to be happy about here. What an honest and uplifting opening ❤

[@JasonBrant]

I mean... it's true 🤣

[@marissakphotography6604]

@@JasonBrant it looks so awful, I stopped your video at 15 mins, so I can watch it myself then compare notes with your “review” afterwards.

[@ExUSSailor]

Three things are certain about Seagal, he wasn't born on a turnip truck, he's a bad man, and, he loves the f**k out of cookies.

[@arthuryong8562]

And Snatching every m****** birthdays?

[@bruhmoment8295]

And he was not born at night, he was born in a bright and sunny day man

[@arthuryong8562]

@@bruhmoment8295 It may seem like that, but it might could have been an illusion.

[@TheVanmanderpootz]

"Banged the morality in? In or out of her?" - this has to be your deepest and most philosophical episode yet. on So Bad It's Good. I wonder how deeply in debt Seagal is with the Romanian Mafia that he has to keep smuggling drugs and money into the country under the pretence that he is making actual movies intended for circulation amongst his eager fans? Because I don't think there can be more than 6 fans left at this point.

[@JasonBrant]

Hah!

[@conormcgiffin126]

Renée Elise Goldsberry did this movie in 2008 and, eight years later, won the Tony for Hamilton in 2016. Not even the power of Sifu could keep her down. If any actor is experiencing career hang ups, they should look here for inspiration.

[@TheKappyjames]

True, but I just feel so sad for her that she had to kiss him in the movie. No one should have to endure that hell.

[@ytsn_THE_OG]

Yep I recognize her immediately and looked her up, and realized she is too good for her to keep her down. That's pretty good. I saw her on Altered Carbon.

[@bethanychatman9531]

She was also an already ab established actress and singer by this time, I think. So this is really disappointing that Hollywood is such shit that you have to roles like this sometimes to pay bills.

[@bethanychatman9531]

​@@ytsn_THE_OGaltered carbon is Soo good. Should have gotten two more seasons.

[@ytsn_THE_OG]

@@bethanychatman9531 YES!!

[@maxbrandt6]

Pew-Wee passes away yet Segal continues to waddle about, how is that possible?!

[@NathanTarantlawriter]

If I imagined what the waste basket from a Gold's Gym would look like if it wasn't thrown out for a couple of months, I'd imagine Steven Seagal.

[@JasonBrant]

Goddamn 🤣

[@PaulieAFantoneJays19]

Agreed lolololol

[@thechrisandphaedrusshow]

Dude you have a seriously patient wife to put up with all the Seagal movies! Another great one thanks for the laughs!👍👍

[@JasonBrant]

I'm surprised she still tolerates it, haha.

[@villematiashaukia9633]

Cereal commercial is better than any Seagal movie. Had awesome day today with chess and having a blast with this episode. Little grim cemetery joke: "We couldn't decide if we wanted to bury or cremate our grandma - so at the end we let her live."

[@wimvanderstraeten6521]

Seagal speaks every language known to man and all the languages that are spoken throughout the universe as well.

[@JasonBrant]

He's the best.

[@lucidone2738]

It’s easy to do when you just mumble them all incoherently 😂

[@gafrers]

00:08 Erin's and Brian's expression say it all. Life being sucked out of them at the mention of Seafood Fatgal

[@jalejake4997]

“I hate when his lips move” 👌😂

[@BlazingOwnager]

I think my favorite / worst / most horrifying Segal story was his teenage co-star on Under Siege II. The way she told that story on late night TV is hilarious and worth looking up. Sifu: "It's okay, I have girlfriends your age.." Her: "MOMMMMMM!!"

[@theaikidoka]

That was Katherine Heigl, right? Yikes. Good for her though, not putting up with his predatory shit. And no, my username does not indicate support for that creepy fuck.

[@porkflaps4717]

"let's ask mommy what she thinks".. the camera starts zooming out and you see her stand up and Seagal is zipping up his pants.. that had me cracking up right at the end of the video!

[@Voltage362436]

Legend says the Priest was supposed to hype him up in the beginning, but he went waaaay off script the moment he realized he was in a Segal movie.

[@cocobutter3175]

This is my most favorite Seagal quote... The one that really highlights how goofy he is. "I was not born on the turnip truck, and I was not born at night." Honestly, I love it even more than "I'm gonna snatch every motherf*ckers birthday ". My 34th birthday is coming up in 7 days, I hope Seagal snatches it.

[@themoviedealers]

Yeah the saying is supposed to be, "I may have been born at night, but I wasn't born LAST night."

[@cocobutter3175]

@@themoviedealers Lol, and " I didn't fall off the turnip truck." Makes me want to mix more idioms in a goofy way. A dime n disguise. Beat around the bullet. A penny saved is a penny for your thoughts. Yeah, these all sounds like lines Seagal wrote for himself.

[@stephenbaluran3298]

You can see the air just leaving Erin as soon as she heard "sifu." The things y'all do for our pleasure.

[@JasonBrant]

She can't take much more Sifu.

[@Se7enBeatleofDoom]

Pistol whipped sounds like slang describing how Steven Seagal eats his pork chops with whipped cream and fried cottage cheese.

[@couchalmark675]

Fortunately it seems like Seagal makes a movie every week, so you can keep this up forever.

[@alundavies1016]

I just typed “how many Seagal movies” into Google, it came back with “at least 59” and I could hear the pain!

[@Dwainecurtis2001]

You just can’t escape this man.

[@U.Boonmee]

Probably a few Seagal movies appear even after his funeral in future

[@alundavies1016]

@@U.Boonmee a Reanimator crossover with the Seagull, a match made in hell!

[@DanRPGMan]

Brian and Erin's faces when Jason said it was Seagal time was priceless. Brian looked like the color was draining out of his face with another Sifu movie. Erin looked like she was about to vomit, I'm pretty sure she will one of these days with the Sifu movies. You guys should watch a series called Killjoy, an apt nsme because it's a bad series and somehow they made seven of them so far. Great stuff as always.

[@thejohnkaufman]

Erin's soul straight up left her body when the actress said "Because I wanted you" lmao

[@anthonyholmes5965]

I love how Seagal gets his own scale. But I guess big papa does deserve his own scale. Lol

[@JasonBrant]

We have to grade him on a curve.

[@tussk.]

You should have a bucket ready for Erin, for whenever Sifu writes himself into a bootie scene.

[@OntarioPete]

No better way to end the weekend then watching Sifu Seagal waddle his way through another mediocre action movie. I hope you and the SBIG crew had an awesome weekend Jason hope your week is even better coming up.

[@JasonBrant]

Thanks so much! Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

[@langleymneely]

“No, Im mad.” (loud sigh) 😂 Erin is so adorable and hilarious! The palpable disgust and frustration at wasting her time on Sifu Seagal again! AND IM WITH ERIN, ITS CALLED POP GODDAMMIT!!! 😜

[@HappyScamper]

You know when Jason looks at Erin and they smile at each other with their jokes. Wish I had someone like that

[@WhenTheManComesAround]

"Especially if it was bigger than mine.".. 🤣🤣 This one is top shelf!! Haha

[@lucidone2738]

“You always could lay it on thick”, I think she was referring to his skill at the buffet table lol

[@NoodlesBeforeDinner]

Great episode, everyone! Thank you, Erin, for inventing the term "styrostone." 😂😂

[@CerberusLives]

Jason's totally genuine (and fully justified) animosity toward Seagal is always a joy to experience. He really is a p.o.s.

[@LetsGetitBoah]

The funniest stuff is when he calls out and disrespects guys like JCVD and Michael-Jai White frauds, when they are CLEARLY much better and much more disciplined martial artists than he is.

[@tattltal]

Yeah. This channel and Space Ice are heroes for watching these so we don’t have to.

[@jaredneal3463]

I maintain the funniest part of these videos is Erin cracking herself up. Great job, y'all.

[@themusicactor]

So now we know who Angelica ended up with when she couldn't have Hamilton! 😂😂😂.... The Schuyler sisters 🎶

[@georgesykes394]

Steven Sensei Segal still snatching birthdays 😢

[@918HUMAN]

😂

[@JasonBrant]

Snatching donuts.

[@georgesykes394]

​@@JasonBrantHow can tell Segal was at a buffet? Everything was snatched except the vegetables.

[@jonbranch710]

Erin's face looks so defeated when you said its Seagal time

[@darrenredden3289]

Jason is gonna get violently pistol whipped by Erin if he shows her another god awful Sifu film! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@JasonBrant]

No doubt!

[@Obironnkenobi]

Segal running into every scene of this movie like I do in Video Games where they tell you "Stealth is Optional".

[@stonecoldku4161]

3:37 This speech by the priest was not in the script. He was just ranting to Seagal about Seagal. Neither knew the cameras were rolling.

[@palmeristo]

I love watching his films with you guys because I wasn't watching them on my own 😂

[@stonecoldku4161]

"You could always lay it on thick." She's talking about the layer of butter or mayo he puts on every one of his meals. They'd had lunch before shooting the scene.

[@Elephantirrelephant]

So months ago, my buddy and I decided we were going to watch almost every Seagal film made. We live across the country from one another and figured being on Skype while we do this would be entertaining. With only five films left, I assure you, Pistol Whipped is actually one of the better ones. This one was one of the few where I did not want to claw my eyes out within the first ten minutes. As you all have already discovered, anything that involves Keoni Waxman should be burned.

[@timothybrown2907]

2:07 I have to admit, I was singing this in my head the other day you wouldn’t believe the crazy looks I got

[@JasonBrant]

haha, nice.

[@carldzoga1348]

The whale is looking at Seagal like 'Damn, he's big! 😂

[@JasonBrant]

🤣

[@musicmnw1982]

I just want to point out that his gambling debt was $1,235,000.65. Sixty five cents? In what world would a person owe a loan shark 65 cents?

[@Bones_Jr.]

It's almost as if Seagal's understanding of the context of the "I'm a bad man" conversation was different than everyone else's. Otherwise his ego might have got in the way.

[@8bitbonsai]

In 2004 Steven Seagal released a dancehall song called “Strut” in which he sings in a fake Jamaican accent and his first line is “me wan da poonani.” can’t make this shit up.

[@JasonBrant]

It's so gross.

[@sandyn3384]

Oh lort💀I'd rather go deaf for a whole day than hear that🙉

[@iwishihadgoodinternet7766]

Always a joy to see you guys give these films a go lol

[@Fardawg]

Seagal speaks several languages. He lived and taught Aikido in Japan in the 1970s and is fluent in the language. His first wife was Japanese and her and their two children are still in Japan. I think he also speaks Italian. He has lived in Russia and Serbia (his paternal grandparents were Russian Jewish immigrants), so I assume he speaks at least Russian. It isn't that wild for his character to speak both Japanese and Korean, though it still comes off as an odd boast in that scene. He also speaks Sifunese, a language only he can speak and understand...

[@user-hf7jp2lt5x]

Mumbling while sounding stoned should be called Herbal Diarrhoea

[@thea.m.p.co.467]

I have yet to hear him articulate anything longer than a sentence, coherently, in _any_ language, including english. As for Sifunese - I think that's the only language he can truly express himself in. It's a shame the rest of us are missing out. I've heard that if us mere mortals could comprehend the beautiful poetry that is Sifunese, surely our hearts would explode in our chests trying to supply so much blood to our genitals swollen with passion.

[@stevenmoules4955]

I like how erins dead excited at the beginning of the video until you mention its Seagal time and she's like awe! Shit!😁

[@stonecoldku4161]

25:34 No, that's a real bench. Seagal just sat on it earlier and broke it. So, they just glued it back together and decided to add it to the scene.

[@TrevJericho]

Sensei Sifu and your commentary is comedy gold

[@Dragonwulfgaming]

My favorite description of Segal, “Is there no beginning to this man’s talent?” Hell I might have heard that on this channel but it’s apt.

[@FilmGuy7000]

"Because I wanted you." Erin immediately vomits in her mouth. This is what I come here for, brilliant.

[@MarcussJay]

Seagal. The gift that keeps on giving. Ever heard his music? Is without a doubt, as good as the movies he makes.

[@sealdoggydog]

Released 42 mins ago and already 2.4k views! This channel has exploded since I found you guys about 6 months ago. Congrats!!

[@s3.14dervision]

"Safeway Chicken" now trumps "muthafucka birthday" as my new favorite sifu line!🤣🤣🤣

[@CaptainCalculus]

An actual creative way of doing an exposition dump in a Seagal movie.

[@PaulieAFantoneJays19]

After all of the garbage that Seagal has made & starred in, this film is actually pretty decent & it's way above his standards from what I'm used to seeing from him

[@JasonBrant]

Absolutely.

[@ImaginaryTerrie3]

Someday there will be an award called the Seagal. Basically it will be a lifetime Razzie award.

[@prdeadpool1380]

Sifu Seagal still has to be the best when the character isn't meant to be

[@teremin]

Does anybody have an actual, accurate count on his straight-to-dvd projects? I thought I was a Seagal semi-expert, but this channel proved that I'd only seen the tip of the iceberg.

[@user-ss3wb8he7h]

The priest went off script 💀

[@theprofessional438]

Whatever you do, don't buy Magic Spoon. I am pretty sure that crap is not even food. That is why you can't find it in the stores.

[@JoeChillton]

I like how the slightest movement of body indicates this man is trying lol

[@SuperjoeV1]

Yeah funny thing is... this is actually one of his decent ones. Must be the bowling shirts. - Lance is always a highlight, he never slums it no matter what he's in. What was the best Seagal you've done so far? I'd guess Attrition.

[@DamonSuhler-p5h]

Sifu is singularly successful in creating ridiculous lines..... "Clean as a Safeway chicken"?

[@iatebambismom]

"HE was moving.. it's a big step". Huge. And not just for acting effort.

[@langleymneely]

22:15 I was eating dinner as I watched this and had the exact same reaction as Erin!!! I almost choked on my Chinese food! Lmao! 🤢🤮

[@AlyrArkhon]

I love Erin's reactions and how angry she became to the end of the movie.

[@brianregal9899]

The phrase "Extreme Prejudice" first appeared publicly in a news story about some shenanigans the CIA was up to in Vietnam in 1969. It entered wider pop culture, of course, in that scene from Apocalypse Now. After that, every douchy movie that wants to seem badass has someone say it.

[@kelvinmartinez4770]

11:07 that whole action scene was sifu sitting down! 😂 lord have mercy

[@markmules4057]

I appreciate Erin making a Joey speaking French joke from Friends.

[@kelziebub1]

The graphic artist managed darn well beyond this film! Renée Elise Goldsberry was the original Angelica Schuyler in Hamilton and was in Altered Carbon on Netflix.

[@Dacre1000]

Tony winner right there. In a Segal movie. Everybody has to start somewhere I guess...

[@chaoticallyorganizedd]

From now on "Seagaling" will be my go to expression when describing gigantic fck ups lmao

[@quinkelly1441]

When ever I Hear Pistol Whipped I Think of Fat Tony's goons from the Simsons feeding Cool whip to Homer on a Pistol.

[@JasonBrant]

Hah, I haven't seen that one.

[@Smokie_666]

I feel like I'm late to the party in realizing every Seagal movie is a vanity project. *sigh* He's like a walking chunk of bologna.

[@dateusz]

I've been binging these again and I'm at the point where I now randomly sing the "Sifu Seagal" intro song throughout the day

[@ALWTunes]

Y'all really have a dilemma here. You hate Seagal, but those are the most popular videos. Haha. Thanks for another classic!

[@fredskull1618]

It’s the Aikido Shaman’s most cinematic urban "masterpiece” since Above The Law! Yes, it has a jumbled plot and baffling dialogue. Those strange lines and erratic twists, lack of logic and nonsensical scenes? A shower of pure cinematic gold. The movie, much like Seagal himself, is a puzzle that doesn't want to be solved. It’s so beautifully bad. Cheers 🍻

[@markh975]

Erin, as eloquent as ever, and I love when you guys do Sifu... he's just the worst human.

[@ReferMadness]

You have got to be the only person to ever compare Sifu Seagal and Marlon Brando!

[@coolwata105]

0:03 I love when they find out it's a Seagal movie 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@timothybrown2907]

23:07 oh, God, I forgot about his limp wristed running style. It’s been so long since I’ve seen him run to anything other than a buffet

[@JasonBrant]

It's hilarious.