Steven Seagal’s Maximum Conviction, Absolution - ralphthemoviemaker

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Timestamps:
00:00 - Introduction
1:49 - True Justice (2010)
3:16 - Surfshark VPN
4:41 - Maximum Conviction (2012)
10:40 - Absolution (2015)
15:35 - End of a Gun (2016)

[@ralphthemoviemaker]

Get an exclusive @Surfshark deal! Enter promo code RALPH for an extra 3 months free at surfshark.deals/ralph

[@OFWelsh]

enough pushing crap

[@dustydog1039]

@@OFWelshA man has to earn his bread

[@OFWelsh]

@@dustydog1039lolno

[@Kenny-Blankenship]

Please keep going with the Seagal videos

[@evildoughboy7773]

He's gonna snatch every mutha effer's birthday...

[@Spaceman_u]

Finally another video about our favorite half american, half russian, half japanese, half mongol, half jamaican, half african, half belarusian actor Steven Frederick Seagal :)

[@sirleeproductions]

epic

[@Blueshirt38]

You have to be more specific than "American". Sometimes he is a Blackfoot Indian warrior from Idaho, sometimes he is a swamp-man from the Louisiana bayou, sometimes he is a streetwise old black man from Philly... He is truly a melting pot of a man, both in his ethnicity, and his appearance.

[@frankoconnell6745]

@@Blueshirt38😂😂😂

[@Light-ji4fo]

If I add all halves, they add up to 3 and a half men. Which is accurate.

[@AnikMonette]

​@@Light-ji4foTrue, I'm not thin and 3 and a half of myself could fit in his pants!😅

[@TheLameWitch]

I cant believe Steven Seagal is both real and popular

[@boogerman908]

I'm not convinced

[@SaltStorm007]

‘popular’.....really deserves quotation marks when referring to Segal.....TBH, ‘real’ almost should be too!😂

[@thee8904]

Your profile picture makes me think you’re a weird person

[@bigjohnsbreakfastlog5819]

The late 80s were weird.

[@TheWrathAbove]

I dunno about popular, once upon a time maybe, but these days I'd settle more firmly on "known"

[@MrDrProfessorPurple]

Calling someone "casper the friendly ghost" is such an old fart insult. Steven has the intimidation levels of a bag of bread.

[@tylerironside8109]

He also has the physique of a bag of bread, except one where you take out all of the slices out of the bag and then put them back in

[@schembri317]

​@@tylerironside8109😂 that is a perfect description

[@BOFAMET]

Is it bad that I'm 28 years old and thought that line was kinda good? Like I would laugh so hard if I witnessed someone call somebody else that irl. jfc am I geriatric??

[@mhead1117]

Stop being mean to steven

[@munstrumridcully]

What's older and more out of touch than _BOOMERS_ ? ---- '49er? you know, like people born during the 1849 California Gold Rush? Or like, was he part of the Bolshevik Revolution in Russia, which would explain his love for Mother Russia and Vla-DEE-meeer Pooooo-TIN... This might also explain his disdain for his own homeland in the USA----- he's originally form Michigan, if memory serves, ------as well as Seagalls constant insistence that he is Asian/Russian Mongol, Italian, etc..., anything but a simple white guy from the States.... (anyone notice how Steve has a come-and-go "urban" accent, where he likes to call people "White-Boy" a lot, and use other such terms towards white people?....as if HE, HIMSELF, is not WHITE!!!! WTF is THAT about?!)

[@setlerking]

Seagal is like a GTA level parody of an action hero, but somehow with even less effort

[@4thSurviver]

Jack Howitzer movies sound like they're lot better than anything Steven Seagal ever made.

[@thientuongnguyen2564]

Life often imitates art after all.

[@novelezra]

Fun Fact: Steven Seagal was born on a turnip truck.

[@sirleeproductions]

epic

[@TalkingThrones]

And he's been snatching every motha f*ckin birthday ever since...

[@novelezra]

@@TalkingThrones I know. I've been without 20 birthdays now. I'm still in my teens because of him.

[@EdgieAlias]

​@@novelezraSTEVEN SEAGULL SINGLEHANDEDLY FINDS CURE TO AGING, WHAT A GUY!!!!

[@novelezra]

@@EdgieAlias **mumbles something indistinct and incomprehensible whilst sitting down**

[@panicatthegasstation]

Well, I bought Ralph"s enthusiasm during the promo. You could say he delivered the bit with... maximum conviction.

[@imperialspy805]

He was obviously making fun of Steven Segal's acting in that bit 🤡

[@imperialspy805]

@@chU62783y you missed my sarcasm by 1,000,000,000,003 miles 🤡

[@brunettebird57]

​​@@imperialspy805and this guy was obviously joking

[@imperialspy805]

@@brunettebird57 me 2

[@dogshake]

@@imperialspy805 “haha, jokes on you, I was merely pretending to be retarded” -You

[@benjaminkhoury4250]

Steven Segal and Steve Austin mumbling at eachother is hilarious

[@lordmontymord8701]

I believe Steve was just hired to make Steven look better by comparison ...

[@YorgosL1]

It’s crazy to think Steve Austin was in one of the better film before this

[@estebanmoraga3126]

It's really nice of Adum and Alex to let Ralph out of his cage from time to time to make a new video, tho I still think that for him to have to recite the script of all 3 Madagascar movies to a tee before earning his meal of the day is a little much.

[@sinisterz3r090]

Adum after the zoo incident:

[@anony-mousse8487]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@Thatonedude917]

How many times would you have to do that before you memorized it

[@bmo14lax]

​@@Thatonedude917fuck its actually depressing to think about having to memorize an entire script for food or you die I feel like itd take me a week lmao good one. U actually got me thinking

[@pranavdhilipproductions3255]

I'm 90% sure that when that actress kisses Seagal in Absolution, they used a double for Seagal. When the shot cuts to the backside of his head, the actor has a totally different hair type and product. Pretty sure the actress refused to kiss Seagal...don't blame her at all.

[@hypnotised-clover]

I love how he even has completely different glasses too.

[@icravedeath.1200]

He looks like he stinks of cheese.

[@John-Doe-Yo]

Watching sensei seagal and other geriatrics play make believe never gets old

[@itsflyde]

love this comment, but it neglects the fact that they are also getting paid millions of dollars to play make believe which makes it a lot funnier in my opinion

[@d3nza482]

@@itsflyde A NUMBER of dollars for sure, but I doubt the number in case is "millions". Bruce Willis was able to demand and get millions for his dementia retirement fund projects as he actually had prestige and reputation. Stevey Seagal only ever had a reputation of being a pathological liar and a narcissist. Hell, he even started pronouncing his last name as Si-ghal after finding out that a Jewish-French artist Marc Chagall pronounced his name in a similar manner while being born as Moishe Shagal. So, Steven Si-gel became Steven Si-ghal. Though to be fair it IS kinda hard to be taken as a tough guy with a mystical past and origin with such a stereotypical Jewish last name. Benjamin Siegel had to kill so many people that they started calling him Bugsy, as in "crazy", just to be taken seriously.

[@d.s.parentsr6502]

We live in the time-line where John Candy died in 1994 and Steven Seagal is still making movies like this.

[@demizson576]

Oh man. I just imagined John Candy making parodies of Steven Seagal wearing a giant black trenchcoat, orange-tinted sunglasses and a painted-on goatee.

[@uselessDM]

Uncle Steven

[@sweethysteria8737]

But this timeline gives us more Ralph videos

[@lambda494]

Steven Seagal, king of "bullshido" martial arts. Glad to see you Ralph

[@alternativetimelines3492]

i can’t stop laughing at how blatantly obvious it is that he uses a body double to walk upstairs

[@BuenaVista-ik6xt]

ralph and steven seagal are a match made in heaven. every episode of this format is an absolute banger.

[@user-vm9we7fs4d]

Seagal would rape him

[@SPACYtunes]

Call me entitled but I'm upset that it took Ralph so long to revisit Steven Seagal. He gave us the first three videos then held out on us for so long. I need my fix 😡

[@acomputer3559]

Nah that would be the KZbinr Space Ice. His narration of Steven Seagal's shit movies were hilarious

[@bmo14lax]

​@@acomputer3559yeah they are top tier.

[@chomosuke0720]

​@@acomputer3559 Space Ice is GOATed

[@TihetrisWeathersby]

I think Steven fooled himself that he's a legit badass

[@rogierb5945]

As they say; 'hes a legend in his own mind'.

[@AnikMonette]

The sad part is that he had a legit carreer and was decent at acting and performing action... Alas he seemed to have always been a narcissic douche so maybe it was meant to end up that way.

[@punishederic4761]

I think he's fooled at least a few others, these movies kept getting made until 2019

[@lordmontymord8701]

Sadly that type of self-convidence wasn't enough to take out the Gambinos ...

[@YorgosL1]

@@punishederic4761thanks to Covid. All those people went out of job

[@viscountrainbows2857]

"I was not born on a turnip truck" has got to be in the top 20 of "Uhmm.. yeah that is not as cold and badas as you thought when you wrote it on a napkin in chisel sharpie."

[@james2529]

Low stakes conspiracy theory: his female costar in end of a gun was black, so Seagal put on his black accent, neglecting the fact that his costar was black British.

[@KIager]

I was just thinking that. He sounds so fucking ridiculous and tryhard, and then she just responds perfect English.

[@Cheezitnator]

Mad respect for that stair stuntman. Get that easy paycheck, bro.

[@obychnyichelovek6757]

From what i've heard from Titus's Paar interview (director of Perfect Weapon) it's not uncommon in Hollywood to use a double in the scenes like that

[@d3nza482]

@@obychnyichelovek6757 Stairs. A menace to actors and Daleks everywhere.

[@taylorthebnnuy]

@@d3nza482and ED-209

[@wildmooseking]

I feel the worst for the young actresses who have to play opposite to Seagal.

[@d3nza482]

He tends to attempt to rape them, so... yeah...

[@ghostfacedude93]

Ralph is addicted to making videos about Steven Seagal, and I'm for it.

[@Blueshirt38]

16:02 Absolutely incredible work by the crew. Pause it and go frame by frame (use the , and . keys). Steven has a stovepipe malfunction (empty shell got stuck in slide while trying to eject), and they just said fuck it leave it in.

[@casechow]

Maximum Conviction. Where we steal all the money and leave our convictions behind. Maximally.

[@hardrockfreak1337]

Stephen Segal is doing Robert Downey Jr's voice from Tropic Thunder, but not as a joke.

[@ChaosTheoryDrozz]

Why do I feel like it would be impossible to meet Steven Seagal in real life because he'd need at least 30 body doubles to get anywhere he needs to go.

[@shawnconway6009]

I think the thing that stands out to me the most about Seagal? He sounds like he's out of breath all the time even when he's not doing anything. Is he doing that intentionally? Is he unable to sound like anything else? But he sounds like he's twice as heavy as he is.

[@joelkliebe]

I love how Ralph impersonates Steven Seagal’s voice better than Steven Seagal.

[@chimerschang]

I disagree, the grease level in his voice isn't nearly high enough.

[@MysteriousJojo]

Fully convinced Seagull and Austin aren't even on set at the same time in Maximum Conviction, shot reverse shot dialogue where you can only see half of the back of their head, like Sailboat was too fat to get into work that day so they had Austin just emote at the camera for a few minutes and talk at nothing

[@Saibellus]

considering how drastically different the lighting and even quality of audio is for the two of them, i believe it

[@itsflyde]

sailboat 😭

[@demizson576]

IIRC they did exactly that for Seagal and Mike Tyson in 'China Salesman'. They were never on set together, not even in their fight scene.

[@YorgosL1]

@@demizson576I mean Steven Seagal never show up on set filming with other actor unless it’s scene of him hunking women , sit and drive. Rest is just body double and back of the head shot

[@waqas4318]

lemme tack up

[@xnixxxonx]

Ralph, how did you know i was just rewatching your Stephen Segal videos??? What perfect timing dropping this one now!

[@SaltStorm007]

Must say that Ralph delivered this with.......MAXIMUM CONVICTION💯💪

[@SaltStorm007]

Love seeing Ralph getting sponsors💯Hope that everyone has a blessed one🙏

[@cronolucca]

Thank you, kind one.

[@imperialspy805]

I hate it

[@Treeeee2008]

​@@imperialspy805but he needs monee

[@osheroth]

Seagal and Austin would be awesome VAs for a Banjo Kazooie remake

[@tubesockvii2351]

How has this man not won an academy award yet?

[@DarkPhoenixSaga]

Lmao

[@theussmirage]

He's too busy accepting his Oscars to spend time picking up any of his 32 Academy Awards

[@annalavender6489]

Ralph reviewing Steven Seagal movies is my favourite video genre.

[@gustavohernandeza.890]

For me, the most funny part of these recent Seagal movies is him throwing constant F-bombs like he's in a Tarantino film but looking so cringely bad while doing it, which is not helped by his worsening appareance.

[@1000dumplings]

you know its gonna be a good day when ralph uploads

[@thechairman1317]

What a beautiful Tuesday morning, a fresh upload from Ralph about my favorite martial arts master Steven 'Vladimir' Seagal

[@Leechwife]

Steven Seagal is my spirit animal. I mean, there is a seagull named Steven and he is awesome.

[@annebruecks7381]

Yes! That reminds me, I have to check in 😊

[@aurorasaura5907]

Every month or so I go on what I call a Seagal Bender and I watch every video about this man I can find including the Ralph and Mista GG vids about his movies and I'm SO excited for another one to add to the list

[@chumberger]

When the world needed him most, he returned to us. Unfortunately it's at the cost of watching Steven SeaBoomBoom

[@Jabadamazo]

Ralph I agree with you on all counts of Steven being a hack, but small nitpick - he is a 7th dan black belt in Aikido, which does make him a martial arts master. Aikido is not flashy or what most people think of when they think of martial arts. It's not about striking, it's about efficient and practical ways of disarming and escaping situations.

[@TedCruzisthezodiac]

I can just picture the director yelling stairs and the body double comes in for that scene.

[@SleepFan771]

Who would ever believe Steven Seagal could ever beat up Vinnie Jones in any scenario?

[@audrey-vale]

i will not skip the ad because I like Ralph

[@thrillcollectors]

YES! Wasn’t sure we’d get another one of these. Glad you’re still making content Ralph

[@johnnybensonitis7853]

Despite the plummeting quality of his films over the last 13 years or so that shockingly seem to never find it's bottom, I still have heavy nostalgia for Out For Justice. When I was a kid I loved the Seagal movies, the Chuck Norris flicks, etc, and in Out For Justice when Seagal goes into the bar and puts the cue ball in the cloth then proceeds to beat the shit outta everyone...that's what I would call peak Seagal.

[@d3nza482]

Clearly, peak Seagal would be one of his numerous sexual assault reports and lawsuits.

[@jamesatkinsonja]

Those 2000's Seagal films were shoddy but somehow the 2010's ones are even worse.

[@TheAltarOfKez]

Steve Austin films are another rabbit hole that you could do a video on, for what it's worth.

[@dimwit5490]

I thought I was decent at understanding spoken English until I heard the Austin/Seagal dialogue. What is even happening

[@adamkares7549]

Both of them legit sound like Xanax was sponsoring this thing

[@m.streicher8286]

​@@adamkares7549watch Ralphs earlier seagal vids, he seems high most of the time.

[@FriendlyGreg10]

A return to form, great job Ralph ❤️

[@Lesleris]

I found myself thinking about Ralph and his KZbin channel. It's been a while since I last checked it out. I remember discovering his channel when I first started film school, and it was awesome. His way of looking at movies really opened my eyes and helped me a lot when I was struggling with my own short film projects. But, going back to his channel now, things have changed. Ralph's doing these short reviews instead of the deep dives he used to. I'm not knocking his new stuff...it's just kind of sad for me. It's like a reminder that those film school days are long gone and everything's moved on. It's weird how time flies, and seeing Ralph's channel change kind of brings all those feelings home.

[@BeardRubEnjoyer]

Dude, I know it must cause you pain to make these, but they bring me so much joy. So it's not entirely wasted suffering.

[@pinkcarrots5529]

ralph i have to tell you i really love these videos. i watched this one while i was cross-stitching and it made a perfect evening im not kidding

[@castortroy6588]

Ralph + Seafood Seagal = great video

[@kuul2k]

I'd never watch a Seagal movie, but i'd watch more of these, very entertaining.

[@HomerSimpsonIsCool]

The masterpiece "End Of a Gun" isn't featured in the title to this video. Just think of all the die hard "End of a Gun" fans that could have clicked on this upload! Thank you for the upload, Ralph. Thank you for subjecting yourself to bottom of the barrel Seagal content for our entertainment.

[@PetriCore.]

I'd remember Steve Austin being one of these, but I could've sworn Ralph reviewed Absolution already. I've never seen movies so...interchangeable. Even if I was laundering money, I'd still at least try not to make it so obvious lmao

[@GenesiisDavid]

Bro you could literally stitch parts of different movies he has been in and it'll make a cut as coherent as any of the movies he puts out

[@arockfriendly8399]

A day with a new Ralph video is a good day. Basically.

[@RagingDemon16]

I love Ralph's impersonation of Steven LMFAO

[@tonyjoestar2632]

I'm not really a podcast guy, so Ralph dropping a RTTM on us got me feeling like I was born on a turnip truck. Hell yeah

[@janjanbinks1710]

He's snatching a motherfuckin' birthday Yee haw

[@KevRyanCG]

I know way more than I'd like about the latter career of Steven Segal thanks to you Ralph.

[@heyfella5217]

His Dracula hairline i CANTTTT He's drinking fentynol laced cereal milk

[@achabotte]

5:35 The first scene with Steven Segall and Steve Austin. He stares directly at the camera as he walks into the shot, realizes he is doing it, looks down and then looks into the distance lol.

[@SaltStorm007]

I SO NEEDED THIS UPLOAD💯💪 BTW.....is anyone else waiting for someone to make a compilation with all the weird scenes that Steven has done😂It would be so amazing and weird! It is BS how the streaming services now have anti-vpn messages saying you can’t use them while using their sites!

[@E2theBizzle]

Steven Seagal is, unintentionally, the greatest comedian of a generation.

[@SphericalNervousSystem]

Steve Austin must not remember being in maximum convection- I’m starting to think Steven Seagal is a shared delusion of a fever dream we are experiencing rn. 😂 this man isn’t reaaaaal-

[@armenov666]

My man, that move to the sponsor of the episode is just smooooooth!

[@blautens]

Nobody does more seated fighting than Steven Seagal.

[@snowbofr3ak]

You've got the best Steven Seagal content out there, Ralph

[@demizson576]

That's what I thought before I discovered 'Space Ice' and 'RedEye Reviews'... Ralph is still pretty good though.

[@gyroownstheworld]

Every day, I'm surprised Steven Seagal is still alive

[@d3nza482]

Being born tall goes a long way.

[@cronolucca]

The delivery of Seagal's movies should be used in art schools as the perfect example of how NOT to act. 🤣 Great video, Ralph, good to see you back!!

[@DarkPhoenixSaga]

Jesus, Steven Seagal can't even walk up the damn stairs.

[@GibsonHReviews]

Been waiting for part 4 for ages!

[@MossB87]

Ralph is the GOAT Seagal roaster

[@TekharthaMondatta]

a lot of men suffer from a receding hairline, but Mister Seagal suffers from a much rarer *advancing* hairline

[@charlottecorday8494]

That segue into the sponsored content was CLEAN AF

[@OhsoLosoo]

Idk how he did this. But I was literally watching Steven Seagul reviews for the first time in like 5 years. & then he jus randomly drops this.

[@bigjordog]

I’ve been watching your videos for 5+ years and am glad you’re still making them

[@PottedIvyPlant]

Loved this new video !! Your videos are such a comfort

[@GuyOnAChair]

I'm happy as long as Ralph is uploading.

[@andyjones2224]

ive been watching you for like almost 10 years bless u ralph sepe jr

[@pandamonium9255]

Yes! More Steven Segal review by RTMM!!!

[@KakashSenpai]

Good to see you Ralph :)

[@NicoGeeraerts]

Ralphie! Thanks for the content!

[@Jm-ki4su]

seagal: i didn't know pig fat could be sentient, but here we are

[@mikedinunzio1]

Good to see one of the og reviewers back. 👊

[@markandrewpaul4233]

If you put the sub titles on for this video when Seagal speaks it says in brackets mumbling 😂😂😂

[@AmarieRedLipstick]

Yay! Welcome back 😊

[@zedofthedead]

Earliest I've ever been, thanks for still making content Ralph

[@AehsSeven]

Loving Ralph's energy in this review!

[@Circleglide]

YES I MISSED THESE REVIEWS RALPH

[@bensneb360]

No body roasts Steven Segal like Ralph, it's just SO enjyable

[@muffinsdawg]

Thanks Ralph. Love you 💜

[@FreedomVengeance]

0:49 When you don't get morning coffee for your caffeine addiction

[@ameliadavidson360]

OMG YES! ANOTHER ONE! YES! I HAVE BEEN BLESSED! 💙💙

[@ichirumu65]

Lord fucking knows that Ralph just saved my whole morning with more of these rotten gems😩

[@tessalyyvuo1667]

As Goldenbell Training said in one of his videos about Seagal. Steven Seagal is an absolute monster.

[@MC-yl1ww]

Amazed Ralph didn't comment on the fact Steven and Steve Austin probably weren't even on set together

[@Lesbean_Burrito]

The backwards hat is the funniest part.

[@aoifecaetan9832]

His widow’s peak is so intense. He makes it look like a helmet.

[@blaisetelfer8499]

Your Steve Austin imitation reminded me of Boomhauer, and that's all I could think of every time he spoke 😆